#i could have included s2 but i wanted to compare it with el a lot and theyre barely together that season

[demadogs]

am i the only one that doesn’t have hope anymore? like at all? i don’t trust the duffers anymore and i feel like us(the bylers) created all this byler thing in our heads and we just looked too much into the details in the show :(

i dont blame you for not having hope bc volume 2 for byler definitely was a disappointment and i understand not wanting to look between the lines of the monologue and get hopes up only to be disappointed again but DO NOT think we just made all this up!! if byler doesnt happen i genuinely think that it was their plan originally and then they trashed it.

its not like theres two or three potential hints towards it. there are dozens and dozens of clues and subtext from the dialogue and actions of the characters but also the cinematography, the lighting, the score and tracks they use, the parallels to other couples on the show, the placement of their characters, and probably so much more we havent even noticed yet. we did not make anything up.

after volume 2 i wasnt that sad or mad because more than anything i was just VERY confused. because none of mike wheelers actions make sense unless hes deeply struggling with internalized homophobia. there will be genuine plotholes in the whole show if they stick with mlvn til the end.

lets look at mikes actions alone. can you answer ANY of these questions with an answer thats NOT related to his sexuality?

why did mike not let el touch her when they were kissing at the beginning of s3?

why did he say “its not my fault you dont like girls” if thats not projecting?

why did he say he loves her out loud to everyone else but then pretend he didnt know what she was talking about when she brought it up again?

why did he look so confused when el kissed him and said she loves him and why did he keep his eyes open and didnt kiss her back at all?

why didnt mike have any indication of even having a gf in his room besides the letter we saw him read, while el had a whole shrine and a “book of letters” from him? why did, instead, mike have wills drawings up all over the basement and has a while binder for them that we saw in s1. book of drawings.

WHY on earth wouldnt mike hug his best friend who he hasnt seen in months at the airport? its not because he knows wills feelings, the duffers and finn and the script itself have confirmed hes oblivious to his sexuality and feelings for him.

why did mike look so nervous to ask will about the painting? if it was just because their friendship was kinda dying i think he would have said it as if he was bored or didnt care but instead he looked like he cared a little too much and was trying to hide it. this is right after reading el’s letter that said that will might be painting for a girl.

why did mike barely even look at el as they were walking out of the airport and why did he wear something very different for mike as if he’s portraying someone he’s not?

why would mike emphasize so much “WE’RE FRIENDS!!! we’re friends!” will didnt mean it in a romantic context but mike took it that way.

why was mike kinda an asshole to el and didnt comfort her after the bullies at the rink? “she didnt look fine?” what the hell.

WHY COULDNT MIKE SAY OR WRITE THAT HE LOVES EL!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT SCENE IF HE ACTUALLY GENUINELY DOES LOVE HER??? why didnt he say it right then if he did?

why was that “i feel like i lost you” scene so god damn flirty? he’s never looked at el the way he looked at him here.

why did he nod when will told him that its scary to open up to people especially if they dont like the truth? why did finn say that this “psyches him out”?

why did mike say “its not fate, its not destiny, its just simple dumb luck” about first meeting el and then claim to her that the moment he say her in the woods was love at first sight? we know that this is a blatant lie and will should know this too.

why did mike look at will like THAT during the painting scene!!!??? (i will admit tho this could be finn wolfhard just wanting his character to be gay so he plays him gay but they could have used shots of him not looking at his lips but they kept them in.)

WHY DID WILL HAVE TO PUSH MIKE TO CONTINUE TALKING TO EL!!!!!???? HE WASNT GONNA SAY HE LOVES HER BUT WILL PUSHED HIM INTO IT!!!!!!!!

and thats just his actions alone!!! now lets look into the more technical film choices theyve made when it comes to mike wheeler. again, can you answer any of these questions with an answer thats not related to him having internalized homophobia?

why did they make it clear that max and lucas at day of the dead were having a date (“im spending romantic time with my girlfriend”) and then choose to place mike and will together but not with them, as if mike and will were on a date too.

why did they film mike and el’s break up in s3 so playfully and humorous with bright lighting, lots of colors, an audience, max and el laughing, and fun music after vs mike and will’s fight which was very dark and blue, pouring rain, harsh shadows, and played an emotional original score track?

WHY the eye witness parallel?

why would they frame mike in a closet in s3 during that awkward unreciprocated kiss? this is the biggest thing by far for me that makes me think he’s gay for sure.

why did they frame mike reading el’s letter so that theres a literal fucking one way sign pointing to an open closet?

why did bouncy upbeat music play when he and el reunited at the airport? they could have made it emotional but they made it light and playful as if its more friendly than romantic.

WHY DID THEY PLAY A TRACK CALLED “IN THE CLOSET” WHEN MIKE STARTS SPEAKING!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT WILL!!! this is also right after he said “we’re firends we’re friends!!” no its not just because el is in a literal closet here, the track starts during mike and wills fight.

why did they play a track that is EXTREMELY similar to the track eulogy during mike and el’s fight, a track thats only played when someone dies.

(emotional, tender music). why. its only used in romantic contexts. we see it used with byler, lumax, jopper, and once with mlvn when theyre at the pizza place.

why did they frame will out of focus in the middle of mike and el when they reunited!!? at first i thought this was just to emphasize will’s pov but now im thinking it might be more symbolic of will getting in between mike and eleven. he himself isnt doing that at all though, quite the opposite actually- he keeps giving mike relationship advice and hes the reason mike told el he loves her, so it must be in reference to how will is disrupting mike and els relationship because of mikes feelings for him.

why did they keep will in the frame when mike said he loved her? the only other time we had a similar one on one emotional monologue delivery to someone was in s2 when joyce, jonathan, and mike were trying to reach will and mike told him asking him to be friends was the best thing hes ever done. that was shot as if there were no one else in the room it was very centered around just will and mike, whereas this monologue shows will in the same frame as mike as well as will and jonathans reactions to what hes saying.

and lastly, WHY did they frame every couple so dramatically paired off together in the final shot while el was all alone. joyce and hopper, mike and will, and jonanathan and nancy. theyve done this in the past but this was the first time they made it excruciatingly obvious.

damn i wasnt gonna list out every thing i know when i first started answering this but thats what i ended up doing. anyways, again, i understand giving up considering how disappointing volume 2 was, but absolutely no way was it all in our heads. look at all that.

i still have hope just for the sheer fact that not only mike wheeler as a character, but all their film choices surrounding mike wheeler make no fucking sense unless hes gay and DEEP in the closet.

#jeuss thats a lot #im gonna think of another huge one i forgot right after i post this i know it #i could have included s2 but i wanted to compare it with el a lot and theyre barely together that season #thats not even all of it i only included the ones i know had to be intentional #there are so many others that im still kinda on the fence about #i wanna be convinced about mikes arrow on his heart always pointing to will but im not 100% sold yet #byler #stranger things #eden answers

[erikiara80]

ST will end like The Return of the King

I was thinking about the things the Duffers have said about the ending so far...

S5 will be similar to S1 in terms of dynamics and setting (edit: AND to S2 in terms of some big ideas they couldn’t include at the time)

No open ending 

The ending is like the epilogue of TROTK and they know what happens in the last 20-30 mins (TROTK epilogue is 20 min long)

Eight endings? 

Then there’s David, the only member of the cast who knows the ending. He said that it’s quite beautiful. Also a bit bittersweet. And in this interview with Finn, Wynona and Caleb, when they were talking about Will, he said that Will is not interested in El (like some fans suggested -sigh) but in another member of the party, and that “he wants to play D&D in Mike’s basement for the rest of his life” He said that with this smirk. And Finn laughed and said: “Yeah, Will said that”. Yeah. I’d say Byler is safe, lol. A sad, tragic ending for Will and Mike? Not possible : ) 

Yes. They do, lol So. How will ST end? 

1. S5 will more like S1 and S2, but bigger

This is just a theory, but I love good parallels and the Duffers have never disappointed me in that regard. So, in 1x08 both Will and El almost die, while the others try to help them. El kills the Demogorgon but disappears, and Will is physically connected to the UD and, well, he’s technically dead. He’s not breathing, and Joyce and Hopper have to revive him. I hope that in S5 Will and El will fight together to defeat Vecna and stop the spreading of the spores in our world. And I think they will both almost die, again. Will is a lot like Frodo, so I expect a lot of pain and torment for him in S5. But he’s also Radagast, the wizard who can communicate with the creatures of Mirkwood. So my theory is that in the last episode of S5 he’ll connect himself to the UD to destroy the spores, the vines, whatever. And since he’s always been associated with fire, in both the campaigns in 1x01 and 1x08 (not to mention the Will the Wise drawing in S2), maybe he will use fire to destroy the spores. Maybe he and El will connect their powers to do it together! 

Oh, and if he almost dies again, this time I think it is possible it’ll be Mike who saves him. Plus, if they really include many ideas they wanted to use in S2, well, Will’s connection to the UD and Henry/Mind Flayer was the most important part of the story, so it totally makes sense that he’ll be central in S5.

As for El, she needs to end her journey feeling that she finally belongs. That she’s found her place in the world, her home. She’s happy with Hopper and with the Byers, but I think that finding out that Will, her brother, someone so good and who loves her, is like her, would be the most important thing for El. It just feels so right. But yeah, in S1 she disappears. And she’s been compared to E.T. a lot throughout the show (mostly visually and by the Duffers). So maybe in S5 she will leave again. But she won’t be trapped in the UD. I have a theory about her mom. Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking. Watching El reliving all her memories, finding herself stuck in a loop and having to find the answers she needed to regain her powers, make me hope that maybe she can do the same for Terry, whose mind is also trapped in a loop. She could still feel her daughter and communicate with her. That means that her brain still works, maybe because she has powers too. Who knows? El saw her mom in her memory in S4, and was also able to revive Max. She’s much more powerful now than in S2. So yeah, I kinda hope she can heal her mother and go home. Like E.T. But it would be a happy ending. We’ll see.

2. No open ending

Yep. They will kill Vecna and close the gates once and for all. No more threats from the UD.  

3-4. The last 20-30 minutes will probably be an epilogue, a bit like the ending of TROTK (the Duffers joked about this in a podcast)

I think Will (or maybe him and Mike) is the one who will tell what happens to all the characters. Like Frodo. There’s going to be another time skip, but I hope it’s just a few years, like them in college, starting a new life and not 52 year old Will telling us what happened in these 30 years. But it is very possible. And if they do that, we could see some of the main characters die. Like Hopper and Joyce, who would be in their 80s now. The bittersweet part. Life goes on and at some point you’re going to lose your loved ones. But they’ll never really leave you. The love and the friendships that made you who you are, are real, are part of you, and sometimes they can literally save the world. (Sorry, I’m already crying)

The possible 8 endings

Joyce and Hopper

El

Jonathan and Nancy

Steve and Dustin (yes, I think they’ll leave Hawkins together)

The Sinclairs + Max (so, Lumax and Erica)

Robin and Vickie

Argyle 

and of course, Will and Mike

This is what I hope to see. If I’m wrong, maybe we won’t see Jancy but two separate endings for Jonathan and Nancy, or for Steve and Dustin  (maybe we’ll see Dustin and Suzie?)

Anyways, I’m sure season 5 will be both epic and very emotional. I will definitely cry. But whatever happens, I will always love this beautiful story about family and love, and all its wonderful characters.

#will byers #byler #st s5 #st s5 theory #st s5 spoilers #el hopper #jancy #jopper #lumax #joyce byers #jonathan byers #mike wheeler #nancy wheeler #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #steve harrington #robin buckley #jim hopper #stranger things

[sttheorycraft]

I agree with you that Byler is probably not happening at this point, but I would love to hear your 10% reasons why it still might. I don't think you should be afraid of giving out false hope because 100k people in the Byler tag are already doing that anyway lol. It's okay if you don't want to share, though. I'm just curious to hear what you think.

I'm not sure that logic holds (about false hope) but hey, why not.

I've already said that S4 proved (through Hopper's survival) that the writers will ignore inconsistencies if it lets them tell the story they want to tell. This makes it really hard to theorize about what could come next, but also means everything is still on the table. If Byler is a story they want to tell, they'll tell it.

Their forgetting Will's birthday suggests they're not paying attention to small details, which calls into question a LOT of Byler "evidence." But there's still a little hope if we step back and look at some probable facts about the production. They seem quite pro-LGBT both from their social media activity and from scenes from the show. For example, Mike standing up for Will in S1, and how well they handled Robin's coming out scene. They have voiced a concern for protecting the little guy (I'm thinking of Harbour's acceptance speech) and one of the show's major themes is about "normal" being overrated and "different" being okay (and "different" is strongly tied to homosexuality in the show).

All of that is to say: I don't think they would want to queerbait fans on purpose. They knew Byler shippers existed at least by S3, if not S2 which is I think when it started (I wasn't around then). They were interacting with us on Twitter while writing S4. After a certain point, if you're not planning on Byler endgame you kinda have a responsibility to your fans to signal this unambiguously in the show, as early as possible. You could argue that Byler shippers are so creative in reading into things that it would be impossible for them to accept a non-Byler endgame until the end, if even then. But the writers definitely didn't shut the door firmly in S3, and while I can see signs I could interpret as shutting the door in S4 (most notably the speech), it really should've been done less ambiguously if that was the intent. Even people on Reddit were getting wind of an old-school queerbait in Vol 1.

Just some questions in S4 that could be nothing but why are they even questions if they're trying not to queerbait:

Why is there a one-way sign in Mike's room pointing to an open closet in S4E1? If that was accidental it was a huge oversight

When Mike meets El in the airport, he picked his clothes because she liked those colors. I get Mike is supposed to be awkward but Mike's views on their relationship sound incredibly juvenile. Compare to Lumax throughout the season, or El's complaint to Mike about never saying "Love." Or even Mike and Will's conversations, it's not like Mike can't have mature conversations

Why does Mike act so weird when greeting Will at the airport? Could be to emphasize Will's emotions, but it's still odd

Why does Mike get weird with El after the roller skate incident? Serves the plot but seems out of character and is unnecessary Mileven tension

The El/Superhero thing. Mike really does refer to El primarily as a superheroine throughout the season. Including to Dustin when Dustin is bragging on his girlfriend. He's never really that romantic

It's clear why Will's eyes get shimmery during Mike's apology but why do Mike's? It seems a little over the top if nothing is going on there

Why is Will so practically psychic with Mike? And a little bit in reverse but Mike is oblivious sometimes too. Selectively, it feels like

When Mike confesses his "feelings" to El, it's spurred on directly by Will (it's almost peer pressure) and it comes out juvenile/awkward again. Could be Mike's personality, but again he's demonstrated he can do better. (I do need to rewatch this, have only watched Vol 2 once through)

Robin and Vickie (not sure if I've stated publicly but I see Vickie as bi from a million miles away) getting together at the end could be foreshadowing apparently hopeless relationships coming to be??

Other things that I can't forget:

Will's favorite song is "Should I Stay or Should I Go" which is about a push-pull relationship, much like Will is experiencing with Mike

The whole "keep the door open 3 inches" meme from S3

Unfortunately, all the above doesn't add up to anything ironclad. I think it's important to test your beliefs. I came up with a couple of checks before S4 came out, basically how could I tell if they were trying to shoot down Byler:

Attempts to define the relationship with Byler. Mike does twice: as best friends.

Strengthening Mileven. Mike arguably does in his speech.

These are both surface-level and handled poorly, but unfortunately since both came true I'm left with 90% likely that they're trying in good faith to avoid queerbaiting but just not handling it very well (underestimating Byler shippers' ability to rationalize basically). Or a 10% chance that they're still up to something based on the above.

Hope this helps and doesn't give anyone TOO much hope. I really want to emphasize: it's not queerbaiting if your fans are so adept at reading into things that anything you do is construed as evidence for their ship. But at the same time if Mileven endgame was the plan they really should've shut things down harder than they did.

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #st4 #stranger things theories #stranger things analysis #byler

[kaypeace21]

I believe that byler is an endgame

but why would they spend 3 seasons winding up with mileven?

People REALLY need to pay attention to the shows the Duffers cited as huge inspirations to them. Cheers,dawsons creek, freak &geeks did exactly what the Duffers are doing (and the Duffers said these shows inspired them)

. Cheers for over 5 seasons built up the pairing of sam and Dianne- had them break up in the s5 finale and then in the last 2 eps of the 11th season have them get back together and once again break up explaining for the 100th time they were wrong for each other and brought out the worst in eachother . Cheers would build up multiple pairings (Frasier /Lilith (s4-11/broke up in s11) , sam/Dianne (s 1-11, broke up in s11 permanently) , rebecca /sam (s8-10) Rebecca/robin (s8-9) -these pairings lasted for multiple seasons and they all broke up! They built pairings up for multiple seasons but showed throughout the show why those pairing in cheers could never work out in the long term. The same Thing happened with almost every pairing in Dawson’s creek (they’d build up multiple pairings up -sometimes for multiple seasons- sprinkle in good but also dysfunctional aspects of those relationships- and then break them apart for good ).

Also in Dawson’s creek 2 characters (a rich girl and poor guy with daddy issues) date and breakup- but both of their gay brothers get together and are endgame instead of them (cough jancy vs byler). One of the gay guys (the rich one with the book smart sis) even dated the main girl (Joey) for a while before admitting he was gay and that he was in denial (while dating the main girl for more than a season ). In D.C even the main guy(Dawson) / girl (Joey) don’t end up being endgame (despite teasing it for all 5 seasons) . They did this with a lot of couples in the show. Honestly, the Duffers pretty much borrowed this idea of showing pairings with issues and breaking them up -but toned down how long they’d bait them . Like 11seasons of showing dysfunctional couples date -ick. And Dawson’s creek ... my god it had a literal love octogon/ love webs (so many love squares/pentagons/ and on and off relationships). The 1 adult couple broke up and I’m not exaggeration 4 times, and Dawson got back with 2 of his girlfriends like so many times. And ugh I’d say each (of the 4-5) main characters dated at least 4 people -and each of those relationships lasted for like 20+ eps each... and then after all that build up -break up ). That’s not even including the people the main 5 or so characters would date for like 5-6 eps . Thank god it was toned down compared to Dawson’s creek or cheers. i can’t imagine the frustration watching those shows during its airing 😂

Freaks & geeks (set in the 80s)was also inspo.14 y old Sam who is bullied and called “homo” “queer” etc throughout the whole series - he also obsesses over a cheerleader girl for the whole series and in the second to last ep of the series- they finally start dating  and he realizes they have nothing in common and says “it’s boring. all we ever do is makeout.She likes nothing i like. We can’t talk to eachother. We never have fun.” And he admits he only keeps dating her cause everyone would call him “crazy” to not date her. sam and her are also said to be “from different planets” and “different species”  just like mileven in s3 lol.  The gf of  sam also says before they dated she saw him ‘like a sister’ (like El asking mike if he’d be her brother in s1, before they date). And after this sibling comment various characters -encouraged the couple and said they would be good together (before they dated-like what we’ve seen in st with mileven and other ships ).Sam eventually decides to not cave to peer pressure- and breaks up with her. Meanwhile sam’s sis (is a straight A student, who is initially into a popular guy and starts hanging with the cool kids).  After getting over the first (popular) guy, she later dates another guy- a music-obsessed-stoner-guy  with a cruddy dad...and she breaks up with him (like jancy?). That couple was even called ‘romeo & juliet’ before they broke up-similar to mileven being called “romeo & juliet’ before their breakup. plus r&j were never in love... just like mileven.

All 3 shows had the main guy/girl date but not end up with eachother in the end . And both shows -would build up several pairings that looked like endgame but would show faults in those relationships and would have them breakup (because those pairings were never that healthy together). Which I believe is what they’re doing with jancy, jopper, mileven and lumax (explained in my analysis here all the evidence for why I don’t think they don’t end up together). I mean there’s many reasons I listed in the analysis but you think it’s a coincidence - jancy, lumax, mileven , and Steve/rando girl who rejected him in s3-all incorportated spying on their love interest ? you think the duffers think that’s good to have all these romantic pairings spy on eachother? When in the show they canonically have the us gov (villains) spy via phone taps, and hidden recorders, and cameras? Brenner used El as a spy for his own gain ? they even call the mf a ‘spy’ (which the characters perceive as the  main villain)... i don’t think the mf is  actually villainous but that’s off topic).The point is narratively equating spying as something ‘wrong’ by characters our main cast of heroes is against. But having that same cast of heroes partaking in spying themselves … specifically on to their romantic partners- and not also showing it as a negative. But romanticizing it? Would be quite hypocritical. And a HUGE narrative oversight.

Also build up?

S1- mileven kiss right after el asks if he’ll be her “friend” or “brother”. Has others compare el to mike’s sibling /cousin. Hint Will is gay . Have hints mike is queer too/ and cares deeply about Will. Constantly mention how el physically resembles Will/a boy. Parallel mileven to ted/Karen who were “never in love”. Have Nancy and mike verbally compare the jancy/stancy love triangle to mileven/byler . And at the end of the season mike writes a story for Will that likens the 2 to han/leia. Flo says about jancy/Jon “ only love makes you that crazy and that damn stupid”. (Which flo wasn’t entirely right about since jon punched Steve for insulting his family- for Jon it was familial love -not romantic love. But put a pin in that phrase)

S2- was pretty much byler season (and mileven barely interact that season). Byler say they’d go “crazy together”. But el’s new catchphrase is she’s “not stupid.” They Compare mileven to luke/leia (siblings that kissed) . Ref ghostbusters and parallel byler to the romantic pairing of Dana /venkman (but have el just be a ghost and mike a ghost buster which isn’t romantic but the opposite) .parallel mileven to hopper/el. Have el spy on mike, el hurt a stranger cause of unhealthy jealousy, have mileven dance to a song about a possessive spying/Stalking ex gf . Throw in mileven burns like “they’re not in love they’re not even from the same planet.” (El being et ref) . Have mike say annoyed “a bond ?! (Scoff) cause you shared nougat?! “ (egos like s1 ) “. Mike saying after knowing max for a week “hate you? I don’t even know you?” (He knew el for a week too so no way he loves her -cause he doesn’t know el , just like max ) . mike even criticizes his friends’ instant attraction to max saying “you haven’t even spoken a word to her.”Dustin saying “ I don’t have to . I mean -look at her.” Which makes it even more suspicious that mike was into a girl who multiple characters said looked like a boy (specifically Will) in s1. Have El watch a soap opera (all my children) and mimic the scene of  erica kane and her love interest michael. Which in the soap opera-isn’t endgame, and ended with some stalking after their breakup.

S3- mileven is finally dating : multiple characters (lucas, Will, Hopper, dustin,Max, etc) in the show dislike and verbally complain about them together . In cheers all of sam’s friends hated him dating Dianne and would vocally complain about it (similar to joyce they even clapped/cheered after 1 of their many breakups) . Mike is horrified by the spying(that mileven fans romanticized in s2) , el is happier single and neither is heartbroken over the breakup. They date for 2 eps and then breakup . Mileven being together inhibits El’s character arc from s2 (aka she went from wanting to explore the world and leave the cabin in s2 to see her friends, to ignoring her friends and cutting herself off from the world in order to stay in the cabin all day to make out with mike for 6 months - she would literally lie to her friends about curfew to return to the cabin and kiss mike -going against her ‘friends don’t lie’ mantra from the past 2 seasons too ). Mike canonically doesn’t trust her / doesn’t believe in her ability to make decisions and lies to her and never apologizes for lying. And el doesn’t apologize for spying . They throw in more gay hints of mike & Will. Mileven is called “bullshit” like s2 stancy . And Both pairings in the show kissed a bunch and said “I love you” (but they weren’t endgame). They also contrast s3 mileven scenes to s2 byler scenes and have byler win out. And once again parallel mileven to hopper/el and Karen/ted. As well as paralleling and likening Mileven to stancy in numerous other ways (besides the “bullshit “ line) . They also parallel mileven to stobin (both are straight baits) .They parallel the stobin confession to the mileven one -both confessions have them sitting on the floor, both girls have bandages on their legs, and both confessions are interrupted by dustin. Also both Steve/mike use the terms “crazy & stupid ” to confess to robin/el. But unlike Will who agrees to be “crazy “ with mike .El confused , asks “ what makes you crazy?” And robin says she didn’t have a crush on his “stupid hair”. el even says in reference to mike “there’s more to life than stupid boys.” Showing how el/robin don’t have romantic feelings for the boys-like the flo phrase of s1. Unlike Will who after fighting with mike calls himself “stupid” over and over and rips up the photo of him and mike where they promised to go “crazy together.” Even Steve says in s2 stancy should should “pretend to be stupid teenagers” in love. Emphasis on “pretend”. And when el says she loves mike “the first I love you” plays -the only other time that song plays in s3 is when robin rejects Steve (cause she’s gay.) cough cause mike is gay too.

There’s a lot more in each season (that illustrates mileven was built up -but not as a positive couple but a problematic one that was never was in love to begin with ). But I’m trying to keep this short . You can read this post here where I go in more depth about all of this .

S1-2 builds up the problematic ships (but showed good and bad aspects of their dynamic) . like the spying of jancy, lumax, and mileven or the jealousy. of Hopper in s2. In the s2 finalie they have them kiss or hug/exchange romantic glances. And in S3 we see the after math of this with all the couples officially dating - and they show all the couples issues at the forefront . I already talked about mileven. But, Lumax broke up 6 times (they dated for 6 months- and every month they dated max dumped him ). Jancy fight in the opening of ep 1 and don’t understand each others issues (sexism/poverty-and Jon’s issues with his dad) . And neither supports the other in their passions of journalism & photography.Nancy is also called “nancy drew” who in 1986 (year of s4) before going to college dumps her long term highschool bf (who helped her in many of her past mysteries/novels ). Their relationship was also shown as complex and somewhat dysfunctional because of both parties -before nancy drew dumps him. And (even if not dating like the other pairings) jopper almost go on a date in s3. Joyce was trying to hide the fact she was moving, Hopper was horribly jealous, and all they did was yell and argue.Murray says to joyce regarding hopper “he’s a brute... probably reminds you of a bad relationship” (aka lonnie/Joyce) . They even have Joyce watch a cheers ep- which directly compares jopper to (dianne/Frasier) who weren’t endgame in cheers but a rebound .  Hopper /fraiser both drink chianti . Fraiser asks dianne to marry him/Hopper asks Joyce on a date-both women stand them up. Or when Joyce asks Hopper out she calls her self ‘detective byers ‘and Hopper name drops miami vice. Which had an on and off again relationship for several seasons- of the male /female detectives.The relationship faded out as Gina realized they mainly got together when one or both needed someone. Crockett was very protective of Gina, and had some jealousy when Gina was involved in relationships , but was the first one to be there for her when things went wrong. And they realized it was better to not be together romantically. Heck seems like all these couples have negative film/tv parallels... lucas in s2 mentions not liking winston in ghost busters cause he came ‘super late’ (like Max). in s1 disses michael myers (which Max dressed as). And at the end of s3- lumax dress identically to eric/donna from a ep of that 70s shows (in the ep  eric/donna were broken up).

 (s3 was marketed as the “summer of love” and “summer love” is a euphemism for flings that don’t last.) s4-5 Will probably show good healthy ships/break up the problematic ones from past seasons .

So first 2 seasons focus on the unhealthy ships / and the last 2 seasons focus on healthy ships. S3 the middle season would be considered the turning point -and why none of the popular ships (assumed to be endgame) came off looking that great (compared to how they were presented in s1-2) .

#byler #anti mileven #byeler #stranger things

[aprincessofdaxam]

So here's the thing. When the Supergirl S3 finale aired, I absolutely hated it. And it took me nearly a year to be willing to watch it again. Because not only was I just flat-out upset because I ship Karamel and because my two favorite characters were written off the show (although at least they have each other - wait, do you hear that sound? It’s the sound of Imra screaming from the 31st century as Mon-El and Winn drive her nuts) ...

But Mon-El’s final scene? With the speech about how for a minute he thought maybe, just maybe, this was his place? Gutted me. Absolutely gutted me. We all get set off by different things, and I kid you not, that scene gave me a wicked surprise attack of homesickness and I literally cried until 4 a.m. (sometimes I hate you and your emotive acting, Chris Wood).

(complete gifset from @the-karamel-blob here)

But you know what, a year down the pike? I don't hate it. Don’t get me wrong. I'm still pretty bitter about the Karamel bait-and-switch, I still miss our outer space stray puppy terribly, and I call total BS on the "it was always a two-year arc" thing, but I actually think it was a really beautiful and meaningful send-off for Mon-El in that moment.

And anyway, it's been awhile since I've written a literal essay about Mon-El and our space puppies so LET'S CHAT. Novel on the S3 finale beneath the cut, for dash prettiness.

(also included: Why I still think Karamel is endgame, why I think Mon-El will be back, what I really think went down behind the scenes, and what Winn's appearance in S5 might mean)

Tagging @peggystormborn and @facepalming-since-chernobyl because why the heck not, you all like character/plot analysis

When Kara first creates her superhero identity, she spends a LOT of time comparing herself to Clark. And others also compare her to Clark - and she internalizes all of it.

"What, Metropolis gets him, and what does National City get? Some rookie superhero?"

"It's funny - that was the first thing he did. Save a plane, I mean."

"If she's anything like him, she's a hero."

"What are you waiting for? Superman would've blown it out by now!"

"Why do you keep criticizing Supergirl for trying to save the city? When Superman started, it was he, he, he. Him, him, him."

"My cousin didn't have a get-out-of-jail-free card when he first started. Neither should I!"

"I was supposed to be the one saving him, not the other way around. How am I supposed to really become a hero if Superman has to keep saving me?"

"If I was in Metropolis, Clark and I could protect the city and keep each other safe. And there's still so much I want to learn from him."

Now, this isn't about whether it's valid to compare Kara to Clark, or about the layers of problems that come in when you start comparing women to men - that's a whole other essay. It's about Kara's feelings, how Kara defines being a hero, and the standard she feels she needs to live up to as a hero. And since this show is built around Kara, Kara's standard for heroism become the show's definition of it, and the standards the other characters in the show should be held to in their various pursuits of goodness in the world, as well.

And that creates a very interesting comparison between Kara's arc through the first two seasons of the show (S1-S2) and Mon-El's arc in the two seasons he's appeared in thus far (S2-S3).

When Kara starts out in her journey, at the start of S1, she is in this headspace where she is constantly comparing herself to Clark. But she learns so much and accomplishes so much and shows so much strength, that by the end of S2, they have moved her to this point in her hero's journey where she is Clark's equal or superior - not only in terms of physical strength (when she defeats him after Rhea brainwashes him with silver K), but in emotional strength, as she chooses the greater good over her own personal self when she has to let Mon-El go. And her status at that point is by Clark's own admission - the person she was trying to live up to all that time.

"I think it goes far beyond 'the right thing.' I couldn't have done it, Kara. I'm humbled by you. Yeah, I'd like to think that if it came down to a choice between Lois and the world .... but I don't think I could."

So how does that relate to Mon-El's journey? Because there are a lot of parallels between Kara's hard decision at the end of S2, and his hard decision at the end of S3. And if, at the end of S2, we're supposed to see Kara as a fully-realized hero, a true champion, then that's how he's sent off as well (I'd definitely argue that Mon-El showed brave and heroic qualities even in S2, even while on a steep learning curve, but go with me here, because the parallel is really meaningful when you get to it)

Just as Kara held Clark up as her bar for being a hero, Mon-El holds Kara up as his ideal and his definition of a hero when he starts off on his journey - to the point where he eventually founds the Legion in her image.

"And whether we're together or not, being near her, it makes me a better person. It makes me the person that I want to be."

"I think we could all stand to be a little more like you. More optimistic and brave."

"I mean, you do that every day. I don't even understand it. You make it look so easy to do the right thing that you wouldn't even guess that it's that hard. But it's hard. You sacrifice a lot for everyone else, and I know I'm beginning to sound like a broken record here, but I admire you.

"I promise I'm going to be the man that you thought I could be. I promise."

You inspired me. So when I founded the Legion, I chose to use you as an example of what we could be. Of what we aspire to be."

"We base the entire philosophy of the Legion on Supergirl. Have you considered that she might have the right approach here?"

And just as Kara faces that harsh decision at the end of S2 that she needs to give Mon-El up for the greater good, Mon-El faces an identical decision at the end of S3. And, just like Kara (who made a decision Superman himself says he couldn't have made, who is a true champion), Mon-El makes that hard call.

And just as Clark told Kara when she made that hard call that he was humbled by her, validating her admiration of him, Kara gives Mon-El her hero's blessing of his decision, too. Now, I don't think these writers are particularly clever or good at continuity :P But they use the word "admire" so consistently between Karamel that I have to believe it's a deliberate choice. Mon-El tells Kara throughout S2, as he's learning, how much he admires her. And his journey takes him to a place where Kara is able to return that word to him, sincerely and meaningfully.

"There wasn't much to inspire me on Daxam." "What about the prince?" "He wasn't worth admiring. But I wanna be."

"I mean, you do that every day. I don't even understand it. You make it look so easy, to do the right thing that you wouldn't even guess that it's that hard. But it's hard. You sacrifice a lot for everyone else and I know I'm beginning to sound like a broken record here but I admire you."

"You wouldn't be the man you are, if you did. The man I admire so much."

(Tacking on to this because there’s plenty of other things to read and link to here - there was an excellent discussion we had a long time ago about Kara’s emotions and reactions during this scene where @emarasmoak and @i-am-aci01 had some great catches)

The other thing that strikes me as a parallel between Kara and Mon-El in those two season finales is the dissonance between the two of them, who have made the hard, heroic choices, and everyone else.

At the end of S2, everyone seems happy except Kara, who proceeds to isolate herself. Alex and Maggie get engaged. J'onn and M'gann are (temporarily) together. Winn and James are currently successful in their vigilante superhero forays. Clark goes home to Lois.

And at the end of S3? Mostly, our characters are happy. Kara says she's decided where her true home is, but knows her mother is safe. Winn is setting off to the future, where he knows he's important and needed. Imra has her sister back. Alex has her new role and plans to pursue parenthood. J'onn has lost his father, but is setting off on his new path. James reveals himself as Guardian. And Mon-El makes a decision out of duty that guts him. @sweeter-than put it very well: "Everyone else in this episode got an optimistic season’s end coda. Meanwhile, Mon-El is leaving the love of his life to go fight a dangerous war. ... [He] is the only character framed as being separated from his ideal destiny, where the destiny and the obligation have no middle ground."

Now we've talked about what this show wanted to tell us here. Are they saying you can't have it all - which, in Kara's case, is an inherently more complicated discussion because she's a woman? That heroes are always doomed to sacrifice? That work-life balance is a joke?

I think what's MORE IMPORTANT though, and the real message, is what Cat tells Kara (and hell, the title of the S2 finale itself). It applies in both cases. It really applies.

"You, my dear, are on a hero's journey. And yes, you have hit an obstacle, but you will soar right over it."

That's the message.

MOVING ON!

.....

I think that applying that statement to Mon-El is part of why I feel so strongly that his story isn't over yet. Because he's on a hero's journey. The story the show was telling with this character was someone evolving into a hero, someone who is a sympathetic character, someone we're supposed to root for. And how could the final picture of him we have at the moment, where he's so sad and so weighted down, be our final picture of that character? Yeah, the innermost cave, belly of the whale, whatever you want to call it, is part of the hero's journey. But just as Kara goes into those depths and then emerges to find triumph and happiness again, I have to believe they're not going to leave another character they spent so much time investing in that unhappy. We're going to see him again, and they'll give him a happy ending. Or, if they can't work out another appearance for him, because we're talking about real people with a lot of moving parts, we'll get some sort of confirmation he's happy (more on that in a second). They're not going to leave him at loose ends if they can help it.

Now when I talk about them investing in the character - think not just about the storytelling, with this slow burn they had going with Karamel throughout S3, but about the level of promotion during that season, especially the back half. They had Mon-El in the CW midseason sizzle reel, and in a number of promotional posters/photos. They built up to the red-and-blue suit SO MUCH, and why do all of that if it was something you were only going to use for a literal handful of episodes? Some of those pieces of evidence, plus the slow burn/abrupt shift storytelling, plus how open-ended they left things with the relationship, makes me call TOTAL BS on the "it was always a two-season arc thing," and makes me keep believing Karamel is still endgame.

IMHO, Karamel has always been written with that endgame-ish type of storytelling - enemies-to-lovers trope, true love's kiss, spending so much time re-building the relationship between them, etc, etc, etc. You all know what I'm talking about. ((And please note, even though this could be another essay entirely, just because I think they're endgame doesn't mean I think neither character should ever be in another relationship again. I think you LEARN things from every relationship you're in, and Mon-El and Kara were both relatively inexperienced relationship-wise when they got together - Mon-El came from a planet of hedonists where he had flings, not relationships, and Kara had crushes that she couldn't really act on because broken noses, amirite? There were things I genuinely loved about Mon-El and Imra. And I'm not freaked about the possibility of a midgame LI for Kara - it wouldn't lessen my feelings about this being endgame))

Anyway - the story they were telling throughout S3 pointed to Karamel reuniting. They really dialed it up through the final episodes with the robot-cockblocked conversation on Argo (actually everything on Argo - Mon-El with the kid and Kara's heart eyes, the double date, etc, etc, etc), Mon-El pulling out the necklace at opportune moments to remind the viewers he never forgot her, Kara’s multiple conversations with Alura about him (there’s a cut scene from the finale, as well, where Alura tells her that love stories are never simple), Mon-El’s conversation with Winn about not being able to lose her again. They point at it, and then do an abrupt about-face in the finale. I really think that they were heading toward a reunion. We’ll never know exactly what happened behind the scenes, and I know people have different theories, but my gut feeling is that they were discussing behind the scenes whether or not Chris would be back for S4, the writers headed toward their planned ending (a Karamel reunion and a relationship in S4) while hedging their bets with the slow burn, and Chris ultimately made the decision to leave late in the game, and so the writers threw the switch in the finale.

Again, this is entirely me speculating, but I think that Chris made the call to leave not only because he's a multifaceted person who had other behind-the-scenes things he wanted to pursue in the field, but because he walks the walk with his own mental health, and we all know there is a LOT of bullshit that flies around with this show on social media, etc. I'm reading a LOT between the lines here, but the S3 finale aired on June 18, 2018, so I'm assuming they were doing some editing and locking down of the things in May. Chris posted this the first week of May 2019. Excerpts -

"Well look at that: it’s Mental Health Month again! And what interesting timing for me, personally… let’s talk about it. This year has tested me in so many ways." "And while you’re at it, use this occasional toxic and negative platform for something positive and good." "Sending love and kindness to everyone, even the trolliest of trolls out there."

BUT ANYWAY.

Faced with the resources they had and the information they had, the writers still chose to leave things SO OPEN between Karamel. The original draft of the finale - which was shared by @emarasmoak + @snarkymonel ages ago, had a line from Mon-El, “Part of me will always mourn that our paths did not align … But I will always cherish knowing you.” That, to me, suggests a much more FINAL goodbye - and that line was cut, in favor of what we got - where there wasn't really a goodbye, because it might not be one. And the ring and the “In case you ever need me” is definitely a door left WIDE the hell open. The ring is a deus ex machina in case they ever want to use the character again.

My gut feeling - and again, with no inside information - is that Chris didn't want to be a regular anymore, for a number of reasons, but that he didn't leave on bad circumstances, and that he'd be happy to do a guest appearance because he wouldn't be walking into an ONGOING shitstorm (especially if it was something toward the end of the series run).

And regarding the other news we're starting to get about S5: I don't think the fact that Winn and Mon-El left together, and we've heard about Winn coming back but not Mon-El, means he WON'T be back. They could be dribbling out information a bit at a time to keep people interested as a marketing strategy - the Crisis crossover is the most ambitious thing they've EVER done, and you know they'll want to keep ramping up the excitement up all the way from now until December. They could have finished negotiating with Jeremy first while they're still working on Chris for that, or for another event down the line. Supergirl has a lot of "big event" potential coming up, between the crossover, the milestone 100th episode, Melissa's debut as a director, and they've got to be thinking ahead down the line to the eventual end of the series. All of those are things they'll want to really build up excitement for and maybe have some familiar faces around for.

I DO believe that Winn's appearance will tell us something about if, or how, they intend to use Mon-El again at any point, however. Look, the two of them are close. I wasn't that cranky when Brainy didn't mention Mon-El much last season - I got the impression they were more coworkers than friends, things were tense between them for a solid chunk of time over Brainy's role in Imra's secret plan, and then there was some SERIOUS snark thrown between them in the S3 finale in a cut scene (as for Brainy's one mention of Mon-El and his comment about "microagressions," we all dissected that here). I will be cranky if Winn, who has always been a close friend to Mon-El and is coming directly back to the story from working with Mon-El, doesn't mention him. But again, I think that mention will tell us a lot about the future of the character. He could tell the Superfriends (and thus, the audience) that Mon-El has reconciled with Imra, or has moved on to someone else (side note - in the comic canon, Mon-El's pet name for ShadowLass is "Shady" and I think that's adorable). He could even have some sort of tragic news about him, which seems less probable to me, because why go through the trouble of bringing him back from the dead in the S3 finale and then leaving things so open-ended if you were going to kill him offscreen? On the other hand, if Winn tells Kara Mon-El says hey, or he misses you (she misses him too!) or if they have some sort of heartfelt conversation about him, then that's obviously a positive sign.

I mean, who am I kidding, I have epic trust issues from their bait-and-switch with this story and I don’t trust any of the writers/showrunners as far as I can throw them and I am about three inches from FLIPPING OUT over this entire situation :P But I don’t feel so bad after some deep analysis.

#mon-el #mon-el defense squad #otp: comets #karamel #chris wood #supergirl #supergirl speculation #and all that jazz

[wellamarke]

i finally saw stranger things 3 and i have thoughts that i will break down by character ((they are not very deep thoughts, they are mostly love)) 

first, the kids

1. my beautiful son, will byers, for once did not have a hell ride of a season and got to smile a couple times. he took a bit of a back seat really, and i feel sorry for noah schnapp for all the ‘neck scratching’ memes he’ll be buried in now that it was basically his signature move for 8 episodes (and not even a particularly useful one) but anyway... the destruction of castle byers was one of the most heartbreaking scenes and i would have liked to see more fallout from it, but we can’t have everything. mike’s ‘it’s not my fault you don’t like girls’ line? eiiiish can we get some follow up in s4 please. (it might not be your fault mike but you’re involved lmao) so anyway. glad will got a breather season, but man when he was crying so much in the goodbye scene, i felt that. could not cope. 

2. lucas!!!!!!!! my treasured son!!!! i love him so much. he was such a hero this season! he is always down to fight with his catapult and i adore him. i love what a terrible casanova he makes. i wish there had been some kind of glimpse of him looking after max after she watched her brother die, because that’s a complicated thing for those two. but s4 awaits. i would love to see lucas take a more central role in s4, incidentally. in terms of the boys, s1 was mike’s time to shine, s2 was will’s, s3 was arguably dustin since he got the most time away from the group? s4 lucas please and thank you 

3. my angel daughter max, i love her, she’s so brave and brilliant, and she is such a good friend to el, and although billy-as-he-was didn’t deserve her, she was a good sister, too. i worry about her a lot. lucas and max better be the front and centre couple of s4, i swear. it’s their time. let them. i guess i was a little confused at first at how much max’s style changed between seasons, but i support her always, and her clothes now are so happy and cute. she’s adorable. now somebody please make sure she’s alright. where is her mom 

4. dustin, light of my life, he is a good child and i am proud of him! i have always related to dustin’s position in the friend group lmao so to see him off with his own little crew was very adorable. i love him as both steve and robin’s child and steve and robin’s parent. he is so resourceful and i love that they finally utilised gaten’s angel voice! i was so glad suzie turned out to be real and plot-relevant (kinda), please can she come for a visit in s4? thank you. 

5. eleven, my daughter, my small small child, she broke my heart so much this season and i am so proud of her for finding herself. her s4 arc of regaining her powers will be very interesting and i’m excited for her and joyce’s relationship to be developed more, because i love them both. i really appreciated them going for the angle of ‘eleven needs to exist outside of mike’, partly because the way they were behaving at the beginning of the season did seem to make sense for kids their age with a connection like theirs, and it is healthier for them to.... not. at least sometimes. el is so hardcore, i love how her dialogue is still written a little stilted while still letting her express herself. she had so many iconic lines. i can’t believe they took hop away from her. also i’m a little disappointed (but not surprised) that there was no kali.

6. mike, my child, my gangly and adorable son, he was a joy this season (even when he was whinging). you know what killed me? how TALL he was when he hugged his mother at the end, especially compared to the s1 scene after will’s “body” is found. logically i know that these are actors who are growing up but it feels like an assault every time they flashback to their tiny s1 selves, and mike is just a giant now. bless him. he is a good boy who is trying his best. i don’t really understand why he didn’t tell el what hopper had said much earlier, but he’s a silly teenage boy, so, you know. it’s like that. 

7. erica my precious daughter, oh my goodness, i enjoyed her immensely. i’m so glad she’s properly part of the crew and is beginning to embrace the nerdy part of herself. icon. priah ferguson is an entire gemstone. when nancy etc graduate to the adult storylines and mike and co are the resident teens, erica will be the lynchpin of the new generation and i couldn’t be happier about that. 

now, the teens

1. nancy was so iconic this year, DAMN. this girl never rests and i love her. i’m glad the romantic drama was minimised, just enough to keep them interesting but not so you really worried she was going to pingpong back to steve or anything silly like that. nancy is such a role model truly. she’s so brave. my life, when billy’s car was hurtling towards her and she just stayed shooting. that’s my girl. (also, she’s so gorgeous. i feel like 80s fashion happened mainly so that natalia dyer could recreate it)

2. STEVE my sweet sweet son. again, an icon. i can’t believe they actually kept him in that sailor suit the whole season. what a national treasure. when he slammed billy’s car! i cheered. i’m very proud of the person he has become and his friendship with robin is just adorable. so glad that they will be able to discuss pretty girls together now that they work at the arcade. also, maybe he could make it to the end of s4 without cutting up his face, but that’s probably too much to ask, isn’t it? 

3. robin is my entire heart, i can’t even express how much i love this girl. she’s so clever and brave and wonderful and i can’t wait for her and will to share a scene (because cOME ON the solidarity!!!). i love her sarcasm and wit, and how she just jumps into the madness and gets stuff done. a queen. welcome to the family, robin. 

4. jonathan my boyyyyy, he was lovely this season, i was so proud of him when he took the situation in hand with el’s injury (even if she ended up doing the surgery herself!) i am excited for him to be el’s big brother as well as will’s (side note: el and will are sure to be the cutest siblings) and hopefully he and nancy can continue to navigate the stormy sea of being the teen flagship without too much on-again-off-again. we get it, they’re meant for each other. loved their moment with the scar at the end. 

5. oh, billy. i will admit, i felt bad for him a couple of times, and he certainly suffered enough, not that his treatment of lucas in s2 will ever be excused. dacre montgomery really gives the most, which makes billy weirdly watchable. i will never understand why they chose to bring back the karen wheeler stuff, brrrrrrr, but, yeah. i’m glad they didn’t exactly “redeem” him, but managed to kill him off while still adding depth. (he tried to save el and good on him for that, but in the end it was joyce who stopped the mindflayer, so). 

aaand the adults!

1. murray was a complete delight, and i was thrilled to have him along for the ride. i’m heartbroken that murray/alexei will not rise, because that had potential.

2. joyce was wonderful and hilarious and brave and heartbreaking and perfect, of course. i can’t believe they’ve now killed off BOTH her love interests (as far as she knows, anyway). that poor woman. i hope she can continue in her role of best mother ever, now that she has an extra traumatised child on her hands. joyce is the true mvp. the moral strength that woman has. the brains. the curiosity. she’s a way of life. 

3. hopper, where do i start. i actually didn’t like him much at the start of the season. i get that he hasn’t had a teenager before, but he seemed to take a little too much delight in petrifying mike, especially since he knew how much it would genuinely hurt el. that seemed a bit extreme for the sake of not wanting to give a corny speech. but anyway. this man is a true trooper. so many fight scenes. and we’re supposed to assume he’s not actually dead, right? the post-credits scene in russia was almost entirely pointless (big deal, they got a demogorgon) apart from the line, ‘no, not the american’... i mean, surely that’s hopper? surely? murray is unaccounted for in the time jump, i suppose, but no way he was captured and not joyce. both or neither. man, imagine the reunion with el and joyce, if hopper really isn’t dead. i’m going with he’s not dead. we never saw any remains. kudos for still making his apparent demise pack a whole punch, though. that letter destroyed me. 

other things:

1. the turning-people-into-goo stuff was so horrifying, how do you even go about creating those visuals 

2. some of the fight scenes i kind of let happen without really watching, and just came back to see who was still upright by the end, how do people watch this stuff

3. joyce didn’t decorate her house :( in fact the magnets undecorated themselves, as a forerunner to the entire house being stripped.... wow....

4. mr clarke is an absolute beaut and i love the way he was used (although it was strange not to have dustin included!)

5. i love love love how this show operates, with different teams finding different parts of the mystery and piecing it together under fire. i love how none of them ever go, “hey, we should tell the other people who are usually involved in this stuff, chances are they’ve got themselves into it this time around.” 

6. the byers’ dog is still unaccounted for 

#stranger things #stranger things spoilers #mileven #lumax #jancy #jopper

[xtremedespair3d]

My 10 Year Journey

It’s here. The end of the 2010 decade is finally here and now we’re finally gonna enter the 2020 decade! Although technically the decade won’t start until 2021, but who really cares? I’ve seen people hyping “Best things of the decade” and whatnot, so it still counts.

This post isn’t just going to be a 2019 year review with what to expect in 2020, the year and the decade, but I’m also telling a bit of my life over the last 10 years, though I may vaguely remember what happened, so this is going to be my longest post yet.

Also, this is going to be my final post I’m going to publish in Tumblr, I’m quitting for good. You’ll find out why when you read this post.

First, let’s start off with my usual Top 10 (and 20) lists of everything that happened this year:

Top 20 Best Anime:

20.- Virtual-san wa Miteiru

19.- Kaguya-sama: To be honest, I wasn’t quite impressed with Kaguya-sama, I didn’t like it as much as everyone else but I did like parts of it. And I of course agree that Chika is best girl. Maybe season 2 could help me change my mind.

18.- Fire Force

17.- Watanuki-san Chi No: This one’s more calssified as a dorama instead of an anime like Virtual-san wa Miteiru but whatever. With this and Virtual-san wa Miteiru, I’m still optimistic about the future of VTuber anime because I want to see more.

16-  Dumbbell Nan Kilomoteru: I really need to go to the gym again or try to practice the home exercices as shown in the series.

15.- Tokunana

14.- Fate/Grand Order Babylonia

13.- Lord El-Melloi II Case Files

12.- Ikki Tousen: Western Wolves

11.- BanG Dream! S2

10.- Quintessential Quintuplets

9.- The Promised Neverland

8.- Rising of Shield Hero

7.- Isekai Quartet

6.- Bungou Stray Dogs S3

5.- W’z: Yes, regardless of the hideous visuals GoHands has somehow fallen to grace, I really liked it so much that it helped redeem myself on Hand Shakers as a franchise because of its story.

4.- Girls’ Frontline Healing Chapter

3.- Fruits Basket

2.- Mob Psycho 100 II: Mob Psycho 100 is in a better hands than One-Punch Man has. No studio changes bound and Bones continues to deliver amazing animation that exceeds ONE’s art.

1-C.- Azur Lane: The Animation

1-B.- Kemurikusa

1-A.- Kimetsu no Yaiba: Ufotable wins for the second time in a row since 2018′s Emiya-san Chi no Kyou no Gohan series with this year’s Kimetsu no Yaiba!

All of the praise there’s been towards Ufotable with Kimetsu no Yaiba just make their other works (aside from Fate) otherwise forgettable (which is sad and I shouldn’t say that because I’m a Ufotable stan).

But, that’s not the end of the journey, there’s a film based on the Infinite Train arc happening and, surprisingly, it’s actually happening! It’s not a vaporware like the Katsugeki Touken Ranbu film or even Girls’ Work!

I’m still worried about Ufotable’s future given the tax fraud investigation, but whatever the case, I hope they can manage to clear things out and still running with marvelous projects, whatever they have in store (and literally in the shelf with the aforementioned Katsugeki Touken Ranbu film and Girls’ Work)

I had entries #1A to #3 and #20 figured out, but good lord! Figuring out what should #4 to #19 be! It took me forever!

Honorable mentions:

-Attack on Titan S3 - Part 2

-High Score Girl II

-Kakegurui XX

-Danmachi S3

-Manaria Friends

-Lupin III OVAs

-Welcome to Japari Park: This is a 2018 series but it has kept me on high spirit than Kemono Friends 2 ever has, it has given me depression instead. However, that doesn’t mean it tops the original Kemono Friends, this remains like my #2 favorite Kemono Friends anime. By the way, I didn’t know it was a two-cour series which the series got really interesting by the second-cour.

I really hope there’s another season, that teaser at the final episode has so much potential for them to not make any more Welcome to Japari Park!

UPDATE - February 1st 2020: As of the editing of this post, there’s still no season 2 to be found, or worse yet, I think it might not even be made at all. Well, it was quite a ride. F.

Top 6 Worst Anime:

6.- W’z

5.- Virtual-san wa Miteiru

Yes, I know I already had put W’z and Virtual-san wa Miteiru in my Top 20 Best Anime category, I had to include them as the worst because not only sometimes I do feel they’re kind of bad in their right with their visuals, but I’m mainly doing it for the sake of not looking like a lunatic. But there are 4 other anime that definitely need some of their own commentary.

4.- Mini Toji: Speaking of the Toji no Miko franchise, I heard that there’s gonna be an OVA based on the mobile game and my god, I really wish Toji no Miko can just die already.

(To be honest, I don’t know why I’ve grown to hate Toji no Miko if there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just an instinct or something like “I don’t like your guts”.)

3.- Granblue Fantasy The Animation season 2

2.- Miru Tights: I really wanted to like Miru Tights because it’s Yomu anime, but the show itself was pretty boring and tries to push the tights fetish so far that completely turns me off, but the worst thing yet is that TRUSS (The studio that made the series) privatized every episode as weeks went by! I thought watching the series on YouTube with English and Chinese/Taiwanese subtitles was a great accessibility for everyone to watch it! I thought they were considerate to do that but I have to take that statement back on having every episode privatized.

This is why I absolutely prefer stockings/knee-highs over tights/pantyhose, I love me that absolute territory so much.

1.- Kemono Friends 2 and One-Punch Man 2: That’s right, a tie between these two.

With One-Punch Man 2, the visuals are a major disaster and it nowhere near follows the heart from the original by Madhouse despite having some decent sakuga moments but still tries really hard and gets ruined with motion blur. Story is relatively faithful to the manga (because I do read it, unlike you RedMakuzawa), but it just wasn’t told properly with its horrendous animation.

I’m glad that pretty much everyone is saying that One-Punch Man 2 was a disappointment.

Kemono Friends 2 is obviously the biggest thing I truly hated the most this entire year. I never asked for a completely new storyline that won’t even follow the teaser from the first season’s ending, I never asked for a completely new human character to take Kaban’s spot as the main character (I’m happy that Kaban is still here but I’m not happy with her role), I never asked for Kemono Friends 2 to exist at all!

Although, come to think of it, there were like quite a lot of good moments, but most of the time, I couldn’t care less for certain characters like Kaban and Caracal and this entire recycled plotline, not to mention the occasionally inconsistent framerates in the animation too.

Both were destined to become my worst anime of the year, no thanks to studio changes.

Top 10 Best Movies:

10.- Captain Marvel: Let’s start with a little controversial. As a Marvel fanboy, I just tend to watch every MCU movie because of the story, regardless of quality and whatever, and I’m pretty sad that pretty much everyone hates it, even my older sister. At least there’s two friends I know who did like the film and it helps make me feel better.

9.- Once Upon a Deadpool: This is a 2018 release but I happened to watch it on January 2019, so I had to include this here. Yes, it’s Deadpool 2 but with the gore and profanity cut off, but it was worth rewatching the film even toned down.

Except I wasn’t prepared for the Stan Lee parts. ;_;

8.- X-Men: Dark Phoenix: I did enjoy the film, flawed (?) for sure but it wasn’t objectively bad. The way I think it’s flawed it’s because it just made me ask a lot of questions and lacks context about who the villains are, are they Skrulls or not?

(Wow, three Marvel movies in a row.)

7.- Detective Pikachu: So I’m not a big Pokemon person, but I’m sure this year was pretty much Pokemon year, from Sword & Shield, Ash finally winning a Pokemon championship and new anime series, and of course, Detective Pikachu.

This was quite a very good video game movie with appealing realistic Pokemon, albeit the pace was a little too fast.

With that said about how the Pokemon look, I think I’m definitely gonna see the Sonic movie. I’m pretty sure it’s not gonna be as great as Detective Pikachu in terms of story, but at least seeing Sonic’s new design is something.(We do not talk about Sonic’s old design)

6.- IT Chapter Two: There’s really nothing wrong with the film. It’s just as good and keeps up the same pace as the first film!

5.- John Wick 3

4.- Shazam: DC has been quite in a roll this year since Aquaman, things just gets better with Shazam and Joker (although Joker is its own self-contained universe and Shazam is DCEU). I nearly cried on the part where Billy’s adopted family turned into the Shazam family! Quite some comic book inspirations!

3.- Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel II. lost butterfly: This was truly the most chill anime movie experience I’ve ever had in the cinema. Code Geass: Lelouch of the Resurrection was also a decently chill but at times people did yell but not super loudly compared to the other films I’ve seen.

The worst part about my experience is that I was literally dying from the very second half of film! My god, I’m definitely not drinking a lot of soda very often, I even went to the bathroom earlier. I’m blaming it on the Takis popcorn we always eat!

With that being said about the crowd in my cinema, I actually wanted to get a very lousy crowd because I started audio recording my phone so I can share to people how annoying Mexican weebs in my cinema can be, especially at that Shirou x Sakura scene, but it turns out there wasn’t a whole lot of people and the theater was in absolute peace, so I pretty much recorded the entire film in audio.

Anyways, the film itself was still pretty nice, can’t wait for the third part and at this point, I probably shouldn’t be begging for Konnichiwa (the distributor) to bring it, I’m pretty sure they’ll definitely will given that they released the first two films so far.

2.- Godzilla: King of the Monsters

1-C.- Spider-Man: Far From Home: I really quite loved Spider-Man: Far From Home and because I’m heavily biased to Spider-Man films and MCU films for this to become either second next to Avengers: Endgame, the next film just took its place for a good reason.

1-B.- Joker: This was an absolute masterpiece of a movie I’ve ever seen in my birthday! The Murray Franklin interview scene is my favorite scene in the entire film because the Joker monologue where he talks about the three subway dudes he killed and society in general just really speaks to me, it sounds similar on my existential crisis rant I fussed over on Discord servers EARLIER.

Venom was also a good birthday movie I got last year, though it came out a day later and I’m kinda sad, but Joker, since it came out exactly on my birthday, is definitely a gift I wholeheartedly deserved it! I want my movies to be released right on time! I also need more villain movies in my birthday in my life! (Though it depends which character because I’m sure I won’t be as convinced as Venom and Joker)

However, even if it was one of the best birthday gifts I’ve had in my birthday, I DID NOT let Joker to dethrone this next film...

1-A.- Avengers: Endgame: My #1 most anticipated movie of the whole year finally arrived and the one I seriously did not let this film get dethroned like last year with Spider-Verse over Infinity War! Wouldn’t you know it, this film literally brought me into absolute tears, hit me in the feels, EVERYTHING!!!

The way the film was marketed, the secrecy behind it and everything, and while the film delivered, all that stuff we previously believed has all been a lie and it was quite a surprise! They did not mess around with how important this film was going to be!

But alas, there’s still those ungrateful bastards who just ruin the film with things they say they don’t like or whatever! LIKE, SERIOUSLY, COME ON! YOU DO NOT TALK SHIT TO A MOVIE LIKE AVENGERS: ENDGAME, EVER!!! I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF CAPTAIN MARVEL IS FORCED AND BARELY HAS ANY SCREENTIME OR WHATEVER, JUST APPRECIATE THE FILM FOR WHAT IT IS, THE PURPOSE, AND EVERYTHING!!! LEARN TO BE GRATEFUL!!!

Ugh, whatever. At least I didn’t hear that many complaints that left me a sour taste anyways.

Marvel just went so far with rereleasing Avengers: Endgame but with extra minutes of footage with cut content! That really sounds amazing, and it gets better when it was a worldwide release, including Mexico! Although... I really would have loved to rewatch the movie, but the schedule turned out to be at 9 PM, so for 3 hours, I would have gone around 12:30 or 1 AM and that’s a big no-no, I would have been killed. I also wanted to see it with my older sister but she was hospitalized at the time, and we couldn’t anyways because of the late ass schedule, so we had to wait until Spider-Man: Far From Home instead.

I don’t really care if those extra minutes are rough unfinished CG stuff that we can just see from the Blu-Ray (which I’ll never get), I just wanted to rewatch everything in the cinema, but I couldn’t because of the ridiculous schedule my cinema chose.

The moment Captain America said “Avengers... Assemble!”, I literally started bursting into tears, and so were the crowd being hype as fuck! My god, what else can make me cry from something this hype?!

There’s just a lot of stuff I want to discuss about Avengers: Endgame but I really can’t just process it! This was my absolute #1 favorite movie of the year and I definitely did not let any other film dethrone it! I love it 3000!

Honorable mentions:

Toy Story 4: I enjoyed the film regardless of everyone saying “Toy Story 3 should have been the final movie for good and this is just a cashgrab” or whatever, thankfully I didn’t cry at the ending, but I’m sad that my older sister didn’t like it for some reason.

Promare: I’m seriously disappointed that Promare didn’t come out in Mexico while America were seeing the film. I’ve been seeing fan arts galore and maybe a bit of spoilers, though I’m kind of in the dark about it. I really hope Promare comes out in Mexico next week! Just as long as the crowd isn’t absolutely noisy, though I had such experiences before, but I heard that America is much worse on noisy people in the theaters when the film was rerun a couple of times, jesus...

Top 10 Best Games:

This might be my most controversial category yet because I literally haven’t played any single of these games (except for two) and I’m heavily biased towards franchise I care the most, developer(s) I care the most, aesthetic, etc., not so much about quality and most importantly, experience by having played them at all. But even so, I want to congratulate them by their existence.

10.- Persona 5 Royal: As much as I like Persona 5 from how it is, the aesthetic and everything (I haven’t played it myself, I’ve seen my older sister play it), but it has turned somewhat of a controversial topic for me, because literally everyone I know has quite some harsh feelings on the game and it just affects me so much given how much praise I have seen, so I kind of walk away from P5 nowadays.

But now, there’s Persona 5 Royal! Not only has some cool new content, but I hope it improves some issues the vanilla version has left behind!

(I only want the new content, to be honest)

I wonder if Persona 4 had this kind of similar backlash, because I see Persona 4 Golden in a different light where it just simply adds new stuff and not try to fix the issues from the vanilla version (it does but it’s not how I see it)

9.- Kingdom Hearts 3: I’m not a Kingdom Hearts person but I’m happy that the long awaited KH3 is finally out, although it might be quite divisive because of the story and its issues, but it seems like ReMind is going to fix these issues.

8.- Pokemon Sword & Shield

7.- Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3

6.- Fire Emblem Three Houses.

5.- Untitled Goose Game: HONK!

4.- God Eater 3: I wanted to tie GE3 with Code Vein, but I was eager for Code Vein the most than God Eater 3 and I haven’t seen much of it honestly, but I’m still including it here because I like the God Eater franchise but I’m not quite an avid fan, at least until I play GE2 and of course GE3. I just need to grow some interest with God Eater some more because I really like the post-apocalyptic aesthetic and everything.

3.- Azur Lane: Crosswave

2.- Resident Evil 2 Remake: Capcom’s redemption arc continues! And with its success, it’s even lead to the development of Resident Evil 3 Remake which it’s gonna come out next year, and I’m surprised that they’re working on it already.

1-D.- Code Vein: I’ve become quite furious when the reviews for it came out. The Metacritic shows that the game is average at best and people be like “This is garbage, I’m out” and my god, I’m seriously frustrated with all that shit. I waited for a fucking year and I don’t want to get disencouraged when I’ll ever have the chance to play it.

But thankfully it didn’t stop me from seeing people playing the game and it makes me more than happy that they do.

I had to go so far on spoiling myself and... what I heard was one of the best things ever, which I’m probably not gonna spoil for you.

1-C.- Astral Chain

1-B.- Devil May Cry 5/Travis Strikes Again: I have to make this a tie for two reasons, they’re my biggest franchises in my life, but they have differing levels of my personal importance.

With Devil May Cry 5, I never thought the good DMC will ever come back, after having to suffer through DmC, there was also DMC4: Special Edition released in 2015, but that’s kind of whatever, but then, shit just got real when it was revealed in E3 2018!

Anyways, let’s talk about post-release, the story is absolutely nice, they went with throwing a bit of throwbacks and it just screams everything absolutely worthy for answers and pay-offs, though the ending feels kind of inconclusive, seems kind of they’re going to be open with maybe a Special Edition of DMC5 or even DMC6, but who knows, but then hopes get ruined as Capcom announced they were done with the development of DMC5 after the Bloody Palace release, which means no more Vergil, Trish and Lady DLCs, which it’s utterly disappointing! (But will there still be a Special Edition? It took 7 years for DMC4 to get one (2008-2015))

One other problem I have with DMC5 is that Capcom might have done a very poor job on keeping Vergil a very big secret. I think it was already known that Vergil might have going to appear in DMC5 for so long, from Dan Southworth’s (Vergil’s VA) Facebook post with the #DMC hashtag, from people editing Urizen’s voice and they found a match on Dan’s Vergil voice, to Capcom outright releasing a spoiler trailer! Sure, people sure want to avoid that trailer, but really? Weren’t they supposed to treat Vergil like he was a really huge deal for the game that’s not worth spoiling at all?

Also, the game continues to be extremely stressful with the harder difficulties, but since I have played DMC3 a long time ago, my skills haven’t gone out of practice!... Mostly.

Now, let’s talk about Travis Strikes Again. The moment it was announced on the Nintendo Switch event in January 2017, I literally started bursting into tears and yelled out loud! Later in August, at PAX, a new trailer was revealed and even if it was a teaser CG video (it’s the first game’s opening post-release) and my god, it looked gorgeous. Then things started to get sour as Atkin Downes tweeted that he was “disappointed”, that he wasn’t brought back to voice Travis or something, and I was utterly disappointed, but things changed when in December, it turns out that Robin Atkin Downes was returning to voice Travis, not only him but the original voices for Shinobu and Bad Girl are returning as well, my hope was restored! (Though I was already gonna see how the game would turn out regardless)

The game came out and at first, I saw seeing Grasshopper‘s Twitter account retweeting positive reviews from lesser known articles, which I was good at first, but then someone posted the Metacritic where it has mixed reviews, like at 70 something (under 75) and I was kinda sad.

Some people may say that the game is a disappointment and the gameplay is repetitive, and boy, I don’t give a SHIT about what these fuckheads (see what I did there?) say about the game. Though I still have yet to experience the gameplay myself (chances are that I wouldnt really find it repetitive. Pretty much every game is. Uh, hot take), but when I watched walkthrough videos of the entire game, the Travis Strikes Back segments (a visual novel-inspired segment) are what brought me ABSOLUTE HOPE for the game overall, the story pretty much has! The lore and everything that explains what happened a little with Travis’s disappearance from Santa Destroy, he’s even got kids with Sylvia, Badman’s origin story from Badman Strikes Back from the DLC, EVEN THE EASTER EGGS LIKE FUCKING MONDO ZAPPA FROM KILLER IS DEAD, ALL THE EFFORTS SUDA PUT INTO THIS IS JUST AN ABSOLUTE LOVE LETTER FOR ME AS A NO MORE HEROES FAN (And for general Suda fans too, though I’m not the most hardcore Suda fan as I haven’t played The Silver Case and other games to understand the references).

The second patch of the game came and there’s a brand new opening featuring Killer7! And this just changes the No More Heroes Universe, no, the Sudaverse!

My god, there’s a lot of stuff I want to say but can’t process, but let me just say this: Even if you didn’t like the game, or you find it disappointing, you’re wrong! The story and the lore should be the biggest redeeming factor of Travis Strikes Again!

Just when I thought I want to get a Switch to play Travis Strikes Again, a few months later, a rerelease of the game with all of the DLC for PS4 and Steam came out in October and oh boy, that gives me a huge opportunity to play the game, either on my shitty ass laptop or in my PS4 (which I finally got it after so long and I’ll later explain why)! I really hope it goes the same for No More Heroes 3--WHICH BY THE WAY, there was a bit of problem around Travis Strikes Again where people thought NMH3 was going to be sequel bait when Suda said that if TSA sold well, the development for NMH3 would start, but I didn’t care if it was a problem or sequel-bait or not, I just wanted people to buy this game as much as possible, especially when the post-credits scene straightup teased NMH3!

One other thing I find it weird about TSA’s existence, is that Suda says that this isn’t much of a numbered sequel or a spin-off, I don’t really get what Suda means on what TSA is, but I’m still treating it as a sequel storywise, considering that NMH3 takes place after TSA. The post-credits scene definitely doesn’t mess around!

Then E3 2019 came and... NO MORE HEROES 3 IS A REALITY! IT’S DEFINITELY HAPPENING AFTER 9/10 YEARS!!! I’M REALLY GLAD TRAVIS STRIKES AGAIN GOT SOLD WELL ENOUGH TO MAKE NMH3 HAPPEN, AAAAAAA, I’M SO HAPPY!!!!! I NEED A SWITCH TOO!!! THOUGH I DO WISH THE GAME WILL COME OUT ON PS4 TOO, BUT AT THE MOMENT, I WANT TO GET A SWITCH FOR NMH3!!!!

Anyways, I’m done discussing Travis Strikes Again.

I put these two games as a tie for big reasons: They’re both my favorite franchises I hold dear the most (though I absolutely hold NMH at the very bottom of my heart more than DMC), both games are fighting between their pros and cons, one I definitely have played (DMC5) and one I haven’t (TSA)...

Let me point out their pros and cons real quick:

Devil May Cry 5:

Pros:

Amazing gameplay and graphics.

Amazing soundtrack.

Amazing story with neat throwbacks.

Cons:

Development finished, so don’t expect any more DLC.

Travis Strikes Again:

Pros:

Story that’s a much bigger love letter, helps explain what happened to certain characters after NMH2, etc. And even features Suda51 easter eggs.

Two DLC expansions than DMC5 will ever have.

Cons:

Kind of whatever gameplay. (for other people, not for me)

I do think Travis Strikes Again is much better in terms of content than DMC5 but it’s kind of a debate. They’re still amazing games regardless!

1-A.- Death Stranding: A Hideo Kojima Game = Instant #1 winner. And perhaps this is the most surprisingly divisive Kojima game I’ve ever seen in my life (Perhaps more or less divisive than Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain), at least with the reviews alone (At least in America, Europe and Japan have 9s, 10/10s), that doesn’t stop from seeing quite some cultural impact already, memes, fan arts and stuff.

I’m disappointed that it didn’t win Game of the Year in The Game Awards because obviously it’s such a big game, though not everyone really cares and it makes me sad, at least it’s still won some awards and won GOTY in other not-so relevant award shows.

The game is pretty much filled with an excellent gameplay, with a bit of realism where you trip yourself with rocks and everything, the game is filled with quite some originality, the actors, easter eggs, pretty much the most ambitious Kojima game ever and I’m having a damn fun with it!

As of the writing on December 28th, the day before I just beat episodes 4 and started episode 5, so it seems like I’m still long ways off on finishing the rest of the game and I still haven’t finished through the story (which I don’t find it confusing, by the way).

Part of the gameplay definitely reminded me of Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, the controls and everything felt familiar and it was really neat, even if it’s something for a completely original IP, part of the gameplay was still familiar with some MGSV vibes.

For those of you who think that Death Stranding is a disappointment or whatever (looking at you WatchMojo and everyone else), you are absolutely dead wrong! I don’t know what kind of Kojima game you definitely expected to be so bad but turned out to be something else, just get out of here and try to focus on something else, maybe you’re better off with seeing Kojima things with Metal Gear! Death Stranding definitely isn’t for everyone alright, especially for assholes like you!

I definitely expected Death Stranding to come out on 2020, but I enver thought it might already come sooner in November 2019 (Although Kojima did tease it might come out in the “year of Akira” (being 2019), so I guess I should have seen that coming, I completely forgot about it). Kojima has come a really long way with making his new studio, hiring people, finding studios to cooperate and make Death Stranding, everything in just 4 years and it was amazing for him and his team to put all of their efforts when it comes to making this and the wait was definitely worth it!

Honorable mention:

Custom Order Maid 3D2 English version: I had played the Japanese version before and I see there was a trial version for the English version. I hadn’t really thought it was gonna be an actual thing until I started seeing a Custom Maid Twitter artist retweeting a tweet of a Japanese gaming news site that the page for Custom Order Maid 3D2 was live.

Things around the English version of the game are relatively fine, but that is until the CR shop maintenance, talks about how to improve it, and even considering outlandish requests people make which aren’t on the original Japanese version of the game, the kind of original content just screams a huge insult for the Japanese Custom Maid community. Shit gets worse when the people I have talk with can’t even access the Steam page!

With all of the content that’s way behind and everything, I decided to go back to playing the Japanese version (especially when I found a torrent of CM3D2 + COM3D2 with all of the DLC until Spring 2019 or something). Except that given that it has way too much content, it’s so fucking slow for my laptop. But at least I’ll use the JP version for making characters and screenshots and I’ll play the English version for the campaign.

Whatever brand new original items might end up being, I hope they might be interesting enough for me to start begging for them to come out on JP so hard.

Alright, here’s a non-biased GOTY list with new releases that I HAVE actually played and some older games too.

3.- English Custom Order Maid 3D2

2.- Death Stranding

1.- Devil May Cry 5

Honorable mentions (Older games):

Valve games: Half-Life, Portal and Left 4 Dead games.

VA-11 HALL-A: I’ll explain the story of how I came to play this game later down the line.

Saya no Uta: Steam release. I know I probably shouldn’t rely on official Steam releases and go for the fan made translations especially when they don’t have the adult content, but the thing is I didn’t have trouble buying the adult patch, and it was super cheap too. Besides, I don’t have any trouble with the translation so far, even if I don’t really speak Japanese, even if the little I know I definitely understand with the official English translation, so I’m not really dumb.

Melty-Blood: This is the first fighting game I have played for a bit in a long time when I’ve grown to be less of a fighting games person. I haven’t played the story campaign nor I would want to right now because I’m going to save it until I play Tsukihime just so I can understand some characters and other things.

There, you happy? (I’m definitely not using this non-biased list at all and honestly, it’s a hard tie between DMC5 and Death Stranding because I love these games right now)

Anyways...

Dishonorable mention:

Left Alive: I’m not really mad about how bad it is, but it sure looks quite unplayable. How did the developers even get away with making a broken game like this? The only things I can appreciate this game is how good it looks (at least on still), and of course the Yoji Shinkawa art.

Instead of doing a traditional review focusing on 2019 alone, I’m going to explain my journey I went through for the last 10 years, of course I’ll review the year 2019 in there, and after that, my resolutions and what awaits me in 2020. I may not remember everything, I only remember the biggest parts of my life.

Worst game:

YIIK: A Postmodern RPG: Every time I look at the game, mainly from the writing, I can’t help but think the game just gives me an existential crisis, because if I pull some shit like how they referenced a real life death of someone and among other ludicrous things, I think I’m definitely walking away from joining the industry and for my creativity to exist.

Bonus

Song of the year

“P.S. RED I” by TK from Ling Tosite Sigure: Spider-Verse was a 2018 film, but it didn’t release in Japan until March 2019 and what better way to promote the movie is having a kick-ass theme song by TK! Seriously, ever since I’ve been seeing the Japanese trailers and I heard a portion of the song, I was absolutely eager to check the full song, and once I started listening to it, I couldn’t stop listening non-stop! I’m not sure if it’s actually featured in the movie, but even if it’s not, at least this song is still something!

Ling Tosite Sigure (The entire band) also made another Spider-Man song this time for Spider-Man: Far From Home titled “Neighbormind”. With these two songs, I want TK/Ling Tosite Sigure to make Spider-Man songs forever!

Sorry, Devil Trigger, even if Devil May Cry 5 is a 2019 game, you already came out last year.

Artists of the year

(NSFW content warning)

Ogata Tei: I sure am super fixated on Ogata Tei’s Childhood Friend series because at the beginning of the year, I really couldn’t care much for his new works, but until Summer, my spirit has been lifted where Ogata is still delivering more of the series, not just once but twice in two Comikets in a row! I seriously can’t wait for more Childhood Friend series to come out and buy every single one of the doujins! (If possible, I also wish Ogata Tei wouldn’t be so slow with the DMM FANZA releases because the previous two doujins took about a year for them to come out digitally) (Also, please, I’m not a stalker)

Hinosuna: This one is truly the best Custom Maid 3D2 artist I’ve ever seen and met, not only he makes amazing futanari CM3D2 pictures and he’s quite a gamer too. He’s also the first Custom Maid person to make collab pictures with my characters and he did some in July and for my birthday, and he event went so far for gifting me VA-11 HALL-A on my birthday and boy, that was one of the best surprises I’ve ever gotten in my life!

I’m really sorry, Souryu, no more Kouiunogaii, not worth mentioning you here.

(This is probably gonna be the last time I’m going to do this category)

And now, we’re finally done talking about our Top categories! Now let’s finally start talking about a bit of my life in the last 10 years, and then my 2019 review and what to expect in 2020!

2009: Let’s start off with a little silly but upsetting, this was the year where I made my definitive Roblox account. I have played Roblox like a year or two prior as a guest but I finally started to play as a full account or something. I’ve always been making like a few but I wasn’t getting satisfied with them, probably because the usernames had really long numbers, e-mail or password, something like that, but then one of the usernames with really long numbers stood out, and I decided to make into the Brandon2126 account, I played it non-stop until I stopped playing Roblox for good in 2013 the moment I got my PC fixed for like the 5th or lost count for how many times my old computer kind of got messed up, but this one had finally has Windows 7 Home Premium and my sister was like “No Roblox.”, and it magically made me stop playing Roblox anymore. And in the process where I was making the accounts, I was genuinely being yelled at and beaten and even threw water on me in the process... yeah.

There’s another bad memory in 2009 I have, and it’s where I was watching Life in Portal: Madness on Newgrounds, this predates Avengers: Infinity War with the most ambitious crossover 10 years ago, but for some reason, this kind of encouraged me because I kind of hated how they killed Eddsworld (or just Tom), my mom started talking to me and at some point, I yelled at her to the point that I legit made her cry... yeah... this was probably like the first time, even at almost 10 years old at the time, I was becoming a human trash like I partially become today...

Okay, what a lovely way to start my 10 year journey from 2009 with some bad memories, but now we’re moving on to the next years with short but good memories... that is until you reach 2012 or 2013.

2010: I don’t really remember much of what happened this year, but the only thing I remember is that in Halloween (October 30th or 31st), I went to an anime convention with my older sister, it was really neat but then I saw a booth with a screen playing Highschool of the Dead, and the one frame I remember is the bloody floor from episode 2.

I wish I can go to these local conventions very often but at the same time I tend to think how kind of cheap and poorly made are by my city’s standards or something...

2011: This was the year where I started to finally get gaming consoles, starting with the PSP Go, and it’s where I first started playing Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, and I believe this was my genuine first Metal Gear game I started playing. I grew up with Metal Gear with Egoraptor’s Awesome series but I definitely haven’t played any of the games at all.

2012: I vaguely remember what happened to me or what were the most special things that happened and did, but all I can remember is that I’ve had some really bad problems with DeviantArt. Going by BMT2126StudiosMK, I had some seriously bad behavior during those times, to the point where I was kind of like straight-up method acting or something like that, and thinking about it just grosses me out and wish I can go back in time to stop myself for how I was back then.

2013: My problems with DeviantArt start to get much worse when this shit happened. Geez, 13-14 year old me was the absolute worst, ever.

That aside, ever since I played Metal Gear Rising, I can’t help but think that the game has gave me so much inspirations for the projects I want to make, it pretty much boosted my creativity in terms of the weapons, the technology, everything else in MGR.

2014: This year was my worst yet. It started with one of the best moments of my life early that year, because I get to watch Highschool of the Dead in my own cable TV with my older sister. I happened to notice that HOTD was coming to Mexican TV from a Facebook group about people who want to change Cartoon Network LA by removing the censorship and every other crap the channel has, if it weren’t from that group, I wouldn’t have ever known about it.

But in a few months later (I forgot specifically when), one night, I was watching La Sopa (Mexican version of The Soup), and when it was on commercial break, I checked my Twitter a bit, but when the show was back on, my sister came back and spotted me using Twitter, she yelled and then I ran away to my bedroom upstairs... There’s a lot that happened after that and either I can’t remember or I don’t really want to talk about it. Anyways, long after this happened, my family scolded me for who knows how many times I’ve been through this hell, the following weeks I’ve spent my life trying to make alternate accounts just so my sister won’t notice, but she ultimately has.

2015: This is where I finally started to become independent, like I was finally free from using my computer right next to my older sister, it happened like early in the year where I got to watch anime on my own and then watching seasonal anime ever since, starting with the Kancolle anime. (Regardless of what everyone says about it nowadays, I still enjoyed it)

2016: Here is where starting with Batman v Superman is where I had a hatred for critics. Every time a movie came out, they’re rated as trash, but when I saw them, they’re not really trash at all.

2017: This year has become my breaking point and I turned into the person I am today, someone with an absolute vendetta against opinions, I even had to make a post about my problems with them nowadays.

2018: You already know by now what a painful year 2018 was, and I can’t even bother to transcribe pretty much what happened, so I’ll leave my review here.

There were a couple of great moments, but the majority were painful moments after another, but still some positive ones somewhere.

If all my stories from all these makes make you disgusted at me as a human being, you’d better stop getting along with me now.

2019

Alright, time to finally discuss everything that happened to me this year and before we do that, let me give you a small headline of the year overall:

2019 is just as bad, if not, MUCH MUCH WORSE than 2018

Life continues to be a dumpster fire to the point where I’d really like to time travel and just stop everything. one can only dream. Anyways, let’s discuss why 2019 was my worst year yet, starting with:

The worst moments that drove me insane and nearly destroyed my life

For starters, the first two months were a hell of a rough start with my usual problems with my obsession with personal opinions and lack of progress in my novel; as for the latter, I had my older sister give me feedback on a few elements, but she later suggested me some ideas I’m not super comfortable at all, like not using real locations, nationalities, etc., literally make the entire world of my novel fictional, I had told her to not make me ruin my baby any further, she replied “good luck”, so I gave up on talking to her on my project for good.

Then in late March, one of the most heartbreaking incidents I’ve ever witnessed was that artist LOLICEPT and all the harassment he went through by one or two people thinking that one of his pictures was a poorly timed joke for the earthquake. I wasn’t aware of this until I saw hews tweeting about it, I was wondering what’s going on and I was looking at replies of that tweet hews made about LOLICEPT.

Then, I started tweeting thanking hews about a bit of context, while he wasn’t like 100% sure first, I thought that it was still something of a clue. Someone got in our conversation saying that they’re writing a thread of what’s happening and I was on board with the idea, I waited a little while and the document went live, I read the whole thing and I couldn’t help but feel heartbroken about what happened.

There was like a lot of shit that happened, but later on, I noticed that LOLICEPT was still active on Pixiv under a new name: Belko, he started like a day after the incident happened and deleted his old LOLICEPT accounts and I was late into that. Then on May, I noticed that he had a Twitter too, I thought he wouldn’t return to Twitter anymore but now he has, now my life seeing LOLICEPT again, even with a new name, is all I need, and I’m glad he’s still drawing which it’s the most important thing... although I have a complaint and I made a thread about it, but regardless, I’m glad he continues to draw, that’s it.

Now, there’s another issue that happened to another artist, I saw this tweet where it was an artist named kun0 and his girlfriend insulting DreamNekoTV’s art style live on Twitch, and that is not something you should do, you do not criticize artists like that. As someone who hates criticizing art and artists (well, I do have my rights to criticize whatever they make sometimes, I vent them out on my private server, but I do have a rule of NOT criticizing right AT them or anything; Okay, maybe art critique should still exist, but not like this, okay?), I just really can’t stand people criticizing whoever artist and their art style and stuff, because, well, that’s their art style and they all try their best (that is part of why I was never fond of the Saberface jokes on the Fate/Type-Moon community, same face disorder jokes is not something that should be ridiculed). This backlash was very big that not only fans, but even creators like Jacksepticeye, DrLupo, Joey The Anime Man, and many others have expressed disgust over this, and with that, DreamNekoTV has gained over 40k followers at the time (Right now she sits at ???k at the time of uploading this post).

So 2019 wasn’t the best year for artists.

With the kun0 controversy, I wish it had a much MUCH bigger impact, not only for the art community, but like the entire world as well, for non-artists like the creators I mentioned above have expressed.

But wait, things get a lot WORSE in the art community!

An artist under the name @Naju075 made this picture of Nessa and there’s nearly a thousand comments, most of which are people talking shit about “neSSa iS nOt BlAck eNOugH” or something like that, then there’s people who of course defend the artist, telling the artist to ignore the haters and even a meme of the art police who think they are vs who they are in reality (the former is they’re being like normal cops and “making things right” and the latter they’re straight-up clowns). This kickstarted a running gag amongst the art community where artists would occasionally make pictures of Nessa with intentional different color skins, including one from BOW with a rainbow Nessa, and even one from hews with a completely white Nessa intended to bait.

But that isn’t the worst of all, the next thing I’m going to discuss is the grandest worst thing from the art community yet:

Tutorial artist Manga Materials had posted a “Difference on a beginner and a pro’s line strokes” tutorial (which you can see on her Pixiv Fanbox now), this had caused controversy by a couple of assholes (Here are the culprits compiled by Andyface) were harrassing her because they thought her tutorial was “offensive” for the “beginner/pro” part. This harrassment was so bad that Manga Materials herself lead to close her English Twitter account for good, and she’ll continue doing tutorials on her Pixiv Fanbox account. She still has her Japanese Twitter account but she’s taking a break from it for a while and continue her work on Fanbox.

(Messages from her Fanbox: 1, 2. (Even though that second one is similar, but there’s still a different message in there))

This was the second artist scandal that pissed me off so grandly, it breaks my heart seeing artists suffering like this. I wish I could continue supporting her and see her tutorials, but I hate Pixiv Fanbox because it won’t let me use my debit card, and her subscriptions can be... quite expensive to say the least.

Like the LOLICEPT incident, as I mentioned that Manga Materials had deleted her Twitter, I don’t want to judge her decision, especially for a very sensitive person, I just would really like to see her pictures archived or anything. We’re going back to square one with the archive thing I mentioned with LOLICEPT above. (I wouldn’t like to be repetitive)

There’s another artist controversy that happened on early July, but it isn’t much about harrassment, it’s about plagiarism. Sky-Freedom had posted an Oneshota series titled “Rich Thots” starting on January this year (or late December because there are some pictures that Sky-Freedom hasn’t posted on Twitter; and the series wasn’t explicitly called Rich Thots, but the first pictures had “rich_thots” as the filenames so people took that as the series’ name), I never got to see the NSFW pictures from his Patreon until late June, I managed to save every picture right on time. Then, on July 1st, I checked my mail and I saw a picture Sky-Freedom posted, then I visited his Patreon... and every single of the JK oneshota pictures are gone. Sky released his apology and I was utterly shocked. It turns out that the first picture Sky made was a straight-up copy from a similar picture made by an artist called Shinjiro (@shnr2626/@shnjr4545). To think that Sky-Freedom himself would copy from another artist... This is hard to believe.

I want to keep supporting Sky-Freedom, but at the same time, I don’t want to anymore. Not because of the fact he plagiarized, I want to keep supporting him but I can’t even bother to care for his other content, such as Tejina Senpai and Azur Lane doujins which he sold at C96 like fire.

I wanted to ask Sky and Shinjiro about it but Shinjiro blocked me on Twitter (at least he blocked me from his talk account, I’m still following his art account fine), my obsession was so great that I even went so far on making a Twitter account (It was originally @JKOneShota but I changed it to @SkyOneShotaFan to be more a direct reference to being a Sky-Freedom JK oneshota fan account) to try to spread word and try to make both artists to communicate each other a lot more with the help of my feedback as to what I believe in the pictures themselves, unfortunately the account hasn’t met my expectations on spreading word and everything like I wanted, I want to delete the account now but I’ll leave it for historical purposes, even though it was meaningless. At least it serves as an informative account or something.

August 28th, 2019, the shnjr4545 Twitter account posted a new tweet, I signed in the Save Rich Thots Twitter account and spammed “ JKおねショタを復活させる” (Revive JK Oneshota) to that tweet, as well as the previous one (Seeing this image just adds fuel to the fire on the controversy) and... got blocked. I thought this was a pure art account and didn’t give a crap on people, yet here I am. 😂

So, yeah, Shinjiro pretty much doesn’t want you to talk about the Rich Thots series at him, or else he’ll block you. Don’t asking him anything about it, just stay silent.

But wait, after all that ranting with Sky-Freedom vs Shinjiro over Rich Thots, on October 7th, Sky-Freedom has revived the Rich Thots series and OH MY GOD, I COULDN’T HAVE BEEN HAPPIER. My heart and faith on Sky-Freedom has completely restored! (So much for that “protest” account. Although from October 7th to November 18th was kind of disappointing but I hope the next few weeks will start to get better. Even with the two new onee-sans featured lately, I wish Sky can reuse the other three girls before the plagiarism bullshit. At least change the two black haired girls a little bit and the blonde gyaru is 100% original)

Another thing I want to talk about artists is how at least two of them have been driving me insane with their art block. Moisture and sub_res, but the latter is the absolute worst). There isn’t really much to talk about with Moisture other than he just complained a lot about his “inability” to draw and stuff, I forgot when it happened but at least he’s stopped complaining. Now, moving on to sub_res and boy, I seriously hate this guy now. He complained literally every single day about his art block, his inability and all that stuff and no matter how many people tell him his art is fine and all that, sub is very neglective about listening to his fans and everything. He’s still going and at this point I really don’t want to follow him anymore if he continues to whine like that.

I seriously shouldn’t underrestimate the struggles artists have because I’m an expectator, but even if I’m a hobbyist artist, I do have my struggles to, but I do deal with them, I’m more confident with whatever I draw than sub does, especially when I don’t have such a mentality when I see some fine ass drawings as utterly shit (well, sometimes but most of the time not really) like sub.

There’s yet another artist drama around early November with artist Piukute062. It all started with him uploading this NSFW looking picture which it became the loading screen for the English version of Azur Lane. When I saw this picture, I thought it was super hot, but it was NSFW enough to be in a Azur Lane loading screen contest, and it happened... but only for an extremely short period.

As soon as the loading screen went live, it got removed out of the blue. Then a day later when Piukute posted a WIP for his next art piece, he stated that it got removed for the R-17 art, which it was expected because I always thought it was NSFW enough to be in the contest, but at the same time it sucks that it got removed. Two days later, he released an apology note to put an end to this drama for good.

Now, I’m glad that he’ll continue to do artwork for Azur Lane, whether fan arts or official, and he’s learned from this drama, but to be honest, I’m kind of conflicted about this...

Seriously, 2019 wasn’t the best year for artists.

Anyways, sorry for dragging all my talk with art and artists, but this shit matters for me as I’m more of a hobbyist artist. Anyways, let’s move on to even worse things that happen in real life.

On May 22nd, I went to Walmart with my mom and older sister, I find the Matchbox Jurassic World cars I wanted to buy, and we did, but when we were checking our bags when we were about to leave and pick the taxi, the cars went missing and we went rushing on searching for them, then a man came and and asked for the cars, and we were glad that this man came to give us the cars, but my mom and sister were in an argument and yelled at me that I need to be more careful, I felt a little sad and broken I had to make a thread about what happened, then my older sister messaged me on Discord and said that her friend saw what I posted and then she apologized. A friend of my sister, okay? Uh, okay.

Before I continue, let me address something: I think around early June or something (It’s been a while and I forgot), I was in the RPG Site Discord server and people talked shit about Persona 5, and pretty much everything they say about the game just hurts my soul so much that I decided to make a TwitLonger post about why I’m practically done with the Persona series for good. Later I made a bit of off-topic rant, going a bit existential and then I went to sleep. Then at 7 AM, my mom just came to my bedroom and she argued with me about the depressive stuff I write, she even went so far that the government was watching me. (Now that I think about it, there’s no fucking way that’s true). Later I checked Discord and my older sister DM’d me saying “My friend saw your stuff again, you need to lay off the internet for a while. You take people’s opinions too seriously.” It seems like my sister’s friend was apparently my stalker, this was starting to feel like 2014 all over again when I got stalked by one of my sister’s old friends. Wow, way to keep ruining my life for my “own good”... Thankfully a while later, they got suspended, and when they got back, they stopped following me. Moving on...

Etika... What happened to Etika was really sad. I don’t really want to talk too much about Etika because I’m scared that I may speak ill of him, but everything that happened to him leading up to his death sucks. Then there was also the Kyoto Animation arson, which that was an absolutely horrendous even to ever happen in Japan in recent years.

Around the same time Etika died, and I shit you not, a few days later, my older sister was hospitalized for her behavior, I don’t really know what happened but I remember hearing my mom having a phone call with the hospital and then i heard my older sister yell “WHO ARE YOU CALLING TO?!” and then they left and she got hospitalized.

Then around the same time, there was quite some problems with a DM group made by one of MysticDistance’s friends. First off, I’ve had quite some rough times with MysticDistance’s DM groups and I seriously feel bad because I hate being the way I am with my opinion vendetta, I can be quite a bitch. Anyways, with this new DM group by one of Mystic’s friends, first thing was that when my older sister was hospitalized, I spent most of my money buying stuff from Steam because it had the Summer Sale at the time (and bought other things that was a little expensive like Wallpaper Engine), then when I noticed my debit card’s wallet (Yes, I finally got a debit card, more details later), I started... e-begging, to get a bit of money so I can get like 300-400 pesos back because I needed the money for the three of us to go see Spider-Man: Far From Home, someone brought up the subject of our finances and one person got really mad at me because when I had shared my PayPal.me link about my financial struggles, someone else shared the other person’s PayPal link about their... cancer donations, and the person who made the tweet linking their PayPal for cancer donation really lashed out at me real bad, later I eventually clarified and all seems went to normal.

There was another situation in that DM group but we’ll get into that later.

Also, let me rephrase that, when my older sister was hospitalized, I spent most of my money I was supposed to use for Spider-Man: Far From Home buying shit from Steam! Man, I can’t get any worse. But don’t worry, my financial struggle quickly got fixed as one of my friends definitely volunteered to give me 20 dollars, which equals 400 pesos! The dude just saved my life.

My Summer vacation was the most boring and shallow vacation I’ve ever had in my entire life.

August came and went, and while the first few weeks were fine, like around the middle of the month, it just turned into absolute hell: Spider-Man leaving the MCU... but then that quickly got resolved a month later.

September came and there really wasn’t much big things to talk about, moving on to October boy, my 20th birthday was the absolute best I’ve had in my life. Still nowhere near the kind of birthday I always want, but I got some surprises and stuff that I’ve always been looking for. I’ll address this later in the positives of the year. Although there’s something I have to say which made me sad, but thankfully happened a day after my birthday: One of the Custom Maid 3D2 artists I’ve liked, kirishima_ss (NSFW, click with discretion) blocked me on Twitter after I tweeted them that yesterday was my birthday. Like... seriously dude? I just turned 20! Did they block me for the sake of not getting suspended from young accounts interacting with mature ones?! Or are they racist?! I kinda want to tell the other Custom Maid 3D2 artists who follow me but I don’t want to get them in trouble and they’ll end up getting blocked too...

Then like at the end of the month, I also got kicked out from the one DM group because I shared one of MysticDistance’s tweets saying something about popular series and whatnot, I asked what do they think and everyone proceeded to give answers like “I don’t care” and such. Me bitching out, I was like “...Really? Try to put some more heart to it” and one of the guys used me as an example of if a series is popular I kinda get angry with opinions and something like that, I asked that if that was really necessary to use me like that, and then I noticed that I got kicked out of the group out of the blue. I asked SAL about it and it appears that one of the people who was in the chat blocked me, I immediately thought of this one person and she did indeed block me. Well, okay, I always had the feeling she hated me anyways. (ROT13 message incoming)

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November went by and nothing very big, but I have to say, and this isn’t much of a positive nor a negative thing but I need to address this here, on par with the first paragraph of this segment: When I opened Chrome and started checking on my WordPress site for my project and under my pen name, I came across two which were posted on October and I really have never noticed it in a month. The first one was just a guy saying “Hype!” because he was intrigued with my project, but the second comment from the same guy... was quite a long harsh feedback I’ve gotten so far. (Not the first or the most unhelpful (although it kind of is) but come on). The only feedback I genuinely care for my future as an author is I want grammatical issues, narrative issues maybe so I want everyone to give me suggestions on what do I do with certain characters I’m not sure about, but issues about the concept?

Let me real about this, the only kind of feedback I care about are grammatical issues, narrative issues maybe because I want to fix some character backstories and other things I’m not really sure with, but issues with the concept and everything? I don’t give a shit. Can’t there ever be some liberties with having to make some things without considering too much backstory or anything?

Oh, I almost forgot to tell something from November, I FINALLY GOT MY PS4!!! Though... the outcome didn’t turn out as hype and peaceful like I wanted. My mom and my older sister started arguing because mom used all of my sister’s money, and my sister got aggro. After seeing my mom and sister argue, my mom told me to come with her to go back home, but I turned and walked away from her and I said “I’m not going because you’re useless”. But then, I immediately felt bad and tried to search my mom around the plaza, but whatever, I decided to go home once and for all while my older sister was still hanging around in her own.

Later that day, my sister came back home, she and I finally set up the PS4 and I started playing Dark Souls 3 (Yes, I now understand how Git Gud feels like), but then mom came back home and she and my sister started arguing again, they even went so far to return and sell the PS4 back, then I (tried really hard to) pillow yelled that they were gonna sell the PS4 as soon as we bought it. But then, the next day, all got resolved and it turned out to be my sister’s fault for something. I have no idea what just happened, but hey, we’re not selling the PS4 anymore!

Seriously, my mom and sister are incredibly stupid, I always think their chemistry sucks. I wish either of them are dead already if this kind of shit continues to happen.

Anyways, moving on. December came and went, and the biggest thing that first happened and must talk about: The Game Awards. This was the biggest waste of time I’ve ever been, and the absolute worst one yet. The only things that I cared about were the No More Heroes 3 trailer (which I’ll talk about later), DMC5 winning Best Action game, and Death Stranding winning a couple of awards (I’m truly disappointed that it didn’t win GOTY, but at least it was something), everything was maximum sleep.

Anyways, Christmas came and I got some decent gifts: I got me a fluffy blanket, a new wallet and 500 pesos from my aunt. I got a new bath coat and a wristband from my mom. They’re good gifts but they certainly don’t top last year’s Christmas gifts where I got a new phone and Spider-Verse. (Speaking of which, I wanted to buy the Spider-Verse wristband but mom didn’t want me to because she thought “nobody wears wristbands”, and somehow she changed her mind with the one she just gave me. Now I need a ring so my hands look cool). I hope next year I get much better gifts, something crazier and expensive, though I might be asking for too much. Same with my birthday. But hey, at least the chocolates are always a nice side-gift (?) to get. (We always get bags full of various chocolates for Christmas, and got one for my birthday too)

This last paragraph wasn’t so much of a negative thing as it is more for positive, and this category is more like a long telling of my life in general throughout the rest of the year anyways.

And now we’re finally here, New Year’s day and, what else? You’re reading this post talking about my life throughout the decade and my long 2019 review.

Seems like there’s nothing else to discuss, so I think we’re done talking about the mostly negative things that I’ve been through in my entire life this year. But we’re just getting started...

The positives

For the most part I have pretty much discussed a lot of very negative things that happened in my life, but I had to do it so I can get it out of my way and I want people to understand what I’ve been going through in my life this year. It may or may not be worth getting sympathy over something that’s always my fault and stuff that is common in life, but at times it really drives me to give up on achieving my dreams and kill myself, but now the entire year wasn’t that bad like I think it is, so let’s discuss my biggest positives:

Starting around January, I finally got to have my own debit card and that seriously changed my life... For the better and for the worse. You see, the one thing I always do with my money is spending over 100 pesos on supporting artists, mainly on Fantia every month(Sometimes on Patreon when their pages are the ones that take away my money instantly, I’ve seen some that don’t really take away the moment I subscribe to one of their tiers), I also bought porn illustration CG sets in DMM FANZA. At some points, I went into a serious financial struggle. So yeah, I pretty much always spend my money with porn every month. I kind of wish I could try to save my money a bit, but sometimes, the Fantia artists’ content is too good to ignore them (Some pages have their contents posted limited for a month, others are unlimited).

I haven’t spent my money only on porn alone, I also bought games on Steam, especially during the Summer Sale. I bought various Valve games, Melty-Blood, etc. Even long after the Summer Sale, I managed to buy Killer7, Saya no Uta and Custom  Order Maid 3D2 (English Steam).

Man, my debit card is my best friend, I can finally start buying stuff and supporting artists I really care about, though the only problem is that I want to support artists on Pixiv Fanbox but Pixiv (Yes, all of Pixiv) won’t allow me to use my debit card at all. Sometimes Google Play is for some reason broken because when I try to buy stuff from Fate/Grand Order and Azur Lane, I always get an error despite putting my information correctly, but I hate Pixiv the most because they definitely strictly want credit cards. Sure, I can still use PayPal to support artists on Fanbox, but there’s no way anyone would ever give me money on PayPal.

Another best thing that happened in my life is that I finally achieved one of my long gaming dreams, I finally own a PS4 after years! Though, like I said, the outcome turned out grim, but still, I finally own a PS4 after so god damn long! My first PS4 games are Dark Souls 3 (We bought it along with the PS4 from some promo in the RadioShack we bought the PS4 from), Devil May Cry 5 (I never expected my older sister to buy DMC5 from Amazon a few days after buying the PS4 already), and lastly Death Stranding in December. November was basically Buen Fin (Mexico’s less chaotic Black Friday), so that’s how we got the PS4 after so long! (Though given how much I play DMC5 and Death Stranding lately, I don’t think I’ll ever touch Dark Souls 3 ever again). Man, I really hope I get enough money to buy so many releases we missed over the years!

About my novel I always wanted to make... Well, don’t really get me started on it. I still haven’t started publishing chapters of it at all. But still, early this year, I started making accounts with my pen name my older sister come up (I told her that I want her to help me out but as her feedback grew ludicrous, I gave up and decided to follow what I want to make myself), I’ve also been making a site with Wix, but several months later, I gave up with Wix and decided to make another one with WordPress.com and it’s so much better.

Even if I haven’t started publishing my novel’s chapters, at least I have been trying to write some of the prologue alone! So that’s something, I guess...

One of the best things that has happened to me on Twitter so far is that I’ve been getting followed by a few Japanese illustrators, but mostly Custom Maid 3D2 artists, and I can’t believe I happened to be friends with at least two who I really like talking with the most. Not only that but some also made collab pictures using my OCs and boy, I couldn’t be any happier. (See the collabs here, NSFW). This is how it feels like when having your favorite artists follow you but they also make pictures of your OCs. I’m very grateful that these Japanese artists are following and even talking to foreign nobodies like me, let alone Mexican.

Oh yeah, there’s also the fact that I’m attending fine arts school now, but it isn’t my best positive thing, I honestly feel mixed about it because my mom forced me to go to school again after a year being a NEET. But then, around earlier December, I got some scolarship money and just when I was thinking that I wanted to give up on attending this school after a year, the money just convinced me, so I think I have to stay a little longer, I guess...

And now, it’s time for the one big speech I want to make so my soul can finally be clean and set free once and for all!

My current mental health and trying to get my last laugh on everyone

As you probably might have guessed, my long struggle of dealing with people’s opinions and criticisms is never going to stop. No matter how much you tell me to ignore people with what they say and still try to like what I like, no matter how much how much you’re gonna tell me that I need to take a break from the internet for a while, none of that shit is going to happen.

I won’t take off the internet for a while because I don’t know what else to do (besides gaming and other things), I’m gonna get bored to death and there’s a lot of things that makes me happy, being fan arts and porn.

No matter how much you tell me and I promise to myself that I need to behave myself, I won’t keep my word and I will always continue to make fuss about everything about people’s mentalities when it comes to what they say and everything else in this life.

Everything I was a loner in 2015, as years went on, I’ve started to become more socially active and I have made more friends. But now, I’m not grateful for it. I wish I hadn’t made friends. I wish I remained an absolute loner for the rest of my life.

Let me try to make one last rant and hopefully somebody will understand and I will be free.

I don’t know what the hell is wrong with everyone, everyone always tends to attack some things I really find okay with or for no reason. Everytime I watch something bad, I’m like “Hm, okay, that wasn’t so bad”, and then literally everyone goes way too far by being insecure asses yelling at everything on how offensively bad these things are. I know I had some experience too, but most of the time, I don’t really care, either from fandoms or just general communities that have some things in their interests.

Even if people tell me that they don’t have problems that I like what they don’t, that doesn’t change their hypocrisy, they’re cynicism! It’s not just one person that has a contrary feeling to mine, it’s always, ALWAYS a god damn circle of cynics that I can’t even want to interact with them and get along!

The biggest problem is that even if I were to enjoy what I enjoy and ignore people that they don’t, there are people that are even precious to me, but my hopes and dreams immediately get destroyed the moment they say one bit of negativity around something I hold dear the most in my life and it’s an absolute red flag an absolute offense for me!

Talking about things, for example, Overwatch or even Star Wars with Rise of Skywalker, or even the Fate fandom, pretty much any community is absolute cancer. Even for general communities, hearing and reading what people are saying about stuff you like but then they proceed to say things that they expect you to believe is nothing but a social taboo! There is no fucking way that I’m gonna agree to literally everything you say and my means by disagreeing opinions is always by lifting my voice and fight for it! It’s a social taboo to the point that we’re not even “mutuals” because we have nothing in common!

If you even dare to tell me that you’re not forcing your opinions or anything, then don’t even bother telling me to not force my opinions because that’s what I pretty much want! I want to force my opinions towards people until they give up and admit that I win!

It’s even worse when there are “fans” out there that are just outright bashing things for absolute no reason! If you do that, you’re basically destroying your pride for that series you’re supposed to be into, what it means to you, what it represents you! Sure, I may have some issues with certain things, but at the same time, I don’t really have problems with anything nor I even care to think or even agree to anyone with whatever bullshit they say. I don’t give a shit whether nothing is perfect, well it is for me and my heart, as long as I have fun or don’t have problems, that’s it!

People think they’re fans of a certain franchise they represent, but no! Why can’t anyone become real fanboys to the point that they’re more like blind fanboys like me where I tend to support literally anything regardless of some situations!

It’s even dumber that there are people asking for people to make “good” things or anything that they think it’s “good”. First of all, please for the love of god, define “good” because you clearly have no idea what do you even mean or even want. If you think you want people to make “good” things as a general principle of life, you’re dead wrong! There’s no way anyone would ever make “good” things or whatever you want, instead, you might be thinking that the good stuff you want is stuff for you. So stop abusing the word “good” as a means of a principal rule for every creator to make, and instead try to find some things that you may find interesting, things that speak to you, by yourself!

The worst thing yet is that people abuse their opinions as “facts”. Like, seriously?! You do not use your opinions like that and call them “facts”, no way in hell anyone will ever believe you!

I always thought that people expressing their opinions by text is just harmful for me but I’m sure if anyone are able to speak it out by voice, then I wouldn’t have any trouble, but voiced opinions are no different because of the god awful tones people make with their voices! (This is part of why I don’t like watching The Unreal Bruhcast anymore)

So from now on, I don’t really care about pretty much everyone’s opinions. Not from friends (Belsheber Rusape, Pixelbuster), not from family (my older sister), not from YouTubers (Jacksepticeye), not from artists (Akai Riot), anyone! I’m really sick of anyone voicing their opinions, mostly expressing hate for everything I’m curious of, and what I hold dear the most, because I hate everyone, I really hate everyone so much!

You people have failed me! You have failed me! As friends! As mutuals! Everything! I have thought really high of you but then you always blew everything up the moment you start talking shit about the stuff I hold dear the most! I don’t want to be with you anymore! You always try so hard in trying to convince me by heart to ignore whatever bullshit people say with your empty words! Either that or I will seriously never learn and I will continue to talk shit right back at you!

By the way, @BrinkOfMemories/@BrinkArtist was one of the pioneers for developing my hatred because, my lord, every time I read their opinion tweets, they always gave me an absolute headache and I want to punch them so bad!

Now, let’s talk about my desire and my future of becoming a creator (artist, author, etc).

Every time I see people talking shit about stuff like Kojima’s writing, or any kind of poor writing people talk about, I always think that I would like to walk away from becoming a writer. why? Because I know nothing about the most basic things of “good” storytelling!

Seriously, who the hell do people think they are? They think they’re trying to be better than most of the creators (artists/writers/game devs, etc) are trying to be and what they make? Do they seriously can even understand the thought process of what people tend to make? Why do people always be like “This franchise needs to be this, the core” and all that shit. And what’s with all this “These characters need to be relatable to a lot of people”, “this story doesn’t follow the core of the original“, “this story is predictable”, like, what is all that garbage vocabulary?! This is why there’s no creative freedom anymore!

Not a single fan is even civil with the creators they respect anymore! Nobody really thinks what it’s like to be the creators they love and hate like I do, as someone who wants to get in the entertainment industry in some way! They can’t even think what it feels like to be the creators they inspire/aspire to be!

You think people like you who think they’re better than most creators do and even go so far by fixing some of their works because they’re incredibly flawed and all that shit, to be somebody but the fans themselves, they don’t! They think that people should make stories or anything and expecting them to be great instead of developing any sort of trust and cofidence and even try to be more hyped to check their works out regardless of quality, and then let everyone have their creative freedom!

I’ve had some really harsh feedback where in my project I want to make so bad that I tend to draw characters only to be shoved in the story by just showing them off and don’t have any real purpose, I don’t really give a shit! I’m just trying my best to figure out what kind of characters do I want to make or whatever! This is the kind of feedback that affects me so god damn much to the point where I seriously try to give up on making my project a reality! When that shit happens, I always think that I should give up in making my project beacuse nobody deserves to see my masterpieces I have in mind, my magnum opus I’ve been trying to develop for years! All because of your stupid intellect and you seriously think you have the means to make a “great” story with great storytelling, memorable characters, and everything that makes you think they’re so good, why not try to make that story with said things or even try to write my project yourself?! This is my kind of creative freedom I want to have and you people always destroy it! Not to mention that you always ask me what’s it even about and I seriously can’t process to answer what it actually is! It’s nothing but peer pressure!

Then there’s also another feedback I’ve gotten about my project as the “Why this?”, I get asked a lot of “Why...?” because people always want to look for a purpose for literally EVERYTHING and it makes me sick! Sure, I do have some things in mind for some things having a purpose, but dear god, can’t you just let anyone try to make anything without having to think of a story way too much?!

Speaking of which, there’s always these kind of people who are like “This character is my favorite because of their great actions” and whatever, and I’m literally the only one who’s just like picking a character and calling them my instant favorite from their designs alone! I may be a simpleton of a brainlet who thinks that way, but if you’re gonna force your opinion that the character I like is terrible, get out of my sight! Isn’t it something like a friend tells you “Hey, see that guy/girl over there? I think he’s/she’s hot.”, huh?! Shouldn’t it be the same for fictional characters as well?

If there are tons of things you hate in fiction so much, then I’m bound to make the same mistakes as everyone else! Make a gacha or any other things you hate that are being inserted in fiction! And do you have any idea why do creators keep putting things you hate? Because they have creative freedom! They can do whatever the hell they want! Why not let them be?! What about yourself?!

And then things get worse, there’s always a bunch of SJW assholes who always attack artists because they “promote pedophilia” when they draw shotacon/lolicon stuff? That kind of shit ALWAYS happens and it seriously need to stop! You seriously have to think that all what they do is ONLY FICTIONAL, you should keep that up in your god damn asses and never show up with these artists ever again! That’s the thing, aside from writing, why not let anyone draw whatever they want to?! Don’t you people know the rule that you should separate art from artists at all costs?! I draw gore and some dark shit a few times, but that doesn’t mean I’m an emo or edgy person! I just draw what I like!

Oh, and if anyone’s going to attack me because of my insecure opinions like this or even call me a p3d0 because I support shota/loli art (keep in mind this is strictly FICTIONAL), please don’t do that and get out of my sight!

Going back to the topic of my project, the project is absolutely top secret because if I become big enough and even under a different name, if I tell and suggest everything to everyone I know, it’s unlikely but some might make allegations about my rude behavior and how much porn I retweet, I’m basically gonna get cancelled and I don’t, for the faint of heart, I DON’T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN, PLEASE! So for all the people I tell everything about my project, I’m grateful for you to support me, but it’s time that I really wish you should forget about me and everything I said and just wait to get surprised!

After everything I just said, let me give one last fuck you to everyone I’ve grown to meet, like and hate

One last time...

I’m never going to be like you! I have my own reasons and I have better issues to be mad about and they’re not something everyone knows or even cares!

I think I am definitely done discussing what I always want to discuss and I really hope you will understand my feelings. Thank you.

Now, let’s finally move on to...

What to expect in 2020: The year and the decade beyond

Now that I’m finally done making my long review for 2019, let’s now finally talk about what am I gonna expect for 2020, mostly about the year and a little bit of the decade beyond!

Although, to be honest, I don’t really have high hopes on what the year and the decade has in store, because we’ve come to the point where we’re now in the age of extinction, pretty much everything and everyone we loved and care are disappearing, so I’m really scared of the future. Sure, I could move on but sometimes it might be hard thinking back on the stuff and people you used to admire not being there anymore...

Anyways, even if I’m going to lose the people and things I care the most in my life, there are still some new things I’m going to discover, so there’s that.

Now, let’s get started with talking about the 2020 things!

Resolutions

Like I said, I’m not really looking forward with making resolutions because I already know that I won’t be able to keep my word, pretty much anyone else might, but for me it’s kind of a big deal. I’m still gonna try to mention what are my resolutions are, and it’ll probably be the last time I’ll do this, so just in case, here they are. If I seriously don’t accomplish these at the very first days or anything, I’m basically doomed:

Release my novel once and for all: After my long ass rant about my future as an author with my project. LIke I said above, I seriously may still have not been able to start publishing at least my prologue alone, at least I’m still writing like 3/4s of it the best I can.

I’m publishing my novel as a serial on my WordPress site because I don’t want to publish them on Wattpad or Royal Road for one because I don’t have a cover, I don’t have the money to pay for an artist I want to make a cover for me nor I want to make like a placeholder at the moment.

Speaking of the cover, after making my pen name, all I did was asking a lot of Japanese artists if they can draw me a cover for the novel... When I’m already aware that I DON’T have money at all (I was asking for spec work). Thankfully some of the people I asked have turned down and most haven’t responded at all.

Let me tell you a little bit of my project. I used to dream of wanting to make this into a game, maybe an RPG Maker one right now, but I had no idea what to do with RPG Maker nor I think I would like to make my own textures and assets, I don’t think I would have gotten patience. But then about 3 years ago, I wanted to write the script for the game, but that turned out to be more like a character encyclopedia book because I really had no idea what kind of scenarios I wanted to write. Also, most of the character biographies was written by a friend who I regularly about my project with. So I gave up on my dream on making my project into a game. Besides, I don’t think I might ever learn game design or anything.

Then like two years later, I just somehow realized and learned the importance of books getting adaptations and stuff, I decided to turn it into a novel instead mainly because I want people to adapt it. So my dream of wanting my project to become a video game is still there, but all I have to do is make a novel and try to talk stuff like how I want to get it adapted or something.

(I’m not sure if that sounds like the best plan for you, writing a novel only for the sole purpose of getting adaptations, but that’s what I really want, to be honest)

I always thought that writing a novel was going to be easy as pie, but trying to figure out how to write the scenarios, describing them, the action scenes and everything is a nightmare!

I have researched quite a lot about the writing process, and the one advice that stucks to me is “You don’t have to write perfectly, just try to write something no matter if it’s garbage”, and that’s what I’m kind of trying right now.

Anyways, here comes the one thing I’m sure I might regret this, but I think it should be time to talk a LITTLE bit about something from my project.

Do you really want to know the name of the project? Well, I can’t give you the full title, but here’s a working title of sorts:

“Cebwrpg SZJ” (Definitely not used with something XIII)

(This is just to throw people off. The people I talked about my project with of course know what it means. And if someone figures out what it means, I’m probably gonna keep quiet. Although I think it might already exist somewhere...)

I’m afraid I can’t tell you what the project really is about, so I might have to leave you in the dark until I publish the novel and there’s a lot of attention and it becomes big, so that’s all you’re getting for now.

I have quite some ambitious goals which you may or may not believe me and might laugh at me but hear me out: I want to become the new SCP, Type-Moon and Marvel.

I want to be like the SCP because every time I look at the website, the creatures and everything, just truly inspires me, I’d love to do something like the SCP with writing a ton of information about my characters and stuff, but the big problem is that I really have no idea how am I gonna translate my thoughts or things into words to make lengthy profiles or something. I’d like to be like Type-Moon because... all I can think of is doing nothing but Cebwrpg SZJ as much as TM is doing nothing but Fate, but then they’re also toying with the idea of the multiverse, even though they never explicitly ever address if the Fate projects are multiverse because most of them tend to have their self-contained universe, it’s a general comic book concept of multiverse with different incarnations of characters I really can’t stop using the comic book things with Fate. Lastly, I’d like to be like Marvel because, we’re going full circle with the multiverse talk, but I’d also like to be like the MCU (Pretty much everyone else is) with shared universe and everything galore. Although for me, it’s not just going to be MCU, it’s also going to be more like the Disney/Pixar Universe theory. I just like shared universes, okay?

I would also love to become a Virtual YouTuber, just to conceal my identity and hide my public appearance, but at some point, I would still like having public appearances in conventions or any sort of these events anyways. The kind of VTuber I’d like to be is just all by myself, I wouldn’t like to be like Nijisanji or Hololive where it’s everything under corporate control and I wouldn’t like to play a character with features I’m not really sure with, I’d like to make and be my own characters.

This is the real job I want to start doing right now, and there’s no way I’m making my novel writing hobby for free, I really gotta get serious and try to make some money off from donations from chapters and eventually the full book release. (I’m planning to publish it on KDP, by the way)

I just want me and my franchise to become something big for the 2020 decade and for the Reiwa era, I want to be something! I want to achieve my dreams as soon as possible and I’d better make it fast! (I only have 10 years to do so)

Also, here’s my retirement announcement for you to read because there’s a reason why I want to stop writing blogs in Tumblr for good.

Try to behave better and be more respectful: Aside from taking people’s opinions seriously, another recurring problem about my behavior is that I always fight with my mom every time I do my older sister’s homeworks. There’s just really something from her that really frustrates me. I do feel like I really start lifting my voice at her for no reason, but my brain just feels like it’s tired of her shit, or that doesn’t want to be reminded or whatever, so I hope I could try my best at trying to have some more patience, but I still have to fight for it.

Get in shape: I gave up on going to the gym at the beginning of Summer because I wanted to rest and because I was gonna attend the fine arts school I go now because I wouldn’t have the time to go to the gym right in front of my house but I get back home exhausted and I want to save hundreds of pictures I retweet on Twitter and bookmark on Pixiv. But then Dumbbell Nan Kilo Moteru came and I immediately regret stopped going to the gym.

But it’s fine because it does show exercises you can do at home, and probably the most basic thing I can do to reduce my fat belly when having a decently fit body is doing crunches. Probably 3 sets of 20 will do, and I really hope I can do this every day. Not just crunches, I also want to do planks, but sometimes I’m not really sure if it’s effective or anything because I want to feel that my abdomen is getting burned or something.

Draw regularly until I improve my art drastically: Back in 2012, I used to draw comics mindlessly, now I’m feeling kind of tempted to draw comics again but this time it’s going to be focused with the Busujima Sisters. As much as I think that I would like to do so, I’m not really sure if I’m prepared to be drawing comics again. I mean, I do have ideas for some panels but I need some time to think better on how to structure things out.

I’m mostly a traditional person, but I really get frustrated on how the graphite is like really buried on the paper and I can’t erase anything no matter what, it’s even worse with lighter pencils, so I think I should also try to learn and have more patience with digital art. It drives me nuts on how digital art works, from brush size vs. canvas size (The bigger the canvas, the smaller even the bigger brushes are going to be) and my least favorite, layers.

So I think I might become a full-fledged artist account, not only by doing Custom Maid 3D2 pictures (Though I’m not really sure because I downloaded a torrent with CM3D2 and COM3D2 with most of the DLC and when I open COM3D2, it’s extremely laggy to the point that it might even be unusable for my laptop), but by posting doodles or even fully colored illustrations (if I have the patience) as well. I have posted pictures a little bit, but I think it should be time for me to become a full-fledged regular artist.

Choosing between traditional vs digital is a straight-up 50/50, but it’s going to be worth the try with both if I were to draw literally every day until I run out of sheets from my sketchbook because all I do is just doing doodles, but that’s the point.

Try to retweet less: This is one goal I’m not really 100% sure if I really want to do and I’m still gonna write it and not fulfill it anyways, so I’m just gonna write this here just in case. I’m always retweeting a lot of stuff, mostly porn, and I’m really concerned about my followers who might see the porn I constantly retweet a lot and they see my name everywhere, some don’t really mind but I seriously need to try to stop that habit for a bit.

Although even if I would stop retweeting, liking tweets is no different, I always retweet because I really like going to my profile and see the tweets I retweeted and everything. Retweeting tweets means keeping the person’s tweets to yourself, that’s what I always believed in my retweets. And yes, I’m lazy to go to my Likes page but I always tend to like replies, so they’re going to be a hassle to get through.

Most anticipated releases

It’s finally time to talk about my favorite part of every year, new releases! I’ve seen some stuff aimed for a 2020 release, but I’ve even seen some that are slated for 2021 and beyond, but for now, let’s talk about what this year has to store.

Although, I may vaguely remember what am I looking forward the most, but I’m just going to talk about the ones that comes to my mind first.

Also, better keep in mind that while some things may have their 2020 release dates, delays are always bound to happen, but we still have to count in some things anyways.

Anime:

There’s just so many anime coming out that I think I might have lost track. Sure, you can look at my previous Fall 2019 Final Impressions post to see what are my upcoming Winter 2020 anime, but here are the biggest shows for 2020 I’m excited for.

Attack on Titan season 4: This is going to be the final season of Attack on Titan and we have come a long way for the finale, especially that the manga is going to end soon as well. Don’t worry, this is slated for a Fall 2020 release, so as of the writing and publishing of this post, we have 10 months for S4 to come out, especially when the manga will finish by then. It’s to be determined if it’s going to be a one-cour series or a two-cour series, but what I expect the most is that it should at least adapt the finale, kind of like how Tokyo Ghoul:re the anime happened a while after the manga had ended or something, except Attack on Titan S4 is going to be faithfully adapted of course.

Akira remaster and new TV series: A 4K remaster of Akira is something I’m quite curious on how it’s going to work, but a new TV series is what I’m the most curious. Apparently, the new TV series is being made so it will fully adapt the manga where the film didn’t (the creator directed the film but the manga hadn’t been finished at the time), animated by Sunrise. I wonder if the Akira TV series will capture the original film’s style or something.

2020 sure sounds like it’s going to be the year of Akira, though 2019 was the year Akira (and Blade Runner) is set and then the Taika Waititi live-action film is going to be released in 2021.

Also, with that being said about an Akira TV series that adapts the entire manga, I think we’ve come to the point that we’re getting anime remakes with the sole purpose of adapting the manga to its ending, see Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and Fruits Basket 2019. Speaking of which...

Fruits Basket season 2: I haven’t read the manga or watched the original anime, but just with season one of Fruits Basket 2019 alone, I was impressed, so with the second season, I’m looking forward on how will TMS adapt the ending!

Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel III. spring song: At this point I definitely trust Konnichiwa (the Latin American distributor) and of course they’ll bring it to Mexico and Latin America like they did with the first two films so far, I shouldn’t be begging way too hard on wanting to see them. (I am with Promare if it’s gonna happen)

Evangelion 3.0 + 1.0: It’s been years since we have last heard of Evangelion 4.0 ever since the film got delayed because Hideaki Anno was directing Shin Godzilla, now, the film is finally happening.

This is the one film that I’m sure fixated on wanting for Konnichiwa to bring it, I see Konnichiwa as the kind of distributor that brings big franchises and big hits and Evangelion is such a big franchise for another distributor to bring the film to Mexican and Latin American theaters!

UPDATE - February 1st 2020: As of now, Konnichiwa have announced the following movies they’re going to release throughout the year:

Violet Evergarden

Konosuba

Human Lost

Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel III. spring song

My Hero Academia: Heroes Rising

So... None of them are either Promare or even Evangelion 3.0+1.0, at this point I truly lost trust with Konnichiwa, they definitely lost me. Although it’s good that they’re still bringing Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel III and My Hero Academia, but no Promare or Evangelion? Really? Come on! Human Lost of all movies?! Who thought it was a good idea?!

Keifuku-san: As of the writing of this post in December 30th, this is a surprise I really never expected to see! I saw Marissa Lenti’s tweet about “new Tatsuki anime” and the tweet she was quoting was of the Crunchyroll news where Tatsuki teases a Keifuku-san anime, and I freaked out because I’m excited that he’s already working on a new anime already based on his shorts. The teaser was posted two days ago and I seriously hate that I missed it!

With the success of Kemurikusa 2019, I think we’re seeing some sort of a post-Kemono Friends reinassance with Tatsuki by making remakes of his old classics, except Keifuku-san is his most recent short but I’m glad he’s turning into a full-fledged series, I want more Tatsuki! More Tatsuki More Tanoshii! (This is the polar oppososite of “No Tatsuki No Tanoshii” and I hope everybody gets to make a similar phrase)

UPDATE - January 4th 2020: That mystery anime from Tatsuki turned out to be Hentatsu and it’s out today. What in the world did Crunchyroll think it was Keifuku-san though the box did imply it might have been Keifuku-san. But it’s fine, Hentatsu going from shorts to a full-fledged TV series is cool too!

Golden Kamuy season 3: Just when I thought there wouldn’t be anymore Golden Kamuy, it is indeed happening and I’m happy that it is!

Zombieland Saga season 2: I’m impressed with the first season and I’m happy the second season is happening and I hope it’d better pay off the final episode’s teaser, that teaser is just too good to pass it up!

Games:

No More Heroes 3: Easily my #1 most anticipated game of the year! I’ve been a long time No More Heroes fan and I’ve been waiting for a third No More Heroes game for so long! Although the one big thing I’m skeptical for is the soundtrack, since there’s a new composer, being Nobuaki Kaneko, and it’s no longer Masafumi Takada and Jun Fukuda (Though he’s still working with sound design, so that’s a plus), I’m pretty sure the soundtrack will be nowhere near as good as the first two games, and hearing the composer’s tracks in Spotify, my skepticism grows stronger, but we’ll see. Overall, I’ve been waiting 10 years for my whole life for NMH3 and it’s finally happening!

I just need to get a Switch as soon as possible so I can start playing it on launch, but getting a PS4 was my long time biggest priority. So I really hope Suda will do the same with Travis Strikes Again by releasing NMH3 on PS4 and PC!

Resident Evil 3 Remake: With the success of RE2, they immediately started developing Resident Evil 3 Remake, and with the trailers released, I’m absolutely impressed, and it uses the same gameplay as RE2 Remake. Also, Remake Nemesis is looking good. Though, honestly I’m not really sure about the nose, but if there’s one thing that I really love about Nemesis, is his teeth.

Tsukihime remake: The Tsukihime remake is the most infamous and meme-worthy vaporware from Type-Moon that it’s not even a contest between it and Half-Life 3, if “See you in 10 years” thing may be true, then there’s already signs of its existence right now, with confirmation of test plays. So there might be hope that we’re finally going to see something about the Tsukihime remake in the light of day, and even a release date eventually!

(I’m a terrible historian, I don’t really know much about the Tsukihime remake’s history)

Also, when there are news about Tsukihime Remake’s release date, I’m going to play the original! (As long as I finish Saya no Uta because I need to finish that one first)

Half-Life: Alyx: It still may not be Half-Life 3 as mentioned with the Tsukihime remake, but I’m surprised that Valve is finally doing something with their old IP after all these years, it may be a VR but it’s still going to be something interesting. I hope it’s going to kickstart a new reinassance era for Valve if they continue to make amazing games again after Half-Life Alyx, hopefully we won’t see any repeat with Artifact.

Death March Club: This is the very first project Tookyo Games (new studio by Kazutaka Kodaka and Kotaro Uchikoshi) is releasing. Looking back, I was really not aware that Danganronpa V3 was going to be the end of the Danganronpa franchise for good and it makes me sad, there’s so much potential for V3′s univverse to be developed, but it appears that this might be it. I really hope Spike Chunsoft will do something about Danganronpa in its 10th anniversary, hopefully something new and good and not just some lame celebration messages or whatever, I want a new game or a new anime, something new Danganronpa! ;_;

Anyways, even if there may not be any more Danganronpa, I could still follow Kodaka‘s new developments with his new projects (along with Uchikoshi). Teased back in 2018, there are two projects featuring Rui Komatsuzaki’s art, one is a new game and the other one is a new anime by Pierrot, and I’m seriously the most excited for these two!

Movies:

Black Widow and The Eternals: I haven’t kept track with the upcoming Marvel releases right now, so I’d better keep a careful eye out for them. Not only Black Widow and The Eternals are coming out, there’s also going to be the MCU TV series in Disney+, like Falcon and Winter Soldier and WHAT IF...?. I’m especially intrigued for Falcon and Winter Soldier right now.

And for those who are like “Welp, time to stop caring about the MCU because all they want us to do is use our money for the movies and for paying Disney+” when there were news that Kevin Feige says that the Disney+ series are going to be crucial for the MCU, fuck you. (I’m talking to you, Pixelbuster and Macuelos. You boomers)

As for Black Widow, I’m concerned that it’s going to be Captain Marvel 2.0, not only for having SJW trolls (which that wasn’t the biggest deal for Captain Marvel), but rather even normal people bashing it out for its quality, the biggest thing people have criticized at the first trailer so far is Taskmaster’s costume where it looks nothing like the comics. That shit is seriously none of my concern and I really think Taskmaster looks really cool, it reminds me of Crossbones and that’s what makes their military aesthetics so special. (And please swallow that)

Venom 2: I’m supper happy that, regardless of its critical reception, the first Venom movie became a financial success and a cult hit with Eddie x Venom shippers. With that being said about making a lot of money, I’m really happy that they’re working on Venom 2 right away! That post-credits teaser with Carnage is just too good for a sequel to not be made!

I don’t care if it’ll “improve” the first film, I do think Venom 2 is going to be “better” but in a sense of topping the original because of Venom and Carnage, not because of improving the first film’s issues and all that shit! Give me more Venom movies and Venom vs Carnage and I just want the second film to be at the same pace as the first film which my older sister and I loved it!

I really hope the film will still come out in October, especially that in October 2020, my birthday is going to be on Sunday, which that means I’ll finally get to see a Venom movie DIRECTLY on my birthday just like with Joker this year!

Morbius: This wasn’t high on my anticipated movies list, but the trailer was released on January 13th 2020, I must talk about it now: The trailer looks interesting and I’m definitely going to see it, but the biggest surprise yet is that there’s Michael Keaton’s Adriam Toomes/Vulture from Spider-Man: Homecoming at the very end of the trailer. Seems like this is definitely setting up some small ties to the MCU with the Spider-Man characters, and it all depends if Tom Holland’s Spidey will appear in some form with either Morbius or Venom 2, most likely Venom 2 but we’ll see about Morbius.

Wonder Woman 84 and Birds of Prey: 2019 was sure the best year for DC with Shazam and especially Joker, though I’m concerned that the good DC movies period is already going to be over with Wonder Woman 84 and Birds of Prey where people aren’t going to be fond with these films, but I’m still going to see the films regardless. (Especially Wonder Woman 84 because a lot of people had trouble with the first film’s ending smh.)

There’s also going to be major events like the Tokyo Olympics 2020 and I’m curious to see how much of the anime pop culture there’s going to be for global television, but I’m also worried if the way they’re going to handle Comiket without using the Tokyo Big Sight because they are going to use it for the Olympics, and there are also news that they’re removing porn from convenience stores, basically the porn in Japan is being removed for the Olympics, but the biggest thing I’m concerned is that if Comiket 98 taken place in May is going to be the last Comiket for good because I haven’t seen like any news about it and that’s all what the Wikipedia page has, I really hope there’s still more Comiket in the future, even when I don’t really go to Comiket at all because I don’t live in Japan, but I really love seeing artists setting their circles and having their doujins all sold out.

There’s also going to be the Playstation 5, which it may or may not be the best thing in the world to happen right now considering that I just got my PS4 in November, although Sony did confirm that the PS5 has backwards compability with PS4, but then there are also reports that it’s backwards compability with all the previous Playstations and that smells like bullshit to me.

Anyways, I’m definitely not buying the PS5 at launch, I’ll wait in a few years until there are some really interesting exclusives, or even if there devs making new games for the PS5, they’re still bound to be released on the PS3 as well. Just like I did with the PS4, we never bought it at launch and we waited for a long time for cooler releases to get there and that’s where we finally decided on getting a PS4, albeit several years late but whatever.

The PS5 won’t be coming out until the Holidays 2020, so I have an entire year to play with my PS4 and take my best advantage of it, in the meantime, I’ve been playing Devil May Cry 5 and Death Stranding, and hopefully we can get to buy the many other releases we missed over the years.

Ugh, I don’t know what else is coming out in 2020 with different media, but I think that’s enough about my most anticipated releases that I could think of! As time goes on, whenever news about some things pop up, I’m of course going to keep track of those releases!

Conclusion

We have at least reached the end of this long long post I have made yet, I’m sorry if I made you through read all of this insanity, but I really hope you might have skimmed through some parts and read a little bit of the most important pieces, the ones that you find the most interesting.

This was an amazing yet painful but still a fun wild ride with this decade. I’ve had plenty of fond memories and developed lots of new interests, though having lots of suffering in the process, but still, it was a joy to live through out this decade. Can’t wait to see what will the decade have in store. Still not expecting for real life to become the future like we see in pop culture, but I’m sure there’s still going to be some great technological advancements and most important of all, lots of amazing pop culture! (I know lately has been mediocre with neglectful creators and corporates and cringey memes inserted by old men, but who really cares?)

I’m really hoping for a far positive 2020 decade, but as you would expect, countless groups of SJWs attacking innocent artists, scummy corporates, cringeworthy memes and pretty much everything else will remain unchanged.

But regardless, there’s still going to be amazing new things we’re going to discover to love and hate this decade and the Reiwa period!

As I said at the beginning of this post, this is the last post I’m going to make because lately I’ve seriously been getting burned out by writing the same posts and the worst part is that I’m always trying to make them huge and I really have no idea to process these posts. Another reason why is that I want to start focusing on my career as an author, I just need to get over this blogging side to be over and I’m sure it’s going to be even more painful than blogging, but that’s something I really want to focus and don’t want the blogging to get in my way.

As for the future of making posts like these, I’m just going to make like a thread of tweets of my top 10 anime/games/movies of the year with 4 pictures of my top 4 or make a TwitLonger, to make things simple because I’ve really been exhausted on making this post even when I had this MONTHS in the making. Man, I seriously need an agenda so I won’t try to remember certain events that happened.

Anyways, thank you all who supported me over the years and I hope we can continue to support each other out throughout this next decade, whether I succeed with my dreams or not. I love you all. Let’s all do our best, and I so hope I’ll do my best as well, until the day I die!

And just like that, good bye Tumblr. My time is finally done.

UPDATE - February 1st 2020: Nobody is definitely noticing this but every now and then, I’ve been adding some new words into this post. February and I’m still editing this post.

By the way, January was already dismal: I nearly lost my cool with personal opinions again, but my worst nightmare yet is my eternal procrastination. Although I have at least been writing like over 100 words every few days, my constant headache from perfectionism and brainstorming a decent, cohesive and believable story will just never stop.

Not to mention that I haven’t been drawing as regularly like I wanted, and recently, I went back on using my Wacom Bamboo pen tablet and I immediately regret it.

Better not worry, we’re still early into 2020, we only have 10 months to survive and I know I mustn’t rush things, but I really hope I get to be a little more productive as soon as possible.

My Carrd.

#happy new year #new year #happynewyear #newyear #2020

[kaypeace21]

DID theory part 3: St novels/comics/spotify list analyses

*read part 2  of DID theory-first! You’ll be lost otherwise, seriously XD. First, I’ll say -I find the ST comics/ books as canon as the st movie inspirations . I don’t consider the books/comics ‘literal canon’ (cause they contradict the show ( like Max and billy meeting a year before s2  in runaway max - but meeting as little kids in s3,  or El’s age being wrong in suspicious minds, in the d&D comic Will’s friends instead of him /Jonathan building castle byers, etc) . 

So I think we shouldn’t take it  literally - but more like the st movie lists - filled with foreshadowing/symbolism and other eastereggs (That the Duffers may have told them to add). So here’s some more (possible) alter / DID hints...

‘Suspicious minds’ novel

- Brenner  equates k*lling rabbits to h*rting kids. And he’ll hurt (kid) Kali (the bunny in the analogy) if Terry tries running away from him . I wonder if Lonnie used a similar threat against jonathan? Jon could be giving only a partial truth to why he cried for a week (about the bunny story)?

-Kali “hops” like a bunny then talks about tigers obsessively (linking her to rabbits/tigers similar to the other alters/Will/Lonnie). Terry also imagines tigers and kali says to Alice they can all be tigers together.

- one of the only male psychic experiments (who can see the future) is gay

- Terry is into lord of the rings, like Will. Has her and her boyfriend dress as sam & frodo (m/m ship). Terry calls her and her friends “the fellowship”.

-when Terry/Alice were injected with d**gs -they hallucinated rainbows.yikes.

- Alice (like Lonnie) is a car mechanic. She can see the future like Will the wise and says “monsters of course my mind has them as long as they stayed in there, everything would be alright? Wouldn’t it?” (in her visions she saw the demogorgan).

 (completed) graphic ST novels (by Jody Hozer) so far  (+ other st comics).

*Jody Hozer writes all the graphic novels (every novel is 4 chapters each) - the will byers comic, number 6 comic , into the fire comic, and at the moment she’s writing the d&d series and the summer camp series (which isn’t done yet). Then there’s the occasional 1 chapter st comics not written by her.

- Number 6 has (the ability to foresee the future like Will the wise/Alice) and has an ab*sive dad. 

When having a nightmare of the demogorgan ...she says as she wakes up “screw you dad” (another hint the demogrgan -aka in d&d means ‘deep father’ ...is Lonnie).

- when number 6 and others run they say they’re’ “rabbiting”(which yes technically makes sense but I found such an uncommon phrase odd.)

- The (summer camp and d&d graphic novels aren’t completed yet) but they establish d&d creatures are based off  real life people the boys don’t like in real life. Or that d&d is used as an outlet to explain true events from their pasts -but they just give the true stories a d&d fantasy slant.

- Which brings me to the halloween oneshot(not by Hozer),taking place before s1. Will tells a scary story told to him by Jonathan, and originally told to him by Lonnie. Says the boys have to keep it a secret cause it was something he was never supposed to tell to anyone. Mike says he has to finish the story he started. It’s about a “ch*lld-eater” monster first attacking a boy near the quarry (like where Will was found) and  attacking kids in a library (where Will was also found in s1).When the child sees the sheriff she bangs on the library door begging for help-he ignores her , walks away, and tells the other cops to never speak of what they saw as she screams for help. Because the previous sheriff was in kahoots with the monster. It def had some ... uh questionable imagery too 0_0

The vine in the mouth is also like the one in Will’s mouth (when Joyce found him in the library).And of course Dustin asks whether or not something like that could be covered up.

- In the “bully  comic” (about troy) also not by Jody. We focus on Troy and his ab*sive dad (who encourages him to fight/ditch his best friend). The dad has a drinking problem (gets fired), calls Troy a “mess” , pushes him, and constantly encourages Troy to be vi*lent/macho. He pretty much tries sabotaging the relationship Troy has with his friend (which I could see Lonnie doing in the future with byler).The dad/troy is framed similarly to when Billy gives Max a ride home-  after both ab*sers give bad advice saying not to hang out with their friend (after witnessing them fight in the school parking lot). Dad also laughs about almost k*lling a squirrel (a trait we see troy mimic)- and we see El feel guilty about k*lling a squirrel in s2. At the end of the comic- Troy (like Will) after making up with his bff james- moves leaving his best friend behind.

-  (into the fire) Twins: (one was normal with no powers living in the real world and the twin with fire powers is trapped in a dark sunless “cold” world styled like a psych facility/medieval fantasy) . pics in link.She hated her reflection cause it reminded her of being betrayed by her normal non powered twin who left her behind in the ‘cold’ place. She’d call herself a ‘hunter’ who would defend herself and attack others to never be hurt again. Her powers being unleashed were described like opening “a door.” And she loves her twin deep down and just wants friends . And fire twin goes to the “other side” to reunite with her reflection and find happiness in the real world. *also there’s sunflower/bunny symbols which she lights on fire-which can relate back to Will/Terry/Lonnie etc. The twins = Will & Will the wise (mf)

Mirrors also connect to Will and Will the wise via the canon spotify playlists too.

Will playlist (song: mirror in the bathroom)-Mirror in the bathroom Please talk free.The door is locked -Just you and me.Mirror in the bathroom recompense for all my crimes of self defense.Cures you whisper make no sense!Drift gently into Mental illness.

Demogorgan playlist ( from perspective of Will the wise aka the mf) (song: are you dead yet? )-”polluted soul through a mirror I behold.Throw a punch, shards bleed on the floor. tearing me apart. but I don't care anymore.Should I regret or ask myself are you dead yet?Wake up, don't cry. Regenerate to deny the truth. The fiction you live in blindfolds your eyes. Disclosure, self loathing, this time you've gone too far.Or could it be, my nemesis, that you are me?

(*st ‘into the fire’ comic. the fire powered twin’s thoughts echo the song)

*I think this foreshadows the later plot points of mf (will the wise ) and Will interacting via mirrors. The fire-wielding twin and the non powered twin had a lot of mirror imagery. Including the fire powered twin (Who denies reality/and imagines herself in a fantasy world) punching her reflection because it reminds her of her non-powered twin. Here’s some cover art from the novels showing how much they emphasize mirrors.

*And in s4 movies Black swan - “the black and white swan twins (two halves of the same person-Nina)” had creepy mirror imagery. In long kiss goodnight the women with DID talks to her “ (supposed)dark 1/2″  via a mirror (in a dream).  in ‘the visit’ the teen girl who’s dad abandoned her when young-  refuses to look in the mirror (and it’s never explained why she hates her reflection). So yes I think we’ll see this in s4 or 5. We already see the mf take on the appearance of Billy when talking to him.

- Will in “zombie boy” comic is afraid he’s a monster.

also lets appreciate the lil byler moment of Mike and Will being the only zombies and mike comforting him. honestly , though, the characters were pretty out of character for most of this 1 ch comic (until the end) tbh.

- in the “d&d comic” mf is  (possibly) described as a “protector” (aka like how i said the mf is probably a perpetrator alter- which are misguided protectors).

*update now that it’s finished... hinting Will created everything subconsciously.

‘Runaway Max’ novel (before s3)

(I didn’t get time to read this book unlike ‘suspicious minds’ -so can’t show screen shots of everything others talked about. May read it eventually)

-Max compares Billy  to ‘her monster’ and a ‘shadow’ that will attack anyone that comes close (mf parallel).

- Dart k*lled a cat,  El’s papa tried to force her to k*ll a cat. And Billy when seeing a d*ad cat lights it on fire for a “viking funeral”. A connection to WW (who has fire powers) and El & dart.

-Max and Billy both are into cars and bond over fixing them (similar to Lonnie’s interest in fixing up cars). And since Lonnie tried to brag to Jonathan about fixing a car up and Will is into tech it wouldn’t be a stretch that Lonnie and Will were into fixing cars together (like Max/billy who would hang out at a autoshop in Cali) .  Similar to Will ,max says hanging with Billy wasn’t always so bad- which made things more confusing to her.

- Max compares Billy being beat up by Neil: to ‘punching a pocket of a baseball glove’. This is interesting since this book was pre-s3 which was when they established the connection of billy and his dad to baseball (similar to s1 saying  Lonnie taught Will baseball).

-Billy’s friend is a nice ‘music snob’ . He tries distracting Max with music while Billy is burning the cat. Which reminds me of Jonathan trying to distract Will from their parents fighting in the next room-with music

- Max’s bio dad is a criminal who takes her to shady bars, and Max fears he’d ‘get bored of her’. Max also ran away from her mom to her dad’s 2x.Which reminds me of Jonathan thinking Will ran to Lonnie’s in s1.

-Max mentions how Billy misses his friends after moving out of Cali. And he starts acting even worse-after the move. Which will probably be the case for Will (at least a bit) when moving to California.

-Billy tells Max Neil isn’t his ‘real dad’ either because Neil can’t be a father to anyone.

-Billy also tells Max who (at the time ) is 12 years old not to act “easy” and breaks her best friend’s (Nate’s) arm over  someone joking he was Max’s boyfriend and also cause Nate tried to get in between Billy bullying Max. Eventually all her Cali friends ditch her cause they’re afraid of Billy.And Ugh- why could I see Lonnie doing something like this in the future with Will/his new friends. 

- Creepily Max says Billy doesn’t fool around with her like other girls not because of her age or being family. But cause she wasn’t ‘attractive’. This whole excerpt gave me the heeby jeebies,on so many levels, honestly.  Almost like he’s jealous- and controlling her cause he doesn’t want Max to have any love interests. Maybe i’m just missing the context? But ugh... excerpt:

Will byers secret Files

-Hopper gets scared by a pumpkin-scarecrow. And in Will’s canon journal when talking about the mindflayer and his nightmares draws the same scare-crow , Hopper saw. There’s also a lot of s4-5 foreshadowing in the book... but that’s a post for another day.

Darkness on the edge of town (Hopper novel)

*didn’t get time to read this (except the preview)

 I think it’s more foreshadowing for future seasons though- cult/supposed ritual k*llings, people being wrongly blamed for those crimes-like the hellfire club , most likely.  (similar to the guy number 3 in the number 6 comic)  saint john in the novel also has the same brain control powers as 3- similar to the mf. .” When a blackout plunges the boroughs into chaos, Hopper must escape the the mobs in the streets to make sure his family is safe and stop Saint John from fulfilling his prophecy.” I already talked about here- how the next few seasons would start having more religious symbolism/a future apocalypse (based on what we’ve seen in the show/s4 movies). Although, i think there’s quite a few differences between (the novel’s) saint john and Will the wise. Hopper is also a star wars nerd like the boys (alter hint)

Canon spotify songs (posted after s2/before s3) hinting at DID/ alter /lonnie stuff-

Will  and Will the wise (aka the mf) being an alter

*Used Will and the demogorgan playlist (which i think has perspectives of Will the wise aka the mf, demogorgan, and Lonnie).

Besides the mirror songs previously mentioned...

Will (cold inside)-Doctor the problem's in my chest.My heart feels cold as ice but it's anybody's guess?Doctor can you help me cause I don't feel right?Better make it fast before I change my mind. Doctor can you help me cause I don't feel right?Better make it fast before I change my mindWell it's cold, cold, cold, cold inside. Darker in the day than the dead of night Cold, cold, cold, cold inside...Counselor give me some advice Tell me how hard will I fall if I live a double life?

El (ghost)-your ghost, the ghost of you.It keeps me awake.My friends had you figured out.Yeah they saw what's inside of you. You tried hiding another you.But your evil was coming through... living in the shade Your cold heart makes my spirit shake.

El (monster Lead me home)-I don't know what, what I was afraid of, I was afraid oooof...Monster take me somewhere...We walk in shadow.Monster lead me home.Where there is no place to hide.Stranger on the other side We walk in shadow.Monster lead me home.

 The’ innerworld’/  other hints Max, El, Hopper, and Billy are alters of Will’s

Max (Logical song)-I know it sounds absurd. Please tell me who I am, who I am, who I am, who I am?

EL(Buzzcut season)-I remember when your head caught flame It kissed your scalp and caressed your brain ...nothing's wrong when nothing's true. I live in a hologram with you Where all the things that we do for fun . Play along (make-believe it's hyper real) But I live in a hologram with you.

Billy (broken bones)-Broken bones.Stay alone. If I see only what I believe -reality's bound by what I conceive

Max (Why can’t i touch it)-Well, it seems so real.I can see it.And it seems so real-I can feel it.And it seems so real-I can taste it.And it seems so real-I can hear it.So why can't I touch it?

Hopper (breakers)-Just to keep me from losing my mind .It's so easy to drown in the dream.Oh, and everything is not what it seems This life is but a dream.Shatter illusions that hold your spirit down ...From the inside, so it seems.Oh, I'm telling you it's all a dream It's all a dream It's all a dream It's all a dream It's all a It's all a dream.”

Max (comfortably numb)-When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye.I turned to look but it was gone.I cannot put my finger on it now.The child is grown.The dream is gone.I have become comfortably numb.

Max (Kids aren’t alright)-Still it's hard Hard to see Fragile lives, shattered dreams...What the hell is going on? The cruelest dream, reality.

El(team)-Livin' in ruins of a palace within my dreams. And you know we're on each other's team

Hopper (denial twist) ( just change ‘she’ to ‘he’)-Just because she makes you feel wrong she don't mean to be mean or hurt you on purpose, boy!Take a tip and do yourself a little service...by playing a different role Ya, by playing a different role, oh.The boat ya you know she's rockin' it.And the truth well ya know there's no stoppin' it.So what, somebody left you in a rut and wants to be the one who's in control.But the feeling that you're under can really make you wonder.How the hell she can be so cold?So now you're mad, denying the truth.And it's getting in the wisdom in the back of your tooth

El (the story)-You see the smile that's on my mouth.It's hiding the words that don't come out.And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed.They don't know my head is a mess.No they don't know who I really am.And they don't know what I've been through

El (hero) ( pretty much alludes to El being a construct of Will’s mind similar to his juju zombies in the d&d story he wrote )-Who knows what you'll find when you look inside (billy’s mind)?Haunted beach (billy flashback), roll the dice.The zombies in the corner aren't amused (d&d ref).Play the part of the blushing bride...Out of view, cloaked by night...My spirit dims, but I feel the force"No longer in my hands,"  (loses powers) .I say to you .I could've been a hero, I could've been a zero.Could've been all these thingsI could've been nothing, I could've had something.Could've been all these things.And if I am unable, tell him that I'll try but underneath the table will spin the wheel and hope for gold. Oh, and where it stops, nobody knows.

Max (it’s real)-I don't know who's behind the wheel.Sometimes I feel like I don't know The deal.But when I tell you how I feel-Believe me when I say It's real.I skated on a frozen Sea.It's real as far as I Can see?

Max (Halloween)-Because your role is planned for you there's nothing you can do.

El (White rabbit... alice and wonderland/lonnie ref)-And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall...When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead.

demogrogan(Dimensions of horror)-Gaze upon the ancient face you dread (lonnie)... Passing through the doors, into Dimensions Of Horror. Haunting visions from the past, rise once more.Realms of darkness, terror, death and gore.Scream in fear, your sanity is lost

demogorgan (SCHORCHED)-Terrorizing madness. Vivid dreams. internal. Hallucinating the unknown. Abstract entities prey.Through superhuman abilities.Fragments of memory erased.

demogrogan (Calling from a dream)-the shadow king...seven spirits (7 ref) Swarming around his head.Close your eyes.Listen to my call. Our bond will bring us together again.I will wait for you. For our hearts still beat as one.Listen to my calling from a dream. (integration?)

 Maybe a coincidence or a hint at Will having both male &female alters?Billy (dude looks like a lady)- What a funky lady...Oh, he was a lady.Dude looks like a lady. Hopper (turn the page)-All the same old cliches,"Is that a woman or a man?" Max ( rebel rebel) (this was on her her pre s3 spotify list + post s3 “wrapped list”)- you got your mother in a whirl, doesn’t know if you’re a boy or girl? 

 SHIT DAD/ AB*SIVE FAMILY

*trigger w*rning ahead for dark themes like s**ual ab*se

demogorgan (my children)My children I never loved them.Why feel that way when their existence is my business?My children...feral vessals of my selfinterest...So don't lean on me man 'Cause I ain't got nothing to give.Don't lean on me man 'Cause I ain't got nothing to give.My children they're right behind you My children they're gonna beat you.My children if you let them Oh, oh, my children.

demogorgan (black dahlia-window):  I’m not quoting the lyrics you can just look it up.  it’s messed up.Based on the 1st person pov of Gilles de Rais -k**ler and p*d*rest who also kidnapped a cleric.

Will (creature comfort)-Some boys hate themselves.Spend their lives resenting their fathers... hate their bodies .Stand in the mirror (another mirror ref) and wait for the feedback.Some boys get too much, too much love, too much touch.

Jonathan’s Playlist- We’re happy family: “Eating refried beans (poverty). Gulpin’ down Thorazines (pills for a mood disorder). We ain’t got no friends (s2 ref). Our troubles never end. Daddy likes men. Daddy’s telling LIES.”

Jonathan’s playlist-Enter sandman: “Don’t forget my son. Sleep with one eye open. Gripping your pillow tight, Exit light, Enter night. Take my hand, we’re off to never-never land. Something’s wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight. Dreams of LIARS and of things that will bite, yeah. Hush little baby don’t say a word, and never mind that noise you heard. It’s just the beasts under your bed, in your closet in your head.”

Jonathan (The killing moon-guy sings this)-So soon you'll take me up in your arms. Too late to beg you or cancel it. Against your will!He will wait until you give yourself to him...In starlit nights I saw you.So cruelly you kissed me... unwillingly mine.

jonathan (haunted)-You and I both know that the house is haunted And you and I both know that the ghost is me. You used to catch me in your bed-sheets just a-rattling your chains.Well back then , it didn't seem so strange...In the midnight hour..I was busy trying to charm that snake. When the sun came up we had no place to hide...You and I both know that the house is haunted  yeah you and I both know that the ghost is YOU! You used to walk around screaming, all slamming all 'dem doors Well I'm all grown up now and I don't scare easy no more But you and I both know.

Hopper (Confession)-Now I'm on the low Confession, to a virgin ghost Admission, force you know.

hopper (Tomorrow ) Yeah, and back when s*x and amph*tamines were the staples of our childhood physique.

Max (Last caress)-I got something to say.I k**led your baby today.And it doesn't matter much to me.As long as it's de*d.Well I got something to say.I r*ped your mother today.And it doesn't matter much to me.As long as she spread. (Lonnie pov? Neil?messed up song to be on Max’s list)

hopper House of the rising sun- And my father was a gamblin' man Way down in New Orleans... And the only time he's satisfied Is when he's on a drunk

Max Poor relations-An attitude, no patience, he's paper thin.Talking over everything you have to say...Don't correct the things he said, what's the use?Can't handle violence.Can't handle violence.Learning to love the abuse you can't live without.Your familiar oppression, your daily injustice...That loser man that belongs to you, he's ruling you.

el (sweet dreams are made of this)- Some of them want to use you ...Some of them want to ab*se you.Sweet dreams are made of this...Hold your head up.Keep your head up, movin' on.

Max (Alternative ulster)-They say they're a part of you.And that's not true, you know.They say they've got control of you.And that's a lie, you know.They say you will never Be free, free, free

max In bloom-”Sometimes at night I let it get to me.And last night it had me down and feeling NUMB...And thinking back upon those days Way way back when I was young.I was such a little shit.Cos I was always on the run.Well you know just what they say-Just like father then like son.Don't delude me with your sympathy.Cos I can do this on my own.And this will be the last time-That I break down and wanna crawl to bed. “(since Billy has a playlist I found this song choice being on hers instead of his interesting- in fact almost all of Max’s songs are from the 1st person perspective of a boy unlike the other gals.)

Max (comfortably numb)-The child is grown.The dream is gone.I have become comfortably NUMB.

hopper (numb)-Honey, here I go again Down that crooked road of sin.My momma locked me out again And hung me high to rust under the rain I am NUMB( 8x)....Little bluebird at my window Sing a pretty song for me Don't you know that you can fly, fly, fly away Don't you know that you can leave I am numb.

other psych songs

Hopper (life of sin)-Every morning when I rise I look in the mirror (another mirror ref) and despise the sight of everything and all that I've become. The level of my medicating some might find intimidating But that's alright cause' it don't bother me none.

 Max (Moon over marin)- “Dive in my scalding wooden tub (connects to mf/el)...There, wasn't that a nice visit?Don't forget, a psychiatrist is on duty twenty-four hours a day in the blue room...Drink plenty of water when you take these.Now you can relax.” ( I wonder if stranger writers saying to “drink plenty of water” is secretly a line said by a psych person in s4?)

Max (Feeling ok)-My doctor says that I should take it -At least I won't have to keep faking.I know, someday I'll find it-Where I, I least expect it.Today I know I feel ok.

Max ( Going gets tough)-.No home since the fire.Me and the ash can't settle down...So I sink another round-Placebo for pain.And there's no one for to blame . I refuse to accept-That my work is all in vain...Still always remembering .When the going gets tough .That the labor of our love-Will reward us soon enough.

 Max (Comfortably numb)-Hello? (Hello? Hello? Hello?)Is there anybody in there?Just nod if you can hear me.Is there anyone home?Come on now-I hear you're feeling down.Well I can ease your pain .Get you on your feet again.Relax // Now I've got that feeling once again.I can't explain . you would not understand.This is not how I am. I have become comfortably numb.I have become comfortably numb //Okay (okay, okay, okay)Just a little pinprick.There'll be no more, ah .But you may feel a little sick.Can you stand up?I do believe it's working, good.That'll keep you going through the show.Come on it's time to go// Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.

Explanations of Why the mf  (WIll the wise)behaves the way he does

demogorgan (ww) (Cowards starved)- friends think of me as a priest.I had to show them that the weakest hands Can still make impressive fires. (aka MF = will the wise)

demogorgan (ww) (Unmerciful):I will be reborn...Tranquil demeanor.Now devoured.Surfacing malice...I can't reconcile the torment others bring unto me.I will not take any reproach.Turning the other cheek.Relentless hatred consumes.Control released.Absolved of all compassion.I am free .Look into my hate filled eyes and tell me What do you see?Surging aura of my rage Paralyzing you in fear.

Demogorgan (ww) (bodies-Beaten why for (why for)?Can't take much more.(Here we go, here we go, here we go).One, nothing wrong with me,Two, nothing wrong with me.Three, nothing wrong with me.Four, nothing wrong with me.One, something's got to give.Two, something's got to give.Three, something's got to give now...You're all by yourself but you're not alone...Driven by hate consumed by fear.

demogrgan (ww)-Orbs used as transmitters carry electromagnetic beams from above (affecting magnetic fields in the show).Silence, manipulated, tortured ...How immune is your system of suffering?Its in the blood of suffering (familial ref).Its in the blood.

 Demogrgan (Monster)-I shoot the lights out..Whoa, just another lonely night...None of who you get it, ain't nobody cold as this.A zombie (will ref) with no conscience .Everybody knows I'm a motherfucking monster. Everybody wanna know what my Achilles' heel is? Love I don't get enough of it.

#stranger things #will byers #stranger things comics #did theory

[kaypeace21]

I really like your theories about Will having powers and they gave me an idea as well. What if El doesn't have powers any more because Will took them. We know he has a connection to the mind flayer so what if MF 2.0 used the leg wound to steal El's powers.

Yes, I actually mentioned that very theory in an old text-post of mine (link of it at the end). I think Will has ESP, lightning/fire powers, and can open portals/ has technopathy (the last 2 powers he shares with El). But he can also create monsters into existence. I mentioned the many examples in a previous video , and a bit in that text post (links of those will also be at the end of this post) . 

But to describe EVERYTHING as briefly as possible. 

Will created everything the demorgorgan, the mindflayer, etc- and his ‘story’ is very susceptible to other peoples’ suggestions . He always asks his friends what he should do when facing the d&d monsters (the demorgorgan/thessalhydra) - and they suggested “fire balling it” both times (which is all the upside-down creatures’ weakness).  In S1 Jonathan/Nancy/Steve light the demogorgan on fire. In S2 they burn the mindflayer out of Will, and burn the vines. S3 they throw fireworks (fireballs) at the monster the mindflayer created.

In  s2 , the gang read (in Will’s d&d manual) that mindflayers (the representation of his abusive dad/the thesalhydra shown at the end of s1) could be killed by zombies. Will was dubbed zombie boy in s2,  and in s3 watches ‘day of the dead’ (a movie about zombies) and then writes a story about juju zombies. Will says in his d&d story “it bites your arm, flesh tears- aaaah!” But instead it bites El’s leg as she screams “ah!” as Mike rips it off her leg.  Than the victims of the mindflayer turn into zombies and become ‘the thing’. Because when Will’s writing his d&d story he’s sitting right next to Mike’s  ‘the thing ‘ poster. 

And because after being m*lested by his dad he probably feels like a monster/ a ‘thing’. In s3, Lucas and Mike even debate which version of the film is better- so obviously the whole gang (including Will) has seen it.  And in s2, he  lies to his mom and says the mindflayer sketch was ‘for a story he’s writing’. But unbeknownst to him that’s what is actually happening. 

However, s3 truly reveals how powerful he is. Because it’s not just monsters he creates . But he can alter reality itself (without a monster having to do it). When Mike hijacks Will’s d&d story saying ‘they’ll torch the chambers, sacrificing themselves’, killing the juju ’.  Will gets angry and yells “Fine, you win.” And then Joyce and Hopper do just that when they pull the lever, and Hopper ‘dies’ sacrificing himself, and the Russians literally are eviscerated. 

And In s2 Nancy describes the mindflayer (but she’s actually describing Will).

“So this thing is like a brain that’s controlling everything.”

Hopper then says “So how do we kill this thing shoot it with fireballs?”

And Dustin says “ No, No, fireballs you summon an undead army.”

But Mike actually nails it on the head when he says, “If the brain dies the body dies … closing the gate will kill him (referring to Will).”

Because it’s not the mindflayers’ brain - it’s Will’s brain! 

The mindflayer is part of Will’s army ( not the other way around). I’m making a video on it, so I wont get into it now (especially since it would be like 30 paragraphs long and it’s just way easier to convince you with all the visual evidence).  But essentially the upside down/ creatures represent Will’s s*xual abuse at the hands of his father. And in s3 almost every main person attacked was r*ped/m*lested by their dad- Heather, Billy, Jonathan, and El. The one exception is Nancy, but she’s targeted because she was r*ped by Lonnie in s1. 

While in s1 and 2…

the scientists - ( that enter the upside down and are brutally killed)- represent Will’s dark thoughts/anger about Lonnie invading his “room”. Since it is where a lot of the abuse took place. We see Will in s1-2 (despite having a sweet demeanor) have a large “no trespassing” sign on his bedroom door. And similarly castle Byers (which he created) has a doorbell and a password - which shows he has serious issues with how much he values privacy (almost excessively).

Barb- Is the part of him, who hates himself for having same-sex attractions and being in love with his best friend (who is also a Wheeler).

And the hunters were killed- because it was said in s1, Will and Jonathan went on hunting trips with their father (where abuse took place)>

While we also see in s2 , all of Will’s father figures being attacked - Hopper with the vines,Dr Owens by the demorgorgan. And sadly Bob (who “was a lot like Will at his age.”). This probably represents his fears of having another father figure- and his subconscious lashing out/attacking them as form of self-defense. And Bob (who was alot like Will) being the one that dies, probably  represents his desire to kill himself in s2, as well.

So in s3 with El…

Will feels alot of resentment towards her. El might have saved him twice (and it might of been an accident/ dr Brenner who’s really to blame). But Will knows she opened the gate . So to him, he spent a week in a place with no sunlight, food, or breathable air , having to experience that vine, dying, getting ptsd, being ostracized by everyone at school and being called “zombie boy” and a “freak”- being possessed by the MF, getting burned alive, killing Bob (the closest thing to a real father figure) and all those men (making him a murderer), and strangling his mom.’Because of her!’Not to mention besides being in love with Mike- he feels like she’s “ruining the party”. Because Mike is acting like an asshole to all his friends when dating her.

And then that’s when s3 starts to make a lot more sense. Will might not want anything bad to actually happen to El but he’s probably had these dark thoughts before.  Will even says about the MF. He says the real Mf is still in the upside down, but ‘the part that was still in him… was still in their world.’ And it flashes to El’s face as he says it. 

Essentially the Mf is motivated by his fictionalized story, thoughts/memories of Lonnie, and any dark intrusive thought Will has ever had about El , much to Will’s horror.He said in s3 that “I’m not worried about me, mom. I’m worried about you.” So the fact that he strangled her and almost killed her in s2, probably haunts him to this day- and he might of thought, ‘wish I strangled her instead’. And who does Billy/Mf look at right before grabbing her throat, and who is the first reaction shot we see when he starts choking her - Will’s horrified expression!

Maybe the Mf thought El was the most important, and that Will was nothing ( despite all the foreshadowing indicating the Mf held special intentions for Will), because he feels like he’s nothing compared to El? Will even says in s2 it wanted to kill everyone, but him, but now it’s saying that to El only? Maybe because Will wanted her to experience having such an entity say it to her too, and experience the same fear and isolation it caused him? In s2, why did the Mf chase Will and possess him at the school, when El (at the same time) was at the school as well (if it was always after her)? It’s because the Mf’s motivations are linked to Will’s feelings/emotions.

He probably also thought, how would you like a slug crawling/invading your body,  like it did to me, huh?And although it doesn’t go to her mouth (probably because he could never wish that on anyone- if it symbolizes what I think it does). She still has a similar experience. And everyone is worried/horrified but Will is the only one sobbing (probably because he thought of this happening to her before).

After this he doesn’t even help move the car, he just stays glued at El’s side as if trying to protect her. And interestingly, this is when El loses her powers. Will may have even thought. If she never had her powers, none of this would have ever happened!

Will was always hinted to have powers from the very beginning.

In the 1st episode, Will wins Dustin’s xmen comic in a bet- and Dustin later asks the gang “Do you think Eleven was born with powers like the xmen?” While in the last ep of s1 (when Will returns) Dustin says to him “she’s like a wizard.” COUGH ‘Will the wise’ , Will’s alter-ego who happens to be wizard.

Will  also has always been associated with bears (along with 3 other animal symbols that El also has).  We see a zoom in shot of Will’s bear drawing right before the demorgorgan takes him from the upside down version of castle byers in s1. Bears symbolically represent  “wisdom” like ‘Will the wise’ and were associated with the demorgorgan/upside down in s1 and 2 as well . Max and Nancy both compared demorrgorgans to bears- and Nancy and Jonathan used a bear-trap to capture the demorgorgan in s1. So when El tries to grab Will’s teddy bear (it was shown to be his in s1) with her powers. And Mike says “they’ll come back”. They might actually come back, because Will and EL’s relationship improves. Mike even tried to give El a golden bear as a gift (so maybe that signifies the giving back of her powers in s4 or 5 ?)

Will  before the series began experienced ‘dissociative amnesia’ but is now remembering the abuse (and since he’s psychic) his memories are manifesting into  monsters - he has little to no control over.

“Many survivors of incest are able to “forget” about the abuse until sometime later …when memories are triggered by certain events or when the body and mind are no longer able to conceal the memories.”

“Children are more likely to ‘dissociate’ so people who have experienced childhood sexual abuse frequently experience this. Dissociation is defined as ‘an experience where you feel disconnected in some way from the world around you or from yourself.’ During the traumatic incident the person might enter an altered sense of reality, detached from them selves and time.”

”Victims of incest learn early in their lives to detach themselves from their experiences. Some do this by pretending that the abuse is a dream.” 

Bob talks about a clown that would “come to him every night” in his dreams.  And that he ‘couldn’t get him out of his head.’ His story being a clue to the audience that the supernatural manifestations are coming from Will’s mind. While, in s1 Joyce talks about Will having nightmares and even asks him if he’s still afraid of clowns.

Even before Bob tells him the story about the clown, we see the the appearance of a clown (and not the other dressed up bullies) is what triggers Will to have a ptsd-flashback.

“clients who have experienced incest often report that their external world, including people, shapes, sizes, colors and intensities of these perceptions, can change quickly and dramatically at times. Some real or perceived threat triggers these distorted perceptions of self and outer reality.”

“Reports such as this one are not uncommon for survivors of incest and often are exacerbated as these individuals work through the process of remembering and integrating trauma experiences into a coherent life narrative.”

“There may be a “confusion about the reality of events” and the “meanings of available mental contents.”

So the reason he refers to them as “now-memories” is because they are things he’s already experienced (as memories) but he’s only now remembering them- because of his “dissociative-amnesia’ . His triggers being doors (fear when his father would get home) and bath tubs ( which are a common place for abuse to occur).

There are 4 hallmarks of a potential dissociative disorder

“An individual struggling with dissociation or a dissociative disorder may only experience one of the following or may experience multiple. Each individual’s experience with dissociation can be varied. Symptoms can last just a matter of moments or return at times over the years.”

1)“Dissociative Amnesia-The forgetting of a major event, such as a childhood trauma or forgetting (traumatic) things happening in real-time.”

2)“Identity confusion and alteration -When an individual forgets who they are or takes on a new personality unlike themselves.”

(x)

3)“Derealization-Feeling like the world is not real or is foggy.”

(x)

4) “Depersonalization-The sense of not being in control of, or not being connected to, one’s body.”

*Not to mention he has almost all the symptoms/warning signs of a csa victim. You can read in more detail here

The Mindflayer represents Lonnie Byers (psych/narrative analysis) 

Will created the Mindflayer analysis (where I mentioned Will taking her powers).

Lonnie represents the mindflayer (video)

Will was born with powers (evidence compilation video)

* And just all my other St theory/character metas if you are interested  / or missed them XD

#will byers #stranger things #stranger things theory

[kaypeace21]

The Mind flayer’s motivation and Will’s destiny to defeat him (deep dive analysis/theory)

Before I get into my theory/analysis I must preface this by saying that I will be using references not only in the show, but of the cannon comic book series, as well D&D wikia. Any paraphrased quotations about the background of the mind flayer or supernatural powers are from there.

1.So I first have to explain all the cannon evidence (in the show) of Will having powers before the upside down incident.The easiest way to do so is by comparing him to EL. They both could communicate through different dimensions (Will exploded 2 phones , El exploded a radio at the school). Both of their moms’ had “crazy aunts” - powers are genetic. Both had their brain waves monitored at the lab and their measurements were off the charts, plus they were being unknowingly recorded on video. El and Will are the only people who could touch, speak, and hear each other in the void. They both tore through walls (with that pink gunk between the normal world and upside down). Both communicated psychically by transferring their conscious- El to talk to Mike in his basement using the void (in s2) & Will to his mom in the living room (in s1). And they are the only magical d&d characters (mage & cleric).Also before Will goes missing , he asks Dustin for his X-men comic- later in reference to El ,Dustin asks “Do you think El was born with her powers like the X-men?” And when Mike says El is “channeling him (Will)”. Dustin says “like professor x”. clearly hinting that they were both born with powers, like the X-men.

And in s1 Will was described to be “shadow walking” . In D&D Shadow walking is – “ largely illusory, but  quasi-real. characters can use this spell to travel rapidly by stepping onto the Plane of Shadow, moving the desired distance, and then stepping back onto the Material Plane.” This quote perfectly summarizes Will’s power - which he was shown to be using in s1 & s2 (before his possession)- he can be partially-present and can physically interact with both dimensions at the same time. This explains how he was standing in the real world next to Mike in the field,  while the mind flayer took possession of him in the upside down version of the same field.

In fact the comic verifies Will was born with several powers: shadow walking, teleportation, and invisibility. All 3 of these powers in D&D are powers of a wizard/sorcerer - which is synonymous with the term mage (which is used to describe El).According to D&D invisibility is a level 1, teleportation is level 5, and shadow walking is a level 6 in order of increasing difficulty. It wasn’t until Will’s possession that Will truly became a cleric (which I’ll explain in detail later).

Will always had powers and  was unaware he was using them (before the upside down incident)- the only powers he used at the time were invisibility and teleportation.Do you guys remember when Jonathan said Will was “good at hiding” cause teleportation and invisibility seem like something a kid who hid from his abusive father might of used accidentally A LOT! In fact the comic overemphasizes his ability to hide

The comic also verifies his ability to shadow walk. Out of fear, he powers-up from level 5 teleportation to level 6 shadow walking.He sent himself accidentally to the upside down (the lightbulb glowed just like all the lights in Hawkins did when El closed the gate to the upside down in s2).  

This is made even more clear in the fact that the demagorgan is far away from him at this moment. And the comic also verifies that the demagorgan attacks people before sending them to the upside down.

The fact that Will is a Wizard and not a cleric at this time is emphasized in the comic as well. Clerics have different sources for their powers and different abilities than wizards.Season1 says Will is a cleric but the comic makes it clear that he is not one yet.

Mike corrects Lucas and says they can’t change classes now because “it’s fate” Will will become a cleric. But before this, the comic shows he’s indeed a wizard (with all the innate, born abilities that entails). Also, in the show the password Will picks for castle byers is ‘Rhadagast’ (a wizard in lord of the rings)

Also if you still don’t think Will has powers this boy literally closed his eyes and imagined lights (in another dimension) flickering and got them to do so!

2.  So now I’ll discuss how Will became a cleric. It’s because of the Mind flayer- “they are evil and sadistic aberrations, feared by sentient creatures in many worlds across the multiverse due to their powerful innate psionic abilities.” The upside down is an alternate dimension/universe the mind flayer previously took control of.

“These beings sought to expand their dominion over all other creatures, controlling their minds to use them as hopeless slaves (demogorgans and demo-dogs).  

“A mind flayer who decides to follow the path of WIZARDRY transforms into an ‘undead’ Alhoon- this is a mind flayer who combines powerful wizardry and sorcery with his innate skill of psionics to become a new threat. He becomes this ‘new threat’ by creating an undead elder brain (from the minds of others) and then merging his own sentience into it. Most of apprentices are destroyed in this arcane ritual” (except Will).

A Mindflayers’ religion states, “the greatest wish of a mind flayer is to conjoin/form into an elder brain,  obtaining immortality by having its life experiences merge into the consciousness of those he’s sacrificed”.  He essentially used these people to gain immortality and to become more powerful. Now that the mind flayer is this new ‘undead’ immortal entity/a god of sorts -he as the elder-brain is now “capable of granting divine powers to his followers.” In this case, Will, his apprentice.

The Mindflayer never intended to sacrifice Will. He thought he was special.The Mind flayer used his various powers to kidnap Will . Mindflayers have a power called scrying  where they view a subject at great distances and even across other planes of existence (when the gate opened he saw Will and knew he wanted him as an apprentice). He took possession of a demorgan (who chased Will down) even though they are supposedly only attracted to blood (and Will wasn’t bleeding at the time) . And in ep1, this is the only time we see a demagorgan use telekenesis to unlock Will’s house door. This is because it wasn’t a normal demogorgan,at the time, it was possessed by the mind flayer. Also it’s interesting to note that , mind flayers can detect invisibility- a “ spell that allows a caster to see invisible creatures.”

The comic alludes to the idea of him thinking Will is special by  having an unknown voice say things to Will such as “do not fear... ” and  in reference to Will the mind flayer says “I want him to live forever”. And even more telling “ Do not be dismayed... am your... will strengthen you... with my righteous...”

My assumption is the mind flyer believes Will’s abilities to travel to alternate dimensions without the need for a portal makes him special and this is why he wanted to become one with him, in order to possess his powers (trying to do so in s1 and 2). He possessed Will because he wanted them to become one entity together- to become a god. The mind flayer’s main purpose in life is to “take dominion over dimensions” so with Will’s power they would be unstoppable.

3. However, since the mind flayer could never complete his possession over Will’s mind. Will is left with remnants of the mindflayers/elderbrain’s powers - and this is when Will becomes a Cleric.

“Clerics are given their powers by a god” (in this case the elder brain/mindflayer)

Typical Powers of Cleric include

-Plane shift- the shadow walking was accidental but plane shifting allows a cleric (and up to 8 people who are holding hands in a circle ) to travel to the other plane of existence or an alternate dimension (that could come in handy)

- detect chaos and evil (Will was able to do this in s2)

-Scrying- “a mindflayer can view a subject at great distance and possibly across the planes of existence...Clerics have a similar spell they call magic font.”

There are also various subcategories of clerics (the closest to Will’s description was a )-Light Cleric. “Light clerics- are infused with the radiance and power of their god and charged with chasing away lies and burning away darkness (in this case the upside down). Fire features prominently for the spells and abilities of Light Clerics.”

Note that in the first ep Will was told to use a “fire ball” to kill the monster- and the mindflayer and its minions have a weakness to heat/fire.The power that the Mindflayer gave him will be his undoing. Especially because now that the mind flayer is an “undead elder brain”. The fact that clerics can destroy/control the undead will make Will a powerful adversary.

Infact in D&D lore,  “there was famous Elder brain who had many mindflayer apprentices and 1 human apprentice . The human apprentice killed over 2000 mindflayers who were about to sacrifice her to a dark deity- and there were rumors she was a dragon in a human disguise” (*cough association with fire).

So by s5, Will is going to be the one who destroys the upside down once and for all!  The meaning of his name means "resolute protector" after all.

#stranger things #will byers #stranger things 3 #stranger things theory

[kaypeace21]

The Mind flayer’s motivation and Will’s destiny to defeat him (deep dive analysis/theory)

Before I get into my theory/analysis I must preface this by saying that I will be using references not only in the show, but of the cannon comic book series, as well D&D wikia. Any paraphrased quotations about the background of the mind flayer or supernatural powers are from there.

1.So I first have to explain all the cannon evidence (in the show) of Will having powers before the upside down incident.The easiest way to do so is by comparing him to EL. They both could communicate through different dimensions (Will exploded 2 phones , El exploded a radio at the school). Both of their moms’ had “crazy aunts” - powers are genetic. Both had their brain waves monitored at the lab and their measurements were off the charts, plus they were being unknowingly recorded on video. El and Will are the only people who could touch, speak, and hear each other in the void. They both tore through walls (with that pink gunk between the normal world and upside down). Both communicated psychically by transferring their conscious- El to talk to Mike in his basement using the void (in s2) & Will to his mom in the living room (in s1). And they are the only magical d&d characters (mage & cleric).Also before Will goes missing , he asks Dustin for his X-men comic- later in reference to El ,Dustin asks “Do you think El was born with her powers like the X-men?” And when Mike says El is “channeling him (Will)”. Dustin says “like professor x”. clearly hinting that they were both born with powers, like the X-men.

And in s1 Will was described to be “shadow walking” . In D&D Shadow walking is – “ largely illusory, but  quasi-real. characters can use this spell to travel rapidly by stepping onto the Plane of Shadow, moving the desired distance, and then stepping back onto the Material Plane.” This quote perfectly summarizes Will’s power - which he was shown to be using in s1 & s2 (before his possession)- he can be partially-present and can physically interact with both dimensions at the same time. This explains how he was standing in the real world next to Mike in the field,  while the mind flayer took possession of him in the upside down version of the same field.

In fact the comic verifies Will was born with several powers: shadow walking, teleportation, and invisibility. All 3 of these powers in D&D are powers of a wizard/sorcerer - which is synonymous with the term mage (which is used to describe El).According to D&D invisibility is a level 1, teleportation is level 5, and shadow walking is a level 6 in order of increasing difficulty. It wasn’t until Will’s possession that Will truly became a cleric (which I’ll explain in detail later).

Will always had powers and  was unaware he was using them (before the upside down incident)- the only powers he used at the time were invisibility and teleportation.Do you guys remember when Jonathan said Will was “good at hiding” cause teleportation and invisibility seem like something a kid who hid from his abusive father might of used accidentally A LOT! In fact the comic overemphasizes his ability to hide

This is made even more clear in the fact that the demagorgan is far away from him at this moment. And the comic also verifies that the demagorgan attacks people before sending them to the upside down.

The fact that Will is a Wizard and not a cleric at this time is emphasized in the comic as well. Clerics have different sources for their powers and different abilities than wizards.Season1 says Will is a cleric but the comic makes it clear that he is not one yet.

Mike corrects Lucas and says they can’t change classes now because “it’s fate” Will will become a cleric. But before this, the comic shows he’s indeed a wizard (with all the innate, born abilities that entails). Also, in the show the password Will picks for castle byers is ‘Rhadagast’ (a wizard in lord of the rings)and he’s drawn himself as a wizard.

Also if you still don’t think Will has powers this boy literally closed his eyes and imagined lights (in another dimension) flickering and got them to do so!

2.  So now I’ll discuss how Will became a cleric. It’s because of the Mind flayer- “they are evil and sadistic aberrations, feared by sentient creatures in many worlds across the multiverse due to their powerful innate psionic abilities.”The upside down is an alternate dimension/universe the mind flayer previously took control of.

“These beings sought to expand their dominion over all other creatures, controlling their minds to use them as hopeless slaves (demogorgans and demo-dogs).

“A mind flayer who decides to follow the path of WIZARDRY transforms into an ‘undead’ Alhoon- this is a mind flayer who combines powerful wizardry and sorcery with his innate skill of psionics to become a new threat. He becomes this ‘new threat’ by creating an undead elder brain (from the minds of others) and then merging his own sentience into it. Most of apprentices are destroyed in this arcane ritual” (except Will).

A Mindflayers’ religion states, “the greatest wish of a mind flayer is to conjoin/form into an elder brain,  obtaining immortality by having its life experiences merge into the consciousness of those he’s sacrificed”.  He essentially used these people to gain immortality and to become more powerful. Now that the mind flayer is this new ‘undead’ immortal entity/a god of sorts -he as the elder-brain is now “capable of granting divine powers to his followers.” In this case, Will, his apprentice.

The Mindflayer never intended to sacrifice Will. He thought he was special.The Mind flayer used his various powers to kidnap Will . Mindflayers have a power called scrying  where they view a subject at great distances and even across other planes of existence (when the gate opened he saw Will and knew he wanted him as an apprentice). He took possession of a demorgan (who chased Will down) even though they are supposedly only attracted to blood (and Will wasn’t bleeding at the time) . And in ep1, this is the only time we see a demagorgan use telekenesis to unlock Will’s house door. This is because it wasn’t a normal demogorgan,at the time, it was possessed by the mind flayer. Also it’s interesting to note that , mind flayers can detect invisibility- a “ spell that allows a caster to see invisible creatures.”

The comic alludes to the idea of him thinking Will is special by  having an unknown voice say things to Will such as “do not fear… ” and  in reference to Will the mind flayer says “I want him to live forever”. 

My assumption is the mind flyer believes Will’s abilities to travel to alternate dimensions without the need for a portal makes him special and this is why he wanted to become one with him, in order to possess his powers (trying to do so in s1 and 2). He possessed Will because he wanted them to become one entity together- to become a god. The mind flayer’s main purpose in life is to “take dominion over dimensions” so with Will’s power they would be unstoppable.

3. However, since the mind flayer could never complete his possession over Will’s mind. Will is left with remnants of the mindflayers/elderbrain’s powers - and this is when Will becomes a Cleric.

“Clerics are given their powers by a god” (in this case the elder brain/mindflayer)

This idea is reaffirmed in the comic. when the mindflayer tells Will  “ Do not be dismayed… am your… will strengthen you… with my righteous…”

Typical Powers of Cleric include

-Plane shift- the shadow walking was accidental but plane shifting allows a cleric (and up to 8 people who are holding hands in a circle ) to travel to the other plane of existence or an alternate dimension (that could come in handy)

- detect chaos and evil (Will was able to do this in s2)

-Scrying- “a mindflayer can view a subject at great distance and possibly across the planes of existence…Clerics have a similar spell they call magic font.”

There are also various subcategories of clerics (the closest to Will’s description was a )-Light Cleric. “Light clerics- are infused with the radiance and power of their god and charged with chasing away lies and burning away darkness (in this case the upside down). Fire features prominently for the spells and abilities of Light Clerics.”

Note that in the first ep Will was told to use a “fire ball” to kill the monster- and the mindflayer and its minions have a weakness to heat/fire.The power that the Mindflayer gave him will be his undoing. Especially because now that the mind flayer is an “undead elder brain”. The fact that clerics can destroy/control the undead will make Will a powerful adversary.

Infact in D&D lore,  “there was famous Elder brain who had many mindflayer apprentices and 1 human apprentice . The human apprentice killed over 2000 mindflayers who were about to sacrifice her to a dark deity- and there were rumors she was a dragon in a human disguise” (*cough association with fire).

So by s5, Will is going to be the one who destroys the upside down once and for all!  The meaning of his name means “resolute protector” after all.

Sorry, had to repost this old theory since it disappeared from all the tags

#stranger things theory #will byers #stranger things meta