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chrissfawn · 1 day

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ꨄ MAKE IT UP . 𓂃 ㅤ۫ ㅤ⊹

— c.s. series | part 1 . .

pairing :: chris sturniolo x fem!oc

summary :: in which isabella decantis has to share a dorm room with her high school enemy, chris sturniolo.

word count :: 1,390 k

warnings :: swearing, angst (??), lowercase intentioned, 3rd person, chris is a dick, drinking, throwing up, fluff if u squint, n thats it

a/n :: yall r crazy for getting tense to 800 notes 😭😭 i love u guys all dearly. also the story line is js smth i ended up doing on c.ai and i thought it was realy good so 😁 also credits to maxine for the name she said she wouldnt read this if i didnt give her credits

COLD was what amber-eyed isabella decantis felt while walking down the long hallway. after waiting for weeks and even months, she had finally gotten accepted into her dream college. the brunette girl looked down at the small folded paper to know which dorm was hers. to her surprise, the hallway was empty on move in day. she knew how hard had been working and how much money she paid to get one of the dorms that have a private bathroom. she knew she deserved this.

‘ROOM 617’ was said on the small sign on the door. isabella put her boxes down after struggling to carry them for almost 10 minutes. she excitedly took out the key to unlock the door, but it was already open. bella raised her eyebrow slightly, a bit shocked that her dorm mate would already be here. she opened the door slowly while letting out a soft, “hello?”

her amber eyes met with blue eyes. “uhm.. what the fuck are you doing here?” chris mumbled, getting up from his bed. isabella’s jaw clenched as she looked back down at the folded paper. “this is room 617?” she spoke with anxiety laced into her tone. “are ya’ blind?” the brunette boy spoke coldly. “no because if i was, i wouldn’t already know that im gonna have to be with you.” she spat as she kicked her boxes filled with clothes and other things into the room.

bella picked up the few boxes and placed them on top of her bed. the room now completely silent, she took a box knife that she had in her purse and started to open the boxes up. “cant fucking believe im gonna have to be stuck with you for the entire year.” chris mumbled under his breath, thinking that isabella couldn’t hear him when in reality she did. “well we both wouldn’t be pissed off if you didn’t bully me through all of high school, wouldn’t we sturniolo?” isabella snapped.

“well thats what you deserve for being all slutty n shit when you fucked every guy in school decantis.” he argued back, not even looking up from his phone. bella paused from packing to turn to chris. her hands rested on her love handles. “excuse you! your the one who played every girl in bell borne! remember lizzy? yeah, you fucked around with her for a bit and then you cheated on her with her sister.” she retorted with frustration laced into her words. “but ohhh, no remember that one time when you cheated on her sister with her bestfriend?” bella continued, pissed off that chris was probably not even listening.

“oh please bella! you sent nudes to basically all of the guys during junior and senior year. dont act all innocent and act like you didn’t do anything.” chris finally snapped as he put his phone down. “jesus christ and you fucked how many guys in the bathroom?” he didn’t stop there. “don’t be coming after me sayin shit like im a player when you were a slut too.” he finally stopped. isabella rolled her eyes, turning her back to chris. “oh so now what? when i finally say the truth you stay quiet? is that what hurts you to know bella?” he taunted.

“that’s because its all a shitty humor chris! i didn’t fuck anybody in any bathroom, i didn’t send nu— well i sent nudes to my boyfriend.. i didnt send nudes to any other guy but him!” she defended herself while throwing her hands up with mercy. “for fucks sake chris you’re just like your ex girlfriend. she was such a fucking dick. you know you were nicer in eighth grade but when you started to date her during the summer you became a prick. guessing you also played her then?” bella added, tilting her head to the side slightly while crossing her arms. after a few seconds of awkwardness, isabella knew chris was finally silenced, atleast for now.

bella turned back to her things and continued to unpack everything. she carefully placed things on top of the shelfs next to her bed. her dainty crystals, her box of tarot cards, her little jewelry box, everything that she had loved. but it wasn’t too soon until the silence started to kill her. she then remembered that he had brought her vinyl player along with two or three records. the brunette girl carefully opened the book that held them, then taking them out. happily, isabella plugged in the vinyl player and putting on a mac demarco record on to play. chris groaned quietly as the music started to fill the room. “jesus what is this shit?” he asked while getting up from his bed to turn off the music.

“its music…” bella mumbled, quickly turning it back on. “well yeah it sounds depressing, who listens to that kinda stuff.” chris argued as he turned it back off. the girl pouted slightly. “people who listen to mac demarco?? if its bothering you so much then get out while i finish unpacking.” she shrugged. chris didn’t give her an audible reply, instead just simply putting his shoes on and leaving the room. isabella let out a small sigh of relief, thankful she had the room to herself now for a while.

. . . .

isabella was now in her nicely made bed comfortably. her wired earbuds connected to her phone which played music softly into her pierced ears. she hummed to herself quietly once she noticed the time. 1:03am. the brunette girl couldn’t actually help but feel a little bit worried about where he was. but of course, she quickly brushed it off and enjoyed how cozy she was currently. soon enough, a loud thud hit the door. isabella’s eyebrow raised slightly while lazily getting out of bed.

the brunette walked over to the door, taking out one earbud while opening it. her eyes met chris’ eyes. his hair stook out everywhere and some of it stuck to his forehead, his hand holding a bottle of something, his eyelids droopy, and his scent reeking of alcohol and his cheap cologne. “jesus what did you do?” bella asked while moving to the side to let chris in. “mmmhh” he rather giggled. he belly-flopped onto his bed and wiggled around on it for a while, bella assuming he was trying to get comfortable. “are you.. drunk?” she asked, crossing her arms. “don’t be ridicu-lush.. ‘m not that drunk.” he slurred while continuing to giggle like a baby.

isabella hesitated, but she grabbed the bottle that was in his grasp. “jesus! vodka chris?” she groaned in annoyance. he let out a small hiccup in reply that kinda made her laugh. isabella just watched him wriggle around in his bed before his body shot up. “what now?” she mumbled. “im gonna throw up.” chris groaned as he quickly ran to the bathroom that was connected to the dorm. the brunette girl ran after the boy as he kneeled down in-front of the toilet to throw up. isabella who had emetophobia, was also not doing well. her fingers lightly held chris’ front pieces of hair back with one hand patting his back gently, trying not to look at the throw up.

“there ya go..” she whispered quietly. after he was done doing his thing, isabella grabbed a plastic cup and filled it up with tap water. “here, drink some water.” the brunette said, then flushing the toilet. chris gladly took the cup of water and took little sips. “feel better?” she asked as she leaned against the sink counter, looking down at chris on the floor. “hm, i think ‘m still drunk.” he admitted, putting the cup down. isabella hummed quietly, nodding her head as she stuck out a hand to help chris up. “get some sleep.” she suggested while walking chris back into the room. “m’kay..” he babbled while quickly flopping back on his bed.

the amber-eyed girl turned off the bathroom lights then walked over to her bed. she had also decided to go to sleep. isabella turned off her lamp and put her phone to charge. her body slid underneath her sheets and blankets. she heard chris snore like a truck, “great.” she thought. honestly though, she didn’t mind it that much. after staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, she quickly fell asleep.

a/n ;; STARTING MY FIRST SERIES 🙀🙀🙀 this might be a bit messy for the first part but i do hope u guys enjoyed it!!

taglist :: @espressomads @mattsluttywaist @sturniol0s @luverboychris

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x fem!oc #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo angst #light angst #fluff if you squint #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #chrissfawn #matt sturniolo x you

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silenthillbunni · 3 months

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apparently im in my audiobook era now.... ૮꒰⸝⸝> <⸝⸝꒱ა

#like the only books i get thru atm are audiobooks #i used to have such a hard time w them #i only listened to horse audiobooks when i was a kid lmao #and then there was a period where i listened to audiobooks when i had a migraine nd used a coldpack T-T #but then my neighbors got too noisy so i stopped that #buuuut now bc of all the constant noise i cant rlly listen to music anymore #music makes my heart race nd so many sounds in it makes me think it's my neighbor banging smth skksks #so that made me get back into audiobooks bc i need to listen to smth that isnt music #nd podcasts dont work bc.. i find them boring + if they laugh or suddenly yell i get stressed out #i cant say... im 100% following along in the audiobooks but i do get the overall story #at least im still reading books one way since i cant focus on actually sitting down nd reading myself bc of all the noise

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craycraybluejay · 4 months

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people think i'm "rude" for being too blunt/too honest but if i took some kind of uncontrollable truth-telling serum i would be actually suicide-inducingly horrible to be around. i'm honest but trust that i take care to be much more polite, fair, and controlled at most times than I want to. you could not take 5 minutes of me blurting out everything that goes on in my brain in gruesome detail, especially pertaining to You specifically. kindness and courtesy are neither a weakness nor proof of some inherent purity. they are a bore of a chore. and while it is an incredibly irritating chore it is required in order to exist (less) hassled by society.

idk. it's truly annoying to spend much effort and energy on all of everything alone. and after accepting no help will come your way, no ackmowledgement or reward for your work comes either. and not only. instead comes punishment. punishment for the grave sin of not being good enough at pretending like i love small talk and not being good enough at kissing ass and not being good enough at neither keeping my head down and doing nothing nor making waves. not being good enough no matter which way you turn, what weight you pull, how much pain you opt to ignore in favour of pushing onward. there is no prize, no safe space, there is only the anger in the meaningless and base fight to survive. hatred, death, despair, the deep wells of agony. and within it all a part of you screams itself hoarse and then quiet to break the dam. at such high capacity, it doesnt matter of its toxic sludge or just water. "just water" kills everything in its path. tsunamis, typhoons, tropical storms, rainstorms, deadly hail... a little bit builds up and in the right place it can be cried out, or redirected, or simply evaporate in the warm, kind, invigorating rays of the sun. but what then if there is no place for that kind of thing. you are the river above a city and you grow and you grow and come the next storm you may just flatten it all to nothing with everyone inside. the dam allows no space to move or grow smaller. you grow so big you don't know if it's even a river anymore. what you are is some strange unnatural body with a riptide so intense it rivals the wildest ocean tides.

i remember the time i almost got swallowed by a storm riptide clearly. it took just a touch of the water and i am being pulled by a force stronger than anything i have felt before or again, something wild and so much bigger. a storm that no longer wants or has any purpose or even one clear cause... without reason, it doesn't *want* to destroy ships and tug people to their crushed deaths. no. it just-- will. it will do that. it has no will but it will kill you. it will destroy everything. what a beautiful terror. but why in me. tugging tugging tugging. sometimes i wish my weak little kid body got seized by the riptide and that i could not break free at all. that would be an epic death.

#rambles #someone promised me a visit to a rage room!!!! they must deliver!!!!!!#i must admit i do look down on the one that rages like a traumatized little bitch-- dog #at every little thing #the one who-- in the real world-- is too angry and stupid even to shut its mouth when it kills itself #here i am with all this anger you put inside me and its enough to genuinely want to wipe our planet dead #and here i am calmly listening to you air your pathetic grievances while i think of smashing your skull in with this hammer #and you. you... like a little baby given power.#and here i fucking am taking it and trying so hard to maintain. as if it wouldnt be such a relief to just let go #as if i havent envied you for your senseless retarded pursuit of being so unapologetically terrible to people #as if i wouldnt do anything to trade our minds and places and be the stupid eternal toddler #people think the things i occasionally say or do are anger. it is not #how many switches will you flip and buttons will you push until you choose the wrongest one yet #how much longer must i withstand this pressure with my hands under me and my teeth pressed firmly together #how many more times do i have to stop in the middle of acting on instinct. instinct to survive and fight #instinct that will destroy indiscriminately.#if its like this for long enough... do you think water can become fire? youve heard of hell freezing over but have you heard of earth #becoming hell?#again i cant sleep. the energy is suffocating. i need to be held tightly and to tussle till my body gives out #no i need to feel bones crack under me.

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spaciebabie · 1 year

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Tell me a headcannon about your blorbos that youve wanted to talk about but nobody has given you the chance to yet

I WAS LITERALLY GONNA MAKE A POST ABT THISSSSS ok ok

springtrap is afraid of water and by extension, the rain (my focus is really on the rain portion of it). idk the concept is just really interesting ta me. the second a drop of rain water hits him this scary sly bastard absolutely breaks down and starts panicking. it cant really do anything anymore, the springlocks already activated 3 decades ago, but its the phantom of the experience of dying that haunts him. the rain is a reminder of his biggest defeat. ive wanted to make some art of this but havent gotten around ta it yet.

i havent been hyperfixated on chara undertale in years but i hced that the reason you start off w/a LV of 1 in undertale was b/c chara already had 1 LV when frisk and chara's soul merged while frisk had zero. obviously 1+0=1 lmao. and its not b/c i think they're a genocidal maniac, but b/c they killed in self defense (which was one of the factors that made them run away and was mostly and accident). and humans being more powerful than monsters means you gain LV a lot easier.

kris deltarune practices laughing evilly in the mirror and makes evil faces at themselves. the murderous look they give you is practiced b/c they're a fucking autistic dork (based on smthn i do irl)

#spacie splains #springtrap is like the first character since chara and to a smaller but similar extent frisk undertale #that ive been able ta come up w/headcanons for #yes yes get your jokes about him being a dirty bastard out of the way #'oooh spacie hes afraid of taking baths and hes dirty and gross' yes i know now listen and think of the POSSIBILITIES #its time 2 get SERIOUS #i have so many Old Undertale Animations in my head from when i was like 12-14 #i need 2 think of more springtrap hcs........i need 2 give him sexy emotionally tumultuous characteristics #*humanizes the ugly murder rabbit guy*#cant stop me!

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prosebushpatch · 3 months

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It took a billion ocs but i finally have a trio that fit the Soldier, Poet, King song. I feel like I've reached a milestone.

#rose and rambles #prosie's writing adventures #now im just imagining the ocs in their own animation meme that i will never attempt instead of writing #okay so i take it back #there might be one other oc trio that fit it on technicality because the soldier character is based on #the soldier in twelve dancing princesses but he def is the furthest from a fighter of all time #but *this* trio im working on is literally a knight a writer and a prince #perfect #adding it to the playlist #listen sometimes you just gotta spent time thinking about the blorbos #and then this is a completely other set of blorbos but i cant stop thinking about rune factory 3 cosplays for them #do you see what i mean there's literally so many characters in my noggin its amazing it took this long to get a solider poet king dynamic

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munadyke · 8 months

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ok. sometimes I just want to listen to people talk abt star wars but the youtube results are all men and I refuse to do that to myself. found myself on a reddit thread of good sw youtube accounts/podcasts and it's like....for one dollar name a woman:/

#CRINGE or whatever #but like i am thinking abt themes of fate and agency and the way they change across series and how certacertain characters exist outside #the narrative etc and i just wanna talk abt rebels and how its such a fantastic follow up to tcw/the prequels in terms of its core cast and #the fact that their only commonality is that they chose to be a part of the rebellion as opposed to the characters of tcw that are stuck in #this perpetual loop of following orders and uplifting those in power & feeling as though everything in their lives are destined meanwhile #there were so many opportunities to stop the end destiny (if u will) of the prequels if only they werent so blind etc but at the same time #you have characters like maul and ahsoka who exist outside of these power structures (one by choice and the other not) and when it comes #time to change anakins fate together ahsoka cant do it bc shes refuses to see the truth #and then this is directly paralleled at the end of rebels s2 where it takes kanan being literally blinded for him to see ezras pull to the #dark side bc until then kanan (the last remaining jedi) still clings to the beliefs and structures that raised him. he cant see/understand #ezra bc he refuses to view the world outside of the lens of his jedi training he has to be blinded to see the world around him in a new way #ofc this is all happening while ahsoka and anakin meet again and we see what could have happened had kanan failed to change #idk something something the illusion of choice under capatalism & 2 party systems leading to facism #something something rebellion/change comes from the ability to question authority and find individual purpose #noooo idea where im going with this shit at the end i promise i understand facism #see this is why i need to listen to other people talk abt it i am just spewing nonsense in my tumblr tags!!!!

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survivoirs · 2 months

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Eddie boy looking exhausted in the first part of the video seems about right

"Oh, mountains will crumble and temples will fall, and no man can survive my endless call. What am I?”

~

Time. Honestly there is never enough of it in the day for Ed to get done everything he wants to do. He sleeps very little or not at all during times when his obsessions are driving him too hard. Eddie jokes about how he should just start a direct line of caffeine when he's working. The guy DOES run on a lot of stimulants. Caffeine. Nicotine. Ect. Even during times post getting out of Arhkam through time served when he's on his meds he still struggles with the obsessive side of his personality even if the OCD thoughts are more controlled with meds or his mental tools his doctors help him with. There's been a handful of times that Query & Echo have had to ducttape him to his rolling chair in his workshop and just roll him to bed ASDFGHJK stand there and make sure he stays in bed and actually goes to sleep. He's not an idiot, he knows his brain NEEDS sleep and he does try his best but there are times his obsessions/compulsions for riddles keeps him up for days on end planning out his next game. He's def been hospitalized for sleep deprivation related problems. Batman has probably done it for him before at least once when Ed's riddles and games made zero sense to anyone else. Sometimes Arkham really is the best place for him when things get super unhealthy and he just can't stop even though his body needs him to.

#he's -- listen i know a lot of things are fun and games but the majority of the BM rogues have a LOT of issues.#theyre not excuses of course but there are so many times when Eddie literally cant stop himself from pulling his shit #his brain is his greatest asset and his greatest hinderance at the same time #anons.#riddler musings.#compulsive thoughts cw

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tragicomedys · 10 months

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i really do wonder how lgbt muslims do it.

#if ur a religious lgbt muslim you’re the strongest person in the universe #if any lgbt muslim mutuals see this. this is a literal cry for help any words of explanation consolation etc would be duly appreciated #discussions would be appreciated. sources and scholars you listen to would be appreciated #As a bi ‘muslim’ I just don’t know how to reconcile w my faith without being under 50 layers of denial about it #why is EVERYONE homophobic and etc. I’ve known so many ppl who start out trying to b respectful then the more religious they got the more #bigoted they became.#i just don’t know what to think. this religion just makes me feel nothing but guilty ashamed suppressed etc #but at the same time i cant not be muslim. so basically #I’m just gonna be stuck in the middle forever and ever and ever feeling this way. <3 #i dont try to be ignorant but every single religious muslim in my life tests me every single day ever #even if I wanted to be religious. how would i even be able to do it?#my parents give me endless shit over how I’m not religious enough all the time. they control me more than is necessary bc of it. how do i #stop it all #Will I just be a disappointed muslim for the rest of my life #💭.txt #/#vent

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gothmoneyswag · 1 year

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watched be forever yorozuya and have so many thoughts about it but the only thing i can really commit to is that even when i think there’s no way gintama could possibly surprise me again, it always does. most insane franchise ever

perhaps most surprising of all was that i actually liked the movie alot, something i was not expecting given how i tend to feel about anime/series movies

#my post #gintama #yorozuya #be forever yorozuya #gintama movie #they was in the writers room smoking CRACK like dude #gintama in general makes me really antsy for some reason and idk why #had to stop watching multiple times to give myself something else to do #that something else being listening to smokingskul #and that twist at the half way point legit got me cuz im dumb and i thought it was gonna be takasugi gay ass again #gintama is top tier power of friendship story because somehow it never gets old #ill put more concrete thoughts here once i think of them and can verbalize them #cuz i have so many thoughts but im dumb and cant really think of them on the spot like this #beating my ass

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stargazingpsychotic · 6 months

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At this point I hope the next time will be successful, either in that I do manage to leave or I do something so bad it can't just be brushed off and I have to get any form of help since I cannot keep going like this

#how many times have i gone through this now?#how many times do i have to be lied to #is there a limit to the number of suicide attempts and being able to get help? because for the last couple hours ive been so scared #what am i doing to me? why cant i stop it?#why is it that what i say is read as lies to them?#how many times must i beg because no one believes me. what makes me seem a liar #the delusions consume me and only in the times i can see it can i aks for help. but no. its all lies. because its so obviously false #what must i do to be heard #i regret saying anything about being trans #because that's such an easy excuse for them #yeah. havent spoken to you and no intention of listening. but you tried to kill yourself because youre trans #that was a whole appointment #the fear because even if i wanted help when suicidal (which isnt often because of trauma and delusions) i wont get any and i could just die #fuck them and their suicide prevention. where is it?#its traumatic enough going through an attempt. worse when the reality hits you at the lowest of times #it will happen before sunday thats for sure. best time to do it #the way they defend each other when they say something awful and i just want an apology or for someone to acknowledge it isnt kind

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phosphophylight-of-my-life · 10 months

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had another fainting spell, but this time i was out cold for at least 3mins instead of just a few seconds bc i managed to sit down before losing consciousness, and no one in a train cabin of at least 20 people had the sense to lower my head so blood could reach it more easily

#apparently i dropped my entire weight on the man next to me and nobody did anything #like my family was next to me desperately getting me to respond and i was cold sweating non stop #but no one on the train figured it might be a bit of an emergency and that maybe my family might need some advice?????#probably wouldve gotten more help if i lowered myself to the ground and was unresponsive on the ground instead smh #next time i have a fainting spell im going to ignore every chair nearby and choose the ground jesus christ people #also i had too little strength to stop my family from insistently pulling my head onto their lap or their shoulder #listen to the fucking sick person!!!!!!!!#jesus christ normally im back to 95% normal after half a day #and can walk after 15mins #nooooo this time i kept getting jostled around and took 1.5hrs before i could work a proper distance #and my brain might not hv had enough oxygen for many many times it would hv had otherwise #who the fuck cares if the stone chair is cold or dirty i feel like i cant breathe let me get myself comfortable so u cant stop freaking out #im scared to sleep now bc that means losing consciousness again

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#me doing field work with someone cool: look at me im so normal. im fine. idk why i was crying so much yesterday lol #me after opening my email and checking comments on manuscript: i... i want to say and do so many upsetting things rn #i want to spit and bite. i want to wander out into the woods and vanish. except its the middle of the fucking desert and there's no woods #i shouldnt even be looking at this stuff bc i spent fucking like 9hrs doing fieldwork and my brain is fried #but my fried brain hates me hhhhh i have so much bullshit to do. i dont fucking care about any of this #and yet tomorrow morning im gonna get before fucking 6am and im gonna get field supplies together for Friday and im gonna meet a fucking #collaborator at fucking 4pm bc i cant fucking stop. but if i can manage go to the fucking health and wellness center bc im not healthy and #im not well and idk how tf it works bc im staff and not a student but i assume they have some obligation to help if i wander in off the #street. then idk well see how the middle of my day turns out bc ive got 90 million things to do #but god i hope i go in tomorrow like i just want to not have to live like this anymore i dont wanna lurch around full of bitterness & pain #i dont even like field work that much. i cant convince my brain im not just wasting time so it stresses me out #but fucking everything stresses me out. tho today it was more useful in avoiding the things i dont wanna do #hhhh im just sick to death of all this #unrelated #also fucking shout out to my sp0tify wrap list. i forgot that i used to listen to crumb radio to fall asleep so im apparently in the top 2 #percent of crumb listners lol. also my genres were german indie. iclandic idie. indie rock and alternative rock lol #i dig the idie music

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rohirric-hunter · 2 years

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I have what I like to call a “makeup-passing” face, which means that my eyelashes are dark and my lips are red and my skin is more or less the same color across the board by default, and by and large one of the most hilarious conversations I’ve ever had was when this adult woman went off about this sixteen-year-old in our work group who never wore any makeup. Now, I didn’t like this girl, her personality was just miserable and she was horrible at teamwork, but neither of those things have anything to do with makeup. So this adult woman started going on about how she never wears any makeup, and I was like, “Uh, well, I don’t wear makeup either,” hoping that would angle the conversation back towards her actual flaws, but this woman was not letting up. She said, “I’m not asking her to wear a ton, but every woman who respects herself should have a little lipstick and some basic mascara every day,” and I got a little fed up and said, “I don’t own any mascara and I only wear lipstick with evening gowns,” and this adult woman just kind of stared at me for almost forty seconds before going. “Well. You can do that.” Like she was so obviously trying so hard to avoid saying that I was pretty enough to do that but this other girl wasn’t because even she could tell it was kind of a shitty thing to say when it was that plainly put, but she was also having a lot of trouble getting over this “wearing makeup is the way for a woman to respect herself (and the people around her)” hump and it was honestly genuinely funny.

#i was eighteen at the time and not especially confrontational #i probably shouldnt have been shit talking the girl but listen she was horrible to work with #i never intended for the conversation to go further than #'i dont like working with her' 'me neither shes annoying'#but such is the nature of such conversations they often go further than you meant #anyway tho her makeup habits had nothing to do with why she was hard to work with #i think the woman thought it was another symptom of her personality flaws? but like genuinely there are so many reasons #to not wear makeup or to wear it #you cant make assumptions across the board about why someone does it or what it says about them #but yeah #i wouldnt say im lucky to look like this because i cant go to a corner store without the cashier asking for my number #but then i also dont have to hear random makeup lectures from older women who arent my mother so #you win some you lose some i guess #its not super comforting when i know theyre mostly only refraining from the lectures because they think im wearing makeup #i did actually wear quite a bit of foundation/eyeshadow/lipstick in college #i was experimenting #also the foundation had acne medicine in it and it was fantastic #some of the best ive used #but after i ran out i couldnt find the same brand again so i stopped doing that #sometimes i get wild colored lipstick and wear it tho #esp blue

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ask-mrxmts · 2 years

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hmmMm clar n toby angst n fluff...

#was listening to glimpse of us by joji n thought about toby not being able to be in love w nat cuz he cant stop thinkin abt clar..hmmm #so many doodle ideas but little to no time to draw 😭#was doodlin smol concept thing where all the creeps abort mission n ditch toby cuz he got his legs broken but clar stayd behind to help him #and when tobes came to hes being piggybackd by clar and they have a heartfelt moment that sparks their longtime friendship #i just love clar and tobys dynamics theyre just two depressed dumbasses trying to navigate thru life together 😭😭#wehHhH wEHHH!!!#*clar helping tobes takes place when they were younger both 17 btw current clar and my toby are both 25+ yrs old

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june-again · 2 years

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I AM SAYING SO MANY WORDS BUT NONE OF THEM MEAN ANYTHING i need to get all of this out i talked too much today it was embarrassing 💀💀 this is embarrassing

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dontpunchdogs · 3 months

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bleghh

#howling #i still just wish he loved me #i still have so many feelings for him. n so much hope i just cant give up on #i wouldve done anything . i did everything i could. its so sad.#i wish he meant it. i wish he'd apologize. i wish he'd come back. n if he never will i wish i could stop hoping #such a miserable little thing i am. cruushed liike aa bugg in the grouunx #not going to listen to that song itd kill me. but. its real #its stupid to cling to this shit so much but i really got nothing. i wanted so much n i was promised so much and i got nothing #idk how to let go of SHIT #n i keep thinking abt the times it felt like something. like he meant it. killing me killing me killing me

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