#i am not a Big Deal and being given funky titles makes me feel Weird lmao

[nastyaphrodite]

The Lion King (2019)

• I'm already emotional and it hasn't even started. • I'm five years old again. • I'm already ugly crying. • Planning a trip to Africa ASAP. • Spot on intro; the attention to the original detail. Amazing. • CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIFEEEE. • MUFASA! • Rafiki!! My heart. • Queen Sarabi. *heart eyes* • Baby Simba!!!! • Still crying. • Simba's displaying. Super emotional. I can't-- • I want ten Simbas. • The sunlight on him .... poetic cinema. • THE TITLE SCENE. CHILLS. LITERAL CHILLS. • Currently speechless. • The effects are so good? Like, wow. • Here comes Scar, ready to ruin the perfect moment. • "Life's not fair ...." woah okay. • Oh, the new speech lines are good. • Zazu ... still prissy. • Hm, I don't know about Scar's voice. (he's still good though!) • Why didn't they get Jeremy Irons back? • James Earl Jones returns, praise be. • Bringing him back was the best choice they made. • "Tremendous respect for the Queen." THE SHADE. He so wants Sarabi. I need that new backstory Disney! • "Don't turn your back on me!" "IS THAT A CHALLENGE!" More chills. (better in the animation though). • "Again?" what do you mean?!?! what do you mean again?!?! Backstory! • "Simba will be your king." Mufasa foreshadowing majestically. • I do love Zazu. • Just magical. The emphasis on the stars. Beautiful. • Little Simba is adorable. • "Dad, dad, dad," cutest baby ever. • Majesty in the Sun. • "Everything the light touches." *tearing up again.* • James. Earl. Jones. • The effects are ... wow. • "At 4 a.m. there's nothing to tweet about!" Zazu making commentary on our social media use. Right on you funky little bird. • Simba and Mufasa are precious. • Sarabi leading the charge! We love a capable Queen. • Ay cositas! (about Simba) • Scar's SASS. • Oh crap. • He's so manipulative. • Scar remains the best villain. • Little Nala! u.u • "ZaZu?!?!" • "I could just molt." • Was Zazu that sassy in the original? • The Lions have ... some expressions. • "We are never getting married." Who's gonna tell them? • IJCWTBK was cute. • Nala's sassy too. Were they all this sassy? I live. • Is it weird that I still want to check out the Elephant Graveyard? • Nala has some sense. • Oh crap. • Uuu, they upgraded Shenzi. Main mama. • Oh she bad. • Who did her voice?! (it's Florence Kasumba. I want her voice cast in everything now.) • Oh mamaaaa. This is bad. • The power! The majesty. James Earl Jones kills it. • I need the hyena v. Lions backstory. How far back does the feud extend. What is the deal between Mufasa and Shenzi. Disney don't introduce new story lines if you can't expand on them! • The little paw in the big paw scene. • Crying again. • Their father and son time. • Sobbing. • "Look at the stars ..." • I am besotted. • "personal space!" • "I guess we'll eat you." Oh man that foreshadowing. • The new Be Prepared is lackluster? Is it his voice or something? • Jeremy Irons just can't be beat man, sorry. • Okay the chanting changed the game. • Dictator vibes coming on STRONG. • Me currently: :O • Oh you preciously naive baby. • His little roar. • Oh. • Oh no. • Not prepared for this. • Nooooooope. • ANXIETY. • Okay they do need more expressions. • Mufasa .... baby .... • no. • No. • Yes. • Oh I'm not going to hold back the tears that much longer. • Emotions are a whirlwind. • I'm not prepared. Nope. • THAT SCENE. • I'm openly weeping. • My shoulders feel so heavy. • I could murder that lion with my bare hands. • No wonder your original name means Garbage you crusty looking lion. • Oh my baby Simba. • "Kill him." *shook* • Are they actually going to lie to Shenzi? Lol • "It is with a heavy heart." *insert Khloe Kardashian's "LIIIIIIIIIAAAAAARRR" scream here* • Get my baby lion out of that desert! • Okay but Billy Eichner was a good choice for Timon. • Timon and Pumbaa are life. • "We're going to name him Fred." • "Hakuna Matata" • I'm back from the grief. • Baby Pumbaa! Oh my heeeart. • "It's an emotional story." (it's about him passing gas) • "I was always there for you and I resent that." TIMON I-- • How much does a trip to Africa actually cost?!?! • The bugs look disgusting, thank God. • SImba growing up! • I'm crying again. • The MOON. • I like Donald Glover's voice, I really do. • My heart feels full again. • "Oh now he's riffing!" • All that snide Timon and Pumbaa commentary, I love. • Oh girl, are the lionesses plotting? • BEYONCÉ?!?!?! • Sarabi conspiring? • Beyoncé's voice is fine for this role. Y'all just hating. • Sarabi's walk is still that girl. • "You chose Mufasa over me." Anyone would sis. • He really did want Sarabi but now he needs her. • Don't do it girl. • "I will never be your Queen." Yesssssss • Scar's absolutely brilliant, too bad I hate him. • Tension, anxiety ... but come through Nala. • Beyoncé's voice is so soothing. • Zazu is so brave in this movie and I love it. • Simba out here living his best life. • "You do you Simba." • Their cuddling is precious. I need hours of this. • Awh they hurt my baby's feelings. • Oh gross, but I guess. It's accurate? • Is Rafiki really going too ... ok. • "Simba is alive" Chills. Tears. Joy. • "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" will be stuck in my head for days. • DAMN GIRL. • Oh baby! • Their meeting! My heart! • "HAHAHAHA. What fun." The delivery on that, yes Billy! • Oh Bey ate that delivery on "king." • CYFTLT. Magical arrangement. Bey's voice is just perfect. • The scenery is so beautiful. • They redid this scene so wonderfully. • Simba check yourself before you wreck yourself. • "Who are you?" • "I held the son of Mufasa!" .... oh, I didn't want to cry again but ... • THE SCENE. • "All I was most proud of was having you as my child." • "Remember ...." am I still crying? • Yes baby, yes! Go back! • "Let's go home." My heart, my heart. • Beyoncé saying, "Danger, ha! I laugh in the face of danger!" gave me LIFE. • Why are they not more excited to have Simba back? • THIS IS MY FRIEND PUMBAA, HE'S AMAZING, AND HE DROVE ME HERE. • "Live bait." • The looking back and forth killed me lol • "Why is everyone looking at me?" • I wish they'd done the hoola but the new distraction song was genius. • Rafiki is ready hunny. • Leave Sarabi alone you piece of Garbage. • I'm so glad they went with the Sarabi/Scar storyline instead of the even creepier Nala/Scar storyline. Thank you writers. • Give him a piece of your mind Sarabi! • Simba returns. • Oh this effing liiiiiaaaar. • This Scar is more manipulative than the animated one. I love it? • "This looks familiar." Freaking DEVIL. • "I. killed. Mufasa." when I say I'm livid. • Hans Zimmer's scores remain unbeatable. The emotion. The intensity. The perfection. • "Chubby?" • "I will not be made ashamed of who I am!" • Kill her Nala. KILL HER. • Rafiki came in swinging hunny. • Oh you know she dead. • LION POWER COUPLE.   • Scar really gon' run like a lil ..... • He asks for mercy. The nerve. • "I'm not like you ... Run, run away Scar and never return." • The battle. • Me: :OOOOO • I thought he burned. • She ain't dead after all. (?) • But you know HE dead. • He's going to take his place .... my heart. • More crying. • KING. • MY HEART. • BEAUTY. • PERFECTION. • KIARA! • (or is is Kopa? the non-canonical Disney makes it weird.) My final thoughts: The movie, when compared to the original, does run a bit lackluster. There is something ... off ... with the voices. Something about the inflections or was it the lack of expressions on the lions. Oh god, they could have been animated better on that. 5/10 (for the expressions) But the scenery, the realism. So beautiful. 8/10 The voices, like I said, are off. But when you close your eyes, they sound good. Beyoncé was good, and no one can say otherwise. She did not bring Texas into her voice y'all, but her lilt and inflections are so distinctive it was distracting in some parts. 6/10 (for the overall voice cast)

Timon and Pumbaa remain the best. 10/10

James Earl Jones as Mufasa still sounds Majestic af. A lil tired, but hey, there could be no other. 10/10

I really wish they’d kept some of Scar’s lines like “it’s to die for,” and the infamous “SARABI!” but I guess his lines were okay. 9/10

Some additions I remember from the top of my head. Sarabi being more involved in the kingdom. 10/10 I do wish they'd given her a bigger role though. Showing how the alliance between the hyenas and Scar came to be. 10/10 I liked the mystery of the animation, but this was good in showing just how volatile the alliance really was. Showing how Nala manages to escape. 10/10 We needed this. Zazu being more brave and not being captured by Scar. 10/10 Shenzi's storyline and her beef with Nala. 10/10. Implying that Simba grew up with more friends than just Timon and Pumbaa. 10/10 In short, the additions did not detract from the story, and were actually good. 

Overall score for the movie as a whole: 8/10

I’m sorry, it just can’t beat the original (which is a 15/10) The original was the pinnacle of Disney’s Renaissance era and this remake, while good and visually stunning, was just not the experience I wanted it to be. Maybe I compared it too much to the original. Will I still rewatch it? Yes. Am I ready to lead a hellish crusade against lion poachers? Hell yes. 

#the lion king #the lion king 2019

[dysfunctionalnerd]

prof lay zelda au??

i,,,, dont know how to add a cut so like,, sorry if this gets long I'm making this up as I go

I guess hersh is link cuz hes like courageous? and hes got like main character syndrome

or maybe zelda cuz hes wicked smart

fuck it hersh is zelda

uhhhhhhhh luke is link?? whacking all this moblin bastards cuz some power crazed thot decided to kidnap hersh cuz hes smart and got a yellow triangle

London hyrule I guess (lorule lol)

it's like hyrule except big Ben and bricks but like castles too I guess

hersh is like a prince but like only in title bc he actually gives all his money away and just lives in this little flat I guess and tries to live his best life despite having this lil yellow mark on his hand

and one day he comes across this like kinda roudy luke kid who at first hes like g od this kid is rude but like then luke brings him like a cuccoo egg bc somehow he learned that that's his fav produce ???????? point is he sees this kid has a big heart and grows fond of him and like adopts him I guess

but then Ganondorf!!!

but it's not ganondorf its ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, uh,,,, don Paulo

except hes like a fake ganon (think zant) but regardless he thinks he can rule everything and he wants that triforce!!

hersh feels the disturbance when don Paulo is like at it and hes like luke I'm gonna go see what's up cuz like technically I'm still a prince

but luke is like i!! wanna go with you!! and BAM yellow light and holy shit hes got a triforce piece too

and hersh is like wHAT

and like idk hersh is like u cant get involved I dont want u hurt so he like,, leaves without telling luke

turns out his fencing skills fall short of don paulos nast magic given to him and he get Kidnapped like a Loser

and the adventures of luke begins I guess

so like luke is out there solving puzzles and fucking up ancient temples n shit I guess and he meets emmy!! who gives him his horse!!

but it's a donkey

anyways they're best friends now

oh along the way he meets some random ass dude called randall?? luke nonchalantly tells him everything bc hes a roudy kid and suddenly this weirdo is super interested and worried?? weird

luke noticed randall is like Not So Suddenly following him but by the 3rd temple he figures this guy isnt actually getting in the way so it's like whatever I guess

but still creepy so he confronts the guy and hes like Hey!!! What the Fuck!!!

and randall confesses that when hersh and he were kids they lived in a big castle together and were best friends!!!

but then hersh hated the bougie 1% castle life and left without telling randall. bummer!

and Randall's been like searching for him since

now we know why hersh always absolutley refused to give his name to the papers!!

also hes a prince that would totally suck if the media knew it was him

anyway so luke and randall team up now and face don paulo

turns out randall ain't shit at fighting but he does know where some cool ass sword is (think of him as like navi or midna. he provides info)

luke has some generic but kinda powerful sword now yay ! time to fuck up some temple bc randall thinks that's smart

in the temple luke gets some kind of magic violin then??? and he can like,,,,,, aquire the power of the animals r some bs like that

time to head to don paulos

theres this big dialogue where luke is like gIVE ME BACK MY BEST FRIEND and don paulo is like Haha u ain't shit kid

turns out he is and don Paulo gets fucking destroyed

but????? no clue to hershs whereabouts when this fool falls???

and suddenly BAM luke gets taken by the hand by this weird but oddly familiar guy in this funky top hat and top hat man just fucking tears luke away from the now crumbling castle room place

luke is like hey What The Fuck

and top hat man is like you have a terrible fate ahead of you but you must save the prince

did I forget to mention luke doesnt know hersh is a prince

so luke is like prince????????

and top hat man is like yea so now u gotta go to this one shithole village nobody knows of and speak to the one the call buffoon

and the top hat man vanishes in a cryptic wave of leaves I guess

randall was there I guess but he only saw top hat man for like 1 second at the end and just fucking sCREAMS

and luke is like what the fUCK is going on

and randall is like do u not know??? r u serious??? but figures it's best he not know yet if this is what top hat man intended

so they go to shithole village and ???? it is not a buffoon, but flora!!

and this time flora is IMPORTANT and VITAL to the plot

flora is like hello they call me buffoon but I'm actually just a lesbian girl everyone here is just home of phobia

and luke is like wow hey cool literally the rest of London hyrule doesnt care pls leave shithole village

and flora is like I cant!! I'm protecting the master sword!

the master sword

floral like dont fcking touch it

luke touches it like an idiot

so luke pulls that shit out and darkness sweeps over the place

and oh dear heres the root of don paulos power!! turns out is Descoganon behind it all

luke tries to fight descole but like too powerful so he gets a Defeat

descoles like buahahahahaha u fool this isnt even my final form and he fuckin dives to finish off luke

but!

top hat man!

he like appears in front of luke and is devoured but descoganons darkness

but before that his top hat falls off and !!!!!!!! wow what a surprise its hersh

luke is like NO I was a FOOL I was too BRASH!! I am not courageous, but dumb!

and Randall's crying I guess but hes like it's not ur fault

and floras like I'm mad at u for pulling out that sword but I mean hes right in order to defeat descole u need to strike him with that sword

so of to descoganons we go!

oh yeah flora joined the team bc turns out shes a fucking BADASS magician

also she constantly gives randall shit for not being able to fight

you thought you heard the last of Emmy but no!! shes back again bc I said so!!!

she wants to join the team too and luke is like cool more horses

everyone's has a cool ass horse except luke who has his dumb lil DONKEY

hes pissed but also grateful he doesnt have to walk by foot but also a fucking donkey???? seriously???

and emmy's like fucking deal with it you whiny ass man

so yeah master sword and magic violin in hand luke calls upon the animals to aid him in battle and it's off to descoles we go!!!

wow this place is DARK

and also the iconic castle that everyone cherishes is now in ruins

and in the most concentrated area of darkness is hersh trapped, glowing just a little bit but fading fast

and luke is like FACE ME DESCOLE U COWARD

and he does

and hes like boutta lose again and flora is like NO! I awaken ur full power!!

and his triforce glows!!!! he is powerful! full of courage!

but descole starts fucking tearing appart in laughter

hes glowing too! he has a triforce too!! he has them all

if you've ever played any zelda game ever this is when descole turns into some pig

but alas by the power of the magic animal violin and the master sword he is defeated

flora dealt the most damage and at the end she was like luke u gotta stab him now and he was like uh ok I guess

voila!! hersh is no longer trapped in darkness!! nor is the rest of London

oh yeah Randall's gay for hersh duh first thing he does is run to him being like remember me???? doesnt matter I'm nursing you to health now

bc I SAID SO

oh but first luke runs to him crying and hugs him and is like pls dont ever leave like that again dad

and hersh is like did.... did u call me dad??? and he cries too and they hug

(except halfway through hersh collapses and luke is struggling to try and keep him from falling. how did this weak boy defeat such an all powerful being?????)

yeah hersh and randall get married flora gets a gf and happily ever after

oh and claire is like the goddess of London who made the damn triforce bc why the fucking hell not

so anyways yeah uhhhhhh someone tell nintendo to fucking hire me

#long post #professor layton #the legend of zelda #zelda au #hershel layton #luke triton #emmy altava #flora reinhold #randall ascot #ranlay #sorry its 6am i havent slept yet and i got struck with a goddamn stroke of fucking genius #im not making this fanfic tho someone else can do that if they want i guess #claire foley

[bodycountgame]

Since you don't want to be called an author, how would you feel about being called Director Nell? Technically, this is written, directed, and produced by you in the Body Count universe. That's how I look at it. For some reason calling you by your first name seem inappropriate? IDK.

Director Nell feels a bit like I'm running a bizarre dictatorship lmao please just call me Nell. I promise, it's fine, I'm actively requesting it.

#about nell #please i beg of thee #0 formality required #i am not a Big Deal and being given funky titles makes me feel Weird lmao #nell is fine #it's just my name

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 16th September 2018

Pretty uninteresting week on the charts today so maybe this episode might be short. I hope not but on the weekend you’ll be getting BLAST TO THE PAST so maybe Snoop Dogg will be a bit more interesting and provide me with some more material. Anyway, top 10.

Top 10

“Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith stays still at the number-one spot, and if that’s not a pretty apt depiction of the charts this week, I don’t know what is; that song feels like it lasts 10 times the actual length.

Also not moving is “Eastside” by benny blanco, Khalid and Halsey, at the runner-up spot, an equally worthless song.

We have a debut at number-three today, fuelled by the YouTube streams (it’s probably only here because they have recently started to count on the UK Singles Chart) and YouTube memes. That song would be “I Love It” by Lil Pump and Kanye West featuring additional vocals from Adele Givens. I’ll talk about this song more when we get to the new arrivals.

At number-four, we have a one-space increase for “Body” by Loud Luxury and brando, and I’m not exactly bothered by that, although a closer look at the lyrics reveal them as pretty... dodgy.

Talking about dodgy men, we have “Taste” by Tyga and Offset moving up three spots to number-five.

“Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille has gone up nine spaces to enter the top 10 at number-six, for some reason.

“Girls Like You” by Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B is also up three spots to number-seven.

Oh, remember the three Eminem songs we had in the top 10 last week? Well, they’re still there, and now they’re consecutive. “Fall” featuring Justin Vernon is up a spot to number-eight... why?!

“Lucky You” featuring Joyner Lucas is down three spots to number- nine.

Finally, “The Ringer” is a whopping six spaces down to number-ten. Oof.

Climbers

There is only a single climber here. Yeah, yikes, it was quite boring here. Other than the top 10 and a couple small climbers for songs by Freya Ridings, Jess Glynne and a couple others, that aren’t worth mentioning, we have “Be Alright” by Dean Lewis moving up eight positions to #27. Nice song.

Fallers

We don’t even have much of these... there are quite a lot of fallers at about one space or two down but otherwise, yeah, there are just a few worthwhile decreases here. “Shotgun” gets its streaming cut in half as part of a chart rule, forcing it down 14 spaces to #17, “In My Feelings” by Drake featuring City Girls is collapsing down the charts, with a whopping 14-spot decrease right to #21, whilst “Rise” by Jonas Blue and Jack & Jack is down eight positions to #32, as is “Solo” by Clean Bandit and Demi Lovato down to #36. There are also two five-spot falls for “Youngblood” by 5 Seconds of Summer and “Jackie Chan” by Tiesto and Dzeko featuring Preme and Post Malone, down to #30 and #38 respectively.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

We don’t have all too many big dropouts this week, but there are a lot of smaller ones that were pretty expected like “If You’re Over Me” by Years & Years out from #34, “Ring Ring” by Jax Jones featuring Mabel and Rich the Kid from #37, “LO(V/S)ER” by AJ Tracey off the debut from #38, “Only You” by Cheat Codes and Little Mix from #39 and “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME” by the 1975 from #40 (please, stay out!).

As for returning entries, we have “This is Me” by Keala Settle and the Greatest Showman Ensemble because it can’t leave the freaking charts apparently to #40, as well as that confusingly-credited “Ay Caramba” song by Fredo, Young T & Bugsey and their weirdly-titled record label Stay Free Get Lizzy back to #39.

IN MEMORIAM

“What’s the Use?” – Mac Miller featuring Snoop Dogg, Thundercat, Dam-Funk and Syd

I’m sure you all know of Mac Miller’s tragic death on September 7th due to what I believe is a drug overdose. I was never a massive fan of his music, his lazy flow never appealed to me and personally his production could be hit-and-miss. At 26 though, a clearly great talent with a lot of musical growth and potential, who touched a lot of peoples’ hearts with his songwriting, being lost, is awfully sad, and one of the recent musical deaths I’ve actually taken to heart and cared a great deal for, enough to check out more of his stuff at least. I’m not covering the song that charted on the UK Singles Chart – it didn’t get into the top 40, and I’m rather indifferent on it – so, instead, I figured I’d talk just a little bit about one of my favourites off of Swimming, “What’s the Use?” featuring uncredited vocals from Snoop Dogg, Thundercat, Dam-Funk and Syd. The track, produced by Pomo, also the man behind Anderson .Paak’s “Am I Wrong” (one of my favourite songs of the decade), has some of the essential elements of synth-funk, with a smooth falsetto vocal from Mac Miller in the hook, a freaking great bassline, and really pretty synths serving as the base for the handclaps that perfectly encapsulate Mac’s lyrics and performance – they’re not energetic, in fact, they’re just kind of there... with very little effort or charisma, like Mac’s vocals, where he’s clearly hopeless and careless about what he’s singing about, which is, shocker of the century, drug addiction, which he has since grown numb to, and it’s just become part of the routine. Oh, and I love how is flow is ever slightly off throughout, it adds a more natural touch. Thundercat’s bridge is pretty heavenly too, and the ever-so-subtle Snoop Dogg vocals are quirky and do their job well; if you add Snoop Dogg to a track, you will most likely never fail, he just has too much charisma to ever ruin a song, I love him for that. Great track, check it out. Rest easy, Mac.

NEW ARRIVALS

#31 – “RAP DEVIL” – Machine Gun Kelly

Okay, so, I’ve heard “KILLSHOT”. Eminem, basically on auto-pilot, still destroyed Kelly, and that’s because Kelly doesn’t seem to be able to stir up the anger that is clearly being felt from how Em’s disappointed him as a fan (trust me, I’ve been there) in any way that seems visceral or even interesting compared to Eminem’s thirsty verse in “KILLSHOT” that even Em sounded bored recording. The beat is actually pretty good, with the simple guitar strumming being covered by a lot of distortion and some skittering trap percussion, as with Ronny J’s typical style, but it’s pretty effective, especially when the distortion and drums cuts out in the intro and bridge. Meanwhile, Kelly has an autotuned hook where he rhymed “let’s talk about it” with itself, petty and moronic references to how Eminem’s beard is weird and how he’s named after confectionary (really, Kelly? That’s the best you could come up with?), an admittedly nice delivery at some points (especially during the “f**k the Rap God, I’m the Rap Devil” passage, where he flows pretty nicely and the lines are actually pretty hard; not hard-hitting but work very well with Kelly’s aggressive and faster style), backing vocals desperately trying to prove anything Kelly says is worth listening to by repeating “facts!”, and finally, how the real Slim Shady can’t stand up. Yeah, that’s a hilariously pathetic line, not in concept but how the beat cuts out for such an uninteresting line, and that’s how he ends the second verse. It’s pretty funny, but the song itself? Not exactly worth it. Sorry.

#15 – “Electricity” – Silk City and Dua Lipa

So, this is a song featuring vocals from Dua Lipa, and partly written by Mark Ronson, Florence Welch and Diplo. Recipe for success, right? Well, not exactly, but it’s awful at all, in fact I’d argue it’s pretty damn good for what it is. Yes, it’s a tad underwritten, but do these dancefloor-filler house tracks need much of that to be fun, energetic bops? No, of course, they don’t, and this song succeeds in being just that, with some beautiful vocals from Dua Lipa, who proves to be a perfect base for the deeper pitch-shifted vocals in the drop, and a pretty nice piano melody, with a great bassline to boot, as well as some pretty interesting vocal samples in the bridge that appear alongside some cloudy synths. Much like the last song I reviewed by EDM producers that featured Dua Lipa, “One Kiss”, it’s a good song, but it’s not anything I’m able to really talk much about. It’s not void of any discussion, and I expect this to stick around on the charts for a while (at least in the UK), but it doesn’t exactly give me much material. Oh, and the outro with the “woo-hoo!” ad-lib and the funky guitar strumming is such a great ending, albeit slightly unfitting. It’s alright and I’d definitely recommend it for someone looking for these types of tracks, but that’s as much as I can say about it.

#3 – “I Love It” – Lil Pump and Kanye West featuring Adele Givens

This is “I Love It”, a song presumably taken from both Pump and Kanye’s upcoming albums, featuring a sample (and a video cameo) from comedian Adele Givens, and a video featuring Kanye and Pump being trapped in blocky ROBLOX suits and overly-large shoes while following Givens, dressed somewhat like an angel, in a grey hallway, that premiered at the Pornhub Awards, which Kanye creatively directed. Can’t make this up, folks.

The song that was pretty blatantly rushed last minute so that the video would serve any purpose, and in an attempt for Kanye to get some more chart success after how ye performed, is also pretty humorous, actually, and it’s not like it’s all that terrible, either. It’s got a nice enough bassline – possibly stolen from T-Pain but that’s besides the point -  but that’s all it has, and I’m not over exaggerating all that much here; other than the percussion and the vocals, starting off with a decent enough introduction from Adele Givens, sampled from a Def Jam comedy special, that is actually kind of funny to be fair to Givens here, but then it continues down the road to an awful feature from Lil Pump, where he ditches his yelling for a more melodic, autotuned style as he croons about how his girl is such a hoe and he loves it. That’s completely fine, until he talks about telling her cousin that he’s with her, and then banging that cousin, or her sister as he’s apparently oblivious because he does so much Xans or whatever, and then, in shock and pure disgust, he exclaims what I’m pretty sure is the ROBLOX death sound and the beat cuts out to show his genuine anger at how “she take lines”. I thought you loved her (or her cousin, or her sister) because she was a freak, what’s wrong with her taking cocaine? Man, I didn’t think I’d be able to find plot holes in a Lil Pump song this easily considering the lack of even trying for any substance in the subject matter but anyway, after Pump makes up some words, shouts out both London and Smokepurrp and repeats the chorus again, we get a skit from Kanye which is just there to fill out the runtime... as is the mind-numbing repetition of “I’m a sick f**k, I like a quick f**k, whoop!” After about four or five takes at the line, he starts rapping about how if you perform oral sex with him, he’ll buy you a sick truck... and he delivers on his promise, Kim got a green Mercedes-Benz back in August. To be fair to Ye here, he puts more effort in comedic delivery than Pump, so some of his lines can actually pass off as at least partly humorous, like “How you start a family? The condom slipped up”. And after a few filler lines that rhyme “hoe s**t” and “more s**t” with itself two or three times, Kanye’s done and basically the song’s done. It’s really not worth your time unless you’re watching the video. The official clean version on Spotify is somehow even more incompetent than the song though, it’s bloody hilarious.

Conclusion

Best of the Week goes to Silk City and Dua Lipa for “Electricity”, because at least they tried, and Worst of the Week goes to Kanye West, Lil Pump and Adele Givens for “I Love It”. I like all three of these guys, I just wish they were able to come out with something more worth my time combining all their strengths. See ya next time!

[tune-collective]

The 20 Best deadmau5 Songs

The 20 Best deadmau5 Songs

He may not be one for metaphors or lofty album titles, he may not know how to refrain from weighing in on any given subject, he may not really know how to play a bunch of traditional instruments, but Joel Zimmerman, aka deadmau5, is absolutely one of electronic dance music’s greatest producers.

He’s quite prodigious with eight studio albums released in 10 years, a successful label that helped spawn Skrillex and others, and his own music production Master Class series. You get the feeling he does everything the hard way, but he somehow does it so well.

Here’s a list of the 20 best deadmau5 songs to date, in our critical opinions. Enjoy, and feel free to disagree.

20. deadmau5 – “Bot”

For Lack of a Better Name is deadmau5’s fourth studio album and one that cemented the noise artist as one of the greats. It spawned tons of hits, and while “Bot” isn’t the LP’s grandest achievement, it is one of deadmau5’s most interesting songs. It’s full of wacky textures and frog noises. It sounds like the tribal music of exotic aliens who dwell in some kind of fantastic cyber jungle.

19. deadmau5 – “Alone With You”

This glittering bit of progressive house come from Random Album Title, deadmau5’s beautiful third LP. The persistent beat keeps bodies moving through the sparkling, melodic mist. It’s the kind of emotional build one happily and aimlessly explores over and over again.

18. deadmau5 – “Closer”

That exciting five-note progression should be instantly recognizable as John Williams’ alien-speak melody in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Daft Punk also used the sample, officially titled “Wild Signals,” as the intro to its Alive 2007 set, but deadmau5 takes the motif and turns it into something even grander. He deviates after the first two minutes, though those five notes continue to make their way in and out of the melodic lines. Maybe the aliens are listening.

17. deadmau5 – “Snowcone”

The first official single from deadmau5′ latest album, W:/2016Album, earns its name. It’s light and airy atmosphere captures the feeling of a light snow, and as we move forward into the beat, we find ourselves exploring deadmau5 hidden love of hip-hop rhythm. Kanye West and Pete Rock are fans. They shared a video of themselves listening to it in the studio, upon the reception of which deadmau5 announced “Snowcone” as one of his favorite songs on the new LP.

16. deadmau5 – “Infra Turbo Pigcart Racer”

Track five from while(1has got to be one of the most unique weapons in deadmau5′ musical arsenal. At just more than nine-and-a-half-minutes, it tells the supersonic story of, well, let’s pretend it really is a piggy racecar driver. It’s called Fast and the Furriest, and it is all about one adrenaline junky porker who makes his way into the Tron world and unlocks the true supersonic potential of those light bikes. Alright, I just made all that up, but doesn’t it sound like that?

15. deadmau5 – “Hi Friend”

This song perfectly captures the vibe of going out to your favorite nightclub and running into everyone you know and love. Lots of electro, heaps of filters, and dope party raps from MC Flipside.

14. deadmau5 – “Aural Psynapse”

Though it appears on 2011’s 5 Years of mau5 double-disc compilation, “Aural Psynapse” was first recorded and released in 2001 under deadmau5′ former alias Halcyon441, another Joel Zimmerman screen name lost in the annals of time. Proving the old adage that everything old is new again, the single went on to peak at No. 7 on Billboard‘s Dance/Electronic Digital Song chart. It’s a beautiful, emotional song where synths take the lead in all shapes and forms. Definitely a classic deadmau5 atmosphere.

13. deadmau5 – “HR 8938 Cephei”

This stand-alone release never graced an official deadmau5 album. It was one of Zimmerman’s Soundcloud dumps, but it’s nothing to overlook. At nearly 11-minutes long with a distant star namesake, it’s a progressive journey that starts cold and somber, builds into a hopeful, shoulder shaking beat, and here and there blasts the listener with strong, powerful moments.

12. deadmau5 – “Brazil (2nd Edit)”

Whatever happened to the first edit of “Brazil?” Well, deadmau5 decided it wasn’t that important. He might have been right. This track has been sampled by Kylie Minogue, Alexis Jordan, and Taio Cruz. It’s got an infectious beat and an easy-going staccato synth melody. Does it make you feel like you’re in Brazil when you listen to it? It’s a lot cheaper to enjoy than a vacation, in any case.

11. deadmau5 – “Maths”

Who’s ready to get weird? We are, and deadmau5 is bringing the electronic, alien funk heavy on this cut from 2012’s > album title goes here It served as the album’s lead single, and originally, it was supposed to be the final track on 4×4=12. The anxious, rising motion of the hook is the stuff dance floor come up dreams are made of. No one can stay seated when a tune like this gets dropped. This weird little tune is a get-up-and-go machine.

10. deadmau5 – “Moar Ghosts N Stuff”

Question: Why does “Moar Ghosts N Stuff” precede “Ghosts N Stuff” on 2009’s For Lack of a Better Name? Answer: Because deadmau5 is a troll, and he does whatever the hell he wants. This creepy organ intro is bone-chillingly cool. It’s actually a sample of Frederic Chopin’s Piano Sonata, Op. 35, No. 2 in B-Flat Minor, if you care to know. The vocal sample is from a monologue in The Brain From Planet Arous, a black-and-white, 1957 sci-fi indie flick. It also is an incredible way for deadmau5 to say “yeah, I just totally changed the game, and I am one of the best ever. Part two comes before part one. -shades fall on eyes- Deal with it.” This motif is one of deadmau5’s most memorable and instantly recognizable melodies. It just had to crack the top 10.

9. deadmau5 – “Sometimes Things Get, Whatever”

Another absolute fan favorite, this one being an early cut from 2008’s Random Album Title. It’s an easy song to relate to. We’ve all been overwhelmed by life to the point that we revert to cold robot mode, right? Zimmerman probably feels this way all the time. He’s totally that perfectionist sound engineer guy who frets over everything. I can’t actually say that with certainty, but c’mon, listen to this. Ironically, it’s a pretty straightforward and simple composition. He’d probably have a big explanation for why that’s not true, of course. It probably took like a million hours of engineering to create this. It’s probably too complicated to explain, so, you know, whatever.

8. deadmau5 – “Animal Rights” with Wolfgang Gartner

Storytime! This jam dropped a couple weeks before I turned 23, and the night of my birthday, I was partying in college, and some drunk frat guy wandered into our after party and heard it was my birthday and decided he was gonna give me a lapdance. So I put on “Animal Rights” and he was like “Hey, I really like this song. Who is it?” And I was like, “Don’t worry about it and take your clothes off.” That has nothing to do with how awesome this Wolfgang Gartner collaboration is, how it’s super funky and was totally exciting and fresh at the time, how it blends Gartner’s signature “complextro” sound with deadmau5’s awesome, techy atmospheres – but then again, maybe it does. Either way, go get a lap dance from a frat boy to it. It’s a pretty fun experience, even though he’s totally feeling himself more than you are.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_esYONwdKuw

7. deadmau5 – “The Veldt” feat. Chris James

Grab your reading list. This tune is inspired by a Ray Bradbury short story, also titled The Veldt. That’s more to do with Chris James’ original lyrics, but it’s still totally awesome. You should know Ray Bradbury as the guy who wrote Fahrenheit 451, and if you don’t, get it together! deadmau5 created this song live during a 22-hour livestream. Dude is insane, right? The original version is just more than eight-and-a-half minutes long, and when the radio edit ends at just more than two-and-a-half, you’re like “wait, where is the rest of the song,” but the video is really cool, so we share it with you. This is a majestic bit of music, a perfect combination from deadmau5 and James.

6. deadmau5 – “Some Chords”

I nominate this track for Best Song Title of All Time. Basically every song in the history of ever could have this name, but only deadmau5 was lazy and clever enough to think of it. The chords in question are the backbone for the song, the musical template around which the beat aimlessly meanders. The chords evolve through different instrumentation, all the while the texture accents weave in and out to build the song to an aggressive fever pitch. 

5. deadmau5 – “Raise Your Weapon”

Heartbreak is never easy, but the music is inspires is some of the best ever written. “Raise Your Weapon” is a rallying cry, something to cling to in times of sadness. It’s opening piano notes, matched by singer Greta Svabo Bech’s listless vocal entry, welcomes your sorrow, but soon, the song finds strength, just as you will, given enough time. Bech is positively powerful by mid-section, and of course, so is the music, which eventually dissolves into a dubstep breakdown. It grips the listener from beginning to end, and though it’s a rather primitive bit of dubstep, it’s got some of the cooler noises we’ve heard in the garish genre. We’re happy to hear those piano chords finish it out, though. Part of your sadness never dies.

4. deadmau5 – “Faxing Berlin”

Faxing is an outdated form of communication, but it may have still been slightly relevant when deadmau5 first released this track in 2006. Email was totally relevant by then, but old people, you know? Famously supported by Pete Tong, “Faxing Berlin” is actually deadmau5’s first single ever, which is worth celebrating in itself. It’s also the first-ever release from mau5trap records. It’s also a constant favorite among fans, it’s slow build progressive vibe being absolutely quintessential to the deadmau5 sound. It’s one of his chillest, prettiest compositions. It’ll put you in a trance you’ll never want to escape.

3. deadmau5 – “I Remember” with Kaskade

“Faxing Berlin” is beautiful, but “I Remember” is one of the most luscious, gorgeous, all-encompassing electronic tunes of all time. It’s got classic written all over it, from the moment the beat and chords hit your ears, to the transcendent minute vocalist Haley Gibby sings into the mic, on through its full, spell-binding nine minutes. It’s kind of the perfect rave anthem, with soft female vocals whispering vaguely positive messages and chords in the tone of soft blues and whites. Something about it makes me reminisce about raves I went to in the mid 2000s, or maybe that’s just the song’s reminiscent vibe creeping into my head. I see what you did there, guys. Good game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7ArUgxtlJs

2. deadmau5 – “Ghosts n Stuff” feat. Rob Swire

Here we are again, these instantly-recognizable synth chords, this moment-defining sound. Of course, this time, we get the incredible Rob Swire, a man who was already a legend for his work with Pendulum, and who would go on to be even more famous as Knife Party. Swire is a beast on this track. This song was originally created at the request of Pete Tong, who essentially dared deadmau5 to make a new tune in time for his appearance on BBC Radio 1 Essential Mix. It’s one of deadmau5’s biggest hits ever, which is more than impressive for a last-minute production. This beat matched with these scream-along vocals makes for one of dance music’s most memorable refrains. It’s a classic. Kids 20 years from now will be like “have you heard Ghosts n Stuff,” and wish they were around to party in 2009, for sure.

1. deadmau5 – “Strobe”

I don’t think anybody would argue against “Strobe” being deadmau5’s best song. It’s iconic. It’s got all the elements that make deadmau5 the producer he is. It’s slow and pretty, it takes time to evolve, it’s got a slow and steady build, it erupts into progressive house perfection, it even carries a bit of hard electro edge. It’s just the jam. It’s such the jam, deadmau5 recently reimagined it for mau5trap’s 100th release, then he gave it away for free because he knew all you fools wanted it so bad. It’s one of those perfect electronic tunes that stays with you forever, and for that, we owe deadmau5 our eternal thanks.

Source: Billboard

http://tunecollective.com/2017/02/14/the-20-best-deadmau5-songs/

#20 #Deadmau5 #Featured #list #Songs