#i am more confused than ever now

[kuroo-hitsuji]

(Minor?) NB Spoilers (lesson 35 (normal))

I'm losing it over the fact that I spent literally the Entire beginning of the train dinner situation telling my partner that I was gonna throw Lucifer out the fuckin window

And then Mephisto shows up and Lucifer says something about fucking throwing him out the window--

Please this Keeps happening fjsjgdxj stop stealing my lines, asshole

#obey me night bringer spoilers #obey me nightbringer #obey me lucifer #obey me mephistopheles #thinking out loud #genuinely this situation would be so funny though #just 3 of the most annoying prideful bastards stuck in a box together #like all things considered Kuroo is at the bottom of that scale but they're still butting heads Severely at the smallest transgressions sfjs #tfw you have to be on your best behavior so you can convince Lucifer yo make a pact with you #but the fucker has literally Said Put Loud that he thinks he knows you better than you know yourself #and has been acting like it ever since #and that's like your biggest I'm Going To Fucking Kill You triggers-- #sitting there in the dining car in the clothes he picked out for you in his color #immediately fantasizing about throwing him out of the damn train when he goes and orders for you without even letting you look at the menu-- #motherfucker i am autistic my food sensitivities are Vast and Confusing you cannot just Do That I can't Trust Like That sgdhxlhx #like order for me absolutely the less i have to talk to strangers the better but LET ME PICK PLEASE GOD #hgkd anyways then Mephisto shows up and is more annoying than ever and now Kuroo and Lucifer have a common enemy to consider defenestrating- #I've just been thinking about it a lot it cracks me up

[pinkbowsandprettyprose]

so uh

What … what is happening with this description for episode 24 that just went up?

“Portal”??

“Earth” and “her” planet?

Deep Blue she/her pronouns confirmed??

What???

#I am even more confused now than ever??? #earth and her planet??? #who is her?? #if this isn’t deep blue but … with she/her pronouns?? #tokyo mew mew new #HUH??? #tmmn spoilers

[sunongsas]

midnight museum but especially its finale is the epitome of

#and i am VERY compelled and more confused than ever #i need a season 2 now #midnight museum #k.babbles

[serenanymph]

Ice: share a snippet where a character is taking a risk.

from the dragon ask game! have an excerpt from Witch's Book I think I've posted the first few paragraphs before but just tossing them in to provide context. (a lil long, so I'm putting it under the cut)

The clearing smells of smoke, of burnt rot, of dead things turned to ash. The snow-slush raining down is turning into real snow, now, flakes coming down from up above in flurries, spiraling and dancing through the sky. Icarus can still taste the remains of magic, feel it buzzing beneath his skin, electric in the air. Sparks, flames, fire, destruction and a cleansing all at once.

But it wasn’t him who cast it.

He sputters, looks between the dead Noxx, Rhyme, the dead Noxx once again. The feel of it is odd, the magic she had cast. It’s full of intent and power, something sharp and precise and powerful, but the shape of the aura doesn’t feel Beast, and he can’t explain why. It’s different to anything he’s encountered before.

But it’s still unmistakably magic.

Which means the girl in front of him is –

All at once, everything is beginning to seem clearer – how she knew to throw them that rope from the cliff, her anger at the Halfling, the pure hatred she had shown the AMA, even the distaste towards the boy in the market who sells charms claiming to be effective against Beasts. But what is she even doing here?

“You –” Icarus stammers. “How – that was – you –”

Crys’s eyes narrow, and he keeps his grip tight around his bow. “That was magic.”

Rhyme stumbles backward, snatching her hand back like she’s the one who’s been burned, her eyes widening. Despite that, she doesn’t flee, doesn’t attack, stays rooted to the spot with the Noxx carcass smoldering in the background and all of five meters between them. “Oh, fuck me. I could’ve – if I’d just managed to – if that stupid fucking execution wasn’t stupid fucking today –”

“Wait,” Icarus interrupts. There’s a lot he doesn’t know right now, but with all he’s seen, they’re at least, generally, on the same side – but Rhyme has no idea. Any moment, she could run or attack them or worse.

Crys meets his gaze, and nods, following the same line of thought.

It’s risky, but they have to do it, before things get worse.

He takes a deep breath, holding his hands up. “You don’t need to worry. We aren’t – we’re not going to report you, or attack you, or anything like that. I’m –”

“– ’a Beast too’, right?” she asks, and Icarus stops.

“Well, yes, but –” He blinks. “What?”

She sighs, looking him over and fisting a hand on her hip. The expression on her face is supremely unimpressed. “You know, if you’re planning on traipsing right through enemy territory trying to pass yourself off as human, the least you could do is learn to reign in your magic a little. I figured you out the instant I saw you.”

beast taglist (lmk if you want to be +/-): @sapphos-scientist, @allianaavelinjackson, @arctic-oceans, @space-writes, @reneesbooks

#ty for the ask! #if magic was a liquid icarus would be a very leaky jar #okay he's actually not THAT easy to detect it's just that rhyme is very sensitive #he does tend to attract more noxx than average though. actually have I ever mentioned that noxx is the beast term for witchrisen #I'm not rlly sure I have but welp if you're confused I guess I am mentioning it now #writeblr #asks #ask game #wip: beast #beast #char: crys #char: icarus #char: rhyme #ser writes stuff

[shivunin]

Ohhhhh oh how about "One talking to the other when they think they're asleep" for Maria and Fenris pretty please?

Thank you for the prompt! <3 I had to ponder this a bit, but I am happy with the results c:

("Sharing a bed" prompts here; I am still open c:)

(Also, please forgive my rusty Latin; it's been eight years since I've had to actually use it for anything more than a party trick. I've also fiddled with the translation below for flow. Apologies to the memory of Catullus)

Tevene/Latin:

Tuus sum: I am yours

Corpus animaque: Body and soul

Placideque quiescas: Rest well and peacefully

Fenris/Maria Hawke | 1,138 Words | No warnings

Corpus Animaque

"Let us live, my Lesbia, and let us love, and the rumors of rather stern old men let us value all at just one penny! Suns may set and rise again; for us, when once the brief light has set, an eternal night must be slept. Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then another thousand, then a second hundred, then yet another thousand, then a hundred; then, when we have performed many thousands, we shall stir them into confusion, so that we might not know, and in order not to let any wicked person envy us, when he knows that our kisses number so many." ---Catullus 5*

“Say something in Tevene,” Hawke had murmured to him perhaps half an hour ago. 

Fenris, who was now well versed in what Hawke sounded like when she was trying to force herself to stay awake, had obliged. He’d taught her hello and goodbye, then described the room at length in disinterested tones, all the while allowing his voice to grow ever quieter. Maria slept deeply now, her cheek pillowed on her arm atop the pillow, and Fenris let his head rest on its side so he could watch her. 

It had been strange to speak the tongue of his birth with her—odd, like two halves of his life twining when he’d expected them to be forever as water and oil. There was something, though, in speaking to Maria when he knew she could not understand him. Fenris pondered this for a time, listening to the crackle of the fire at her hearth and the soft whistle of her sleeping breath. 

“Cor mea,” Fenris murmured after a moment: my heart, a simple enough endearment.

Hawke did not stir. She’d rested her hand near his shoulder, as she often did, and he’d obligingly twined his fingers with hers. Fenris set his other hand over both now, cradling her hand between his. 

There were things he ought to say to her. He knew that. But even now, when he was certain there would be no leaving her, words of love refused to slip easily from his lips. Not in the common tongue; not even in the one he’d spoken for most of his life. 

Not his own words; perhaps the words of others would come to him more easily. 

“Vivamus, mea Maria, atque amemus,” he murmured, feeling the pulse at her wrist where it pressed against his, “rumoresque senum severiorum onmes unius aestemimemus assis.”

Maria pulled her hair back in a red silk scarf when she slept. It prevented her hair from tangling too badly in the night and kept either of them from rolling onto her bounty of curls while they slept. Now, a small curl had snuck from its confines just below her ear, threatening to tickle the sensitive skin and wake her. Fenris lifted one hand and tucked it back with the rest, moving slowly and carefully. Hawke did not stir, for which he was grateful. There was more yet to say. 

“Soles occidere et redire possunt;” Fenris went on, “nobis, cum semel occidit brevis lux, nox est perpetua una dormienda.” 

An eternal night indeed; they had, both of them, seen enough of death to last several lifetimes. Her pulse thrummed steadily against his own, as if in sweet answer to the unspoken undertone to the words. They were alive now, the two of them; whatever rest they might share tonight was not that long rest, but the blink of an eye in the span of their days.

There will be other nights, she’d told him once. He dwelled too heavily on dreadful possibilities now. While she still slept…let him finish this, at least. 

Fenris spoke the rest of the words—give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then another thousand—meaning each of them as he spoke. They were not his words; they were borrowed from someone he’d never met. Even so, they seemed intended for something like this: a room that held only the two of them, an unusually clear night in Kirkwall which showed the stars clearly through her bedroom window, and the gradually softening light from the fire that kept them warm. Such words should be exchanged in whispers and the touches of hands, intended only for a lover’s ears.

It felt wrong to end with the poem, but Fenris didn’t have to cast about for something to end with. There were other words he’d told her before, words he’d conveyed in a dozen different ways if not a hundred. He’d seen her concern when he’d said them the first time—I am yours—as if she was worried about why he might say that. As if she thought he’d somehow conflated her with those who would have owned him once.

The whole of it was too much to explain, too strange to say aloud: if I may at last choose what to do with my life, I choose to give it to you. I would give all of myself to you if I could, because you would never ask me to, because you have insisted on seeing me as a person from the first moment we met. 

Too formal. 

Too many possible hidden meanings, when he’d first said the words to her in those bruised days after that disastrous night together. Fenris had chosen the easiest ones instead of the explanation, willing to risk her concern in exchange for some level of understanding. 

It was easier now; he could say them with more affection, and she’d returned the words more than once. They meant something different when Hawke said them, but that had never bothered him. 

“Tuus sum,” Fenris told her now, the words feeling firmer in this language, more binding—though the weight of them was a comfortable one, words and bonds he’d chosen rather than ones that had been chosen for him. 

“Corpus animaque,” Fenris finished, his voice hardly more than a whisper, “placideque quiescas, cor mea.”

It seemed fitting, somehow, to dip his head and kiss her hand then. If he were less tired, he may have considered why such an implicit vow had felt necessary. Matters had passed tense in Kirkwall weeks ago and slid unstoppably toward some imminent danger. Fenris could not smooth her way; he could not fight her battles for her. 

But he could hold her hand in the night, and whisper to her of kisses and days to come. He could stay by her side as long as she would allow him. 

As long as there was strength in his arms, as long as he could stand with her, he believed he would see her safe. He had never been an optimist; if pressed, he would not wager on their odds. 

But Hawke—he believed in her. If anyone could navigate them out of this disaster, it was her.

“Mea cor,” he said one more time, setting her hand back over his chest with exquisite care. 

The time for words had passed. It was past time for rest. Fenris looked at Hawke once more before he closed his eyes, tracing the shadows of her face, the softness of her eyelids, the unfading smile lines on either side of her mouth. When he’d looked his fill for now (only for now; it could never be enough for forever, as he knew well), Fenris closed his eyes at last. 

It was much longer before his focus slipped from the steady pulse in her wrist and Fenris fell asleep at last.

*Base source for translation: Wikipedia

(I know, there are prettier versions elsewhere, but it's nearly one am and i don't want to look)

#maria hawke #fenris #fenhawke #my writing #da2 #hawke #i do love the idea of fenris finding it easier to be outwardly affectionate in tevene vs the common tongue #something about her not being able to understand him allowing him to say more than he otherwise would #i am going to keep thinking about this i can tell #is it crimes that i swapped lesbia with maria? maybe. but it still scans so #filed under: choices that would have made my latin professor shake her head in gentle confusion #now i know what you're thinking #and you're right: many of ovid's poems would fit them better #but i take exception with corinna being like the personification of poetry or w/e #at least catullus was writing his poems to a real woman even if she was married to someone else #(i know i know; you weren't thinking that but it's okay. ovid is an exceptional poet and i can non sum desultor amoris #or militat omnes amans with the best of them) #do you ever write a series of sentences and wonder if they come off as pretentious? hmm #not my intent; i just miss latin and the class i took that was just ovid translation #upon reflection i am deleting none of it; you will all just have to live with my opinions about the amores #thanks again for the prompt lol!! i hope it wasn't too much latin c: #shivunin scrivening

[monty-glasses-roxy]

I have two thoughts that are bouncing around in my head right now

1. The problem with me inventing horsies is that I want them all to have feathers but that's fucking boring but I the feathers are neat but it's boring but-

2. Oh my god. Oh my god. There is not a single fundamental fact Roxy has believed that has been right. Not a single fucking thing. Her life is a god damn lie. Tries to clear up one identity problem and ends up with another two. She feels like this is the identity crisis hydra. Is there a way to win here? Is there anything else that's been a lie this whole time? Is she even still Roxy anymore? She's going through some things...

But at least her horsie has feathers I guess

#lmao her horsie does have feathers a lot of them do #it fits her horsie very well though #roxy finding this horsie and fucking screaming at her for answers she's going through it so bad #fucking 'roxy... im sorry im so so sorry-' like fucking 'sorry? you're sorry?! i dont know who i am anymore and you're SORRY?!' #MY GUYS SHE'S STRUGGLIN #everyone scrambling to tell her the truth before she finds out and freddy trying to buy time by asking cassie to keep her busy... #and THAT'S how she fucking finds out cause the pair of them found the truth themselves #when they wouldn't have if they weren't all trying to buy time #like!!! yike!!! zoinks even!!! what a fucking situation!!! #the only ones exempt are the minis and dj even chica who was built AFTER all of this fucking knows #hell on earth for roxy man... i don't even know how to resolve this yet but god damn #she's so upset and so angry and so confused and she keeps thinking things will get better the more she knows #but now she feels fucking ROBBED and more confused than ever #she needs a hug okay??? so badly #she finds the horsies and they're just as confused btw. so is barney the duck... and the minis... #horsies make her smile though. they're just so fucking weird and she feels like the whole herd has collectively decided to dote on her #and be goofy little shits for her. she's struggling to learn their names and literally anything but #she made a joke to poppet the mini about teaching them to roll over and freddy's appeared out of nowhere to roll over for her like :D #i made base ideas for freddy and monty's horsies last night btw #of the two i like freddy's the most for one specific thing he does that makes me laugh lmao #he's like a forklift :)

[mrpsychokiller]

it is really weird to be anything at all, isn't it

#feeling weird. been feeling weird for so long #after years and years im still not sure #what i am. who i am. who do i want to be. why i want it. what do i want to do. how #i feel lost and scared and confused and its even more embarrassing now because im supposed to be starting my adulthood #but i feel as lost and scared and confused as i was at 15 #and i think my fear paralyses me from ever actually doing or becoming anything #a static self thats also not a defined self. an underdeveloped blob of Something or Someone #living in my mother's house and being on my computer all day because im scared to get out #i feel less than alive. i guess less than real sometimes

[writerwithtoomanyships]

One thing I've tried to learn is that there are people who will never be as connected to poetry as I am. There are people who won't understand it's just as much a part of me as my heartbeat, my bones, my soul, there are people who won't understand it brought me back from the dead, how it killed me and revived me and brought me out of what I've been through bruised and scarred but alive, there are some people who never had the connection to poetry I did, that I still do, because when the were falling poetry wasn't the branch they managed to grab onto for dear life. I forget this a lot.

#rambles #my rambles #the irony is i get hurt a lot bc of this #i say something poetic or show a poem to the wrong person and theyre just confused or just give an uninterested response #ig its why i keep that part of me to myself now #sometimes im scared ill never find someone as connected to poetry as i am #someone who understands my body is more ink than blood #idk #its a weird thought #it feels like everyone who adores poetry as much as I do died decades or centuries ago #do you ever wish you could back in time? to your favorite poet in particular #and just hug them and tell them you feel what they feel that both of you thought no one else ever would and write poetry with them #just be there #knowing youre not the only person in your time period to think in broken poetry #logically i know theres other people like me who probably feel what i feel and who loves poetry to the extent i do #but theyre always out of reach #how do you tell someone when you were 14 you were in a mental hospital and there was a rotting apple outside your room window #and it was the most poetic thing youve ever seen #how do you tell someone when you were even younger than that you saw a dead crow on the side of the road and it broke your heart so much #that you scribbled a poem (still your favorite one) about its stolen flight into one of your many notebooks #so it could be immortal #how do you explain all that to someone #especially someone who has never grabbed hold of a poem til their knuckles turned white bc it was the only thing keeping you alive #putting this in the tags bc i doubt anyone will read it

[skyborneveggie]

What happened to all the edits with that one Laini Taylor quote, "Once upon a time, an angel and a devil fell in love. It did not end well."?

#Weren't they all over the place after S1? Or am I getting confused #Where are they now after S2?? #I need to see them 😭 #good omens #I know nothing about her book. I just remember the quote was popular #& feels more relevant now than ever...

[milo-is-rambling]

Me when I want to be wanted more than anything else

#I think I’d be more normal if I had more friends but every friend I lose makes me isolate more and more and now it’s like I can only trust #people I’ve interacted with for years already #and then every time I try to make friends I either don’t respond (anxiety. not feeling a vibe. whatever) or they stop responding when I #actually like them (someone who talked to me for like four days in an row and then randomly blocked me no explanation) #I think if I made more friends or even talked to more people I’d understand how to do it successfully but I don’t have enough experience and #no one wants to be friends with me (and it’s scary when they do!!!) wahhhhhhhhhh #I need to move somewhere new and talk to strangers I’m good at that #I made more friends a a concert age 14 than I have from me the ages of 16-19 and i think that’s ridiculous #how do I explain to everyone ever that nothing bad happened to me I’m just mentally ill bc my hormones are fucked and it’s let me to spiral #and ruin my own life and then slowly painfully build my life back up and then crush it all again over and over again for years and years #to the point where I’m afraid I’ll never amount to anything so the idea of ever truly having people who find any value for me in their lives #feels like it’s fake and then when I do finally trust people I end up loving too hard and fucking it up and then I isolate for even longer #it’s takes me twice as long to find a new friend and trust them again and then it happens all over again #it feels like I’m destined to be alone bc I can’t tell the difference between platonic shit and flirting so I have a wall between me and #everyone else bc I’m afraid to like someone too much and confuse my brain bc I don’t ever want to like someone who doesn’t like me even if #it’s as friends bc I’ve put more effort in than other ppl always but it’s bc I put too much effort in and expect too much and no one else #is as weirdly obsessive and clingy and dedicated as I am bc I’m not normal and that’s why no one likes me bc I try too hard or not at all #and it makes everyone in my life family friends crushes whatever hate me bc I’m all or nothing forever I can’t just be normal #I think a lifetime of living with my mother has permanently damaged the way I see myself #who are all these normal ideal people in my brain why did my mother put them there and why will I always be worse than a hypothetical person #designed to shame me for struggling which gets louder the more I struggle #spirals cycles etc etc etc #ugh. I want my brain to turn off I’m gonna go take a dab and maybe delete this later

[skitskatdacat63]

Oh...

#tho im confused bcs i dont remember my calender giving me notifs about fp1 and fp2 #but seeing this im like ....ah :( #also i dont think ill ever call this gp by its proper name #its either Imola or San Marino for me #(kinda laughing at myself from months ago when i was writing down race watch checklists) #(bcs sometimes id put the track name rather than the country) #(like writing down Nürburgring(Europe) rather than just Europe or writing down Suzuka(Japan) instead of just Japan) #(like bro those lists are only for my eyes why did i feel the need to flex that i know the track names LMAO) #(i understand writing Imola *now* instead lf Emilia Romangna bcs its a lot shorter) #(but why did i write Imola and Monza for my 2005 checklist rather than San Marino and Italy) #(again: flexing that i know the tracks but to myself i really dont understand my past thought processes sometimes) #but speaking of race checklists #I wrote down the schedule in my notebook before the season began like by a few months i think #i had to cross out the numberings bcs china got canceled AND UGHHHHHH NOW ITS EVEN MORE MESSED UP #i dont even reference that schedule bcs its all in my phone calender but just its mere messed up presence bothers me sm #so like its 22 races for sure now right? like i can call monaco round six yes? i think its 8 in my book lmao #but UGHHHHHH the fact that all the races are moved back one is gonna get on my nerves so badly #bcs i have a legitimate checklist i fill out and now its inacurate....i swear if imola gets rescheduled i will just burn the notebook #anyways :) #still havent done thst placement exam bcs i got sidetracked and now its 6:30 am! i need to sleep! #catie.rambling.txt

[ratcandy]

the day has arrived where i got irritated enough with a professor to email and Politely Ask why I didn't do as well as I thought I did on an assignment and having to grit my teeth and hope none of my underlying passive aggression is shining through

#clamtalk #the grade wasn't even bad I just got frustrated with the criticisms left on it #because this class has had that more than once . Weird confusing criticisms that confuse me and leave me Irritated #the first time I just went whatever . who cares #but now I'm like Hi Professor. Explain. #I don't understand. Help me understand so I know how I'm meANt to APPEASE YOU #NOthing is ever gOOD enough and I need you to tell me Why. #I already was upset with this class because what I THOUGHT was a debate class turned out to be a Philosophy course in disguise #but good lird man. I am ticked off

[hilliska]

I blocked at least 30 bots yesterday, today I wake up to another ten - wth did I do?!?! Like, that's literally two times as many bots as I even have followers, I'm a tiny blog, I have no popular posts, what is going on?!!?!

#that's more bots than I ever had on my other main that I've had for like... 10 years now???? #I am so confused #can it please stop #what are they even trying to achieve with this #tumblr #tumblr bots

[appreciatingtokrev]

i keep on accidentally posting stuff on my x reader writing acc instead of on here istg i nearly die every time from embarassment it’s horrible

the fact that my profile pics on both are tokrev manga panels does NOT help

#☆—`fuyu rambles #so sorry to everybody i ever reply to oN THE WRONG ACCOUNT #yeah #it’s @idesireelysian #feel like at this point telling people makes more sense in case i confuse it fOR A THIRS TIME IN LESS THAN A WEEK #i am so embarassingly stupid omfg ajdjfjhskka #funny story is i used to hate x reader works now i write them and have so so much fun lmao #character development?

[baltears]

just had the thought that i think the reason people don't "get" westworld (imo) is that they're not reading it in a way that really anticipates it all making sense. like i feel like i watched it once, had my scattered first impressions but felt like i was consistently catching a particularly high quality of writing and a certain sense of internal logic to the show (like, even if it didn't make sense to me at the time, the writers did seem to feel like it made sense to them, everything felt very deliberate), so when i went back and watched it again i was coming at it from the mindset of "how do i read this story in a way that makes everything make sense" (ie read it in a way that feels at least somewhat close to how the writers would) and that made everything come together extremely easily. all the themes came forward super clearly, all the character arcs suddenly made sense and tracked perfectly, the details stood out more because the nature of their significance became obvious, i was able to basically predict a lot of the bare bones plot points in s4 and now with the hypothetical direction of s5 also being obvious i feel like i know how the show is going to end. but i guess not everybody read the show like that

#im still on the fence about whether the show is too inaccessible. #i really don't think that it is. i honestly just think the audience expectation around it was really off #and now it has this reputation for being confusing when actually like. #no this is just the type of project that should be getting studied in its own college course. this is a book club book this is a rich text #it has So much more sophistication in how the story is put together than almost any other tv show ive ever seen. #like maybe babylon 5 would be the other project i would compare this to. It's plotted like a novel. I would say westworld is very similar #just with very different themes approach and tone #if im sounding insufferable btw sorry! i am

[neonun-au]

i thought i knew who my pentagon bias was but i have been a Fool

#i am now more confused than ever #mads.txt