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slutforsjy · 2 months

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“Can I be Layla’s Mom?”

Synopsis: You made Jake mad (?) and uncomfortable with your banner, so he invited you backstage to talk about it 😇

Genre: SMUT!

Pairing: Idol!Jake X Engene Fem!Reader

Warnings: Making out, blowjob, deepthroating, cum eating, spit kink, grinding, almost sex, pervert jake, nasty jake, dom jake, PURE FILTH!

Word Count: 3k +

a/n this is my first time writing pls bare with me 😭 also eng is not my first language so….rb and comment if you enjoy it 🥰

You and your friend, swept up in the pulsating energy of the crowd, singing along with your favorite group, etching memories that will forever linger in your mind. The venue is a kaleidoscope of colors and sounds, with flashing lights illuminating the stage and electrifying the atmosphere.

Attending a concert had always been a dream, lured by the promise of electrifying vibes, enchanting ambiance, and the palpable connection with the performers, especially your favorite, Jake.

There were so many banners and signs around for enhypen to read and yours were the one that caught the attention of the members.

It says….

“JAKE! CAN I BE LAYLA’S MOM?” with a picture of him and Layla that he posted on twitter.

For the rest of the members they thought it was funny, but for Jake, it sparked a different reaction. The moment he saw you waving that banner, it was at first funny to him at least, until his gaze traveled from your face down to your tight ass dress pushing your breast out a little bit, his reaction shifted.

You tried to catch his attention more as you started jumping, shouting, singing, and dancing not knowing how your boobs wiggle in front of him. His jaw clenched at the sight and you didn’t miss the way he licked his lips. Of course, your fans around you went crazy duh 🙄 but for you? you can’t seem to read what was that expression.

As the concert drew to a close, with each member delivering their heartfelt messages to the crowd, your eyes remained fixated on Jake. When he finished speaking, you seized the opportunity to capture his attention once more, by showing him your banner. However, instead of amusement, you sensed a flicker of irritation in his demeanor. You saw him cock his head looking annoyed by your actions as he diverted his gaze over to the other side of the stage and started waving at the fans instead.

You got worried, fearing that your playful gesture may have crossed a line and maybe it’s not an inappropriate banner for you to show him in the first place. But you just shrugged it off as you put your banner inside your bag and just enjoy the rest of the concert.

Everything inside the venue happens so quickly, and clearly, you don’t want to go home especially that your bias is mad at you. During their encore, you never miss a time when jake steals a look from you. He would look at you with a sharp eyes and then look at somewhere else when you catch him looking directly at you.

At this point you are so worried maybe because you truly made him uncomfortable with that stupid banner.

You’re so stupid!

Consumed by guilt and disappointment, you didn’t enjoy the rest of the concert. You really feel like crying, wanting to apologize to Jake which makes it worse as the thought of never meeting him again hits you and you’re never gonna have a chance to tell him that you’re sorry.

Once they bid their final goodbye, a wave of melancholy washed over you watching how the stage slowly closes hiding the seven most precious human beings for you.

“Bitch what was going on with you and jake?” you were jolted by your friend’s sudden question

See? Your friend noticed it too!

“Right? I really don’t know what I did wrong” you screamed, the weight of uncertainty pressing upon you.

“Dude he stares at you like he’s going to kill you” she says jokingly, attempting to lighten the mood.

“Damn! maybe i made him uncomfortable with my banner” your friend nodded noting how you didn’t use your banner at the latter part of the concert.

For the record, it wasn’t your intention to make anyone uncomfortable especially Jake, you made it for fun! even you friends and the other members find it funny. How is it not funny for Jake too!

As the crowd dispersed, your friends lingered for a final photo, offering a brief distraction from your swirling thoughts. Lost in the digital snapshots of the evening, you were startled by an unexpected interruption.

“Excuse me” he says tapping your shoulder.

You thought it was another engene asking you to take a photo of them but to your surprise you saw what is written in his shirt.

‘STAFF’

“Uhm sorry we’re actually done taking photo, we’ll head out quickly after this” you smiled at him.

You are about the go out of the venue when he calls you again.

“Uhm actually someone wants to see you…… at the backstage” You are so shocked and confused.

“W-what? Why?” your asked nervously

“Just go there, he just wants to talk to you” he then walked away shooting you a smile afterwards

“He?” both of you exclaimed

“Girl what the fuck is goin~?!” you cut your friend off and went immediately to follow the staff

You left your friend there and just shouted to her to just meet you at the hotel.

You’re so nervous walking towards the staff in front of you as he pointed at the door telling you to go inside.

Stopping in front of the door, heart racing, thinking if you should go inside or not.

Just by looking at the door, you think it is a storage room or whatever. You spent few minutes guessing what or WHO could be inside this room.

Once you got the courage to open the door, you were so shocked from what you see.

There you saw Jake,

manspreading, both arms on the head rest of the couch, staring at you with a smirk on his face, eyeing you up and down while licking his lips.

Wearing his soundcheck outfit earlier!

Your knees started trembling, seeing those gaze he gave you earlier at the stage as you nervously averted your gaze to look around the small room.

But this isn’t the time to be nervous, and so you brushed off your own thoughts and say hi and tell him how he did well.

“Hi Jake, i really enjoyed the concert, i can’t believe you called me i~” you were cutted as you heard him speak by his deep voice with thick accent

“come here” he commands while tapping his thigh

You blinked for a while as you look at him confused

“i said come here” his tone is very commanding and scary

You slowly walk towards him and he immediately grabbed your wrist and draw circles on it using his thumb

“so…” he paused looking at you directly in the eye

“you wanna be layla’s mom” that devilish smirk perked up on his beautiful lips once again

You gulp nervously at the question you knew that this was about the banner

“look Jake im sorry i didn’t mean to make you~” he shush you

“you know how hard it was for me to hide a fucking boner?” he raised his eyebrows at you

“what?” you ask sincerely looking at his bulge

He took your hand once again and guided it to palm his hard cock through his pants.

“JAKE!!” you shouted his name and step back a little bit taken aback from what he did.

GOD IT’S HUGE 😭

He smirked again from your reaction as he let go of your hands and quickly removed his glasses and leather jacket leaving him only with tank top perfectly flexing his biceps and showing his toned chest through the tight material.

You tried not to look at his body but failed anyways

“So” he licked his lips and started placing both of his hands at the back of his head, spreading his legs even more to pull you closer to him.

Youur mouth waters from the sight alone and jake noticed it and smirked again for the hundredth time.

“To be layla’s mom, first you should know how to suck my dick” he looked up to you waiting for your response

Your eyes widened from what you heard.

“WHAT?!!” you’re so confused right now

“can you make me feel good” palming his hard cock through his pants, once again biting his lips, and winking at you. “I want someone who can take care of my cock too, you think you can do that?”

This is guy is so perv but you love it. It’s not all the time that you could suck a dick like jake’s 🤷‍♀️

You don’t know what’s going on with your mind as you nodded to him slowly kneeling down and you put both of your hands on either side of his thighs

“that’s a good girl” he said patting your head as he tucked your hair behind your ears

You can’t really talk right now. All you can think of is HIS cock and the taste of his cum.

Without any hesitation you immediately reached for his pants unzipping it in no time. He lifted his lower body so you could pull down his pants together with his boxers.

You gulped at the sight in front of you, it’s average in length but what shocked you the most is its thickness, it’s fat FAT!

You tried to scan his fat cock a little bit more as you also noticed how veiny it is. Well this isn’t so shocking for you because you see how veiny his hands are.

You can’t help but to lick your lips as you can’t really wait to savour his cock. You’re basically drooling over his cock. “you like what you see baby? why don’t you show me how you like it hmm?”

You wasted no time putting your pretty lips around the tip of his cock

You hummed as you try to please him with only the head

He leaned against the couch and put his hands at the back of his head

HE IS SO HOT! you were so turned on at the sight of him looking down at you with smile, biting his lips and his armpit on full display.

You try to taste every inch of his fat cock starting from the head, you started sucking it like your life depends on it. He guided your hands into his balls implying you to massage it.

He can’t help but buck his hips wanting to hit your throat immediately.

After a few minutes of sucking and licking just the tip you gave it a few more peck while looking at him still looking down at you with a smirk as he caress your cheeks

You tilt your head and work on the base of his cock this time. You gave it a long lick from his balls to the top of its head. You could literally feel in your tongue the bumps of his veins running through his cock. HE TASTES SO GOOD!

“baby i want more, please suck it more” he whined getting boring with your way of pleasuring him.

You got sad cuz you want to take your time, to WORSHIP his cock. But this isn’t about you, so upon hearing his words you’re eager to please him more, to SATISFY him.

You started by spitting on top of his cock as you locked eye contact with him. You saw him nodding at you flashing his eyebrows encouraging you to do more.

You worked your mouth down on his pretty cock reaching the back of your throat in one go earning a few cuss from his him.

“fuck that’s it, so fucking tight and warm ahh..” he grabbed the back of your head and pushed it down a little bit more.

He guided you as you bobbed your head up and down aggressively until you choked out loud, causing you to immediately pull his hands off of your head and let go of his cock for a second.

You looked at him with teary eyes, catching your breath, signaling for a pause.

“im sorry baby did i go too hard?” he asked while tracing your lips with the head of his cock STILL smirking.

“just a few more, i know you can take it” he leaned down to lick the corner of your lips where your saliva is dripping and asked “right baby?”

damn he’s so hot and nasty 😵‍💫 but you like it. You like how he’s being rough with you

“please” he says with puppy eyes

and who are you to ignore his cock?

“stick your tongue out for me please”

As the cock slut you are you stuck your tongue out as he placed his heavy cock on top of your tongue rubbing it slowly.

You both stayed like this for a while feeling the heaviness of his cock while he says a few reminders.

“when i cum down this mouth i want you to swallow all of it, understood?” you badly want to make this the best blowjob he will ever get, so you immediately lick the tip of his cock as a response while nodding

“fuck” he hissed at your actions and pulled you out of his cock by your hair and held your chin up

“you can’t wait huh? you really want my cum?” he says slapping his cock against your cheeks

All you can do is to nod at him, your eyes watching how he hits your face with his cock tapping it all over your face harder and harder spreading his pre-cum

He teases you like this for a few seconds as you go after his dick sniffing it and catching it with your mouth

He chuckles while looking at you so desperate looking like a dog going after its toy “Slut!” he slapped it one last time against your cheeks and started patting your head

“good girl, now open up i’ll go hard okay?” he stands up, forcefully gripping your jaw using his one hand and spat on your mouth which you gladly took and swallow like it’s yours.

“god you’re making me crazy” without a warning he shoved his cock all the way in to your throat. You looked at him with teary eyes while he harshly fuck your throat like there’s no tomorrow.

He pulls out for a second to give you a break as he pats your head and caress your cheeks “so good for me, taking me so well”

“please fuck my mouth jakey” you beg

“oh baby i will” you try your best not to choke as he picked up his pace this time. You gripped around his legs as a support as he uses your mouth like a flesh light with every hard thrust letting a sinful moans and grunts from him.

You keep sucking, using your tongue to rub the underside of his dick that's filling up your mouth. He pulls your hair again causing you to moan around his dick and you close your eyes, only to feel a slap on your cheek.

You open your eyes and look up at him to see him looking down at you with a frown, hand still on your jaw. " You're gonna keep looking at me got it?" He said, his thrusts never faltering. You hummed in agreement and his smirk returns.

“ughh fuck this mouth so good for me” he thrusts slowly but deeper this time angling his hips.

“you like this huh? such a good girl for me yeah?” he asked mouth wide open and eyes squinting as pleasure takes over his body.

You stay like that for a few more minutes, unmoving as Jake uses your mouth for his pleasure, swallowing saliva and precum, until you feel his grip in your hair get tighter and his thrusts gets deeper.

“Im close baby, remember what i told you?” he says as his speed increases, the sounds of you choking and gagging bringing his climax ever closer.

You felt him grabbed your head with both of his hands as his thrusts started to get sloppy and shallow indicating for him to reach his climax.

Hearing his sexy moans and gasps made your pussy clench around nothing. So you tried to reach for your pants and work your own orgasm.

Jake is too lost on his mind to even notice how youre trying to pleasure yourself. With that he just continues to punish your pretty little mouth mercilessly.

“ah fuck! fuck! fuck! im cumming, ah” he cried so loud enough for people outside the room to hear

With few more thrust he buried your head against his cock, the tip of your nose hitting his pelvis as he shoot his load to the back of your throat as you hollow your cheeks even more getting all the cum out of his cock.

You looked at him head thrown back, furrowed eyebrows, mouth wide open moaning out loud, body twitching, and gasping for air. His face says it all.

You felt his dick twitch one last time as he shots his 6th cumshot in to your throat, some spilling down your mouth.

He thrusts one last time to make sure all of his cum goes down your throat.

“fuck” he fell down the couch sweat all over his face looking at you proudly as you showed him how you eat and swallow all of his load~draining him.

“fuck i came a lot, didn’t I?” he moves closer to your face as he brought his thumb to wipe off the remaining of his cum on your chin and shove it back inside your mouth.

You hummed sucking his thumb while looking at him, your pussy is now forgotten as you came just from tasting his seeds.

“good girl” you’ve lost count on how many times did Jake called you that. It boosts your ego.

You started getting up on your knees, and grabbed your things, and the reality just hits you now. You can’t process what just happened “jake i have to go, thank y~”

You were cut off once again

“wait” you glanced over him as you see him get something from his bag

He walk over you still with his cock hanging between his legs and hand you a piece of paper~with his contact number written on it.

You find him cute on how he just stood there, smiling at you like a puppy as if he didn’t just choked your life out earlier.

He leaned closer to your ear as he grabbed the back of your neck and whispered something to you

“i still don’t know your name, pretty” he said in a flirty and sexy tone making you wet once again.

You were about to say your name when you felt him bit your ears.

“Jake uhmm wait” you tried to stop him as his mouth went its way down to your neck sucking it desperately.

“mhmm jake please” you cried tilting your head to give him more access to your neck

It took a while before jake got his senses back as he stared at the mark on your neck proudly with a smirk.

“so…how do you want me to call you baby” he looked at your eyes

“y/n” you said voice shaking

“what a sexy name” he says with a raspy voice squeezing your ass up pressing your clothed pussy on his once again hard cock

“feel that y/n?” you moaned as you feel his cock against you with your pants the only boundary. At this point, both of you are so hungry and desperate for each other. You follow the rhythm of his body, grinding against him.

He grabed you by your head and started lapping, eating, devouring, the entirety of your mouth almost licking all parts of your face. Making you gasp and open your lips for him. But he doesn’t gave you time to catch your breath as he pushed his tongue inside your mouth feeling him suck on your tongue harshly. You placed both of your hands on his shoulder as you try to kiss him back with the same intensity. You continued for a few more minutes exchanging salivas while still grinding against each other until you heard a knock from the door calling for Jake.

You pulled back from the kiss and saliva dripped down your lips but Jake is too quick to catch it with his own tongue. Licking your chin all the way up to the tip of your nose. He groaned, disappointment evident from his face.

“Damn baby you’re so hot, but i need to go” he said while putting his Calvin Klein underwear back on together with his pants.

“call me by the number i gave you…” he thrusts in to you one last time…

“Im going to MAKE you a mom” he whispers pecking your lips one last time

Leaving you dumb and speechless

Leaving your pussy dripping from your second orgasm

Leaving you wanting for more

Leaving you curious about his last words~

THE END

HI! OMG thank you for reading this! I hope you enjoy 🥹

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querenciasturniolo · 2 months

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never really over ⮕ m.s.

word count: 3.3k

warnings: swearing, angst, mention of a breakup, crying, self doubt

summary: „thought we kissed goodbye, thought we meant this time, was the last, but i guess it’s never really over”

a/n: this song played at work the other day and i started daydreaming, so here’s this LMAOOO. this song SCREAMS summer and lemme tell you, i’m so fucking sick of winter. also the picture of matt gives me heart palpitations, so enjoy.

everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.

You knew coming home this summer was a stupid idea. Standing across the bonfire, staring directly into the dimly illuminated face you hadn’t seen in person in two years, you felt as though there was a pull screaming at you to move towards him. He hadn’t seen you yet, he was too busy laughing quietly at his brothers and a friend of his you weren’t particularly close with when the two of you were together. You, on the other hand, haven’t been able to keep your eyes off of him since you’d gotten to the party half an hour ago. It felt surreal, being in his space again after so long. It felt as though it was just yesterday you had your arms wrapped around him, your tears soaking the front of his shirt as he comforted you for the last time.

It seemed the only thing you and Matt were good at was breaking up, since it happened more often than not. Every other week you would decide that you didn’t deserve Matt and the two of you would call it quits. Then, a few days later, he’d show up at your door. He wouldn’t leave until the cycle repeated itself, but you knew he’d be back. You guys were never really over, after all.

You thought the last time you two said goodbye truly was the last time, considering you were going off to college and he was staying with his brothers to continue their YouTube career. You always knew he’d make it. Matt and his brother’s were the most genuine people you’d ever met, and it always transferred over into their videos. You watched them periodically while you were away at college, when missing him hurt so bad that you knew if you didn’t alleviate it somehow, you’d call him, and you couldn’t do that to him. The two of you promised each other that the last time was the last time, to keep the both of you from hurting each other. But seeing him only thirty feet away from you had your skin crawling in a familiar way you hadn’t felt in years.

“Who are you staring at?”

You jumped and whipped your head to the side, sighing and shaking your head when you met Nate’s eyes.

“Nothing, Nate. No one.” You said, clearing your throat and not letting your stare flicker back to Matt. You watched in horror as Nate’s eyebrows furrowed and he tracked your previous gaze until realization spread across his face.

“Matt, huh?” He asked, his voice casual as he slowly met your eyes. You hated the look on his face. It was almost as if he pitied you and your pathetic staring, which you couldn’t blame him. You scoffed and shook your head.

“No, I’m clearly staring at Dylan. What do you think?” You asked sarcastically, running a hand over your face to try and hide your embarrassment. You knew he meant well, but everyone always meant well, and they made you feel insane. They all had the same silent question; why couldn’t you just let him go? It’s been two fucking years, why did looking at him now feel the same as it did then? Your chest ached with how hard your heart was pumping against your ribcage. Goosebumps stayed prominent on every inch of your body just knowing he was so close to you. “I’m sorry, Nate. That was rude.” You said softly, moving your hand and sighing into the cool evening air.

Nate didn’t seem to take it to heart, he never really did. He was there for the entirety of your relationship with Matt, and unfortunately, he was one of the only few people who witnessed the aftermath. He’d answer your midnight texts, and when you were in town during breaks that first year of college, he’d pick you up from your house at three in the morning just for the two of you to drive around and blast music to keep your mind from racing.

“It’s been hard for him too.” He said, which was not at all what you were expecting him to say. You met his eyes with furrowed brows, though not a single one of his tells was showing. It was still hard to believe, considering how much of a mess you were when you went off to college and Matt moved to LA. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you processed what he said, your heart telling you he’s genuine, but your mind telling you he’s just trying to make you feel better.

“What makes you say that?” You asked, your voice almost breathless as Nate scoffed and shrugged his shoulders.

“Oh, I dunno. Maybe the fact that I’ve known the kid for forever and we talk every single day.” He stated, your features dropping into a blank stare as he shook his head and glanced back over in Matt’s direction. You couldn’t bring yourself to look that way again, otherwise you’d be walking towards him immediately. “You’re allowed to talk to him, you know?” He said after a short while, meeting your eyes again with a soft smile. You knew he meant well, and you knew he was right, but the thought of walking over to Matt and him not wanting to talk to you had you shaking your head fervently.

“I know I can, but I also can’t. Besides, he doesn’t want to talk to me.” You said, your eyes flickering over in Matt’s direction once more. He was gone from his spot, Nick and Chris and the friend you couldn’t think of were still talking away as you furrowed your brows.

“Who doesn’t want to talk to you?”

You froze in place, your chest warming and your body relaxing the moment his voice washed over you completely. When you turned around, it felt as though a swarm of butterflies were flying behind your ribcage and hitting every single corner and bouncing off. There was no doubt in your mind he could hear it, no matter how impossible that seemed. Your eyes met the familiar cool blue, and you were back in every single moment you’d spent with him. He was smiling the same smile he always gave you, his eyes crinkling slightly as they flickered over your more than likely shocked face.

“How have you been?” He asked, his eyes meeting yours once more as you fought your useless brain to say something—anything to him.

“I’ve been alright.” You finally said, your heart hammering in your chest as your own lips stretched into a smile against your will. You couldn’t help it, he always had that effect on you. “What about you?”

Matt sighed through his nose, his shoulders dropping a few centimeters as the two of you began to fully relax again in each other’s presence. “I’ve been okay.” He said breathily, his eyebrows twitching inward as he studied you. “Were you talking about me to Nate?” He asked, the slightest hint of teasing in his voice. You snickered and shook your head, dropping your eyes to the grass below you.

“You were listening?” You teased back, lifting your head again. You couldn’t meet his eyes, so you studied his shirt. It was a simple flannel, similar to the one most of the guys at the bonfire were wearing to keep warm on this chilly Boston night. He grinned and nodded his head, dropping his eyes to his shoes right as you felt brave enough to look at him.

“Can you blame me?” He asked, his eyes meeting yours once more through his eyelashes. Your breath caught in your throat. That familiar pull was working against you without you realizing it, the space between the two of you had dwindled enough that you could feel the heat from his body, you could see the push and pull of his breaths and the rise and fall of his chest. Fuck, you missed him.

“How’s Los Angeles?” You asked dumbly, wanting to smack yourself as he inhaled softly and shrugged.

“Warm, sunny, crazy.” He mumbled. There was something in his eyes you couldn’t quite place, and it was driving you nuts. Two years ago you’d be able to tell what he was thinking just by the way he breathed, but you were out of practice. “How’s college?” He countered. You shrugged in return, a playful smile forming on your lips.

“Stressful, expensive, exhausting.” You said. Matt rolled his eyes and shook his head. His eyes were nothing but fond as they scanned over your face slowly. A million thoughts were racing through your mind at once, but all you could do was keep looking at him like it was the last time you ever would.

The two of you were silent for only a few heartbeats, the both of you just basking in the other’s presence for the first time since that last goodbye. He was the first to speak, and it took everything in you not to fall into his arms at the warmth and sincerity in his voice.

“I missed you.” His voice was only a few decibels above a whisper, but those three words were screaming in your mind the moment they left his mouth. You weren’t the only one wanting, yearning, wishing, hoping, praying, waiting. He missed you. He missed you. Your composure crumbled slightly, and you couldn’t help but smile sadly at him.

“Fuck.” You whispered, running your hands over your face and closing your eyes. “I missed you, too.” You said. Before you could open your eyes, you were pulled into his arms and against his chest. You couldn’t believe you were worried about the beating of your own heart as you listened to the rapid thumping of his against your ear. Like it was second nature, you wrapped your arms around his neck and stood on your toes to fully embrace him like you used to. Your face rested in the crook of his neck, the skin warm against the chilled tip of your nose.

He felt the same—the same warm chest and tight arms making you feel safe, the same familiar scent of vanilla bourbon soap and laundry detergent with the smallest hint of campfire, the same gentle movement of his thumb lightly caressing your back. You relaxed completely against him, his grip on you the only thing keeping you from sliding down his body and laying limp in the grass. He was so familiar, so comfortable, so fucking safe that you never wanted your embrace to end.

“Matty?” You asked, a shiver running down his spine when the warm breath from your lips puffed against his skin. He hummed in reply, swaying softly with you to the quiet music playing from someone’s car speakers. “This is gonna fuck everything up for us, isn’t it?” He didn’t pull away from you, like you expected. He didn’t stiffen either, which was odd. His lips pressed lightly against the top of your head, a soft sigh leaving your lips as you somehow relaxed further.

“I don’t care.” He whispered. You pulled back to meet his eyes, your pulse deafening in your ears as you searched for anything on his face that wasn’t sincere. Matt never broke eye contact with you, a small smile forming on his lips. “I’m being serious. These last two years have fucking sucked, and I don’t care if we fuck it up because I missed you. Can we forget about saying goodbye, just tonight?” He asked. He sounded almost breathless, begging you for just one night together like old times.

Before you could say anything, his eyes were flickering to your lips and he was leaning in. You gasped lightly, his lips barely brushing against yours as your eyes fluttered closed. Warmth completely enveloped you the moment you tightened your arms around his neck and closed the space between the two of you, the cool summer night completely forgotten as your fingers tangled in his hair and scratched lightly at his scalp.

You’d forgotten what it was like to kiss him, you’d forgotten how he’d hold the back of your neck with one hand and grip your waist with the other like his life depended on it, no matter how gentle the kiss was. It drove you wild every time, your body feeling like it was on fire as he pulled you impossibly closer to him. His kiss was gentle, soft, full of passion and yearning, yet rough, hard and full of tension and desperation. You could feel the pain he’d felt the last two years with each soft brush of his tongue against yours, and it took everything in you not to break down in tears mid kiss. Your Matty was back, and you didn’t think you’d ever be able to let him go again, even though you knew you had to.

When the two of you pulled a part for air, you couldn’t help but stare up at him with soft, gasping breaths leaving your lips. Matt’s eyes remained closed, his eyebrows furrowed tightly. He looked…miserable, and you hated it. You untangled your hands from his hair, one of your palms resting against his chest while your other hand reached up and cupped his cheek softly. Your thumb caressed the crease between his eyebrows until he relaxed, finally opening his eyes to meet yours. Every single bit of anguish you’d felt for the last two years was written all over his face. It was etched into the lines by his eyes, the twitching corners of his mouth, and it was glimmering in the cool blue of his iris’. He was in as much pain as you’d been in, and it made you want to scream.

“Did you stop loving me?” Matt asked, his voice thick and raspy. You inhaled sharply, your own brows furrowing.

“Matty, I—”

“Just.” He interrupted, exhaling deeply through his nose and looking into the flames of the fire rippling a few feet to your left. “Just answer the question, please.” He didn’t return his gaze to yours, no matter how badly you wanted him to look into your eyes and see the answer screaming out at him from your heart. You fish-mouthed for a few seconds before taking a deep, shaky breath and closing your eyes.

“I don’t think I could ever forgive myself if I stopped loving you.” You said, Matt’s gaze finally returning to yours. You smiled brokenly, letting your eyes well with the hot tears you’d been fighting since seeing him and his brothers the second you looked across the fire. Your hands clenched into fists in his flannel, your body desperate for him to stay close to you. “Loving you…fuck, loving you was the best thing I’ve ever done, even if it went up in flames. It made every argument, every bad day, every break up and reconnection worth it. I didn’t think it was possible, and I thought I was doing so well getting over you, but I love you just as much as I did the day we broke up for the last time. And it’s okay if you stopped loving me completely, because I can understand how you could.” You whispered the last few words, closing your eyes and letting the depth of your words fall over the two of you. You dropped your head, sniffling to yourself and trying to pull yourself together before you made a mess of things again.

Matt’s fingers lightly gripping your chin had a shaky exhale leaving your lips as he lifted your head. Your eyelids fluttered open, the tip of his nose almost touching yours with how close the two of you still were. His tongue peaked out to wet his lips and he opened his mouth to speak as his grip moved from your chin to his hand cupping your jaw and holding it firmly.

“The one thing I didn’t miss was the lack of faith you had in yourself being loveable.” He said clearly, firmly, matter-of-factly. He’d told you a million times before that there was absolutely no reason for him not to love you, but you never stopped looking for that one reason to present to him. “I have loved you so completely, so wholly, so entirely since the day I met you, and the day we said goodbye. You were and are the last person I think of when I fall asleep, and the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning. For so long, you were the only person I wanted to be around, and the only person I knew that I couldn’t live without.” He said, your eyes wide as you stared up at his smug face with a slack jaw.

“The fact that I came back each and every time you looked me in my face and tore my heart out of my chest, still wanting and needing to be a part of you and your life should show how much I loved and still love you. If you can’t see how deep my love for you is, then I truly don’t know what we were doing in the first place.” He finished, the tears that had welled in your eyes had begun to fall, Matt smiling softly down at you as his thumb tenderly swiped the tears away. “Don’t cry, baby. I was only telling you the truth. I’m just glad that it seems now you finally choose to believe it.”

You sniffled and shook your head up at him, not understanding how only a short time ago you were staring at him from across a bonfire, absolutely petrified of him seeing you and not being interested enough to even wave, and here you were. You were standing in his arms, only a few feet away from the fire, listening to him tell you that all of your sleepless nights full of tossing and turning, overthinking, watching him and his brothers’ videos on YouTube for some semblance of normalcy, he was missing you and loving you just as much as you were him. You couldn’t help but smile up at him and pull him closer to you, wrapping him in the tightest hug you could manage. You wanted it to feel the way his words made you feel, warm and safe and protected and loved. So fucking loved that you could hardly stand it.

“What does this mean, Matty?” You whispered against his shoulder. He sighed into your hair, his grip around your waist tightening as he shook his head.

“Just enjoy the moment, baby. We’ll talk about that later.” He mumbled, pulling away from the hug to press a kiss to your forehead, cheek, and then pressing his lips firmly to yours. It was only a firm peck, and he pulled away. “Watch the fireworks with me?” He asked. You nodded your head and turned around, letting him press himself against your back and wrap his arms around you like he’d done a million times before. His chin rested against your shoulder, and you leaned your head slightly to the side to rest your temple against his as the first firework shot into the sky. Each and every breath you took, you breathed him in, not wanting this moment to end.

It was possible that by the end of the night, the two of you would go your separate ways and leave one another again for an indefinite amount of time, or maybe even continue your cycle from two years ago. But it was also possible that the two of you would start something new, maybe change the cycle and make sure it wasn’t repeated again. You had a feeling it was one of the latter two options.

After all, you two were never really over.

tags: @strniolo , @ssturniolo , @thetriplets3 , @stvrni0lo , @gabbylovesreading , @dwntwn-strnlo , @tylerscreat0r , @toyourloves , @lvrsparadise , @angelcake-222 , @20nugs , @obsessivencrazy , @lollibumblebee , @stargirlv0id , @jellybeanbby , @idontexistman , @emssturniolo , @soursturniolo , @bernardenjoyer , @ev3rgreenxtrees , @reveriewave , @mxqdii , @leah-loves-lilies , @mattsnutsack , @champangekisses , @floofparker

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tortor-sauce · 2 months

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18+ POST LOOK AWAY 👹🔞 if you’re not 18+ PLEASE DNI with this post!! 👹🔞

(sketch and drabble and headcanons)

(jel/reth/oc stuff)

GO AWAY LOOK AWAY!!!!! IM WARNING YOU 🔪

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP I CANT EVEN TAG THIS I DONT EVEN WANT PEOPLE TO SEE BUT I HAVE TO SHOW SOMEONE AND TALK ABOUT IT OR I’LL EXPLODE!!!!

i’m too shy to share the whole picture IM SORRY—i just wanted to capture a few headcanons into a single shamelessly horny drawing of the three of them together. also, my thoughts are completely unorganized and this post is mostly just me rambling!

small disclaimer, if you don’t agree with or like my headcanons, that’s totally valid but please don’t tell me so 🙇 i kindly ask you just move on from this post. thank you!

okay. so i feel like both reth and jel are service tops HEAR ME OUT—like, they’re both just a couple of pathetic lover boys who are so head over heels in love with you. the fact they practically always gift you something when you flirt with them in-game (jel gifting silk and reth gifting soup) i feel is their attempts at spoiling you and taking care of you in their own way. they just want to see you happy and make you cum your brains out a thousand times until you can’t think straight anymore 🥺

and in general, i feel jel would love to shower you in compliments and words of praise and practically worship your body. while i feel reth is the type to show you how he feels and relish in watching you come undone with him. but personally 👉👈 i feel jel and reth align more closely as switches because they’re both so.. so soft and need to be spoiled and loved so deeply (no innuendo intended)

with that said, i think jel is a more intimate and passionate lover while reth is a bit more unhinged and rough. that’s not to say jel doesn’t have his sadistic bouts. i feel it stems directly from his obsessive nature and grows into a desire to watch you submit to him and his whims, sort of in a controlling way. but it makes him so happy when you do. the need to know you belong to him, both your heart and body, is honestly really important to him. i actually feel he has control issues due to a number of reasons but that’s a different discussion—💀 and he rewards you so thoroughly for showing him how much you love him. god, the aftercare? he’s so gentle and attentive and treats you like the most precious thing he’s ever held.

more on reth, while not as sadistic, i feel he’s still plenty controlling when he wants to be. the poor man has hardly any control in his day-to-day life and the fact you allow him an ounce of control? over your body of all things? yeah, that shit drives him mad (positive). gets a bit carried away and leaves marks on your body, hickeys, scratches, bruises, the like. but hey, at least it’s a pretty reminder of how much fun you had together. plus, if anyone sees they’ll know you belong to him. but he definitely teases you about it the following days by making sly comments and even running his fingers over the more sensitive marks.

so, in my polycule i envision moments where two will actively spoil the other. so for instance like when maddox and reth want to spoil jel and shower him in the love and affection he deserves, he gets all shy and blushy but relishes in the moment. he pays them back tenfold once they’re finished, but not that same night. maddox and reth make sure he’s completely worn out so he’ll finally get some damn sleep for once. reth is the same in that regard; he gets all shy and blushy but he enjoys being spoiled for once. not having to care about anything or anyone else and focus fully on himself and his pleasure. and the two know this and want to show him how loved he is. lowkey i imagine jel bringing him to tears, crying tears of pleasure and from overstimulation but that may be a personal thing of mine. 💀 and as for maddox? they both know exactly which buttons to push. i imagine them sort of egging each other along. i mentioned earlier i think jel has a sadistic side to him, well i think the same of reth albeit not nearly as prominent. like, the fact he teases and flirts so much could be for a number of reasons, but how lovely it would be if it were only to watch their reactions each time. with that said, maddox happens to be very reactive and discovering that fact in bed, like, awakens something inside of him to tease more, to push as much as maddox will allow him. and yes, he notices the way jel reacts to it too. it only makes him want to tease him for the fact as well 🥴 WHICH is why i drew him with that expression LMAO normally i would’ve imagined him with a much softer and kinder expression but i think he’s quick to lose himself in the throes of pleasure which causes him to act a bit selfish at times. but like i said, i see him as a service top so really his ‘selfish’ moments are him just spoiling maddie and jel and showering their bodies with so much love and attention.

i have so many more thoughts but this post is getting long and i’m getting embarrassed so i’ll stop there for now.

IF YOU READ THIS IM SORRY LOL BUT THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME///////

#palia nsft #i started drawing jel then i blacked out #brain worms sorry

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khaire-traveler · 7 days

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💥 Subtle Eris Worship ⚔️

Stand up for yourself and others

Assert your boundaries; learn what your boundaries are; not all boundaries need to be spoken

Do not needlessly sacrifice yourself for others (it takes time to unlearn this behavior, it'll be ok ❤️)

Have a candle that reminds you of her (no altar needed)

Wear jewelry that reminds you of her

Keep a picture of her in your wallet

Engage in activities you're passionate about

Share your passions with others

Support abuse survivor, homeless, or humanitarian organizations

Practice healthy conflict resolution skills; learn about what those might look like

Have imagery black wings, apples (particularly golden), black feathers, or whatever you associate with rivalry/discord around

Have a stuffed animal of any animal you associate with discord or rivalry; have a stuffed animal of an animal you consider to be bold, passionate, or powerful (maybe a predator)

Take risks; do things that you need/want to; if you're scared, do it scared

Learn to speak up when you disagree with someone; don't always hold your tongue

Get comfortable with the idea of change; try to look at positive outcomes rather than focusing on negative ones

Change something within your daily routine if it starts to feel mundane, even something small

Join a supportive community where you feel comfortable expressing yourself; LGBT groups, D&D, survivor therapeutic groups, etc.

Dance/sing to music that makes you feel empowered, badass, or expressive

Find healthy outlets for your emotions; boxing, dancing, drawing, building, crafting, etc.

Allow yourself to feel your feelings; cry, scream, shake - whatever your body needs to do

Make your space reflect parts of yourself; make it your own!

Exercise; get some movement throughout the day, even just stretching

Create a positive change in the life of someone else; cook a meal for someone in need, donate blankets to a homeless shelter, support your friend through a difficult time, etc.

Prioritize your own well-being; learn to be comfortable with being a bit selfish; it's not a bad thing to look out for yourself

Wear outfits that make you feel bold or expressive

Express yourself in little ways if you're unable to be fully open; a bracelet to represent your gender, pride flag colored shoelaces, etc.

Play with pets; get active alongside them!

Listen to stories of people who have gone through major life changes; try to learn from them

Make a list of your personal strengths; acknowledge and honor them

Work hard, but remember that rest is also productive

Practice patience and restraint around people who annoy or bother you a lot; a difficult lesson, believe me, I know

Try to be understanding of the fact that people have their own struggles as well; this doesn't mean you have to forgive transgressions against you

Don't feel obligated to forgive people; you do not owe anyone anything just because they apologized to you

Celebrate your accomplishments, even the small ones!

I'll likely add more later! It was a bit tough for me to come up with ideas for Eris because I don't worship her directly and couldn't find many sources discussing her worship, unfortunately. I'm open to ideas! For now, this is my list of discreet Eris worship. I hope someone finds it helpful. ❤️

Link to Subtle Worship Master list

#helpol #hellenic polytheism #hellenic pagan #eris deity #eris #eris worship #paganblr #deity worship #pagan tips

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anchoeritic · 1 year

Note

this needed to be said tbh

tonowari seems like the type to talk to u in a calm voice while pleasuring u. (basically being a soft dom) and using that voice to describe what he’s doing to u and how he knows what’ll get u riled up (almost like demonstrating what he’s doing ifykwim?) while ur already like a complete mess. also he would def say “love” or “my love” while pleasuring u.🤭

lemme give u an example 😋

he’d be teasing u saying things like, “i love how u react to my touch, how wet u get even when i’m not touching ur clit.” while his fingers are tracing all over ur body and ur all flustered, absolutely getting more wet by his nurturing tone. ur now whining pleading, telling him to do something, anything.

he then uses one hand to gently grab ur face, turning ur head towards him while his thumb drags across the bottom of your lip. he smirks still using that oh so soothing voice. “u love sucking on my fingers don’t u?” u whine slightly looking up at his lustful eyes. “come on, show me how much u love it. put my thumb in ur mouth my love.” u then almost immediately start sucking.

and as a reward he uses his other hand to stick two fingers into u, (have u seen how big those hands are? oml) barely giving u time to react as u jolt at the sudden sensation, eyes rolling to the back of ur head. u continue to suck on his thumb, moaning into it as he fingers u at a brutal pace. and then he speaks again. “u look so pretty falling apart on me like this love, but i believe we both know ur waiting for me to hit that one spot…. that one spot that’ll get u a step closer to ur release.” “p- pls tonawari”, u weakly reply while bucking ur hips. he chuckles, “how about i do this then hm?”, he asks quickly shifting his fingers to “that one spot”, hitting it over and over again while looking directly in ur eyes. “is this the spot my love?” he says while smiling at u like he ain’t going ham! and at this point ur screaming, tears streaming down ur flushed face.

“i- i’m about to c- cum” u cry out. “i know my love, u can do it for me though, yes?”, he asks, fingers still going at it, not stopping for nothing. u quickly nod and then very soon, u cry out his name, the orgasm hitting u like a strong wave, ur body shaking as ur coming down. “there, there my love. i got u” he hums, wiping the tears off ur face very delicately and letting u ride the orgasm out. etc..

idek how to write like this but hopefully u get the picture.😇

bitch i’m squirting and it’s sliding down the walls bcs what the fuck i’m literally. . im… YOUR MIND.

#mailbox💌#ME #IMMEDIATELY #daddy tonowari #tonowari smut

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crimswnred · 11 months

Note

HC’s of how your LIs would react to finding out she’s pregnant? For the girls let’s say they’ve been trying for ages through IVF/donors.

LOVE LOVE LOVEEEE

thanks for the question!! from your ask I gathered you mean MC and LI have been trying to have a baby, right?!

with that in mind, I'll be doing my favourite LIs that I think would love to have a child 💕 if you have any specific LI in mind, pls send me an ask.

as always, please look under the cut 👇

☆ SEASON 1

JAKE

when you finally get that positive result you're not only overflowing with happiness but also are planning to make a special announcement for daddy. there's tiny little baby shoes in a surprise box, there's cameras recording and there's MOST DEFINITELY tears. Jake can't contain his happiness and he's crying as soon as he spots the tiny shoes. then, he's swirling you around. it's just a very very happy moment.

TIM

when he sees the test and looks at you searching for confirmation — because let's face it, Tim doesn't know how a pregnancy test works — he is screaming and kissing you. also, he IMMEDIATELY calls his mom to share the news. maybe even facetiming her while he cries like a baby. he's the happiest man in the world and is already thinking of names.

TALIA

I'm a little torn between whether or not she wants to have children and I don't have any recollection if that's talked about during S1 but I'm doing it anyway.

she just can't believe it. she looks at you, then she looks at the test and then she looks at you again in complete shock. not too long after, she's crying and hugging you and just keeping you close. it's been a long time coming and she's just so, so, happy. the moment isn't loud, it's intimate. just between the two of you.

☆ SEASON 2

BOBBY

oh, man. I believe Bobby is a very family centred guy, that's why the perfect announcement would be when your families are reunited. picture the whole fam in the living room! you get up, everyone is paying attention and you announce it. Bobby gasps, then grabs you, then twirls you and then gets all worried because can he do that if you're pregnant? you're laughing all the time, even when he starts crying. the fam is looking at you guys adoringly and I can see a lot of pictures being taken (and a lot of questions being asked as well)

NOAH

you sit Noah down on the bed, grabs his hands and tells him the news. the big smile on his face and the twinkle in his eyes leave you with no doubt: he IS the one. he waste no time on touching your belly and kissing you tenderly. the moment is simple but it's also private, intimate and very special. it gets you so emotional that you can't help but cry and he also sheds a tear.

☆ SEASON 3

she's immediately jumping around, hugging you, screaming, kissing you. it's a big party as soon as she hears the word 'pregnant', there's no need to see the test. she's calling everyone, the news are spreading like wildfire and you don't even try to stop her because you don't remember ever seeing AJ that happy. the same night, she's following every baby related profile she can find.

NICKY

this man is on his knees kissing your belly from the moment you show him the test. of course, he still wants to be 100% sure and take a blood test, but when I say he is absolutely BEYOND HAPPY when he sees the lines. talks directly to the baby about how he just can't wait to see them 💕

☆ SEASON 4

BRUNO

DEAR GOD. this man will go through every stage of happiness in 5 seconds. he'll be sooooo shocked at first, asking you a BILLION times if you're sure. once you confirm to him that YES you're fucking sure, he will then cry, hug you, kiss you, repeat his wedding vows, call his mama, talk to the baby, then proceed to act like you're 8 months pregnant even though you're barely a month. already thinking of a bunch of dad jokes.

YOUCEF

I really think Youcef would be soooooo emotional. he's crying in a way you've never seen him cry before and suddenly the feeling of his touch is way more soft and tender. It's a vere honest moment between you, and he demonstrates soooo much love. I really think that being a dad is a major thing for him and he couldn't be happier to share this moment with you.

📌 headcanons masterlist.

#askask #litg #litg s1 #litg s2 #litg s3 #litg s4 #anon #headcanons

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blackstarchanx3new · 6 months

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Creations AU FNAF 4, But I obnoxiously over explain it PT 1

Pages 0-29

Holy shit remember when I said there were "Side comics"

Lmfao yeah they go more in depth.

We're starting with FNAF 4 because as of rn it's the first in the timeline of comics I've made. SL will be next and imo has the shittiest art because I was hurting myself with every page of that damn thing.

Content warnings I guess: bad things happen to fictional kids because this is fnaf lmfao.

I forgot wtf the faded words say but I'm pretty sure they're all written from William except one which is from Josh. Fuck if I remember which tho XDDDDDD

They're all talking vaguely about the incident.

So I'm going off the bold assumption you've seen the over explains for the main AU and will be talking about FNAF 4 from that perspective: Honestly the biggest hurdles in the Creations AU over explained is just how much I dump about the games, the AU as a whole, spoilers what to AVOID spoiling ex.

(Like...What I FEEL should be common knowledge I sometimes say, but then I realized: Holy fuck most of my current tumblr followers are ZELDA people who might just be reading cause they like my stuff in general and have ZERO Fnaf knowledge lmfao I'm very sorry if I don't always communicate things from the games specifically well.)

If you're here from the Creations AU MAIN comic over explained:

We are all to aware Elizabeth is dead and Cody has SEEN said incident, which gives a lot of insight into his character going forward in this comic.

This is based on the fan theory crying child saw Elizabeth die. I honestly dunno how much merit that actually has in CANNON but it's a fun story idea for Creations at least lol.

Circus Baby, the animatronic pictured was the one that did the deed.

So funny story: I actually like Josh as a character MORE after drawing FNAF 4 X'D and I will get into why. He's been the butt of the "I hate this character" joke for a long time but now the script has flipped because I actually like him a lot from a character standpoint but the audience couldn't stand his ass. (Reasonably he's awful lmfao) I didn't HATE him in SL I mostly hyped up how much I "Disliked" him If I hated him, I wouldn't draw him lmfao but I find he's 100xs more interesting as a person in FNAF 4 because he's WAY more flawed and his vulnerabilities are on full ass display here.

So dialogue wise: Josh goes on an absolute anger filled tirade on Cody merely taking a look into his presumed dead sister's room.

Their mother is out of the house under false pretenses, and beats Josh. She doesn't do this to Cody apparently which is clearly causing resentment. We can already make some assumptions about Josh's behavior due to his mother's abuse. Being, he repeats said cycle of abuse onto his younger brother.

He's a bad person lmfao and I won't justify his shit but I can completely understand why he's acting this way. Bro should not be in this situation.

William's "Checked out". Presumably not emotionally available or even physically considering Josh is looking after his brother.

He's being FORCED to basically parent his younger sibling who he dislikes STRONGLY, which uh. Makes older siblings carry a LOT of baggage later in life and in the moment is clearly doing NO ONE favors. He's also VERY CLEARLY not emotionally capable of dealing with a child. Which is just irresponsible as hell on his parents ends. That is a recipe for a complete trainwreck as we will very soon see.

Oh. The bear talks.

Hide and seek with high stakes. I got nothing much to say about the scenes directly tied/based to the minigames as they mostly speak for themselves.

Josh is a dick, that's evident.

Some of yall might not like it but I'm going on both Josh and Cody's perspectives here lmao. Deal with it

I would also lose my patience with a screaming child throwing an absolute tantrum. But on Cody's end, I wouldn't wanna go to Freddy's/Fredbear's either considering HE SAW HIS SISTER DIE THERE.

Josh's reasoning for bringing Cody makes sense though: Their dad is here and he can spend time with his friends. Josh's friend Lucas points out they're technically "Banned" from Freddy's. And she's cheating. According to Josh. Which just makes her leaving her son with his abusive older brother to cheat even more insulting/disgusting. Oliver Blondie with the green shirt is disturbed by Josh trauma dumping lmao. Richard cracks jokes about Josh's mom's affairs. Josh like Michael and William are British which Richard not so elegantly makes fun of. You'll notice a significant LACK of Michael here. More details: All four of these boys indulge in bad habits. Like smoking.

I WONDER WHY. Sarcasm aside, it's almost like abusing your kids results in them lashing out in horrible ways, mostly self destructive...

As we know Richard's dad is a freak who sleeps with married women and Josh's mother's known for infidelity. And all four smoke except Lucas apparently.

The "Josh you of all people would know I don't smoke" line is a play on the fact they're in a relationship and kiss, because Lucas and Josh's relationship is not subtle at all.

I find it amusing they all blame each other for Richard's stolen cigarettes as it's clear Josh and Oliver are behind it but MOSTLY Josh.

Well, he did the bare minimum of leaving him in a place he THINKS is safe, with a way to get back to the house?

Josh this is still shitty as hell. X'D

Lucas continues to be the only one in this friend group with a brain, also I do like how he nags his boyfriend and his shitty parenting choices for his brother lmfao.

He won't DO anything about it but he'll point it out.

Fredbear we can see this.

HAH SCARY.

Haha trauma.

Not now son Daddy's helping people into fur suits.

Yeah closing the door doesn't help this situation. Poor kiddo.

My bro wanted him to fall lmao. That would have been funny but nah.

Josh is playing on a 3DS because it's funny.

He at least fed his brother. Bare minimum parenting there buddy.

Not Josh getting annoyed because Cody says something scary he didn't personally tell him. X'D

He gives a half hearted attempt at advice...? Comfort? idk what you'd call that lmao.

And okay fr from Josh's perspective his brother is just acting like a ungrateful cowardly brat. X'D That doesn't make what he does right but like: Would YOU Believe him if he told you he "Saw" someone get eaten by a robot lmfao????

Children lie or misunderstand things. And Josh is old enough to know how these things work. He knows they're people in costumes or just lifeless things on the stage. Or at least they're SUPOSED to be.

Josh amusingly telling Cody he can walk is funny when you think he carried him TO Fredbear's last time.

Because Josh is a dick.

I don't have a lot to say about Cody's behavior because it's self explanatory. He saw his sister die here, his fear is justified and has an obvious reason. He's failed by the people around him ESPECIALLY his parents.

This is just more NPC dialogue in the minigames. Not much to say.

#fnaf 4 #creations au comic #creations au #fnaf au #fnaf #five nights at freddys #five nights at freddy's #fnaf comic #fnaf crying child #fnaf 4 comic #fnaf 4 cc #fnaf 4 afton #fnaf 4 bullies #fnaf 4 brother #circus baby #fnaf circus baby

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mozart-the-meerkitten · 8 months

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Baby Bengal Update

So updates on my new kittens. First, we named the little boy Kalmar because while he looks like a T'challa... the purrsonality is not there. xD So dorky sweet Kalmar it is!

Second, the kittens are discovering that we have other cats! Sid, our outdoor, neutered but still gigantic, tomcat, made first contact with them a few days ago completely of his own accord:

Sid has been a complete gentleman! He has not hissed or growled at the babies once, just sniffs them and then guards them for a bit before wandering through the yard and providing them with entertainment (he's their favorite tv show xD). He is very curious about them and gets concerned and comes to check on them when they cry. Tansy, meanwhile, Sid's 14-year-old adoptive mother, wants nothing to do with the kittens, she has not visited them once or shown any interest in them. She raised her son, thank you very much, she doesn't want more kids! xD (not that the babies would EVER be outside cats again, but it's the principle of the thing)

Sid has been above and beyond a good big brother to the babies already and I think he even made them feel safer the other day. See, our neighbors walk their dogs up and down the road every day and they're two little Scotti dogs (actually they're about the same size as Sid xD). They're rescue dogs though, and one of them is VERY aggressive to cats. The neighbors are working to train it out of this, but every time it sees a cat in our yard it seems compelled to bark/scream like it's being murdered and lunge at the cat.

Sid knows this. He's been dealing with this for quite some time, and while the dog makes him uncomfortable, he doesn't run from it.

So, the other day he was outside while we were on the front porch with the kittens. He likes to "guard" the babies and he truly did that day. While the neighbors walked their dogs past he positioned himself DIRECTLY between the dogs and the kittens. He did not budge a single whisker the whole time the angry dog was barking and screaming and lunging at him (they were like 30 ft away from each other Sid was not in danger). And every single one of the babies saw him put himself between them and danger.

And then the next day Leeli all of a sudden was acting friendly and comfortable like she hadn't before and I think it's because she saw Sid protecting them?! Like, she might be intimidated by the size of Sid but if this huge cat is just gonna put himself between them and danger then maybe she is truly safe here. And I just 😭 SID IS SUCH A GOOD BOY AND HE LOVES HIS NEW KITTENS

So yeah, here's a picture of Leeli feeling safe and happy and letting me love her to end on:

(also she REALLY looks like Crystal, the Bengal cat we just lost two months ago here)

(full Bengal kitten rescue story here if you missed it.)

#kittens #bengal kittens #the wingfeather kittens #leeli the kitten #maraly the kitten #kalmar the kitten #kitten rescue #sid

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cryptidofthekeys · 1 year

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A Vampire’s Kiss - Kevin x Streber

Sooo Imma hurt y’all with this one a little bit, JUST- JUST A LIL BIT BUT I PROMISE ITS M O S T L Y FLUFFY also keep in mind this is my first time writing Kevin n Streber fgjkjgdkf I’m not very used to them yet

TWs: Blood and Gore mentions, Panic/Anxiety Attacks, Cannibalism, Brief mentions of Vomiting, Suggestive Joke

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. . .Eyes slowly fluttered open, blurred vision staring up at the ceiling, he could hear a faint beeping sound, he could hear some people talking, and then he could see h i m… Him again… He saw the large shadow looming over him, the horns, the far too wide grin and hungry eyes staring into him, that’s what caused Streber’s eyes to suddenly shoot open and he screamed which startled the doctors and nurses who came over and began trying to calm him down, restraining him so he wouldn’t rip out his IV.

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Streber was crying and yelling for a moment, eyes darting around the place, his eyes taking in nothing practically as he was far too panicked before he looked and saw Kevin and then did a double take for a moment, his struggles slowed when he heard Kevin speak “S-Streber! Streber…! Calm down, it’s okay!” He could see tears pricking the others eyes, he looked so relieved and yet so… Heartbroken at the same time, this made Streber confused.

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He looked around again and instead of being worried about being back at the hauntiest of houses, back with that… That monster…He saw he was in the hospital, that was the beeping he heard, his struggles slowly began to die down and he relaxed which made the doctors and nurses slowly move away, Streber slowly laid back and then one of the doctor’s spoke up “It’s good to see you’re finally awake… Tell me, are you in any pain right now?” Streber blinked “...N-No…? I…” …Oh man his voice was really dry, this caused the doctor to hand him a glass of water.

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Streber took a few sips of it and then sighed before he felt… Well, nothing in his arm, that made him blink as he looked over, eyes widening as he saw where his arm used to be, all bandaged up “M… My… My ar… Arm…” The doctor looked concerned. “Is there any pain there?” Streber shook his head “...N-No pain I… M-My arm’s… It- It’s gone” Streber sounded like he wanted to cry right then and there and that made Kevin more upset, he was trying to hold back his tears as best he can, he needed to be strong, strong for Streber.

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The doctor nodded sadly “...On the bright side you are alive, it’s honestly a miracle you survived with how much blood you lost, if this man right here hadn’t found you when he did, well…” The doctor didn’t finish that sentence, but Streber got the picture and then he looked at Kevin who came closer when the doctor moved aside, kneeling down somewhat by Streber’s side and taking a hold of his hand, the doctor cleared the nurses out of the room along with themself in order to give the two more privacy.

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“S-Strebs… I-I’m sorry” Streber looked at Kevin, gently squeezing his hand “Sorry for… What?” Kevin was trying so hard not to tear up anymore now, even wiping away his tears with his other arm “...I-I should’ve been there sooner… I-” Streber shook his head and raised up somewhat, grunting a little but he looked Kevin directly in the eyes and cupped his cheek “No no, don’t you d a r e… I-I… Kev, if it weren’t for you, I would be dead, the blood loss would’ve gotten me, you LITERALLY saved my life, so I’m not gonna sit here and let you say that”

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Kevin leaned into the touch somewhat, placing his hand over the other’s “I…I… But maybe if I had just… Gotten there sooner, you… You wouldn’t have lost… Lost…” And then Kevin trailed off but Streber looked over to the stump where his arm used to be before looking back at Kevin “Okay first of all, you can’t be everywhere at once and second, you still got there before I lost too much blood, I guess you could say I’ve been UNarmed yeah …BUT, I’m still alive and it’s thanks to you!”

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Kevin sighed and smiled somewhat “...I’m glad you’re still ali- …Wait…” Kevin just realized what Streber had just said, the other had a cheeky little grin on his face and this made Kevin groan and pinch the bridge of his nose “...Streber, that wasn’t… Even the slightest bit funny” Streber grinned wider “...You’re smiling!” Streber booped Kevin on the nose and his face turned slightly red “Even after all this, you’re already making ‘jokes’ again” Streber nodded “Yep! I… Hey, okay so it wasn’t my best one but you don’t need to say that with quotation marks” He pouted to which Kevin chuckled at.

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“You’re a nerd, and I love that about you” Kevin leaned over to place a kiss directly on Streber’s lips, the two blushing brightly before Kevin pulled away, and then Streber looked at Kevin, looked into his eyes and squinted “...You look exhausted …Well uh, more so than usual” Kevin sighed and somewhat nodded “...I wasn’t able to get much sleep but I’ll be fine” Streber frowned “Kev… You really should try, look, I’m fine now! I’m awake, I’m a l i v e… I’m okay, after all... You cannot kill a vampire THAT easily mwahaha”

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Kevin somewhat laughed at that but shook his head and rubbed his eyes “I-I’ll get some sleep later, dude” Streber frowned but nodded, he could see the look on Kevin’s face.

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The other really did need sleep but he wanted to just talk to Streber now that he was awake, he had been waiting for like a few days now and then the other looked at Kevin “...Oh, I… Uh, Kev, I have some questions to ask” Kevin nodded “Oh, uh, Sure thing dude, what’s up?” And then Streber sighed “...What happened to him?”

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Kevin looked confused for a moment before the other finally spoke up, there was a notable tremble to his voice “T-The Devil fellow… The one who took my arm” Kevin’s eyes widened a bit at that “D-Devil fel- …I-” And that’s when it hit him.

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A few days ago, when the incident took place, Kevin had only found Streber after, he had found Streber laying there, clutching something and he was crying, and then he saw blood pooling out which nearly made his heart stop, he remembered running over and screaming out Streber’s name and then looking over the wound and that’s when he realized the other’s arm had been ripped off.

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What made it so much worse is when he saw the bone on the ground next to Streber, he felt himself about to vomit that night but he stifled it, well until they got to the hospital where he went into the bathroom to promptly throw up.

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He was the one to first patch up the wound, he shuddered when remembering Streber’s scream of pain while he was trying to stop the bleeding, and then he was calling the police for an ambulance, he tried to get Streber to stay conscious as long as he could, the one thing that truly broke his heart that night was Streber’s weakened voice saying ‘I-I don’t wanna die, Kev…” Kevin had reassured him of course that he wasn’t going to die.

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Just telling him he was going to be fine, that it’s alright, just stay with him, after calling for paramedics, Kevin could hear the sirens getting closer but Streber had started to lose consciousness which made Kevin panic even more, he just kept trying over and over to tell Streber to stay with him, that the paramedics were nearly there but Streber lost consciousness before they got there, but how he came to find Streber… Those k i d s… Those annoying kids, the ones who ALWAYS bring him trouble, they told him they had been followed by this big red guy since the haunted house.

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He knew Streber worked there on Halloween every year, after ushering the kids outside and away from the danger, they kept begging for the stupid candy cane or whatever, he just threw a box of candy at them and told them to take it and go to which they did and then he quickly ran off into the night.

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He didn’t know if Streber had been alright but he needed to go check, he needed to go check on his boyfriend just in case and he’s very glad he did now, he wouldn’t dare tell Streber that monster came to the candy store immediately after, he didn’t want to make the other panic.

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“The police said he’s dead, they shot him and ran him over a bunch of times, he’s gone …And good riddance” Streber sighed in relief it seemed, he seemed delighted by this knowledge “Oh yeah, he deserved it, all of it, although I was kinda hoping that my forearm got lodged in his throat and he died from that” Kevin’s eyes widened a bit but he somewhat laughed, that was petty and spiteful and VERY rightfully so.

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“...Holy shit, S-Strebs” Streber only nodded and made an ‘mhm’ sound which made Kevin crack up even more and oh that was a delightful sound for Strebs to hear, he loved hearing Kevin laugh like that it made him blush.

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“How long have I been out?” Kevin then perked up at that question “Uhh… About… I think… I-I think it’s been a day or two” Streber’s eyes widened “...O-Oh… No wonder my throat was so dry, and now that I think about it, I’m feeling really hungry but ugh, hospital food” Streber shuddered and Kevin nodded sympathetically “Yeah, hospital food isn’t the greatest but it’s better than nothing” Streber nodded.

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“Yeah, I-I should probably get more pain meds because I’m starting to hurt again” Kevin looked concerned at that for a moment but then Streber spoke up “After this though, I want you to get some sleep too, please?”

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Kevin was going to retort but he saw the look in Strebs’ eyes and he sighed “...Fine, fine…” Streber pushed the little button and waited until one of the nurses walked in, luckily enough having a tray of food, some water, and medicine also “How are you feeling, hon?” Streber sighed “...It’s starting to hurt again, and I’m hungry, heh… I guess I uh, called you at the right time huh?”

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The nurse smiled and nodded and set the tray down and then walked over to Kevin and handed him some extra food “A lil somethin’ extra for you too, you don’t seem like you’ve eaten in awhile”

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Kevin and Streber both thanked the nurse who nodded “I’ll come back in a bit to take your tray, hon” The nurse then left out of the room, then Streber looked down to his food, took a bite and then cringed “...Eugh… It’s better than nothing I guess but still…” Kevin nodded and began munching away on what the nurse gave him as well, the two of them chatted while eating.

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Even a bit after Streber had taken his meds, the nurse had came in and removed the tray as well and then the other laid down and got as comfortable as he could be, he still continued to talk to Kevin for a little bit until the medicines he took began making him feel sleepy.

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Kev told him to sleep well and Streber didn’t ask but very much demanded Kevin start trying to sleep as well, and of course while Kev didn’t necessarily want to, he would for Streber, he walked over and sat down in the chair, it's not the most comfortable but he just needs SOME sleep for now.

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The two then fell asleep, Streber falling asleep much quicker than Kevin thanks to the medicine but Kevin did eventually fall asleep as well, the two were completely exhausted from the whole ordeal.

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. . .

The next few days that passed had mostly been just Kevin and Streber just talking and joking around, having fun, well as much fun as they could being in a hospital, and then finally the day arrived where Streber was released from said hospital, Kevin was the one to drive him home and for the most part Streber was looking out the window.

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He just looked… He looked like now that he could focus more so, now that he wasn’t as exhausted or ‘high’ on pain medicine, he just looked like he was processing everything “...Are you… Okay, Strebs?”

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The other looked over, seemingly startled as if Kevin had just yelled “O-Oh, oh yeah, I’m fine, just… Thinking about things…” Kevin nodded “...Do you… Wanna talk about it, or no?” When Streber shook his head Kevin just nodded at that, and he left it alone, just letting Strebs process and think about what’s happened in the last few days.

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Eventually they got to Streber’s house and Kevin helped him out of the car and into the house, Streber sighed “Thanks, Kev, but it… You really don’t have to do all this for me” Kevin shook his head “I don’t mind, dude, honest”

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And then there was a pause before Kevin asked “Do you… Want me to stay orrrr…” Streber looked up to Kevin and smiled somewhat, there was something else there too though but Kevin couldn’t make out what “...I’d like that” Kev then smiled and then he realized

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“Oh sh… I almost forgot, give me just a second” And then Kevin ran off and out the door which confused Streber at first but then he saw Kevin coming back inside with something behind his back, he tilted his head slightly before Kevin handed him his vampire costume back.

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“I uh, had someone help me fix the sleeve for you, patch it up for you… And uh also, I know you REALLY like Vampires sooo…” Kevin was blushing and he looked almost embarrassed even as he revealed a few dvd cases, Streber set the costume down and then took the dvd cases and gasped when he saw what was on them

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“N-No way…! You… Did you record those Dracula movies, the hammer films ones?! ALL OF THEM?!” Streber’s eyes were practically sparkling with excitement and Kevin smiled at that, face still as red as could be as he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

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“U-Uhh yeah, I didn’t watch ‘em though …B-Because I uh, I actually wanted to… To watch them with you” Streber smiled, genuinely at that and set them down on the table before walking over and hugging Kevin tightly “...Thanks Kev, you're so sweet to me, heh… No wonder you work at a candy shop, that kinda job suits you with just how sweet you are” Streber then leaned up to kiss Kevin.

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Kevin kissed back, the two blushing as brightly as they could and Kevin chuckled somewhat awkwardly when Streber pulled away “...You know, I can’t even say that’s not funny because it’s just so corny that it’s cute…” Streber grinned and finger gunned “I’m gonna go put on my vampire costume and then we can watch the movies!”

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Kevin laughed “Of course you are, you love that costume” And then he whispered the last bit as Streber was grabbing his costume and beginning to walk off “...It looks nice on you…” Strebs paused and looked back with a little smirk, fangs showing.

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“I heard that you know~” Kevin immediately looked embarrassed but he had a slight smile on his face nonetheless as he watched Streber walk off into another room, he was at least happy Streber seemed to be feeling better now, after a bit Streber came back in his vampire costume, one sleeve definitely a lot shorter than the other but even then.

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He then did a little twirl before grabbing his cape and swaying it dramatically, positioning it over most of his face “The Vampire is back~! Back and ready to frighten~! Mwahahaha!” Kevin laughed at that, he saw the pure delight radiating from Streber’s face as he swung his cape back behind him.

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“Indeed he is!” Kevin exclaimed, meanwhile Streber was creeping over slowly to him “Silly… You’re supposed to fear the Vampire, Kev…! I could suck your dick- I MEAN BLOOD… I COULD SUCK YOUR BLOOD, O-OH GOD…” Kevin burst out laughing at that, he was even borderline wheezing meanwhile Streber was covering his face in embarrassment, using his cape to cover it mostly.

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Kevin walked over and gently pulled the cape out of Streber’s face and leaned down, gently touching foreheads with the other “...You are literally the biggest nerd I think I’ve ever met”

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Streber grinned sheepishly but before he could say anything he heard Kevin sigh and then he felt the other kiss him for a moment before pulling away “...And I love that about you” Streber then laughed, albeit a bit awkwardly “...Love you too, don’t tell anyone about that, please, I’ll never live it down”

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Kevin snorted “...What makes you think I’ll let you live it down, Strebs? You said it yourself, you could suck m-” Streber pushed his hand in Kevin’s face and pushed him out of the way “SHUT UP- C-Come on now! We have got movies to watch ahahaha!”

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Kevin laughed but nodded and then he walked over, Streber picking up the dvd cases and looking over them before finding the right one and he pulled it out and then tapped on it with his finger “This is the first one we should watch, I won’t deny they are a little… Cheesy in some regards but I’m sure you’ll like them!”

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Kevin smiled, genuinely “Anytime I get to spend with you is time I like, even if we watch corny vampire movies” Streber laughed at that “Considering what you just said, I think you are the corny one, my dear!”

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Kevin and Streber shared a laugh at that one and then Streber popped the dvd into the player, Kev then perked up “Want me to make us some popcorn?” Streber nodded “Sure!” And then the other headed off into the kitchen to go make some popcorn, meanwhile Strebs grabbed the remote, sat down and paused the movie, waiting for Kevin to get back.

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It didn’t take the other too long before he came back with a bowl full of popcorn and Streber immediately grabbed a handful when he set the bowl down and chowed down on it “U g h… So good, so much better than any of that… Eugh, that hospital food” Kevin nodded “Yeah…” And then Streber pushed play and the movie began.

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Honestly it was nice seeing Streber so excited about something, even if Kevin didn’t much like anything horror related …He supposed vampires could be the exception, he always loved hearing Streber infodump all his knowledge about vampires. It was nice just seeing him happy, not stressed out or in pain.

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Even though he kept quiet for a lot of the movies, he did ask Streber some questions here and there about Dracula to which Streber happily answered his questions, even giving him a bit more knowledge than he was really asking for which he nodded at, seemingly more interested in listening to Streber talk than paying attention to the movies when questions were asked.

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After a bit they had just settled down, Kevin cuddling Streber on the couch who snuggled close next to him and sighed, it was a content sigh, they watched the first three movies for the night, and then at some point Kevin had said he had to go pee, he got up and headed toward the bathroom.

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. . . About twenty minutes later and Kevin was still not back yet, so that made Streber blink in confusion as he paused the movie and stood up “...Kevin?” …There was no answer, but Streber just sighed “...Maybe he ate too much popcorn…” He then set back down, waiting for another while, keeping the movie paused until Kevin got back.

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Another ten minutes passed and that’s when Streber shot up off the couch and called out for Kevin, louder this time “Kev?! Are you alright in there?!” The bathroom wasn’t THAT far away so he could hear the other for sure now that he was yelling.

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There was nothing but silence, eerie silence that made Streber shudder “...A-Alright Kev, this is genuinely NOT funny… D-Don’t scare me like this, come on now, a-after all I’ve been through you... You know better” …Again no response and Streber began getting more nervous, he began shifting in place as he called out a few more times.

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Eventually after a bit he heard something… …Thudding? It sounded like really heavy footsteps and then Streber realized, Kevin didn’t have footsteps like that and was that… A knife getting sharpened…? And then his eyes widened when he saw a large shadowy figure, looming in the hallway.

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…The large figure stepped out into the light so he could be seen and sure enough, it was exactly the one Streber feared the most… That big red devil guy, face covered in blood, knife as well, he even had blood he was licking off of his fingers “I’m afraid Kevin won’t be able to continue the movies with ya tonight, S t r e b e r…”

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The other’s breath hitched in his throat, eyes wide as they could be and he noticeably began trembling “Y-Yo… You… N-No no! NO! K-KEV SAID… HE- HE SAID YOU WERE D E A D! HE… HE… HE SAID T-TH-THE-THE… THE POLICE… T-THEY… THEY KILLED YOU!” Streber cried, tears beginning to prick his eyes as the other began approaching.

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Streber had winded up backing up and unfortunately cornering himself, he heard the other laugh “Well, Kevin l i e d~ Did you REALLY think, you could get rid’a me t h a t easily?” And then he was fully cornered, Bob breathing heavily as he stared down at Streber, hungry eyes and blood dripping from his mouth, Streber had slumped down in the corner.

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Trembling, breathing rapidly, and even beginning to cry, no no… No… This couldn’t be happening, K-Kevin had to be alright…! A-And this… This wasn’t real! That devil bastard was dead! Kevin would have NEVER lied to him! He gasped when the other knelt down, he sounded like he was starting to hyperventilate now “Aww… What’s w r o n g, Streber? Sad that your little boyfriend is g o n e? That he ain’t here to save ya?”

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Bob reached a clawed hand, swiping away his tears which made the other tremble even more, trying to reel back from the sickeningly gentle touch “G-Get away from me! P-Please get away, p-please no… Nononono…” Streber just gripped at his head with his hand “T-This isn’t real… Y-You aren’t real… Y-You’re dead! I-I can’t… A-And… O-Oh god… O-Oh K-Kevin… Kevin n o… Please…”

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Bob tilted his head, grin widening as he looked at Streber’s arm, he suddenly grasped at it which made Streber cry and scream out, he began to go into a full blown panic, trying desperately to tear his arm away from the other’s iron-like grasp, he was even clawing at the other, kicking and desperately trying to get away “L-LET ME GO! LET ME GO!” He screamed over and over again as he struggled, tears falling down his face and he heard the other coo, he felt sick to his stomach… He felt like vomiting right now.

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“You know… Now that I’m rememberin’... Your arm was a little r a w… But by g o d it was the b e s t arm I’ve ever eaten~” And then a pause, before his grin widened even more, manic eyes boring down into the other, clearly enjoying the other’s cries, screams, and even pleas…

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“And… Did you know… That, that there boyfriend of yours was such a good appetizer~?” He chuckled, and then he got closer to Streber’s face momentarily, staring into fearful teary eyes “But I think… I’m ready for the main course!”

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He laughed, squeezing Streber’s arm even tighter which caused the other to cry out in pain, he was gripping Bob’s hand as violently as he could, trying to tear it off of him even “P-Please d-don’t…! NO- NO AH AHHH!” Streber screamed the loudest that any human being could scream, as he felt it, flesh ripping, bones crunching and breaking off, intense agony suddenly coursing through him, he heard that cruel laughter, growing louder and louder as his other arm was stripped from his being.

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“S-STREBER!” The other’s eyes shot open upon hearing a voice yell out his name, he cried out and fell onto the floor suddenly, eyes darting around frantically before something came into view, he was far too panicked to notice it, he thought it was h i m “S-STAY AWAY! P-PLEASE! PLEASE DON’T KILL ME!” He cried out, desperately trying to scramble back

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“S-Streber! Streber…!” That voice called out again, and… And… W-Wait a moment, he… He knew that voice, he knew that gentle voice anywhere, he looked up, trying to focus his eyes despite his anxiety being severe right now.

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“S-Strebs… D-Dude it’s me… It’s me, honey…” He was rarely the type to use pet names or anything of the sort, but sometimes he would, as Streber focused his eyes he noticed the other knelt down in front of him “...K..e… Kev…?” Kevin nodded.

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“I-It’s me, Strebs… It’s me, y-you… You were having a nightmare, man… You suddenly started screaming and crying in your sleep, struggling, and... And..., I… Just… Are you alright?” Streber immediately looked down to his other arm, the one actually intact, moving it around, checking over it, he felt tears pricking his eyes.

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He looked up to Kevin, noticing the look of concern and panic written on his face even though he was trying to hide it and then suddenly leaned forward, hugging Kevin and sobbing into his shoulder “Y-You’re alive… You’re not dead…” Kevin was confused by that statement before Streber sniffled “I-I… I-I’m sorry…” Kevin hugged him back immediately.

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“Strebs, s-sweetheart…” He paused, taking a breath to stifle his panic “It’s alright… You have nothing to apologize for, dude… …Do you… Wanna talk about the nightmare, what happened?” Streber continued to cry into Kevin’s shoulder for a bit longer before sniffling and raising up, still hugging him tightly.

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“I-It was about… H-Him… I… I… He… He was still alive, a-and and… And… He… He killed you… And just… Just…” Streber went on to explain the nightmare in detail to Kevin who felt tears pricking his eyes momentarily, his heart hurt for Streber so much as he hugged the other tighter for a moment before leaning back and cupping the other’s face

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“...Strebs, look at me, please?” The other was confused before looking into Kevin’s eyes, he saw the tears in the other’s eyes but before he could speak, Kevin spoke up “I’m not going ANYWHERE, you hear me?” He paused to clear his throat.

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“I’m not gonna let some dumb… Big red devil guy, a doll, or anything get you… Or me…! I don’t care what or WHO it is, I’m not letting anyone get you, I’ll always protect you, man… I love and care about you too much to lose you”

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Streber looked at Kevin who just kept reassuring him that he was here, he was alive, and he had no intentions of leaving Streber, not e v e r… “Yo-You said he’s d e a d, r-right…?” Kevin nodded “Strebs, I wouldn’t lie to you like that, if he was still alive, I would tell you…”

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Streber took a deep shaky breath in “B-But what… What if he’s… Not? What if… W-What if he’s out there, what if he’s still…” And Kev could see Streber spiraling a little so he quickly planted a kiss to quiet the other down before just touching foreheads with him “Strebs, listen to me, he’s d e a d, he’s not coming back to get you nor me, he’s g o n e, those officers made sure of it”

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And then a pause “...Even if he was, which he’s NOT… I would make sure he wouldn’t get to you again, I promise…” Streber opened his mouth to retort, he would never actually want Kev to put himself in danger again but after panicking like he had, he had wasted a lot of energy so he simply sighed and sniffled and settled with a “...T-Thank you, Kev… That means the world to me…” Kevin smiled at the other and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

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Streber then looked around and he saw that, in fact, they hadn’t even made it to the third vampire movie yet, he must’ve… Just dreamed they did and then Kevin perked up “...Do you… Wanna continue the movies? Orrr… Would you rather go back to sleep?” Streber shook his head rapidly.

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“...Let’s… Watch a few more movies, th-then we’ll go to bed” Kevin nodded and helped Streber up off the ground, carrying him almost bridal style over to the couch, he had to do it quickly because he was v e r y much not the strongest.

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And so the night continued with both Streber and Kevin cuddling on the couch, watching vampire movies, Kevin asking more questions as the series continued and even cracking a few jokes to ease Streber’s anxiety down even more, he smiled when he heard that cute giggle.

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Eventually, it was getting late and Streber got up to turn off the movie as the two were starting to get ready for bed, because it’s not like Kevin hasn’t slept over with him before, they’ve been together for a long while now… They got situated, brushing their teeth, Kevin changed into some comfortable clothing, Streber just kept his vampire costume on as it was practically a comfort item to him, it wouldn’t be uncomfortable to sleep in and then the two crawled into bed.

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It had been an absolutely exhausting night for the both of them, Kevin didn’t realize just HOW exhausted he was until his head hit the pillow, he had closed his eyes until… “...H-Hey, K-Kev?” Kevin’s eyes opened again and he turned to Streber “Yeah? What’s up?”

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There was a pause before Streber turned toward him, making a grabby hand at Kevin who smiled and began cuddling much closer to Streber, the two sighing, content in this moment before Streber somewhat smirked “....Hey Kevin” The other sighed, much louder this time “Strebs, I swear… Go to sle-”

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Streber quickly spoke up “Hey hey, just, just listen… Can I… Perhaps give you… A Vampire’s Kiss? Hm?” Kevin’s eyes widened at that and his face turned a shade redder “I-I O-OH! O-Oh w…Wel… Well uhhh I um…” Kevin just began to stutter and he could NOT finish his sentences to save his life which Streber just chuckled at “...Is that a yesss?”

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Kevin didn’t say anything, he just looked very embarrassed, skin heating up even as he burned with said embarrassment, especially when he just pointed to his neck, this made Streber laugh as he leaned even closer, nuzzling into Kevin’s neck.

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He sighed against the other’s neck, he could feel goosebumps forming, and he could feel just how heated the other’s skin was, it was always cute to see Kevin so embarrassed and flustered, Streber just nuzzled his neck for a few moments longer before he placed a gentle kiss on his neck.

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And then one kiss turned into several across his neck and he swore if Kevin got any warmer, he’d start burning right then and there as well, and then he gently bit down on Kevin’s neck, he wasn’t going to bite down hard enough to draw blood, oh heavens no! He’d never hurt Kevin like that…

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Kevin let out a slight whine when he felt Streber bite his neck, he was as red and as warm as can be, getting even more embarrassed when Streber told him the whine he just made was adorable, he awkwardly chuckled “...M-Man… You are such a l-little weirdo…” Streber laughed at that and then pulled away, just cuddling Kevin now.

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“Says the one who just whined and seemed to enjoy that bite~ You know… You’re supposed to f e a r the Vampire’s Bite, not enjoy it” Kevin huffed at that, getting even more embarrassed “Okay, I’m sorry Mr. Can I give you a Vampire’s Kiss, first of all, you… You…”

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And then he began fumbling over his words, trying somehow to retort back to that, Streber had a mischievous grin on his face as he listened to Kevin desperately trying to retort back but then he just huffed in frustration “Just- Just, you know what, just go to sleep, Strebs”

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The other laughed at that and teased Kevin a bit for not having a good comeback and then Kevin was glaring at him “...I will literally get up out of this bed and leave you with no cuddles, dude, you will be cuddleless” Streber gasped in mock offense “Kev! How incredibly cruel of you!”

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Streber then put his arm over his head, putting on a faux look of hurt “That hurts me… To know that my oh so handsome boyfriend, would simply… Leave me, to be… Cuddleless…” He was even sounding dramatic …Okay, sounding MORE dramatic than he usually did… Kevin opened his mouth to retort but he found himself nearly laughing at the ridiculousness that was Streber’s dramatics right now.

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“...Okay fine, you will not go cuddleless tonight, but… Only because you just redeemed yourself with that” And then Streber laughed “Yaaay!” He cuddled up close to Kevin, making a happy noise to which the other smiled at.

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“Goodnight Strebs, I love you, dude…” Streber genuinely smiled at that, both he and Kevin sharing a regular kiss now together before pulling back and getting comfortable “Goodnight, my sweet…” A pause before he sighed, content in this moment, much more relaxed than he had been earlier, Streber felt completely safe, protected in his boyfriend’s loving arms right now “I love you too, Kev…”

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fjkldfkjfgdls I hope y’all enjoy this? I got another one planned up, it’s more so an gonna be a thing where Streber is an ACTUAL Vampire bc you know what not turn the vampire lover into an ACTUAL vampire at least once

#spooky month sr pelo #spooky month kevin #spooky month streber #kevin x streber #tw cannibalism #tw blood #tw gore #tw vomit mention #tw anxiety attacks #tw panic attacks #tw suggestive joke #IT IS FLUFFY I PROMISE Y'ALL- IT IS VERY MUCH FLUFFY #The Cryptid's Writings

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realasslesbian · 1 year

Text

Also, lemme paint a picture for you, of maybe the lowest moment of my life, due entirely to the robodebt scheme, since I'm so good at 'fun creative writing' lmao

It's been raining all week. The roof of the car that I live in is leaking right on my pillow, but there's not much I can do about that except put a takeaway container that I found outside in the gutter on my pillow and empty it every fifteen minutes. I've just come from the doctor where I spent my last $50 getting a large skin cancer surgically removed from my shoulder. The doctor, who had his nose wrinkled the whole time, because I hadn't showered in a whole week, told me to 'try and keep the wound clean'.

I drive to the backstreet behind my work, where I have to be at 6am the next morning. As I turn into the street, my car stops. I wrap a plastic bag around my twelve stitches and get out in the rain to push the car off the road. After half an hour of tinkering, I figure out the fuel pump has shit itself. Thank god for my 6.6GPA science degree, I know exactly how to fix it. So I call up the nearest mechanic (a two hour walk away) and reserve the part for when my paycheck comes in next week. By this point I've busted open three of those stitches. But it's not like I can go anywhere and do anything about it, so I just try and thread them back together as best I can (yes, it does hurt, a lot) then I smother it in antiseptic and hope for the best.

I get ready for bed, by constructing a gutter out of plastic bags to divert the water from the leaking roof off my damp pillow. I'm pretty exhausted at this point, so despite being wet from the rain and sticky from several days of unwashed sweat, I fall right asleep. I'm occasionally woken up by hoons screeching by, slamming on the horn when they see a car with foggy windows and screaming 'wake up' as they go by. I'm sort of used to this frequent nightly reminder of society's active disdain for the less fortunate.

I go into work the next day at 6am. I work most shifts alone, but at swap over my co-workers make sure to let me know I look and smell like shit. They know I'm homeless. They don't care. No one does. Well, that is except for the dog walker who calls the cops on Day Three of me being stuck in the same spot. The cops give me a move on order. Thanks to my first class legal honours degree I know I have 24 hours to comply before they can do anything. My paycheck comes in at midnight, so I'm hoping to have my car back on the road the next day.

I eat some white rice, take a leak in an ice cream container, and go to sleep under my makeshift gutter. I wake up in the morning to absolutely excruciating pain in my jaw. I dunno what it is, but it's the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. There doesn't appear to be anything immediately wrong, other than swelling in my gums, so I just down half a packet of pain killers and make a note to swing by the pharmacy for something stronger on my two hour walk to the mechanic today. It would later turn out I had developed bone cancer in my jaw from the abscess an untreated wisdom tooth had created.

Anyway, five hours and about 20km of walking with a 10kg fuel pump hanging off my one good shoulder later and I'm back at my broken down home. I have about three hours to get out of here before the cops show up to fine and/or arrest me for 'camping illegally' on a city street. Usually replacing a fuel pump would take me half hour, max, but I'm in significant pain. The painkillers the pharmacist gave me are helping, but I'm still borderline delirious. I spend a long time just laying under the car, the greasy city rainwater in the gutter running directly into my now infected surgical wound, just clutching my face, trying to make the pain in my jaw stop. I kind of want to cry, but I ain't cried since I was a kid and I just don't really know how to physically do that anymore. I lay under my car, not really knowing how much time had passed, but pretty anxious the police would show up any minute.

In my semi-delirious state I think about how it wasn't supposed to be like this. I'd worked so hard at my education for nearly a decade for it to not be like this. And yet the Australian government had swooped in and destroyed that burgeoning career for no other reason than wanton malice. I was supposed to be sitting at a nice dry desk, on the upper floors of some top tier law firm's CBD office tower. But I couldn't be admitted as a lawyer with a welfare debt to my name, even if it was obviously fabricated. My greatest discomfort should have been the squelch of rain in my nice shoes when I accidentally stepped into a puddle on the city street. It should have been beyond my comprehension to be laying in a gutter, not even worried about the dirty water in my busted open surgical wound, because of the overwhelming pain of some as yet unknown malady in my jaw. I would never have to know how many people (mainly men) will go out of their way to make a homeless person's life just a bit worse. I would never have to know how little it would take for friends and family to abandon me. I would never have to know that 'unconditional love' doesn't really exist, not when the government says people like me, people with welfare 'debts', don't deserve anything at all. And even back then I knew my 'debt' wasn't a real debt, but no one would believe me. Still not many do, but back then there was no class action, there was no royal commission, there was just the government's propaganda machine against dirty dole bludgers like me.

Anyway, I got the fuel pump in and, while I probably shouldn't have been driving in my state, I drove to the nearest doctor, the one who had originally done the cancer excision. I don't remember too much, due to the pain, but I do remember him saying things like 'what drugs did you take' and 'I'm not sure there's much of a point in me cleaning this up if you're going to not take care of it'. Such is life, I suppose.

I was fairly new to being homeless at that point. I'd only been on the streets a couple months. I've learned and toughened up a lot since then. I still have days and weeks and months where everything goes wrong, but I'm more prepared for it. For example, I try and keep antibiotics and prescription painkillers on hand, even if I have to lie to get a renewed prescription. I've upgraded to a good van and I voluntarily spend my days under it, learning everything I can, fixing and maintaining everything I can. I keep a close eye on the weather. I stay out of populated areas, even if that means staying unemployed, because in the long run, I'll save more money not paying the fines I get from nosy cityslickers than I would in a job. Also I taught myself how to hunt and forage, which reduces my grocery bill significantly. I've basically just accepted survival as the only option.

So I'm sorry if I come off a bit feral to anyone sitting pretty in their nice little house, with their nice little shower, and nice little toilet, and nice little $20 steak they bought at the supermarket, and their nice little as yet unchallenged fantasy land where they have more in common with politicians on $900 000 a year salaries than with the homeless, and their nice little government-sponsored ideas about how anyone the government says is a bad person is in fact a bad person, and their nice little personalities where it's apparently acceptable to have a dig at the traumatic experiences of people who have endured a hell that is so unimaginable, it must be a lie, no matter how fucking watertight the evidence is.

Actually lemme fact-check a little here, because turns out I'm not sorry for being feral. Actually I think the real ferals are the people who choose to ignore the factual, legally-proven, federal court-backed, royal commission-backed experiences of robodebt victims, and instead choose to dismiss, harass and abuse some of the most vulnerable members of society who have endured wrongs and horrors most people can scarcely imagine. I can't even begin to understand the mentality, the lack of basic human decency, that would be required to stoop so low. I could not possibly look on anyone, even my worst enemy, in such a situation and think to open my mouth and tell them 'lol you're lying get therapy uwu'. I just don't understand what has to be fundamentally wrong with a person for them to act this way. But I see it so much, most people are apparently of this calibre, and I'm apparently one of very few people able to see what tf is wrong with it. So I guess that's just another reason I'm better off being a feral out in the bush. I'll take torrential rain, the blistering heat, brown snakes, red backs, shitty dirt roads and plagues of rats over humanity any day.

#robodebt #homelessness #auspol #australia #authoritarian state #authoritarianism #corruption #corrupt government #poverty

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areax · 5 months

Text

babysitting headcanons and kind of also parenting ones for some reason

Astarion: He gets jealous of Tav’s other friends so he would be jealous of a baby. Would absolutely neglect it and has no patience with children. Has only ever had a good interaction with a child when Tav is looking directly at him pressuring him to say one (1) nice thing. Might be marginally better with teenagers but still liable to get into screaming matches with them.

Gale: I think he finds babies fascinating conceptually (what a cool idea to be seeing everything and learning everything for the first time!) but not in practice (messy, crying, needs a lot of attention, Gale is not very patient). I think he would be good with kids for a short period of time but after an hour or so would get really drained. A good uncle but not a good babysitter.

Halsin: Canonically takes care of kids and they all call him “Daddy Halsin” so of course he would be perfect. Would turn into a bear and let them ride around on his back. The only drawback is that it might frighten kids who are scared of large animals but he would do his best to make them feel safe.

Jaheira: I think she really wanted to be a good mom but failed at it because it’s basically impossible to balance that with saving the world multiple times, so it might be better for her to look after a kid sporadically; babysitting is a good in between. I know the Harpers are like cop adjacent but she's the kind of person to read the kid a book like “so the doggie says ‘woof woof’ … butterfly don’t say nothing … the pig says ‘Stop in the name of the Flaming Fist!’”

Karlach: I imagine she’s good with kids but it’s hampered by the fact that she can’t physically pick them up / change their diaper / stop them from running directly into a tree branch / etc. But if she has her upgrade she would be great! I can picture her having planned on having kids eventually, but then she was sent to the Hells. Sadly she is not a regularly available babysitter option :(

Lae’zel: Rolls her eyes at being asked to do so but will if she likes you enough. Teaches the kid swordplay; they come back with a black eye but they had a lot of fun. Not a good candidate for a regular babysitter but works in a pinch.

Minsc: Would accidentally sit on the baby. Tries his very very best but is not suited to it in the slightest. Would throw the kid too high into the sky when they wanted uppies and would always catch them but you’d be scared out of your mind. Better with older kids, would be a great camp counselor if your kid is super outdoorsy.

Minthara: Similar to Lae’zel, doesn’t want to do it but will if she likes you enough. Your kid will be returned fed and physically intact but probably either bored due to no enrichment or terrified because Minthara told them about The Spiders.

Shadowheart: Likes kids more than she would freely admit but isn’t inclined toward them. As with Gale, is alright with kids for maybe an hour but would not be a good choice for anything longer than that. However she is pretty responsible with them, she would watch your kid while you go smoke. She will do everything technically right but would not enjoy herself.

Wyll: THE BABYSITTER OF FRONTIERS!!!!!!!!!!! GREAT WITH KIDS, A GOOD TEACHER, NURTURING, PATIENT, KIND, AND YES HE IS SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!!! He is not only fun but also understands how to deal with difficult situations and knows what is age appropriate for a child (will NOT let them swing around a REAL sword like Lae’zel would). Absolutely the gold star standard, the only downside is that your kid might like him more than you. They will complain when it’s time to be picked up or when you come home because of how much fun they’ve been having. Would be the best parent on this whole list.

#bg3 #erika plays bg3

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madame-fear · 2 years

Note

screaming, crying, foaming at the mouth and gripping the sheets. your works are so good 😭🫶best writer ily

more josh templeton head canons pleassseeee 😽

i was thinking like some more cutesy cutesy stuff yknow “i like the way your hand looks in mine” and OMG dancing😭in the😭rain😭🥹 just absolutely kill me with the amount of cheesy fluff please. hugs from behind, first kiss, the confesion even omg. “would you date me if i was a worm?🥺”

~🦈

OMG THANK YOUUU!!! 😭😭💕💕 I swear it makes me so so happy to read that you like my work aaaaaa–🥺🥺❤ It's an honour to serve this lovely community 🥰

JOSH TEMPLETON FLUFF HEADCANONS COMING RIGHT UP 🙌 I decided to make general HCs for this one so I could write a variety of things for this cutie boy, so here it goes!! 🥰 Happy reading! 💕

(whoops I just noticed i also got a bit carried away with this one and might be long 😅 anyways! Hope you still enjoy it! Made it as fluffy as possible💕)

_________________________________________

Josh Templeton x Fem!Reader | General Fluff Headcanons

Lover boy™

Once this precious boy has fallen in love with you, you've got him. He's forever yours, he's the most LOYAL person you could ever have in your life.

When he realises he's falling deep for you (a lot), it would take him some time to actually admit it, even to himself. Just let him process what he's feeling, and he'll eventually give up and just admit it.

This cute boy would be so, so incredibly awkward and nervous around you 🥺 On the outside he tries to keep his cool, and on the inside he's absolutely losing his shit when he sees you near him.

You're one of the girls he told Zach he would date and have sex with

He's ALWAYS near you, or putting up excuses just to be near you. He thinks so highly of you, and he appreciates every second he gets to spend with you 💕

It takes him some time to actually confess to you that he's in absolute love with you. Despite being so, so afraid of rejection, he needs so badly to get it off his chest.

The day he finally confesses, he would do it by inviting you to hangout at his house after school. I definitely picture him with a whole speech prepared! Mainly because he knows he'll get extremely nervous and perhaps stutter, so he doesn't really want to fail, especially because he's confessing his undying love for you.

You had your first kiss that same day he confessed. Of course, you were the one who initiated the kiss because he was too nervous to do so.

After the kiss please tell him you love him too, because hIS WHOLE HEART WILL MELT WITH TONS OF EMOTIONS HE'S NEVER FELT BEFORE 🥺💕💕💕

Your best friend, Josh had invited you to hangout to his home after school. You had an enormous crush on him, so of course you said yes. You were enjoying yourself a lot spending time next to him, but the problem was, that you noticed him more nervous than usual.

Worried for him, you placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. His body immediatly tensed at the feeling of your hands touching him. "Hey, Josh, are you ok? I noticed you've been acting tense lately." Slightly tilting your head to your side, there was a spark of concern in your voice, as you gently rubbed his shoulder, his body was still tense.

He wasn't looking at you, he was directly looking to the floor. He took a depe breath, and sighed. "I have to tell you something." His voice was soft and quiet. "What is it? Please tell me. You know you can trust me." Your other hand went directly to grab his hand and slightly squeeze it. You could feel him getting even more tense under your touch.

Now, he lifted his sight and looked directly into your eyes, his blue eyes heavily pierced through your whole soul, provoking small butterflies in your stomach. In his cheeks, there was a hint of redness. "I..." He stopped for a brief moment, but continued, "I like you, (Y/N)!" Your eyes went wide at his sudden confession. Was this real? Or just a pretty dream? You thought to yourself.

"I love you. I love every little thing about you. Your smile never fails to lighten my day. You're so, so pretty in many ways, and so incredibly smart. I spend my nights completely sleepless because of you, I just can't get you off my mind. I get it if you don't li–" You interrupted his speech by throwing yourself at him as you immediatly wrapping your arms around his neck, and gave him a deep and loving kiss.

He was ar shock first, but eventually gave in the kiss, allowing himself to be immersed in your love as he softly caressed your cheek with his thumb. You then broke it apart after running out of air, and you looked at him with a wide grin on your face. "I love you too, silly. I always have, since the first time we met." His blush intensified, as a smile also began forming on his face. "So, that means...we are dating now?" You shyly asked, as you were still on top of him, your arms wrapped around his neck.

"Only if you want to." "Of course I do." "Then it's settled. We're a thing now."

Prepare to be absolutely loved by this cutie boy 💗

Baby steps with him, please. He's literally clueless about dating.

He's actually very shy when it comes to physicality, so it would take him a while to get used to it. Most likely you're the one initiating the physical contact with him until he's confident enough to do it first.

Eventually he'll start getting used to your kisses, hugs, cuddles, and all sort of physical contact. So, that's enough to boost his confidence a bit and make him kiss you first.

His kisses are so soft and are full of pure love 🥰 He loves cupping your cheeks when he kisses you because he loves how they feel in his hands 🥺💕

When it comes to display of affection, he prefers doing it in private rather than PDA. The only way he shows his love for you in public is by grabbing your hand and giving you a quick peck on your lips.

HAND HOLDING ALL THE TIME 24/7 💗

His favourite part of your body are your hands. He always grabs your hand and places it on top of his hand so he can caress it with his fingers.

For him, it's actually very cute how delicate and small your hands look in his 🥰

"You know," He finally spoke, after you two were in complete silence for a few good minutes. "I like the way your hand looks in mine."

At this point, hand kisses are very often. He'll love kissing your delicate hands, and sometimes he gives your finger little pecks.

Dates as often as possible! 💕

He loves the feeling of your body pressed against his, so expect him to randomly hug and kiss you from behind.

He would lovingly wrap his arms around your waist and press you against his body, also, he places his head on top of your shoulder and kisses both your cheek and neck 🥰

Considering that he likes always hugging you from behind, he would definitely be the big spoon in bed.

Speaking of beds & cuddles, you often spend time at his house and definitely spend the night there with him. He loves having you sleeping in the same bed as his! 💞 He gets to admire your beautiful and angelical face while you sleep.

Very often likes to play soft music and slow dance with you 💕Though, he kind of prefers slow dancing with you under the rain 😍

Only likes dancing with you bc he likes holding you near and twirling you around 💞

Just so, so pure and sweet. Expect to catch him staring at you completely lovestruck more than once! 🥺

Mess with his hair a bit, he'll absolutely move the feeling of having your fingers interwined in his wild hair.

His kisses are so gentle and passionate, and he'll love to either cup your cheeks or grab you by the waist while kissing you ♥️

If you ever want (and need), you can use his lap or shoulder as a pillow. If you place your head in his shoulder, he'll put an arm around you and sweetly rub your arms. But if you place your head in his lap, he'll love playing with your hair and touching your cheeks with the back of his fingers 😍

Biking around together all the time!

He loves teaching you how to use the katana. So, he'll usually take you to a forest or any place far away from the city & the people and will definitely teach you how to use it by slicing milk cartons.

He'll cheer you up and would be so proud of you when you slice several milk cartons without failing! You'll definitely be rewarded with a big smooch on your lips 😌

You're his top priority. This loving boy would take so, so much care of you, and promised to himself that he would always protect and defend you no matter the situation💗

"Would you date me if I was a worm?" "What–? Well, of course I fucking would. You'd be the cutest fucking worm I would've ever seen and I would take so much care of you."

#Super Dark times x reader #Super dark times josh x reader #Josh Templeton x reader #Super dark times headcanons #Josh Templeton headcanons #Super dark times josh headcanons #Charlie Tahan #Charlie Tahan x reader #Fluff headcanons

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queensparklekitten · 2 years

Text

what people who are too scared to go to the nether think it’s like: you step out of your portal. immediately you are swarmed by ghasts and magma cubes and angry piglins from all sides. while trying to run away you run directly into a massive patch of fire. by the time it goes out your health is below half. you pause to eat. while you are pausing, a ghast shoots at you and creates a massive explosion that knocks you into lava too deep to swim out of. it has been two minutes and you have already died despite your full diamond armour.

what going to the nether is actually like:

thinking too hard about piglins, about their fallen bastions and their culture and their beliefs and their history, the art and music they created and how much more they’ve probably lost in whatever destroyed their bastions, and then you start crying

COME ON BLAZES/WITHER SKELETONS/MAGMA CUBES WILL YOU FUCKING SPAWN ALREADY

*touches ground* something terrible happened here

making a campfire from sticks, a crimson log, and some soul sand from the side of the lava ocean in order to cook your hoglin meat because you forgot a furnace and can’t find blackstone, and feeling like macgyver as a result

*armor breaks* dammit *crafts a replacement piece from gold or leather depending on what exactly broke* *it works fine*

oh hey i forgot there was also normal mushrooms here

*saddles strider* we are lifelong bonded creatures now. you are my closest friend and i know you will always be by my side in the quest for pigstep and blaze powder. i will brave my most feared biome for you, my beloved, my partner in adventure, my companion of the lava sea

screaming into the void because you’ve thrown over 3 blocks’ worth of gold ingots and the piglins haven’t given you a single ender pearl yet

*sees a warped forest next to a crimson forest* this is the most beautiful thing i have seen in months i must stand and stare from this safe spot that is the top of a ��tree” while Chrysopoeia plays and makes me feel shrimp emotions

*throws stone sword out of inventory* *throws stone sword out of inventory* *throws stone sword out of inventory* *throws stone sword out of inventory*

silk touch mining every gilded blackstone that you run across so you can use it in a build and then never building anything with it

having that one biome you avoid wherever possible and it’s always either basalt delta, soul sand valley, or crimson forest

creating red string lore theories in your head about the way several of the nether biomes came to be, tying the ambience and the mobs and the names of certain items and places together to create a picture that terrifies and intrigues you, and then connecting it to the end, the deep dark, and what’s below the bedrock in a manner that edges closer and closer to cosmic horror

feeling like it is a hate crime that you can’t eat magma cream

ok so the blaze spawner is that way... wait no it’s that way... wait have i been here? is this new? never mind that chest’s empty i’ve definitely been here. dammit which way is the blaze spawner? i think this area was near the spawner. wait hang on it definitely isn’t. ok the spawner’s probably that way. hang on i’m going in circles. arrrrgghhhhh why does every part of a fortress look the saaaaaaaaame

mining quartz for XP and then leaving it there

having a fucking heart attack when you weren’t looking where you were going and accidentally fall off a cliff but survive

seeing crimson roots in a soul sand valley and either feeling every emotion at once or not even registering it

searching for a fortress for 3 hours

killing a ghast with its own fireball and feeling like a powerful godlike immortal smiting a lesser being

peacefully mining for netherite for hours, just listening to the music and watching lava flow down and not having to worry about mobs, and looking forward to doing it again once you finally run out of TNT

getting lost in your netherite mine

my inventory’s full already? *opens inventory to find 9 stacks of netherrack*

nyooming across soul sand with soul speed 3 while laughing at the skeletons and ghasts who cannot land a hit on you to save their lives and then crashing headfirst into a wall

this place is a message... and part of a system of messages... pay attention to it. omg a baby piglin! we considered ourselves to be a powerful culture. ooh, a ruined portal. this place is not a place of honor... no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here... aww, a baby strider! what is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. wow that crimson tree is MASSIVE, that’s gotta be like 20-something blocks. the danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours. oh hey look there’s that one fossil, i saw a video once about using the placement of those to find strongholds in the overworld. this place is best shunned and left uninhabited. oh hey some actually reachable glowstone

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mtnkat3 · 2 years

Text

Dreams... break throughs...

~11am.

I saw You... Alll...

in my dreams... the twilight kind...where I'm beginning to awaken in those early morning hours...the kind I fight to stay within because I wanna know what's happening.

I was struggling to carry lots of luggage, no surprise. But it was at my high school alma mater. Weird. No clue as to why that.

But I was wearing my new Tijgeress bball cap pulled low as I tend to wear them.

I was trying to make a phone call with an old flip phone & got some angry man that was dealing with bill collectors rather than my mom

then it jumped...

I come up to a crowded area, think was either the cafeteria or the band hallway...

& You ... Alll...

Where standing there...

staring straight at me...

almost like you were willing me to look at You...

& I did.

As you tugged your own cap lower.

But I felt the connection...

snap & sizzle with life.

Which is why I think God wanted me to remember this waking dream...

You...Alll -are- there... & watching me.

Which is why I have kept writing, even though I am only allowing myself no more than 4 letters a day.

Even when...

I am feeling low, despondent, depressed. I'm struggling.

Especially waking up.

It's why I'm gonna have to go back to lots of alarms on my phone.

I was waking happy with You...Alll,

& at the beaches I was waking up.

No problem.

[Welll...wasn't sleeping but ~3.5 hrs a night.]

I would sit & watch the sunrise until the continental breakfast was open at 6.30a.

I took ~+3,000 pictures & videos of such, sunrises & sets, storms, the beach, surf, oh & food. Lol!

[I don't do a lot of people shots unless I know them because I don't want people to feel...uneasy.]

I've had the photography bug since I was a kid. One of my many things to plan to purchase is a good DSLR, that isn't too heavy for me.

OMG do I wanna get some good moon shots! I've lost so many good ones because of a phones camera can't cut it. Sigh.

[Arthritis in my hands & wrists suck. Especially when I love baking, cake decorating, ...doing cross stitching & such. One reason I do so much on my phone, less pressure of writing. Phones a tool to me.]

Anyways.

I'm fighting the pain... silence, distance, ... the unknown... to me.

Daily.

It's a struggle.

Every moment.

I feel You...Alll near.

Like a sheet of glass between us... but I know You...Alll are there.

It gives me solace.

And it gives me angst.

Cause I wanna go in the garage & grab one of the sledgehammers the felon contractor left behind. Heck, one I could barely lift!

But I wanna throw that thing with every ounce of my being through that glass...

Is that it God?

The veil is made of glass?

And I will have the tools to smash it... whether that be a cartridge ... or a sledgehammer.

I am gonna be... she hulk... & smash it to smithereens.

When God tells me I can.

But there's also I think You...Alll will know... when my address changes...

Still debating should I wait to change my driver's license & such until I have that new address.

My soul is screaming do it now t!

[Probably because I want myself back!]

But the practical question is am I gonna have to do everything again...

Cause I tell You...Alll, right now.

I'm gonna do one more time. For You...Alll.

Then never again. I want Your...Alll's. Forever.

I'm old fashioned & independent.

I will either be dynamite or... forever.

Flash...

Moan...

I'm looking up at You...Alll right now...

I see You...Alll each...

Some...shadowed but the one directly before me...

I'm staring into Your...Alll's eyes...

crying...

I feel as this is a prison wall.

The bright light... I am so close...

I am smaller than You...Alll.

Blushing giggle.

[Something that broke thru recently. I might have wide hips, but I'm not...wide. other than height, shoulders, & hips, I'm built kinda.. smaller than I thought. the breadth of my ribcage... face, wrists, ankles... Just.. strong. Once the chub is gone... T.R.O.U.B.L.E. 🎶 slow grin.]

Seee... I've been made to feel like this big fat chubby clumsy giraffe since... teen? Just... t... your not smart enough, pretty enough... so you go be somebody's house slave. Sigh. Anyways.

Do I have to share this with the world!?!?!

Bowed. Humbled. Embarrassed kat.

Yes Father.

Yes my Love/s...?...

Sigh.

I have only encountered women taller or bigger than me... 3 or 4 times in my life? I mean Taylor Swift is 5'11". And Faith Hill is also 5'9". But I mean "normal people." I think a couple at the beach, & one at the store I worked at. And the ladies I grew up with my best friend was a couple taller. And I come from a mix of tall & short. I never felt weird until I came to Georgia in 1998. I was always around people around my height. But now... I'm usually the tallest woman in the room. Especially when I wear heels. Grin.

People.

Get over yourselves.

Women are tall tooo.

And stop teaching kids the stereotypes.

My height, build, physical stature were Created by God Almighty.

Not by me.

My "plumbing" is God's Creation.

Even as He broke a +200 year tradition of all males with me & my siblings.

I am a woman & proud of it.

But the genetics He had pass thru my family to me. I have features from many different ancestors. From my multi hewed ever changing eyes, to my mocha auburn hair that changes in the light too. To how I carry my weight. To how people really can't get my age. Which will be even more so as I regain my health.

"Don't judge what you can't understand."

[I have that & many affirmations tees.]

I don't care if I'm in my bball caps, tees & jeans. Of if I'm in my pageant ballgown. Or in my "Sunday dress" for church.

I am a woman.

Created, Molded, Guided, Taught.

by God.

[I so can't wait to find a farmer's market, co-op or something. I want fresh, not factory. Get into meal prep & healthy again. Detox my system. But yes, I will always have a sweet tooth as big as my head.

I finally got this insight recently, diabetes like a lot of my alphabet soup of conditions, is an inflammation of my system.

It's how my body's responding to the stress & trauma of being in survival mode for more than a decade.

Being controlled & hated takes a massive toll. Though with pcos I was predisposed, it could've been held off.

This. Please forgive me God. You...Alll. for meeting someone[wh] I should never have.

The only thing positive, I have grown from it. I pray into a good version of myself. Especially as I am making my way out the door.

To be the best version of myself.

For God. For me as a woman, & His daughter. For You...Alll, my soul's precious priceless treasured Gifts, Mate/s... .

The only thing I want shattered in our lives is the wall of glass separating us.

As I stand looking up into each of Your... Alll's eyes...

Even when most...are shadowed from me...

I feel Your...Alll's eyes.

I feel Your...Alll's presence.

I feel Your...Alll's need, want, cravings... to surround me...

As much as I want, need, crave to be surrounded... & surrounding You...Alll.

There's nothing in this universe that I want more than to kiss every part of Your...Alll's souls.

Make sure each of You...Alll feel & know...

each of You...Alll are perfectly imperfect to me.

You...Alll are each perfect just as You...Alll are in my eyes.

I know we all have scars, both those on our physical body's, & those on our psyches. Whether they be visible to anyone but the one that wears them, they exist.

As much as I would love to have the power to remove them from each of You...Alll, I do not, cannot. I can only be the salve to Your...Alll's souls as You/Alll & God do the mending.

The healer, protector...within my soul...

I want to rub my fingers over each & every one... look into Your...Alll's soul-filled eyes... & cover each with my tears & prayers for God's Grace to cover alll...

And the scars to loosen their power thru God's Love flowing between us...

Giving them to God they will fade.

And I will smile as the light in Your...Alll's eyes brightens...

Until all the shadows are but old tattered memories.

Because I love each of You...Alll... as You Alll are. Perfectly imperfect.

Perfectly Made. Perfectly Created.

By God. For God.

And I will be Blessed beyond measure that You Alll want & love...me.

[~2p-4.40p Fell asleep. Dreamed.]

I think those dreams were mainly of us talking, me beating on the glass & crying. Finally sliding to the floor but looking up at You...Alll as each slide down to knees with me.

It's hurting You...Alll tooo.

I mean I still don't know why God has allowed all these years of tests. Why we've been separated like this. Why things keep happening. I know You...Alll are angry. [Frustrated & more...] And totally understand that. But. Is it at me? No, it's at the adversary tricks, & only at me for not seeing them. But. Know this my Love/s... sigh. Know...I have gotten a lot of them. Maybe not immediately. God does that. But I get them, but I don't think I'm supposed to..say... why...they are my cross to bare. I blame myself for everything. Even when I couldn't know... from the airport...to now. Some part of my growth journey had to occur & it only happened in the most pain-filled, embarrassing, humiliating, caged experiences of my life. Why I blame myself. Because You Alll are having to go through it, watch it happen, & experience it too. That is my never ending, soul & gut wrenching torment. It brings on the tears, the guilt, the pain. It brings my soul...low. ITS ALL MY FAULT!!!

I have no idea if I will ever deserve...be worthy of... Your...Alll's love. I can only pray to make my errors right from here to eternity. I will. With my last eternal breath. Just as my love for You...Alll is eternal.

I still look at people...thinking... because I feel You...Alll. just like thinking about the baby bear saying come find mama... welll I tooo feel like You Alll are perched up as if in a snipe nest watching me... or maybe that's my Angels... calling Alll Angels ...🎶

Alll I know... it's up to me.

Only I, with God, can make things right.

Yes, I know that I'm doing the depressed sleeping thing again. But sometimes the body needs that quiet too. I actually had some today. But there's something about this place... it just takes the energy right outta me.

I fight it. Hard. It is something that I have to remember every moment of the day.

《The adversary wins when I am not working during business hours. 》

Until I'm out & in an apartment I am giving ground to the adversary.

That makes me growl.

[Just turned on tv & captain marvel on. Grin.]

Oh how does it make me roar!

Between that, & You...Alll ... I should be Captain Marvel, Dark Phoenix, Alice, Wonder Woman ... all in one!!!

Kick ass Tijgeress kat Phoenix.

May we Alll always be Mavericks. ...

Original.

Fight against the grain of "normal."

I want my soul's best friends...

my Mate/s... Love/s...

Forever.

I miss You Alll.

Every moment that passes is a gut punch that I am to blame.

Bowed to my belly.

Tears... silently slide.

God... Your Plans, & Time.

Not mine own.

Sigh.

Never will I ever forget...

True love never dies & true love always waits.

Created, Blessed, Gifted with, priceless treasures. Soul's Mate/s true love.

Thank You God, Jesus for loving me & saving me daily.

Your loving, fallible... daughter,

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. 🌺

👩🤓💡⚓🙏🙇‍♀️☔🌂🔗

⛓⚙🧰🏗🧱⚒🛠⚔⚖🗽⌚🛰🚀

🐯🐾🐐🦉🐢🐛🦋🌱🌺🌹🌻🌷🌳🧶🧵

⚡🌠🔱⚜🐻💝🦌♠️🗝🧩🔆♾🌎🎯🧭 🕯🎶🌺💋 Kat layers...

Su.8.28.2022 7.25pm.est.

Wrote & thought about all day.

Picture search, corrections from diary..&relaxing 12.26am

*pictures from google.

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