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sanctferum · 3 years

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30 Days of Autism Acceptance 2021: Days 13-19

ah shit, lads, I forgot to do this lololol

April 13th: How much preparation and planning do you need before doing new things, or even for familiar things? Do you need to be totally prepared ahead of time or are you more comfortable with being spontaneous/just going for it? Does it vary for you depending on the thing or the day?

Oh I need to know that shit waaaaay in advance. I need my schedule to be flexible but I also need the schedule itself for stuff like appointments and knowing what to do when (i.e., don't start playing an MMO half an hour before you have to leave for an appointment somewhere, but a game I can pause is fine).

April 14th: What do you like about being autistic?

*slaps top of own head* this baby can fit SOOOO much special interest

April 15th: Do you work? If so, what is that like for you? Are you open about being autistic at work? Alternatively, how open are you about being autistic? Do you tell a lot of people? Or just a select few? How do people normally react when you tell them? If you don’t tell people, then why?

I don't have a job, likely for autism-related reasons. Not that I think people discriminate against me because I am autistic, but a lot of the problems I do have with getting a job have to do with autism, like my inability to exaggerate my qualifications. (The other problems are al capitalism, babey. And confidence, I suppose.)

I'm pretty open about being autistic. I used to not be, but honestly, if you're making a friend and you say you're autistic and they say a slur or make some rude remark, do you really want them to be your friend in any case?

April 16th: What did it feel like when you interacted with other autistic people for the first time? What does the autistic community mean to you? How important is it?

Uhh...I don't know how to answer that first question. My two older sisters are also autistic so there's never been a time where I haven't interacted with other autistic folks.

Eh...I dunno how important the community as a whole is to me. But I know there's specific individuals who are my friends who are autistic, that I can talk to about autism-related issues, and that means the world to me.

April 17th: How do you feel about terms like “special needs”?

Well...it's not inherently a bad term, per say? But my personal experience with it is not pretty. I was in the special needs program at school for first to eighth grade, and again from eleventh to twelfth grade. And in the case of elementary and middle school, that was uh. Heavily leveraged against me by the kids who weren't in the special needs program. A lot of my self-loathing issues specifically relate to me wanting to be "normal". Both in the sense of, they crammed all the special needs kids into only a few classes and as such we learned at the pace of the slowest learner in class and those of us who learned more quickly or more advanced resented not being in classes that were more to our level, and in the sense of, maybe if I wasn't in the special needs program, the other kids wouldn't bully me, might even see me as their peer. (Ha! Looking back, that's pretty wishful thinking.) The R-slur and various lesser slurs related to intelligence, as well as the weaponization of the term "special needs" to mean "stupid" or to mean the R-slur, were very common, too.

April 18th: Talk about identity. Is being autistic an important part of your identity? What does being autistic mean to you? Which do you prefer: identity first or person first language and why?

Being autistic is part and parcel of who I am. So yeah, I'd say it's an important aspect of my identity. By that same token, it doesn't need to mean anything in particular to me, it just is. Like. I'm a cis guy. That's a fact. It means very little to me as an inherent statement, it's just a thing about me that is true. Same deal. Autism colors a lot of my behavior and interests, but the simple fact of "I am autistic" is just that, a simple fact.

Don't remember the difference between identity first and person first off the top of my head, and don't care enough to look it up.

April 19th: Do you enjoy music, or do you find it overstimulating? If you do like music, what kind of music do you prefer?

Yes I enjoy music, but only specific kinds of music. Soundtracks, such as for video games, are something I love. I don't care for most of the songs they play on the radio, though. And everyone but me agrees that my sister's singing voice is beautiful, but I find it very grating, which has caused some tension. It also doesn't help that she tends to sing Jewish songs and prayers, and while I am proudly Jewish, I'm not religious and, perhaps due to my experience with religion, religious songs and hymns seem to be something of a trigger of mine. Is trigger the right word there? I'm not sure. It makes me very uncomfortable and I feel like I have to go somewhere I can't hear it, or ask my sister to not sing (which is kinda rude).

But yeah, soundtracks are my life. I'm the Homestuck Sound Test guy for a reason. And I also have a compilation of unreleased Undertale music called the Your Best Companion Soundtrack that I put together. (I should update that with the exclusive songs for the Nintendo Switch and Xbox One versions, huh.) Soundtrack collection and curation, mostly for video game music but also for other special interests with soundtracks like Homestuck or The Adventure Zone, is a huge special interest of mine. My collection currently has 313 gigabytes of music, which is pretty crazy.

#30daysofautismacceptance #2021

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limitedrevolverworks · 6 years

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[>>>]

You always found the word ‘oxymoron’ rather funny for reasons so quaint they shouldn’t warrant an explanation, but never like now has the full brunt of its significance made itself manifest. ‘A commodity that provokes an inconvenience’ definitely fits the bill, but the worst part, the punch that puts any hint of a smile K.O., is the realization that the moron in question is you. You’re the idiot for thinking how stupidly troublesome it is to have a driving license, a car, and your son’s school at barely fifteen minutes from his cram school. But you can’t really help it: now more than ever, you envy the humanoid sardines who have to press against each other every morning in an attempt to reach their destination while hopefully keeping their bone structure from becoming flatter than a paper. It would make things easier, relatively speaking.

You wouldn’t have to sit alone inside such a minuscule, intimate space with the sole company of your serene-looking son and the fresh knowledge that he’s the ringleader of a middle school gang, for example.

It’s been five minutes now. Exactly zero words have left either of your mouths, and at least one of them seems contraried by the fact that the other is curved into the hint of a smile that looks at a time peaceful and absolutely bereft of any guilt. It drives you nuts, to put it bluntly. And not just in a ‘I’m absolutely pissed by your attitude, you impudent son of mine’ sense. There’s plenty of that too, make no mistake, but the fact of the matter is that you honestly, genuinely feel as if you’re about to lose your wits and see them scatter about like light particles that turn normal clothes into a frillier version of themselves.

You can’t make sense of it. Of the truth you’ve been too blind to see. Of your son’s true colors. What really tugs at your heartstrings though, it’s that you weren’t ready. You, who spent your adolescence kicking monster tail by shouting flower names and erupting lasers from your heels. Miss Himawari Sonomura VonVermillion. You’re married to someone who barely fits any of the criteria that define a human being, and you’re having a harder time coming to terms with your apparent failure as a mother.

Ah. Yeah, that must be it. This isn’t a problem you can solve by yelling at the top of your lungs (as much as you feel like doing that) and punching it really, really hard. There’s no stuffy manual detailing the laws and rules that dictate how to properly face this challenge, either. You’re at a loss. No, let’s be fully honest here: you feel like it’s entirely your fault. The kid’s still his father’s son. You just thought you could overwhelm that truth, but you really ended up blinding yourself with a misguided sense of justice. Can’t blame the clouds if they feel like raining every once in a while, right?

It’s not that easy unfortunately, or you wouldn’t be waiting for the red light to turn green with your forehead buried onto the steering wheel. The main problem, paradoxically enough, is that you love your son. Of course you do, dimwit! Despite it all, Kyouya’s still Kyouya, not some terrible monster whose sole desire is to turn people into vegetables. Besides, you already tore that one apart almost two decades ago. Also, if it’s monsters we’re talking about, you already crossed the line by becoming the bride of their chief, so these moral quandaries shouldn’t even be such a big issue for you in the first place. But they are. They are and it hurts, because want it or not, you had expectations that were betrayed, worries that came to fruition, and an inability to realize it until it was too late. If it even is anyway. You don’t know. You may be a qualified lawyer, but in this moment, you feel like the most ignorant person on the face of Earth, and even viler than that. Like, almost as much as your husband. And that’s really damn vile.

Green light. There’s still about fifteen minutes to share together before reaching the cram school, where your beloved Valdios will likely settle the issue with some enthusiastic praises for your son, a bemused shake of his head in your general direction, and infernal teleportation to avoid the unavoidable punch you’ll attempt to throw towards his face. Your hands are sweaty rags tightly wrapped around the steering wheel, and you’re pretty sure that your teeth at this point are more ground dust than solid bone. You’re not exactly in the best condition to hold a delicate conversation, or any kind of conversation for that matter. It should be fine to leave things hanging, then. There’s no use in trying to solve a problem when you haven’t been able to think of a solution, or even to fully grasp the problem itself to begin with. Right? Right. R-i-g-h-t. Ri...ght...

Oh, hell no it ain’t right.

Come on, woman, remember who you are. Those fists of yours have met more chins than they’ve been caressed in their life up until now. The worst hellspawns still fear you, and rightly so. You were---no, you are a flame that burns brighter than the sun it dauntlessly faces. Are you going to back down now that your kid needs you the most, only because your adversary is your own stupid self? Hah, as if! Swallow it down, that venomous lump in your throat, and speak out loudly. You can’t, you won’t let it stifle the depth of your love if it’s the last thing you do.

“Do you have anything to say to your mother, Kyouya?”

“Absolutely nothing, mom!”

Goood at least throw me a bone here, kiddo! You ain’t making it easy for your mother, you know!?

Alright, alright, deep breath and then go for take two. Also watch OUT FOR THAT RED LIGHT... good job, you barely avoided breaking the law at the cost of nearly strangulating yourself and your son with the seatbelts. Sounds like the perfect opportunity to try again.

“R-right. So you have no idea what me and your teacher might have talked about?”

“Mmh, I wonder...?”

Look at him. Tilting his head and smiling that cutely, with his rosy cheeks and hair redder than yours. He would look like such an angel if it weren’t for the fact that he’s blatantly hiding the most devilish of intentions. It’s almost scary how sincere he looks, as if he really believes there’s nothing his mother dearest should be worrying about. ‘Almost’ because he’s still a long ways from the achieving the top in the VanVermillion school of mellifluous nonchalance.

Not for a lack of trying though, looks like.

“Kyouya.” Your voice is a disappointed whisper as you tilt your head to shoot a sideway glance at your son. That and rowdy screaming are the only two tones you feel capable of holding at present, so you really just decided to go with the one with less chances to attract the attention of the other cars.

“Yes, mom?”

“Have you been up to no good?” Such a simple question, and yet it feels like it took all your energies to tear it out of your throat. But you force yourself to do so, and to turn your head to witness your son staring back at you with the same sweet face as ever. His clean, prompt answer takes even more out of you.

“Not at all. In fact, mom, as of late I’ve been performing nothing but good deeds!”

He’s too far gone. There goes the pure and pristine image of your son, floating away from your desperate grasp. Goodbye, old hag... ahahaha...

NOOO! Come back, my precious, fragile flower! Too far! Too late! Your fingers are grasping nothing but the solid emptiness of the steering wheel. Huh? Hey, welcome back to reality, now press that pedal. It’s turned green in a while, already, and the cars behind are growing noisily restless.

“Goo---what’s so good about bullying?!” Calm down, don’t lose your cool! You can still save it, so lower your voice, you former delinquent! Just because you don’t want him to follow in the same footsteps as you doesn’t make you any less of a hypocrite!

“Nothing, of course. That’s why I’ve taken matters into my own hands, so to speak.”

“What, by becoming a bully yourself?”

You have to wonder what’s so funny that’s making him laugh behind the hand he uses to cover his mouth. You swear you can see your bewildered face reflected in his shiny, painted nails, however.

“Is that what Miss Takemoto told you, mom? You grown-ups really like misunderstandings, don’t you? No, I’ve never bullied anybody. I hate people like that, just like you... but, see, bullies right? They usually target loners, even though they’re the loneliest people of all. So I’ve taken away their reason to bully, simple as that!”

The grinding of gears inside your head sounds like rusted metal brushing against sandpaper and is half as efficient in your present state, but you think you’re starting to see some semblance of the greater picture as envisioned by your clearly amused son. At least you hope, because anymore confusion at this point would knock you out for real.

“By... making up a group?“

“Yes, exactly!” Aww, he seems so proud of your understanding. You’re not entirely sure whether the clapping is there to ridicule or praise you, though. “Bullying pretty much means ‘Give me attention!’, so by giving them the sense of cohesiveness and belonging of a group, they don’t have to seek attention anymore, since they’re already giving it to each other. It wasn’t easy at first, but it turns out that being able to lift the teacher’s desk with the auxiliary use of some magical power can be a pretty convincing display to support one’s offer. Isn’t it brilliant, mom?”

“Huuh...” Wonder whose parent’s vocabulary he learned the most from... Sure, the way he puts it does sound a lot less dire than how the teacher put it, to the point where you find yourself subconsciously nodding but... “W-wait, that’s not all I’ve heard. The teacher also said that you guys extort text answers from other students! What’s so magnanimous about that?”

“Oh, that...” Far from seeing him taken aback, it’s his shrug that counters your failed offensive with impressive skill. “Some students find the answer sheets by themselves. The deed has already been done, so me and the others just make sure that everyone else can reap the benefits by politely asking these people to relinquish the goods and spread them among their classmates. Nobody has to suffer low grades like this! It’s... what do they call it... ah, yes! A necessary evil! Adults do much worse than that, so surely you can overlook that much, no?”

Can you? It’s not like you can see anything with clarity right now. Might be because of the hand plastered against your face, or the silhouettes of your husband and son’s faces levitating on the windshield while they chant ‘You can overlook that much? Can’t you? Can’t you~?’ You actually do shoot a glance at your son’s extremely self-satisfied face just to ensure he didn’t actually shoot a minor curse in your general direction - better make a point to interrogate your husband just in case. Last thing you need is to learn he’s been giving your children lessons in the dark arts behind your back - you’ve been adamant about that ‘til this day, but you can bet that the edict will grow even stricter following what must have been the most tiring conversation you’ve had in years. And you’ve had lots of them, really: par of the course when you married a man who cannot quite understand the ethical conundrum involved with turning the postman into a hedhehog-shaped monster because he put a couple more publicity ads in your mailbox than desired.

You glance at the clock on the dashboard: around five minutes and you’ll have reached your destination. Five minutes you could fill with reprimands, perhaps even a slap, or, why not, words of praise for this eloquent brat who took one page too many from his father’s book and haphazardly mingled them with some from your own.

None of that ensues. You merely reach for your son’s head and, without looking him in the eye, brush the hop of his head with slow, immeasurable gentleness.

“Okay then. We’ll talk more about this later. Be sure to behave at the cram school.”

Lest you’d have to receive a phone call from a teacher telling you about your son set everyone straight by beating them up while dressed in a cutesy purple outfit dripping with magical photons.

#A Magical Hell Called Family #wordy seeds

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charlesjening · 5 years

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State of the Profession 2019: We Need to Talk About Accounting’s Big PR Problem

Not sure if anyone’s noticed but the profession is in trouble. You know it’s bad when the most cynical of cynics feels compelled to say yeah, this is kinda actually bad.

Sure, I’ve talked plenty of shit over the years but I’ve also been one of the profession’s biggest cheerleaders, lifting up future CPAs when they’re about to give up on their dreams, supporting ambitious accountants at conferences and lobbying days, even sharing press releases that in the back of my mind I thought were completely stupid but knew deep down had the best of intentions. But now? Now we’re in a really dark time.

I wish I was more into sports, then I could say something relatable like “if the accounting profession were a team, it would be the 1981 [shitty team here]” and Bramwell would commend me for my extensive knowledge of shitty sports teams. Are the Clippers still a joke? The Cleveland Browns? Yeah, I’m terrible at this. Anyway.

Accountants behaving badly

Anyone noticed Bramwell has been writing an “Accountants Behaving Badly” column on the regular for weeks now? WEEKS. Used to be maybe we could scrape one of those together once a month or so, but now every single Monday conference call we have with The Powers That Be, when it comes time for our publisher to ask what Jason is working on for the week, he confidently exclaims “working on Accountants Behaving Badly, should have that done this afternoon!” Well damn.

I pulled up headlines from the last few he’s done, and holy shit. These aren’t just your run-of-the-mill middle-aged accountants embezzling from clients, we’re talking theft, fraud, kiddie porn, even murder. MURDER.

Yorba Linda accountant arrested on suspicion of embezzling $1.8 million from Suzuki of America in Brea

Rensselaer accountant sentenced in child porn case

Phoenix tax preparer sentenced to prison for stealing his clients’ tax refunds

Lansing accountant sentenced to 7 years prison for fraud

Wakefield accountant sentenced to jail, probation for stealing from church

Essex accountant admits fraud against Cats production firm

North Las Vegas murder suspect a UNLV graduate student

EY employee conspires in £76k staff fraud

PwC accountant fired after 1,700 upskirting images

Accountant lied on oath to protect crime gang torturer

I could keep going but we’d be here all day and we still have a lot of ground to cover. You get the point.

I looked back in the archive and it appears it’s worse than I initially suspected. Bramwell has had no shortage of weekly material going all the way back to July, with even more littering the pages of the archive if you go further back than that. What in the hell is going on?

I mean, maybe people are just losing their minds. These are hard times we live in after all. Everyone is all worked into a lather politically and the future seems bleak, and you know, maybe otherwise good, honest accountants just snapped and started stealing and lying and, uh, killing their wives and then sloppily trying to pass it off as suicide.

I want to say these are isolated incidents but damn, in the aggregate, it’s starting to look like accountants around the world have collectively lost their shit.

KPM-God damn they did it again

No discussion about the profession’s PR problem could be had without mentioning the elephant in the room. Not pointing fingers but I just have to say it: KPMG.

Has KPMG had a single positive headline all year? Honestly I have no idea, I’ve been too distracted by all the not positive ones. They’ve had a rough go of it, no doubt. Just when you think their reputation couldn’t get worse (on top of the baseline reputation they’ve always had as the sweaty armpit of the Big 4, that is), something else appears that makes you sigh the sigh of a bitter, alcoholic, old accounting tabloid writer who is sick of this bullshit (I’m projecting here, obvs).

Rather than blockquote the dozens upon dozens of articles we’ve written in the last year or so that simply beat this already dead horse to a pulp, let’s just pull some headlines from the last year, shall we?

SEC Says $50 Million Fine For KPMG Is ‘Significant’ and ‘Appropriate’ For All That Cheating Going On

Survey Finds That Nearly a Third of KPMG Employees Aren’t Surprised by Latest Cheating Scandal

Which KPMG Scandal Is Worse: PCAOB ‘Steal the Exam’ or CPE Training Exam Cheating?

KPMG Australia Partner Pleaded Guilty to Stabbing a Dude with a Corkscrew Outside of a School

Here’s More Proof That KPMG U.K. Totally F*cked Up the Way It Handled Bullying Allegations Against Partner

KPMG Doesn’t Think It Should Have to Pay a $16 Million Fine For Screwing Up BNY Mellon Compliance Reports

Another Day, Another Fine for KPMG

KPMG Just Can’t Stay Out of Trouble

KPMG Mexico Could Be Facing Fine of Up to $1.6 Million For Huge Data Leak Blunder

U.K.’s Audit Regulator Wants to Find Out Exactly Why KPMG Is Such a Hot F*cking Mess

KPMG Appeals One-Year Auditing Suspension In Oman, Loses

Should I keep going? I could keep going. That’s only some of the worst ones going back to March. Of this year. Soooo… seven months. Of course, no discussion of KPMG malfeasance would be complete without including what I think is my favorite headline of the year:

The PCAOB Needs to Just Beat the Sh*t Out of KPMG Already

Alright. So yeah, KPMG has a problem. But bigger than KPMG’s inability to keep its nuts out of the fire is the fact that thanks to the Big 4 oligarchy, every KPMG fuck-up is a fuck-up for the Big 4. The average person doesn’t know nor care that it’s a single firm bogarting all the fuck-ups. All they see when opening up their Wall Street Journal is some accounting firm cheating or failing in their duty to clients or whatever the hell it is KPMG is fucking up this week.

That’s not to say other firms haven’t had their fair share of fuck-ups. Which brings me to my next point.

Our toothless regulator

Those of you who know me know I’ve been an outspoken critic of the PCAOB over the years. At the same time, I can respect some of the work they do in the way I respect about 60% of what is posted in /r/therewasanattempt.

Back when the PCAOB was formed in the early ’00s, I was but a starry-eyed 21-year-old, and let’s just say I had more important shit to care about back then without turning this already long piece into another tangent about Adrienne’s Poor Choices in Life That Lead Her Here. It would be five whole years until my world would come crashing down and send me spinning into the purgatory of accounting, where it seems I’ve been banished to exist for eternity like some drunken, angry ghost. I digress.

Not sure if you guys heard but the PCAOB is failing in its mission as it quickly approaches its 20th birthday. Damn, has it been that long? Am I that old? Ouch.

Francine McKenna writes via MarketWatch:

The PCAOB board is staying out of the public eye in 2019, in violation of bylaws established by the law that created the PCAOB, the Sarbanes-Oxley Act of 2002. The law requires the PCAOB to hold at least one public meeting of its governing board each calendar quarter. However, the PCAOB board has held no public meetings of its governing board since December 20, 2018.

MarketWatch asked the PCAOB to comment on its apparent lack of compliance with its bylaws regarding open board meetings.

A PCAOB spokeswoman told MarketWatch, “Consistent with long-standing practice, the Board holds open meetings to take action on business such as standard-setting or voting on its budget and strategic plan. We expect to hold two open meetings in the coming months to address our 2020 budget and a proposed concept release related to our quality control standards.”

Not only is the PCAOB getting called out by us pundits circling the profession like hungry vultures waiting to pick the last rotten piece of muscle off a rapidly-decaying corpse (no offense, Francine, you know I love you), the normies are starting to pay attention, too.

In September, the Project on Government Oversight wrote a scathing hit piece on the PCAOB titled How an Agency You’ve Never Heard of Is Leaving the Economy at Risk that I absolutely recommend reading in its entirety.

A federal watchdog you’ve probably never heard of is supposed to be protecting your financial security.

It’s supposed to be policing some of the biggest and most powerful firms in American business.

It’s supposed to reduce the risk that, as a result of fraud, error, or corporate incompetence, your financial future goes poof.

Indirectly, it’s supposed to help safeguard any savings you’ve stashed in the stock market, any stake you have in a pension or retirement fund, and maybe even your paycheck and employment benefits.

It’s supposed to help avert man-made disasters like the financial crisis and mortgage-meltdown of a decade ago; the accounting scandals that destroyed a long list of corporations such as Enron and WorldCom almost two decades ago; and the savings and loan crisis that consumed mountains of taxpayer money in the 1980s and ‘90s—the kind of catastrophes that can cripple your community, crater the economy, or collapse the financial system.

But in key respects it’s been doing a feeble job.

That goes on for, well, let’s just say it’s a long read. Read it. All that to say, everyone’s getting called out now. Remember the good old days when mainly all we had were low blows for Grant Thornton and McGladrey cracks? Yeah, that time is over.

Meanwhile, in Canada

So we’ve established that the profession has a PR problem and that’s all well and good, but at this point, I’m not entirely sure even Don Draper could turn this dead horse into dog food.

On September 11, I wrote an article about CPA Canada’s new advertising campaign, the goal of which I believe was to make CPAs “cool” although who the hell knows with these things sometimes. Yeah, I guess that was it.

In its ongoing effort to smash the green eyeshade stereotype and convince the public that CPAs do more than just annoy their clients and vague tax-like things civvies will never understand, CPA Canada hired advertising agency DentsuBos to develop a new campaign with the lofty goal “to portray CPAs in a modern light.”

The “new face” campaign comes on the heels of last year’s “boring CPA” campaign, also developed with DentsuBos, which ran a cool $5 million. Personally I prefer the AICPA campaign in which a small business owner literally gets his ass beat until a CPA appears to rescue him but whatever.

Just nine days later, Canadians across their fine country opened up their Financial Post to read all about how CPA Canada absolutely fucked up the Common Final Examination, which for my fellow ignorant Yanks who might be wondering, is their version of the CPA exam essentially. Abject failure, slapped all over the national news. Embarrassing.

So what now?

This article is already way too long and since no one is around to edit the shit out of me I could probably make it even longer, but let’s not turn this beating into a massacre, K? Point has been made.

So I have to ask: What is the solution? For all this talk of public trust and ethics, the profession is wobbling unsteadily at a pretty crucial crossroads and in desperate need of a come-to-Jesus moment. All it’s gonna take is one more big scandal to topple the whole thing, and at this rate, we should see that, I dunno, next week sometime?

I dunno about y’all but I’m getting tired of getting all worked up over the potential for some big blow-up only to be disappointed when literally nothing happens. To be frank, I’ve had doom and gloom blue balls since 2008 still waiting for the economy to fully bottom out and that never happened, so let’s just say I’m not too hopeful even Enron II will have much of an impact at this point when not if it happens. Sure, there will be a few salacious headlines and maybe we’ll get another toothless agency out of it but will anything really change? From the depths of my cold black heart I’m inclined to say nah.

I guess all we can do is wait, see, and hope middle-aged bookkeepers would stop robbing their employers blind.

The post State of the Profession 2019: We Need to Talk About Accounting’s Big PR Problem appeared first on Going Concern.

republished from Going Concern

#Technology #Finance

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