#honestly my bodys paying for it now 😐

[roses-and-elixir]

.

#its getting bad again #ive had nightmares nearly everyday the past week #and they seem so real like everything is blurring into reality in the mornings #this stress has just been too much im feeling it impact my physical health too #ive been so ill in January like one after the other and caught sm viruses etc from work #honestly my bodys paying for it now 😐 #i told my mum one of my dreams rly briefly when i was driving back home at 8pm and she got shook #and that was just a fraction 😭

[the-unconquered-queen]

And working off of my previous post, something I’ve kept thinking about for a couple of weeks…

The gang hasn’t even had that hard of a year.

So their friend went missing, potentially presumed dead. For the most part, their devotion ran out after a few weeks. After that, moving on was their goal. And yes, grief can hurt like a bitch, but don’t forget that it’s not like they had known MC for that long. So how is you grieving a friend of a few weeks/months (continuity error in the book) over the period of a year sooo much worse than said friend being captured for that same time?

Yeah, MC was asleep, so in fairness, their trauma mostly wouldn’t stem from the capture itself (which is all the party thinks about when dismissing their experiences), but there’s still accounting for the fallout of the b1 storyline that—unlike the others—they’re only NOW getting to process, the fact that the world passed them by for a year and now they’re trying to catch up, the knowledge that their body was repeatedly violated for a year and they don’t even know the details so their mind can only run with the worst case scenarios, and to top it all off, that they can’t even take a minute to properly let themselves feel because they’re already on another world-saving quest (against their captor, no less) and while they think their friends would be understanding, they don’t actually show anything more than shallow concern and seem to go out of their way to make MC feel even more left out than they already do.

So yeah, how hard did the party have it? Cause honestly, unless they were an LI that MC romanced, they probably didn’t even suffer that much. And I’m not saying platonic bonds are in any way inferior to romantic bonds, but unless you’re also paying for every single social quest for the party, chances are your MC didn’t grow anywhere near as close to the non-romanced party members as they did with their LI(s).

The only party member that seems to have had it tough regardless is Nia, who has more than enough to deal with after literally getting possessed and stabbed + her new transformations. But at least she’s not actively putting MC’s experiences down, even though she’s not particularly concerned either. But anyway, it’s mostly Mal and Imtura actively putting those experiences down; Nia and Tyril have just been passively ignoring them so far (and as a Tyril romancer, I’m satisfied with the way he kept searching for a way to get to MC, which is more than I can say as a Mal romancer). Though Nia immediately comforting Imtura instead of even just considering MC’s perspective after Imtura sided with Mal doesn’t have her totally in the clear either.

So yeah, miss me with

“You don’t [know it was a hard year], though. Not in the same way. You slept through it. 😐”

“The rest of us had to live it. And not all of us lived that well. 😢”

It wasn’t bad enough to warrant how they’re acting toward MC. And I don’t care that this dialogue was just dependent on not having a certain skill; they’re still thinking and (more importantly) showing it, and based on the tags that day, a hell of a lot of people got it, so it wasn’t some obscure screw-up path. So before this gets misconstrued, this isn’t me saying the rest of the party’s had it easy, this is me saying I haven’t seen a good enough reason for them to act like they won gold in the Pain Olympics while MC just slept through the qualifiers.

#long post #was debating posting these but then I saw the ss and got pissed all over again so here #the hardness of their year hinges on how much they cared about MC but if they really cared about MC they wouldn’t act like they have

[pub-lius]

thoughts while watching the john adams series as my will to tolerate men decreases pt 2: imdepemdemce

“manure is an art. and i consider myself. an accomplished artist.” you what, john???

charles abuse 1

the gore in this will never compare to that of turn, but then again, idk if anything will. turn really said “you didn’t think the human body could look like that? fr?? that sucks, now you know not to be so fucking dumb lol”

imma fucking make myself cry thinking of mama look sharp from 1776. that song fucks me up every time bro

YAAAS RADICALIZE HIM SLAAAYYY VIVE LA RÉVOLUTION

“men need to think that they have made their own decisions” no bc let’s unpack that. let’s process this. in this essay i will-

“i think everyone not in favor of moderation or compromise should be castrated 🥰” TELL THEM BENNY BOOTS THE HOUSE

AAA THERES JEFFERSON LOOK AT THAT LITTLE PISS MAN STANDING BY HIMSELF LITTLE PISS BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺 LOOK AT HIM ABOUT TO SHIT HIMSELF THAT VIRGINIA HASNT BEEN TALKED ABOUT YET 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 SOMEONE GET HIM AN DIAPER FAST

ugh dickinson, my little meow meow 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

the way i talk about the founding fathers is deplorable i should stop. doesn’t mean i will.

OMG SJSBWKWN OMG I FORGOT WASHINGTON WAS THERE HOLY FUCK JUMPSCARE WARNING PLS THANK YOU

im not even paying attention to the debate, ive heard it so many times. but honestly we need to talk about how shitty adams was at debating. like he’s so mad and for what?? you sound 12.

we also need to address that new hampshire was an og from the beginning but no everyone talks about massachusetts and virginia 🙄🙄🙄🙄

omg ben franklin talking about his brother. i never caught that detail before. thats so cool tho, bc his brother was like his mentor in both journalism and pissing off the british governmentn

washington is so slay in this ngl. he fucks tbh but put him in a british uniform. do it. no balls do it. bc thats what he wore sweetie

“not generosity, mr adams, duty.” OMG YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS??? embarrassing

bro his first line and jefferson’s already complaining. grow up, shit boy

ouchie

bro these kids are gonna be so traumatized, and just for that, im adding a charles abuse point charles abuse 2

every time adams stands up, part of me dies

*slow turn towards washington* washington: fuckfuckfuckfuckfUCKFUCKFUCK-

charles abuse 3

yo the actor who played hancock really put his whole hanussy into the reading of the king’s proclamation. there’s so much emotion in it and he still stays professional. its just 🤌

MY NAME IS RICHARD HENRY LEE VIRGINIA IS MY HOME MY NAME IS RICHARD HENRY LEE VIRGINIA IS MY HOOOOOME

the parallel of charles playing with toy cannons to him making musketballs 🤌🤌🤌

HENRY KNOX HENRY KNOX HENRY KNOX HENRY KNOX-

charles abuse 4

“we call that one liberty. and that one- stuck in the myre-… INDEPENDENCE *laughs motherfuckerly*”

adams: so uh… this is pretty important righ- jefferson: i want to sink great britain 😐 adams: u- uh, well… i didnt ask-

“now who do you think will join us in this folly? 🤨” “*without hesitation* france.” yeah pretty much

me every time rutledge speaks: something lgbtq just happened to me

“*takes off wig* when demosthenes- *puts wig back on* whEN DEMOSTHENES-“ no bc wtf was that. like why did you do that

okay im only halfway through but i already have more that enough for this post so ✌️

#john adams #john adams series #historical drama #i want to put jefferson in my pocket to see if he turns into crumbs over time