#hommade | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr was the first site to host the blog for President Barack Obama in 2011.

welovethesedogs · 8 months

Text

italian grandmas don't want you to know that you can make pretty good gnocchi from leftover mashed potatoes

#it's like 85% as good as fully hommade from scratch traditional stuff #and like ten thousand times better than the dry stuff from the package

3 notes · View notes

youcaneven · 11 months

Text

Who has good resources on how to crochet? This is for hot boy he/it slutty reasons.

#i wanna wear a hommade crochet outfit to the club i saw other folks with smth like it not too long ago and i yearn #rwn.txt

3 notes · View notes

rnaeborowski · 1 year

Text

my beans are onion and garlic. kidney beans and black beans, a can of chopped tomatoes and some taco seasoning so it's very simple but considering how bad i'm doing it's a miracle i'm able to cook at all :')

#it will be so nice with vegetarian homemade food from scratch #well the tortilla isnt #and im using premade taco sauce for the enchilada sauce #BUT the beans are hommade 😤#txt

2 notes · View notes

hornyfallenangel · 4 months

Note

You watch Riverdale? What's It like? All I know is Archie fucked the old teacher Ms Grundy, Jughead is a Canon Ace and Betty and Veronica kissed at some point.

I love the Archie Comics but never did check out the Riverdale show.

Aside from the minor changes it's just like the comics

#Angel answers #Riverdale #There definately isn't an episode where a cult leader tries to escape on a hommade rocketship

1 note · View note

minetowalkonglass · 4 months

Text

the three kids in 8x04? yeah they could have been a throuple if it wasn't for the you know. untimely werewolf-demise

#8x04 #spn sometimes dabbles in the found footage/hommade movie subgenre of horror and i really enjoy it tbh #like it's not really horror it's this & ghostfacers #but it's refreshing!!

1 note · View note

softsolesstuff · 9 months

Video

youtube

Reflexology and Foot Reading Science | Research on Feet Soles therapy | ...

#youtube #foot feetsoles #footgirl #feet-soles-show #girl show feet #beauteful feet #hommade feet soles

1 note · View note

penultimatestalematewithdeath · 1 year

Text

Best part of hosting a party? Getting to snack on the chips and fresh dip before anyone else arrives <3

#okay yeah hanging out with friends is ALSO cool #but like. fresh hommade guac y’all #preparing for our funky queer little superbowl party #in which we ignore the football and watch the ads

1 note · View note

pedge-page · 3 months

Text

Joel Miller x F!Reader - Piss Kink #4

if you're feeling bold, can be read with more Piss kink #1, #2, #3, or alone.

Summary: Joel entices you home with a uniquely fun hommade toy that he's been edging himself with.

Warnings: pisskink! , pill-filled condom, sending nudes ish, nipple play, sub!Joel returns!, male masturbation, mirror masturbation, assisted masturbation, overstimulation, degrading lanauge towards Joel, this one is all about Joel

18+ ONLY

- - - -

Work fucking sucks when you’re horny as shit.

While you rot away at a desk 5 days a week, from 9-5 with limited days off, you get a bit envious of Joel’s flexible schedule where he can pick his own contracts, his own projects, and work his own hours at his own fee.

Must be nice to be a solid brick wall of meat.

And he doesn’t make it any better. Having your phone buzz off at your desk literally every 5 seconds with pictures of his scruffy head waking up at 9:57am, his homemade sausage links and pancakes, his feet propped up on the coffee table while sipping away your coffee in your mug that you forgot because you were running late!

You: Fuck off, lazy ass

Joel: come home and I’ll fuck your ass all day :P

You: do you have any real plans today other than being a little shit?

There’s 15 minutes of silence from his end. Enough that you’re pretty far into a project you couldn’t get off the ground, until there’s a new chime vibrating from your phone.

Joel: video attachment

You bite your lips, hovering over the file icon. This could be just another “Joel enjoying his day off” …

or a “Joel enjoying his day off.”

Not risking it, you run to the bathroom and lock yourself in the stall.

The video plays, and you can make out Joel’s big fat blurry fingers blocking half the camera as he angles the phone on the sink vanity, facing himself in the mirror focus sense. He backs away, and unzips his jeans. His cock is only half hard, but that doesn’t deter him from pumping it lazily in his hand, digging in the drawer off camera looking for something.

It’s not until he’s ripping off a condom with his teeth that you’re very intrigued.

“Got a present for ya when you come home,” he smirks into the camera.

He rolls the plastic over his much harder cock now, pulling it tight all the way to the base, stretching it over his thick length.

Joel’s not one to use condoms, so this is—new.

He’s breathing hard, chest rising and falling as he pumps his dick with short jerks. His thumb teases over the clear covered tip. there’s some sweet little noises you know you’re missing because the mic doesn’t pick it up, but by the way his brows furrow, his lips part with eyes closed, you know he’s feeling dirty and good.

He lets out a strong groan, and the condom starts inflating quickly as he relives his urine. “FUck—fuck , shit, it’s filling up fast.”

You hold in a gasp because fuck yeah he’s right. The condom expands rapidly as yellow liquid quickly pools in the empty nub at the top before over coming the underside.

“Mmm—ah—ah-ahh-yeahfuck baby—its’ warm. Warm like you,” he grunts, smiling. He tilts his head back and moans, thrusting his hips a bit more like he wants to fuck it.

He breathes shallowly when it’s over. The condom now tightly packed with warm golden piss around his aching length like a thick balloon, not much larger than a short zucchini but still impressively bulging.

He jerks over himself a little bit, watching the liquid bounce with such inertia it takes a moment to even out. It should be disgusting, really, watching him play with himself with his own piss like a pocket pussy, were it not for the tight clench of your thighs and throb between your legs.

“Reminds me of ya tummy when I filled ya full of it the other day.”

He starts to pull his jeans back up, careful to tuck the full package into his crock area before zipping it up cautiously. Two little hops and everything falls into place. He groans as he manages the button over his waist.

He pats his new bulge before winking into the camera and the video ends.

You don’t even realize you were biting your finger nails while sitting on the toilet seat in the stall. Your skirt bunches up over your legs as you spread them. Fuck, you can’t touch yourself at work!

Just as you’re about to write an extremely lengthly curse off to Joel, another image attachment comes in:

Joel lying on the couch with the camera facing down towards his feet, the evident bulge still packed tight in his head with his girth hand gripping at it through his jeans.

Joel: Warm n tight, just like your sweet little cunt :)

Another video comes in, and there’s barely any intuition in you left to ignore it as you’re hitting play so quickly.

He’s positioned the phone in front of him again at the couch, folding laundry causally with his legs spread wide. The bulge in his pants, however, is much bigger. Each uncomfortable shift only elicits a whimper from him, grinding into his palm to adjust the position but only turning him on more. He leans back and unbuttons the pants. The zipper practically falls away on its own to give room to the massive piss filled condom, shaped like a droopy sack, it’s been desperately trying to hold together.

He sighs in relief, jiggling the balloon. It’s now the length of a fat cucumber, sagging to the cushion from the weight.

“Shit. This is a fuckin’ strong ass condom, baby. Feels like I’m bout to burst everywhere.”

He continues to smack it, jerk it, play with it like a silicon boob and not like it’s his own urine filling a condom and drawing his poor dick, still hard as a rock and an angry shade of red infused with the yellow tint of the sloshing liquid. His leg bounces, both of you hypnotized at the way the latex ripple with each wave.

“Can’t wait for you to come home and see how big it’s gonna get in your hand.” He cups his balls underneath while fisting his warm and wet pocket pussy. It jiggles obscenely in his hand, his hips thrusting into it until his tummy tense and he stills. You can just barely see the little air bubble at the top get smaller as he relieves himself more. His eyes roll back, feeling the warmth surround his meat like living inside your cunt.

The video ends, and a second image is waiting for you:

Joel standing with his top belt button undone but the zipper struggling to stay up, holding his fat bulge that now has taken over to drooping down his thighs.

Joel: Fucking Christ baby, you see how fucking tight this is?

You don’t open the last video attachment, as you’re already packing your computer away and telling your manager you’re not feeling well, zipping to your car and speeding home.

Joel’s cock is in a constant state of pain and pleasure all day. For one, his piss is keeping everything so fucking warm, unlike anything he’s felt regularly wrapped around his cock, stuffed in his pants. But on the other hand, his dick has been trapped inside a warm wet fluid substance for over two hours non stop hard, and he’s ready to cum geysers.

He considers whether waiting all day for you to come home for his “present” is going to be worth it when he hears keys being entered into the front entrance.

He’s standing right there the moment you open the door. He can tell you rushed with the state of your wrinkled shirt half untucked, messy hair and even more evident—the ferocious look in your eyes.

You wrap your arms around him and hug him close. He lets out a tiny sigh, feeling your middle press against his crotch tightly. To your delight, it’s still there, all packed tight and warm, crammed so stiffly it could burst with any more pressure. Your hand roughly grabs at the squishy bulge in his jeans and Joel stutters a gasp, then a little moan with his eyes closed in bliss. You can just barely hear the quiet rush of liquid filling into the condom even more.

“Did you just piss some more?” You ask, your hand rubbings soothing circles over the bulge.

He nods, lips parted sinfully with dazed eyes now that you’re here and in charge.

“You’re a naughty boy, sending that shit at work. Making me come home early to take care of this,” you whisper sensually in your honey silk voice that has his veins shivering from excitement and trouble.

“Nnmgg—mmmm, I wanted you here. And you want its too,” he snickers.

You tug the collar of his shirt and pull him in for a harsh kiss. He groans into your month, pulling you closer and grinding himself into your secure body like a horny teen. His body melts in to your touch, more needy to have you here than you were to have him.

Your tongue holds his hostage while you busy your fingers and unbutton his jeans. The piss filled condom spills out of there like it was desperate to breathe.

Joel lets out a pathetic sigh of relief. You continue to palm him while he pants into your mouth, all the pent of pressure finally having room to escape, but still trapping his thick cock. It’s fucking heavy, the weight of his hot urine filling the bag over and over again, latex stretched so tight. “It’s.. s-so heavy—bout to burst,” he rasps, eyes shut into your shoulder as you hold it for him.

You smirk against his lips, continuing your torture in your hand while he shivers.

You reach below the moist cucumber sack and roll his balls in your hand, tugging gently to get him to follow you.

He obeys beautifully. Leaping after you as you massage him, trailing so close that he’s wafting your hair product, twitching in your palm.

“Sit,” you command, pointing to the floor in the bedroom, directly in front of your floor length mirror.

He sinks to the group, staring at his reflection. So pretty and small beneath you. You slide right behind him, hands slowly tracing along his inner thighs, making him involuntarily man spread.

You grasp the urine condom and start tugging, jerking it in your hand as you pinch his nipples under his shirt with your free hand.

“You look like a fucking pervert and a whore.”

He whimpers and melts into your touch. Tense in his cock and chest but relaxed everywhere else. Despite the mass of the man in front of you, practically blocking your view of his beautiful twitching body, you perch over his arm to watch.

His eyes keep drifting back, pleasure consuming him after edging all day. But he keeps snapping forward to look at how you’re tearing him apart.

“Only fucking disgusting boys do this type of shit, Joel. Is that what you are?”

He nods vigorously, hips cantering forward.

The sloshing of liquid grows louder as you pump over the slimy sack faster. His shirt rides up, his soft belly flexing with each painful breath he forces going in and out.

“Can you fill this up some more? While I’l jerking you off? Don’t cum yet. Want more of your foul liquid to fill this thing. It’s so fucking big, Joel. see how much we can pack into here before it explodes!” You laugh.

He grits his teeth, and you still your movement. With a few assisted tugs wrapped around your own hand, he’s moaning out pornographically, and you can see through the latex the extra stream of gold forced out of the tip of his dick and expanding the hot condom. It’s big enough now that you need Joel to help wrap his other hand around it. The two of you jacking him off together.

“Such a fucking good boy, Miller. My piss hungry boy.”

If you weren’t so fucking turned on by your whimpering mess of a boyfriend you’d be cringing so hard. But Joel just somehow always manages to bring that side out of you.

“Arrgghhhhh--aahhh—oh—ohh—ohf—oh fuck! Fuck it baby, yeah—YEAH—unfff I’m—I’m gonna—“ he’s blabbering incoherently, nodding and shaking his head, overstimulated and yet so close to getting what his whole body is begging for. The condom bounces along as the two of you fall out of rhythm, smashing against his pelvis and balls, his tip stretching across the clear seal before being drowned in a vacuum of piss.

You accidentally pinch the condom as you pull it close to him again. Coupled with being filled to its limit, the entire thing snaps in a giant explosion of the piss damn breaking, ursting all over Joel’s torso and thighs and the floor.

The impact of it all has his hips thrusting forward, his jaw dropping open in a surprised gasp when he cums into the free air—ropes of it shooting so far onto the mirror. You don’t stop, despite the wet mess all over him and tattered condom shred still clinging between your digits, jerking his wet cock to completion and tilting his hips up so that his creamy spend shoots on his pouty lower lip.

He licks away the salty tang of his orgasm, breathing down from his high. You both observe him in the mirror: clothes drenched from chest to knee, splatters of of his spend adorning him and the mirror like overly-excited icing on a tres-leches soaked cake.

He’s shaking from the aftershock. So overly whipped and leaning further back against you for support. You hold his cock, now finally able to breathe, as you kiss along his jaw and neck. “You’re so gross, I fucking love it,” you tease, nipping at his ear.

He smiles with you, sighing up to the ceiling with blissful sedation.

He stays pliant in your arms, head resting against your breasts. It’s quiet, minus the love sucks you’re dressing all over his face with your lipstick.

He opens his eyes. “How about a hug after such a loooooong day at work, baby?”

You stop kissing him and lean away, shaking your head.

“No? Are you sure? I think you need it,” he hums, a devious look in his eyes as he starts to turn on you.

“Don’t you fucking dare!” You warn. You immediately scramble to your feet and try to run out the door, but Joel’s caught up in no time, bear hugging you from behind.

“Awwwww, isn’t this soooo nice, baby?”

“Gross, gross, gross!” You laugh, wiggling unsuccessfully as you feel his urine seeping from his clothes to your beautiful white blouse and ironed skirt. You shiver at the warm, disgusting feeling of it all.

“Fucking nasty perverted piss boy.”

He giggles into your hair as you admin defeat, swaying with him in a tight embrace.

“With my fucking nasty perverted piss girl.”

Permanent taglist

- - - -

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrs-oharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee

#pedro pascal smut #joel miller fan fiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #last of us fanfiction #last of us smut #joel miller fic #pisskink!joel #piss kink #the last of us smut #tlou smut #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #last of us fic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic

284 notes · View notes

blue-devil-of-the-lord · 5 days

Note

What kind of desert do you think Kurt would like? Is there any German deserts in particular he would like?

This is an interesting questions, thank you. So...

We don't really know a lot of what he likes in canon, however I seem to remember to have read that he is fond of chocolate and biscuits, which means I'm going from there.

I'd like to think, that Kurt is something we call a "Naschkatze" where I'm from. Don't know if it's used in other parts as well, but it's quite common from where I'm from. It's basically someone who loves to nibble on sweets as often as they can. Literally translate to "snacking cat" or "nibbeling cat"

He's got a sweet tooth, you could say. So, going from there:

He loves pastry. Doesn't matter if it's cake or cookies or cupakes, he loves it. If it got chocolate? He's in heaven. So, it's good that he's from Germany because we've got some really good cakes, if I may say so:

Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte: This is one of the most stereotypical cakes that you can find when looking up "German Cakes" but it's really good. It traditionally consists of several layers of chocolate sponge cake, cherries, cherry liqueur, whipped cream and chocolate rasps. It named after the "Schwarzwald" which is a region in Baden-Wüttenberg, the "neighbour" of Bavaria. It's really tasty and I'd like to think that he would love that.

Baumkuchen: Literellay means "tree cake", originating from it's looks. It consists of several layers of dough when baking it, making it look like the age rings of a tree. It's art to explain, but it's really good, one of my favourites actually.

Kalter Hund: Literally "Cold dog", also referred to as "Kalte Schnauze" or "Kalter Platt". I think this would be one of his all-time favourites because it not only consists of chocolate but also of biscuits. It is made from layers of chocolate cookies and a cream of chocolate and coconut oil. There are different variations of it, which can differ in the ingredients used. It's a little harder to make, at least in my experience, but it's really worth it.

Pudding: Kurt is in love with this stuff, especially chocolate, however only when it's hommade. The incredibly overly sweet stuff from the stores does not taste good in his opinion, so he refuses to eat it. He may have a sweet tooth but not that sweet.

Spekulatius: Another typical german sweet, that's an alltime favourite among Germans. It's usually just sold during Christmas time, due to the different spices that are used for it.

Mousse au Chocolat: Of course he's not restricted to German desserts only. It's a french dessert and since France is a neighbour of Germany it's not that far-feched that he loved it growing up. It's fluffy, it's chocolate... What more could he ask for?

Grießbrei mit Roter Grütze: "Semolina porridge with red fruit jelly" It's not really a dessert but it's quite famous and I personally know many many Germans who love it, me included.

Germknödel mit Vanillesoße: Germknödel are a traditional specialty of Austrian and Bavarian cuisine and are also popular in other regions of the Alpine countries. They are steamed yeast dumplings filled with a plum jam filling (Zwetschgenröster). Although the classic version is filled with plum jam, there are also variations of yeast dumplings with other fillings such as poppy seeds, apricots or curd cheese. Personally, I have always loved the fruit filling. Top it with vanilla sauce and poppy seed sugar and it's perfect.

Pictures in order

It's a bit much, but there are so many good desserts. In general I think he loves anything with chocolate in it, as long as it's real chocolate and not some fake stuff from the industries. He prefers usually darker chocolate but especially in cake she doesn't mind so much. He also likes a bit more heavy desserts such as Germknödel or Grießbrei, especially since he's from Bavaria where such desserts are more common, from my experience. You are welcome to correct me though.

Hope this was helpful :)

#kurt wagner #nightcrawler #x men #headcanons #x men 97 #xmen #nightcrawler x reader #maybe useful for fanfics who knows?#x men comics #marvel #kurt wagner headcanons #nightcrawler headcanons #x men headcanons

88 notes · View notes

meandtheyeehaws · 1 year

Note

ok so i'm sorry i just need your opinion. on this.. idea i had. its been floating around in my head. Casey Jr called Usagi "Tio Yuichi" back when he was still alive, [i imagine Yuichi died when CJ was like.. seven ish? maybe? idk] and i cant stop imaging Yuichi and CJ having an uncle-nephew type bond. like- Close! but not brotherly. but not close enough to be fatherly. just.. thats his Tio.

i also cant stop thinking about the idea of yuichi making dango. and always saying some shit like "Dude, i brought some of my dango, i proise, its gonna make you go DAAAANG, YO!!" because hes stupid like that. anyways, i imagine he says this both in the Bad! future and in the 'present' and that's how CJ and yuichi bond. like- Yuichi always said that shit when CJ was a little kid, when he could get his hands on the ingredients to make dango, and CJ would always yell the little syaing along with him, then yuichi would ruffle his hair and the pair would giggle, and make dango together.

flashforward to the 'present', where yuichi just showed up at the lair [i imagine this is after yuichi and the mad dogz are friends, blahblah, yuichi know about CJ being from the future n shii, and yuichi brings over some dango n shit and its like

Yuichi: It's hommade dango! and its sure to make you go-

CJ and Yuichi: Dang, yo!

Cj had joined in on habit from when he was little, and yuichi looks at him a little confused. "huh?" Cj chuckles sheepishly, and rubs the back of his neck. "Sorry it- something i remember from the past. furture. when i was a kid." Yuichi looks at him for a second, the words proccessing. Then, he gives CJ a wide grin, and ruffles his hair. "You're a lil weird kid, i like you."

sorry for my semi rant

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE LIL SCENARIO!!! TIO YUICHI!!!

#asks

262 notes · View notes

passaggiocravatte · 3 months

Text

BIG NEWS…NEW LINED TIE READY TO SHIP, totally HOMmade, available in our store online www.passaggiocravatte.com

#passaggiocravatte #edwardgreen #giannicerutti #vintage #bespoke #handmade #johnlobb #elegance #carmina #fattoamano

19 notes · View notes

depravity-disposed · 2 months

Text

since it’s someone’s birthday today, i can’t get this specific little scenario out of my head…

The fav being surpised when his smol little gf comes up to him with a giant ass platter of hommade doughnuts, just the way he likes them. “Happy birthday!!!!”

“Oh!” He replies earnestly, “Sweetheart, you shouldn’t have!”

“Oh hush! It’s your birthday! Take a couple! I made them all for you after all!”

He takes another as she sets the platter down, Beside him, His boyfriend lets out an amusement chuckle under his smug smirk.

He raises an eye brow. “What’s that look for?”

“Oh nothin~” He plays it off, “I’m just fine~”

Okay…?

“Well, do you want one?”

He shakes his head. “I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want me to help you finish that plate man~”

“Nope!” She quickly chimes in, making the fav jump, “it’s All for you! after all, it is your birthday, and you deserve a little bit of… pampering…~”

The pink tinge on her face is noticeable, and pieces click together easily.

“… This is a feeding thing, isn’t it?”

“…. Maybe…~?”

His Bf snickers. “She’s pulled the same thing on my birthday twice now, its your turn big guy~”

“ah, well, i probably should’ve expected this…~” He hums in amusement, already accepting the challenge to come, “I’m just surprised to didn’t warn me about this earlier..”

“Well that would’ve ruined your birthday gift dude~!”

#t///lex #you know who you are #happy birthday pamp <3

8 notes · View notes

jvpiterstears · 2 years

Text