#holster's main goal in life is to be the second coming of adam sandler but is occasionally foiled by accidentally saying worthwhile things

[parvuls]

friends cast au: in which the O6 are actors in a wildly popular sitcom and to prevent Trouble, their contracts include a no romance clause.

it's pretty much common knowledge on the set that lardo and shitty have toyed with that line before without really crossing it (?), but what people don't know is that for years bitty's been harboring a persistent crush on jack; one of his best friends, his co-worker, the man he shared an apartment with during the first year of the show.

what is even less well known is jack's crush on bitty. in fact, it is so unknown that jack doesn't even know about it. he just chalks up the fact that he had no desire to date since being casted to the fact that he practically lives on set, is so dedicated to his career, and the no romance clause forbids him from dating anyone he meets at work.

but after six successful seasons the series finale is fast approaching, and with it the inevitable end of an era. everybody on hollywood says they'll keep in touch, but bitty knows full well how infrequently they keep that word. now that their contract is reaching its conclusion, will bitty make a move? will jack figure out his own feelings? or will they both move on to other projects and become just another person they used to be friends with?

#omgcp #omgcheckplease #zimbits #the most au thing about this is jack zimmermann pursuing acting #but honestly it could have? happened? maybe? if he spent more time with alicia than bob #bitty came out during the 3rd season and made national headlines #a la NPH (although his character isn't a player) #jack has given exactly four (4) solo interviews in his entire career and his fame skyrocketed because he's considered ~mysterious #lardo has been talking about misogyny as the sole female main actress since literally her first day on set #holster's main goal in life is to be the second coming of adam sandler but is occasionally foiled by accidentally saying worthwhile things #revealing that he does in fact have depth #ransom is an oscar bound actor and no one totally understands why he's wasting his time on a sitcom #there's like legit 90% his first project after the show ends is going to be some low budget indie film with no real plot #that's going to win him every award #and shitty is shitty. he's not a good actor he's just here to have a good time and secretly finish his law degree on the side #text #prompts #don't mind me!!!!!