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#hmmm apologies for Venting On Main im just feeling this intensely before i turn in
carnivalcarriondiscarded
·
10 months
Text
every night i wake up and say "this is the night i respond to my friends' messages" and every morning i say "i swear i'll do it when i wake up"
#repeat repeat repeat until you get stuck on that cycle of guilt and forgetfulness and guilt and stress and guilt and Oops Forgot Again and-
#see this is why i'm really bad at making/keeping friends!!!
#bc i meet someone and then they text me and then i Never Reply
#bc i wait too long dithering on how to answer or i forget to open it and then its Been too Long
#biting myself so so hard
#mentally. not physically. im not into that. ....probably
#hmmm apologies for Venting On Main im just feeling this intensely before i turn in
#yet another day of telling myself ill do something important and another day of not doing it
#absolutely unprompted
#unfortunately i also tend to do this with asks/replies and it kills me inside every time
#not as much as accidentally ghosting people i care about but Wowzah
#i simply cannot escape this mental block when it comes to anything
#i still have to reply to my grandpa's responding father's day text. its been a week.
#wailing howling clawing my way into the cold dark earth etc
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