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ianxfalcon · 6 years

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I analyze all of Dr Polaris’ costumes

Dr Polaris is a freaking nerd and has a history of immensely stupid looking costumes. But be honest, if you were in close enough proximity to Dr Polaris to see his costume, you’d either be running for your fucking life or you would be, you know, dead. You sure as hell wouldn’t be laughing. Who needs dignity and fashion sense when he can drop a fucking building on your head or drown an entire continent if he’s feeling testy?

Let’s jump into it, shall we?

Original costume:

A candidate for the worst costume ever, so obviously I adore it. It looks like it was made in two hours, and it probably was. Take special note of the striped hot pants and that weird circle thing on his stomach. For some reason, he only used this costume in one issue. Can you imagine? 7/10 because it’s adorable.

Classic costume:

It’s very blue (and sometimes purple, it changes from issue to issue), which naturally makes that red magnet symbol on his chest just pop. Very eye-catching (some would even say eye-soring, but that’s mean), and the helmet adds a great sense of je ne sais quoi. Seeing his face takes away some of the mystery, but obviously he doesn’t care about that. 6/10 because blue.

Classic costume 2.0:

It’s even bluer. But it lacks the symbol, which takes it down a notch. 5/10

Post-Crisis costume:

This costume manages to balance between badass and intensely silly depending on if you look above or below the waist. The most mysterious thing is probably the golden crotch chain that doesn’t have any obvious purpose. But note how the costume is designed to show off abs that are really impressive for a middle-aged doctor who probably eats and sleeps, like, once a week. That mask, however, is probably the best mask of anything ever. It really offers opportunities to give people the death glare (since his glare is literally the only thing they can see), which he takes full advantage off. 8/10

DCAU costume:

It’s the classic costume but shinier. This version of Polaris was a fabulous bitch, by the way, and you should definitely treat yourself to him when you have the time. 8/10

B:TBATB costume:

This is the costume we deserve, Look at how fucking cool it is. He looks like a beast. Too bad this version was a wuss who got defeated by fucking Batman single-handedly. Comic Polaris could eat him for breakfast, you know, if he was a cannibal. 10/10

JLU comic costume:

Takes everything great about the post-Crisis costume and amps it like whoa. Best costume, best hair, best badass walk, best cape. Just overall fucking best, and despite it all he was only in one issue! 11/10

DC Nation costume:

He actually looks badass. Truly a costume worthy of a king. Too bad we didn’t get to see what it looks like below the waist. 9/10

Rebirth costume:

Oh, so edgy. This costume is the perfect complement to the post-Crisis one, in that it looks fine below the waist, but when you get to the shoulder spikes and the unnecessarily tall helmet with the mouth hole you die a little on the inside. 5/10

#dr polaris #neal emerson #dc comics #long post #doctor polaris #supervillain fashion choices

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