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nadziejastar · 5 years

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How do you think the experiments would have impacted Lea? Obviously he wasn't as traumatized as Isa, but no one gets kidnapped and used as a lab rat and comes out unscathed

Roxas: Saïx called her “broken.”

Axel: Hmm… Well, if it cheers you up, I’m probably a lot more broken than her.

Ooh, I love this question. I get to use one of my favorite Axel quotes. Yeah, I definitely agree with you. He’d still be very messed up even if he hadn’t lost his heart. He has a LOT of anger and pain underneath the surface. He lost everything in his life. I’m really disappointed that we never got to see his entire backstory. He’s such an interesting character. I wanted to see how he went form an innocent frisbee playing kid to a remorseless assassin. What did he think the Organization was after when they kidnapped him? Did he think they stole his heart as part of the experiment? I wanted to know how he felt about having his heart stolen and then being asked to build KH to try and get it back…by the people who stole it. That must have been confusing. And did he know how the apprentices lost their hearts, too?

I think that he and Saix plotted to take over the Organization for revenge as well for as their freedom. In the novel, this is what is going through Axel’s mind when he first convinces the Riku Replica to join him.

Given the right memories, the Replica could mimic the powers of the original. Which meant that if he were implanted with somebody else’s memories, he would, hypothetically, gain other powers. Somebody’s—or maybe even a Nobody’s. He had one particular Nobody in mind. All the members of the Organization were still influenced by the memories of their human lives.

This sounds like a subplot that never materialized. I wonder who the Nobody was. Braig or Xemnas? It wasn’t Zexion, because Axel says he’s as good a place to start as any. He was testing the Replica on Zexion. I’m not exactly sure what experiments were done to Axel, but I would guess they are the reason why he can control fire. And there were a lot of Emblem Heartless being manufactured in that basement.

He probably was forced to fight at the very least, as I suspect Isa was. The black cloaks are meant to prevent someone from getting swallowed by darkness. Lea and Isa were wearing them when they were recompleted. This indicates they had things done to them that risked them getting swallowed by darkness.

The Heartless appear in groups, and are multiplying rapidly. I’ve provided them both living and nonliving samples. They’ve responded only to the living. They seem to multiply after absorbing something from the living creatures. Their prey vanishes without a trace.

Not only is he traumatized because of what he personally experienced, but probably also from witnessing what happened to others as well.

Yeah, I know. Our plans. That part won’t change.

This is what Axel is thinking in the novel when talking to Saix. Even though they weren’t really getting along at that point, he said that their plans wont change. He wasn’t doing it for just for Saix. He wanted to take over the Organization as much as Saix did. He only becomes less motivated when he starts growing a heart and enters an existential crisis.

Hearing his old name, Axel glanced up at Saix watching him intently. He remembered being human. Memories surged inside him, crowding the space in his chest. For Nobodies, memory had all the weight of a heart.

I remember. I won’t forget.

I think he’s talking about both his memories of Isa, and his memories of the experiments that took everything away from him. His normal life, his heart, his best friend’s personality, his ability to experience happiness and love. He has a really dark and twisted side to his personality. Which I love. It makes total sense. I think the upside-down tear marks were something he came up with himself. Not Saix. Gang members get the tear-shaped tattoos as a permanent reminder that they’ve killed someone or they’ve had a friend killed and they want revenge. And Axel’s are upside-down. As an assassin, the message being sent is, “Ain’t no tears being shed for you, bitch”. But deep down…I think there are.

“The dirty work doesn’t bother me”, Axel went on. “You just make for the top.”

There was nothing false in that, and he looked at Saix in the eye as he said it.

Since the heart is the seat of your emotions and interpersonal relationships, I think that Axel and Saix probably got along decently during their time in the Organization. They were both single-mindedly focused on revenge. They were less like close friends and more like gang brothers. Loyal, but not close. Axel didn’t have an intimate relationship with Saix. They didn’t have fun together, or laugh. And this didn’t seem to bother Axel too much until he met Roxas.

Zexion had never trusted Axel one bit. In fact, he had never trusted anyone besides the original members of the Organization–those he had once known in the laboratory. But he found two especially untrustworthy: Saix, who had somehow wormed his way into Lord Xemnas’s confidence, and his close acquaintance Axel.

Zexion was just a kid when everything happened. I doubt he had anything to do with the experiments personally.He didn’t seem to have any clue who Axel and Saix were in the novel. Nor did he know Saix was Xehanort’d. He trusted them the least out of anyone, because he could tell how much they hated the apprentices. So if this is how much pleasure he took in eliminating Zexion, I can only wonder what he was imagining doing to Xemnas or Braig.

His title, Flurry of Dancing Flames, is a reference to a dance the god Shiva performed that almost caused the end of the universe because he was so angry after his wife killed herself. Another weapon, Ifrit, is a death spirit drawn to the life-force or blood of a murdered victim seeking revenge on the murderer. He might not have known the whole story on Isa, but as soon as they woke up after turning into Nobodies, he obviously would have noticed that he had a giant scar on his face. I’m sure he was beyond pissed when he saw that. I wish I could see how furious he’d be if he knew the entire truth.

Sora: What are you— What ARE you people?!

Axel: Hm… Don’t know. I wonder about that myself.

I really wonder how he would have acted around Even in DDD. I think they kept him and Dilan away from Lea for a reason. He absolutely revels in Vexen’s death. To Axel, Vexen is a symbol of all that was taken away from him. In the novels, he feels kinda bad destroying Dusks because they are fellow Nobodies. Yet he never, ever shows remorse for taking out Vexen or Zexion. He detests the Organization. But at the same time, he recognizes that he isn’t naturally like this. That he’s warped. Broken. This isn’t the person he wanted to be. He’s changed into someone else because of everything he’s been through. He remembers being different. I think that’s why he never really hates Saix, either. He assumes he’s just warped, like he is.

Axel: Most kids spend summer vacation just goofing off with their friends. They save the homework till the end and then help each other finish it.

Roxas: That sounds fun, I guess.

Axel: Yeah. I hadn’t really thought about it much since becoming a Nobody. So how’d you spend the day?

Axel: Hey, I’m not about to tell you ALL my dark secrets. Got it memorized? I bet you keep a thing or two from me.

Axel admits he hadn’t thought of his normal life too much since becoming a Nobody. He’s had other things on his mind, obviously. He jokes about having dark secrets after sleeping the entire day away. I think the experiments are another reason why he says that memories are just baggage that have never done him any good.

He won’t allow anyone to get too close to him. He never really confides in anyone. Ever. Not even Roxas. He keeps an emotional distance with everyone at all times. Even when Axel says dark things, like he’ll never get to experience love, Roxas doesn’t pick up on anything wrong or ask him about it. He is too naive to tell that he’s got lots of baggage. Not his fault, but it is what it is. Not that Axel would want to talk about it anyways, but still… he always puts on a smile to hide his pain. Always. Even his closest friends had no idea how much he was suffering. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Even after he begins to grow a heart, he still kidnaps Kairi. He even does the iconic hand reach of darkness. He feels bad about this later, but he’s so lonely and miserable at that point, he doesn’t care about morality. Morals didn’t exist in the Organization. You didn’t survive that way. In the novel, Axel and Kairi have this exchange which I absolutely loved.

Kairi looked up at him. “Aren’t you…a bad guy?”

“I’m not,” Axel replied, completely serious. “But not really a good guy, either.”

“This doggy likes you, though,” she pointed out.

Axel dropped his gaze, and indeed, Pluto was right there with his tail whipping back and forth.

“Just because dogs like someone doesn’t mean they’re a good person, y’know. Got it memorized?”

I swear, Pluto LOVES Axel in the novels. I almost think they must have met before or something. I also love it because Axel’s main weapon, Eternal Flames, is actually shaped like the symbol for Aleister Crowley’s Chaos magic.

Chaos is neither good nor evil, but both and neither at once. It cannot be controlled; not even by itself. It promotes freedom of choice, thought, and action above all else, even if this leads the world into a primal state of vice and survival of the fittest. Chaos refuses any limitations placed on it. I love how his weapons are so different from Saix’s. Ironically Saix’s are named after benevolent female goddesses and such. Axel’s are the ones who are much darker. You’ve got the lance of Mars, the Roman god of war.

Then there’s the Fuma Shuriken with the Recusant’s Sigil right in the middle. This is the Mystery Gear weapon that’s supposed to represent his true personality. A recusant is someone who refuses to submit to authority. If anyone is a recusant, it is Axel. He’d wear that “X” proudly. Fuma Shuriken was a weapon said to be wielded by the leader of the Fuma clan. The Fuma Clan were a group of outlaw ninjas, especially skilled at night raids and other sorts of sneaky surprise attacks. They were extremely strong, extremely deadly, and had a reputation for pretty much having no morals whatsoever. They would slash enemies in the back, set entire villages on fire, and resort to all sorts of violent and non-violent trickery. They were also said to be experts at the use of fire and smoke – including the smoke-shield practice. In a folk legend, the leader is often depicted as an inhuman figure: a supposedly part-oni, monstrous giant with inverted eyes.

I loved how awkward his conversation with Ienzo was in DDD when he is looking for Isa. It’s even funnier when you hear that scene in Japanese because he sounded so impatient, like, “yeah yeah, shut up already with your long explanations, no one cares. Where’s Isa so I can leave this shithole already?” I’m so mad we didn’t get to see him confront the apprentices. I wanted to see him get mad. Something similar to when Roxas smashed up all of the computers. THAT level of rage. He needed to heal from his past, too. And the first step would be to face it head on and be angry.

I don’t think Axel truly got to heal from his pain in the story, either. He and Isa needed to heal each other. Axel immediately went to being perfectly okay after DDD. But I definitely don’t think he would be. He still needed closure. He needed to get angry at Saix to truly grieve the loss of Isa. And he needed to get angry at Xion when she tried to destroy herself. For himself. To acknowledge his own pain that he always minimizes or tries to hide. It felt like the writers forgot all about Axel’s pain and darkness in KH3.

Goofy: Gawrsh, Lea sure hurried back to Radiant Garden

At the end of DDD, after he saw that Isa had become a vessel, Goofy says Lea hurried back to Radiant Garden. I was so sure that he was going to confront the apprentices and finally learn what happened with Isa. He saw how vessels are made after rescuing Sora. He knew they were made by breaking the person’s soul and having Xehanort’s heart forcibly put into them. He knew Saix had yellow eyes and pointy ears. God, it blew my mind that he never seemed to suspect that Isa might have had the same thing done to him. Never in a million years was I expecting to learn in KH3 that Lea and Isa were “apprentices” all along, and Isa just chose to stay with them because he wanted to get stronger. Um, yeah right.

The longer you know someone, the less you need to speak in clear terms. Everything gets across with a wink and a nudge, a little reading between the lines…When it comes to what befell our late comrades at Castle Oblivion, ambiguity suits me just fine. But the Keyblade master and Roxas come out and say every little thing that comes to mind. Maybe that’s human, or maybe they’re just special.

But in addition to anger, I think he forgot what it felt like to have positive feelings at all. That’s why Roxas was so important to him. He made him remember what being whole felt like. And he also looked like Ventus, so he brought back all sorts of memories from when he was young. There was a time, long ago, when he was just like Roxas.

Talking to Roxas and Xion always brings back memories of my human life, back when I was a kid. It’s a weird sensation. I ought to be able to share all this with Saïx, but I just don’t feel like it anymore. It’s strange, but I’m content with just missing what’s gone. I’m not the one who changed. You did.

From this you can tell that he didn’t always mind talking to Saix. But after spending time with Roxas and Xion, he starts to grow a heart, and then he remembers how genuine friendship felt. He’s sick of living like this. Like a criminal. He wants to eat ice cream and laugh about stupid stuff…And he starts missing Isa. And he can’t stand to be around Saix anymore, since hes nothing like Isa. The chasm between past and present is just too great.

What were you really after, Lea? We joined the Organization at the same time, and formulated our plan. At this point, it’s just an idle fantasy. Everything changed. You, and me.

Saix says that Axel has changed. He used to be a lot more cold and brutal. Saix says he’s changed as well. I think it’s because he has Isa’s memories, so he can remember what Isa was like. And even he knows that he isn’t like Isa. I thought that was interesting. That he had that level of self-awareness. It must have been confusing to him, too. How different he used to be.

Roxas doesn’t trust me after the whole Xion incident, but I can’t tell him the truth yet. So I keep lying. It’s no big deal when you’re a Nobody. There’s no guilt, no feeling at all. So why does it still sting, just a little, when I lie to him? All my dealings with Roxas give me this bizarre illusion of humanity.

Axel isn’t used to feeling guilt when he lies. He forgot what that felt like, so it surprises him when he feels it. But he can’t imagine it’s anything more than an illusion…

“You know, I’ve been thinking about something Naminé said. Roxas, are you really sure that you don’t have a heart? Is it possible that we ALL have one? You, me, her… Or is that just wishful thinking?”

…Just wishful thinking. It’s too scary to hope for anything more.

Riku Replica was just a tool, but I can’t just use Xion. No, I was wrong to have just used Riku Replica in the first place. How is a man-made puppet any less worthy than a Nobody that was never meant to exist at all? They’re both ambiguous. Tenuous at best.

Even when he does start to feel emotion again, he is confronted with overwhelming despair. He doesn’t even view himself as human. When he’s revived in DDD, he says hes “human again”. As a Nobody he sees himself as sub-human. On the same level as a Replica. When he disappears, he tells Roxas they’ll meet again in the next life. But he really didn’t believe he had one. I don’t think this outlook is just the result of losing his heart. I think it all started with losing his faith in humanity after the experiments were done to him. He sees Roxas as pure and innocent; something he no longer is. To Axel, Roxas is more worthy of humanity than he is. Honestly, he gets even more cynical after he starts to grow a heart again. That’s when he can feel the brunt of his trauma with full force, unlike before.

He had never apologized to anyone before. Or thanked anyone, either. Without a heart, there was never any need. If he had no heart, did it mean anything to say he was lonely, or sorry, or grateful? The words couldn’t be heartfelt, when there was no heart to feel them. But even that word, painful—what could it possibly mean for someone with no heart?

This whole passage from the novel shows how he views himself. He’s ashamed of himself. He knows it’s abnormal to lack emotion. Humans aren’t supposed to be like that. He’s broken. He invalidates his own feelings because he thinks he’s not worthy of having them in his condition.

Axel stretched his neck and munched on his ice cream.

“You know, I don’t mind disappearing.”

Namine’s breath caught.

Riku stared at him.

“Roxas is gone. When we bring Kairi here, Namine will be gone, too. Same for me,” he said, as if he were discussing the weather, and then punctuated his comment with another bite of sea-salt ice cream.

“We don’t disappear…We’re only reborn,” Namine murmured, perhaps to herself.

“I‘m not like you and Roxas,” Axel said flatly, his hand holding his ice pop stick in midair.

“But—But you…” She looked down, clenching her fists.

“It’s because I don’t have a heart,” Axel went on. “I don’t want to disappear, but I’m not upset or sad about it.”

Namine tried to say something and failed.

Nobodies aren’t supposed to exist. Nobodies don’t have hearts, so they can’t feel anything.

I really love how much extra characterization the novels give. Despite all evidence to the contrary, he says he can’t feel anything. Or ironically, maybe he just wishes he didn’t. Maybe he forgot that having a heart can make you feel more profound pain, just as it can make you feel fulfilled. And he mistakes that emptiness for heartlessness.

Then someone else spoke behind him. ”I’ve been waiting for you Axel.”

“Yeah, I figured you’d show up.” His smirk turned nastier as he turned to see Saix. He didn’t take his eyes off the other man as he spoke to the girl in the cage. “Listen, Kairi! Trust me. I’m going to get you out!”

Behind him the portal closed.

“What are you saying…? Vile traitor! The great Claymore took shape at Saix’s back. Axel didn’t waste a second grabbing his chakrams. But his body was reluctant somehow.

I don’t want to disappear…But still, it wouldn’t be so bad if I did. Not here.

What does he even have left? Roxas forgot about him and disappeared. Isa forgot about him a long time ago (he thinks). And now he’s trying to kill him. If he wants to live, he might have to try and kill Isa now. He said he wanted to find hope—the hope that Sora and Riku have. But now? He thinks it wouldn’t be so bad to disappear. He puts on a “nasty smirk” when Saix comes. Just like when he disappeared with Sora, he still put on a smile to hide his pain. Like, wow. That is SO sad. It’s why I the LOVE the fact that his Keyblade is Phoenix-themed. The glorious rebirth from the ashes of death. Both for him and Isa. Yeah, I think the experiments had a devastating effect on Lea that the story didn’t provide any closure to at all.

#anti-kh3 #kh axel #kh lea #kh meta #kh org #damn i really love lea #kingdom hearts #kh

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