#him and his future bf still have the same joking chemistry even back before they got together!

[nanasarea]

Park Jisung as your idol bf

Genre: fluff

Pairing: jisung x idol!reader

Requested

Word count:1757 (dear lord, the longest in the idol bf series damn...) 

a/n: this is more of a jisung as your bf in general, not so much the idol aspect sorry. Also yes, i ended up writing about jisung having a baby, sue me, I’m in jisung hours now! also do i even need to say it’s not proofread at this point?

Haechan /  Yuta / Mark / Jeno / Jaemin / Chenle / Renjun / Jaehyun

you were in the same dance class when you were younger

so you were friends way before either of your debuts

like when you knew each other when he was an smrookie

and of course, both of you being talented dancers

you were both training under companies at a rather young age

and it isn’t easy being a trainee regardless of your age

but because you were both still in school

and so young

you knew you should stick together

let’s say you had chemistry homework

but you also had vocal lessons

i’m not saying he would help you

because he wouldn’t

but he would be there to motivate you 

and study his own school work 

so you weren’t alone

it’s safe to say you were each other’s motivation when it came to school

he would also insist on his mom picking you up from school and driving you to the company when your mom couldn’t

same would go reversed

not that either of your moms minded

they found it adorable

and they shipped you both anyway so

that means him and his family coming over for dinner 

and you and yours going to theirs for dinner

and your moms would document all of your childhood memories

they would bond over it

since you didn’t have time to make any friends in school, 

you both valued your friendship a lot

he ended up debuting before you

and you teased him a lot

until he “taught” you how to ride a hoverboard

and you ended up falling in the first 4 seconds

then he would tease you

and you’d now understand how hard his dances really were

you met most of his members when they were smrookies

but you didn’t know renjun and chenle that well

so whenever you could, 

you would hang out with each other

and become very close

which is why they were all so supportive when you ran into their dorms and yelled that you were debuting 

you end up having a little celebration

when you actually did debut, 

they were so hyped

especially jisung

he streamed your mv so many times

he knew every detail of every scene in the mv

which was adorable

the fans knew you were childhood friends so they absolutely loved your interactions

which meant your company/companies being like 

WE COULD MAKE MONEY FROM THAT

so they make sure you have a collab stage 

like really early in your debut

and it was kinda awkward

but because you knew each other beforehand

you felt completely fine

at this point, your moms were betting on when you’d start dating

to which you would both just blush and tell them to stop

you end up going on so many variety shows together

mainly dance specials

and everyone finds you too adorable

like everyone ships it

but they’re kinda lowkey about it because they don’t want to make you uncomfortable 

not the case of his members tho

or yours

you can’t tell me jaemin’s hiatus wasn’t just him laying in bed, resting and planning your wedding

you can’t

taeyong ends up asking him why he hasn’t asked you out yet

he just blushes

it wasn’t until you were both a bit older

and you were at an award ceremony

where everyone was complimenting you

like your dress, makeup, hair, etc

that he realized he liked you

seeing you like that and realizing he needs to stop looking at you as his little childhood friend

and start looking at you as an adult

or somewhat of an adult

he can never look at you as an adult

because he would always have the image of you

with 6 empty chocolate milks around you

and a gummy worm hanging from your mouth

as you tried your best to color the coloring book correctly

but hey, you were always going to have the imagine of him

hanging from monkey bars

after he finished his 5th scoop of ice cream 

and laughing because he overheard someone say a fart joke

ANYWAY

he starts seeing you as an adult

kinda

and he gets slightly jealous when everyone compliments you

so after that, he goes to taeyong and jaehyun

and asks for dating advice

jaehyun just yells 

“wooooo! you should know my usual boba order by now, right, lee?”

These fuckers bet on how long it would take for jisung to realize his feelings 

and jaehyun would regrets only asking for a free boba when he won

but he’s way too happy about winning to care

it ends with half of 127 and half of dreamies giving advice, 

the other halves teasing

and wayv cooing on the phone as they were in china at the time

it takes him like 5 months till he confesses

he’s a nervous baby let him be

and when he does get the courage, 

he takes you to an amusement park

you don’t go on any of the rides

because he’s scared

but you do play the games and eat food

you even watch the fireworks

which is when he finally holds your hand for the first time

you did a lot of skinship before

like when you were friends

but it wasn’t like this 

it was cute

he was so nervous

your palms were both sweaty from nervousness

but neither of you cared

you were just happy to enjoy the moment

 that got cheesy

he even walked you to your dorm 

like to right in front of your door

which is when he hesitantly gave you a kiss on the cheek 

but you wanted a real kiss so you gave him a proper kiss

and he ended up almost tripping on his way to the elevator

where he smiled to himself

and tried to calm himself down

so the members wouldn’t see him like this

but they did

they teased him

and just yelled with him

“our baby had his first kiss!” -jaemin

“life is going way too fast! weren’t you like 3 years old yesterday?!”- jeno

“how come he’s 2 years younger and already getting more action than me?!” -renjun

the others find out 

and tease him

mostly they just congratulate him tho

“wooo! our baby is becoming a man!” -taeyong

“doyoung, hold me, i’m emotional!” -johnny 

“when’s the wedding?” -taeil

“wedding? i always cry at weddings...” -jungwoo

“no weddings! yet!” -kun

“yeah! he’s not getting married before me!” -jaehyun

they might have gone a bit overboard

but can you blame them 

it’s their baby we’re talking abt

they still see him as the little toddler from when he was on mickey mouse club

also you end up not telling your parents right away

and they keep match making

so you end up being like

“Mom, we’re already dating, you can stop”

cue both of your moms get excited

like they’re already talking about being the best grandmas

and having the cutest grandchildren

even tho you’ve only been together for 2 months

something tells me he’d be the type to want to have matching everything

phone cases

(probably anna and kristoff ones)

then profile pictures

jewelry

clothing

anything and everything

he’d find it so cute

speaking of matching profile pics

the fans would realize what was going on 

when you would match your pfps

so your company/companies were like

yes, they’re dating, no one is surprised...anyway 127 comeback 

your dating announcement is like super chill

mainly because everyone was waiting for it 

also i feel like he’d always be playing with your hair 

and fixing it

like all the time

a single hair out of place?

we can’t have that!

his hands are in your hair already

would text you for advice while filming chenji’s this and that

and would always make something for you too

“chenle’s turned out more aesthetic but mine is made with love, so mine is better my default.” 

also it wouldn’t matter if you’re older than him, the same age, younger than him

doesn’t matter

would want to hear you call him oppa

but immediately get shy after

also he’s an aquarius

so if you end up getting really random texts during the day

like during your schedules

don’t be surprised

like he’s already maknae on top

so he will rebel to like some of the things you say

“jisung! we need to get back to filming in 3 minutes!”

“but weeee!” -jisung going down the slide for the 5th time 

cries when you joke about leaving him there

speaking of crying, 

we all know he’s emotional

and cries easily

so he just runs to you whenever he wants to cry

and just placed his head on your shoulder

to hide his facial expression

but it’s okay

you’ve already seen everything from the random snaps you get every day

he might not know how to comfort you at first

but he will learn

and he’s pretty mature for his age 

so he would take comforting you very seriously

he’s a really good listener 

so he would love to just hear you vent to him

it would kinda boost his ego a bit too

like he’s the one who you’re venting to

yknow what i mean?

but also he protects you very well

you get scared of a spider 

he goes all manly mode 

and gets rid of it for you

doesn’t like to admit it, 

but he thinks about you a lot

and your future

like once you two grow out of your idol lives 

and into a more adult life

where you get married

and have kids

kids who tease their uncles (aka nct members)

because THE maknae on top was their teacher after all

speaking of weddings

his older brother got married

and obviously you were his date

and everyone kept looking at you two

asking when it was your turn

your mom said “hopefully soon”

“mom, we don’t have time, we have busy schedules”

“but one day...”

time jump to when the news breaks about your engagement 

and everyone is crying

they watched you both grow up and now you’re getting married??

what???

the announcement was everywhere

also you don’t announce anything about a child

one day, you just both post a picture of your daughter

with a caption like

“she’s so cute, i knew my genes were good.”

or something like that

and everyone goes wild

nation’s babies having a baby?

legend says chenle’s screaming caused 2 earthquakes that day

to sum it up: nation’s babies turned nation’s it couple because jisung is the best boyfriend you could ever have asked for 

.....i might have gone way more invested than i thought i was going to. Do i regret it tho? hell no. Am i emotional now because I pictured adult Jisung with a baby? hell yes.

tag list: @soleilchannie​

#nct #nct dream #nct fluff #park jisung #nct dream fluff #park jisung fluff #nct dream x reader #nct x reader #park jisung x reader #nct dream x gender neutral reader #nct x gender neutral reader #park jisung x gender neutral reader #park jisung scenario #park jisung imagine #nct scenario #nct imagine #nct au #nct dream scenario #idol au #nct dream imagine #nct dream au

[tanginae]

Modern!Tropang Nerds Headcannons, Part I

this ended up longer than it should be... also, yes i know it’s weird ‘cuz it’s in English but trust me, i realized that mistake too late and i apologize

anyway, it’s under the cut because i got  little carried away 

BASILIO:

His eyes are black, but theyre anything but boring: his gaze can pull even the toughest of people in, either fascinating them or scaring them; and Isagani's probably written a verse or two about them after he sees how gorgeous they are (Basilio probs thought it was weird, but he still found it flattering nonetheless). Actually very expressive, you just have to know how to look. Has permanent eyebags (from late-night study sessions) and long eyelashes framing them (he gets it from his momma). They may be deep, dark, and mysterious, but the way his eyes light up when he laughs, getting all crinkly and stuff is just… beautiful.

HE WEARS GLASSES. FIGHT ME ON THIS.  

His nose isn't too flat, just enough to hold up his glasses so it doesn't slide

His bottom lip and top lip share the same thickness, and are plump enough to make one wonder how kissing them would feel like. Also, he'd probably have the habit of biting off the skin when it gets chapped (dammit basilio get some lip balm)

His usual, stoic face looks otherwise to other people; he gets really surprised when they tell him he scares them. He often gets told he looks like he's going to slice open the next person who bumps into him. He's confused, most of the time, because "im literally not mad, guys?? What??" He also gets told he looks hot. He doesn't know how to react to that

If he looked hot wearing his normal face, he's pretty fucking cute when he's joking around, smiling and laughing. He looks all boyish, easygoing, and mischievous, a far cry from what people see when they first meet him

He's never going to admit this, but he doesn't have to because it shows: he loves dressing up real good. He won't spend too much on clothes, but it's just enough so that he looks like he stepped out of a magazine or something

He looks especially good in hoodies, probably because he rarely ever wears them

His blood is 75% coffee

Loves horror and gore movies only because he gets to point out its scientific flaws, they're practically a weird mix of reviewing and comedy to him

He probably keeps an old picture of him, Crispin, & Sisa for motivation, he looks at it whenever he feels taxed by the shit he's going through

He isn't religious or superstitious, though being raised in the province means he knows a considerable amount of folk tales and urban legends

Science Nerd

He's actually lowkey talkative and loves scientific discourse, get him started on it and he won't be able to stop. Probably loves biology and chemistry

Surprises people by his encyclopedic knowledge of obscure and morbid topics such as the best weapons to kill someone quickly, the most venomous substances know to man, etc. Isagani digs this. He's like a fountain of knowledge for when he needs something scientifically accurate for his writings

Has the patience of a saint

Hates fights and arguments; only a handful of things ever piss him off and it's when a) people use his past against him (the only people who can do this are Simoun and Isagani, and there is no way in hell Isagani's going to do that to him) and b) when people hurt/talk shit about the people he loves and cares for

Has ridiculous big brother instincts; which means he's very protective over his friends and close peers (even more so when they're younger than him)

Probably good at reading people; can detect whether they like him or not

He's that one student who starts assignments and projects weeks early

Never procrastinates

The type to obsess over something (a particularly difficult concept, a lengthy and complicated lesson, etc) until he knows it like the back of his hand

Nervous ticks: it's hard to tell when he's nervous since he's cool as a cucumber, but you'll know it when he fusses over stuff and people a lot more than he usually does

Has ridiculously steady hands that probably never tremble

Probably plays Amateur Surgeon for shits and giggles. He probably also gets four stars on every level, too

Great at handling money; really thrifty and frugal

Lowkey makabayan

Tends to show his affection through the little things; like getting them the food they like, sticky notes with sweet nothings on them, Jollibee burgers with the said sticky notes, stuff like that

He would make sure anyone he genuinely cares about never feels alone or lonely

He takes a little while to get past the initial awkwardness at the beginning of a relationship (any type of relationship, tbh), but when he does he's lowkey clingy as shit. He's going to fuss over them to no end until the other reminds him he has to take care of himself too

Probably gets detached as a defense mechanism when he feels as if people are about to walk out of his life

Highkey independent

He deserves all that is good and pure in this world

ISAGANI

Tall as fuck and bulky as shit, just enough muscle to make my panties drop

Probably has no abs. he's pretty soft and hard at the same time

And because he's bigger than most people, his hugs are The Best™

His eyes are probably a dark brown, framed by perpetual eyebags and rich lashes. Highly expressive, you can always tell what he's feeling just by looking at his eyes. It practically lights up whenever he laughs, smiles, talks about something he loves, that kinda stuff

HE WEARS GLASSES because of all the reading and writing he's doing

His lower lip is thicker than his upper lip, making him look like he's perpetually pouting. He always, always smiles with his teeth showing, and it's pretty much enough to charm the shit out of anyone

HALA TANGINa ANG POGI NIYA

He has chubby cheeks (because I'm assuming he DOES have a little chub), but that only softens his otherwise harsh features

Really nice and likable to everyone he meets, but will literally verbally whoop people's asses when the need arises

Has a low tolerance for bullshit, you know he's pissed when he's dead set on roasting the other person until they're nothing but a pile of ash

He's pretty impulsive, sometimes acting without thinking of the bigger picture (or thinking, in general)

His hands almost always have pencil lead  and/or ink stains

Probably owns a fountain pen. That dweeb

Owns a journal where he writes down his writings, but the said writings still end up on loose pieces of paper, café tissues, hell, even his own hand

He keeps his school notes poem-free, but they're anything but immaculate--his handwriting is probably messy and scrawl-y, especially when he's writing down things in a rush

He's only sociable when he needs to be. Otherwise, he's really quiet, preferring to observe people rather than talk to them

He indulges himself in coffee shops (he hates Starbucks, though); he's that one person you see actually reading and writing and/or studying there for hours and hours on end

He can and he will lose days of sleep over his assigned readings

He won't stop until he's finished everything and/or until someone tells him to stop and take a nap or something

He would most likely be a debate team member

He recognizes the oppression of minorities and will actively fight the said oppression; dreams of equality for everyone

Nothing annoys him more than people who claim to be against oppression but end up creating some form of oppression themselves (kinda like those feminists who are, in reality, just misandrists; those kinda things)

Legitimately wants to make his country a better place, and every time he feels exhausted in all aspects he just thinks of the future of his country, the one he's actively working for, and he finds the will to fight and continue

He will literally die for this country when he needs to

Highkey loves the sea and always, always feels at home there

He's a huge beach person

He is definitely the jealous type. However, he never manifests his jealousy in the form of violence, he just cries and/or sulks somewhere

Will willingly lower his pride and apologize even if it's the other person's fault; he almost always wins his arguments but when it comes to his special someone, he would gladly lose bless his soul

Definitely a blusher and would get nervous as fuck over meeting/talking to the person that he liked

He's the type to stumble over his words and sentences whenever he talks about something that he likes; it's a joy to talk to him about the things he enjoys because he's practically vibrating with happiness. It's adorable and contagious

He would be the type to take his bf/gf out on a beach date. If it were in the day he'd organize a little picnic, if it were during the night he'd probably just show them the stars and hold their hand and tell them random little stories he's never told anyone before. He'd make them laugh and it'd be the most disgustingly sweet thing ever

(help I just died writing that)

He's also the type to just… stare at his special someone when they're sleeping, reading, or doing something mundane because he thinks they’re just so damn beautiful and he's lucky to have them

He's also the type to tell them they're beautiful when they least expect it

He can be blinded by his own optimism, and when he's disappointed, it just crushes him

When he stands for or against something, there's no shaking it. His principles are as tough as stone

He's brave, never failing to do what he thinks is right. He's pretty reckless, though

part ii 

#el nolibusterismo #basilio #isagani #yes holy shit i just about keeled over when i was writing Isagani's #i love that bitch so much it hurts #also basilio strikes me as someone who looks outwardly serious but it's really the exact opposite #and yeah it's open for discourse i need fic material #this was for a fic im planning to write so that's definitely something to wait for #mongol no. 2 #slightly serious #slightly not

[tumblunni]

OH MY GOSH

I’m doing a reread of the older books that MarkReads did, cos he released his reviews in ebook form after his first site’s hosting went down and we lost the original posts of them.

Its really cool cos he includes an entrie second review of everything that he does years later with all this hindsight and stuff, commenting on the series as a whole and how hilarious unprepared he was in the original review. As well as all sorts of other bonus features and footnote stuff of cool!

And he even edited out any predjudiced or uncomfortable jokes that he’d made back when he was less experienced as an activist for LGBT rights and mental health and stuff, like originally the review about the dursleys in harry potter was framed as a psychologist’s report about how craaaayzy they are, and now its a detective’s report on how criminal they are. Cos seriously its “just a joke” and all but it kinda has unfortunate implications to imply that literal abusive parents are only that way cos of mental illness rather than yknw.. making the choice to be abusive. the “joke” wasnt intentionally meant to be saying that but its still how it ended up. And the really good part about it is that he didnt just take the opportunity of the original site being gone to pretend like he never made those mistakes, he edits out the actual content of the controversy itself but talks about what happened during his self re-review bonus section at the back. And he talks about why exactly he felt that this review was innapropriate and how he’s changed since then. Cos seriously over these years he’s been diagnosed with depression himself and started getting help with it and tried to become a really welcoming community for other mentally ill people! And he was always out about being gay even when he started his first review of Twilight, it was like 5 seconds into the first review before he couldnt restrain himself from yelling “is this really how straight people flirt??” XD But he used to kinda be a bit awkward maybe and uhh.. that relateable feel of trying to be “one of the good ones” according to bigoted standards? Like “oh im gay but i dont act TOO gay and i totally make gay jokes about myself ha ha ha”. I obviously can’t know for sure because i cant read his mind, but the impression i got from the reviews is that this was why he made some of his more crude jokes earlier on, despite being an absolute cinnamon roll of a man who didnt seem to believe any of the bigotry behind them. Either that or just genuinely not knowing that jokes were bigoted at the time, yknow? We all make mistakes and a lot of people amoungst minorities have a history of stuff like this cos internalized shame is a hell of a drug. I internalized transphobic stuff so hard that i was terrified of admitting i was trans, and overcompensated with trans jokes to try and convince people i was normal. And i didnt even properly comprehend what being trans WAS, i had this bigoted messed up idea of something i should be ashamed of, something that was “sick perverts getting off on dressing up” so of course it couldnt be me because I just felt.. yknow.. unhappy with what i was born as? Not any sort of big devious evil reason for it, just “dressing this different way makes me not want to kill myself”. But here’s lil kid me being told that the Only Possible Reason to want to do that is Gross Pedophile Reason, thus I built a big old labyrinth around my feelings and blindly repeated the rude shit my parents said without even understanding what it meant. Sighhh it was a big ol mess!

ANYWAY IM GOING OFFTOPIC AGAIN

I just made this post cos its really cool to see how your favourite creators have changed, especially when they had personal growth like that as well as just getting more and more awesome at the things they create. And it really warms my heart to see Mark being at peace with his own mental illness nowadays, and having like one of the most well regulated forums ever that doesn’t accept any form of bigoted behaviour and strives to welcome people like he is right now, and educate.. well, people like he was back then! And he’s also become so much prouder in his sexuality and found people who support him for who he is, after his super harrowing backstory of being abandoned by his parents and emotionally abused by fundementalist christian authority figures. And he now has an awesome adorable goofball of a boyfriend who even joins in on guest reviews sometimes, and it is absolutely AMAZING to see them teasing each other singing theme tunes to stuff and just generally being the definition of relationship goals!

AND THAT IS THE AWESOME THING THAT MADE MY HEART EXPLODE TODAY

Cos i bought the old harry potter review ebooks, and IT TURNS OUT HIS BOYFRIEND IS HERE! He cameos in prisoner of askaban yeaaaars before they started dating! he was actually the friend who’d already read the series and reccommended it to mark, so he’s kinda responsible for kickstarting the entire MarkReads blog?? THEY WERE DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER AWWWW!! Seriously YOOO i was like “huh he mentions a friend here with the same name as- OH MY GOD ITS HIM” And his cameo appearance is a dual review just like the ones he’d do later on, tho here its a transcript of an IM chat rather than an actual video. Man this is so early on that they didnt even live close to each other! God its Love Origins, holy shittt

fuck NOTHING warms my heart more than seeing the journey my fave creators go on! this man has come so far and im so glad he’s in a better place than when he started!! he’s just so happy and bubbly in his current reviews and he started off so grumpy on that first Twilight review and his Harry Potter review was like a kid in a candy store cos he was GENUINELY SURPRISED TO FIND AN ACTUAL GOOD BOOK! Aaaa his future boyfriend’s reccommendation led to him recapturing his love of reading and starting a whole career out of reviews. God thats so romantic!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck! My bigass heart cant handle this!!

So yeah uhh if you’re interested in a gay positive review series with an adorable bear of a man with the cutest beard and sleeve tattoos who just squees constantly about all the emotions he was taught to repress during an abusive childhood AND ALSO SMOOCHES HIS BOYFRIEND AND FINALLY GETS TO BE HAPPY YES, check out MarkReads and also the sister site MarkWatches! or his name in general is Mark Oshiro to find all the stuff he’s done. As I said before, there’s kind of this issue with archiving where all of his earliest posts are lost. And he rereleased them with all this bonus content as ebooks so we’d have a way to donate to support the site. So it might seem a bit intimidating for the “place to start” to be a pay-only thing, but I’d reccommend not reading in chronological order honestly. Its best to just go through his site and see if he did any books/shows that are your favourites, then start from there. That’s what i did, i think i discovered him via Buffy and Angel? And then I started watching ATLA because of him and WOW we had very similar levels of fanboy screaming, lol! So yeah you might discover some cool new series via this sweet man’s wonderful bloggings! :D

#oh god seriously im so moved by this silly little early review #him and his future bf still have the same joking chemistry even back before they got together! #theyre so sweet! and its good to know he had a great friend who supported him even back when he was in a #tougher time of his life #and great to know that his bf is someone he'd known for a long time and fully trusted #cos he's blogged before about being manipulated by abusive boyfriends back when he first came out of the closet and was #desperate to find love with anyone no matter what #god this poor guy!!! #he really deserves a good happy relationship like this #i cant believe its even happier than i thought! #man his biggest strength is how he's just so honest and emotional and doesnt have any of that fakey youtube personality stuff #he just gets you caring about him by being a man who cares about everyone #and seeing him grow is just.. agh heart pain extreme! in the best way! #i kinda even feel better about myself cos i wonder if i've grown just as much since i first read his blog as a lil closeted teen

[whoisonlinedatingfor]

So... I got tinder again, and I matched with this guy who seemed to have a pretty long profile, a decent assortment of pictures, and we had some decent back and forth conversation. He works in finance, as a trading analyst. I thought he looked pretty cute from his photos, and he suggested we meet up for drinks. It didn’t work out until after christmas, but he eventually texted me and we set up a date for before new years. He insisted on coming all the way up to where I lived, because he “always wanted to check out” my neighborhood. I was like lol ok... it’s far though. But he said he wanted to, but he had to see whether he was gonna have a long night at work. He would let me know by 4 pm.

By 3 pm he texted me saying he was sorry, it looked like it was gonna be a long night. i was like ah ok. That’s unfortunate... i was kinda bummed. First date in a while, I was ready to go out, meet someone new. He was sorry, he said, he asked if we could postpone it to next week.

Blah. School was starting. I didn’t even want to think about trying to travel around when school was in session, when I had to be in lab at 10AM every day. I guess that doesn’t really sound early but I usually wake up around 8AM during school days. So I said, “ah sorry, I don’t think so, school is starting and i won’t know my schedule and I’m really busy.” Fully intending to just let this one go. I even started making plans with this other guy (who was a self proclaimed “sapiosexual”) bc at that point I just wanted to fuck someone who found me attractive. But I feel like I knew he was gonna be just like that other consultant dude I tried seeing in Chicago. He would probably be a no go. But it was just drinks, hey? and maybe a few cuddles??

First dude, let’s just call him Sunshine, to his credit, actually texted back apologizing about his work schedule and said it wasn’t my fault, but maybe I would be down to get brunch next weekend? And I said, well, I have to do some volunteering at this clinic... but maybe sunday? He said that worked for him. At this point, it was still iffy for me because I knew I probably would be too tired to think about going out next weekend, to meet someone who probably was mediocre, and plus, meeting someone when you’re not up to meeting anyone is just the biggest waste of everyone’s time. So I decide I’m gonna go to my parents’ house and make them happy for once. I spend a few hours baking cheesecake and banana bread with my mom. Anywho, to my surprise, he texts me at 7:50pm saying that he got out early! Was I still free to meet up?

The jolt to my system was unmistakable. My palms started sweating. I casually started hyperventilating. I looked at my mom and I was like, I need to go. She asked me if I was meeting up with a friend. I didn’t even answer. I wolfed down dinner, sunshine and I made plans for him to come up here (he insisted, which I thought was hilarious. I was like, where’s the catch?) and we picked a bar and everything. And then he looked it up and realized travel time was >1h. And he was like ah... you’re a superhero for living there, you know? (just because he lives downtown in the middle of all the action; probably this was the furthest he’d ever traveled for an -uncertain- lay) I thought it was all kind of surreal and hilarious.. I wondered who was actually coming to meet me. I run all the way to my apartment, and I quickly shower and get ready, and there’s no time for makeup, for anything. Just me, my chapstick, and lotion on my showered skin. K. Cool. I didn’t even wash my hair, it just smelled like stir fry... hopefully he wouldn’t care?

He calls me, and I’m relieved to hear that he has a normal (bordering on deep!!!) voice, and he sounds like a normal person and he’s actually almost here, his phone is just dying. i told him to meet me near my apartment so that we could walk there, since I wasn’t sure what ridiculous bar this was that he had picked from the two options we had, and where exactly it was. I had to ask the roommate/friend of the guy I had a crush on at school for bar recommendations in the area because I literally was so clueless. Sure, I’ve lived here forever, but I don’t exactly go out drinking here. I go downtown. 

I realize I’m probably late. I run down to the bus stop, and he’s already there, looking at his phone. I jaywalk the hell out of this terrible street with terrible construction blocking my view, and I’m like heyyyyy sorry I’m late, have you been waiting long? I brought you a power cord and a power bank, so that if nothing else goes right, at least you can get home. He laughed and was really appreciative, except then I walked apparently on the “wrong side” of the street at some point, and it made him uncomfortable and he said the guy always needs to walk street side to protect from splashes and stuff. And I was like ah... well what if someone in the alleyway tries to mug me? He was like well, I got fat so maybe I’ll just surround you with my girth and protect you. Or actually you have a black belt, you could just protect us both. 

The bar was hilariously terrible. Middle aged, heavily made up women. It was ladies night, I found out after. The drinks were terrible. The lighting was terrible. It was loud, and it was quiet. We had to shout to hear over the music, and then adjust volume as the song petered out. It was truly an experience. I thought I was gonna die from awkwardness, but he persevered, bless his soul. We got 3 drinks each, and then I said I was gonna be done after that cuz it was just a waste of drinking capacity. He was debating whether he should uber home or take transit, cuz he was “poor” because he spends 200$ every time he goes out drinking. I thought about it, and finally I was like, well, you can stay over if you want. And he’s hemming and hawing about my roommates, wouldn’t they mind, yadda yadda. i was like lol... theyre not home... 

After that, his tone completely changed LMAO. He was like, sure! If you don’t mind. And I said nah it’s ok, can’t have you dying on your first foray here. Wouldn’t be good press for the neighborhood. And we started walking to get food and he was like oh nevermind, let’s just go back to your place. And I was like ok... so we started heading back in the opposite direction. And he’s kind of half wrapping his arm around me, and I lead him upstairs, and I’d left the lights on and it was all nice and beautifully moody, and we hang up our jackets like civilized people, and he asked for the tour but I was already heading to my room, and he follows me, and kisses me, and it was decent, and I was like ok this is ok.

And then things just start happening, and I had to pee but it wasn’t awkward like that first time, I was still turned on, thank you alcohol for lubricating everything, and then we had sex and it was good, great, actually, and then he showered, and asked if he could play music, and I heard him singing, and his voice is pretty good. And then we settle in to cuddle, and he gets hard again, we have sex again. And then he dozes off and snores for a bit, and I try to settle into sleep because the cuddles feel so good but I can’t sleep cuz I’m too excited, and then he wakes up with a boner and we go again, and then we just both can’t sleep cuz we’re both giggling and joking around because its 5 in the morning now so everything is hilarious even if it’s not, and we’re both so comfortable and happy (or maybe just me who knows) and then we wake up, its light out, its 7 am, he asks if I wanna go for round 4, but I’m legit in half dream state so I’m like no. And then he gets out, and the bed is cold now :( and he cuddles me for a bit and kisses me and then he leaves, and then I go back to bed.

We’ve been texting since then but I met up with him the day after and I feel like I was really awkward, or he was awkward, or we were both awkward, but he’s good at not letting it get to him, and he walked me to the train station after so I could go meet up with a different friend. It was a crazy day of seeing a lot of friends. Our texting is really good though, lots of chemistry there I feel. And we have a ton of inside jokes... Idk. 

I felt really sad when he didn’t text me back for most of the day, even though he said he was out with his cousin, doing touristy things. I feel like I’m falling into the same trap again. He “drunk texted” me, very coherently, that relationships scared him, because I told him my friend also broke up with his gf, and I said yeah, me too, kinda. But Idk if that’s a sign that he’s not gonna be into the idea of being in one? I’m overthinking this as usual, it’s too early. I might not even like him that much. And I might be trying to fit him into a mold of perfect bf when that’s not fair to either of us. Just because we had one good night of incredible chemistry. I guess that’s pretty rare in and of itself, and probably made possible by the fact that my roommates were not there, so we could be as loud as we liked. 

Idk. I keep telling myself to take this slow, but I literaly do not know how. One day at a time, I said, with false hope. I always rush things along. I want things to happen. I need things to happen. He said I seemed chill, which was hilarious. We all know how that goes. Me, chill. Maybe this time, it will be different? Maybe this time, I can just take it one day at a time. Maybe I don’t have to think about the future. And there are no worries, really, because I have an IUD, and I pray that I am lucky and that he is not lying when he says he is clean. Everything is TBD and I guess that scares me, but isn’t that all of life?

#tinder #thoughts #dating #online dating #new boy #overthinking