#hhhhhhhh sighs i gotta get ready for bed

[kuiinncedes]

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#jfc i need to stop fucking crying fhjfgff tw pet death or something sort of #my cat is dying basically and it like really sunk in after a conversation w my mom this morning #that we can't do anything anymore #and i've cried like fucking 6 times today or something i just don't want to have to deal with this lmfao #but my parents are out of town and my mom is the only one who is like as sad abt it i think #and like understanding idk me and her were 'closest' to our cat lmfao i guess lol #but my cat's fine she's just old and isn't eating or drinking and can barely walk now #and she like just doesn't move and stares into space instead of sleeping #and idk what to do i just feel like with my mom out of town it's all on me to try to take care of her and idk what to do #bc i can't do anything she's just at the end of her life #and i've been crying so much about it today lmfao i'm tired and my nose is completely stuffed #anyway it's part of life and whatever i'm just really sad about it today and probably until she dies and probably after that it's just #gonna be like this for a while lmao i just need to talk about it somewhere i guess #i don't rly wanna tell any irl friends or anything bc idk i just don't really wanna talk about it #so like if anyone sees this y'all can respond to the post but i probably wont reply to anything kldhfgjfgdfdf #also some minor other things that are stressing me out a tiny bit jfhjflks idk ugh #i haven't experienced actual loss/grief yet so this is fun #hhhhhhhh sighs i gotta get ready for bed #i've just been cycling thru like instagram tumblr ao3 youtube all day idk what to do lmfao #bc the minor other thing stressing me out is that i'm staying on this research team over the summer but #like i haven't been hired yet by the universtiy so i don'tthink i can technically do work yet #and i have rent to pay next semester so i kinda wanna make money and also like do this research work #but idk if i should while i'm in this headspace lmfao bc it's kinda heavy ish work #idk the hiring thing is kinda stressing me out #anyway skdjfghjsdfjgnslfdbsj idk where i'm going with this lol #jeanne talks #oh and it's hard bc last time i was home at the beginning of march she was completely fine #and like spending the night w me in bed and waiting for me outside the bathroom door while i got ready for bed #like #anyway