#hey...arent we supposed to meet rn

[clumsyclifford]

3, 6, 10 and 23 for the 5sos asks? love u <3

okay! good morning !! love you too let’s do this

3. who’s your favorite member and why? my favorite member! is! none of them! all of them! i don’t know dude. it changes. i don’t see a point in having a favorite member. i know that’s a very annoying and standard-issue Bella Answer but that’s my real answer. at the moment i genuinely cannot think of who would be my favorite since i just have not meaningfully interacted with anything current 5sos is up to. maybe ashton he’s being pretty funny

6. favorite bromance? shockingly enough this ALSO changes a lot :) but i will try and give a real answer. (even though the REAL answer is they’re really all my favorite for different reasons in different ways.) right now i am particularly fond of cashton and lashton in whatever form they manifest. in general i think in my life i have vastly underappreciated cashton, who are honestly so very powerful and clearly very close, and i reread a fic the other day that reminded me how much i love lashton, so. there you go. ask me in a week and get a different answer free !

10. which songs means the most to you? ooh. hm. hmm. that’s a question. my very first instinct was beside you, which i think i’ve mentioned before but was extremely close to my heart when i was in middle school Living Overseas and Missing My Friends. and lie to me means quite a bit to me, but it doesn’t have those roots in my soul the way beside you does. long way home is another one like this, not quite as profound as beside you but it definitely holds a lot of my heart. 

on the flip side though i am also gonna say english love affair because no joke that song alone has reminded me how much i can fucking love 5sos. i think it’s currently one of my favorite songs. banger banger banger

23. fav moment(s) from the hdweuh dvd? HAHAADFJHSKSJ well if you ask megs you’ll know that about 80% of my experience with hdweuh was just having a serious crisis over luke hemmings. BUUUUUUUT i would be so remiss if i didn’t say that my favorite moment was when they interviewed alex gaskarth <3 also i liked when everyone was talking about their bandmates. if that makes sense. that was cute

5sos asks :)

#doing these rn because i am SUPPOSED TO BE IN A MEETING #but my professor has not! sent a link! #two people who are ALSO supposed to be in the meeting have both DMed me and been like #hey...arent we supposed to meet rn #and ive just been like yup i emailed the prof not much else to do lol #i have coffee plans in like an hour sooooo idk whats gonna happen with this #ahhhhhhhhh #im trying to decide if favorite bromance is a different question from favorite ship #bc i think like. lashton (and cake) are my current Favorite Ships #but not BROMANCES like that feels like a different question #i'm not sure i answered that one correctly #muke is a good bromance i like them they are so good #i cant in good faith call malum a bromance when theyre soulmates you know what i mean #anyway. i know you know #look who i'm talking to lmfao #michaelownsmyheart #ask #answered

[fraldarrius]

today was a fucking RIDE

#we had a meeting with the district manager at my store today #bc we have a shitty manager who still hasnt come back to work #hes been out since march bc he ‘cant find childcare’ #which is bullshit but whatever #hes fucked anyway and no one wants him back #so we basically told the dm (and regional manager bc she was on a video call with us) about all the shitty things he does #and i made sure to mention that ive told him multiple times that i’d like to be a supervisor and been totally ignored #so at the end of the meeting shes like ‘hey sarah i just wanna talk to you for a couple minutes. you arent in trouble or anything tho’ #so im like oooookay? and i follow her out back #where she proceeds to tell me that she emailed my manager resources specifically for me to start the process of becoming a supervisor #and i was like ???? are you kidding me right now? he never said a word to me about this??? #and she was like ‘clearly 🙄’ #shes so fucking pissed at him #i am also pissed #i was so mad when she told me that i was literally shaking #if he’d done what he was supposed to i’d literally he a supervisor rn #thats MONTHS where i couldve been making more money #im just blown away #and i found out during the meeting that he told one of the current supervisors that hed never promote me #bc im ‘lazy’ and have ‘shit availability’ #i literally told him i’d fully open up my availability if it meant becoming a supervisor #and calling me lazy??? when he sits on his ass all day at work and leaves early constantly? if he shows up at all? LAUGHABLE #literally everyone at the meeting was like ‘sarah should be a supervisor’ #bc they know how hard i work and they believe in me #just knowing that he said and did that was a fucking slap in the face #shush sar

[attina-the-responsible]

How to Get Shotgun Married According to Mermaids ~*~ [Merfam Texts]

In which Andrina announces her big news...

@andrina-the-amazingsupergenius​, @adella-the-idyllic​, @arista-the-musical​, @alana-the-badbitch​, @ariel-the-rebel​, @melody-the-unwritten​

[tw -- uh none really]

SURPRISE guess whose mrs rob triton now 💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒💒

AristaToday at 9:03 PM

ooooh that ring is so pretty

AdellaToday at 9:03 PM

lol what

AlanaToday at 9:03 PM

what

AndrinaToday at 9:03 PM

thanks he stole it off some drunk wine mom probably!!!

ArielToday at 9:03 PM

lmao who?

AndrinaToday at 9:03 PM

haha kidding lmao

AlanaToday at 9:03 PM

haha happy april fools

AdellaToday at 9:03 PM

april fools was like 13 days ago mate

epic prank

AristaToday at 9:04 PM

oh well, that's probably not like the greatest way to get a ring, but its definitely pretty

AndrinaToday at 9:04 PM

hey our true love is no joke

plz expect my husband at fam dinners

AlanaToday at 9:04 PM

lol ok sure

AristaToday at 9:04 PM

wait whos your husband

AdellaToday at 9:04 PM

you wouldn't get married and not have us there lmao

ArielToday at 9:04 PM

???

AdellaToday at 9:04 PM

you don't even have...a boy...friend?

AlanaToday at 9:04 PM

im marrying charlie too

surprise

MelodyToday at 9:05 PM

two steps back please? Im confused

AlanaToday at 9:05 PM

its the shop boy

AristaToday at 9:05 PM

but Lan I thought you liked your wedding date boy

AlanaToday at 9:05 PM

she's been shagging adella

duh

AdellaToday at 9:05 PM

ohhhh

dick so good you had to put a ring on it huh

AristaToday at 9:05 PM

those are called cockrings

AlanaToday at 9:05 PM

no comment

ArielToday at 9:05 PM

:grimacing:

AdellaToday at 9:05 PM

arista lmfaooo

AlanaToday at 9:06 PM

keep it PG 13

for our wee lass

AdellaToday at 9:06 PM

o right right

AristaToday at 9:06 PM

whoops

I mean

AlanaToday at 9:06 PM

can't taint young ariel's eyes

wow when did i become attina

AttinaToday at 9:06 PM

[attina is not here rn leave a message after the tone]

ArielToday at 9:07 PM

omg i was joking its no big deal lmao dont worry arista

AndrinaToday at 9:07 PM

HONESTLY im fine if u all think this is a joke because it is hilarious and we did dare each other but in all seriousness, we did get married haha and i think i'll keep him around!

AdellaToday at 9:07 PM

...

AristaToday at 9:07 PM

Aw congratulations Andy

AlanaToday at 9:07 PM

arent u like

AdellaToday at 9:07 PM

wh

AlanaToday at 9:07 PM

allergic to commitment

AdellaToday at 9:08 PM

well congrats I guess man

AlanaToday at 9:08 PM

lol

AndrinaToday at 9:08 PM

He's like my work husband

plus now i can file for benefits right?

AlanaToday at 9:08 PM

haha

ArielToday at 9:08 PM

well congratulations i didnt get you a gift sorry

AndrinaToday at 9:08 PM

Trust me, no gifts needed

AristaToday at 9:08 PM

you did get a free ring

AlanaToday at 9:09 PM

lol

ArielToday at 9:09 PM

lol fair point

AristaToday at 9:09 PM

Well I'm happy for you Andy if this makes you happy :slight_smile:

AttinaToday at 9:09 PM

fuck you andrina

AndrinaToday at 9:09 PM

anywayyyy your support is SO welcome for when i tell daddy lol

AlanaToday at 9:09 PM

u realize she's still messing w us right arista

AlanaToday at 9:09 PM

wow tina

chill

AdellaToday at 9:10 PM

like if you're happy good for you but I'm not gonna pretend I'm not

really fucking

shocked

AndrinaToday at 9:10 PM

I understand

it is shocking

im shocked too

AdellaToday at 9:10 PM

and kinda sad we weren't there but

I want you happy

AlanaToday at 9:10 PM

why are you all so offended lol

[wait fuck]

AdellaToday at 9:11 PM

ah, I don't mean to!

AristaToday at 9:11 PM

well I think they wanted to be there Alana

AndrinaToday at 9:11 PM

we can do a reenactment for movie night

AristaToday at 9:11 PM

Ooh yay!

AndrinaToday at 9:11 PM

i'll have to rent another dress

AristaToday at 9:11 PM

Can I play the wedding music?

AndrinaToday at 9:11 PM

but i'll do that for you because i love you all

of COURSE

AristaToday at 9:11 PM

yay!

AlanaToday at 9:12 PM

can i be the flower girl

AndrinaToday at 9:12 PM

YES

think of me as wedding oprah

and u get a wedding! and u get a wedding!

AttinaToday at 9:12 PM

ATTINA TRITON has left the chat.

AndrinaToday at 9:12 PM

BIG yikes there

AttinaToday at 9:12 PM

[this is probably the first time]

[that has ever happened]

[for the record]

AristaToday at 9:12 PM

oh wow

AlanaToday at 9:12 PM

jesus attina

AristaToday at 9:12 PM

I click the wrong button all the time

AttinaToday at 9:12 PM

[AHAHA}

[i actually just cackled]

AndrinaToday at 9:13 PM

well anyway

that was my news

MelodyToday at 9:13 PM

(melody is like am i supposed to be in this ???)

AndrinaToday at 9:13 PM

take it how you will

AlanaToday at 9:13 PM

thanks can;t wait to meet my new big bro

ArielToday at 9:13 PM

are we still going to get cake???

AndrinaToday at 9:13 PM

yes ariel

wedding oprah remember?

u want cake we'll get a cake

ArielToday at 9:16 PM

whelp im satisfied then

AdellaYesterday at 9:18 PM

right so are we gonna stop joking now

there's no way you actually got married andy

AndrinaYesterday at 9:18 PM

i really dunno what to tell u dell

AlanaYesterday at 9:20 PM

i for one am glad i get a hot brother in law

AndrinaYesterday at 9:20 PM

thank u lana!!! rob will probably appreciate that??

AristaYesterday at 9:22 PM

I think Rob is lovely

AndrinaYesterday at 9:23 PM

Thank you Arista, and you know attina isnt here rn but she'd agreed with u

she thinks rob is smashing

Daddy even likes Rob

AttinaYesterday at 9:23 PM

[i do but that is SO not the point]

AristaYesterday at 9:26 PM

Mhm everyone does like Rob. I am happy for you

MelodyYesterday at 9:31 PM

congrats Andy :slight_smile:

AlanaYesterday at 9:32 PM

congrats andy !

#bdrpandrina #bdrpadella #bdrparista #bdrpalana #bdrpariel #coral #attilla #attista #atlanta #big and little mermaids #1+2+3+4+6+7 #mersisters #mersisters texts #how to get shotgun married according to mermaids #this isn't even all of it lmao #everyone split up into #private texts to #discuss the hashtag drama #not formatting this cuz it's long

[wazm]

kinda lost blog

I just wish to feel genuine joy in my life. I'm so afraid of chasing my goals cos what if I get to where I need to be and it's not exactly what I want. nevermind trying to reach for my goals cos I've been doing that..working every day..trying to bring myself closer to my goals but fail...struggling to sit down and just write music...i can't get myself to do it... I can't get myself to create anything.. I procrastinate the things I'm supposed to do with irrelevant big tasks..trying to distract myself constantly... I just feel empty inside...

what makes my hallow chest even deeper is the fact that all my relationships remind me of the bad decisions I've made..and theyre, not even bad decisions..its just meh...average..nothing worthwhile noting really..combined with abunch of negative outcomes...like he fact that i know a shit ton of people but i have zero real friends...i once had a friend who knew me for more than 7 years but he never exactly knew his boundaries...he’d show up to my house unannounced...id never get space...but at least i still had a friend..id do countless favors for him and never ask him anything in return but giving me space...one time i tried distancing myself from him and when i started to notice, he got so offended...after this happened, we never spoke to months...probs the longest time apart since we’ve been friends...then we kinda rekindled things...and he decided to plan a guys trip to bring us closer together...trip was okay...but ended really bad...he blocked me off everything..games, facebook, whatsapp...everything...he lives up the road from me...but ive never seen him since....idk if its a blessing or a curse...i hope things are okay with him...he wasnt the smartest but he was smart enough to comprehend certain sitautions ive been going through...good enough for me to vent to and console me...thats kinda all i need sometimes...but no more of that...he was kinda my bridge to a group of other friends we had...and after the boys trip it was like i lost everyone..social life took a hard knock...im sorry..just wish you trusted me more...

i tried filling the void by making my gf do things i did with my friends...never went down well...she just seems like someone who never knows how to have fun anymore..we used to have interesting chats..i was so inlove with her, I never saw her flaws...and she taught me this word “resentment”...well its not tht i never saw her flaws...i just chose to ignore them..and told myself that things will get better, and she’ll grow..and change...but i feel like shes been making me more like her since we’ve been dating...i swear i did so much things before her...but we’ve been together so long, i dont even know who that person is anymore...i bet, even if i left her, i wouldnt be able to bounce back...and the odd thing is that, when we started dating almost 5 years ago, i made it our philosphy that we are individuals in a relationship, we are not the relationship but it seems like she wasnt even herself back then and started being me...and now its like, shes nothing without me and my whole life has grown so much onto her, i kinda feel the same in return...just less attached to her since i felt like i was feeding her nucleas...might be exaggerating but homegirl cant initiate anything without me. nevermind choosing a meal when we go out, she cant even make a plan without needing 90% input from my side...and thats how most things are between us...if shes upset, ill fix it...risk my life and beyond to fix it...physically have done this many times before...walked from my house to hers at 2am in the morning, through the ghettos, more than a kilometer away..even been gun pointed and got things stolen from me, just to make her feel better when she was upset in the middle of the night...im not expecting that in return but she lits does the bare minimum in return...id be sad, then she be like...awww...im sad you’re sad...done..thats it...she’d lits be like...what can i do to fix things....again wanting my input...i might as well be dating myself...idk why im with this girl anymore...i hurt inside everytime i tell her i love her...cos i just dont anymore...and its been like this for a while...i wish she found this post and decided to leave me..cos i cant leave her...ive broken her heart so many times and told her i wanted to leave but i just end up coming back to her cos im sucha fucking pussy seeking some sort of social acceptence or friendship and i feel like shes all i have rn...not much of a gf hey...but its not like im worth anything either...idk...im so paranoid shes cheated on me in the past cos shes lied to me in the past and told me 3 years later about those lies...you know when someone lies to you and then when you find out about the lies and you ask why’d you do it and shes like...idk...i just feel like its lies ontop of lies...really cant trust her....i wish i had it in me to cheat on her...but i just dont like most females...id be infatuated with someone but would be put off so easily by the slightest thign...things would make so much sense if i was secretly gay but im not...the longer i seem to be in this place, the deeper im digging my grave...i feel like the time with my almost 5 year relationship feels like its getting harder to leave the longer i stay in it....i really dont know what to do...but i feel like i fuck up most of my relationships...not just my romantic one...

my relationship with my parents are just a nightmare...same goes for my other family members...and you know what...i do so much for people...countless favors...countless volunteer jobs...extra miles for people who wont even move an inch for me...but just let me mention this to anyone, then im in the wrong...i just feel like i cant voice any shortcomings to anyone and im made out to be the bad guy for doing this....whether its my parents or my sisters...id do everything for them, and i do everything for them, even things they dont ask me for...but let me raise an opinion that doesnt resonate with them, and it turns into an argument and if i decide to step out before things get sour, im still made out to be the bad guy cos how dare i do something so rude....i just feel like no1 wants to listen to me at all...for my last birthday i tried staying away from my family and decided to work on a few movies with my friends and i had fun, we arent the closes friends but, campus friends...theyre actually in a whole other faculty..so we just barely know eachother but we’ve worked on movies before and thats kinda our history together as friends....so its my birthday and i agreed to work with them on this day...all day..from like 7am until almost 10pm..and my family, not communicating with me, decides to go out for supper for my birthday...and just expects me to leave this project im working on for them...so they invite people to join them for this birthday supper...without having me there...anyways after i finished my day shooting, i was pretty smug about working instead of spending the day with my family...and on the last few moments of my birthday my sister makes a shitty comment, wanting me to shut the fuck up cos she doesnt have the energy to listen to my voice..it really broken my heart, how my whole birthday was spoilt in moments....wish she couldve just waited a tiny bit longer...i wouldve been happy with that..but naa...no1 wants to listen to anything i have to say, let alone have me around in their presence....i just feel like starting a new life somewhere else...and thats kinda what i had planned...

really thought i was going to leave south africa and immigrate to australia to go sound study there...filled in all the paper work...spoke back-and-forth with the uni over there and they extended the communication so long, i thought things were set...seemed like i was so close to getting the big change ive been seeking for so long...but they sent me this stinky ‘ol email with extra modules id have to do and the tuition fees went from $11,000 to $35,000 which is ridiculous as my countries currency isnt australian dollars and is 10 units weaker than theirs...never in my life have i ever felt like money defined my life...lits had my life in limbo cos i was waiting for responses from this people...and when i finally got a response it was too late to apply at the local college...idk what im doing this year...i tried looking for work online, but no response...made ads for work on fiverr...tried upwork, tried quickengig...even rev...all these sites people advertise as quick ways to make money....a bunch of lies...i made $0, 3 weeks going now. nothing. i even invested in making a business logo, wrote descriptions...adjusted my ads multiple times...still...blue ticks from the online work field...i applied for jobs ive seen on indeed and on gumtree and jobfinder....but no response...nothing...blue ticked...ima say luckily im working part-time for this events company and its kinda an opportunity to network with the sound industry but the live sound industry is filled with racist pricks who patronize you when you’ve done the time to learn the work they know...so no work online freelancing, no work applying for work..no work physically meeting people...really makes me feel like this isnt a viable option for me...cant even study locally or internationally anymore...

im just so lost...alone..hurt..wish someone would save me the way ive saved others before..