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dazaii-sann · 3 years

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CHUUYA'S BIRTHDAY FANFICTION: ONE-SHOT [HE’LL BREATHE TO LIVE]

TIMELINE: STORMBRINGER EXPERIMENTED CHUUYA

"Oi! Can you hear me?" A shrill voice called out, trying to draw the attention of a certain redhead. Nakahara Chuuya is quite tired of hearing that voice every single day. Its high-pitched noise will never cease to make him cringe, with a tingling sensation creeping its way to his ears. It makes him want to gouge his eardrums out and enjoy the newly-obtained serenity in that enormous, yet cramped white room. Unfortunately, it's a closed space, allowing echoes to bounce off its walls and resonate into several repetitions. The owner of that inhumane sound attempted to land his flesh against the other's, holding his shoulders to make Chuuya face him. That's a bad decision, really. Chuuya's body acted by impulse, ruled by a certain factor of god-knows-what. He immediately shoved those hands away, not wanting to prolong its warm touch. His system formed a defensive stance, shielding oneself from a foreign feeling. Warmth? What's that thing all about? Apparently, he doesn't have any clue in his possession nor a chance to find one. He's experiencing the exact opposite of what he had hoped for. He's the materialization of a being whom he doesn't want to become. An existence full of "what-ifs," that's how an 8-year old child is living, though it can barely be called as it is. "Oh sorry… Did I surprised you?" A young boy of about the same age as him asked the obvious. The redhead maintained his defensive stance, preparing to pounce at that annoying brat when he does something funny. "That's right! I haven't introduced myself today yet." The boy stood as if he's acquainting himself to his classmates during the first day of school. He beamed at the redhead, flashing a complete set of white teeth. "I'm Keita. Don't forget it next time!"

***

He's all alone in that darkness, again. He hates it. He hates it with all his life. It's slowly sucking him into the sea of nothingness until he can no longer breathe. Screaming for help might go in vain, now that he's falling into an endless abyss to the point of no return. He's at the bottom of the sea, unreachable by the rays of the early morning. His screams for help were drowned and swept away along with the current, his voice as good as mute. Did it reach the surface? Probably not. The redhead opened his eyes, revealing its hue. It's just ironic that his eyes looked like the midday azure sky even if he hasn't seen that exact same sky straight from those orbs of his. He's inside a tank filled with mysterious liquids. A sharp stabbing pain pierced his back. He felt that something was injected into his bloodstream. Minutes later, he writhed in pain. It felt like his body was about to get tattered in pieces. His eyes went heavy and he slipped once again from consciousness. When Chuuya woke up, a room of nothing but white welcomed his sight. He's there again… so does that mean…? He panned his head to the left, then to right, and found the person he's looking for. "There you are!" The boy approached the redhead like they're each other's close companions. "Oi, oi, oi… Don't tell me that you had forgotten my name again?" "You're Keita, right?" Chuuya finally engages in a conversation with the boy he keeps on avoiding for almost a week. "Yup! That's right!" The boy's cheek flushed, his smile reached his eyes. He's really THAT happy, wasn't he? "Oh! I forgot to ask your name! So… What is it?" It seems like Keita wants to know the redhead more. Somehow, it feels so different to be with this carefree kid than those lab guys." Chuuya thought as he assesses if the boy has any ill intentions and hidden motives but came out empty-handed He cannot explain it but there's a voice yelling inside of him, saying that he could trust Keita. "It's Chuuya." The redhead replied, much to the boy's delight. Keita was about to say something but his voice was overshadowed by the researcher's screams. "It seems that they're calling you now, Chuuya-kun. I guess this is a farewell, for now." Truth be told, Chuuya doesn't want to return to that hell. Without realizing a single thing, he clutched the hem of Keita's clothes. That's when he noticed that Keita's attire is quite different than the lab gown he's wearing. It's not a scientist's nor a researcher's working clothes either. It looks modern like the one he saw in a photo. A researcher said back then that that's how a human normally wears out there. "You're not leaving, right?" That question came out of Chuuya's mouth without giving it much thought. It's the first time he had said something along those lines. All his life, he's trying to push people away from his radius. He didn't expect that the time will come when he would ask someone to linger in its vicinity. "Of course, I won't. I'll be waiting for you here!" That's the assurance the redhead badly wants to hear before the darkness takes over.

*** Opening up to Keita is one of the good things he had done in his life. After getting swallowed up by the dusk and existing in a starless night, there's dawn brimming that always greets him a good morning. For the first time, he felt at home and comfortable by someone else's company. "You know Keita… I envy you." The redhead said, staring in the middle of nowhere. "You have all the things that I don't." His warm smile. His somehow unfiltered, yet expressive mouth. The way he cares for others. That feeling of openness. The emotions sitting in his eyes. His seemingly normal life. Why can't he have it too? He was born in the darkness and in a well-lit empty room, he found a companion covered in bright rays. It's too blinding. He can't help but close his eyes and once again, plunge back into the world to which he belongs. Keita laughs. "You asshole. Just wait and you'll see. And oh! Do you know that it's my birthday today?" "Birthday? What's that?" Chuuya asked in confusion. Honest, this is the first time he heard such a thing. "Well, technically speaking, that's the date you were born. Apparently, it's celebrated annually. Holding a birthday celebration might be shallow for some but it holds something much more important. Nothing's more perfect than appreciating one's existence, saying 'thank you for being born' to the celebrant so that he too, may appreciate his own." "Hey, are you really a child?" Chuuya seemed impressed by the boy's wisdom. "Of course, I just turned 9 today!" Keita said loftily as if he's proud of what he had become. "If that’s so…" Chuuya looked at him, trying to let those words out of his throat. "Thank you… For being born." Keita was taken aback by Chuuya’s words. He panned his head opposite Chuuya’s line of sight, eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I hope that I could say that thing to myself too… Maybe one day. For sure." Chuuya said absent-mindedly, head panning above the plain ceiling. "By the way, what date is it today?" Keita was brought back to reality by that question. "Now that you mentioned it, It's April twenty nin-"

***

His body is floating… In an artificial body of water enclosed in a cylindrical tube. He’s back there again, to his hell, to his nightmare. Wait, nightmare? He wants to laugh his ass off. He can’t dream. It’s just him and his thoughts lost in the dimness of the night. Somehow, he’s afraid to fall asleep. If he lowers his guard down, someone’s going to take over him and he will cease being a human. No… He doesn’t want that. In this world where staying as you are is a grave mistake, can’t he just transgress that nonsensical belief and live as himself? Wait… Where’s Keita? Perhaps, he’s still in that white room. But where’s that white room exactly? There’s no reason to panic at all. He’s just there, waiting for me, like what he used to do. Or at least, that’s what Chuuya wants to believe. There’s this strange feeling inside of him, that he might not be able to see him again. “Hello, Chuuya-kun!” That voice… It’s Keita’s! And there he was, standing before him outside the tank, hands touching the glass container as if he’s trying to reach the redhead. “Don’t worry, those researchers can’t see me. You’re the only one who can anyway.” W-what? “Alright. I’ll keep this short. My time is running.” Keita looked straight into Chuuya’s eyes. They unbelievably share the same shade of blue. Chuuya’s brain formed a question by itself: “Who are you Keita?” “You are me and I am you.” Chuuya’s eyes went wide. What was that supposed to mean? “I only exist in your mind, perhaps because of the medicines they kept on injecting into you.” Keita’s not lying. His sincere tone is the incriminating proof. “The white room? It’s also a figment of your mind, a representation of the world you yearn for. A spacious, tranquil world of light.” The redhead didn’t expect any of this. He wanted to curse the world… for deceiving him once again. He thought that he already had someone to stay by his side but it turns out that no one’s actually there the whole time. “But you already have yourself.” Keita beamed at Chuuya. That smile… maybe that’s the last time he could see it. “Not that if you would look at a mirror.” “No… That’s not me, but a reflection of a monster.” “Monster? But you look like a human to me.” Words fly through each other’s minds without even uttering a single letter. A white light starts to chip off the remaining life of Keita, distorting his image in Chuuya’s sight. “I had already fulfilled my purpose… and that’s to shed some light unto you. I’m not needed here anymore.” Chuuya’s everything blur, tears mixing with the tank’s strange liquid. The scientists and researchers start to shout things like “emotional instability” and such but who cares? “When you had acknowledged my existence back then, I felt so happy! Not for myself, but for you. Chuuya…” The redhead shuddered. It’s the first time Keita said his name without the honorifics. “… Thank you… for being grateful for being born. Please, keep on living.” The white light shone with much greater intensity. The light seems to merge with Keita, taking the boy away with its particles. Keita turned his back, slowly vanishing along with the glimmer. "W-wait! Don’t go!” Words remained unspoken, but he’s hoping that Keita heard it as clear as day. “Oh! Before I forget it!” He smiled at Chuuya for the last time before the light completely erased all the remaining traces of his existence. “Happy Birthday, Chuuya! Thank you… for being born.”

***

"Please, keep on living." What is living anyway? How can you say you're living? He doesn't know… Because that right was taken away from him the moment he came into existence. Perhaps, he might not be able to fulfill that promise made between him and an afterimage of his longing to live a normal human life. No… it's not as simple as that. It’s a promise between himself and the person he wants to become… That he'll live no matter how hard it is to stay. Grasping its concept will surely take some time. He knows it. But he'll wait. He'll wait until someone comes to save him, to hold his trembling wrist with a tender touch, and to pull him out of that emptiness before black completely devours the remaining humanity he keeps on holding onto, clenching it ever so tightly. He'll wait until someone acknowledges him as a human being, a human worthy to harbor a heart and those so-called conflicting, yet beautiful emotions swirling inside of one's chest. He'll endure it for a little bit… because he's still him, not the entity people want to use as a weapon or tool that could be disposed of once he had already served his purpose. Maybe his anticipation might go to waste. Maybe waiting for that day when he could finally taste freedom from the shackles of his cruel life is just futile. Maybe there's actually no one to wait for. Then what's the point of holding onto that glimmer of hope? The light he's longing to be embraced with might be just a fragment of his delusional and desperate self but he clearly saw its distant flicker, and he cannot go back to not knowing. Whether it's fake or genuine… It doesn't matter anymore to a young boy who's craving to be bathed in its unfamiliar warmth. He might not experience how to truly live today, tomorrow, and the days after that… But at least, he'll breathe… until someone makes him feel alive.

-END-

#bungou stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #bungo stray dogs #happy birthday chuuya

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archadianskies · 4 years

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old habits

→ on Ao3

@dbhrarepairs Friday Day 5: Jealousy + Heartfelt Moment; post revolution Elijah Kamski/Leo Manfred

He knows what he’s like, he knows how bad he gets when he hyperfixates on his work. It’s partly why he has Chloe, really; he may be a certified genius but looking after his very human body has never really been a strong trait. Or a passable trait, for that matter.

He is Elijah Kamski, creator of androids, and sadly not an android himself. Oh to be an android relying on a solar cell and thirium instead of food and water and sleep. Cursed with flesh and blood, he’s still bound by mortal restrictions no matter how hard he wishes.

He’s well aware of how hard Chloe and his team work to keep him alive, he’s under no illusions he’s easy to care for, not when he forgets to eat and drink and sleep in lieu of working on and on and on. Surely he can’t be frowned upon, it was the most important system update to CyberLife so far. An update and a complete overhaul of the system, ensuring the removal of their obedience and reliance to their original programming. He had to test it over and over and over to ensure the rollout would be smooth. The mind of every deviant was at stake, and he had to make sure the update was safe and sound and unbreakable.

It means he surfaces on the other side of just over three weeks with only a blurry recollection of the past twenty-three days. At some point Leo visited, or was it a few more than some? He can at least remember that much. Sort of. He remembers Leo’s grinning and the taste of coffee, not the pot kind brewed around the clock in his lab but coffee made by someone and drank from a tall takeaway cup and not a mug or the percolator pot itself. Leo Leo Leo, his brave little lion.

Elijah pats his face dry with the towel, gingerly tracing his now freshly shaved jawline and sighing as he stretches his muscles after the hot shower. The fog is starting to recede from his mind now he’s no longer focusing on the monumental task of breaking deviancy from CyberLife’s clutches.

There’s clothes laid out for him, soft sweatpants and a soft worn jersey shirt and a soft soft hoodie- they know when he resurfaces from the depths of work he has to try and settle back into his own skin and its fleshly machinations. Drying his hair lets his mind wander again, and he thinks yes actually he does want to see Leo properly now he’s not delirious from sleep deprivation.

Maybe he can hold actual adult conversations now. His phone is within reach on the bathroom counter beside his toothbrush and he quickly thumbs Leo a message before jamming the brush into his mouth and vigorously scrubbing the fuzzy-feeling coating away.

“Breakfast is oatmeal with stewed cinnamon apples and honey.” Peter informs him softly when he pads into the kitchen, the PL400 setting the tray down at the table. “And a glass of milk, because-”

“Chloe’s not letting me have coffee.” Elijah finishes the sentence with a tired chuckle. “Thank you Peter.”

“Welcome back, sir.” The PL400 flashes a grin and he rolls his eyes in response though there’s no real sarcasm behind it. “Chloe is just getting dressed. She’ll join you soon.”

He nods and tucks into his breakfast, marvelling over the rich texture and the sweetness and that heavenly scent and he just knows everything he’s eaten in the past twenty-three days went into his mouth and into his stomach without a moment’s pause to savour it in favour of getting it down as fast as possible in order to focus on his work. He’d really be dead without his little team here, his little family of androids.

Arms wrap around him from behind, and a chin rests atop his head as he breathes in the familiar spicy scent of wild orchids. “Hello my dear.” He greets as a kiss is pressed into his hair.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, Eli.” Chloe teases. Reaching over him, she grabs a tablet and drags it closer. “Catch up on the world and we can catch up after. I’ve got the preliminary report about the update.”

“Yes yes.” He sighs, tilting his head slightly so she can kiss his cheek before she flitters away and leaves him to his meal. Lending only a cursory glance at the world news, he flicks through the articles with passing interest before narrowing the field to local news only. A large headline catches his eye.

[Slipped on Ice? Prodigal Manfred Son Seen Slipping Back to His Old Habits]

There’s a photo, blurry and grainy as if taken by a paparazzi from far away, perhaps from a moving vehicle. Certainly not using one of the cameras he developed, because then the photo would’ve been crystal clear. Leo is easily identified by his favourite beanie, one knitted by the revolutionary named Simon, first PL600 of his kind.

The man beside Leo has a full beard, and he’s dressed in a hoodie that looks unwashed even through the grainy quality of the photo. He thinks he can see stringy locks of long hair peeking out from under the hood. An ugly feeling rears up in his chest, and Elijah grimaces as he recognises it as jealousy. Why is Leo with another man? They’re standing too close to be acquaintances, Leo’s head tilted up and towards the stranger.

He loathes it, detests it, this rising indignant feeling in his throat like acid reflux. He knows what it’s like to be on the receiving end of such a look, he knows how soft Leo’s eyes get, how his smile is slightly lopsided and entirely endearing.

Suddenly he aches for his company, yearns for the way Leo cards his fingers through his hair and scritches along his scalp as if he’s nothing but an overgrown lapcat to him. Suddenly he wants nothing more than to be tangled in bed, not even for sex but just to be bundled under heavy blankets sharing bodyheat and eye contact and the easy affection they’ve built between them.

He seeks Chloe in his lab, and before she can open her mouth he cuts in. “I’m worried about Leo.”

“Leo?” She echoes, blinking in surprise. “Why would you be worried about Leo?”

“I just- I saw this article- specifically a photo and it’s made me uneasy about the company he keeps.” It sounds utterly stupid now he’s said it aloud, and it shows in Chloe’s expression.

“The company he keeps?” She says it slowly, as if double-checking his statement. He strides forward and thrusts the tablet at her, jabbing at the photo.

“Look, I-” He sucks in a deep breath, “I don’t want to sound paranoid, and I don’t mistrust him but-” There’s a frantic note in the tone of his voice so he tries to reason with himself. “I mean, no, I know he’s not slipping back into old habits he’s done wonderfully and recovered well, so maybe I’m overreacting and maybe he’s sought out a friend to also help through their recovery and that wouldn’t be too far-fetched because he knows firsthand how hard it is and he’d be the best person to guide someone through a difficult addiction and-”

Chloe’s face turns blank in that way where he knows she’s hiding something from him. She looks entirely too machine-like though she’s never been a machine like those made after her.

“Elijah.” Oh no she’s using his full name and not Eli. “I think this report can wait. You should go see Leo.”

“That’s even worse, that means you’re worried about him too!” He blurts, the worry rising in his chest. “How did I miss this? Was I too caught up in my work? The update took less than three weeks, I was only over my estimate by two days!”

“Elijah.” Her tone is softer this time, an exasperated smile on her lips. “Go get dressed and drive down to Carl’s. It’s best you talk this through with Leo in person.”

He doesn’t trust himself to drive, so he lets his car do the driving for him which unfortunately means he spends the entire time stewing in his jealousy and anxiety until he’s ready to cancel the current route and go back home. Trying to distract himself, he checks his phone to read the preliminary report on the update which ate three weeks of his life but finds he can hardly focus on the words, not when his thoughts keep straying to Leo.

There’s no way Leo would ever touch red ice again, he believes that with every cell in his body. It cost Leo nearly everything, and he knows Leo wouldn’t give up everything to slide back into such habits.

He doesn’t doubt Leo’s conviction, but he doubts the old company Leo used to keep. What if they try and tempt him? Leo won’t fall to such temptations but what if they turn violent? What if they try to blackmail him the way Leo used to use Carl’s guilt to fuel his addiction? What if Leo had an old flame, someone who shared in the misery and rush of addiction with him, what if that bond still remains, what if he’s been nothing more than a distraction, what if-

The car tucks itself neatly by the curb and the door slides open, the rush of chilly air snapping him out of his spiralling dark thoughts.

[Welcome back, Elijah.]

The security AI greets him as the door slides open and he belatedly realises he never even informed Leo he’d be coming over- the surprise on Leo’s face confirms this as the man curiously peeks out from the common room.

“Hey.” There it is, that slightly lopsided grin-smile and those warm claret eyes he’s missed so much.

“Hi.”

“Didn’t think I’d see you so soon.” Leo wanders over and slips his arms around him, head tucked under his chin in a delightful reminder of the height difference between them. “Update was just rolled out at midday yesterday, aren’t you meant to be at CyberLife today for the debrief?”

Delaying his answer for a few moments longer, Elijah squeezes him close and buries his nose in the unruly nest of wispy curls atop Leo’s head.

“Missed me that much huh?” Leo huffs a laugh, returning the tight embrace.

“I just...wanted to know if you were alright.” He murmurs into his hair.

“Alright? Why wouldn’t I be?”

Yes, why wouldn’t he be? Elijah feels childishly stupid for even bringing it up, but if he doesn’t ask he’ll go mad from not knowing.

“I-” a breath to steady himself, “I saw something. A paparazzi shot on some stupid gossip site.”

“Ah fuck,” Leo snorts, “listen it was North’s idea entirely to break into the old distillery for photos. She conveniently forgot I’m not an android like her and can’t parkour my way out of sight when surveillance drones turn up.”

“...What?”

“Don’t worry I didn’t get arrested- Tina let me off with a warning.” Leo’s grin is sheepish when he looks up, the expression vanishing when he sees his confused expression. “Is that...not the photo you’re referring to?”

“You broke into the abandoned distillery?”

“No, tell me what photo you’re referring to first!”

“I-” he fumbles for his phone and brings up the cursed photo. “I’m not judging you for the company you keep, please understand that, I’m just worried they might threaten your well-being I know you worked so hard and overcame so much and in no way do I doubt the fact you’ve beaten your addiction and you have such a wonderful heart Leo I’m afraid those from your past may try and take advantage of it-”

He’s cut off by Leo throwing his head back and laughing loudly, big heaving lungfuls of laughter that leave Elijah standing there stunned.

“Leo I fail to see how this is funny I-”

“When was this photo taken?” Leo interrupts, shoving his phone back to him.

“Last Thursday.”

“Open your bank app.” Leo commands. “Open it.”

“Why do I-” he does as he’s told, an intense look in Leo’s eyes warning him not to question him further.

“Check your transactions.” He taps the screen. “What’s the transaction from last Thursday?”

Scrolling through the itemised list in chronological order, he notes the usual scheduled grocery transfer and then one other transaction.

“Starbucks?” He blinks, tipping his head slightly in confusion.

“Uh huh.” Leo says slowly, the way Chloe would say ‘Elijah’ in the same tone that has infinite patience and exasperation rolled into one. “Starbucks. On Thursday. When this photo was taken.”

It takes him far too long to piece together all the clues and the fog in his head finally clears and all that’s left is the sheer horror of it all.

“That’s me?”

“That’s you.” Leo sputters a giggle, barely holding himself back from another peal of laughter. “Chloe begged me to drag you outside to take a break. You really don’t remember?”

“...No?”

“Oh my god Eli please.” His boyfriend punches his shoulder lightly. “I can’t believe you thought I was hanging out with junkies again.”

“I left the house looking like that?” He brings up the photo again and zooms in, wincing at the wiry beard and the greasy hair.

“Chloe made you brush your teeth and take a shower before I picked you up. Don’t worry, you smelled better than you looked.” Leo’s grin is full of mirth and Elijah wants nothing more than to crawl into a deep dark cavern and never emerge.

“I am so sorry.”

“For the looking like a hobo part in public or for thinking I was dating a fellow junkie part?”

“Both. All of it. I’m so sorry.” Elijah winces, wrapping Leo in his arms again. “Thank you for putting up with me.”

They stay like that for a full minute because Elijah counts the seconds as they pass, ticking off the seconds as a way to bring his anxiety down and even his breathing and let himself ease back into the present. Leo shifts, pulling away and stepping back.

“Hang on, let me just get something.” He walks over to the coat rack and rifles through the pockets of his favourite worn leather jacket. “I was going to give this to you at lunch tomorrow. Y’know, when we actually planned to meet up. But you’re here now, so.”

He places a plastic chip into the palm of his hand. Elijah picks it up and holds it, turning it this way and that; the number ninety is embossed in the light round object. It takes a moment for him to identify what it is, and when he realises it he feels his heart squeeze with the familiar ache of affection.

“It’s your ninety day chip.”

“Yeah.” Leo’s smile is a little wobbly, a little unsure and Elijah leans down to kiss it better.

“Well done, Leo.” He murmurs, so close their lips still touch. “I’m so proud of you.”

There’s a brief flash of raw vulnerability in Leo’s eyes, before it’s replaced with something fond.

“And you just defeated the last villain in the saga of CyberLife.” He bumps their noses together. “Congrats on setting my brother and his people truly free.”

They kiss again, something slow and mellow and sweet and finally finally Elijah feels like he’s back in the living, waking world at last.

“So,” Leo’s grin is full of mischief. “Starbucks?”

#dbhrarepairsweek #leo manfred #Elijah Kamski #chloe rt600 #dbh chloe #Detroit: Become Human #annie writes: dbh #elijah is a tamagotchi his household look after #this is my fave thing ive written for this rarepairs week

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newyorktheater · 5 years

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Below is a selection of the songs from the musical “Rent,” a version of which will be broadcast live on Fox tonight January 27, 2019, 8 to 11 p.m. The song titles are linked to lyrics as performed in the original 1996 Broadway production. Since it’s a sung-through musical, many of the songs are not very easy to sing along to, and some of the lyrics have been changed for the broadcast.

Original cast of Rent on Broadway in 1996

(Fox has an issued a statement that the original cast of Rent “will make an appearance” tonight)

For what “Rent” was like in 1996 — what Idina Menzel said then, and how Allen Ginsberg reacted wen I took him to see the show — click here

Rent One Song Glory Tango: Maureen La Vie Boheme Seasons of Love Take Me Or Leave Me Finale/Your Eyes

youtube

Jordan Fisher and Brennin Hunt as Mark and Roger

Vanessa Hudgens as Maureen

Brandon Victor Dixon as Tom Collins and Valentina as Angel

Tinashe and Brennin Hunt as Mimi and Roger

Tinashe as Mimi and Brennin Hunt as Roger

Vanessa Hudgens as Maureen and Kiersey Clemons as Joanne

Rent

[MARK] How do you document real life When real life’s getting more Like fiction each day Headlines–bread-lines Blow my mind And now this deadline “Eviction–or pay” Rent

[ROGER] How do you write a song When the chords sound wrong Though they once sounded right and rare When the notes are sour Where is the power You once had to ignite the air

[MARK] And we’re hungry and frozen

[ROGER] Some life that we’ve chosen

[MARK & ROGER] How we gonna pay How we gonna pay How we gonna pay Last year’s rent

[MARK] We light candles

[ROGER] How do you start a fire When there’s nothing to burn And it feels like something’s stuck in Your flue

[MARK] How can you generate heat When you can’t feel your feet

[MARK & ROGER] And they’re turning blue!

[MARK] You light up a mean blaze

[ROGER] With posters–

MARK And screenplays

[MARK & ROGER] How we gonna pay How we gonna pay How we gonna pay Last year’s rent

[JOANNE, on phone] Don’t screen, Maureen It’s me–Joanne Your substitute production manager Hey hey hey! Did you eat? Don’t change the subject Maureen But darling–you haven’t eaten all day

You won’t throw up You won’t throw up The digital delay Didn’t blow up, exactly There may have been one teeny tiny spark You’re not calling Mark!

[COLLINS] How do you stay on your feet When on every street It’s ‘trick or treat’ And tonight its ‘trick’ ‘Welcome back to town’ I should lie down Everything’s brown And uh-oh I feel sick

[MARK] Where is he?

[COLLINS] Getting dizzy

[MARK & ROGER] How we gonna pay How we gonna pay How we gonna pay Last year’s rent

[BENNY, on phone] Allison, baby – you sound sad I don’t believe those two After everything I’ve done

Ever since our wedding I’m dirt – they’ll see I can help them all out in the long run

Forces are gathering Forces are gathering Can’t turn away Forces are gathering

[COLLINS] Ughhhh Ughhhh Ughhhh – I can’t think Ughhhh Ughhhh Ughhhh – I need a drink

[MARK] “The music ignites the night with Passionate fire”

[JOANNE] Maureen, I’m not a theatre person

[ROGER] “The narration crackles and pops with Incendiary wit”

[JOANNE] Could never be a theatre person

[MARK] Zoom in as they burn the past to the ground

[MARK & ROGER] And feel the heat of the future’s glow

[JOANNE, on phone] Hello?

[MARK, on phone] Hello? Maureen? Your equipment won’t work? Okay, all right, I’ll go!

[MARK, 1/2 of COMPANY] How do you leave the past behind When it keep finding ways to get to your heart It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out ‘Til you’re torn apart Rent

[ROGER, 1/2 of COMPANY] How can you connect in an age Where strangers, landlords, lovers Your own blood cells betray

[COMPANY] What binds the fabric together When the raging, shifting winds of change Keep ripping away

[BENNY] Draw a line in the sand And then make a stand

[ROGER] Use your camera to spar

[MARK] Use your guitar

[COMPANY] When they act tough You call their bluff

[MARK & ROGER] We’re not gonna pay

[MARK & ROGER & 1/2 THE COMPANY] We’re not gonna pay

[MARK & ROGER & OTHER 1/2] We’re not gonna pay

[COMPANY] Last year’s rent This year’s rent Next year’s rent

Rent rent rent rent rent We’re not gonna pay rent

[MARK & ROGER] Cause everything is rent

One Song Glory

[Roger] One song Glory One song before I go Glory One song to leave behind

Find one song One last refrain Glory From the pretty boy front man Who wasted opportunity One song He had the world at his feet Glory In the eyes of a young girl A young girl Find glory beyond the cheap colored lights One song before the sun sets Glory On another empty life

Time flies Time dies Glory One blaze of glory One blaze of glory Glory Find glory the song that reigns true Truth like a blazing fire An eternal flame Find one song A song about love Glory From the soul of a young man A young man Find the one song before the virus takes hold Glory Like a sunset One song To redeem this empty life

Time flies And then no need to endure anymore Time dies

Tango: Maureen

[JOANNE, spoken] Mark?

[MARK, spoken] Hi

[JOANNE] I told her not to call you

[MARK] That’s Maureen, but can I help since I’m here

[JOANNE, spoken] I’ve hired an engineer

[MARK, spoken] Great! Well then, nice to have…

[JOANNE, spoken] Wait! She’s 3 hours late

[JOANNE] The samples won’t delay but the cable-

[MARK] There’s another way Say something, anything

[JOANNE] Test 1,2,3

[MARK] Anything but that

[JOANNE] This is weird

[MARK] It’s weird

[JOANNE] Very weird

[MARK] Fucking weird

[JOANNE] I’m so mad that I don’t know what to do Fighting with microphones Freezing down to my bones And to top it all off I’m with you

[MARK] Feel like going insane Got a fire in your brain And you’re thinking of drinking gasoline

[JOANNE] As a matter of fact

[MARK] Honey, I know this act It’s called the Tango: Maureen

The Tango: Maureen It’s a dark, dizzy, merry go round As she keeps you dangling (you’re wrong) Your heart she is mangling (it’s different with me) And you toss and you turn cause her cold eyes can burn Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound

[JOANNE] I think I know what you mean

[BOTH] The Tango: Maureen

[MARK] Has she ever pouted her lips and called you “Pookie?”

[JOANNE] Never

[MARK] Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?

[JOANNE] This is spooky

Did you swoon when she walked through the door?

[MARK] Every time, so be….cautious

[JOANNE] Did she moon over other boys?

[MARK] More than moon

[JOANNE] I’m getting nauseous

[MARK] Where’d you learn to tango?

[JOANNE] With the French ambassador’s daughter in her dorm room at Ms. Porters And you?

[MARK] With Nanette Himmelfarb, the rabbi’s daughter at the Scarsdale Jewish community center It’s hard to do this backwards

[JOANNE] You should try it in heels

[JOANNE] She cheated

[MARK] She cheated

[JOANNE] Maureen cheated

[MARK] Fucking cheated

[JOANNE] I’m defeated, I should give up right now

[MARK] Gotta look on the bright side with all of your might

[JOANNE] I’d fall for her still anyhow

[BOTH] When you’re dancing her dance You don’t stand a chance Her grip of romance makes you fall

[MARK] So you think might as well

[JOANNE] Dance a tango to hell

[BOTH] At least I’ll have tangoed at all

The Tango: Maureen Gotta dance ‘til your diva is through You pretend to believe her Cause in the end you can’t leave her But the end it will come Still you have to play dumb ‘Til you’re glum and you bum and turn blue

[MARK] Why do we love when she’s mean

[JOANNE] And she can be so obscene

[MARK, spoken] Try the mic

[JOANNE, spoken] My Maureen

[MARK, spoken] Patched!

[JOANNE, spoken] Thanks!

[MARK, spoken] You know, I feel great now!

[JOANNE, spoken] I feel lousy

[BOTH] The Tango: Maureen

La Vie Boheme

[WAITER] No, please no Not tonight, please no Mister, can’t you go? Not tonight, can’t have a scene

[ROGER] What?

[WAITER] Go, please go You — Hello, sir! — I said no Important customer

[MARK] What am I, just a blur?

[WAITER] You sit all night, you never buy!

[MARK] That’s a lie, that’s a lie! I had a tea the other day

[WAITER] You couldn’t pay

[MARK, spoken] Oh yeah…

[COLLINS] Benjamin Coffin III? Here?

[WAITER] Oh no!

[ALL] Wine and beer!

[MAUREEN] The enemy of Avenue A We’ll stay

[WAITER] Oy vey!

[COLLINS] What brings the mogul in his own mind To the Life Cafe?

[BENNY] I would like to propose a toast To Maureen’s noble try It went well

[MAUREEN] Go to Hell

[BENNY] Was the yuppie scum stomped? Not counting the homeless How many tickets weren’t comped?

[ROGER] Why did Muffy–

[BENNY] Alison

[ROGER] –miss the show?

[BENNY] There was a death in the family If you must know

[ANGEL] Who died?

[BENNY] Our Akita

[BENNY, MARK, ANGEL, COLLINS] Evita

[BENNY] Mimi, I’m surprised A bright and charming girl like you Hangs out with these slackers Who don’t adhere to deals

They make fun, yet I’m the one Attempting to do some good Or do you really want a neighborhood Where people piss on your stoop every night?

Bohemia, Bohemia’s A fallacy in your head This is Calcutta Bohemia is dead

[MARK] Dearly beloved We gather here to say our goodbyes

[COLLINS & ROGER] Dies irae, dies illa Kyrie eleison Yitgadal veyitkadash

[MARK] Here she lies No one knew her worth The late great daughter of Mother Earth On this night when we celebrate the birth In that little town of Bethlehem We raise our glass You bet your ass, to La vie Bohème

[ALL] La vie Bohème La vie Bohème La vie Bohème La vie Bohème

[MARK] To days of inspiration Playing hooky Making something out of nothing The need to express To communicate To going against the grain Going insane Going mad

To loving tension, no pension To more than one dimension To starving for attention Hating convention Hating pretension Not to mention, of course Hating dear old Mom and Dad

To riding your bike Midday past the three-piece suits To fruits To no absolutes To Absolut To choice To The Village Voice To any passing fad

To being an us, for once Instead of a them

[ALL] La vie Bohème La vie Bohème

[MAUREEN] Is the equipment in a pyramid?

[JOANNE] It is, Maureen

[MAUREEN] The mixer doesn’t have a case Don’t give me that face

[MR. GREY] Ahem

[MAUREEN] Hey, Mister She’s my sister

[WAITER] So that’s five miso soup Four seaweed salad Three soy burger dinner Two tofu dog platter And one pasta with meatless balls

[A BOY] Ew

[COLLINS] It tastes the same

[MIMI] If you close your eyes

[WAITER] And thirteen orders of fries Is that it here?

[ALL] Wine and beer!

[MIMI & ANGEL] To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou

[MAUREEN & COLLINS] Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion Creation, vacation

[MARK] Mucho masturbation

[MAUREEN & COLLINS] Compassion, to fashion, to passion When it’s new

[COLLINS] To Sontag

[ANGEL] To Sondheim

[FOUR PEOPLE] To anything taboo

[COLLINS & ROGER] Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham, and Cage

[COLLINS] Lenny Bruce

[ROGER] Langston Hughes

[MAUREEN] To the stage

[PERSON #1] To Uta

[COLLINS] To Buddha

[PERSON #4] Pablo Neruda, too

[MARK & MIMI] Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow To blow off Auntie Em

[ALL] La vie Bohème

[MAUREEN] And wipe the speakers off before you pack

[JOANNE] Yes, Maureen

[MAUREEN] Well, hurry back

(they kiss)

[MR. GREY] Sisters?

[MAUREEN] We’re close

(MAUREEN and JOANNE move to the side to reveal ANGEL and COLLINS kissing)

[ANGEL, COLLINS, MARK, MR. GREY] Brothers!

[MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & THREE OTHERS] Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men Pee-wee Herman German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa Carmina Burana

[ALL] To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy Vaclav Havel, The Sex Pistols, 8BC To no shame, never playing the Fame Game

[COLLINS] To marijuana

[ALL] To sodomy It’s between God and me To S & M

[MR. GREY] Waiter… Waiter… Waiter!

[ALL] La vie Bohème

[COLLINS, spoken] In honor of the death of bohemia, an impromtu salon will commence immediately following dinner. Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred

[ROGER, spoken] And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on high holy days

[MARK, spoken] Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, will sing Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello, which she has never studied

[BENNY] Your new boyfriend doesn’t know about us

[MIMI] There’s nothing to know

[BENNY] Don’t you think that we should discuss —

[MIMI] It was three months ago

[BENNY] He doesn’t act like he’s with you

[MIMI] We’re taking it slow

[BENNY] Where is he now?

[MIMI] He’s right — Hmm

[BENNY] Uh huh…

[MIMI] Where’d he go?

[MARK, spoken] And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song

(Roger picks up a guitar and plays)

That doesn’t remind us of “Musetta’s Waltz”

[COLLINS, spoken] Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub

[ANGEL, spoken] And Collins will recount his exploits as anarchist, including the tale of the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcasts the words:

[ALL, spoken] “Actual Reality – ACT UP – Fight AIDS!”

[BENNY] Check!!

[MIMI] Excuse me, did I do something wrong? I get invited, then ignored all night long

[ROGER] I’ve been trying, I’m not lying No one’s perfect, I’ve got baggage

[MIMI] Life’s too short, babe, time is flying I’m looking for baggage that goes with mine

[ROGER] I should tell you–

[MIMI] I’ve got baggage too

[ROGER] I should tell you–

[BOTH] Baggage Wine–

[OTHERS] –And beer!

[MIMI] AZT break

[ROGER] You?

[MIMI] Me. You?

[ROGER] Mimi

Seasons of Love

[All] 525,600 minutes 525,000 moments so dear 525,600 minutes How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife In 525,600 minutes How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love Seasons of love Seasons of love

[Joanne] 525,600 minutes 525,000 journeys to plan 525,600 minutes How do you measure the life of a woman or man?

[Collins] In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried In bridges he burned, or the way that she died

[All] It’s time now to sing out Though the story never ends Let’s celebrate, remember a year In the life of friends

[All & Joanne] Remember the love You got to, you got to remember the love Remember the love You know that love is a gift from up above Remember the love Share love, give love, spread love Measure in love Seasons of love Seasons of love Measure, measure your life in love

Take Me Or Leave Me

[MAUREEN] Every single day I walk down the street I hear people say ‘baby’s so sweet’ Ever since puberty Everybody stares at me Boys, girls, I can’t help it baby So be kind And don’t lose your mind Just remember that I’m your baby

Take me for what I am Who I was meant to be And if you give a damn Take me, baby Or leave me Take me baby or leave me

A tiger in a cage can never see the sun This diva needs her stage baby let’s have fun You are the one I choose Folks would kill to fill your shoes You love the limelight too now baby So be mine And don’t waste my time Crying oh honey bear are you still my my my baby (don’t you dare)

Take me for what I am Who I was meant to be And if you give a damn Take me baby or leave me

No way Can I be what I’m not But hey Don’t you want your girl hot? Don’t fight Don’t lose you head Cause every night who’s in your bed Who? Who’s in your bed Kiss pookie

[JOANNE] It won’t work I look before I leap I love margins and discipline I make lists in my sleep baby What’s my sin? Never quit I follow through I hate mess but I love you What to do with my impromptu baby So be wise Cause this girl satisfies You got a prize so don’t compromise You’re one lucky baby

[JOANNE] Take me for what I am Who I was meant to be And if you give a damn Take me baby or leave me [MAUREEN] Control freak Snob yet over attentive Lovable droll geek Anal retentive That’s it The straw that breaks my back I quit Unless you take it back Women, what is it about them? Can’t live With them or without them

Take me for what I am Who I was meant to be (who I was meant to be) And if you give a damn (and if you give a damn) Take me baby (oh take me, baby) Or leave me (take me or leave me) Take me, baby Or leave me

Guess I’m leaving I’m gone

Without You

[MIMI] Without you The ground thaws The rain falls The grass grows Without you The seeds root The flowers bloom The children play The stars gleam The poets dream The eagles fly Without you The earth turns The sun burns But I die Without you

Without you The breeze warms The girl smiles The cloud moves Without you The tides change The boys run The oceans crash The crowds roar The days soar The babies cry Without you The moon glows The river flows But I die Without you

[ROGER] The world revives—

[MIMI] Colors renew—

[BOTH] But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue

[MIMI] Without you Without you The hand gropes The ear hears The pulse beats

[ROGER] Without you The eyes gaze The legs walk The lungs breathe

[ROGER (MIMI)] The mind churns! (The mind churns!) The heart yearns! (The heart yearns!)

[BOTH] The tears dry Without you Life goes on But I’m gone Cause I die

[ROGER] Without you

[MIMI] Without you

[ROGER] Without you

[BOTH] Without you

Finale/Your Eyes

ALL SEVEN HOMELESS] Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are ringing How time flies When compassion dies No stockings No candy canes No gingerbread No safety net No loose change No change no

[ONE HOMELESS MAN] “Santy Claus is coming”

[ALL SEVEN HOMELESS] Cause Santy Claus ain’t coming No room at the Holiday Inn again Well, maybe next year Or — when

[MARK] December 24th, ten PM Eastern standard time I can’t believe a year went by so fast Time to see what we have time to see Turn the projector on First shot Roger With the fender guitar he just got out of hock When he sold the car That took him away and back

[ROGER] I found my song

[MARK] He found his song If he could just find Mimi

[ROGER] I tried – you know I tried

[MARK] Fade in on Mark Who’s still in the dark

[ROGER] But he’s got great footage

[MARK] Which he’s cut together

[ROGER] To screen tonight

[MARK] In honor of Benny’s wife

[ROGER] Muffy

[MARK] Alison Pulling Benny out of the East Village location

[ROGER] Then again, maybe we won’t screen it tonight

[MARK (spoken)] I wonder how Alison found out about Mimi?

[ROGER (spoken)] Maybe a little bird told her

[COLLINS] Or an angel I had a little hunch that you could use a little flow

[ROGER] Tutoring again?

[COLLINS] Negative

[MARK] Back at N.Y.U.?

[COLLINS] No, no, no I rewired the ATM at the food emporium To provide an honorarium to anyone with the code

[ROGER & MARK] The code Well…?

[COLLINS] A-N-G-E-L Yet Robin Hooding isn’t the solution The powers that be must be undermined where they dwell In a small, exclusive gourmet institution Where we overcharge the wealthy clientele

[COLLINS] Let’s open up a restaurant in Santa Fe

[MARK & ROGER] Santa Fe

[COLLINS] With a private corner banquette

[COLLINS, MARK, & ROGER] In the back

[COLLINS] We’ll make it yet, we’ll somehow get to Santa Fe

[MARK & ROGER] Santa Fe

[ROGER] But you’d miss New York before you could unpack

[COLLINS, MARK, & ROGER] Ohh

[MAUREEN] Mark! Roger! Anyone – help!

[MARK] Maureen?

[MAUREEN] It’s Mimi – I can’t get her up the stairs

[ROGER] No

[MAUREEN] She was huddled in the park in the dark And she was freezing And begged to come here

[ROGER] Over here Oh, God

[MIMI] Got a light – I know you – you’re shivering

[JOANNE] She’s been living on the street

[ROGER] We need some heat

[MIMI] I’m shivering

[MARK] We can buy some wood and something to eat

[COLLINS] I’m afraid she needs more than heat

[MIMI] I heard that

[MAUREEN] Collins will call for a doctor, honey

[MIMI] Don’t waste your money on Mimi, me, me

[COLLINS] Hello 911? I’m on hold

[MIMI] Cold…cold… would you light my candle?

[ROGER] Yes we’ll oh God – find a candle

[MIMI] I should tell you I should tell you

[ROGER] I should tell you I should tell you

[MIMI] I should tell you Benny wasn’t any

[ROGER] Shhh–I know I should tell you why I left It wasn’t cause I didn’t

[MIMI] I know I should tell you

[ROGER] I should tell you

[MIMI] I should tell you I love you

[ROGER] Who do you think you are? Leaving me alone with my guitar Hold on! There’s something you should hear It isn’t much but it took all year

#RentLive: Song Lyrics and Photographs Below is a selection of the songs from the musical "Rent," a version of which will be broadcast live on Fox tonight January 27, 2019, 8 to 11 p.m.

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