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wisteriabookss · 3 years

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My ACOSF Review (2/5 Stars)

Please respect my opinions. Not everything I say will be praiseful or nice. While I liked a lot of this book, a lot of it frustrated and bothered me.

This review contains spoilers. Read at your own risk.

This review will be more of an overall impression, and I will get more in depth about certain characters in future posts.

I eventually got into the plot of the book, but I don’t think it was as great or creative as it could’ve been. I feel like SJM recycled ideas she’s already used to create the storyline. A quest to find a magic object that can stop a war and save the world? That sentence applies to both ACOWAR and ACOSF. It’s even more disappointing when you know there were other routes the plot could’ve taken but were eventually scratched. It was the perfect set up for an Illyrian mountain setting, it was written in canon, and, unsurprisingly, SJM retconned and changed it.

The Valkyrie plot was cool, if a bit forced and out of place. Nesta barely starts training, and all of a sudden she wants to recreate a powerful band of female warriors that we’ve never heard of in the context of this world? Honestly, it feels like SJM watched Thor: Ragnarok, and was like, “Yes, that’s what I’m gonna do.” I thought Helions winged horses would come into play with that, but I guess we’ll have to see.

I thought the Blood Rite plot was gone, but we got it in the end, even though it was rushed. The most beautiful parts of the book happened during the Rite, so I’m glad we got to see those.

The ending of Briallyn was so swift I literally had to go back a page to make sure I read it right. Literally one page, and she’s killed. I expected more. I can’t say I'm surprised by how rushed her death was when I knew the Feysand trouble was approaching, and the number of pages left was getting smaller. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that SJM would save Rhys, Feyre, and their baby. Out of the entire ensemble in Kingdom of Ash, she only had the heart to kill Gavriel, who wasn’t too much of a main character. There was no way in hell she would do that to Feysand.

I’m sorry, but I do not like the name Nyx. Imagine calling someone Nyx? Did she originally have it as Nick, but just needed to put an X? My eyes were rolling so hard when I read it. Just put an ‘O’ in front of it and end our misery, though I still would’ve rolled my eyes at that name too. The name just reminds me of all the blogger moms who put X’s in their child’s names for dramatic effect that ends up looking like they can’t spell.

I also didn’t appreciate the out of touch colloquialisms in this book either. Prythian doesn’t have a name for anxiety, depression, or PTSD, but they know what lactic acid means?

The amount of sex in this book was something we had been warned to expect, and I think due to the fastness of me reading this book (finished in two sittings), it made it feel like the sex was happening every other page, which it basically was. I’m not going to be mad though because a) it was well written, b) I didn’t feel like it harmed the plot too much, and c) this is the only Nessian smut we’re going to see in canon. But that threesome line with Az. . . y'all know which one I’m talking about. . . the one with the details about certain positions. . . chile um anyways let’s move on.

I called it months ago that Emerie would either be Mor or Azriel’s love interest, and looks like it’s going to be Mor. SJM’s writing is fairly predictable, especially when it comes to romantic ships, and she couldn’t have been more obvious about the two of them. I will write about Gwyn and Azriel in Azriel’s chapter review (cause that monstrosity needs a post of its own).

Now about Nesta’s healing arc. Some of it was satisfying and others were saddening. I’m happy that Nesta was able to find purpose in her life, and not believe herself to be worthless or pathetic, but strong and powerful. I’m happy she found Gwynn and Emerie; I love their friendship. I love how they stuck by each other no matter what, and saw the good and potential in one another.

However, even by the end of the book, Nesta still thinks herself as undeserving. Of Cassian, of love. She knows she has it, and she's so grateful for it, but she still believes she is undeserving of it, that Cassian is just so much better than her. A part of learning to love and live with yourself is knowing what you deserve, so why SJM took that from her character, I don’t know. I was continuously disappointed when said she was undeserving of anything, even after she had learned and grown from her mistakes.

Maybe SJM thinks the belief of being undeserving of one's partner is romantic. I’m telling you now, it’s not. All that does is give unnecessary power to a person you believe you are undeserving of, and this leads to unequal power dynamics in a relationship. Rhys was the exact same with Feyre, so I’m guessing it's a theme.

Speaking of romantic themes, the repetition of the “your mine-im yours” line in this book was nauseating. Your going to make Nesta say the exact same thing her sister said when they had sex? Is there nothing else SJM could’ve come up with? It’s just so weird. And I swear to god if I see Elain do the same thing I’m gonna vomit.

Nesta apologized to Cassian about what she said to him on Solstice in ACOFAS as if he never called her unlovable. As if he never said he didn’t understand why her sisters love her. He never apologized for that. There was so much apologizing from Nesta to Cassian about her calling him a brute, as if Cassian didn’t say he was “shackled” to her after she clearly explained how she feared she would lose her humanity if she accepted the word mate. Not if she accepted him, but the word.

For Cassian to routinely tell Nesta to, “shut her fucking mouth,” when she used some attitude against Rhys was comical. Rhys has been bad mouthing and disrespecting Nesta this whole time, and when she shows some warranted attitude in return (not even an insult), Cassian rips into her. It doesn’t matter what he did for you, babe. Not everyone has the same experience with Rhys, so Cassian getting angry when Nesta showing anger at the way she was being treated was wrong. Her experience with him does not become invalidated just because Cassian has a good relationship with him.

There wasn’t a character arc for Cassian, which was one of the most disappointing parts of the book. He thinks of himself as inferior and undeserving as well, and by the end of the book it’s not even clear if that stance has changed. We saw him grow into the courtier persona in the meeting with Eris when Tamlin shows up, but we never see it again. I know there were instances in which he stood up for Nesta, but he also very quicky after that became silent in other moments when they were insulting her. The next book isn’t in his pov, but I’m hoping we see him become more confident in himself and make a firmer stance to protect Nesta (although I doubt he’ll need to seeing as how Rhys kisses the ground she walks on now).

Now onto Nesta’s apologies to the IC. I think Nesta apologizing to Feyre was expected, and I’m glad the sisters had that moment. I am, however, upset that there was never a moment where all the sisters sat down, and hashed it out. Talked about what they’d been through, how it affected them, and how it affected their feelings toward each other. After everything that happened between Nesta and Elain, all that hurt, you’re telling me all it took was Nesta to make Elain laugh by saying “fuck you,” and we’re good? It’s lazy writing.

Elain telling Nesta that she only cared about how her trauma affected her did not sit right with me. Nesta sat by Elain’s side for weeks when she was in the thick of her struggles, and refused to leave her alone for fear that her struggles would eat her up alive. She constantly looked for anything that could help her sister, and never left her unprotected. Nesta and Elain didn’t communicate after the war, for reasons that we now know was because of Nesta’s guilt for Elain being kidnapped. It is not abnormal when a family member has been traumatized by things that have happened to another family member. That’s expected. Ask any family who has lost a child or had a relative go through something horrible.

Elain is acting as if Nesta has only ever been concerned with herself when she’s spent her entire life concerned with Elain. I made a post long ago about how the IC only wanted Nesta to heal for their sake rather than her sake, and there’s so much more evidence for that than for Elain. Elain’s healing process was able to be understood and encouraged by the IC, whereas they had no idea what to do with Nesta. So for Elain to come at Nesta for not caring about her trauma, a second after Nesta was trying to protect her from further trauma by telling her she didn't want her seering for the Trove, was unwarranted.

Speaking about Elain looking for the Trove, what happened there? Elain had this whole speech where she said she wanted to do something and no one could stop her and then we just. . . don’t hear anything about it again? SJM had a perfect opportunity to do something powerful with Elain there, and completely threw it away.

Nesta’s apology to Amren was extreme, dramatic, and honestly, unnecessary. Amren called Nesta a “pathetic waste of life,” constantly demeaned and degraded her anytime her name was mentioned, and said she did all this because Nesta used her as a shield against her problems and the IC. Seriously? Nesta using Amren as a shield does not warrant that kind of verbal abuse. It doesn't make her a pathetic waste of life. Amren’s been alive for how long? And reacts like that to an obvious side effect of extreme trauma? No ma'am. Nesta getting on her damn knees was too much, and obviously just another moment, like a lot of moments, that SJM felt the need to make dramatic. And then having the audacity to let Amren say to Nesta that, “the struggle with the darkness is worth it,” when she was one of those people who contributed to that darkness is disgusting.

I didn’t like Rhys at all in this book. Even after he saw inside Nesta’s mind about her experience in the cauldron, he was still wary and rude with her. Literally anytime Nesta showed that she was changing, Rhys didn’t change anything about his attitude or behavior towards her. A moment of regret, and then he’s back to being arrogant ass Rhys. Him not telling Feyre about the baby was also extremely stupid. It’s her body, her life, her baby’s life, his life, and she had a right to know what was happening. Not telling her because you didn’t want her to be “upset,” is a dumb excuse. I thought you always promised to let her make her own decisions, Rhys? What happened to that promise? The one that was a hell of a lot better than the stupid bargain ya’ll made? Though Nesta told her out of anger, good on her for telling her sister. Should’ve happened way sooner. His apology to Nesta was the only one that warranted the dramatics. That is what you get on your knees for.

That whole scene about him becoming High King had me throwing the book. Amren telling Rhys that the swords were some sort of mother-mary-cauldron-blessed-hallelujah sign that he was supposed to be High King had me fuming. It’s Nesta’s power. It’s Nesta’s sword. That should have never been a discussion. Not everything is for Rhys. These people are so blinded by their love for him they can’t even see how arrogant he is. To write Nesta giving back Ataraxia made me so angry after we just had a whole moment where we find out it means inner peace. I just hope that all of this is not foreshadowing Rhys becoming High King. I know you love him Sarah, but please don’t.

All in all, this book wasn’t too bad. There were some great moments and some bad moments. I think SJM’s biggest issue in her writing is that she doesn’t outline, or at least doesn't seem to outline, not thoroughly. I feel like she uses plot devices willy nilly whenever it’s the easiest solution. There was never a moment where I said, “that was clever!” A lot of it was cool, but not clever. Not creative. She also has a tendency to write very dramatically, in staccato type sentences where everything is made into a big moment, which bugs me a lot.

I love Nesta. She’s still my fav, and will probably always be my fav. This book doesn’t change that, and as you can tell in my review, most of the issues I had weren’t with her behavior, but with the behavior of other characters. I still love Cassian, even though he made me want to rip my hair out sometimes.

Will I read the next books? Probably. I can’t seem to stay away from these characters or these books, so kudos to SJM for writing them. I know a majority of people have given this book 4 or 5 stars, but I can’t bring myself to give it more than 2/5.

#nesta #cassian #nessian #acosf #a court of silver flames #sjm #nesta archeron #nesta x cassian #cassian x nesta #feysand #feyre #feyre archeron #rhysand #elain #elain archeron #amren #sarah j maas #nesta stan #nestastan

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edwardslostalchemy · 4 years

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Thoughts on the Todoroki family members? I know you love Shoto with a burning passion (pun intended), but how would you rate the others? *Roast Endeav*r good for us*

Oh God they’re all my children (except the burning garbage bastard, fuck him). I think they’re all 10/10 would recommend, and the garbage man is -100/10. But just to break it down, let me give you my honest opinion on them:

Shouto: My precious baby bean sweet angel son. If there is anyone who doesn’t know that I adore Shouto with my entire existence, then this is the post that tells you I would die for him and want to see him happy. That’s my favorite kid. He deserves the entire galaxy, holy shit. *chef’s kiss* I see him anywhere and I scream “HE’S SO PRETTY, LET ME ADOPT HIM.” He is my main perspective when I write fics because I can easily self-project onto him. He is relatable despite he and I being super different (as you can see….I explode like a firework and I am more like Izuku who just won’t sit still the fuck), and I want to protect him from the abuse and the trauma. When he gets the flashbacks, that shit feels too real fuck fuck fuck abort abort mission. And when he bursts into flames, I ascend!!!! ANd when he helps Izuku and Tenya fight Stein holy fuck!!! Beautiful!!! Elegant!!!! When he wants to throw hands with the chief of police!!! Bring down the government you stupid bitches!!!! He is not afraid of anyone. He was raised by endeav*r and went through so much abuse he doesn’t give a fuck anymore. Nothing surprises him. He’s done with everyone’s bullshit. He is 15 and he has seen so much in his life. Good luck sneaking up on him. He’ll just glare at you and ask you if you’re done so he can roast the living fuck out of you. Him during the provisional license exam?????? I am struck through the heart. I L O V E him, he is fantastically flawed and he learns from his mistakes and has so much fucking GROWTH. And when he tells Izuku it’s okay to cry???? Man I sob. I S O B like a little BITCH. And during the remedial arc, he’s such a babe. He is so good. Fuck me up with that fire and ice usage!!! He’s just such a great character. He’s also great for expressing myself, too???? Because it’s fun and easy and I can imagine him sitting next to me and just silently judging my actions like “Cook a little faster, you’re starving yourself on purpose.” ANd I’m here like don’t call me out like that. I can’t speed up the stove cooking time. And believe me he always wins. “You can if you’re not a coward.” Fuck he’s right. I have a lot of fun with Shouto. I feel a personal connection to him even if our trauma was different. I just really fucking love Shouto. I don’t know how else to say it other than wow he is just the best character to hit me since….like Edward Elric….he’s also a red head, a fire type character, and has a resting bitch face, which are all characteristics I adore in a character because I, too have a resting bitch face, and I really like fire and red heads. I could go on forever about Shouto if you let me. I didn’t even touch on him being a pro hero. I can write a book on him.

Natsuo: Oh my God, we stan a king. We don’t get enough of him!! Horikoshi is depriving us of one of the best characters in the entire series. He called out his abusive dad on his bullshit and it was so satisfying. He’s so aggressively passive-aggressive it makes my entire being warm with love for this absolute unit of a bastard child. I hope he gets happiness!! He deserves it!!

Fuyumi: Initially, I really liked her. She was passive and looked to be nervous, but supportive of her brother. And I really like that she was concerned for Shouto!!! She really cares about her family. I resonate a lot with her because I want for my family to be closer, but we do have a few issues that we need to work on. Not as bad as hers, though. During the pro heroes arc, I had the impression she wanted for everyone to just forget about the abuse/neglect endeav*r put them all through, but now I know that isn’t the case. I absolutely love her. She is so cute and sweet and she is the boss of the Todoroki household. The men do what she wants and I think that’s amazing. We stan a queen.

Dabi/Touya: I’ve loved him since the beginning. When I saw him, I was like aight he cool. A little crazy, but he’s good. And then he used his quirk and I saw his eyes and I was like bro…..he’s Shouto’s brother……holy shit my guy. We are learning so much from so little information we are getting and I think that I have appreciated the limited food we’re fed by Horikoshi, but we been knew. I just can’t fathom the pain and suffering this baby went through as a child at the hands of endeav*r. Whatever we get shown in the future about the abuse, that’ll only add to how irredeemable endeav*r is and how valid Dabi is being a villain, even though it’s wrong to be part of the LoV. I also love fanon Touya. The interpretation of everyone is just the best gourmet food out there for my Touya loving ass.

Rei: God I cry so much for her. When Shouto goes to visit her, I break down and become a sobbing mess because it’s such a good scene. Whens he turns around and we see her face and Shouto looks like he could cry? Poetic cinema, my dudes. She deserves the entire world and happiness and God, I hope that she can live in a world where she can have some fucking PEACE because she also deserves that. I want for her to be around to watch her son become an amazing pro hero and influence him the way she did when he was little. I just want to take her in my arms and protect her from her awful husband. I can’t stress this enough, Rei was a victim and was not abusive. She is a loving and caring mother who reached her breaking point at an unfortunate time. But she is doing better and I am so happy for her.

endeav*r: Burn in hell, you fucking bastard. He doesn’t deserve redemption. He has done so much damage to his own family for YEARS. He is abusive, negligent, self-centered, and doesn’t care about them. He only cares about his stupid ass unrealistic obsessive goal, and it led him to hurt his entire family. For years. He deemed 3 of his children failures and favored his youngest as the golden child, and he didn’t even see Shouto as a person. He saw him as a tool, he called him his masterpiece as if he were a work of art or some shit, not a person with feelings and emotions and thoughts of his own. He punched a five year old in the stomach to ‘toughen him up’!!! Shouto was throwing up, crying, and curling in pain on the floor and he still wanted him to get up and fight him, a grown ass man that was like 10 times his own size. As if it weren’t enough, he bought Rei to marry her. And hit her if she got in the way of his ‘trining’. He drove her crazy. He had 3 kids before Shouto and pushed them aside. He drove one of them to villainy. How do you fuck up a child so badly that he becomes a villain??? Holy shit!!!! Fuyumi and Natsuo hate him (just because Fuyumi is a sweet angel princess that did nothing wrong doesn’t mean she doesn’t hate her father. She is just trying to salvage what little she can to meet her own happiness) because he didn’t care about them and he abused their sibling and mother in front of them. He is an asshole. He is a horrible person who took way too fucking long to realize what he was doing was wrong. He is what we say in Spanish, a maniac. Maniacal. Insane. He is the one that deserves to go to jail for all of his bullshit. He deserves all of the disrespect he gets because he’s earned it. I don’t care how amazing of a hero he is. He is a terrible human being that should burn in his own quirk. Fuck him.

#shouto todoroki #natsuo todoroki #fuyumi todoroki #touya todoroki #dabi #rei todoroki #endeavor #hearth4days #asks #God thank you for this question #I expressed so much love for them it was therapeutic

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hayleysstark · 5 years

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I NEED TO SLEEP MORE FREAKING HTTYD

lmao it’s not a big deal! i just didn’t think i could narrow it all down without a fandom to stick to, lol. thank you for asking! 💖💖💖

send me a fandom and i’ll tell you…

the first character i ever fell in love with: Gobber, actually!!! don’t get me wrong, Hiccup was my die-hard fave by the end, but Gobber made me laugh so hard in the first ten minutes, and he stuck with me all throughout the film

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: ahhhh i really like ‘em all, so i guess Astrid??? don’t get me wrong, i still like her, but in comparison to Hiccup, Toothless, Stoick, Snotlout, etc. she experienced very minimal growth. her character simply can’t stand up to the demands of the franchise without depth. real depth. she’s meant to be one of the main players, but she doesn’t feel like it at all, and it makes any scene with her feel frustrating, unnecessary, and unsatisfactory.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: Hiccstrid. don’t get me wrong, the two of them are fantastic as friends!! Astrid could still be General Hofferson, Astrid could still be the chief’s right-hand Viking, that doesn’t have to change!! Astrid could still be one of Hiccup’s biggest supporters, and Hiccup could still be there for Astrid to fall back on when she’s been strong too long. but the entire ship, as a romantic concept, is just a massive, unforgivable disservice to Hiccup’s character. dragons are his passion. dragons are his whole life. hell, we see his relationship with Astrid suffer, numerous times, because of his obsession with dragons, and it’s not played for laughs, it’s not written off as a harmless joke. he genuinely does not love Astrid as much as he loves dragons. why are we supposed to believe he does?? and why should he have to?? why did he need a romantic partner??

my ultimate favorite character™: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, babes!!!! the man loves dragons, books AND blacksmithing, i’m honestly not sure what more you want. oh, also, he’s got a tough relationship with his dad and i love that because who doesnt in this day and age

prettiest character: Toothless, of course!! his design is just so sleek and gorgeous !!! also, Hiccup from HTTYD1, but like, in terms of pure aesthetic appeal ???? red hair + green eyes + freckles is my favorite Look, just in a visual sense, not a sexual one. and we ALL know one (1) Hiccup the Third wore the Look best.

my most hated character: Valka.

my OTP: Hiccup + happiness

my NOTP: Hiccup/Toothless,,,,,,,,,,,, one,,,,,,,, is a dragon,,,,,,,,,,,, one,,,,,,,,, is a man,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, please,,,,,,,,,,, not again,,,,,,,,,,, i’m not,,,,,,,,,, strong enough,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

favorite episode: there were all those television and Netflix spin-offs, weren’t there,,,,,,,,, let me think,,,,,,,, oh Portrait of Hiccup as a Buff Man !!! Hiccup & Stoick centric episodes are,,,,,,,, how do you say,,,,,,,,, good shit,,,,,,, also Thawfest was really funny, and When Lightning Strikes was GOOD !!!! oh my god and The Zippleback Experience was hilarious, any episode where Hiccup is Stressed are just so funny. OH and Enemy of My Enemy!!! y’all have no idea how long ya girl emrys was WAITING for a Dagur redemption arc. ((spoiler, the first second i laid eyes on him in Twinsanity, i wanted him to be Hiccup’s friend and i held out hope for literal YEARS. good things come to those who wait!!!))

saddest death: Y’ALL 😭😭😭 ALREADY 😭😭😭 KNOW 😭😭😭

favorite season: can i,,,,,,, just say How To Train Your Dragon tbh ???? i honestly haven’t watched the television series in ages, but iirc, S4 of Race to the Edge was pretty good

least favorite season: mmmm can i say httyd2. can i. can i please. can i say it.

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: Valka ofc. and i don’t care for Heather. at all.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: SNOTLOUT lmao also Viggo Grimborn !!!! he was such a good villain oof what a SNAKE

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: TOOTHLESS 💖💖💖

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: mmmm i dunno actually ? i don’t typically ship “nasty” ships lmao i typically either ignore canon ships or passively ship them.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: ahh, Toothless and the Light Fury weren’t nearly as cringe as i expected lmao. oh oh hang on a hot sec can i throw in a platonic ship here too because,,,,,,,,,,, Hiccup & Mala,,,,,,,,,,,,,, think abt it, they both love dragons so fiercely, they’d just work wonderfully as partners ????? i want to see them go on an adventure to like,,,,,, help free a captured dragon or something really basic like that, i would give literally my right arm for a Hiccup & Mala friendship episode. they’re so similar, they’d just really play off each other beautifully.

thanks again for asking!! 💖💖💖

#httyd #ask #nightfuryblr

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sandwyrm · 4 years

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TL;DR melancholic rant on why I took the writing in WoW so badly this year just to get it all out and finish my fucking five stages of grief spin routine.

Gonna read more it, it’s probably gonna end up super long and unedited really so don’t feel obligated to read lol

I am one of those losers that has been with Warcraft for the whole 25 years. I watched the company grow from “check out this FULL GAME coming with this gaming magazine! it’s called Warcraft: Orcs and Humans!” to being the biggest MMO around and celebrating 25 years while the world is burning. And when I was younger, it was perfect. It had everything. Nice gameplay, cool and funny voices, decent graphics for its time, cool models, and it started having a story too. Perf!

I never got along well with my brother, but by the gods the only fond memories I have of him are centered around Warcraft. Watching him play WC1. Him teaching me to play WC2. Me playing WC3. Him leaving our abusive home to hide out in internet cafes, and my parents sending me to look for him, and us just staying in there for hours, me watching him play WC3. Fond memories of us getting our two toaster computers hooked up for LAN to play WC over it.

Then WoW came, and my brother first got us an US account - it was impossible to play cross-region back then, our lag was immense, in the thousand of ms on a good day. So then an EU account. First rolled on Sylvanas, one of the biggest servers back then, then on Twisting Nether. I would skip school just so I could play because my toaster wouldn’t run it, only my brother’s computer, so when he was at work I’d be skipping high school playing WoW (I did fine, don’t worry). I invested so much time into my vanilla account it’s surreal. I wouldn’t be shocked if I found out it has more /played than the rest of my life in the game. I met my ex on TN. I still have my vanilla account and characters on EU TN. The relationship with my ex doesn’t matter, it was abusive, toxic, I was a dumb optimist that stayed in it, doesn’t matter. He tried to get me to stop playing WoW. I still remember many instances when he went off on me for seeing me online, it’s 5 years since I broke up with him and like 8 since I stopped playing WoW with him and my heart still skips a beat when I get a whisper or hear the guild member login sound. It was that bad. He sure did his best to make me play the game only with him, “because he didn’t trust me and I would cheat on him through the game” - guys, if any of you are in this boat, please please please, put your foot down or break up. Your interests should be sacred and respected, as should be your entire person. But I digress.

Instead of breaking up, I went the mature route of buying a US license, and playing it while he was at work or I was visiting my parents. I rolled on a RP server for the first time ever, and it was probably the best decision of my life, so, gotta thank my abusive ex for that. I met many wonderful people, have many wonderful things on that account, and another 7 years of wonderful things on my EU account.

Then, the community itself. I hate it. Believe me, I hate the playerbase and fanbase of WoW with a burning passion. But at the same time, I have met amazing, wonderful, intelligent, friendly people I love and respect and wish the best for (if you’re reading this you’re part of this, yes, don’t let your brain trick you into thinking you’re a horrible person lol). This is another fun arc. I started in the cringe culture. OCs are lame, who makes OCs lol. Then I became, I make OCs and cringe culture can die. Same with characters, but it’s different there. Oh, so different.

See, I began by loving the obvious characters - Thrall, Jaina, Sylvanas, Tyrande, Malf, the works. I didn’t even like Garrosh much as his arc was unfolding - between the thing with my ex, quitting Cataclysm, changing regions and restarting, I didn’t really have a chance to dwell into him fully. He became a villain and I was all yeah okay. Iguess.jpg. I even wanted him out of the story at his peak edgelord moments because I liked Anduin more obviously. WoD was something I did not process almost at all because I was high on a cocktail of pain meds and post-partum depression and sleep deprivation. Legion was pointless bullcrap in my eyes on the main story factor, and I sort of enjoyed BFA until the whole Saurfang sucks Sylvanas fucks deal in the writer dept and fandom.

Deciding to finally read the novels I had missed out on, and reading War Crimes, was what propelled me into “hahahahahah these idiots actually acquitted Garrosh of crimes in this book? Are they for fucking real?” and actually realizing the entire arc was a complete mess, BFA is a mess, the writer dept is a mess, and suddenly, I had no footing to stand anymore. A spit in the face, and then it overlapped the Saurfang hErOiC sAcRiFiCe special edition. I sort of had a breakdown and I hid it behind “well Saurfang was hot lol now I don’t have my orc grandpa anymore” but it was deeper than that.

See, when we get into a setting, we have this selfish expectation that it will grow with us. That it will mature with us. Keep up with us. That we will always enjoy this setting, definitely not as starry eyed as we did as children, but that it will always be good. ATLA is a great example. Dragonlance is still good. Star Wars may be hammy and have tons of issues now as an adult, but it’s still good. But Warcraft was my lifeblood for 25 years. And to know that not only it did not grow with me, but it regressed beyond belief, destroyed me in a strange sense. Kind of like losing a friend, a family member. They didn’t just kill Saurfang for me, the setting died with him as far as I’m concerned. Because he was the last bastion of what interested me in it.

I am that weirdo that loves, loves, war movies and books. I devour them. That was part of my downfall, and the writers and fanbase of WoW so often make it feel like it is, somehow, MY FAULT (just like Garrosh getting backstabbed repeatedly was his fault I guess?) It feels like it’s my fault that I care about weird things like the Geneva Conventions, and the Paris Conventions, and so on and so forth. It feels like I’m the idiot for knowing basic military tactics and conventions. It feels like I’m the idiot for wanting WARcraft to, at all, even a little bit, bear any resemblance to real wars, to real military tactics, to genuine war stories with genuinely well written soldiers. In my folly and pride, I forgot it’s first and foremost, a fantasy setting, a simplistic one at that.

It insulted me these guys can’t even google what consists a war crime. It insults me to my core these guys paint the ONE (1) character who goes all “hey maybe.... weird concept but..... maybe not kill kids, or torture prisoners, or kill unarmed soldiers and civilians. Maybe show COMPASSION”, that this guy had to go. It also insults me the only other character who listened to him - Garrosh, yes - was written as the setting’s biggest fucking villain to this day, and it needed some real fucking propaganda and twisting of the OBJECTIVE narrative to get that to pass, and yet it successfully passed by so many, including myself years ago as it unfolded.

At this point, it’s insulting to see the same themes - mentally unstable or hurt people deserve to suffer and die, there is no happiness because happiness and happy endings are for toddlers, we are just edgelords jacking off to our self inserts, world isn’t fair because real world isn’t fair anyway kiddo grow up, and what the fuck is honor even we just make it up no? Also objective facts and lore? Fuck that who cares lmao.

Here’s the deal.

War stories NEED hope. I can handle watching a whole regimen be killed in brutal ways in war, because REAL war stories always leave you SOMETHING at the end that was worth the whole pain. In a REAL war story, perhaps Saurfang would have still committed suicide by proxy in front of everyone, but people around him would have actually then gone and maybe fucking went “you know what he was correct. Let’s write the Geneva Conventions.” In a REAL war story, it would have been handled so much better. And perhaps, in a REAL war story, he would have survived. With so much loss, so much pain, and yet - with HOPE. Hope, for HIMSELF, for the future. Not the generic bullshit hOpE they tried to write into him. yOu CaNt KiLL hOpE....... Yes, you can. You fucking can. By killing off the last fucking character in the setting that cared about actual military honor (not just the buzzword it is in this fandom and setting), the last fucking character that cared about tomorrow, about fighting for a better world. That’s how you kill hope. And in my eyes, they did so damn well.

Because I don’t want to sit around and be insulted for another 25 years that I’m the only idiot who expects tactics, honor, a good outcome, a hopeful ending. Because I have reached the point I hate being in this game only to hear sTrEnGtH aNd hOnOr when it literally means nothing. Because I reached a point I hate watching the double standards they apply to their precious babes while the minor characters get thrown under the bus for way less. Because I reached a point where the fandom trying to go all “but Alex, someone has to set a precedent for a war crime trial!” means jack shit when nobody ELSE has been tried for any war crimes AFTER Garrosh (which would’ve been PEACHY by the fucking way). Because I got to a point Blizzcon gave me goddamn anxiety every time someone IMed me to tell me an announcement, and I got to a point I blacklisted half the tags on tumblr because I walk in to read what my friends have been up to and some damn Discourse makes its way to my dash, only for me to find myself feeling stupid and in the wrong for liking Saurfang. Not even Garrosh, which I would admit is Problematic(tm) but goddamn Saurfang. Leave it to this setting and fandom for making me feel stupid and idiotic and in the wrong for loving the goddamn war movie protagonist.

And at the end of it all, after much debate, I don’t think I will quit the setting. Writers don’t care, about their lore, about their characters, about us. The other fans don’t care who they hurt with their edgy rhetoric, I sure as fuck didn’t when I was younger and dumber myself. I’m sure eventually the wound will close completely and I’ll dissociate again from the story and fanbase and enjoy the gameplay and my very wonderful friends. First step in that, just for me, is to not buy Shadowlands. The xpack after, perhaps, it depends. But just out of spite, I will be that one idiot who has a sub running but doesn’t give a +1 sale on Shadowlands. Just for myself.

Second step...? Who knows.... Who the hell knows what tomorrow will bring... This has indeed hurt worse than anything in my life. I have been going through the stages of grief - jokingly or seriously - since 8.2.5 now (and a whole load of 5 months of pure anger before that processing Garrosh’s arc from an objective standpoint). I cried more over the death of Saurfang (and the setting) than over my ex of 10 years leaving me as a single mom, or over all my other relationships combined. I’m not ashamed to admit that even if it’s cRiNgY. Like I said, it wasn’t just the death of one fictional character, but the death of a setting I loved and grew up with. The final acceptance that there is nothing left for me in the setting that shaped my interests, art, writing, and all that. That my interests have gone too far in other directions - optimism, actual war stories, good stories, being a mature individual, acknowledging mentally ill or divergent characters and not making excuses for author darlings. It’s a weird thing... Like the final acceptance that I have lost what could qualify as a dear friend or family member. While they are still alive and interacting with me daily. Like a breakup. But way worse. It is a pain I wish on noone honestly. But I do hope against hope, like an idiot, that other settings, other writers, future generations of writers, will do better. I know they won’t. But I’ll take my sliver of hope.

And if you read this far, I do genuinely hope the game - this game, any other interests - will keep bringing joy to you. And also, help yourself to a cookie. Thanks <3 I wish you a good day/weekend.

#salt #negativity

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naysaltysalmon · 5 years

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I’m back!

Upon my return from China, I noticed there were a lot of things weighing me down... that I can just throw the fuck out.

I could expound upon all of these in great detail, but it really would be pointless. And I wouldn’t be able to cover it all anyway. So instead I’ve decided to make a post of every icon I’ve used for my online persona over the years.

The reason for this is... at the end of the program I attended, we had an entire week of silent meditation. We weren’t allowed to talk or communicate with anyone in any way, including gestures, eye contact, or physical touch. So, during this time I had the realization that the stories I’ve been interested in have been my main source of comfort over the years. No person, place, or thing has felt more permanent to me than this.

However, permanence is an illusion, as the Buddhists say (I stayed in a Buddhist monastery in China, in case you’re wondering). My interests have changed over the years -- from the first fandoms I got obsessed with, to my interests now. I may still adore the series that I enjoyed as a child, but definitely not in the same way.

Coming home, I realized... I no longer want to attach my identity to one character or series. That’s why I’ve decided to make this post. I want to reflect on all the egos of my past, on what they have meant to me, so that I can let them go. I’ve been clinging to a folder of them for too long.

To anyone who’s been here since the very start of my blog, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is an acknowledgement of my transformation from then until now.

And so:

Breadward Elric. My first Internet icon, which I had for 2 and a half years from May 2011 -- 2013. My blog was originally entirely FMAB content, created in January of 2012, and while this format didn’t last the entire time that I had this icon, Breadward saw me through the majority of my early anime and video game obsessions. He jump-started my personality on the Internet as a fanfic author, a blogger, and an artist. I will never forget him... ;~;

Comrade Führer Tamama. I had this icon for 8 months in early 2013 -- early 2014. What can I say? Tamama’s passionate personality resonated with me, especially when he was finally able to be in control (in the episode this particular screenshot is from). Gotta get those cola oceans pronto!

Yokoso waga tainai e [Welcome to my Womb ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]. I had a phase during the summer of 2014, okay. But I still love this maniacal snake’s crusty ass, fite me. I admire KagePro immensely for the popularity and development it gave characters in song format. Of course, favorite of those characters was Kuroha, a snake whose only desire was to keep granting wishes so that he could survive. Add a touch of murderous intent and you have the complete package -- I won’t deny he appealed(appeals) to my wild side -- okay moving on.

KeroTama hugge 👀. I had this icon for about 4-6 months in 2014 before the Hunter x Hunter phase hit. God, I shipped them so hard *facepalms* It was funny though, it’s like KagePro hit me like a hurricane during this summer and then I went right back to being KeroTama trash. Amazing.

Softly Smiling Pika. I kept this icon for at least 9-10 months at the end of 2014 -- early 2015, until I found Owari no Seraph. Kurapika was definitely my bae at the start of my HxH phase -- and in many ways he still is. The current arc gives me this sense of nostalgia of being a 15-year-old again, deeply in love but too in denial to see it. Watching him as a young adult, I see how far I’ve come, how I could have ended up... since I believed myself to be most closely alike with Kurapika at the time. And now I know that’s not the case... I remember debating between many other Kurapika icons and finally choosing this one because I dearly wanted to believe I too could find my happiness in the friends around me, even if it seemed all was hopeless behind the scenes.

Yuu babe. I had this icon for 4 months in the middle of 2015, I remember. Yuichiro Hyakuya was an underappreciated dorky genius at the time, much like how Gon is in HxH now, except... Now in the series... *deep sighs* *clenches fist* I still love his piercing citrine eyes and the dynamism of this icon/pose though.

Cuties T^T (MikaYuu edition). Mmm I kept this icon for a while, something like most of 2016, at least 6-8 months, probably more like 9 or 10. Looking back, I still wonder how/why the author was a fucking coward and didn’t make MikaYuu happen. We coulda had it aaallllll...... Anyway, this is when I was writing Ebony & Ivory, my most popular fic to date, so I was reveling in the reputation I gained from that. This icon was me accepting that while I was no longer friends with my best friend from middle school to 11th grade, I would still pursue my own happiness in the perfect relationship that I saw in MikaYuu. *nods* It’s fitting.

Caught Child². I shared this and the next couple of icons with a friend that I met online, who used the Gon equivalent. I think we shared this one for about 3 months of 2016. This is when I became re-obsessed with Hunter x Hunter and realized how much I had changed between 2014 and 2016. It’s an obsession that’s more or less carried onto now, and redefined my adulthood, as I see my progression as I refer back to HxH for guidance to this day.

Content Chompy Boye. I love this icon. I kept this icon for a long time, something like 5-6 months in December 2016 -- mid-2017. The colors of the background contrast with Killua’s white hair, pale skin, and dark muscle shirt... I still used this icon on other websites until just a few days ago (when I most recently changed my icon) because I thought it looked the best backdropped against the format of other websites. I love this scene in the series, though; while (human) Palm is chattering on about her worry that Gon and Killua will be able to defeat Knuckle and Shoot in time, Killua continues to eat without a care in the world. It’s a mood I feel at least once a day, whether while eating or getting a back massage -- as if that ever happens -- 11/10.

Pizza Devil Brat. I like this icon a lot and kept it on a few websites for longer too, but with the way I edited it, the green background becomes a little too headache-inducing if you stare at it too long, so 8/10 -- okay no more out of 10 ratings, this isn’t that kind of post. I believe I kept this icon for about 3-4 months in 2017 and possibly early 2018 as well. From the same scene the previous Kurapika icon came from, this remains one of my favorite scenes in the entire series for its serious undertones over the light happiness that underlies Gon’s, Killua’s, and Kurapika’s (and Leorio’s -- but he’s not in this scene) interactions with each other throughout the series.

Grumpy Gem Gremlin. I was sharing the last three icons with that friend, including this one, with the Phos equivalent (more or less). I think we only kept it for about a month or month and a half in 2017 or beginning of 2018 before switching to the next one. Cinnabar’s desire for a purpose and closeness to others despite her poisonous nature... is definitely something I can understand and relate to.

Sad Gem Child. Damn, I think we’re all still waiting for the day Gormie realizes Aechmea’s a creepy sugar daddy and dropkicks his ass into the ocean where the Admirabilis can decompose his cloudy body like he doesn’t deserve. When will Land of the Lustrous return from the war? I’m still waiting, Ichikawa. Anyway I think we kept this icon for about a month or maybe two in 2018, not long at all.

Gay Childe™. Look, this is one of the gayest scenes in the entire series and it’s right after my favorite episode(s)/scene(s) in the entire series (so far) and it’s not even acknowledged by anyone. Just. Holy Fuck. Anyway I think I kept this icon for about 6-8 months to cap off 2018. And this is where the Big Breakup happened, where my friend decided to choose an icon that deviated from mine, but I kept this icon for a lot longer due to what this scene means to me, placed after/during my favorite episode. ;v;

And finally, BoMH (Blood on My Hands) Pika. I used this icon for 8 months from the start of 2019 until just a few days ago (approx. 8 months). This icon was originally the cover for a Kurapika fic that I started back in 2015 and ended up discontinuing because it was pretty slow-paced, and thus unpopular, which made it become difficult for me to write. But I got all the way up to 97k words before I quit, simply because of the freedom and joy I felt in creating all the OCs that I fit into Kurapika’s journey as he searched for the Kurta eyes after the Yorknew City Arc. Looking back, I’m proud of the planning and commitment that I succeeded in undertaking with this fic -- it was about halfway done by the time I stopped writing it -- and I feel I want to return to this concept one day. Even if the arcs were pretty formulaic at times and, well, boring, I wanted this icon at the start of 2019 to be a new person separate from my recent past matching icons; a representation of my ability to reconnect with my past, but to no longer be afraid of it; to be proud of it, but still recognizing the not-so-good parts, laying it to rest by no longer avoiding it.

My icon now, as I’m sure you can see... is nothing like those I’ve used thus far. I definitely have no intention of moving away from anime or my past. I simply wish to redefine who I am in relation to them, rather than being defined by them.

...I’ve discovered a lot about myself over the past 2 years since college started, more than I ever thought possible. I discovered a lot while in China, too. And I need my online persona to reflect that in every form, as I’ve done every time there was a change.

Thank you all for being with me on this journey: for following me, for reading my posts, for liking my art, for talking with me and blowing up my notifications on every platform...

I’ll be pursuing the next chapter(s) of Human, TIDU, and other works soon. ^.^

#Nay talks #idk i thought it would be cool/fun #The End of an Era #thank God #i mean the Buddha #i mean whatever #i can say that as a Religion major

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wanderingthepages · 5 years

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Again, but Better by Christine Riccio

Book Description:

Shane has been doing college all wrong. Pre-med, stellar grades, and happy parents…sounds ideal -- but Shane's made zero friends, goes home every weekend, and romance…what’s that? Her life has been dorm, dining hall, class, repeat. Time's a ticking, and she needs a change -- there's nothing like moving to a new country to really mix things up. Shane signs up for a semester abroad in London. She's going to right all her college mistakes: make friends, pursue boys, and find adventure! Easier said than done. She is soon faced with the complicated realities of living outside her bubble, and when self-doubt sneaks in, her new life starts to fall apart. Shane comes to find that, with the right amount of courage and determination one can conquer anything. Throw in some fate and a touch of magic - the possibilities are endless.

My Review:

**Spoilers**

Oh man. Wow. I have watched Christine on YouTube for years, and I really expected to like this book. I was SO excited that I got approved for an ARC. I am genuinely surprised this book is the way it is. And I'm honestly still debating bumping it down to one star.

I don't want to totally dump all over the book, because it wasn't a complete train wreck or anything. It did make me feel things, the premise was somewhat imaginative, and I think there is potential there. I just don't think this would have been published if it was submitted by someone who didn't already have a brand and huge online following. I hate to say that, because it sounds so snotty and cliche. But in this case, it's just the truth. This reads like something you'd see on Wattpad or a self published ebook with a clipart cover on Amazon. Actually, I've read better on Wattpad to be honest...

This was genuinely difficult for me to read and enjoy because it was so painfully, glaringly autobiographical. I felt so uncomfortable the whole time because it felt like reading someone's diary. Maybe none of this stuff actually happened in Christine's life (I mean, some of it definitely did-study abroad, etc.) but Shane was so obviously Christine it was jarring. The hair, the clothes, the computer, the book recs, the mannerisms, the pushing YouTube as a self promotion platform. Even the pasta/sauce thing....it was just...a lot.

On top of my weird squirmy feelings of basically reading about the author as the main character, Shane was dealing with some social anxiety or just general anxiety issues that made her head a chaotic, unnerving place to be. When I said this book made me feel things I meant that nervous jittery energy was just pouring off every page, a whole novel full of second hand embarrassment. I was so stressed and uncomfortable while reading it I really wanted to stop. But I also just wanted to finish it and be done. I was interesting enough to want to find out how everything turned out, but just barely. I was tempted to give up many times, especially toward the end after they started over. I was super not interested in watching them relive their internship again.

I had a hard time relating to or connecting with any of the characters. This was a lot like listening to a friend's stories about studying abroad...or reading their diary. I get who everyone was, but I don't actually see or care about them as characters. They're just passing players in a story who I will never know or care about. Pilot included. Although since we got to know him very slightly better, I did have some additional thoughts on him. Mainly that he's an incredible jerk and WAY not worth all this angst. He didn't redeem himself in my eyes at all. Both Shane and Pilot seemed incredibly immature and self absorbed. And what 24 year old, 26 year old? I forget how old they were when they went back, doesn't know how to balance an incredibly easy internship and a relationship? Not only doesn't know how to do it, but literally thinks it can't be done until someone tells her they are actually able to hold down a job and be married at the same time. Just...what...? I understand there is a time of distraction at the beginning of relationships where you may forget things or re-prioritze, but people can usually find their footing. It was so ridiculous that she hunted him down in New York, ended up going back in time to be with him, and then had one bad day and decided that was it. Done. And whenever Shane was done with Pilot he completely fell off her radar like a baby who knocks a block off a table and thinks the block no longer exists because the baby can't see it. But if she randomly shows back up in Pilot's life he's supposed to drop everything and reveal he's been secretly pining for her all along? Just so, so weirdly immature and selfish. Especially for people in their 20s. Shane, especially, manipulated everyone and every circumstance based on how she was feeling at the moment. And scarily didn't seem to realize she was even doing it. When Pilot wanted to go back to 2017, she convinced him to stay but when she was ready to go back she literally didn't even talk to him about it at all. So yeah, Pilot and his cheating and leading people on was also horrible and I didn't like him at all, but maybe they deserved each other after all. Also, how do you ever trust someone who will be with you while they're with someone else? So he dumps his girlfriend for you, great. What happens when you're the girlfriend and he meets someone else?

ANYWAY, writing wise, this ARC wasn't cleaned up quite as much as I'm used to, so I don't know how much they'll fix in editing. But most of the transitions were very abrupt and jarring. To the point where I'd have to take a minute to figure out where we were and what we were talking about now because last paragraph was Shane and Pilot alone in their hotel room and now we're in downtown Paris with completely different people. Or something similar. The names were trying way too hard to be unique and they were cringey. Like embarrassing to say even in my head, cringey. Pilot?? BABE??? And I don't know if Primaveri is a real last name, but I kept wanting to say Primavera. I did really crave Italian food after reading this book. The writing overall just seemed very amateur and unpolished, and not very well thought out. The magical element was not well integrated into the story or well explained so it felt very jarring and even more unrealistic than it actually was. And, although this seems nitpicky, I had a really big problem with being the top her class in medical school being like Shane's "safety", her fall back. The thing she did just because her parents wanted her to and it was no big deal. You very successfully complete 6 years of med school and get engaged somehow without having ANY feelings about it at all? How? How could you make it through that much work without having any passion or interest or drive for it whatsoever? It just seemed completely ridiculous to me.

So...two stars. I'm giving it more than one star because it did make me feel things. Although those feelings were anxious and annoyed, I was still moved in some way. And I did read it pretty quickly and want to finish it. Even if it was because I just couldn't look away. I didn't want to tear this book down. I've been watching writing updates on it for like the last year and anticipating it. But I also don't want to lie and say it's great when it's not.

2 stars

#Again but Better #Christine Riccio #Contemporary #Magical Realism #ARC #review #2 stars #spoilers #reading #books #book love #YA?#NA?

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starsocsideblog · 7 years

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did u want to hear pointlessly long rambling about ocs.....this is the post for u

okay so studying is killing me atm so i decided to use some chill time to chatter about my ocs…my kids….because lbr this blog is a mess of assorted information

stuff under read more

context? i suck at plotting and also gonna dodge some spoilers for now so all u need to know is that the story is set in a futuristic sci fi/urban fantasy sort of world (with some of those sweet dystopic elements thrown in because i love dystopias, even ya ones, especially ya ones) in which magic is a thing which a few people have (is it genetics? is it prophecy? this is why i don’t have a plot yet) but its sort of rather illegal to use and have because either a. magic users have put people in danger in the past and/or b. there is a prophecy that claims magic users will revive an old aristocracy based society in which those with magic had absolute rule and it sucked for every else so there was a revolution and honestly? no one wants that back. it sucked. mostly magic users have their magic removed and their memories wiped so they can start anew in society (although with a few restrictions for a while)

the main four kiddos are a bunch of late teens/young adults (i’m thinking about 19/20?) that have teamed up for various reasons to do some of that sweet illegal magic stuff and maybe jumpstart a prophecy that dooms the world but that last bit was an accident, and accidents happen.

first up is stella shields, who technically dates back to one of the first ocs i ever made??? (she has definitely changed a lot tho haha) stella is the self-proclaimed leader of the group given that she has good leadership qualities and is confident and brave and also very tol and swol, so there skylar

she has no memories of her childhood and is fixated on finding her birth mother, who she believes was andromeda sparks, famed/disgraced figure in prophecy. stella has no magic and believes it was removed as a child, and has been adopted by a lovely but kind of sneaky lady called tamara. tamara studies prophecy and such which is how stella even guessed that in the first place (also because they look super similar).

stella is a deconstruction of a heroic stereotype - she’s tall, strong, and despite having no magic she fights just as well as (if not better than) most of the cast. she even has the fancy heir-style backstory to boot. unfortunately, during the story…things…happen which deplete her strength and she has to take a backseat to the action, which tears her up inside but also prompts her looking at herself without a heroic lens and seeing her flaws/how much unnecessary importance she places on her status as a hero and her heritage

besides being obsessed with the idea of being a hero like her mother was, stella kind of has an ongoing identity crisis which she fills up with fantasies of finding her mother and dumping traits she thinks a hero should have in place of her almost “blank slate” personality (which she’s pretty in denial about). her character arc is about her finally recognising the way that she fills in others’ traits as her own and her growing as her own person and aaaaaaaa i love to see my baby mature

next is lina taylor, the problematic fave™ and stella’s best friend since high school. I’m not gonna lie i love lina a lot because she’s probably the first character i started applying actual flaws and consequences - as in, not 100% forgivable and pure intentioned flaws like being ‘too selfless’ and stuff.

lina is paranoid to the point where it hurts not only herself but others, and tends to lash out when feeling pretty much any negative emotion - sometimes her caution pays off, other times it does even more damage. she’s deathly scared of being betrayed and thus hates anyone knowing too much about her, lies about herself incredibly often, and will attack anyone who tries to get close to her if she feels threatened. however, she is a quick thinker and will immediately take a fall for her loved ones if she thinks one of them is in danger.

is lina a magic user? technically spoilers (eh…like its pretty early on? not a big one?) but someone dies and in her panic she brings them back to life. sort of. mostly. in that yeah, their heart beats, but they’re kind of (unknowingly) a walking corpse. her magic is of the healing variety, but explaining how magic works is kind of complicated in a character post rn….maybe later. just know that that sort of magic is a one-off and no, she can’t bring people back to life willy nilly (or even fully back to life at all)

honestly i love her character development as well because she learns that hey, she kind of is a pretty toxic person and has to work to undevelop these traits and make up for the times she screws up. it makes everyone around her happier, but it also makes her so much happier too (which i think she does deserve)

next is skylar ashe, technically good person? best known for doing his best, skylar is far and beyond the best magic user in the cast (main characters and probably even secondary characters too) probably because he’s one of the few characters that indulges in the slightly illegal hobby. skylar is well spoken and clever, and one of those people who has stupidly high aspirations at all times. he and stella have a rivalry thing going on, and they’re very jealous of each other (although skylar never notices because his self esteem is so low he can’t comprehend someone admiring him. he needs a hug)

skylar for the most part is a sweetheart (#teammum) and is a nice person to be around but can also be a bit scary given that a. he is very very manipulative when he wants to be and b. his moral code is a bit worn down in places. he tends to over-rationalise his own behaviour when guilt becomes too apparent, and can come off as cold. rip don’t piss him off mostly

skylar is sort of??? essie’s adopted brotherish person (essie’s up next!!). his magic appeared when he was a really little kiddo but his parents didn’t want to turn him because he was like 6. and thus a pair of lawful goods decided to buck the law for a while (like 10 years, which is a p good effort i guess) but that went about as well as expected and skylar eventually runs away from home, and comes under the care of essie’s mums. this is partially why skylar gets so much of his self worth from magic because despite the fact that it kind of screwed up his family it’s one of the few things he’s good at - he spent years and years practising so he could bottle it up (btw his magic is illusion and telekinetically based)

listen just give this kid some history books and a quiet room and he will be the most happy ever, and probably give you a hug and buy you lunch. his heart is in the right place most of the time and he does try to act in altruistic ways. that whole self-rationalising thing gets challenged a LOT throughout the story likethetimeheaccidentallykilledsomeonebutdontworryaboutthat and honestly? boy learns that no, you don’t need magic abilities/fun illegal hobbies 2 b kewl. u just need to love urself xx

fINALLY IS ESSIE IM LOVE HER TBH. vanessa mayford, known gay, and also part of the magic squad made up of skylar and a few other characters. a dancer by day and the voice of reason™ by night. except she’s not really that great of a voice of reason per se given that her response to “is that illegal” is “did u mean a challenge"

essie is very extroverted and a bit (a lot) of an attention seeker - if she’s there she’s mostly in it for the thrills. even if she’s not the best with reasonable advice (see above) she’s a bit of a bleeding heart and will always give someone a hug and a pep talk if they need it. on one hand she’s got her super overdramatic flair going on but also on the other she’s occasionally chill?? like she’ll do dumb stuff just for fun but is also pretty much unfazed by anything. a dragon or something could be staring her in the face and she’d just be like “can i jump high enough to kick it in the nose”

alas, as is the way with many loud people, she has pretty low self confidence and relies on the validation of others to feel like she’s accomplished anything in her life (which is one reason why she’s always trying to get people’s attention). she feels very unfulfilled with how her life is going despite still being very young, and thus is driven by the fatal american need to have a pretty good time to do reckless things just for the adrenaline rush - everything is a performance for her. she also hates conflict within her own group of friends, and sometimes brushes things under the rug if she thinks it’ll cause a problem, electing to try to deal with it herself.

essie’s magic has been a bit fiddly given that the rules change depending on the rules of magic (which tend to change from setting to setting). her magic is atm shapeshifting but the rules of it are getting a bit confusing so I’m thinking about changing it a little bit. whatever her magic is, she cares the least about magic and thus while she has a lot of raw power she can’t be bothered training to increase it (if she did, she’d probably outrank skylar power-wise).

in conclusion? essie is a babe and im love her a lot. she’s the charming, gay and flirty gal that we all need in our lives and one of my fave characters to write tbh. wins awards for best dressed, most likely to succeed, best dancer (she’s a cheerleader btw) and probably also prom queen. i would vote for her. she would probably cry but that’s okay

so those are my children i love them and now i have to go back to studying my ass off bye

#if anyone reads this: im love you #also like again. now thats theres actual concrete info on these kids here please ask stuff i might reblog some oc ask memes here #not too many tho i dont want to clog up anyone's dash #oc: essie mayford #oc: stella shields #oc: skylar aveiro #oc: lina vieira #corona's textbook

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