#he's probably straight tho

[revivisection]

unfortunately all the evidence points to me still being attracted to my friend

#personal #havent seen him in a while but i did today and. well! #i can't use any descriptive words other than attractive. hes just very attractive. to me. #i need to make him laugh because it sounds very nice #there's also some gender envy to it. i need to grow facial hair NOW!!!! #he's probably straight tho #like i havent asked him but the signs are pointing in that direction #doesn't really matter i dont even wanna date him i just have feelings #im a very silly flavour of aro #show me your pc games boy #also i watched the fly. good movie 👍 #'can we watch a normal movie for once?' no :) 80s horror only #some mild homoeroticism in showing your buddy how to make friendship bracelets maybe. hands. idk. #i need to channel this gay energy into finishing this fucking drawing i have on the stove #some of my fictional crushes are insane but when it comes to real men i just like normal average looking guys who like math and computers

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what???? #like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!'' #yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like . #sexuality is fluid... #don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me. #(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

assorted scribbles and Love Bites!!!!

#THEYRE IN MY BRAIN THEYRE IN MY BRAIN MY FUCKING GOD THEY'RE IN THERE!!!!! #i want to PUNCH & BITE SOMETHING theyre soooooooo aghh bsdkjcJKDFNJSVDSL #sorry. sorry. look away im losing my Absolute Marbles #they make me so emotional.... #having breathing problems while typing #they Affect Me and Effect Me and Everythingggggggg #literallyyyy FUCK everyone else theyre the only ones who matter #scribble salad #laughingstock #barnaby x howdy #howdy x barnaby #watch barnaby's gonna end up being the token straight- #hes bi In My Heart (until proven otherwise. probably gonna be proven otherwise) #tho man... his pokemon au design is So fruity.... WAIT WHAT EAR WAS THE EARRING IN?! hold on i need to look something up #THE LEFT EAR NOOOOO THAT'S THE STRAIGHT EAR- #again Im Just Joking! Joshing! Jesting! dont take this seriously please dear fucking god dont- #im simply a jester in this giant court. jingling my lil bells and doin a jig #fr tho when i first saw all the neighbors i looked right at barnaby and thought 'ah. thats probably the straight one huh' #BUT! WE HAVE NO CONFIRMATION EITHER WAY! #AND I AM AND ALWAYS WILL BE DELUSIONAL ABOUT LAUGHINGSTOCK! SO!! #straight barnaby can't hurt me he isn't real- #and ofc. howdy has always been so so fruity To Me <3 #idk what it is about him! hes just! i look at him and my entire brain goes 'oh that mf has four limp wrists' #AND TOGETHER THEY ARE THE FLUFFY HUSBANDS!!!! WHO WONT LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

[ashlynnlylim]

Jackass Gumball rally special 🤘🏻

#johnny knoxville #jackass #mtv jackass #gumball 3000 rally #bro probably didn't shower for six days straight #or sleep #still smash tho #he's so hot #the beard was such a choice #a great one #I love it

[ominouspuff]

just wanna say your art is PHENOMENAL! omfg your Commander Fox art has me screaming with how badass it is!

There’ll be no living with him now

Thank you so much!! This is sweet of you to reach out to say; I’m glad you’re enjoying!!

#OmPu Ask Hours #fan art #artists on tumblr #star wars fanart #commander fox #hc is that after approximately thirty-eight hours of straight sleep and crippling anxiety alternating for control of his person. #after defeating Sidious all together. #Fox came into his own as an insufferable winner #for about eighty hours until he reverted back to panicking/fight or flight because it cannot finally be over tho really can it #and see-saws for - honestly - years between the two after that probably #this got too deep I apologize #this is… so overdue and late I’m sorry #Repurposing GAR Armor AU

[satsuha]

valerio for 60min challenge

#dragalia lost #satsuhart #valerio #it was over 60mins but i wasnt really sure how long but it shouldnt have been over 90min...? #anyway the way i went from eh to AWOOGA @ valerio the moment he tied his hair needs to be studied #like i am so neutral-neg towards long haired men (women too actually but i mind it less w female chars) but the moment its in a ponytail i #i just think alt hairstyles are nice.. but i also just really... dont care for untied straight long hair i think its visually boring #anyway i totally forgot he got a spiral LOL i was checking his release date for something after drawing this and i saw it again #icr if i ever used him in endgame? but probably not bc i kinda suck at controlling stance users and its awful to let them ai... #i must have done kaleido with him tho... i did it with about half the cast #anyway did you know valerio has a little fang ? its so cute even tho it only shows up when hes being really emo about primia

[pepperpixel]

“Can't remember when we walked past the O.R. sign!

(sur-ger-y!)

Can't remember passing out with her hand in mine!

(my-my-mind!!!!)

I remember waking up with my mind repaired.

(A-OK! ^^)

I remember when I realized, she wasn't there...”

Amnesia was her name….. is. so. horrifically. sadly fitting for these two in literally every single line. And I’m gonna NEED ALL OF U GUYS TO GO LISTEN TO IT NOW OK… THIS ISNT A DRILL GO GO GO GO!!!

Anyway… uhh. the fact Betty “blessed” this guy to like. An eternally long lifespan w THIS FUCKED UP OF A MENTAL STATE IS SO SCREWED UP GHGH- Like poor Simon god damn…! u kno he’d rather just keep on not sorting out his baggage and trauma forever too cuz it’d be too complicated… too much… force him to admit things about himself and about BETTY that he really really doesn’t want to… better to just leave it all unexamined.. pack it all into lil boxes so he can just try to ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist… HE GOTTA LIVE FOREVER W IT THO… *ME BANGING ON SIMONS DOOR AT 3 IN THE MORNING*: “SIMON U GOTTA ACCEPT URSELF!!!! LOVE URSELF!!!! ACKNOWLEDGE N ACCEPT EVEN THE “BAD” PARTS OF URSELF!!!! SIMON PLEASE!!!!! SIMON EVEN PPL WHO LOVE YOU AND WHO YOU LOVE CAN HURT YOU!!!! ACKNOWLEDGE IT!!! ACKNOWLEDGE THE HURT AND ACKNOWLEDGE UR FEELINGS!!!! AND URSELF!!!!! SIMON!!!!” anyway… gGHGH YEA, SRRY. SIMON PETRIKOVS MENTAL ILLNESSES MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IM GONNA EXPLODE. ANYWAY HAVE SOME ART. W a bunch of diff versions cuz I’m indecisive!

#adventure time #simon petrikov #betty grof #petrigrof #doodles #lol at tagging this petrigroff but nah I stand by it man!!!! #being a petrigroff shipper is understanding that I’m actually canon these two need som fuckin COUPLES COUNSELING. OR TO JUST BREAKUP. #like….. gGHG I LOVE BETTY BUT ALSO. ALSO… also…. these 2 have some issues… seperate and together issues. lmao #ANYWAY THO. ANYWAY THO. IM SO FUCKING EXCITED. I SAW THE NEW TRAILER. IM GONNA DIE. MY WIFE I GOT TO SEE MY WIFE #AND WERE ACTUSLLY GONNA GET SIMON MENTAL STATE SHIT YEAHHHHH!!!! #HELL FUCKING YEAH!!!!!!!!! #FIONNA AND CAKE DO NOT LET THIS NERD KEEP RUNNING AWAY FROM HIS FEELINGS FUCKING GET HIS ASS!!! MAKE HIM FACE IT AND WORK THRU IT!!! #pls!!!! if even Simon Petrikovs can start working thru his mental traumas there might be hope for all of us ghghg #uh but anyway yeah. AMBESIA IS HER NAME IS SO THEM.. STRAIGHT UP I FELT THE URGE TO EVEN LIKE. make an animatic for it!! it was so fitting! #im not gonna make an animatic cuz I don’t feel like it but!!! I saw it… I saw the animatic in my brain ghghg- #there’s a lot of typos in these tags but. just do me a favor… and pretend like there aren’t lol #fionna and cake #am I…. possibly…. projecting more mental trauma and issues on Simon. then he ACTUALLY has… #probably. yes. but!!!! he def still DOES have issues. I feel like I’m probably exaggerating the Betty ones cuz he #never really outright expresses feeling hurt by her. but also I feel like!!!! he’s the sorta guy!!! WHO WOULDNT EXPRESS THAT! #cuz he loves her!!!!! sO MUCH!! and she did so much and pushed herself so far and was trying so hard… and also she’s fucking basically d #dead now!!!! it’d be like. disrespectful of her memory…. to feel that. also what’s even the point of expressing that pain she’s gone!!!!! #she did all of that.. for him… how could he…. just. spit in the face of that #im writing those last few tags in the he perspective of simons mind btw… the things he tells himself…. #anyway gGHG MAYBE I AM PROBABLY PROJECTING MORE ISSUES ON HIM THEN HE ACTUALLY HAS BUT WHO CARES MAN #I’m allowed ghghgh- #I wanna draw art of Simon having a traumatic flashback to the ‘Dont worry ull be obliterated soon!’ line and hating himself for it #ice king isn’t him!!! it isn’t him! it’s not him!!! why does that hurt it shouldn’t hurt she wasn’t talking to HIM #BUT SHE WAS #SHE WAS… she didn’t think of the ice king as Simon but he IS… HE IS AND JUST. URGHGH

[james-winston]

omfg I am so behind on this (and yes I’ve only become aware of it because Nicholas Galitzine offof rwarb is in it) but they’re making a fucking Duke of Buckingham series!!!

And you’re all sitting there like “who??” well let me tell you about this absolute fuck.

George Villiers, Duke of Buckingham was the favourite of King James VI&I and by favourite I do mean it in the gayest of ways. (He started life as Sir George, the shittest of titles, and fucked his way to a Dukedom.)

Long story short, here’s a list of things I need to see in this series or I will SUE:

George slut dropping his way into James’s bed. (I mean, he danced for him, but whatever the 17th century equivalent to slut dropping was you can bet George was doing it.)

The exasperation of James’s advisors when he picks yet another beautiful young man to fuck and give totally unreasonable amounts of money and power to.

Even funnier if they show them actively helping George overthrow James’s old favourite before realising “oh shit this one’s worse.”

George failing consistently at every job he was given. (Yes I know he didn’t actually but where’s the comedy in competency? Give me himbo George or give me death.)

Parliament calling James to task on George being a fucking useless nuisance and James standing up in front of parliament and literally saying, “You may be sure that I love the Earl of Buckingham more than anyone else, and more than you who are here assembled. I wish to speak in my own behalf, and not to have it thought to be a defect, for Jesus Christ did the same, and therefore I cannot be blamed. Christ had his John, and I have my George.” (Huge points for throwing Jesus under the gay bus too.)

James practically arranging George’s marriage for him and then riding his horse around the park crying because George, shock, got married.

What better be the dirtiest sex scenes ever broadcast on British television that lead to the “master and dog” letter.

The consistent drama queenery from James, e.g:

I refuse to tag this as a spoiler because it happened 400 years ago: George smothering James and then playing the heartbroken widow to his son. (Historically debated, if anyone wants details shoot me an ask.)

George getting stabbed to death in what was probably the justified climax of him being the most irritating man alive.

George’s assassin getting the warmest send off ever given by any crowd at a public execution cause the people hated George so fucking much.

#Nicholas Galitzine #literally zero interest in historical accuracy beyond these points #I do think the series is going to focus on George being evil tho #which is a shame #cause he was James’s favourite for 10 years and I genuinely think there was affection from George #I also hope they don’t try and hammer home that he was totally straight #I know there’s a chance he was but I still don’t find it very likely at all #lots of straight men at court didn’t fuck the king for power #also to be clear I love George and will be defending him to the death #but he was also useless and stupid and possibly a murderer #but also he’s my baby :) so :) #and he died 400 years ago so he’s essentially a fictional character and therefore he’s allowed to be my problematic fave #AND HE PROBABLY DIDNT KILL JAMES ANYWAY #George and Mary #History #George Villiers #James I #LGBT History #Gay History

[puhpandas]

if Gregory were in pokemon he would have a Z-ring

#FAZWATCH #he would also choose litten as his starter if we're talking about alola still #in universe his canon self would be from unova since thats pokemon america #so his starter would actually probably be from unova #and id say he'd choose oshowatt #EVAN would be from galar #cuz britidh #and that works SO PERFECT because sobble is the PERFECT POKEMON for him!!! #if youve watched pokemon journeys sobble has a rlly good pokemon arc throughout evolution that could fit evan a lot #if we're just talking about straight up starters no reigonal divide for gregory #honestly im torn between scorbunny litten and froakie #scorbunny is so good for him tho... #but also i think hed prefer big pokemon like charizard or inciniroar #BUT. i think he'd have an ursaring because duh freddy #and thatd be his big pokemon hes closest to #or ursaluna #pandas.txt #gregory #pandas talks #Evan #thoughts

[jtl-fics]

For Want of a Nail

New Kings If Neil hadn't gone to Hernandez's house? (@stabbyfoxandrew)

New Kings AU | Unusual Fic Asks - Closed

Andrew felt like he was going to crawl out of his skin. It'd been a month and a half since anyone had heard anything from Neil Josten. Neil Josten may not even exist anymore but everyone was telling him to be calm, telling him to wait.

He snapped at the upperclassmen who did not matter and drew his knives more than once just to make them shut the fuck up. He wants to leave, wants to head out and start tracking down clues to find Neil and bring him back.

If he has to go to jail then he'll go to jail. It's never scared him before and it's not about to scare him now. He is more than happy to be Neil's trophy husband this time around when he gets out.

He makes plans to leave in the dead of night. He writes letters to Aaron, Kevin, Nicky, Wymack, and Betsy to explain himself but in the end that's the only kindness he can give them.

Neil had long been the highest thing on his totem poll. He has no idea what it would take to have someone come above Neil or to have Neil's importance to him wane.

He has plans to lock himself in a storage unit he's rented that is temperature controlled and remote so no one will hear him screaming for his medication. He can't be going through withdrawal on the meds.

He leaves the Tower in the dead of night and makes his way over to his GS having already started to come off of his medication slightly so that he'd be sober enough to drive out of town.

"Where are you going? It's not safe for you to drive." comes a voice and oh great he's hallucinating Neil. It was something he'd often done back at East Haven, his perfect pipedream always just out of reach.

"I'm going to go get you. I'm sober for the next hour before the effects start to hit." he returns with a roll of his eyes.

"Get me?" his hallucination asks. Andrew doesn't want to turn and look into Neil's young face. He's not sure he can handle seeing it.

"You ran off before Wymack, Kevin, and I could get you." Andrew scrubs a hand through his hair wondering why he's talking to this figment of his withdrawal. Except he knows why and that reason why is that he misses Neil desperately.

"Andrew...are you..." he hears the figment of his imagination trail off and then footsteps and then-

His hallucinations have never been able to actually touch him.

He whips around and there standing in the parking lot at 3 AM is a young and exhausted looking Neil Josten. Andrew's hands shoot up to cup Neil's face and he is alive and warm under his fingertips.

"Drew, it's you." Neil says with a watery smile and that was all he managed to get out before he pitched forward and utterly collapsed into Andrew's arms.

"Neil?" Andrew questions before realizing that Neil had truly lost consciousness, he can feel Neil's forehead burning against his shoulder where it lay"Neil!" he exclaims and gets a proper arm around Neil before he falls to the ground. He manages to get the passenger door to the GS open and puts Neil inside before rushing around to the other side.

Abby's old address in mind he twisted the key and started her up. Stomach churning as he broke speed limits and ran lights.

#New Kings AU #For Want of a Nail #In this Neil decided to just go straight to the Foxes #He was kind of desperate and couldn't wait it out in AZ #He's still pretty banged up tho #The cross country trip got him pretty sick from an infected wound #He'll be okay but he needs a lot of TLC #Which in this universe he would absolutely lovingly get from Andrew #It's probably about a week before Neil's coherent enough to explain it all #AFTG #AFTG AU #Andreil #Unusual Fic Asks

[marley-manson]

Huh, just saw that not everyone takes "Captain Sodom and Captain Gomorrah. He's Gomorrah," as a gay joke. Not adding this to the post going around because I don't want to come across as argumentative or rude, but seeing it does compel me to overexplain why I think it's unambiguously a gay joke lol.

"Captain Sodom and Captain Gomorrah," would be a generic joke about debauchery imo. "He's Gomorrah," is what makes it a joke about gay sex specifically, by pointedly referencing sodomy. Because while technically sodomy refers to a lot of things, based on my own experience and 20th century media consumption I feel like I can pretty confidentally say that in public consciousness, at least in US media, it's functionally a synonym for gay anal.

Like I'm no expert here so maybe I'm wrong and biased in my media consumption and experiences, but if I saw someone on TV using the word sodomy to refer to het sex acts without it being in the context of like, an informative conversation about how sodomy doesn't just refer to gay sex, or like, in the context of a deep south bible thumper type railing against all non-piv sex in antiquated terms, I would be very surprised. I'd at least expect a woman to be specified if it's meant to be het pia, and idt I've ever seen it used as a synonym for blowjobs except in real life 'fun fact' discussions lol. (Also fun fact, cunnilingus is not legally sodomy.)

"He's Gomorrah," also just doesn't function as a joke if it's just referring to general heterosexual debauchery, the whole point of that line is to make the reference to sodomy in particular explicit, in differentiation from Trapper. And in this context Hawkeye isn't calling himself an enjoyer of receiving blowjobs or fucking women in the ass in comparison to Trapper who only has good christian piv sex, he's differentiating himself from Trapper in terms of his effeminacy, something he does often in comedic contexts.

And my impression is that the point of the gay sex jokes in general isn't "Hawkeye is bi representation" or "getting gay references past the censors sneakily," it's "Hawkeye making jokes about being unmasculine which includes making jokes about getting fucked in the ass in an exaggeration of his gender expression, which is not actually all that out there in the 70s counter-culture context."

#i'm sorry but i am constantly fighting the urge to explain (my read of) every joke on mash so i'll take any excuse to give in lol #i'm again reminded of the character 'marx marvelous' from a tom robbins book (i wanna say another roadside attraction?) #where his name is explained as something he adopted as the two words most likely to piss off conservative squares #marx from karl marx and marvelous as the number one word a red-blooded heterosexual man would never say bc it's too camp #this character was also straight and (based on what i remember from tom robbins books) probably loved eating pussy #that's the kind of dude hawkeye is to the average viewer in the 70s imo lol (tho maybe not quite as in your face) #they could very well hate actual gay guys but they'll happily use the idea of them as a symbol of nonconformity #marley on mash #hawkeye mash #mash gen #mash gs

[wereh0gz]

Random headcanon

Sonic as werehog suffers from back pain and is generally more comfortable moving on all fours instead of walking on two legs because the transformation is more suited for quadrupedal movement and not bipedal

That's why he looks like he's slouching all the time he physically cannot stand up fully straight without being constantly uncomfortable

#ramblings #this by extention means ruby has chronic back pain from forcing themself to stand up straight to look more normal #even though it's far more confortable to walk and run on all fours #puts a lot of pressure on their back #... i wonder if this could also apply to furry characters #especially those with digitigrade legs #hm #anyways back to sonic #everyone tells him his posture sucks but he can't help it #if anything it's better for his body to not stand up straight so he doesn't put as much strain on his spine #he could probably use a massage #or a back brace maybe? but those are designed for humans so that might not work well for him #maybe tails could design one specifically for him #knowing him he wouldn't wear it much tho #with his distaste for wearing clothes and all #well he mostly just doesn't like wearing pants so he might still wear it #hm now i'm thinking of maybe designing one for him #maybe i'll doodle him wearing one in between the other stuff i said i'd draw

[sysig]

Reading moodboard #84430940 (Patreon)

#Doodles #I wonder what this is in reference to lol - could be anything really! #Bit funny actually - I was reading something else in overlap at the time - a fic from another fandom though it ended up not being for me #Different authors just speak to different people! It was fun to come back to something familiar and realize Just how much I appreciate it ah #Novel and familiar! My very favourite <3 And of course it was a wonderful experience on top of that hehe ♪♫ #Numbers lol - I really have done way too much age headcanon math pfft #I just love timelines! And even if the hints aren't exact they /are/ hints and I'm going to use them!! #The numbers that are established are such fun markers - and using characterization as hints towards how many years have passed! Ah! ♪ #Like how it's definitely possible that Max took a two year but considering his family he was probably pushed to do a four year #There's no confirmation either way but it's just so fun to consider what they'd do based on how they're written! #These are the kind of written math problems I enjoy hehe #I was being a bit self-deprecating for that doodle actually tho lol - art mimics life and all that pfft #Also confirmation of him being a Lit Major ❤️💕💖💞💗 Small details give me big love you must understand this lol #As evidenced lol ♪ Adding to my playlist definitely didn't help it very strongly upgraded to Big Love for like a week straight lol #Terrible ♪ Couldn't stand it <3 Genuinely painful ♫ #Lol - ''finding'' more - it's what had my blood on fire! I'm so grateful for mirrors #Anyone who's been following me for a while knows I have this whole thing about Legacy and what you leave behind and the internet in general #That the internet is forever except when it's not - that plenty of things get deleted or lost etc. etc. and it makes me very sad :( #So seeing that there was an in-built preservation - it only saved Some things but anything saved is precious!! It made me very happy <3 #And then finishing off 💔💕 Beautifully heartbreaking ah #Even skim-reading later made me cry again! It's deeply affecting hhh #Another experience I'm so happy to be able to have ♥ Another tally on the wall haha <3

[min-kit]

if Tim decides he wants to keep Eddie straight & give him a female love interest they really need to do better on selling us the woman & honestly i have the PERFECT idea for it.

and it starts with making Ravi a main character in season 8.

#im not tagging this #dont want ppl telling me eddie isnt straight #right now he is okay & at the very least we deserve a good love interest #im so serious tho #make ravi a main character in s8 #give him a cousin who works either with Athena or Maddie #probably Maddie cuz who wants more cops? #so she works at dispatch with maddie & she's a single mom #she's now connected to both maddie & ravi #the 118 on 2 fronts #this is really all i have but damn at least its more interesting than Marisol the nun

[hoofpeet]

If hisuian zoroarks are the vengeful spirits of dead Pokémon, how did Zemmet die? Or do you think that hisuian zoruas life cycles can be more complicated than that?

Either way.. baby Zemmet 🥺?

Even if it's not canon compliant I imagine hisuian zoroarks to be a subspecies of zoroark that stemmed from an original generation of dead zoroarks, since the existence of hisuian zoruas seems to imply that they're naturally born that way ? So in other words I think Zemmet has always been a ghost zoroark. It would b kinda cool/fucked up if h zoroarks purposefully left their puppies outside to die of exposure or something to make them ghosts

#mailbox #B YEAH . I have also been having many thoughts about this too #<- i think h zoroarks very much feel like an issue of generational trauma (?) if that makes sense #like . first generation of zoroarks that actually die HATE humans and end up passing that down to the next (naturally born) generation #and so on in that manner #bc it's probably pretty rough on the highlands. i'd imagine h zoroarks can't really afford to be 'nice' #<-so zemmet's very very bitter after a lifetime of scraping by out in the snow #so at some point ingo just . straight up starts petting zemmet and tells him that he's safe in his den #and zem [literally never had human contact b4] instantly comes apart and has o desperately act like he's not crying #v much a wolf vs lapdog thing . oh it would b so peaceful to relax and be loved by a nice human #later (in unova) he's hanging out with his new sister watching plum play around in the grass #and is suddenly struck by the realization that his species is effectively extinct #and like. he values strength and resilience so much but maybe ? #it's good that a species made out of hatred & cruelty is extinct #and watching a baby zorua play around like . ALIVE and happy and actually safe w/ her family #plum has a chance at life that zemmet never rlly got‚ being born a h zoroark #and even tho he's had to pride himself on his ability to 'survive' he has to decide to not pass that on to plum #and protect her so she can be safe and happy like he never really got to be in hisui #if that makes sense ? #<- actually no this is incomprehensible . but neway brainworms

[yellowloid]

hello! I saw you made a post on the analysis of the ultracheese and honestly it was such an intriguing read! I read that that you believed golden trunks was an even more meaningful song when related to miles and alex and I would really really rEALLY love to hear what you have to say about golden trunks because honestly its one of my favorite songs

hello and thank you!!! always happy to hear people enjoy my song theories ❤️

golden trunks is one of my favourites too and i was d y i n g to analyse it. it's just such a unique song sound and lyric-wise, definitely in my top three in tbhc.

(as always, disclaimer: this is just a fan theory and everything i'm gonna say is 100% subjective. i'm not claiming it's the Real Meaning TM of the song bc 1) songs can have multiple meanings depending on the lens that is used to analyse them and 2) we'll never actually know what alex meant by writing it. we only know it's the closest thing to a love song in the album, featuring a conversation between him and someone he's falling for. nothing else is set in stone.)

but let's get to the actual analysis, shall we?

to me, this song is about miles. 100% about miles. the person he's talking to, and the person he's falling (or has already fallen) for is miles. there are theories going around on the internet saying it's about taylor or even louise, which are both??? kinda senseless theories??? first let's talk about taylor: why would he create that same sense of secrecy (that is present in songs such as the ultracheese) in this one, if it were a song about his (at the time) girlfriend? why would he add that 'we're friends but i'm falling for you' vibe (that we can find in diwk too) in a song about his current partner? why would he admit to fantasising about that person (keyword: admit, like it took him some time to come to terms with it) in a song about his so of literal years? tbh it doesn't make any sense to me.

and then louise... a bit more plausible since it would at least explain the secrecy if he was cheating, but then again, still doesn't really make sense. what's with the wrestling references. i don't think she's a wrestling fan, and if she is, she's never publicly shown she is. not that she needs to, ofc, but... you know. this theory usually comes from twitter fans who can't even bear the idea of it being about miles, because god forbid someone ever mentions the idea of alex and miles being a thing!!!! so really considering the source of this "theory" is twitter i wouldn't give it much more thought lmao

so now onto the lyrics...

"last night when my psyche's / subcommittee sang to me in its scary voice / you slowly dropped your eyelids / when true love takes a grip, it leaves you without a choice"

this is such an interesting and powerful opening verse to a song. it's so cryptic, and at the same time so blunt. he admits to being a victim of night-time overthinking, that moment when you keep tossing and turning in bed and sleep just won't come to you, dooming you to unwanted thoughts, realisations and fears coming together to haunt you through the night. he's scared of those voices in his head, whispering all those truths to him that he doesn't even want to consider; his mind is being flooded by snaps of the person he's maybe trying not to think too much about, but at the same time he knows it's a losing game: there's no choice to be made, no power held over the images that keep shooting through his mind. he also seems to realise something about the person in question: the possibility of them being his "true love" (or, similarly, him being this person's "true love", hence them admitting to fantasising about him). once again, this is extremely important because he rarely ever refers to love so directly in his songs, and i don't think it's a coincidence he does it here as well as in the ultracheese. having no choice could also refer to him finally coming to the realisation that - despite the fact that he's still so scared of the whole situation - he can't run away anymore. there's no choice, he has to acknowledge the facts because they're all there, hiding in plain sight. there's no way he can escape the truth, and that terrifies him. but he does acknowledge it, as he sings:

"and in response to what you whispered in my ear / i must admit, sometimes i fantasise about you too"

i can just so easily imagine him and miles sitting entirely too close to each other in some booth at a bar, the unspoken boundaries of friendship getting blurred as too much alcohol gets in the way, and miles leaning closer and closer to him just to whisper in his ear that he sometimes fantasises about him in ways friends shouldn't. or as they rehearse their songs right before/during the eycte tour, which always reminds me of this quote:

MK: I remember, one time Alex came up to me and said "I want to see how you spit, while singing "sick puppy" in Bad Habits. I called him a madman afterwards.

AT: Yeah...

MK: But he was right. No one else would say something like that to me, It was beautiful.

AT: You see, Kasia, I just tell Miles about my fantasies, and he tries to fulfill them, even when they are very kinky, like in that case.

(full interview here)

or even during concerts, since we all know how much they loved whispering god-knows-what to each other during song breaks, then proceeding to giggle and flirt with each other like they weren't being watched by an entire crowd sksldklsh. they seemed to be self-aware of this, as they also used to take the piss and play with interviewers when asked about it:

Interviewer: What sort of things do you say to eachother on stage?

Alex: Dark, twisted and very private things.

Miles: You'd think we were freaks if you knew some of the things we talk about on stage. We talk about weird things that don't really make sense to anyone else.

(i think this is from nme, i haven't been able to find the original interview but you can read something more here)

however, imo alex admitting to fantasising about the other person in this song makes his confession so heartbreaking. a while ago me and @jewellersstunts were talking about the fact that it's just so easy to imagine miles whispering something like that to him, maybe during a concert, and him being taken by surprise + generally bad at expressing his emotions through spoken words + him being insecure about their situationship and his identity and just... not saying anything in reply. maybe brushing it off as a joke, when in reality they both knew it wasn't. now, following the fandom theory of them still being friends but having some kind of falling out after the eycte era due to the unclear nature of their relationship - miles getting serious and alex chickening out -, let's fast forward to a couple of years after the tour. when things aren't the same anymore and alex is there, all alone by himself, dwelling on the past, on what once was and what could have been... and him finally finding the courage to give miles a reply through the veil of song, because that's the only way he could ever really be able to express his emotions in some kind of neat fashion (+ i think a similar development was also featured in one of WeirdChick333's fics which as we all know are the canon milex bible so there's that)

i also can't help but think of miles' own album when i think of this song. whereas golden trunks is filled with regret and it's like saying "i didn't give you a reply when you said it, but i'm saying it now. it probably doesn't change anything though, and i'll have to live with that for the rest of my life", coup de grace as an album (and may i say, ESPECIALLY wrong side of life which is my absolute favourite miles song ever) is like saying "yeah you didn't say anything then. you broke my heart and and you keep breaking it every single day, we fought so much and nothing is the same anymore, but i don't care because i want you and you want me, so can we please, please try again?". i think that's really telling of their personalities. tbhc as a whole has a very pessimistic vibe, even though it rarely ever addresses private matters that directly (with golden trunks and the ultracheese being the most direct songs, but still being incredibly cryptic and mysterious). cdg is sad and angry and heartbroken about a nasty breakup, but in general i'd say it still holds some kind of hope for that relationship to be salvageable.

but i'm digressing. let's keep going:

"the leader of the free world / reminds you of a wrestler wearing tight golden trunks / he's got himself a theme tune / they play it for him as he makes his way to the ring"

the reference to wrestling (and possibly to something that actually happened) could be a way for alex to make it clear, even to miles himself, that this song is about him. if it were indeed something that actually happened (them watching a wrestling match or the news, and miles pointing out trump's similarity with that wrestler), then when miles listened to the song - if he still had any doubts - it'd be irrevocably clear to him that alex was talking to him. it'd be some kind of secret code, an inside joke between them turned into a way for alex to make sure miles knew. (also lmao at the twitter fans going to great lengths to prove this verse is about taylor or louise when they've never expressed any interest in wrestling while miles has been a big fan for ages. @ amtwitter bffr)

now, i don't remember if he's referring to an actual wrestler that wore golden trunks as part of his costume and that reminded miles of trump, but the mention of wrestlers in general also reminds me of a very interesting addition by @reconciledviolence729 to my ultracheese analysis. she said:

"For some reason I got fixated on the line: “And dress like a fictional character / From a place they called America / In the golden age.” I can’t help but think how Miles dressed as Ric Flair, who was a significant persona during the “golden era” of American professional wrestling (which is often considered at least somewhat faked aka fictional)."

going back to golden trunks, this verse also introduces some kind of indirect commentary on politics, which is present in other songs from the album and which continues in the next lines:

"in the daytime / bendable figures with a fresh new pack of lies / summat else to publicise / i'm sure you've heard about enough"

(quick aside: "bendable figures" could also be interpreted as a very suggestive image. not gonna elaborate any further on that)

in this reddit theory it is suggested that this mirrors the "breaking news, they take the truth and make it and fluid" verse from american sports, and i think that's a very interesting parallel. however, this part also introduces a contrast to the opening line (last night / in the daytime) which hits us with a sinister dilemma. we like to think that the (often pessimistic) conclusions about our life that we come to at night aren't to be trusted. nighttime does that, it tends to fuck with our rationality by making everything seem scarier, more threatening and disheartening than it usually is. our minds tend to lie to us at night. but here he says that the "fresh new pack of lies" comes during daytime. so what's more trustworthy, night or day? the scary, truthful voices of night or the blatant lies of day? he doesn't give any clear answer to this question. he just leaves us with the doubt, instead bringing the song to a close with newly-found courage:

"so in response to what you whispered in my ear / i'll be upfront, sometimes i fantasise about you too"

the difference with the previous "i fantasise about you too" line is obviously the use of "i'll be upfront" instead of "i must admit" - which is such a slight change, but it's still so important. the use of 'must' and 'admit' imply a certain degree of forceful admission. he finds he can't hide it anymore, and has to at least take notice of it in some way. he doesn't necessarily want to admit it, because he wishes he could still keep that confession to himself. on the other hand, saying "i'll be upfront" is so powerful on his part. he not only acknowledges the feeling, but he takes a big breath and finally comes forward, announcing it without any second thoughts. he finally finds the right way to actually reply, even if it took him so long to do it. and yes, maybe it won't change anything, but this song is a way for him to send out a message, and the fact that he managed to write it and include it in the album (despite never being able to play it live - which makes it even more sus) is a testament to how much of his heart he put into it, how much deep emotion and reflection and courage it took him to be able to compose it and sing it. and that's exactly what makes it so incredibly special.

#i love this song so much you don't understand #the fact that they never debuted it is possibly one of the sussiest things alex ever did but you know what? i get why he refused to do it #it was too personal my guy would've probably cried on stage if he did play it #perfect sense is definitely its equivalent in the car. there's no way they're gonna play it anytime soon #(watch them play it at the next show now that i said this) #(no but please play it. play perfect sense AND golden trunks. i would straight up cry throw up and die but at least i'd die happy) #also sorry at this point you know how long my posts get lmao #thanks for asking for this analysis tho it was a pleasure to write it 💖 #milex #my theories