#he'd started to see it as: me and ian against the world | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theboysfromaustin · 1 year

Text

"The haircut"

April 15, 2006

Kazuo leaned on the car window, watching rain spatter against it. The radio played softly as Ian navigated the streets, the skies outside grey and cloudy. Kazuo glanced at Ian, watching him for a moment, before flickering back to the outside world. He was nervous. He was nervous a lot these days. Depressed, too. Ian did his best to help him, as did Anders and Maureen.

For the first time in a long time, he lacked confidence.

That scared him. He'd built up a personality based on that confidence, and only started showing vulnerability once he and Ian had gotten together. The car came to a stop, and he felt Ian touch his bandaged shoulder gently. "I…guess I'm ready…" "I'll always be by your side." Kazuo smiled, opening the door.

He immediately went to Ian's side, needing to be by his lover. Ian kissed the top of his head, taking him into the Supercuts on Guadalupe, right down the road from his alma mater. Kazuo stared at his feet until he was addressed, but unable to meet the gaze of the receptionist, "Um…I'd like my hair cut, please…a little over five feet off…" "Alright, we'll start with a good wash, then cut."

"Can he come back with me?"

Kazuo's voice wavered, gripping Ian's hand. "Of course." They were led back, Ian sitting in the next chair, Kazuo's hand in his, acutely aware of how fragile he was. He could see the nervousness in his eye as the wash began, then, slowly, Kazuo started to relax, eye shut. He always loved when Ian washed and brushed his hair, and it did feel good. Ian watched, alternating between squeezing and stroking the hand.

The stylist was thorough in her washing, Kazuo sighing, relaxing. She was treating him like a person, and not like a freak. She finished, wrapping his hair in a towel, and led him to a chair, "You can grab a chair from the front and sit by him." Ian nodded, pulling a chair over so he could sit in front of Kazuo, "You're doing great." "I love you." "I love you, too. We'll go to Katz's after this, park in the firm's lot and walk in." The younger man squeezed his hand as the hairdresser began to cut. "You said over five feet, right?" "Y-yeah…." She nodded, and began to cut. "Ian?" "Yes?" "Thank you for staying with me through…this…"

"Of course, my love."

Tears immediately stung Kazuo's eye, then he froze, watching as hair began to fall away, landing around his feet. He could feel his head becoming lighter, a bit afraid to look up at the mirror. "Look at yourself, Kaz. You…" Ian's voice cracked, "You're the…" Kazuo looked up, "That…that's it. That's perfect." The stylist gently brushed his shoulders off. "Thank you," Kazuo got up, Ian following, one arm around his shoulders, fingers gently rubbing his stump as he paid, leading Kazuo back out to the car, getting in.

Kazuo smiled, gently touching his hair, "I look pretty good with short hair…you know, good…for me, and..uh…Ian?" Ian was staring at him, a hard blush across his cheeks. His eyes darted back and forth, "I…I'm sorry. It's just that you're so…" He looked away, "You're so damn cute!" "What?" "Your hair's so nice and fluffy now, and…your neck…" Kazuo cocked his head, "My neck?" "Um…" Ian leaned over, one hand on Kazuo's shoulder, lips pressed into the curve of his neck, lavishing him with kisses.

"I-Ian!"

The older man nibbled gently, exhaling before planting a kiss on his cheek. Kazuo turned, "That's why I love you. No matter how weird I look, you love me." "You're not weird, you're gorgeous." Kazuo's lip quivered as he threw his arm around Ian, tears already spilling down his cheek, "Thank you for everything." "I'll do everything for you. You're mine. I'm yours." "Couldn't do it without you. C'mon, babe…

Let's take on the day."

#oc #original character

0 notes

yessoupy · 3 years

Text

you didn't ask for this take, but i'm offering it anyway.

i started watching michael phelps in 2000. i distinctly remember the day i found out that he'd gone pro at 16. my swim coach had us all guess who he was talking about and when he said it was michael my brain went, "that kid from last year???"

the athens games in 2004 came around and the kid from sydney was now 19 years old and dominating. he won 6 golds and 2 bronzes and whenever anyone made comments that he'd "failed" with those two bronzes (one in the 200m free when he lost to IAN THORPE AND PIETER VAN DEN HOOGENBAND, THE BEST and the other in the 4x100 free relay where the south africans just came out of NOWHERE and surprised EVERYONE), my reaction was "what the fuck???? he's third in the biggest meet there is???? that's not failure!!! your expectation that he achieve perfection was unrealistic! don't blame him for that." i've been fiercely protective of olympic athletes since a very young age -- i was 10 when i learned about greg louganis and his struggles. that made a big impact on me.

when mike was pulled over for rolling a stop sign back home in maryland and blew a .08 on the breathalyzer? my mind went right to all of the stories i'd found about olympians suffering from post-olympic depression. (were there a lot of stories? nope! but there were enough that it was something i knew about and worried about for my favorite athletes.)

then it was 2008 and mike was going for EIGHT GOLDS IN EIGHT RACES and the media was all over him and his face was serious and i wasn't watching those olympics live, i don't know if i could handle it. (my family had moved to hawaii and the first week of the olympics was the week i spent in texas before heading back to college. i also went to 7 baseball games in those 7 games, and my friend and i watched the prime time re-run every evening......)

the fact that mike was able to accomplish that feat was pure dumb luck. his finish that won him the 100m fly against mike cavic was the worst way to finish a race and every swim coach CRINGED but had he not taken the stroke he'd have lost. i can't even talk about the 4x100 free relay -- that gold was EARNED by jason lezak. EVEN IN THE SHINY SUIT ERA NO ONE BEAT HIS RELAY SPLIT.

but anyway. imagine having all of that pressure in 2008, when twitter was a thing but not really, managing to muscle through a grueling 8 days of racing at the highest level of your sport, being on every talk show and cereal box and magazine and on and on, and then you go home, where you swim AT a university but aren't a student, and you go to a party and hit the bong and a picture gets out and you have to apologize for letting loose because America made you a role model.

Then it was 2012, and that was supposed to be it. He'd retired. But he had no idea what to do with himself.

He didn't know what he was if he wasn't a swimmer. So he went in and competed again in 2016. Imagine being in THAT situation! The only thing you know how to do is swim 10km a day.

Now you see him on commercials for mental health apps, and I think I've seen his interview about Simone Biles' decision like 5 times without even looking for it. He's the greatest Olympian of all time, hands down. (There are some arguments someone COULD make about other athletes, but it's not like he was only swimming freestyle for all those medals .....) The fact that the greatest Olympian of all time is out there saying to the American people that we need to prioritize the mental health of these athletes, and that he supports Simone in her decision? Whether you like the image of that or not, the reality is that that means the WORLD in this space. It's HUGE for him to be on American media and speaking about this to the American public.

And what Simone has done in speaking about her mental health and taking a step back? That's HUGE for the athletes themselves. It's one thing for Mike to be out there talking about what he went through, it's another for her to be out there talking about what she's GOING through. The positive impact that she's going to have on the mental health of other athletes cannot be overstated. "If Simone Biles could make this decision for herself at the Olympics, I can do it too."

I know that Mike is ~problematic. The swimming world is a small one, though, and I've been part of it for 20 years. To me, Mike isn't just that Olympic athlete who's around every 4 years to win some medals. He's the guy who put my sport on the map and whose athletic feats inspired a new generation of swimmers (Katie Ledecky, Joe Schooling, Chad le Clos, the list goes on!). Mike's the guy I almost ran over in the parking garage because he doesn't pay attention in parking lots/garages (this was not the only time; there are multiple stories from multiple people). Mike's the guy who'd always sign autographs for the kids whenever he wasn't actively swimming --

Mike's a human being who's made mistakes and hasn't always been the BEST ambassador for the sport, but you know what? I was proud of him each time he won a medal, but I'm more proud of him now for what he's doing outside of the pool.

#tokyo 2020 #tokyo2020 #michael phelps #simone biles

19 notes · View notes

omegangrins · 4 years

Text

A Treatise On the Doctor

I don't know how to start this. Because I think of Peter Capaldi's words when he said that the only thing required to be a Doctor Who fan, is kindness.

I like 13 and think Chibnall is doing his best job writing the show.

So I struggle to write this because I am engaging against that very unkindness in the Doctor Who fandom, and trying very hard not to be angry back. "Allways try to be nice but never fail to be kind." But I've begun to wonder more and more if those who speak so loudly against the show really know what the show itself is about.

Enough of talking about other people though, cause frankly they're only important as set-up for this conversation. And again, I'm working kind.

So here's what you're gonna learn from this lifelong fan (and the best Tl;dr you're gonna get):

1. The Doctor sucks. From the very beginning. People complain about character traits now that have been around as long as the show.

2. Due to the Doctor's suckage, they tend to do more harm than good. (And because of this, most of the Doctor's "friends" along the way have been, well, let's leave it at the air quotes for now cause it's a damn big list of "BOOOO!!!".)

3. All of the showrunners and writers and actors and editors and everyone else has allways knows this and has played it this way.

4. And last but not least, since this is a time travel show. If you wanna know what and why stuff is happening now, look it up. Everything that happened before is allways in play.

5. None of this is bad, and in fact, it makes the show morally grayer. It's about kindness at all costs. Even your own.

A. First things first, the hard thing. The Doctor is not grrrreat. I mean, sure they try, but they fail a lot more often. In Extremis, a majority of those fatality index counts come from people the Doctor failed to save. That's why it's worded so specifically as "cause of death". All the death's caused by the Doctor's very interaction with time and lack of saving those around them. And part of it's not their fault, but more often than not, the Doctor says I can save you, and can't, won't, or chooses not to.

And that would be alright, but it took them over 1000 years to realize they should start letting their companions lead lives outside of theirs so THEY DON'T DIE. A bit too long as someone who claims to be better.

Not to mention how many times the Doctor is dismissive of their companions and the people around them only to use them for their help and just bug off again. If they truly cared and wanted to help, they would stay and listen in between adventures. Their lifespan is near infinite anyway. What's a few extra Earth hours with some friends you made along the way. You know, maybe fix some of the psychological and emotional damage created by encountering things behind a human's original scope of reasoning. But nope, we gotta go adventure more, byyyyeee!!

So when people talk about these qualities in 13 in a negative aspect I have to laugh because I'm not sure if they understand the joke. Cause we're talking about an alien that grew up around a species calling themselves Time Lords. I try not to blame them too much for it. 1 had to learn how to be hospitable to humans and it's been a bit of a slow learning curve ever since.

B. After the Doctor survived the horrors of the Time War and happened upon a human companion they felt worth connecting to, what did they do? They took Rose to watch her planet burn in front of her eyes. Great, first date, amirite?

And that's a little bit of companion damage. Do you know that the Doctor is responsible for the almost complete genocide of the Silurian race across multiple occasions. I am legitimately surprised there are any left after all of the ones the Doctor has killed. Like before, they cause destruction either purposefully or accidentally or simply by force of being there.

Remember before how I said that the Doctor just flies away. Yeah, they leave a lot of problems behind when they do (something that I can see Chibnall is planting the seeds of). If you had a time and space machine and practically unlimited capabilities and you choose to just leave after a situation and not check up on them from time to or see if there are any other underlying crises to be solved. But oh no, "gotta follow that rule of time and keep going even though I stopped in the first place because of how interested I was.". This is why 9 has a great arc about this. He thought he killed all the Daleks. They came back. He thought he'd gotten rid of the Slitheen. They came back. He thought he saved Satellite 5 from aliens. But opsies, they came back. And look! They're Daleks. Which he "finally" got rid of.

The Doctor just bounces around all carefree and without an ounce of care for themselves, their companions or consequences unless there's consequences for themselves or their companions. Then they get indignant.

Is that really kind of the person you want flying around fixing things in time and space? Who knows. But at least they are trying. Most of the time the T.A.R.D.I.S. lands somewhere and the authority figures are the most pretentious bull-headed pigs you can find. To me, I laugh cause it seems like both sides end up getting a taste of their own medicine. Usually with the bull charging to death in a sad glory while the Doctor wiles on metaphorically about not being as good as them.

But again, as a "superior" alien with "advanced" technology and "culture" you'd think they'd just know better already. But that's all part of the character. The Doctor may be in flux, but true change is difficult. The real hero of every story is the other people BESIDES the Doctor.

Cause the title is Doctor *Who* . The Who being half of the title, despite having less letters. It's the constant question of "What and why and who is that crazy person that's trying to help?" Why do you think they keep flying back to Earth? (Besides set construction reasons.) They've grown as attached to us as we have to them. And at this point, a lot of their saving us is guilt and embarrassment at having a hand in our timeline.

This is also the same reason the Doctor dumps companions in a fluff. Baggage. Every time a companion gets too heavy to carry the memories of... off they fly.

Except for 13. She's stayed. To this end, we can see how the Doctor changes. Not on our smaller, human timelines, but on the timeline of a god with way too much power.

D. With that in mind, we go Classic. It's the Who you need to consult if you wish to make any critique on what's happening now. Because how can you know how a part operates inside of a whole without seeing the whole part?

Cause I don't know if you've watched it but it can be rough, and I don't mean in the sense of production value (which admittedly they do a fairly decent job of using what money they had. A problem the BBC plagues to Doctor Who to this day.). The 3rd Doctor shits on every one they call friends constantly and then turns around expecting help. 4 did the same. Then 5 masked that contempt with a plucky face and a cheeky word. But it was still there, bubbling out of 6 and 7 as the inability to suffer fools gladly and using their own righteousness to enact change in their companions. A trait that kept going til an entire war and regeneration was used solving the question of "Doctor Who?" Only for them to try and forget twice more by putting on their pretty grinning faces and running away from it.

And I'm only talking from a companion perspective. Each of the Doctors has enacted their own form of genocide on countless species. Sure, it's to "save humans" but at the end of the day you'd have to ask yourself if we're really worth that blood. And this is all in the Doctor's history. As much as they claim better, they're hands are still gushing red.

The Doctor left Jo because she fell in love. They drove Adric to put their life on the line in order to feel adequate. The entirety of the Silurian race has been wiped out fivefold under their watch, with one time by their hand itself. Same for several other singular and unique species you won't be able to find elsewhere in the universe. 7 used time travel to enact a personality change in Ace while simultaneously using her as a pawn in an interdimensional war. The Time War itself. Sure it got erased but the Doctor still did those things ("War" Doctor or whatever nonsense titles they feel necessary to delude themselves). The entirety of Amy's childhood was destroyed by their presence, and Rory got erased. Twice! Sarah Kingdom. We know the list. Hell, the Doctor whisked Barbara and Ian away because they wanted to teach the snobby humans some lessons.

They may have a time machine, but we have the bill of their actions. This is where 13 excels. Because they're trying to be better than themselves. They've learnt the lessons of all those years traveling and the failures they wish they could reverse but don't as a way of keeping a scoreboard of pain. It's not perfect by any means, but look at 12 needing cue cards to understand and react to human grief under duress. They've come a helluva long way. After 50 years, I'm inclined to believe better. After all, it's what the Doctor would want.

E. You know how people like the ASOIAF series because it offers up morally complex characters existing in a morally complex world where black and white are harder to define than grey? Have you ever thought of Doctor Who as the same? Strip past the fairytale and adventure and "wibbly wobbly timey wimeyness and it's just people reacting to situations. We're just harder on the Doctor because they're hard on us. You could go round and round on who's the bigger killer, but at the end of the day Time Lords and humans fight and feel about the same things. It's allways been a joke to pretend otherwise.

That's why I love the Timeless Child. Not for making the Doctor anymore special but for saying that even despite having all of their specialness ripped away and repurposed to create a lie of a society then having the memory wiped of said event, the Doctor broke out of their mold, stole a TARDIS and told the Time Lords to fuck off. That's not a Captain America/Superman hero. That's Batman in space with a society of Lex Luthor's. Gotham and Gallifrey. The Doctor saw what they were a part of and broke free, without even knowing the more horrifying truth. Cause it's the thing I see many fans missing because they're so preocuppied with the Doctor being special. The thing that made the Doctor different was their ability to know the difference and walk away to find better. Now, the Doctor has a reason to go back and find out why they never stopped running.

The Time Lords might be the greatest monsters in the universe. It is in the name. "Lords". Those who would lord over us and impose their will with a banthium fist.

And this is a children's show.

C the thing is, the people who made and make this show all collectively rail against one thing: Hate. Kindness is the way of Doctor's. Even if they're sawing off your leg, it's to do the kindness of saving your life. This is because the people who make this (United Kingdomers) have seen centuries of war and conflict and oppression enacted by their own country in the name of progress. And they want to see it no more. Look no further than any of the Doctor's adventures with UNIT. Allways advocating for peace and being ignored for the comfortable war-cry. It's why it's hard to blame the Doctor when we do very similar and often worse (though we don't have time travel.... yet). The creators of this show know better, see better, and wrote better, to know that the powers that be nipped would nip their creations and sanitize them. So they wrote their messages so strong that you can feel them from the future. They're powerfull enough that even across eras they have all collectively moved me to write this.

That's another point I have to laugh at people saying Doctor Who has never been in your face about progressive politics. The Green Death. Survival. Trial of a Timelord (Yes, all of it. Sit down and power through.) The Happiness Patrol is one of my all time favorite episodes for going there in this regard. People may poo poo but history has its' eyes on you. Doctor Who loves taking potshots at the issues of the day. As long as you don't make the aliens black of course. Make them all the colors of the rainbow but never make them black. That'd be too on the nose (That's something they used to say back in the day! Crazy how far we've come).

So bravoa to Chibnall for continuing the legacy of Doctor Who. From where I'm standing, he's not doing anything different than any other showrunner before him. Cause if you want to argue canon, you at least have to know what created it. This show owes what it is to those Classic eras. And if you think Chibnall is shitting on those years and your childhood.... well, then why did you read this whole thing?

41 notes · View notes

theharellan · 5 years

Note

Also!! Idk if you've talked about this before, but what does he miss most about Elvhenan? Food, people, events, aspects of culture, etc.? Is there anything at all about it that he sees through rose-tinted glasses? What about memories that have faded over time which he'd hoped to keep?

send me meta | accepting

It’s difficult to pin down one “most” because of how much the Veil changed every aspect of his life. So really, you could say he misses a Veil-less world the most, but that wasn’t a product of Elvhenan, just the way the world was. Before Elvhenan it was the same, but it’s undoubtedly what he misses the most about life before. It has a huge ripple effect, changing Solas’s experience with food, art (of all varieties), nature, personal relationships, and how he perceived the world. Magic is a sixth sense of a sort, and while it isn’t gone now, it’s… less. While I write Solas as always having struggled with depersonalisation/derealisation at different points in his life, the Veil ramped it up to a point that it takes over a year for anything to start seeming real.

Even when he does learn to cope, he still is constantly confronted with how different everything is. When he kisses Ian for the first few times he’s concerned about Ian’s enjoyment– before, the world would’ve changed around them to reflect how they felt. Now, he certainly feels his own world change, but he’s keenly aware it’s his own perspective alone, and he has only a few cues to work off rather than the whole host of ones he was used to. I’ve written before about how the Orlesian line “tastes of despair” doesn’t sound so ridiculous to Solas, at least until he tries it. The old line “made with love” was a bit more literal in Elvhenan. It’s mentioned in World of Thedas that Solas doesn’t eat that much, and I honestly think this is one reason why. The other reason being that skilled Dreamers don’t actually need to eat, they can derive sustenance entirely from the Fade. I tend to hc that my Solas eats more than is implied in WoT, but when he does it’s usually because it’s a food he really enjoys (dessert, also any main course with honey as a main ingredient god help him), it’s made by someone he likes (eventually I think he develops a small friendship with sb who works in the kitchen and he tends to eat what he makes), or someone noticed his eating habits and eating will get them off his back.

This was all one very long tangent but I felt it was necessary to set up how much the Veil effects what he misses. I miss the cold North Sea and the English countryside, but if I decide I’m going to make some Yorkshire pudding or order some Quavers from England the way I consume them won’t be fundamentally changed.

Solas has always missed the people most, and it started before the creation of the Veil. When he was Fen’Harel, a rebel, a traitor, who only returned to the cities of Elvhenan as their enemy. Becoming Fen’Harel meant turning the hearts of many of the people he knew against him. While destruction of art was part of the rebellion’s deal, it limited itself for the most part to art that adulated the evanuris, and he could reassure himself that whatever he missed most would either a) survive or b) something new and better would take its place, something not rooted in a society that suppressed a thousand low-born artists for the benefit of one lucky-born artist. He also missed the food, while he’ll say himself some of the best food he’s ever eaten was with the rebellion, he still missed the bakeries in Arlathan and kept their recipes (as best as he remembers them) close.

But the people were always who he missed the most. As an evanuris, he had issues forming close, emotionally intimate relationships with people due to the huge gap there is between “god” and even the highest non-divine title, but he still grew fond of people. He knew them well enough to know most didn’t deserve what the rebellion was preparing to do to their cities, and that it was ultimately the system and the people in power who were their enemy rather than the ordinary people of Elvhenan. It was tempered by the fact that I hc there were members of the rebellion he was close to, closer in many ways than he was to anyone else before his defection as he had been growing more withdrawn with every new doubt. Yet that didn’t erase the fact that he missed the people he knew before, nor the despair he felt knowing their lives and livelihoods were at risk.

The same is still ultimately true now– the people are who he misses. When you ask Solas to share what he has seen in the Fade he always tells you human (for lack of a better word) stories, their experiences are what he connects with more than other aspects of the culture they came from. When you ask him about Elvhenan he does admittedly talk about buildings and magic rather than people, but I tend to chalk that up as it being wiser to not talk about the people he knew even in vague, distant terms for fear of seeming too fond although if he trusts/likes someone he may tell them some stories, but always with enough details left out that it can be interpreted as taking place in his apparent lifetime.

So like??? Even now, the people. That’s ultimately why he’s still doing this, more than for crystal spires or pickled apples or any magic lost with the Veil. The Veil did more than destroy Elvhenan, and its harm to his people isn’t just in the past when you take into consideration that spirits are his people as much as people like Abelas. He misses them most, but also feels he can’t talk about them.

As for what he sees through rose-coloured lens, Mythal is probably the biggest one. He calls her the best of them, and I honestly don’t doubt that she is, but he still harbours a lot of affection for her yet at the end of the day we come across her temple full of elves wearing her vallaslin. She was a strange presence on his life, a positive and negative one, but I think Solas is most likely to only remember the good.

There are smaller things he might romanticise himself which other people may not get. Not everyone might understand why he misses being moved to tears by a meal, but it seems cultural in Elvhenan, so I can’t quite say it’s rose-coloured. I think he might see the art through rose-tinted lens, especially early on in his time in the Dragon Age, but again his perception is so fucked it’s hard to blame him. That and it also applies to his own art so? Overall though I think he has a fairly realistic memory of Elvhenan, best demonstrated in this dialogue with Dorian:

Solas: Empires rise and fall. Arlathan was no more “innocent” than your own Tevinter in its time.Solas: Your nostalgia for the ancient elves, however romanticized, is pointless.

He’s aware of the fact that Elvhenan itself was an empire and that empires are inherently shitty and terrible, no matter who’s running them.

#( long post )#[ this got very long and rambly but it was a good question thank u ]#( headcanons )#weptfire #( asks )#v; we were everyone ( elvhenan )#v; gods will fall but we will rise ( elvhen rebellion )#she stood above the rest ( mythal )#he calls himself Pride ( about )#[ he also misses what people feel like. he forms relationships w/ ppl in the inquisition but still finds himself wishing he could experience #their friendships like he experienced his friendships before. idk the veil makes all of solas' nostalgia v twisty ]

7 notes · View notes

christhebarker · 6 years

Text

Twenty bloody years

Today HR informed me it was my 20th anniversary at my company so in a slightly self-indulgent post here's ten random things from twenty random years. I intended to do twenty but I think it's long enough really.

1 Talent spotting

Standing at the light box looking at transparencies through a loop I spotted a star. It was my first week at Classic FM magazine and that girl was the young Katherine Jenkins making one of her first PR appearances backstage at the classical Brit awards. I demanded to do a cover shoot with her. She was incredibly beautiful and totally charming in real life. Over the three years I worked on that mag I photographed her on numerous occasions , upping the ante every time; borrowing a million dollars worth of diamonds, an Aston Martin DB5 and ultimately a palace for each successive shoot. Over that time I saw her evolve from a little girl, green around the gills into a bona fide diva - never heard her sing though. It was never about that for me. She clearly had star quality.

2 Tunnel vision

I art directed the McLaren in house magazine for a while. It wasn't a comfortable job - the tobacco advertising ban was coming through at the time and the marketing team were all over everything - so it's quite fitting that that my most memorable experience was pretty uncomfortable too. I had an idea for a cover shoot that I'd never seen done before. For the Monaco issue I wanted a front on close up of coulthard in his car heading for the tunnel with it reflected in his visor. Amazingly they allowed me to borrow his MP4-16, overalls and helmet, but not the man himself. So, being fairly small (DC is tiny) it fell to me to be his body double. Those cars are cramped. I sat for an hour in that tiny cockpit, moulded to his girl-like hips and I could barely walk afterwards. And the visibility, Christ they must get claustrophobic in those things. The rear view mirror was about the size of a cigarette lighter. Makes you realise it does take some balls to go at that speed in those things.

3 Olympic vision

It's very rare in any non-performing profession to see people enjoying your work in its natural environment but London 2012 provided me with that, among many other unbelievable, opportunities. I had the chance to witness Mo Farah's historic 5000m win at the London Olympic stadium and see Bolt win gold too to boot. But the take home for me was witnessing 100s of people - in the grounds, in the stadium, on the train home - consuming and enjoying my work on the Official Olympic Daily Programmes. You never get that opportunity in publishing, and to top it off there was also televised praise from John Inverdale and Claire Balding on the BBC. And Lord Heseltine told me it was the best thing we had ever published when he came in to the office. A real morale booster at that point when spirits were starting to flag in the middle of sixteen solid days of 6am-9pm (then a break, then the Paralympics too).

4 The royal wee

Sometimes it's easy to take it for granted. The intimate moments with incredible people. I remember turning to the PR as we were sitting in on a rehearsal by the Ballet Rambert as they were perfecting some superhuman feat I couldn't possibly imagine doing and saying "We've seen some things haven't we" and laughing about it. I've witnessed personal performances for me and a photographer alone from some of the greatest classical musicians alive Julian Lloyd Weber running through Bach's cello concerto in his kitchen, James Galway toddling away at something he was learning, but my favourite anecdote is probably when me and Sting took it in turns to sneak into the Queen's private toilet in the royal opera house for a piss. "Well if you're doing it I'm gonna go as well" he said.

5 Sheffield steel

I accidentally touched Jessica Ennis's backside while adjusting a Union Jack draped around her in a Sheffield steel mill. Which is quite appropriate seeing as they are buns of steel. It was like I'd bashed into a wall, not a person. It was a complete accident and I don't think she noticed but it was quite memorable. Even though at the time I didn't really know who she was, same with Mo a week earlier, who I shot in the world's oldest wind tunnel at the National Physical Laboratory just down the road from my house. No idea who he was at the time. We chatted about a mate he may have worked with at McDonald's I believe.

6 Have I got awards for you

I've been fortunate enough to win a few awards over the years. We won PPA publication of the year for the Olympics work, my most high profile win was BSME art director of the year earlier this year for Work. magazine but my favourite win was the second of my back-to-back cover of the year awards voted for by a room of my peers on the night. Anyone can win something once with a fluke, but to do it twice was pretty special. It means you must know what you're doing. But what made the Brexit cover win extra special for me was that when I went up to receive it I spotted Ian Hislop, a bit of a hero of mine, sitting in the front row giving me a thumbs up. I got to chat to him after in the green room and I told him I thought he was the best thing about Britain today.

7 Trouble in Tuscany

There's been a bit of travel over the years. In the early days we would fly out to Germany to show proofs to BMW and Mercedes. Unimaginable now what with PDFs, emails, Skype and minuscule budgets. I photographed a sprinter in Florida, a hurdler in Ostrava... but the most memorable trip was to photograph tenor Andrea Bocelli at his home just outside Pisa. Memorable because it was such a disaster. As you may know he is blind, and his English isn't brilliant so communication was a problem. And the fact that to ease his obvious discomfort with the whole situation he insisted on using props. He left the room and came back in with a trumpet for example, which he insisted on holding in shot for every frame. Then just as we were getting underway someone started cooking pasta in his kitchen and the smell made him wander off. We didn't know if it was over or if he was coming back. Eventually he did and we got a few extra frames without the trumpet but it was such a bad day that when we left and the photographer put a light stand through the hire car's rear light I was like "yeah, that's about right".

8 High anxiety

Borrowed a helicopter for a shoot once. That was bloody terrifying. Never been in one before. If you've never done it, it's like being in a transit van in the air and whenever they want to turn or move in any way it kind of lurches. You feel like the pilot is only slightly in control and gravity is the real driver. I kept my head down and looked at the pictures as they came in on the laptop, pretending I wasn't there in the end.

9 Roger that

Seeing a genuine sporting legend at the top of his game is incredible. None of the other sporting events I've been present for in a work capacity - Grands Prix, UEFA Cup Finals, England test cricket - quite match up to seeing Roger Federer take on Andy Murray from the front row at the O2. Before the match I'd been looking forward to seeing Murray's trademark smashes but seeing Federer caress the ball and think five strokes ahead from such close quarters converted me to the tennis legend I had previously thought was a bit boring.

10 Mercury prizing

As far as I can tell I was responsible for Gomez winning the Mercury Music Prize in 1998. Which is weird because they were up against Pulp and I love Pulp. I was sitting on a table with the MD of Technics - I think, it's all a bit of a blur to be honest - at the awards ceremony and he was really interested in my opinion on who I thought should win. This was just after Gomez had done a storming rendition of Whipping Piccadilly and I think it probably swayed me. So when he disappeared for a bit then came back and told me he'd put his vote in for my favourite I didn't have the heart to say I'd changed my mind and thought Pulp should win. It was a very close run thing as well apparently. Sorry Jarvis.

0 notes