#he says that they met in 8th grade when they were 14 and then reconnected senior year

[fandomqueen6754]

You ever think about how at the end of season 6, we find out that Shannon and Eddie are actually the same age and since that’s the case, the Eddie and Buck are the same age? Because that is absolutely crazy to me

#he says that they met in 8th grade when they were 14 and then reconnected senior year #implying that they are the same age #and if you do the math from season one and Buck being 26 him and Shannon were born the same year #therefore Buck and Eddie are actually the same age #eddie diaz #evan buck buckely #buck x eddie #buddie #christopher diaz #shannon diaz

[howimetyourfather]

Invisible String

May 25, 2022

You'll never guess who I matched with on a dating app two days ago (May  23), I don’t know why I said this because you kids actually don’t know this person yet. 

Albert Chen. 

I haven't spoken or heard from him in eight years. He also disappeared off social media so it was hard to keep in touch. Then again, I don’t think we exactly left off on great terms anyway. 

We went to elementary and middle school together. 

You could say I had a crush on him in the eighth grade. 

But that was time when we all thought we were grown and everyone wanted to pair up with someone. 

Really though, what did we know about love and relationships back when we were 14? 

Back then, I thought he was cute but could have a temper. 

In sixth grade, Jair said I had mature 8th grade boobs. I started crying. It was traumatizing that someone was looking at my chest like that. The first time I felt objectified.

But I vaguely remember Albert trying to comfort me. 

I remember on our trip to Niagara Falls, it was pouring on the boat tour and we linked arms and held onto each other for stability. It was probably as close to hand-holding as I’d get. 

I remember the week most kids went to China for the graduation trip, he and I were some of the kids that stayed back. There was less pressure because there were less kids. So after recess, when it was time to go home, I’d wait for him to finish basketball and we’d walk back into school together. 

I remember Joyce and one of her minions bombarding me during snack time asking if I liked anyone. Asking if I thought Albert was cute or if I’d go with him to the school dance. 

I remember he was a dick, or at least tried to crush my heart, by saying he only liked me because he couldn’t have Alvian. 

I think at this point we had a falling out for some reason. 

All he wrote in my year book was “good luck” I remember that really saddened me back then. Probably because I felt I deserved something more than that. 

We had met one more time in June 2014. I know we got Chipotle, I know we walked Central Park, and I know he tried to kiss me.

To which I fucking freaked out because I’d never been kissed and I definitely didn’t want my FIRST kiss to be with someone I’d only jUST RE-MET FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 4 YEARS and my childhood “crush.”

Now, in 2022, it feels a little different. 

Maybe we’re older. Maybe time and experience has changed us. 

For better? Worse? Who knows.

It really feels like these people will come and go. 

Maybe he’s only here for a season and I’ll never see or hear from him again. 

But that’s so cool how time and paths cross in the weirdest ways. 

Maybe then wasn’t a good time? Maybe now?

Maybe never.

Still it feels nice to reconnect even after all this time.

“And isn't it just so pretty to think, All along there was some, Invisible string Tying you to me?”

Love always, 

Mom.

#19 #may2022

[ashleyrootlesley-blog]

a journey to my past

I sit here reflecting on certain points in my life. I am stoned, to be honest. I have been smoking a strain of marijuana called girl scout cookies. I am 33 years old. My name, is Ashley Root Lesley. My story began long ago in 1984. I arrived with my father, and left with my mother. I don’t know the details surrounding how my mom announced her pregnancy to him.. she didn’t talk about him much, other than to tell me how much of a bastard he was. I have very few memories of him being in my life when I was a child. My last memory of him from my childhood was when I was 7 or 8. We were at a concert selling grilled corn... I think . I don’t know. Many of my childhood memories are fractured, either from alcohol abuse, child abuse at the hands of my mom, getting hit by a car or age... who knows. Anyways, I would be almost 30 years old the next time I see him. It took him getting shot by his wife and nearly dying to reunite with his children. I am getting ahead of myself a little bit. I was raised by my mother.. and she will have a few moments in this post, but they will be short. She abused me, she was mentally ill and I suffered because of her hatred of herself, and her hate for my father.

I finally got a dad when I was 5, my sister and I were finally going to have a dad! I was so excited! My grandma likes to tell me this story, but apparently when I was in 1st grade, after my parents got married, I walked around school and introduced my dad to everyone. I am 11 now, just left 5th grade, and am now in middle school. I was on the phone with my cousin Amanda and we were talking about how she had just had her first period, and I was telling her I was excited for mine and couldn’t wait. It was hot, and my mother, younger sister and I were the only one’s home so I was in just a tank top and panties. I hung up the phone and my mom told me that I don’t have to wait to much longer before I have my first period. I asked what she was talking about. She told me to look down at my panties.. there was a large red stain; I had started my period while I was on the phone.

I am 12 years now, and the excitement of my menstrual cycle had long worn off. I had a dream one night. I was standing in the living room of a house I didn’t recognize, watching a man, and I could feel the immense love I had for him. I knew who I was looking at, my soulmate. The one that I would love over all others. I was watching him unwrap a video game system, and I told him to be careful and remember to take breaks. I walked over to him and gave him a kiss and he told me to have a good day at school.

I am 13 now, we had just moved from the town I lived in for so long, to my dad’s home town. I had a chance to make new friends, ones that didn’t know my family! I am in 8th grade, and the boy behind me was snapping my bra, and didn’t until I offered to date him. So, I had my first relationship. It lasted almost a year too.. mostly because neither of us really knew what it meant to be in a relationship. He was my first kiss, the first boy I made out with, the first boy that I experienced many things with, except doing the actual deed. I wanted that to happen with the man I loved, and I knew it wasn’t this boy. I am 14 now and in high school. I met a boy. I thought I could love and trust him. I was at a friends apartment for the night and this boy and I decided to make a very mature and lustful decision. I had decided that he was going to be my first. My mother came to the apartment looking for me.. and caught me about to make a huge mistake. My relationship with the boy deteriorated pretty fast after that. He approached me one day and broke up with me because he had asked me out as a friendly joke. I was slowly losing any faith in men

I am almost 15 by now. I was at my friend K’s apartment one night and we were walking around town at night as usual and one night we stopped by the movie theater to see what movies were coming soon. I stopped on the sidewalk so I could tie my shoe. I felt someone watching me. I looked up at the apartment building across the street. I saw a shadow in a cowboy hat watching me.. so I waved. He jumped a little and waved back. I was curious about him but gave him no further thought because I would never see him again.. or so I thought.

One day a few weeks after my 15th birthday I was walking home with K, and we heard a voice hollering, asking for our bra size.. it was my friend J. He invited us up to the apartment.. the same one from several weeks ago.. with the shadow. I stayed for awhile, and then went home to change and drop my school stuff off. I went back and was greeted with a bag of potato chips hitting the ground. I dashed up the stairs and burst through the door and saw my friend KB held up against the wall by someone. Someone that I would instantly recognize.. He was my dream love. He seemed just as shocked as I was. He grabbed my hand and introduced himself. His name is burned into my memory and my heart forever. I loved him, and I knew I would for the rest of my life. He moved in with my family, we dated and fell deeply in love. I felt like Baby in Dirty Dancing. He was my first for everything. He was my first love, my first lover, the first one that I ever wanted to spend my life with. Then, my parents found out that we were sleeping together. They kicked him out of our home, and my life. How was I supposed to raise my baby alone? I was pregnant.. and I never got a chance to tell him that our love created something so wonderful. October 3rd 2000, our baby had died, and I had a miscarriage. I was losing my last link to the rest of my heart. I was devastated. I started drinking more and more.

July 2003 brought about the winds of change. I was never the same after losing my baby. I was about to leave for a walk and my mother told me to stay home. I was an adult, so I didn’t have to. I was on my way out and my mother said that I had to stay home because I had to babysit my sister. She’s 15 at this point so she doesn’t need a babysitter. I finally just stomped back up to my room. A couple of hours later my sister is hollering for me that my first love is here and wants to see me. Mom yells at her to stop making terrible jokes. She yells back that she’s not lying. I go downstairs to yell at her, and he’s really there. He kept his promise. I was finally 18 and he came back for me. We had a wonderful week.. and one day, he was gone. He had abandoned me again. I still loved him in spite of all the things that I went through because of him.

November 2005 brought more changes to my life. I met my best friend in the whole wide world that month. She has been a rock and I honestly do not know where I would be without her in my life.

March 2011, I am 26 years old now.. and I am leaving the man I had been with for over 5 years. He was verbally and sometimes physically abusive. As much as I distrusted my mom, I had nowhere else to go. I moved back home. My parents had been split up for several years. Little did I know that my life would change in ways I could never imagine. I reconnected with my first love. We had begun a physical affair that same day. He was married and unhappy, and while I still loved him, I didn’t want a romantic relationship with him or anyone else. I just wanted the physical release that sex brought. It was a mutually beneficial situation. I was also sleeping with a couple other friends.. and then the thing happened. I was pregnant again.. I had gotten pregnant several times over the years.. always the same result...miscarriage after miscarriage. I wanted to hope..but I was scared to and on top of that, I had no clue who the father was. Then, I fell in love.. and he wanted to be the father..and while I appreciated it, I wanted to give the biological father a chance to say he wanted to be part of baby’s life or no.. I lost the baby..

June 1st 2011.. 9pm..

I’m rushing home. My sister messaged me asking if mom was ok..cause someone said the house was on fire. I checked the hospital, and she wasn’t there. I don’t see any firetrucks or police lights, that’s good right?!! OMG MOM! WHAT IS GOING ON! WHAT DO I DO?!! I GOTTA SAVE HER!!! I SAW HER! THAT CAN’T BE HER!! SHE’S BURNED!! DID SHE BURN TO DEATH?!!! I tried to run into the house. I had to find her.. where is she.. she can’t be dead.. I’m not ready.. what do I tell everyone.. WHAT DO I TELL MY GRANDPARENTS?! HOW DO I TELL MY SISTER?!! WHY?!!!!!

#love #death #loss #firstlove