#have a good night lads! remember: making bad art is fucking awesome

[b4kuch1n]

fanciful stories (you're way too good at this)

(that's not what it's about. being good at it)

#pokemon #swsh #champion leon #gym leader raihan #assistant sonia #three parts of a whole idiot #hi. this is mostly me testing just goin at it with ink again. its wonky but! thats not what its about! #thinking abt little boy... in the arena with a set of league uniform a size too big. winning because it's fun #leon truly is like a recurring nightmare I have. every other month I wake up in the middle of the night like oh shit leon pokemon #also reintroducing the dragonfly motif for raihan... I debuted it for leon but tbh? it fits raihan better #this is like magical girl to me. the image genre of using kids toys to do archetypal hero things #man. I really need to draw a very specific thing for gloria. leon may be in it but I want it to be for gloria #we'll see! Im so fucking sleepy rn #theres a feast to be made tomorrow. I need to lay down n save up my energy for cookin #have a good night lads! remember: making bad art is fucking awesome

[todaysbiggesthits]

The Exam

Best Music Moment of 2019

BC: Three straight hours of this

in my Chapman Ryder Cup match with Code  -The Robert M. Chennault Playlist in my Ryder Cup match with Laser  -Vampire Weekend's "M79" with Parks and Rec theme interlude in Pawnee Peytonville with my babe  -Late night music game with JD and Chaps this Fall  -My kids competing for best air guitar solo to Daft Punk's "Digital Love"  -The Stones soundtracking Raceday morning with Counterfeit Kenny and the Kennel Boys 

Codem: -Picking up the keys after closing on #our house and listening to Arden's dreams for the pad while listening to the songs that brought us together in the first place. -Perched in the balcony of Park West watching Chromatics live and in person. -The Chapman format playlist that Brendon and I put together.  It was just one song on repeat.  Xtal - Aphex Twin -Plugging in my klipsch's for the first time in the new house to listen to elliott smith on the day of his death. the sound of his discography wafting throughout the whole house was a true delight.

Bronco: My 6-year-old discovering Green Day.  My 9-year-old discovering Metallica.  Both discoveries have awakened something in them that is hilarious and awesome to behold.  And seeing Tool was pretty flaming awesome.

JD: March: Realizing I’d never heard this Stones song, nodding along to the opening riff, and exploding into my biggest laugh of the year at the first line.

June: The Joni Mitchell performance in the Rolling Thunder Review documentary on Netflix. June: Catching the Thom Yorke Anima short film at the IMAX theater on the Upper West Side. July: Code and I getting a perfect 99 score on the greatest rendition of “Emotional Rescue” karaoke you’ll ever see. October: Playing the music game WAY too deep into the night with BC and Chap (look for the next day’s hangover on my worst moments list).

Chap: Patrick Stickles singing "I'm sorry dad no I'm not making this up" to his dad in the audience.

Nasty: Listening to music at BOB. Nothing but jams that whole weekend. Driving in with Laser - GOOGLE MUSIC JAMS. Trip to the casino - JAMS. Hanging out on the deck - JAMS. Driving to the course with Blazer Black - Fuck Buttons - Sweet Love for Planet Earth aka JAMS. In the cart with Code - JAMS. Driving Chappy and Sfreddo to the rental car - JAMS (but quietly).

Larse: Greta Thunberg speech dubbed to metal

Best Shows Seent in 2019

Nasty: The Killers @ Summerfest. Hot Fuss will always be an all-time favorite album and Mr. Brightside is the best pop song of our lifetime, IMO. Also, my wife loves them which is about the only band in middle of the venn diagram. 

Larse: The Lonely Island at Summerfest

BC: Dead & Company

JD: 1. The Rapture at Music Hall of Williamsburg 2. Viagra Boys at Bowery Ballroom 3. The Strokes and Parkay Boys at the All Points East fest in London with drunk lads screaming along to the guitar parts 4. B Boys at Union Pool 5. Titus Andronicus at Bowery Ballroom 6. Avey Tare at Market Hotel 7. Tame Impala at MSG 8. Weeping Icon at Elsewhere 9. Priests at Elsewhere

Code: interpol - chicago theater illuminati hotties - hideout it looks sad - subT downstairs robyn - riviera steve malkmus - art institute eleventh dream day - hideout colleen green - sleeping village swearin' - lincoln hall surf curse - subT shura - the bottle

Chap: TA was the only show I saw. It was great!

Bronco: All of them.  They were each great in their own way.  Aside from Tool I was able to interact with the band members at each of the shows.  One I didn't have a ticket for and scored one at the door.  One was in the tiniest venue I've seen a show at.  One had a surprisingly entertaining opening act.  And Tool surprised me with how much I enjoyed an arena show despite being so far away I couldn't see the facial features of the band members.  And there was SOOOOOOO much weed being smoked in the Garden that night.  And I was with a few good buddies.  And I was able to sell my fourth ticket for twice what I paid, simulatenously covering me and my fourth friend who had to bail because his life sucks because his wife sucks. 

Confession of 2019

Nasty: I consume more music at my cushy, suburban OrangeTheory workout classes than in my own free time. S/O to Coach Vanessa for having some Girl Talk on her playlists. 

Codem: i had more fun listening to stuff that i already knew about than stuff that was coming out.

BC: I saw a Yacht Rock cover band and didn't hate it -I succumbed to social pressure and saw DMB -I didn't realize until the last minute that my favorite album was released in 2018 (Wild Nothing). Removing it greatly reduced my loyalty to my list.

Bronco: I'm losing my edge.  I enjoyed way more lady singer bands this year than in any other year.

Chap:  Couldn't get my shit together on the tracks list so just posted a random playlist

Larse: Not really a confession but more of a TIL (today I learned), but Raphael Saadiq was an original member of Tony! Toni! Tone!

Biggest Disappointment of 2019

Bin: The National @ Summerfest. From the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel "the frontman was completely detached, even confessing at one point that he was excited to get back home to his family. The result was an incredibly depressing show — which, given the band's dour songs, is really saying something." ... Huge Bummer.

BC: Didn't see nearly enough shows with nearly enough of yous 

Chap: Sturgill Simpson... unlistenable!

Bronco: Baroness.

Laser: Modest Mouse opening for The Black Keys

Code: i was really messed up by dave berman's passing. i had tickets to see him play at the end of august. it was going to be my first catching him live and in concert. i had waited for this moment since i picked up american water back in 2003.  two weeks before he was supposed to come through town, he up and died.  also, much less of a bummer, the chromatics show in miami that Arden and i were going to attend got canceled two days before the show.

Most Overrated of 2019

Nasty: Kanye's shoes

Chap: LEGACY! LEGACY! – Jamila Woods seems to have been highly regarded? Not my thing

BC: FKA Twigs

Bronco: Baroness.

JD: Big Thief

Code: cancel culture

Larse: Mayor Pete

Make it Stop 2019

Chap: In my house, the Nutcracker Suite. It's great, until the 300th time that day.

Nasty: Cage the Elephant (but children, instead of elephant, and in real life, not the band)

BC: Lizzo 

Code: lizzo

JD: Memes

Larse: Trump

Bronco: News

Biggest TBH Regret of 2019

Chap: Can't seem to get to more than one show per year; Jessica Pratt in a church by my old place

JD: Missin’ dat Pratt yet Nick!

BC: Should've listened to the Kanye album.  Should've spent more time with the Deerhunter record.

Rotty: Skipping CHVRCHES at Summerfest

Code: another year with no fog party

Nasty: Not going to Indy 500. lol jk.

Bronco: I didn't buy tickets to a few shows I would've liked to have seen.  One of them I went to the venue and didn't get in.  That bummed me out, but I crossed the street and had a few beers by myself for good measure, so it wasn't a total loss.

Detective Murtaugh of 2019

JD: Everything.

Bronco: Shows that don't start until 10pm. That Girl Band show nearly wrecked me.

Chap: How much I loved Bruce Springsteen's adult contemporary western-themed old-man album.

BC: The ten seconds I lasted with 1000 GECS

Nasty: For the life of me - I cannot figure out how to operate the "play next" queue on these apps. 

Laser: Lizzo at Summerfest - lot of younglings running around; people were racist towards Lizzo's security guards, she vowed not to come back to MKE, one of the most segregated cities in America :(

Resolution for 2019 Status

Laser: — How It Went: Who can even remember this shit...I'm sure it was that I'd do better at keeping track or listen to more shit people suggest and I'm sure I failed.

BC: Listen to one new album a week; reboot the Classic Album Review Club How It Went:  Noooot toooo gooooood

Code: catch ovlov, pictureplane, washer, chromatics, EMA and colleen green live this year. How It Went: i saw chromatics and colleen green. last i checked .400 gets you into cooperstown.

JD: Greater consciousness of how I’m using my attention - an ineffectual and meaningless protest of the ways the world is burning down in pursuit of it. How It Went: Not bad! I especially nailed the “ineffectual and meaningless” part.

Chap: Learn Piano; Guilt Joe Dons into finally inviting me to a concert. How It Went: Learned some piano but got to busy for it... Couldn't guilt JD to invite me anywhere but I DID invite him to a show! The same one I went to! With him!

Bronco: Read more 'classic’ books. I didn’t read many of them, even in school (especially in school? Never could read a book I was told to read). But I’m leaning in the sci-fi direction of 'classics’. I just read Dune this summer, and wrapped up Fahrenheit 451 the other day. I’m feeling an unexplained need to beef up my nerd credentials and this seems the way to accomplish it. How It Went: Nope.  Fell back in to zombie-apocalypse genre series that I've been reading for a while. But I am currently reading arch-nerd Neal Stephenson's "Fall; or, Dodge in Hell". It's almost 900 pages, I feel like I've been reading for months now, and because I'm a stupidly slow reader, I read only before going to bed, and can only make it 10 minutes before falling asleep and hitting myself in the face with my phone, I'm only 25% of the way through. But man is it painting a creepy yet eerily plausible scene of the near future. Guy just knows how to write.

Nasty: Hope last year I was smart enough to leave this blank. (editor’s note: [removes shoes, pets cat, puts on slippers, retires to favorite easy chair, sips martini, slowly pulls reading glasses out of cardigan pocket, dusts them off, loads todaysbiggesthits.tumblr.com, scrolls to ‘Resolution for 2019’] “Nasty: I’m sticking with it - get to NY for a show with JD.”)

Resolution for 2020

BC: See Phish in 2020

Codem: i'm making it easier this year. catch ovlov, washer, EMA and colleen green live this year. bonus points: see dom's much anticipated return to the stage.

Bronco: Build a vinyl collection. I know I dumped on Brendon for suggesting he press copies of Carpet Affair, but my kid's getting way into music and listening to it on his own (via Alexa in my bedroom which is super fucking annoying), so we're getting him his own record player and I think it's going to be a cool activity to go record store diving for whatever classics we can scrounge up.

JD: Get to more shows. Take more aimless strolls spinning tunes.

Bin: Send an email about music on the TBH! thread. 

Larse: None

Chap: Eh I'm cool

Most Anticipated of 2020

Code: my man dom said that he is coming back to the world this year. i have to believe that he'll keep his word. i'm thinking 2020 is going to be the year for chromatics' Tommy.

Chap: TWOD, Perfume Genius, Jason Isbell

BC: Huey Lewis and the News, Tame Impala, Run the Jewels

Bronco: Kvelertak and Mastodon, maybe some surprise extra Tool material?

JD: Working Men’s Club

Nasty: Spotify getting Jay-Z's catalog back. 

[mwolf0epsilon]

DBH - A Russian Alien in Detroit

This one is a little more rushed, but I wanted to introduce Artyum and Val before I proceeded to mess around with any more of my androids.

The DBH fandom needs just as many interesting and fun human ocs as it has awesome android ocs!

---

    In all of his 2 years of experience living in America, Artyum found that everything was kind of the same as his home city in Russia.

It stank of pollution and the people sucked ass, although very often he found that being so rude didn't do him any favours.

Or maybe just being a foreigner already screwed him up big time. He couldn't decide which one was it just yet...

    On arrival he'd been fresh out of uni, with his engineering degree still holding that pleasant new smell, and his hair being cut short and beard trimmed to perfection.

His grandmother had always told him first impressions mattered when going to a job interview, and applying for an apprenticeship at Cyberlife in America meant that he had to be careful with how he spoke, dressed and worked.

Perfect and efficient were what she'd told him to go for. Never less.

His father in turn, had told him to be better than that, so as to show the Americans how Russians got shit done. Honestly, he'd tried.

But when you're Russian and your country is having a dick measuring contest with the one you're supposed to live in for work reasons, you can kiss the simplicity of a nice life goodbye.

His superiors had hated him for being a “Commie” spy, and they'd all treated him like a trash fire for looking older than he really was.

Genetics were a bitch, and the male side of the family all reached 6’ in their early 20s.

He was 21 and built like a bear.

The chief engineer who was a pretentious jackass with the self-confidence of a worm, really didn't like that in particular.

Apparently being outsized, outweighed and outsmarted by a 21 year old graduate, was a personal blow to his fragile ego.

Really there was nothing, short the food and work, that got a tiny bit of pleasure out of his stay in the country.

And then working in the engineering department, testing the newly built androids, became less fun and more nerve-wracking.

    Everyone in his department knew about the “Defects”. The androids that just didn't come out working as they should.

His supervisor told him that he should flag any of the 'droids that just bugged out and acted up weirdly, but honestly?

Something just never felt right about it when he did it. A sort of gut feeling that had nothing to do with the sugar glazed donuts and redbull he'd had for lunch.

And then, being the curious idiot that he was, Artyum Kutznekov just started really paying attention to his tasks, rather than punching in his card and disassociating for the day until his shift ended.

The false bliss he'd felt over working his “dream job” had come crushing down when it really clicked what he was doing.

The “Defects” weren't so much as glitching androids as they were aware.

And not just a simulation gone wrong. They were scared, and it was REAL.

    Artyum wasn't that clean shaven nerdy boy anymore. He wasn't sucking up to Cyberlife and it's corporate vampires. He'd quit, sent a letter home, got a lecture back and then said fuck it to everything.

He became an official citizen of the United States and moved into some shitty hellhole of an apartment, right above some Brazilian couple that fought every night and then fucked their brains out at 4 am. The above tenant was nice, an old Scottish grandmother who'd greeted him with a beer and a few words.

 “Welcome to the most culturally diverse part of Detroit. We get all the immigrants here.”

 “Is that good or bad?” He'd asked.

 “Russian. Tsk tsk… Lose the thick accent and ya might not get shot in an alleyway.”

 “Would be much better than to live in America anyway...”

 “That's the spirit lad. You'll fit right in.”

She hadn't been kidding.

There were a lot of people with different ethnic backgrounds in the apartment and they weren't all that bad.

One of them, Val, was a young 19 year old latina who lived in the basement floor.

No parents, no other relatives, just her and her android dog, Regi.

She was as smart and cunning as a fox and had the tongue of a sailor. Nana Agnes scolded him for giving the kid vodka sometimes.

It kind of paid off that he'd befriended her in the end, after Sergei came into his turbulent life.

 “So, couple of custom parts and something to help save his skin?” The girl grimaced “Sugar, you're really killing my buzz here. That android is fuuuucked.”

 “Tell me something new...I know it is a difficult task, but I am being at...At wits end. Repairing is easy, yes? But customizing to fit older model is your bread and...and.” he paused, clicking his tongue for a second of annoyance as he tried to recall the proper term.

 “Butter. My bread and butter, which requires pay.” Val rolled her eyes. “I swear, you're a heck of a fuckin’ dictionary Artie, but how can ya remember the precise name of biocomponents and shit, if you can't remember how to say butter or even spork?”

 “I studied! Manuals have all information on complex parts, but they do not come with information on what one is to put in toast!” He pouted. “Also combining spoon and fork is most stupid thing I have ever been told! There are different utensils for reason!”

 “Oh my god Art you're killing me.” Val smirked “And fiiine. I'll get you those parts, but ooonly if you let me tweak the voice box for Sergei.”

 “You are enabler though! You will give him annoying voice that will get on my nerves!” he'd complained.

 “Hey! Sergei's all about dat sweet sweet gay culture. If he wants a super funny and cute nasally voice, let my boi have one! Bitches gotta go all out my dude!”

 “I swear I do not know why we are friends.”

 “Cuzz I'm such a charmer, and you're bored of hearing Marcello's and Joana's soap opera dramas every morning.”

 “Becoming listener of their activities was not a choice.” He reminded her.

 “And the term you're looking for there, is vouyer~”

 “I am not a vouyer!!!”

 “No, but you're a big hairy dude that lives with a gay robot that's missing several limbs and a lot of screws.”

 “You make it sound very questionable.”

 “I build custom vaginas and dicks for androids that can't consent, while knowing that there are living ones fighting for their rights in this shit show of a city. Life's fucked. Let me have fun at the expense of my Russian bear neighbour and his twinky android roommate.”

 “I will drink to that.” he replied as he took both their glasses for a refill.

 “Yeah could sure do with another drink. To our shitty weird as fuck life.”

 “Amen.”

 “Like God would condone any of this, lol.”

    America wasn't all that great, neither was Russia really, and honestly Artyum had chosen a poor time to move into Detroit, but hey...

If he hadn't died in some alleyway because of hate crimes, then he was surely not gonna die because of what was up with the city and it's "Deviancy problems".

If he did, at least then he'd die knowing he wouldn't have to get shot at the grocery store for having a thicker accent than people were comfortable with.

Until then he was content with repairing Sergei. The PL600 sure could use a helping hand after he'd been put through, whatever the fuck his twisted owner had done to him before Artyum found him in pieces.

#Eps Writes: #Fanfic #detroit become human #detroit: become human #OC Stuff #We also need more cool human supporters and good android modders #god knows some people might actually have morals in this universe

[wistfulcynic]

Both Are Infinite, Chapter 2

Summary: Busy single mother Emma Swan relies on her best friend, Royal Navy Captain Killian Jones, far too much to ever ruin things by acting on the crazy lust she feels for him. The boundaries between them are firmly set… until they’re not, and suddenly Emma and Killian are forced to confront the feelings they’ve been suppressing for far too long.

a/n: So it looks like this fic is going to be hitting all the tropes with a sledgehammer. You've been warned :)

Also on AO3

Art by @rouhn

Tagging @resident-of-storybrooke @teamhook @kmomof4 @wellhellotragic @rouhn because you’ve either been awesome and supportive of my earlier work or because you asked for it ;). Anyone who’d like to be tagged in future chapters please do let me know.

Chapter 2:

They had been on the road to Storybrooke for well over an hour before Henry finally settled down and dozed off in the back seat. The last time Emma had visited her hometown he had been just a baby, and although he knew his uncle David and aunt-to-be Mary Margaret well, the idea of going to what was basically a new place and meeting loads of new people made him both excited and nervous. Emma had been as patient as she could, understanding the effect that particular blend of emotions could have, but his constant barrage of questions and attention-seeking mischief had been extremely trying, especially while she was trying to get them packed and on the road at a decent hour, and she couldn’t help feeling relieved when Henry finally slept and the car was quiet. She glanced over at the passenger seat, where Killian was sitting, watching the scenery go by. As usual he’d been a huge help keeping Henry occupied and out of her hair while she took care of the packing and tidying the house, making sure he was clean and dressed and didn’t forget his favourite stuffed toy, a floppy-eared dog named Joe. What would it be like to have him around all the time, she wondered for the billionth time, and for the billionth time she stomped down that thought and buried its shattered remains deep in her subconscious.  

His phone buzzed and he removed it from his pocket, frowning slightly at it as he rejected the call, though not before Emma caught a glimpse of the caller’s name. Milah.

Who the hell is Milah?

His phone buzzed again immediately and his frown deepened as he rejected the call a second time and switched the phone off.

“You can answer it, I don’t mind,” she said, trying to sound casual.

“No, it’s fine, it’s not anyone I wish to speak to.”

She hesitated, burning with curiosity but not wishing to pry. They never discussed their private lives, how they lived or who they saw when they weren’t together. Emma supposed she knew intellectually that Killian must date —he was far too attractive not to— but she had never before been confronted with such stark evidence of it, and emotionally she was not prepared.

“Who’s Milah?” she heard herself asking, and he looked at her sharply. “I saw the name on your phone. Is she— is she your girlfriend?”

He sighed. “Not anymore. I ended it about a month ago. She’s having a hard time accepting that.”

Emma nodded, ignoring the twinge of pain she had no right to feel that stabbed her just below her heart at this confirmation of his involvement with another woman, willing herself not to push any further. “Why?” Damn it, shut up! “I mean, why did you end it?”

“She wanted more than I was able to give.” Killian’s gut twisted at the memory, still fresh and painful, of Milah’s face when he’d broken things off with her. He’d felt terrible doing it, knowing that from her perspective it was coming out of nowhere, but he also knew that allowing their relationship to continue when she had clearly fallen for him would in the long run be far worse. He’d tried so hard with Milah, harder than he’d tried with any woman since he’d met Emma, and he had truly wanted to make things work with her. The affection and attraction he’d felt for her had been genuine, and if he could have made those feelings deeper through sheer force of will then they would both be madly in love right now, but ultimately he’d had to accept that his efforts were futile. Emma’s hold on his heart was absolute, and unless he could find some way to break free of it he could never get serious with another woman. It simply wouldn’t be fair. He knew all too well the misery of unrequited love, and he wouldn’t inflict that on Milah or anyone else, couldn’t string her along knowing he could never be what she needed, what she deserved.

He looked so sad, thought Emma, this Milah must have been important to him. The twinge of pain became more intense. She wondered what had gone wrong, and clenched her jaw firmly shut to stop herself from asking any more prying questions. It was none of her business, and she needed to remember that. Killian had a right to his own life and his privacy, and she reminded herself that maintaining their unspoken boundaries benefitted her as well. She definitely didn’t need Killian knowing what she had been up to these past five years. Or rather, what she hadn’t been up to.

Unable to bear the look on his face any longer, she attempted a change of subject. “So, Henry’s starting school in the fall. I can hardly bring myself to believe it.”

He smiled, a bright, genuine smile full of affection for her son, and she felt the tension in her jaw and shoulders drain away. “Aye, me neither. He gets so much bigger every time I see him, but part of me still expects him to be that tiny baby I first met.” He turned to look at Henry in the back seat, fast asleep, his head lolling forward in a way that had to be uncomfortable. “I wish—” He bit the words off, barely catching himself before saying something he didn’t dare speak aloud, and shot an anxious glance at Emma, relieved when she didn’t seem inclined to press him about what exactly he wished.

“The school is only a few blocks away so I’ll be able to walk him there before work, then he can go to Anya’s in the afternoon,” she continued, as though he hadn't spoken. Anya was Henry’s babysitter, the same one who had taken him to the hospital the night Emma and Killian had met. “It’ll be a good arrangement. I just hope he likes school.”

“I’m sure he will, Swan, he’s a bright, friendly lad. He’ll get on splendidly.”

She grinned at his word choice. “Splendidly,” she repeated teasingly, in a bad imitation of his accent, and he shot her a comically exasperated look, which made her laugh. After a moment he joined her, the rich sound of it suffusing her insides with a warm, tingly sensation. This was what she needed to hold on to, she thought, this warm, supportive friendship with its ease of communication and laughter, his reliable if intermittent presence in her and Henry’s lives. As long as she had this then Milah or whomever else could have his body, and she didn’t —she wouldn’t— envy them. What she had was far more valuable, more permanent. He could break up with a girlfriend, but a friend was forever, and more than anything else she needed him to be forever.    

They arrived in Storybrooke at just past nine, pulling up to the large Victorian house that had been in David’s family for over a hundred years and where Emma had lived happily between the ages of 13 and 18. Returning to it now made her a bit sad. The house wasn’t the same without Ruth.

Mary Margaret met them at the door with eager enthusiasm, which she toned down slightly at the sight of Henry’s sleepy face as he snuggled in Emma’s arms. “I’d really like to get him to bed now,” said Emma quietly, “If he wakes up fully it’ll take ages to get him down again.”

Mary Margaret nodded. “I’ve made up a bed for him in the den,” she said, “That’s where all the kids are sleeping. Follow me.”

Killian kissed Henry’s forehead. “I’ll get the bags, love,” he said. She handed him the car keys and he went back outside.

Emma followed Mary Margaret down the hallway, carrying Henry. “There are five kids between the ages of four and eight here this weekend,” Mary Margaret whispered. “All of them are sleeping in here. The whole house is packed with guests, we want to spare as many people as possible from having to fight over the limited accommodation in town. It’s basically Granny’s or nowhere, as you know. The ones that aren’t here are in my loft. You and Killian are in your old room, of course.”

Emma nearly stumbled, and Henry made a small sound of protest. She smoothed his hair to soothe him and tried not to raise her voice as she turned on Mary Margaret. “What do you mean me and Killian?”

Mary Margaret looked confused. “Well, I thought you’d want your old room—” she began, and Emma could see that something, somewhere, had been seriously fucked up.

“Never mind,” she interrupted, “Let me get Henry to bed and then we’ll talk.”

“Okay,” said Mary Margaret, clearly still confused.

Emma tried not to seethe as she took Henry into the den, got him into his pyjamas and into bed.

“Are we there, Mom?” he murmured sleepily.

“Yeah, kid, we’re at Uncle David’s house. You’re going to sleep here in this room with the other kids, but I’ll be right upstairs if you get scared, okay?”

“I won’t get scared,” mumbled Henry, and she smiled. Her brave boy.  

“Okay, well sleep tight then, we need to be up bright and early tomorrow.”

“‘Kay, mom. ‘Night.”

“Goodnight, honey.” She kissed his forehead, noting that he was already fast asleep again.

She returned to the hall where Mary Margaret was standing wearing an anxious expression, and grabbed the other woman’s arm, pulling her away from the room full of sleeping children.

“Emma, is there a problem?” asked Mary Margaret.

“Yeah, you could say that.” She couldn’t stop her voice from rising. “Why would you put Killian and me in the same room?”

Mary Margaret shook her head. “I’m sorry, I’m really confused. Why wouldn’t you be in the same room?”

Emma stared. “Because… we’re not together?” she replied. Surely David had made that clear. Mary Margaret looked astonished, then devastated.

“You’re not?” she almost cried.

“No. Didn’t David tell you?”

“We never talked about it. I never asked him. I just, I mean with everything, I— I always just assumed you two were a couple.”

“Why would you assume that?”

“Well, I mean, from the way you talk about him, the way you two are…”

“What the hell does that mean?” shouted Emma.

“Look, don’t jump down my throat, it’s just… well, Emma, he lives at your place when he’s on leave, and you’re never available to do anything with us when he’s there. You remember last year when David and I made our first trip back to Boston after moving to Storybrooke, we had plans set for the whole week then you just blew us off because Killian managed to get a week’s leave and you wanted to spend the time with him. Then the year before that the three of us were at dinner and you ran out on David and me because Killian called you, and spent the whole meal sitting outside the restaurant on the phone with him.”

“He was calling from the South China Sea!”

“I know, but that’s sort of my point. All you do is work and spend time with Henry and Killian. You arrange to take all your vacation time for when he’s visiting so you don’t have any left for an actual vacation, and when he calls you drop everything to talk to him. I think I can be forgiven for believing he’s your boyfriend.”

Emma was silent for a minute, knowing Mary Margaret had a point but unwilling to concede it. “Well, he’s not,” she said stubbornly.

“I’m sorry,” said Mary Margaret, and Emma wasn’t sure whether she was apologising for her mistake or because Killian wasn’t Emma’s boyfriend. “There aren’t any free rooms left in the house, but I can see if someone would be willing to swap with you—”

“No, it’s fine,” interrupted Emma, making a quick decision. She didn’t want to call attention to her and Killian’s situation by making a big deal about the sleeping arrangements. “Killian and I have been friends for years, we can share a room for a few days. Sorry I shouted, Mary Margaret, it’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it anymore.”

The other woman looked relieved, and smiled. Emma tried to smile back, though the butterflies that were currently waltzing around her insides made that difficult.

They returned to the foyer, where Killian was chatting with David. Emma caught his eye and indicated he should follow her, which he did, picking up their bags and promising David to continue their conversation over a beer in half an hour. She led him up the stairs and opened the door to her old room. She’d decided it would be best to just come out with it, like ripping off a band-aid. “This is us,” she said.

“Us?”

“Yeah." She took a deep breath and let the words come out of her in a rush. "Apparently there was some sort of mix-up and Mary Margaret got the idea that we’re a couple and would want to share a room. There’s no empty rooms and I didn’t want to make a stink on her wedding weekend, so I just went with it. I hope you don’t mind.” She glanced up at him, anxious for his reaction.

He looked utterly panicked for a moment, then she could almost see the naval officer take over as he carefully schooled his features. “Of course not, love, I’ll just sleep on the floor.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Emma’s heart was pounding so loudly she thought surely he must hear it, and she willed her voice not to shake. “We can share the bed.”

They both looked at the twin bed standing innocuously against the far wall; it seemed somehow much narrower than Emma remembered. “Are you certain?” Killian asked, sounding very uncertain himself. “I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“Of course I’m certain. We’ve been friends for years, it’ll be fine. I don’t want you to sleep on the hard floor for four nights.”

Killian thought wildly that even the hardest floor, or one adorned with hot coals or rusty nails would be far more comfortable than a tiny bed full of Emma Swan, with her sweet scent and her soft hair —gods her hair, he could still feel the way it had slid silkily through his fingers during their one kiss— right there within his reach for eight long hours each night, where he would have to be constantly vigilant to avoid accidentally touching her, even more to avoid intentionally touching her; the tiniest slip of his control would be fatal. She couldn’t actually expect him to sleep under such conditions. He considered trying to dissuade her, but the mulish look on her face was one he knew all too well. She wasn’t going to give in.

“It’s a bloody good job I packed my nightclothes,” he said without thinking.

She looked confused for a moment. “Why wouldn’t you— oh!” Her eyes widened as she caught his meaning, and then they flickered down his body, pausing a moment too long just below his belt. He knew he had gone bright red and he cursed once again his easy blush, the absolute bane of his existence.

She was blushing also, a lovely shade of rose pink that made her eyes bright against her cheeks and her lips look so soft that his ever-present desire to kiss her sharpened into something almost painful.

Gods, this is going to be hell

“But… you always wear pyjamas at home,” she said, her flush deepening.

“I take them off to sleep.” His voice was gruff. “I don’t like constriction.”

She nodded, saying nothing, but her eyes darted to his crotch again and he had to bite back a groan. Please stop looking there, love, or soon there’ll be something for you to see

He cleared his throat. “But as you say, Swan, it’s only for a few days. I’m sure I’ll manage.”

“Yeah,” she said firmly. "We'll manage."  

He swallowed hard, and attempted a tone of easy cheer that he definitely did not feel. “Listen, I’m going to go have that beer with Dave so take as much time as you need, I’ll probably be a couple of hours. He’s being even wronger than he normally is this evening, I imagine it’ll take some time to set him straight.”

She smiled at his attempt at humour. “Okay, well, goodnight, I guess.”

“Goodnight, love.” He smiled at her and left.

Emma sank onto the bed with a shaky sigh. Her butterflies had graduated from the waltz to the tango, and she doubted she’d be able to sleep. What had possessed her to refuse Killian’s offer to sleep on the floor? Now she would have to spend four nights lying inches away from him, knowing that if he were alone he would be naked— shit, that meant that he slept naked in her house, in the room that was right across from hers. What the fuck was she supposed to do with that information? She’d always been so careful not to imagine him asleep over there, so tantalisingly close to her own bed, and now he would be right fucking next to her and she could not get the image of him snuggled under her blankets with no constriction out of her freaking head.

“Damn, damn, damn, shit, and fucking fuck,” she said.

Killian remained downstairs until well after midnight, after even David had gone to bed, wanting to give Emma enough time to fall deeply asleep before he returned. He opened the door as quietly as he could, and was relieved to see her curled under the blankets breathing slowly and steadily. Moving stealthily, he gathered his wash bag and pyjamas and went down the hall to the bathroom to brush his teeth and change. Ablutions completed, he braced his hands on the sink and glared at his reflection in the mirror.

“Keep it together, mate,” he told himself firmly. “You’ve been in trickier situations than this. Just remember your bloody honour.”

Back in the bedroom he hesitated for a long moment before slowly lifting the edge of the blanket and sliding beneath it, positioning himself as far over on his side as he could manage, watching Emma carefully. She didn’t stir and he slowly relaxed, focusing on keeping his breathing deep and steady, until he drifted off. Beside him, Emma shifted restlessly, rolling across the bed and snuggling into the hard chest she found on the other side, unconsciously seeking contact with the man she refused to acknowledge that she loved. Killian sighed in contentment as his hand stroked up her back, pulling her close. Wrapped around each other, they fell into a deep, restful sleep.

When Killian awoke early the next morning Emma was in his arms, her back pressed firmly against his front, her ass cradling the ridge of his erection, his face buried in her hair. For a moment he relaxed into the embrace, believing he was still asleep and dreaming, tightening his arms to pull her closer and breathing in the sunshine-and-coconuts scent of her hair. Then the sound of a toilet flushing in the bathroom down the hall brought reality crashing down onto him and he jerked away from her, practically falling out of the bed in his haste to extricate himself. You bloody arse, he berated himself. What were we just saying about honour?

Sending up a quick prayer of thanks that Emma was such a sound sleeper, he exchanged his pyjama pants for jeans and retreated downstairs to hunt up a cup of coffee and hopefully some peace from the insistent urge to crawl back into bed and spend the rest of the weekend wrapped tightly around her.

Emma remained still and silent for several minutes after he’d left, trying hard not to cry. She knew it was stupid to be hurt by his reaction to waking up as they had, that of course he wouldn’t want to be spooning his best friend a month after he’d split with his girlfriend, but it still felt terribly like rejection. She didn’t know how they’d ended up in that position but it had felt so good, and she’d somehow let herself lie there for over half an hour, enjoying the warmth of his body and the strength of his arms around her, his breath ruffling her hair against her cheek, before he woke up and brought it all to a screeching halt.

This is good, she told herself scathingly, you needed a reminder that he doesn’t want you that way.

She wondered again about Milah, what she looked like and what she’d said and done to attract Killian, before giving herself the second mental slap of the still very early morning and flinging herself out of bed. That is none of your business, idiot. Now go down there and make sure that things won’t be awkward with your best friend in the world.  

When she got downstairs Killian and Henry were sitting in the kitchen eating cereal and discussing their plans for the day.

“Would you like to see the marina, lad? David tells me that they’ve a fine one here, with lots of big ships.”

“Big ships like yours?”

“Well, not quite, mine is a military ship, these will be merchant ships or private boats. But still fine seafaring vessels, worth a gander, eh?”

“Okay!”

“Now this afternoon and evening your mum and I will be occupied with wedding things, but Mary Margaret’s mother will be taking you and the other children out to see a farm and then for ice cream and a movie. How does that sound?”

“Will Roland be there?”

“Roland is the lad you were talking to this morning?” Henry nodded. “Yes, I believe so.”

Henry thought for a minute. “I like Roland. Can he come to the marina with us?”

“We’ll have to ask his parents, but if they say yes then he certainly can.”

Emma stepped into the kitchen, and Henry spotted her. “Mom, Mom! We’re going to go look at big ships then I’m having ice cream on a farm and Roland can come too.”

“All pending your mother’s approval of course,” said Killian, watching Emma with anxious eyes. She smiled brightly at him, and he relaxed.

“That’s all fine with me,” she said. “Mary Margaret already asked about the farm and the movie, and I’m sure he’d love to go look at the ships. Will you be okay with him this morning? I have some bridesmaid stuff to do with Mary Margaret.”

“Of course, love.”

It turned out Roland’s father Robin had plans of his own for his son, so Henry and Killian went to the marina by themselves and spent an enjoyable hour or so looking at all the ships and trying to guess where they’d been. Afterwards, they went to Granny’s Diner where Emma had said she would meet them after she was finished with her bridesmaiding duties.

“Killian,” said Henry, in the wheedling tone he used when he wanted something.

“Yes, lad?”

“Why don’t you have any kids?”

“Er,” Killian was flummoxed. “Well, hmmm, I guess it’s because I haven’t convinced anyone to be their mother yet.”

“Are you looking for their mother?”

No. I found her years ago. “Aye, I suppose I am.”

“So you want kids?”

Images sprang into Killian's mind, painfully alluring ones, ones he always ruthlessly suppressed even in his weakest moments: Emma, round with his child; himself standing behind her as she cradled a baby with her hair and his eyes, his arms about them both; Henry and Emma and himself and their baby, together as a family. He wanted all of that, so fiercely that the thought of it stole his breath, and it was a moment before he could respond to Henry’s question.

“Aye, I do. Very much.”

Henry’s big brown eyes observed him carefully. “Maybe I could be your kid.”

“Oh, Henry.” How I wish you could be, lad. “You already have a father.”

“But Mom says he’s never coming back.” Henry’s lower lip began to make itself prominent, and Killian could sense a pout coming on. “So I don’t have a dad, and you don’t have a kid, and I really want you to be my dad.”

Killian wondered with almost detached curiosity what infernal deity he had angered to bring this day upon himself, and what he could possibly do to make amends and get it to bloody stop.

“Henry…”

“Please, Killian?” Henry’s eyes were huge and his lip was quivering.

Bloody Swans would be the death of him, Killian thought, racking his brain for what to say, how to put Henry off without hurting him.

The bell on the door jingled, and Emma appeared.

Thank fuck.  

“I think it’s time for you to go to the farm, lad, we’ll talk about this another time, all right?”

Preferably after he’d dumped it in Emma’s lap for her to deal with.

Henry fixed him with a look that said “Don’t think for a second that I’m going to give up on this, buster.” Killian knew that look well, having seen it on Emma’s face more times than he cared to recall. He met it with the look he always gave its parent. We’ll see about that, young Swan.

#cs #ca au #cs au ff #captain swan #mutual pining #both are infinite

[nodaudaboutitt]

for the get to know the blogger thing: even numbers in the 130 range

OH Boy, this is gunna be a long one

2. What is your favorite piece of clothing you own / owned?

I have a shirt of a lady wearing a panda mask, it looks really nice and im actually wearing it right now ahaha, also really like my star wars X-Wing hoodie :D4. What does your perfect room look like?

Im not really sure tbh, although it would be nice if there was a little more space and better lighting than my room has. Would love to get some small plants and stuff and some owl related cushions or something6. What fictional place would you like to visit?

Would be interesting to visit Dunwall from Dishonored or one of the many planets in Star Wars, would love to go see a Podrace or something!8. When was the last time you climbed a tree?

2014, its the same time i fell out of a tree and broke my collarbone ahaha10. What is the most annoying habit that you or other people have?

I check my phone way too much which is kinda annoying to me, although my dad gets really annoyed that i bounce my legs ahaha12. What skill would you like to master?

It would be rad to master a language (Although im on my way to that) or maybe my skating or art14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house to live on for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like?

Honestly i would probably just buy a cozy apartment and get a cat or something, ive never really thought about such before16. What state or country do you never want to go back to?Havent actually got anywhere i would never want to go back to yet 18. What game or movie universe would you like to live in?

As cool as the Metro games are, not that one ahaha. maybe the world of Star Trek or something :D20. Are you usually early or late?

Im usually quite early tbh 22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually need help with?

Not really sure tbh, i cant remember, although people occasionally ask me about assignments or such so there that24. What do you wish you knew more about?

Well cos im finding programming a tad tricky at uni, i would say that, but tbh i would love to know more about astrophysics or anything related to rocketry and piloting !26. What are some small things that make your day better?

A cup of tea in my favourite mug, someone complimenting how i look, my dog saying hi when i get home 28. What’s the best way to start the day?

By slamming my face into the pillow and going back to sleep ahaha, nah i think a relaxed morning with some tea and a nice breakfast or something

30. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should?

Would be cool to have a channel for all the space exploration stuff, lunno if it would be widely popular or not but i would love to see such 32. What age do you wish you could stay at permanently?

Im not really sure tbh 34. What’s your ideal way to spend a weekend?

My ideal weekend is to laze about at home and play videogames, bake some stuff or work on some art. I just feel really comfy at home so being able to relax at home all weekend sounds ideal to me36. What is your claim to fame?

Im not really sure if i have one?38. What’s your favorite book or movie genre?

I really dig science fiction, although with movies i also like the action genre :D40. What have you only recently formed an opinion about?42. What subject interests you that not many people have heard of?

I couldnt think of anything people havent really heard of but i really enjoy reading about early nasa, so stuff like the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo programs44. What’s the best book series or TV series you’ve ever read or watched?

I think at the moment, the best Tv series for me is Band of Brothers46. What’s the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen?

Those videos of people meeting family or friends in the airport that live really far away, everyone is so happy in those and its really nice :D48. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with no preparation?

I could probably give a presentation on ww2 or the moon missions, not 100% accurate or super detailed but yeah, well that or the Lore of various games and movies i like50. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

Travel, just seeing somewhere new, the journey and exploration involved, its really cool :D52. What’s your dream car?absolutely no clue54. What is something a ton of people are obsessed with, but you just don’t get?

Game of Thrones, that new show on netflix56. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been?When i lived in England i went to the transport museum and also the various imperial war museums, those were absolutely fantastic. Over here in straya though? probably the top of sydney harbour bridge, that was pretty gnarly58. What is the best thing that happened to you last week?

Well i just got my grade back for my programming assignment and i got 70% :D60. If all jobs had the same pay rate and hours, what job would you want to have?

Im not sure, although at the moment im studying game design at uni so i would probably go for that anyway ahaAlthough if there was an opportunity it would be cool to become an astronaut or ww2 historian62. How different was your life 1 year ago?

Well i couldnt ice skate, i wasnt doing a degree, i think i was in  somewhat crappier state than i am now. But things have been improving over the last few years :)64. What would you rate 10/10?

Ahh im not good at rating or ranking anything, i guess the new star wars? (Rogue one)66. What is the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen?

Im not really sure, i dont think ive been to see art in ages, although i really like the art my friend @echey does! its super awesome stuff!68. What do you hope never changes?

My ability to find good in a bad situation70. What movie title best describes your life?I cant even think of one tbh72. What’s the best way a person can spend their time?Just do what you enjoy i guess74. Where is the most relaxing place you’ve ever been?

Botanical gardens in adelaide are really nice, dont go there too often but theyre relaxing as heck76. Where would you rather be from?

As much as i talk shit about england, i dont think id want to be from anywhere else78. What do you look forward to in the next 6 months?New alien movie, end of first semester, turn 20 next month, Dunkirk movie, lots of cool stuff :D80. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford?Either a trip overseas or all those games that i have on my wishlist rn82. Where would you spend all your time if you could?Im not sure tbh, i guess anywhere i feel comfortable?84. What age do you want to live to?ahh thats a tough one, i guess in my 20′s? 86. What are you absolutely determined to do?

Get through my degree and get a job in my chosen field88. What do you wish you knew more about?theres so much i wish i knew more about ;-;90. What question can you ask to find out the most about a person??? iunno dude92. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?iunno? any compliment is nice to me :D94. Who inspires you to be better?nothing comes to mind but im sure theres someone :/96. What haven’t you grown out of?my favourite tshirt ahaha 98. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done that actually turned out pretty well?no bloody clue but im sure it was absolutely stupid aha100. What’s something you will never do again?climb a tree and break my collarbone102. What keeps you up at night?my messed up sleep schedule mainly, although those weird night time depressed moods get ya too 104. What is the most illegal thing you’ve ever done?probably underage drinking106. What are you afraid people see when they look at you?a worthless shithead108. What do you look down on people for?being absolute wankers, although in my degree the thing i really look down on is those people that are like “How did you not get that? its easy!” or generally act like a know it all and give you shit over coding, like chill out lads and help each other110. What lie do you tell most often?im fine, im not tired, im used to it, ill be fine,  couldnt think of one so heres the top ones i can think off112. What is the best & worst thing about getting older?Can buy what you want, but worst thing is that the older you get, the more youre looked down on for being unemployed114. If you had a personal flag, what would be on it?probably a kickass dragon!!116. What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned?

Don’t procrastinate/ set your deadline a day or two early and start early so if you do procrastinate, it would fuck you up as bad118. What are you famous for among your friends & family?I think with friends im mostly famous for random history (Mainly ww2) facts and at home im mostly known for my shitty humour i think ahaha120. What one responsibility do you wish you didn’t have?122. What do you want to tell your 10-year-old self?Don’t give a shit about what others might think, just do what makes you happy and be how you feel you should124. What’s the best thing about you?My terrible humour, my optimism 126. Have you ever saved someone’s life?Who knows?128. What would a mirror opposite of you look like?Like a reverse image of me? nah ahaha probably a massive asshole, but at the same time theyre probably putting them self first and their happiness so iunno130. Which of your scars has the best story behind it?Got a massive scar over my right collarbone, had to get surgery on it when i broke it and so now ive got a metal plate in my body aha

thank you for the ask!!

#hockey-downunder