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vampbait-a · 7 years

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|| Cemetery Roses || ch. 6

|| co-written with @cynaram Previous: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

The rain pelted down at a drizzle, deadening the sounds of the surrounding cemetery. In the darkness, the cleared path through the roses was the only safe means of exit.

There was just the warning crunch of a shoe on gravel behind the necromancer before the crash of a shovel at his back, narrowly missing his head.

Cabal’s knees went weak at the blow. He hadn’t even looked around upon leaving the chapel; idiot, did he think his enemies took holidays if he was upset? He staggered to face his assailant, his hand already going to the only weapon he could reach: his flick knife.

"T'ain't bloody well gettin' 'way wit' it no-longer!" growled a burly, very angry man* in greenkeeper’s overalls. [*After a series of unexplained disappearances attributed to the job of caretaking Wingates' Rest Cemetery, the local civic hiring commission had begun hiring private security agents seeking a more restful vocational experience that was rich in gardening.]

He dropped his shovel and grabbed Cabal's wrist- directing the blade away from himself as he fell upon the suspected grave-robber.

"God only 'elp ye now!" he snarled, bearing the weight of his substantial torso down with his forearm across Cabal's neck. "I'll send yeh t' Hell!"

Cabal’s head hit the stone hard. Stars crossed his vision, clearing as he regained his senses.

He lay squashed under the blood-maddened greenkeeper. His face suffused with blood as he groped for the knife and tried to strike out or twist free. He fought on, but his concerns were serious and growing; the odds had always been good that something of this kind would happen, and this lummox of a landscaper seemed happy to lean on his neck for the rest of the evening. He was lightheaded. His eyes searched his field of vision. Could he see her, now?

Like a shadow given form (as well as lots of teeth and very sharp talons), Laurelai's leather-clad form hit the homicidal greenskeeper with all the force of a very small steam engine.

The brute’s cry came with the force of breath pushed from his lungs- the switchblade burying itself in Laurelai’s side as it was nearly wrenched from Cabal's hand.

Laurelai screamed- or roared- like a large cat or bird as the struggle continued: brute size and strength pitted against feral force and speed.

The greenskeeper pinned Laurelai beneath his weight- his face, chest and biceps bearing deep scratches beneath shredded denim and wool as he sought to strangle the llamia. With a broad palm bearing down on her neck, the shovel's broken handle was in his hand- the jagged end brought to bear against her chest--

"Fuckin' Nosferatu!" The greenskeeper spat.

A gleaming city boot struck the gardener’s fist, and he yelled and dropped the impromptu stake. The rain plastered Cabal’s hair to his head like a gilt helmet, and rivulets of water and blood ran down his face. He bared his teeth as he yanked the man’s head back and brought the knife down to his throat.

But Cabal was unsteady, and his enemy declined to stay in place for a throat-slitting. The man rolled away, and Cabal’s fingers slipped. It freed Laurelai, at least, who lay unmoving after her throttling.

The hulking guardian didn’t bother to rise. He kicked Cabal behind the knees, and he fell. He saw a flash of light as he cracked his head on the flagstones again. There was a hot pain in his hand, maybe the knife.

He tried to pull himself to his feet, but he was dizzy and sick. Laurelai had roused herself to aid him, he realised fuzzily. He hadn’t called for help, because it hadn’t occurred to him that there was anyone to call. A bad decision for her. A burly shadow blotted out the stars above and the darkness rushed in.

Though Cabal was not conscious of it, Laurelai burned the last of her precious blood in defense of his life. Like an acrobat, she sprung up in a roll-turned-somersault and wrapped herself around the greenskeeper-

---her fangs burying irreparably in his jugular vein.

The greenskeeper went down like a sack of meat under Laurelai, his last moments spent kicking helplessly beside the man he had meant to kill. Eventually, his thrashing subsided; boots leaving furrows in the soil like a macabre snow-angel. She rose when he stopped twitching, and wiped her mouth on the back of her forearm.

"Oh, cherè," Laurelai's tone was soft as she moved to Cabal's side. He was wounded, unconscious, and she knew little about the needs of humans. She turned his head gently, her hand at his cheek as she spoke his name. He did not wake, and her concern deepened.

Gathering Cabal's lanky, limp figure into her arms, Laurelai carried him back to the safety of her nest-bed.

Once inside the chapel, Laurelai laid the injured necromancer down in the soft folds of her nest. He was soaked to the skin, and although he did not stir as she arranged his limbs, he was shivering. She frowned, realizing that he was cold- and that her bed would also soon be just as damp as his suit.

Halfway through stripping Cabal of his sodden jacket, waistcoat and trousers, Laurelai realized that his skin was not warming. She left him to light a small fire in the wood stove and hang his clothing to dry. Then she went outside to dispose of the greenkeeper’s corpse and collect Cabal’s effects.

When she returned, Laurelai’s own leather clothing was hung alongside Cabal’s suit in favor of a cotton t-shirt that was several sizes too large. The chapel had warmed nicely with the help of the stove, and Laurelai covered Cabal with one of the swaths of velvet that served as her bedding. He seemed to be resting more comfortably; his colour returning.

It was then that she noticed that he was still bleeding not only from a cut at his temple, but from a deep gash in the heel of his palm. These she kissed- tenderly sealing the wounds with the tip of her tongue and the clotting agents in her saliva.

It was tempting to bite and truly taste him, but she could not bring herself to hurt him even in her weakened state: the stab wound in her side unable to heal without blood. She wrapped his hand in a length of silk torn from the dress he had given her and cleaned the blood from his skin.

As dawn drew closer, Laurelai curled up beneath the blankets beside Cabal, her small white hand clasping over his uninjured digits. Even in her drowsy state, she worried for her friend.

His mind toiled towards consciousness like an ant ascending an anthill. The ant’s footing was unsure. Sometimes it slid backwards. Sometimes all went black for a while, and it found it had been toddling off in the wrong direction in the interval. The ascent seemed like a lot of fuss. Blackness was relaxing.

Fitfully, he became aware of causes for concern. He was comfortable, but he had an unplaceable feeling he hadn’t fallen asleep at home. Something hurt. There was a faint surprise at being alive at all, which, when identified, brought him to full wakefulness.

He slitted an eye open, and he flinched. Ouch. Reports rushed in from his body; Cabal knew concussions better than hangovers, so he immediately identified the source of the headache, light sensitivity, and faint nausea.

He opened both eyes. He was in a lanterned and screened area he recognized as Laurel’s nest. Late afternoon light glowed from the obstructed windows, though no direct ray shot through to her nest.

Belatedly, he realised that he was not alone; Laurelai curled next to him, her forehead pressed against his shoulder. Her hair was stuck to her face, and she seemed naturally asleep. Her skin was warmed from being so close to him, and she breathed softly. Their joined hands lay on his stomach. His bare stomach, he noticed, perturbed. Where were his clothes? His thoughts were fuzzy, but this seemed important.

He had been well-cared for. His other hand was bandaged with a length of grimy dress silk; he brought it gingerly up to his brow - yes, a bandage there, too. He touched his neck. The headache throbbed, and the wounds ached, but he could swear she had not fed from him. He was hungry and thirsty and woozy, and his thought processes had the clarity and precision of a sack of old boots, but he was alive, thanks to Mlle. Laurelai.

He must set himself in order. Too much had happened last night, and he wanted to think it through while fully dressed and sitting at a table with a notebook. He stirred, releasing her hand. How had that happened?

Although the sun still held sway over Laurelai's circadian rhythm, she stirred at Cabal's movement. She shifted her thigh from against his hip and stretched- rolling onto her back with a groggy murmur.

Her eyelids felt impossibly heavy, and he was warm and- awake.

<"Do not.. fear.."> Laurelai murmured, blinking at her guest. <".. safe..">

She dozed again, her face turned towards him in the gloom.

“Merci, Mademoiselle.” A llamia’s bed was a strange place to find safety, but she had been true to her word. ”Dormez bien.”

Grateful as he was to the bed’s owner, Cabal was relieved to extract himself from thee swathes of velvet and heaps of cushions. He felt a bit of a fool and really very nude, despite the shorts she had left him. He stood barefoot on the stone floor.

A short time later, he sat at her folding table, fully dressed. The wool of his suit was dampish, but he wore it anyway, and the linen had dried at the stove. Sparks of sunlight illuminated the trove around him and glittered from the hanging objects as they stirred in the air currents.

He had checked his wounds and found they were clean and closed. The llamia was an effective nurse as well as protector. What had she used? His Gladstone bag was here, unopened, so it hadn’t been his first aid supplies. He smiled faintly as he remembered the ferocious spring that had plucked the burly assassin off him like a jungle cat taking a baby monkey. He ate the luncheon he had packed, burning the wrappers in the stove.

Now. It must be done, and it was better to do it before she awoke. He had two hours, maybe. His lips bloodless, his head spinning and sick, Cabal set about recording every detail of last night’s possession while the details were fresh.

"I did not expect you to still be here."

Laurelai spoke from the top of the chancel, having just emerged for the evening. She looked tired and held her side protectively with one arm- the other supporting her against the screen. Her tone held no hint of ire, but rather concern as she limped to the table in her night shirt. "Are you hurt?"

“Mademoiselle! You are injured.” The words were concerned: the tone bordered on the accusing. “You should have hunted last night. What were you thinking?” Cabal half-rose from the table and sat down again, self-conscious.

"Oui, I fought." Laurelai was not used to anyone being concerned about her health, and she paused in surprise. Then she smiled ever so slightly: one corner of her mouth softening as she regarded him. "There was no time. You nearly died, cheré." Laurelai sat down in the other chair, favoring her injured side. "I am glad you did not."

It made him uncomfortable that Laurelai had tended to him while she was more severely injured. “But surely you need blood to heal. Are you capable of hunting? There are things I wish to tell you, but we can make arrangements for your needs first.” Cabal knew exactly what kind of assistance he was offering with that ‘we.’ “I owe you…” my life was literally true, but he could not support the melodrama, “…a great deal.”

Laurelai did not know how to handle Cabal's concern for her well-being. She had not considered her actions in caring for him as something of value -other than in the obvious benefit of continued living. She looked at him curiously, seeming to search for an answer. She settled upon answering his question.

"You do not owe me anything. You saved my life." She remembered how he had looked when he had thwarted the would-be vampire hunter: the raw anger in Cabal's eyes in her defense.

"....I do not think I should go out. I am weak, and my pain.." Laurelai was not complaining as she lifted the cotton shirt she wore to expose her left flank, though she had reason. Beneath the curve of her bosom, a deep stab wound bled sluggishly at the center of a deep purple bruise that hinted at worse internal damage. The switchblade had penetrated her ribs, punctured her lung, and then had been messily torn free, and the wound was ragged and deep. Her breaths were shallow, each causing pain.

Cabal glared. “You should have a bandage on that. Why did you not see to it? What did you use on my injuries? I have something in my bag. Is that wound sucking?”

He pulled out his first aid kit. The thug with the poor taxonomic skills had been trying to kill him, not Laurelai. “You cannot discuss last night’s possession while you are in this state, and we must.” He frowned as he sorted through the kit’s contents, trying to determine what might be of use. “You are not equal to defending yourself.” He considered solutions. “I could bring you blood. I could stay with you to guard you, if you will be able to hunt tomorrow. I could….” He could offer her his own blood. Horst had done it, once. But Horst was Horst. “You cannot just sit there leaking.”

"The sun was rising, and you...?" Laurelai wasn't sure how she had gotten herself into trouble, and her rosebud lips downturned as lavender hues widened in alarm. Why was he so upset? She watched in silent confusion as he rifled through his bag, an expression of simple awe replacing the pout. Slowly, Laurelai realised that Cabal cared about her.

"You would give me blood?" Agog, she lowered the hem of her nightshirt. Her wounds would heal in time; in a matter of days she would be ravenous but able to hunt. And yet Cabal offered to care for her in her own nest! "But... I am taking care of you?"

“And you have done it very well.” He should have noticed that ass with the shovel, even in the storm. His judgement had been affected.“We have work together. You have valuable talents and skills.” His eyes were cool but not unkind. “It is in my interests for you to be alive and well. Wash those wounds out with whatever you used on my hand and head; it seems excellent. We will consider your diet later.”

"Wash my wounds with...?" Laurelai was so overwhelmed by the necromancer's sentiment that it took her a moment to realise his misconception. She laughed despite the pain it caused her; lavender hues glittering softly behind raven lashes. He was so funny!

"I am not able, cherè." she watched him unpack the strange boxes, smiling pleasantly. "I stopped your bleeding ...how is the phrase? I kissed it better."

Then she leaned over and kissed Cabal's cheek, purring happily. "No one will ever get that close again."

“What?” Cabal tried to hide how aghast he was. “That close to…?” He cut himself off. Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.

Laurelai was oblivious to Cabal's horror, merely smiling and nodding and humming her agreement. He had turned quite pink, and she smoothed the unruly hair at his temple as she considered kissing him again. His lips were inviting.

“Well.” His face felt warm. “Perhaps you could swab the area by applying your saliva to a pad.” He brandished a sterile square at the llamia, who was still very close. “Either that, or clean water.” There must be a coagulant in her saliva, maybe something to combat infection. It would be instructive to compare it to Horst’s saliva in the lab.

"Oui, I kissed. Is that not how you..?"

Laurelai blinked at the white square and sat back, accepting it with mild confusion.

"You are very strange to me sometimes, cherè. I do not have trouble with such things as illness. I only need blood." she held up the gauze, looking at it suspiciously. "What is this for?"

“Nothing, if you cannot become ill. Fine. Fine.” One minute they were having a perfectly reasonable conversation, and then she was petting him like a lap dog again. He found an excuse to go to the other side of the table. “Is there any point to a bandage? In a human, it would slow the loss of blood while the body heals itself.”

Laurelai belatedly remembered that Cabal did not like to be touched. She nodded, listening but curious about his first aid supplies.

"Oui, it does that. My healing is very slow without blood. I sleep a long time, because of this pain." she frowned slightly. "If I am able, I go to the town and.."

Laurelai held her hands palm-up in an illustrative shrug.

"...you know how it goes."

“The bold outlines, yes. Do your victims survive?”

Laurelai hesitated, looking away.

"If I choose," she said carefully, having been reflecting much on this. Laurelai realised that she no longer took pleasure in killing now that she had befriended a human. "I do not think I have to kill. I could let them go."

That wasn’t a ringing safety endorsement, but it was good to know. The local hospital might be a better plan; they would have plasma, and he knew the layout well enough to get in and out during the night shift without a fuss. His head throbbed. It sounded like a great deal of work, but it sounded like less work than carrying someone back to Laurelai.

“I will bandage you. It is difficult to do to one’s self. Your shirt.” He was frowning as he unwrapped the roll of bandage.

"Oh, oui," Laurelai recovered from her reverie and stood, lifting the dark cotton over her head and off completely.

She wore black knickers beneath but no brassiere, her pale back bearing a latticework of faint, silvery scars.

"Do you prefer I sit or stand?"

“It doesn’t matter.” She smelled like roses, even within this chapel stuffed with roses set in a rose garden. Cabal felt the irritation of being physically close to someone creep along his limbs, but he ignored it. Bandage. And… scars. And fine, yes, her breasts, which were right there, and there’s that half-succubine heritage for you. And where is Berenice, right now? Is she here? He overlapped the bandage, wove in the end.

Laurelai held still, her arms raised as Cabal wrapped her ribs in gauze. Unable to blush, she found something interesting to look at in the middle distance and tried not to think about how it had felt to sleep beside someone.

At least none of the ghosts were present.

Laurelai winced as the bandage was secured, but then looked down at the binding.

"Merci beaucoup."

“Je vous en prie.” Where had she got those scars? They had been done at the same time, or at least with the same implement. Had they been from her abuse at the hands of her husband? “I will be back in a few hours.” He hesitated. “Are you armed?”

Laurelai kept her back to Cabal and pulled the oversized shirt over her head. There was a hitch in her movements that betrayed the pain she tried to hide, but she still smiled.

"But I am a weapon, mon ami," Laurelai offered Cabal her hand for examination. Oval nails of lengths that at one time had been simply manicured had been transfigured by her change: now glass-like and sharp as obsidian. "Will you be alright alone?"

“I am not so slow and stupid that obtaining blood from a provincial hospital is a challenge.” He tugged a strap closed on the Gladstone.

"I would never suggest such a thing about you."

“The blood will be stored cold, though it was taken from a living person. Can you manage?”

Laurelai did not know that humans had such practices, and she gave Cabal an odd look. She very nearly asked him why, but decided it was not the time for questions. "I do not know, but I am not unwilling to try cold blood. I will rest while you are gone."

Cabal returned with three vacuum flasks of blood, several plain-wrapped rolls of bandage from the hospital supplies, a meat pie, tea, a package of iced biscuits, and a few other essentials. He had resigned himself to spending the day here. He was no good for work in his lab, with the concussion at its worst and the week’s fatigue still thick on him. He had learned from experience that the demands of a minor head trauma would not be cheated.

She wasn’t in the central area of the chapel when he entered. “Mademoiselle?”

The chapel had remained warm with the help of the little stove, and Laurelai had left candles burning.

She had not intended to sleep, but she had become lost in her imagination while amusing herself with a book of botanical illustrations. Dark circles were evident beneath her eyes, her slumbering breaths shallow and laboured.

“Mademoiselle? Are you here?” His movements were sluggish as he took off his hat and coat and hung them on a pair of broken processional crosses in the narthex. He thought he might have reopened the cut on his hand when he left over the hospital wall. “Have you anything in which to make tea?”

"Why are you so formal, mon ami?" Laurelai's quiet inquiry preceded her appearance, and she leaned against the screen to gather strength for the stairs. She brought her book with her: the object an excuse to cradle her wounded ribs.

"You may call me Laurelai." She sat down, breathless. "....you are bleeding. Why?"

“It will heal. I am formal because I prefer it. Try this.” He opened one of the shining flasks from the hospital and held it out to her. “Unless, I suppose, you would prefer a glass? Are you capable of eating conventional food?” He watched her move down the stairs, her knuckles white on the book she held.

Laurelai didn't know where to begin addressing the flask of blood, accepting the offered packet with both hands.

"I cannot eat the things you do. Human foods smell foul to me." she peered down at the anti-coagulant treated fluid within, and then up at Cabal. "I have never used a glass. I pour?"

“Essentially. In very small quantities.” Perhaps he should have brought a feeding-bottle.

Laurelai nodded and very carefully brought the flask to her lips. She sipped, soon getting the hang of the action as her thirst demanded more.

She did not stop until it was empty, grimacing as she lowered the deflated vessel.

"That was.... unpleasant. Cold."

“A pity. But let us hope it does you some good. Better to let the others wait, for now. Do you have anything in which I could heat water for tea?” He was thirsty, though not hungry, and he wanted to sit and recover.

Laurelai did not feel improved by the transfusion. She felt queasy; the chemically-preserved blood lacking the vital essence she required. She glanced at Cabal as she stood, trying to fight the first wave of nausea.

"...I have many kettles," she answered- then clapping a hand to her mouth as she sprinted outside.

Collapsing on all fours amid the rosebushes, Laurelai was sick for several minutes.

Cabal watched from a distance, arms crossed. He was not unsympathetic, but neither did he want blood vomit on his boots. When it subsided, he circled carefully towards her. “We have learned something, at least. Are you able to rise?”

Laurelai sat on the grass away from the mess as the nausea subsided, exhausted. She glanced up at him as she recovered what little remained of her dignity.

"That was terrible," Laurelai agreed, pulling herself up with the help of a tombstone. She leaned against it, sheer stubborn willpower keeping her upright. "I do not want any more of that. I must go to find someone. I must dress."

Cabal suppressed his curiosity about her reaction; perhaps he could get Horst to act as laboratory animal some day? He accompanied her back into the chapel. “Is it dangerous for you to hunt in this condition?” Laurelai was grey-pale in the candlelight. “Your experience must tell in your favour.”

Laurelai was silent for a time, her expression either thoughtful or begrudging. She bolted the chapel doors behind them, looking to be sure that Cabal observed the operation of the lock.

"It could be, if I am not careful. I would not be able to defend myself." Laurelai admitted, not glancing at her companion. She did not want pity, remaining stoic as she sought her leather clothes.

"I will feel better when I drink."

Never mind the kettle. Cabal repacked the Gladstone bag while Laurelai was behind the screen. HIs gun went in one pocket, his knife in another.

When she emerged, he stood by the table with his bag and his hat. “It seems you have a chaperone, mademoiselle. Let us be quick.”

Initially surprised, Laurelai accepted Cabal's offer of escort- under the agreement that he would not interfere unless she was threatened.

After that, it was a simple matter of a short but slow walk to the nearby village, where Laurelai sought the darkest side streets and dangerous back alleys. She did not need to caution her companion, which was a relief- he had his enormous revolver.

She lured several victims, all men who fell prey to her mesmeric allure. Practiced in her method, they did not fight or even struggle- hazy eyes and blissful expressions turned skyward as Laurelai fed.

She was acutely aware of her observer. For some reason which nagged at her psyche, Laurelai practiced (heretofore unknown) discretion and allowed her victims to stumble away in their afterglow- lives intact.

#cynaram #|| Cemetery Roses #v: Cemetery Roses #|| Drabble #|| save tag

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c64 · 7 years

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The Ultimate C64 Games List Have you ever wondered about the amazing Commodore 64 game list? Yes, we have too - there were loads of them. Problem is that is was a while ago now. This list was compiled to jog the memories:

Operation Wolf

roger frames buys budjiit games

fox fightsback

ace & ace II combo

bubble bobble

tantric mouse wars

home office

salsa con artist

commando ninjas

world flee

blood sparse

ruby of thermogington

jettison railway

ice band

spiderman vs magoo

caravan madness

hulk vs hogan

hunk attack

jet set billy

monkey tennis

score me

addis abbaba karate international +

balloon wars

cloud paste

live at budokan

boris yeltsin vodka challenge

banjo time constructor

emelyn hughes ‘super’ soccer

opium fright

shoot em up penelope

lagoon of carabon harbungo

open heart burglary

frost bandage

diamonds are for women

car spike wheel burst adventure

crazy communists

square man runs up ladder III

treasure island kittens

barrell falls down IV

spoke damage

princess kidnapped 8

undercarriage catastrophe

reminder PRO

Jazz North

Pub Golf

Avalon - Land of the Rust

SimPub

Pregnant Gymnastics

Womb Cook-up

Animal Olympics

NASA Pinball Fantasy

Jed saves christmas

Horace goes Knifing

Time Orifice

Axe-wielding Comedians

Karate Blister

Ornament Erector

Building Smoke Out

Q Bert the Revenge

Trellis Abundance

Titchmarsh v Oddie - Greenkeeper Challenge 88

Co-op Warriors

Sand Veterans

Grass feathers

Morose Wind

Scube Whackey

Escape from Liverpool

Puppy Smoker The Outburst

Roll yer Own Challenge

Hackney Masterblaster

Connect One

Purple Chins

Cotton Developer

Haircut Zest Fair

Trophy Masser

Race Kings Alive

Hazel Irvine’s Whirlwind Badminton

Jazz Rasta VI

Jensen Buttons Nipple Dash

Maze Bomber 909

Speed Chess

Curling Avenger

Rope Twisting Example

Scourge of Daxus

Roy Castle’s Record Breakers

Organ Flexology

Cliff Richard’s Ambiguous Soccer

Revenge of the Feminists

Wax cluedo

Tennis Trumpeteer II

Maximise the Point

Sheep Monopoly

Weight Gain Olympics

Travel Guise

Roger Mellie’s Ice Darts

The Legend of Les Dawson

Blanket Snitch

Tales of the Underformed

Grave Digger 6

Onion Pro 2

Moon Ship

Turbo Trousers

Turbo Walking

Welcome back to the Island of Penny Farthing

Breathing Challenge

Run for President [Ukraine Edition]

F1 Parcel

Awning Inventor

Cello Beat

Super Accelerator Fridge

Crazy Ambulance

Burst Kidney Mopup

Save China

Chemistry Ninja Teacher

Boat Painter Design

Dogs of Fury

Furry Dog*

Beyond the Forbidden Biscuit

The Handlebars of Hashani

Bird Mother

Audio Frenzy Piano Lessons

Short’s Lair

Chun King Farm Life

Jimmy White Teaches Typing

Cif Blaster

Defenders of the Fish

Sandal Behaviour

Alien Food

Thatcher goes to School

Bob Dillons Boxing Farce

Gorbachev plays Chicken

Wayne Gretsky’s Ice Wallet Charity Challenge

Armalyte III - Springburn

Popcorn Death

Vast Salt EU

Virtual Drudgery

Chain of Accordions

Runner Cities

Yellow Bist

Lost Sandals

Train Slow

Sherlock Holmes in The Year 2047

Lost and Profound: Darkness Shop

Dust Police

Borrowed Money

Internet Maze

Slipstream Cowboys

Guns of Dryness

Alpha Scabs

Crusty The Friendly Chimp

Rice Inflator (Super Pack)

Archie McPherson’s Weetabix Head

Denis Law’s Accent Challenge

Dougie Donnelly Dune of Hair

Graeme Souness Must Be Barking

Boon - The Game

Taggart Teens

Emmerdale Goes to Pitlochry

Coping with Eastenders for the under 5’s

Death in the Family Joke

Coloured Fights

Outdoor Darts

Wrist Truffle

White Water Snooker

Sea Quest Powder Seeker

Copious Spandex Run

Mr Motivators’ Taxi Challenge

Breakup

Flapjack

David Dimbleby's Amazon Adventure 12

Frost on Sunday

TV:AM The Early Years

Moira Stuart’s Music Creator

Upside Down Ice Cream Revolt

Vat of Galt Toys

Fist of Fireflies

Tunnel Browner

Stocking Ladder Bless

Lingerie Tycoon

Up & Down with Freddy Mercury

Guitar Slayer

Drum Shake Friends

Wacky Traffic Lights

Oreo Frisbee Games

Hedgehog Relax

Roofer

SimWoman

Bent Angler

Super Horses

Fishing for Tims

Ketamine Kraziness

Shout Appeal

Daz Crime Alert

Tension Ramble

Monitor Crossbones

Stookey Chase

Cardinal Hippos

Marigold Mincers IV

Shane Ritchie’s Up For Everest

War Kind

Question Slime

Bishop Sailor

Grudge Chess

Shoplifter 6

Bed trapper

Saloon Swingers 5

Yells of Tallmouth

Athletic Trombones

Wheel Smicer

Trends of Fashion-hope

Wacky Prostate

Bag A Cow

Pronunciation Fun

with Jackie bird

Landlord Dodge

Stuart Tipney’s Bread Throw Out

Date Checker

Gary Glitter’s Subliminal Message

Frozen Bibs of Babylon

Bricklaying Challenge

Wall Tidy

Reverse a Unicycle

SimCleaner

Pick Pocket Champion 1983

Glorified Yungs

Hungry Hungry Hernias

Marble vest

Ship To Shore

What’s My Rake

View My Braces

Burp: Deluxes

Romeo and Juliet Bravo

North vs South 2 : west vs East

Corner of Flatland

Spherical Eye Bless

Under the Oceans of Armpit Forest

Outrun Birmingham (Spaghetti Junction Edition)

Sweat like a bahookey

SimBarber

Developer Roundabout: Salt Lake Boredom Factor

Wig Breathe

Telecoms Tycoon

SimBeggar

Window Sparkler

Martian Crotchet

Bin Race: Baghdad to Bucks

Limpet Picker 4

Bout of Gout

Fist of Starfish Cave

Revenge of The Ponchoed Ponces

Peruvian Mountain Rally

Pyramid Scheme

Wheelchair Rollers

Disabled Relay

Plastic Bellamy

Escape From The Care Home

Quest Far There

Sigmund Freud’s Phallic Challenge

Location Location Location

Tombola

Pharmaceutical Births

Fun Run

Telethon

The Shat Cat Strikes Back

Poo Displease

Oxymoron - School Clown Dress

Nuns on The Run

Rub a Dug

SimWork

Girl Demander

Tiny Fire Use

Spell Cracker

VirtuaBus

Horse and Cabbage

Hippyhunt

Bug Wrestler

Elmer Fudd’s Bugle Fun

Sesame Street for Mute

Vaccine Madness

Sing-a-long-outhouse

Virgin Wedding

Carry Me Right

Existential Spam

Professor Caressor

Blind Spot

Dowary 4

Backwards Todel

SimFolkSinger

Austrian Summer Fun

Think Game

SimShirt

Mum’s Gone To Iceland

SimShoes

Dad Ravage

VirtuaBurp

Record Deal Blunderer

Vinyl Earth

Pork Love

Candid Carrots

Testament of God

Jasper Carrot’s Comedy Puke

Slug Slugger

fISHMONGER 8

Javelin Jackson

Action Babes 7

Deniable Door Whizz

What’s My Remainder

Shave Me Doris

Ferrari Shaving Adventure

SuperToboggan

Fire Ski

Trowel Turmoil

Soap Detector

SimPigeon

Permit Chief

VirtuaCurtain

Wander Beyonder - Galaxy of Hands

Foot Small

Failed Janine Nurse Player

Bonnie Langford’s Dive of DEath

Cheesy Cheeks 9

Teryaki Throw Throw

Organised Library

Chrome Crunch

Defeat The Dragon XII

Sleeve Beast

Snorkel of Skeleton Mask

Bilge Crusader

Derivative Nonsense

Chip Shop Challenge

Fallopian Tube Gatherer

Short Sharp Shock

Public Pool 2

The Remorse of King Tooth Prize

Mobile Shop Catch

Dentist Revival

Pizzaboy

Return of the Shoulder

Attack of the Maharajah

Farm Variety

Ring Sting VI

Pokey Barracus O

Pyromania [Schools Edition]

Canteen Calamity

Scratch My Scurvy

A Team of Guys

Commercial Insertion

Alien Bold

Walk to Run

Talk Show Live

Wacaday

Tickle Me Hazel

Get to Doctor Green Helmet Arrival

Kirsty Gallacher’s Pony Tail

Bube Tube

Stu’s News

Finger By Jove

SPinach Wars

TrolleyDash IV

Coco Bianco

Can Lift Channel 4: The Game

Spider and Kite

Really Big, Really Small Advent of Tetrapak

Drainblock: Plumber Hero Chronicles

Clammy Elbow

Rinse, Spin and Wash-o-matic

Virtual Carving

Aqua Fridge 4

Milk Charge: None Today Edition

Dose of Lactose

Fruit for Fuel

SEGA Gums

World Cup Baking

Trauma Recentness

Void of Linda

Calculate My Room

Slow Slow Slow, Now Fast

Myrtle’s Spongy Threat

Round the Town: Hull

KLIX Vending Machine Panic

Suitable Suit

Trinidad vs Tobago

Coma Dream Alert

Lose Your Tail

Sudden Trump

Castle of Rugs

Dreadful Quincy

Murder You Write

Salt n Pepa: My First Lyrics

Ferry to the Island of Bins

Up to Maximum

Thanks Goth: Black It Out Decision for Survival

Thorax and King: Temple of 10 Thumbs

Shave or Swim

Spar - Double Time Price Wars

Wooden Office

Windbush: the Quest for Haribo

Thing Commander

Gusset Sweeper II

Military Cocktails: An Interactive Guide

Spillers Winalot

Gus Hiddink: Ladies-Man

Spinal Injury 4

Dungrudder

Dungrudder II

Alan Titchmarsh’s International Samba Karaoke

Gluehead 2 - Back to the Bag

Dogwrestler

Virtual Biscuit Pro Edition

Future Boots

Horace gets an enema

Goth v Ned - The Reckoning

Roy Hudd’s hut folding 3

fondant wheelbarrow challenge

squat thrusting in high denmark with Mr. T

git that skateboard oot ma bed

2 fast and furious - the angry diet

skeptics ranch 4

whippet trigger

cod’s extreme bass fishing

Meatloaf’s leotard attack

smashing gantry with len ganley

cornish nuisance III

janitor pleaser

janitor pleaser II

janitor pleaser III

interactive janitor pleaser 3D

sing-a-long-a-jim-diamond

belgian ring stretch 4

heather mills dance off

sulk or bulk

extreme rabbit riding 9

tony roper’s pope trophy

ship shape and bristol fashion (twin pack)

dan hipgrave’s hip grave

catarrh hero 2

Joseph Holt’s cow safari

barking cats 3

Debbie Gebbie

Rally through Tesco

Piano Catcher

Harold Bishop’s Hutch Touching Compendium

Cardboard Harbour

Guess What’s in the Baxterbox

Extreme Welsh Dentistry

10 Disciples Tickly Bits [denmark edition]

Zebra Dancing 2

Tractor Painting 3

Cindy Crawford’s Virtual Cooperage Pro

Anderson Shelter Designer International

Ambulance Neglecting

Pigeon Surprise!

Chilly B’s Cartography Masterclass

Paralympic Legends 1985

Angry Sue’s Penthouse Disaster

SimFlorist

Amazing Mace

Grimsby Love-In

Trilby Mechanic

Karl Lewis’s 6 Meter Dash Pro

Smoker 8

Collateral Ramage

Horse Drawn Prawn

Firebomb Kirkcudbright

Space Huff

Star Wars: Jedi High Street

Ooft Ooft 2

Flyhunter

Nadeem the Hamster

Bucky Bash II

Schnitzel Wars

Derrick Organ’s Calamity Chinfest

Malky Malky II: The Chib

Venison Crayola

Peter Shilton’s Saucey Canary

French Letter of the Law

Penguin Squeezing

Sodastream Challenge

Arthur C Clarke’s Mysteries of Dunfermline

Skin Complaint 2

Felicity Kendal’s Migratory Kennel

Thigh Trouble III

VirtuaWendy

Pebbledash Apprentice

Thrush Reduction School

Alan Randy Tanner Shows You How

Sim 9 O’clock News

Adult Colostomy

Ray Mears’ Survival Chimney

Brunch Arranger

Pro Pencil Throw

The Continuing Adventures of Nice ‘n’ Soapy

Lunchy Munchy

SimKettle

VirtuaCarpet

Snack bar etiquette

arm harm 4

saucy haulage 9

swimming with trousers on

Thora The Exploder

High Jinks on Highway

Wrist Exposure

Looking After God’s Neck 6

Frog Polishing

Harrison Ford Harrassment

Shampooing Buffalo with Betty Murchie

Unravelling Scobie’s Quotient

Alistair’s Wheels

High Speed Loaf Assembly - Knead For Speed 2

Detolionia - A World of Disinfectant

Coal Punishment

Table with Bilston Glen

Who Is Douglas Bader?

Sharpen Your Trowel with Baden Powell

Bambi Leg Stabilisation

Pimp My Sideboard

Crematorium Capers

The Burning Coupon

Fireplace Customiser featuring Annette Benning

Force 8 Golfing Atrocity Pro-Am

Trout Swiping (Mexican Edition)

Village Idiot Racing 2

Fridge Racer 4

Parrot Force 7

Amish Disease Aversion

Pro-Am Celebrity Road Kill 3

Major James Hewitt’s Blew It Game

Advanced German For Industrial Foundries with Keith Chegwin

I’m A Celebrity, Shave My Arms 8

Mortar Mixing With Fiona Bruce

Self Harm with Hartley’s Jam Jam, Arm, Harm, Barn (Farm Edition)

Deadly Riddles with Bo Diddley, Nicolas Ridley, Ken Dodd, Dodi al Fayed and the Cast of Grease

Not Poodles but Pot Noodles 2

Shed Holder vs. Vijay Singh Sing-a-long a Hitler Hillman Hunter 2

Hearing Aid

Beige Chevette 5

Ian Botham’s County Balls

PramFace: The Revenge

Nebulous Nockers

Hot Knifin’

Anton Rogan’s Potato Scone

Monotonous Madness

Sally Magnuson’s Nicotine Buzz

Doncaster Moose Pulling

Beer Goggle Challenge- Ultimate Edition

Pebble Mill - The Platform Game

Davro Goes West

Jelly Fish Juggling with Jilly Cooper

Ballroom Thighs - A Game For All The Family

Dog Plop Monopoly

Frank Tibbs’ Unanimous Cave

Tripping Over Thimbles 4

Pebble Mill Pebble Dash

Humourous Toilet Noises 3

Carry On Corduroy 5

Drain Savage 2

Radio 4 Hoar Sampler

Binman Challenge

Boris Becker’s Jazz Complaint

Callcentre Supervisor Pro

Timpsons Manager 1986

Volcano Cheese

The Lemon Vampires of Dudley

Pablo Balloon’s Hernia Diagnosis

Virtua Social Carer

Eric Gluttony

Trouser Press Sabbatical

Alarm! Run! Knit!

Whitly Bay Mesh Collector

Martini Hinge Challenge

Vole Puncher 3

Tropical Slavery 3

Slattery Battery Chat

The Ambivolent Miner’s Chin Problem

Dog Warmer 9

Piano Stroker 2

Brian Hater

Brian Massacre

The Eyes of Salamine

Wingnut

Ruthless Removal of Wind

Egg Rugby 5

International Spine Swapping

Grand Prix - Live from Borehamwood

Farmed Nicaraguan Debris - Collector’s Edition

Spongy Marmite

Fun N Games in Chernobyl with Cheryl Baker

Fun N Games in Chernobyl II without Cheryl Baker

Semi-Pro Badger Excuses 5

Face Biter III

Eric Clapton’s Dead Shoes

Stop! Or my Mom will Shoot Ike

Kate Stits

Dawn French’s Fantasy Football

Giant Priority

Extendable Alien Hairdriers

A Masterclass with Ruud Hullit

Greggs Tycoon

Nail Filing with Stefan Edberg

SimLibrarian

Aardvark Juggling

Any Swedgers?

Civil Engineering Attack Force

Bible Edit III

Cactus Comparing with Terry Waite

Gunther’s Tasty Leather

Health Challenge

Catastrophe Pants

Superhero Draughts

SimJanitor 8: Smooth Moperator

Breath Club

Biting and Chewing

The Goose 3

Armadale

Sangsters 2

Extreme Chinese

Ned Poultry Farmer

Diabolical Gran Odour 6

Camp Action Man

Topless Skateboard Nun 2

Solving Simultaneous Equations Under Water (Bridlington Edition)

Hake Take with Less Than Jake (Celebrity Edition)

The Paul Anka Diaries

Makeover : Wallpapering Your Face 5

Blackhead Removal with Scaffolding Poles 8

High School Musical Shoot Out

Bad Air Hockey (Rotten Egg Edition)

Failed Airport Terrorism Attempt 2

International Banana Terrorist 3

Conventional Bra Wearing

Terrapin 2

split pea glee

gaseous monkey

Cheddarfest revival

moonfaced lung toucher 4

attack of the angry jam ballast

relentless margarine 3

buttergutter

clutter game

wasp wing clasp assembly

futurismysticalismism presented by Kenny Leveritt

pork chop aftermath

strict rector workings 5

detected vim spillage 2

simCOLOSTOMY

Gale Force

Pike Gardening

Ribble Valley Larvae Attraction

Marmite Spite

Sarah Brightman’s Secret Pro-Am Celebrity Tench Cremation

High Speed Paralympic Disasters 5

Savoury Tights 4

Advanced Scone Vandalism with Ruth Maddock

Workplace Victimisation Art 2

Egg Poaching with Prince Charles

Varnishing with Confidence Iggy Pop versus Eggy Pope (Slovenian Edition)

Sloth Pinching with Ewan McGregor

Shoot Deirdre Off Coronation Street As Many Times As You Like

Polished Ginger Bison Falling Over 3

Lego Smashing

Snorting-A-Surgically-Removed-Spaghetti Line Back Through Your Nose Championships with Keith Floyd

Slippery Cats Finger Sizery

Vernacular Spectacular - Regional Heats - Norway Vs Newcastle

Disabled Horse Fury 5

Turtle Hurlers

Des Lynam’s Mum

Horse v Dolphin: Requiem

rentokil bill 2

rat boy 9

cardboard harbour 9

vote for a wine side dish

Ministry of Justice: Writing the Constitution Sim Local Councilor

Puggy Paradise

Pan-London Kid Chase

Pirates on the Pond

Junior Project Manager III

Decide to Read Again

Nokia vs Motorola: Find the Phone Charger

Feed the Kids Coal (Bono Demo)

Tom Clancy’s Splintered Bell

Jellied babies

Shave the Llama

Jew Harp Hero (Harp not included)

Mum Trashers 4

SimSTD

ActuaMince

Square Peg Round Hole Challenge

Blockman vs DragonThing

Menopausal Madness

Ringbinder II

Equine Manouevers

The Mysteries of Michael Elphick’s Port in a Storm

Haberdasherie Heat

LGV STD

Half a Cider And You’re Laughing

Humourless Hags Return to Castle Frottage

Hungry Hungarian Housewives

Fake Tan Dylan

Super Who Did That Thunder in Tannadice

Swollen River Wheelchair Uh-Oh

Ruby Murray’s Curry from Anything

How Clean is your Mouth

Cilit Bangers

Why’s Dad in the Furnace: HD

R Kelly’s Gotham City

Gerard Kelly’s Diet City

Kendal Misery

Buff Women Crush

Supermarket Nuts

Dry Off - You’re Wet Too!

Xenophobic Elderly Home

Easy Rider: Trikes and Quads

Rise Up and Get Back To Bedford

Alan Sugar’s Finger Fiasco

Private Investigator: Carbon Footprints

Snakes on a Phone

Phone a Snake

Snakephone

Phoney Snake

Children In Need: One Can Survive

The Canterbury Compendium Featuring: Sinister Minister

The Godies ft. Hymn Brooke Taylor

Virtual Nun

Cheeses Of Nazareth

Nun Surfing: Birds of Pray

Dogs drink wine

nacho panic

ostrich borstal

bombscare in sacred cities of spain

spiral binding awards

biro spinning awards

spiro binning awards

Thora Hird’s Extreme Stairlift

Gammy Dodger 2

Hell Monger 5

Tag Nutter 8

simClaw

Mayonnaise Babies 2

Kissing With Incontinence

Dances With Wolverines

Come Dancing 3D

Dumb Dating 4D

Interactive Pylon Climbing

Fundamental Dish Cloth Equations

Haulage Wars 1 - Norbert Dentressangle vs. Eddie Stobbart

Haulage Wars 2 - David Heeps vs. C. Hinds Potato Merchants

White Van Driver Fashion Show

Greasy Dinosaurs Almanac

Terrible Tearing Sounds

Baste The Family

B&Q BBQ Standoff

May’s Rotary Chuckling

Spontaneous Fury

Induced Tap Dancing with Andy May

Your Lip’s Burst 2

Attack of the 40 foot Gingerbread Postman

The Dalgleish Index Escalator

Arthur Askey’s Crop Spraying

Alsatian Alien

Cow Painter 5

Impossible Cornering Technique with Ayrton Senna

Ann Frank 3D

Chop: Stand: Force: Interactive Cumnock Gala Day with Obie Trice

Dougie Donnelly’s Battenberg Cake Jumper Confusion Game

Mince Rinsing with Peter Alice

Wife Swab 3

Knife Swap 4

Gnome Drool Collecting for Beginners

Anger Manager IV

Uncle Tony’s Special Cupboard

Spilt Milk

Virtual RAC Guy Challenge

Michael Ballack’s Ludo Madness

Archie McPherson’s Apron of Chance

Gulls of Fury

Monty Don’s Embroidery Masterclass

Spammy the Dog

Rumbelows

Windows C64 edition

Mr. Minit’s Key Cutting Japes

Saved By The Bell End 3

Asp The Family - Snakecharmer Edition

Snoop Doggy Dog’s Dance Studio Workout

Taming The Shrew with Lena Zavaroni

VirtuaConkers

Sectarian Dolphin 4

Fly Phishing by J.R. “Hacker” Hartley

The Goth Temple of Gloom

The Hannible Lectures

simBiscuit (bourbon special)

Evostick Party

Bri-Nylon Guy 3

Skinflat Survival

Eaglesham Startrek

Bees In The Loft

Sandra Sandra

Justin and Colin’s Guide To Deep Sea Pipe Welding

Wayne Rooney Loony Toon Room for Kids

Pheasant Milkfloat Run

Late Ex in Latex 6

Dick Advocaat’s guide to coctkail mixing

To The Manor Braun

Tandoori Roti 3

Murder She Roti

Silence of The Prams

Emlyn Hugh’s Omelette Challenge

Josh Wink’s Tiddleywinks

Elvanfoot Butterfly Massacre

Carstairs

Monster Metros

Fuzzy-Felt Masterclass with Yuri Gagarin

Predator Paint

Eel Chair Regatta

Big Pants Comedy Skydiving

Bang! Bang! Bang! Oops…

Swindlin’ Yokels with Roman Abramovich

Outrun Bolton

Tony Blair’s Prole Crusher

Heather The Weather’s Fishnet Frenzy

Nick Drake’s Morose Warblings

Ape Attack!: Wishaw

Patrick Moore’s Tedium Personified

Chicken Gun

Barry Robson’s Beguiling Napper

C5 Grand Prix

Roll Me A Fat One and Get They Dishes Done

Brahim Hemdani’s Unremarkable Competence

Virtual Soup of the Day

The Rancid Horns of Leith

Super-Monday-Banana-Death

Ask Me A Graham

Undercarriage Return

Steve Ovette’s Erratic Frog

Tennis Stuart

Bomb Acrobat

SimAlcoholic

Girth Alarm 3

Alan Hanson’s Amatuer Granny Revival

Pickpocket Pro

Chinchilla Wrestling

Crouching Greyhound Hidden Danger

Poodle Judo with Judith Chalmers

Hedge Availability

Overwhelmed Whelk Farmer 2

Cupboard of Lentils 7

Sloth Borstal 2

Pro-Am Prawn Wrestling

Custard, Mustard and Other Rhyming Condiments

Cat Litter Lego

Jimmy Nail’s Book Corner

Navigating Cumbernauld Whilst Aggrevated

Hanah Barbera’s Meat Collective

Tensile Strengthometer

Betty Boothroyd’s Hooverathon

AfroClam

Attack of The Four Lipped Maneater

The Wizard’s Sleeve

J-Lo’s Bum Shelf Warm

Salad Dressing with Trinny and the Bigger One

Keith Floyd’s Damp Side of the Moon

Soviet TicTacs: Taste of War

World Cup Eczema

Mum vs Dad: Grab a Plate

Upside of Death VI

Ulti-Mugger: Wallet and Watch, Ta

Soft and Gentle 3: Roll On

MC Hammer’s World of Pantaloons

Restore Pet Cemetary

Audible Charm: Legend of the Gentle Trump

That’s Not My FInger!

Zoo of ham-fed Gibbons

Wake Up! You’re Not Dead Yet

Wake Up! I’m Limbless and There’s a Fire

Drifting Away: Grandad’s Final Slumber Party

Pyjamas.. At School?

Neil Buchanan’s Antler Attack

Cash In the Attic, Now In My Attic

Get Pregnant 5 - Civilised Scamming

Soda Stream: Hunt for the Gas Canister

Soda Stream II: But It Says Cola Flavoured!?

Invest in Me, I’m a Maniac

London Tube Track Scraper

Armitage Shanks

Virtual Log

Death Row Buckaroo

Labour Backbench Cage Fighting

Floaty The Finless Waterbeast

Vauxhall Advert Creator

Dragged 150 Yards: Bradford Joyride

Old Spice: She’s Yours

Unicycling for Pensioners

Unmentionable Chalky Taste 6

Island Pancake Mixing with Seb Blatter

Filthy Ventriloquist Stories

Eddie Vedder’s World Of Shreddies

Camp Ramp

Tobogganing with Wogan

Annie Mack’s Caramac Slacks

Irene Maiden 10

Sausage Jockey 3

Cured Ham and Other Medical Miracles

Mud Wrestling with Thora Hird

Sim Haulage

Sim Heelage

Sim Cabbage

Sim Charles Babbage

Sim Gym

Liquor & Poker - Rude Casino Edition

Pass The Dutchy of Cornwall From The Left Hand Side

High Heel Teeterage 3

Esther Rantzen’s Root Vegetable and Tuber Hilarity Fest

Nun Paintball 4

Arm Wrestling Dentist 9

Julie Andrew’s Liver Salts 3

Sanitary Owl Radio 4

Bus in a Leotard

World’s Strongest Nan

Hector Sylvester’s Turquoise Noise

Ambulance Chaser 2

Foam Party at The Foam Centre

Press and Mend

Touch the Hutch

Mastic Badger

Surname Challenge ft. Yvonne Goolagong vs. Peter Oosterhouse

Mast Blast Bomb Scare 3

Going Through At The Back 3

Pinball Lizard 5

Dancing With Oxygen

The Dimbleby Conundrum

Virtua Council Gritter

Rampant Carpark

Icarus Manifold’s Welsh Poster Collection

Religious Gardening with Moses and his Hoses

Air Rifle Chooser with Bishop Desmond’s .22

Ballet Dancing with Bishop Desmond’s TuTu

Slurry Avoidance ft. Alvin Stardust

Celebrity Quinine

Abatoir Jubilee Beef

Geek Orthodox

Fudge Assembly

Relax, Prance, Peel

Paul Ince’s “What’s in the Fridge?”

Super Kennel Admin

Attack, Sleep, Trapeze!

Verify My Post

Saral Ping’s Finch Adjuster

Intermediate Curve Basting

Combustable Constable 5

Fancy Cheese 3

Hazel Butters 2

Lloyd Cole’s Motion Commotion

Vermin Descriptor 2

Tray Balance in Ballantray

Fluid Choppery with Glen Blantyre

Predatory Tory Trap

Inflatable Vatican

Marzipan Tarzan

That’s Barry, Eh?

Marmite Termite

Octogenerian Hair Piece 5

Caustic Frog 3

Fridge Racer

Flouride Jockey

Algae Mechanic

The Baghdad Irritation

Crazy Meerkat Forklift Racing

Zak Marvel’s Gaseous Print Revival

Easter Toolbox

Winkle Picker II

Virtua Morrisons

Face Camp

Holy Moly - the unluckiest Mole in the Field

Kays - Catalogue of Errors

Wunder-Hat

Look Out! Too Late.

Pleasant Pheasant

Mike Tyson’s Rapid Wrestling

Reservoir Logs

An Audience With Kirk Broadfoot

Salami Origami

Who’s in the Pot?

Deep-Sea Monopoly

Frank Lampard’s Mousetrap Masterclass

Aztec Leg

Kitchen Thespian

Scaffolding Terror

Somalian Pirates

Take Guernsey

Treacle or Turnip?

Olympic Jail

Sweat on Me and I’ll Vomit

Dubious Quality Controller 5

Quiff Aligner

Re-pot That Geranium, You Fool

Soft Furnishing Spectacular

Dad! You’re My Brother!

Peter Kincaid. Now you Try

12lbs of Something

Vosene - The Forgotten Chemical

Viv Lumsden’s Pit of Terror

Halfords: Den Of Incompetence

Rubber Stamp Misery

The Beechgrove Garden Presents: High Tedium

Monks On A Bus

Gordon The Gopher’s Amsterdam Exploits

Imaginary Futures: President Trump

Tetrapak!

DIY Watercolor: Pylons of Tyneside

Paradise Lumbago

Post Office Manager: Bungled or Burgled

Crass Bandicoot

Chequered Flag F1 Racist Challenge

Err, That’s Not Shampoo

BANG! Search For The Dirt, Limescale & Rust

These are all available to buy on Ebay, apart from 619 which they actually forgot to produce.

#c64 #commodore #computer #homecomputer #64k #amiga #games #cassette #loading #stuff #retrograming #lists #video games #homecomputing

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