#god like i ask for holds on things and even if i feel iffy abt it later i still buy bc i felt bad for asking | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shiroichiban · 1 year

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Shiro, I love your angst. May I ask angsty with happy ending with Z? Maybe, smth caused by his fame or- OH! HOW ABT! Reader is also close friends with Robaire. Z and Reader likes each other but have yet to confess. (You see where I’m going?). Z is jealous of Rob but never said anything buy when Z catches Rob on top of Reader (Reader tripped and Rob tried to help. Maybe? Can be smth else), he kinda snapped as in “fuck this. I give up. Aight I’m out”.

Idk rlly, I just love angst with happy ending and you’re the angst provider so I trust you

praise be for the manga has inspired my return (these requests have been sitting here for like a good year i am so sorry 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️, but god this prompt is too good to let sit)

jealous! aaron z x reader headcanons~

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　you are so down bad for z　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

i'd like to say you and z have been dancing around each other for awhile, like deadass doing the viennese waltz around your feelings if you will. (he's too shy to make a move and you're too unsure about his feelings for you despite the very clear affection).

i mean, you can't really blame anyone in this situation because why would you ruin a perfectly good friendship with romance?? you, z, and robaire were essentially THE highschool trio of friends. no matter how iffy the situation got between you three your foundation was rock solid.

with robaire being the overachiever and z being the shy and stoic guy he is, you naturally became the mediator between the two. often telling off robaire for not taking breaks and enjoying himself, and encouraging z to put himself out there more. essentially, getting them to live a little.

you had to admit though you were much closer to z, while robaire had his own things going on that didn't often involve your trio, z was always there in your corner. you are each others' biggest cheerleaders even as adults <33

this closeness slowly blossomed into feelings as you watched z grow from the sidelines...

It was a quiet night in the dance studio, you were helping Aaron film a fun freestyle choreography he had just come up with. Were your arms aching from the various takes you needed to do? Yeah, but for that smile it was well worth it. His expressions were perfect, his movements sharp and well-practiced, to say the least he was in perfect form.

The song ended and the CD stopped echoing from your speakers, you let Z hold his ending pose for a few seconds before stopping the recording. "That time was really good! Just like the last trillion takes~" You teased, already knowing Z was growing embarrassed from the way he pouted at you.

"Yeah, I'm satisfied... Wanna head out for dinner?" He suggested as he jogged over to where you were standing right beside his bag. Grabbing a towel and quickly wiping over his face as well as the back of his neck. "I know it's late so you could stay over tonight..." He added softly, that was the tone Z used whenever he was trying to play off something he really wanted. How could you say no?

"Sure! But you should go change, all the offense when I say you reek of sweat." You giggled to hide the excitement that was bubbling in your stomach. Spending the night at Z's as adults was much more fun than in highschool, the two of you would stay up and drink for a bit before cuddling (platonically!) on the couch to watch movies. "I'll wait out in the hall." You suggested as you began to step out but one muscular arm proceeded to block you—

"I reek huh? Well then, before you go how 'bout I give you a thank you hug~?" Z asked teasingly before quickly grabbing you by the waist.

"Noooo!!" You laughed, "Ugh you nasty!" Quickly writhing out of Z's hold, you jumped out of his arms and bolted for the door. "Just go and change before I drown you in perfume!" You threatened before shutting the door and taking a seat on one of the hallway benches.

You took a few deep breaths before finally letting the warmth spread on your cheeks, god that was embarrassing... You wondered if Z could tell your heart was racing, all of his usual actions have been taking a different effect on you lately and you hated it. Your relationship with him was supposed to be the one steadfast and assured thing in your life, these feelings would only rip that away.

Before you could lament on your feelings too much, another familiar voice called out to you.

"Hey (name)! I didn't know you were here too!" Robaire called out joyfully, carrying a seemingly forgotten shopping bag as he exited the office next to the dance studio. It was weird to admit that you and Robaire drifted after highschool, sure you were still friendly and familiar with each other, but your relationship didn't quite retain the same quality as yours with Z.

Robaire casually took a seat next to you, placing the bag next to him. "It's been awhile since I've seen you alone, usually you and Z are joined at the hip!" He exclaimed as he leaned his back against the wall, a nostalgic smile taking over his features. "Not that that's a bad thing of course. I'm happy you two are still close!" The last part felt... forced. Maybe Robaire lamented letting you drift away to Z's side so easily?

"It's honestly easy to be around him, although he's changed a lot since highschool." You reflected evenly, watching as Robaire exhaled and gently leaned his head on your shoulder. Now this was nostalgic, you remembered the days when Robaire would seek you out to take a break from all the stress and responsibilities he put onto himself. Letting his head rest on you just as it did now as he closed his eyes to let himself have a moment of silence.

Robaire regretted taking on so much at the expense of leaving your relationship in the dust.

"Does that mean... I'm still the same?" Robaire asked, his tone showing genuine curiosity.

You thought about that for a bit, although more mature and knowing how to pace himself a little better now, you couldn't truly pinpoint if Robaire had changed in your eyes or not. "You're still my Bear." You settled on that answer, he retained his dependability and sense of responsibility from when you were teenagers, but you could tell he still craved affection and acknowledgement every now and then. Same old Bear.

"Your Bear huh..."

Even from a distance Z could see the grin forming on Robaire's face from where he stood and he hated it. He felt invisible to the one person who always saw and looked in his direction, and it hurt.

to say the least, z and robaire's relationship was complicated.

they care for each other! they really do it's just...

everyone saw robaire, everyone looked at robaire, from highschool until now he was the one who had everyone's attention and expectations. and yes yours included but you never left z out, you never left him behind.

even when everyone's eyes were on robaire you looked for him, when everyone noticed robaire you made sure to notice him. everyone else could take the backseat when it came to you because you were z's priority. z almost felt bad depending on you this much but you proved time and time again you would be there for him and make him feel worth it, that alone made him so unbelievably happy.

maybe this was some sort of punishment for him being selfish, for him monopolizing your feelings, for him falling in love with you, any other rhyme or reason for the building pit in his stomach his heart named it. he should have expected this, he should have known.

fuck this, he's done. if you wanted robaire and robaire wanted you, he'd let it happen. it's the least he could do after so selfishly keeping you by his side this whole time.

"Welp, that's enough reflecting. Do you need a ride home?" Robaire offered as he detached himself from your shoulder. Ignoring the bubbling feeling in his chest at the expectation of your answer.

"Oh, I'm having dinner with Aaron actually..." You rejected politely, you could see his green eyes falter slightly before quickly returning to normal as he nodded. Standing up from the bench, he grabbed the forgotten shopping bag then turned back to face you, "We should hang out again sometime, us three. I miss you guys y'know?"

At that you smiled, the thought of rekindling your friendship with Robaire was nice. "Definitely." You replied, waving him off before standing up, now how long does it take to change a damn shirt? Z loved complaining when you took a while to change but he sure was taking his sweet time.

You walked down the hallway back to the dance studio, your footsteps echoing as the lightbulbs blinked above you. Was their agency... always this creepy at night? Now you were a bit scared. "Z?" You called out as you saw a tall figure in the hallway, "There you are!"

Sighing in relief you ran towards Z, your friend's back was turned to you however even in the darkness of the dimly lit hallway you recognized the same old worn out t-shirt he liked to wear in his down time. You got it for him on his birthday after all. "I was worried you left me there for a minute!" You laughed as you went to grab his hand, but surprisingly he pulled away.

"What happened to Robaire?" He asked, with a tone of voice... You hadn't heard him use that in a long time, monotone yet polite, one he only ever pulled out when talking with strangers. "I thought you were gonna go home with him instead." His back was still turned to you, he was refusing to look at you? Why...

"Are you okay?" Was your first instinct to ask, grabbing his wrist and pulling him closer to you. Trying to grab ahold of the situation, "Where did all these Robaire questions come from? I thought we were going back to your place?"

When he finally turned around to face you it was with an apathetic expression. After all those years of friendship and learning his expressions you couldn't read him for once. Aaron wouldn't meet your eyes and it hurt.

"We were. Until it seemed like you wanted to go home with him instead." Z grumbled under his breath, his eyes hardening as he tried to pull his arm out of your grasp once more but you wouldn't let him this time.

"Aaron, talk to me. Why are you making these assumptions when I already made plans with you?" You groaned, frustrated, it was as if you had just met all over again and you hated it. "Did I do something wrong? What happened, why are you so upset all of a sudden?!"

"Because I love you even though I know I'm not enough."

That took you aback.

First of all, Aaron loves you?! Second of all, he thinks he's not enough?! Third of all... Actually there is no third of all, you were just gonna get this boy home so you could have a proper heart-to-heart and talk it out.

fast forward to you shoving z into his own car and driving him home, with you literally grabbing onto his hand and dragging him to the vehicle, you had the spare key cause he had no one to give it to so there was no issue getting in.

z was supposed to be the quiet one here, so with you immediately going silent after his (admittedly horrible) confession, he was worried that he had completely ruined the relationship between you two. maybe he was too rough, too stoic to properly convey that he just wanted to see you happy even if it was with robaire... (i mean he definitely was but still!)

so to his surprise, the moment you got to his house you sat his ass down at his coffee table and began heating up leftovers for dinner. anytime he'd awkwardly move from his position in an attempt to help you'd give him the death stare which made him immediately sit back down.

you slammed down two bowls of chinese fried rice and some spring rolls onto the table before sitting across from him, clasping your hands together before seriously looking at him and saying; "Talk. To. Me."

You ate your food morosely across from Aaron as he hesitantly narrated the moment he saw you and Robaire sitting together on the bench. The moment he got to Robaire leaning on your shoulder and calling him ‘your Bear’ and his following thought process you absolutely wanted to face palm. This stupid boy... This stupidly, emotionally repressed boy—

You casually set your bowl aside as you walked over to Aaron, immediately engulfing him in the warmest hug you could muster. Feeling him stiffen before relaxing in your hold as he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his head into your shoulder. "Oh Aaron, you foolish foolish boy." You chuckled as you nuzzled your face into his hair. "You're so lucky I love you."

The moment he heard that his face shot up, his eyes meeting yours for the first time that night. And slowly you could see him emerge, your Aaron, as tears built up in his eyes at hearing you loved him too. "R-really...?" He whispered, you could practically feel the longing in his voice hoping that what you just said was true.

"After all those years of being your friend have I ever lied to you? Even once?" You asked gently, cupping his cheek in the palm of your hand as he sniffled, feeling the warmth spread across his cheeks that inevitably mixed with the tears that started falling from his eyes.

"I'm s-sorry... For bein' mean to you..." He tried to sob as quietly as he could but at this point Z just couldn't hold back anymore. "I love you... so so so much it hurts." You brought your friend back into your embrace and sighed softly, pressing a kiss to his hair as he buried himself into your chest asking for forgiveness.

"I'm sorry too." You apologized, "God do you know how long I've been pining for you? I was just too cowardly, I didn't want to ruin what we already had."

"We're both cowards I guess..." Z sniffled one last time before chuckling. More of in relief that you seemed to forgive him and the fact that he didn't fuck everything up with his outburst.

"Pff, yeah." You agreed and gently took Aaron's face into your hands, cupping his cheeks in your palms before pressing kisses all over his face. "But really though, I love you. I love you Aaron." Repeating it twice, properly announcing your feelings in a way that left no doubts or insecurities.

"I love you too (name)..." Aaron grinned before pulling you down on top of him again, kissing you with all of the affection he had held back for so many years.

The two of you did more than cuddle on the couch at the end of the night~

with your relationship solidified you, aaron, and robaire could finally repair the issues that had sprouted between the three of you.

aaron's slight inferiority complex combined with robaire's desire to achieve was definitely a deadly duo to deal with, and you're still working on it to this day. but with you by his side aaron was definitely more self-assured, you gave him the confidence he needed to be more forward about his feelings.

for now, aaron loves you and you love him, that's all that matters.

#4town #4town x reader #4town aaron z #aaron z x reader #request #i am back and holy shit is this long #i didnt even realize how long this ended up being #hi anon sorry for keeping you waiting for like... half a year #4town headcanons #4town fanfic #anyways robaire unrequited love era

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haliaiii · 4 months

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fav percy jackson character and WHY‼️ also a character u didn’t like/were iffy abt as a child but relate to now

Ok imma be real I never had a proper proper fav? But if I had to choose (this is gonna be really basic I know) I’d say Percy 😭

Not just bc he’s the main character but I really liked him a lot as a kid and even now I still fuck w him. He’s just great and holds a lot of emotional connection cause when I started reading pjo, we were almost the same age and now that I’m rereading pjo, we’re literally both seniors in high school 💀, although when I was a kid I think I also liked Leo a lot too, pretty much any character that had a funny pov

As for a character I relate to now it’s 100 percent jason

So when I was a kid and started getting into the Percy Jackson universe, I didn’t really know where to start (cause it was like my first proper series), but the ppl at school were reading heroes of Olympus so I assumed that was where it started. I knew who Percy bc I read the Greek Gods book prior so I was very confused to open The Lost Hero and there was this guy named Jason instead 😭. I didn’t really like or dislike him, but I was surprised to find out many didn’t like him. I think if there was another series that had focused on Jason like how there was one with Percy then it would’ve made public opinion of him way better tbh, bc I feel like people didn’t like him cause they were comparing him to Percy. Anyway I didn’t really think much of him, he was just kinda ok ig? Like he didn’t really feel like he had that much character to him (at first) and I kinda thought his relationship with piper was boring 😔

But revisiting it today, (and also post what happened in the burning maze), he has a lot of really cool hidden lore that I wished was more talked about 😭. Like his whole life was a straight up tragedy, abandoned by his mother at 2, raised by wolves and then had to join the Roman military and lead at a young age. Then when he thinks he’s finally settling down, Hera fucking wipes his memories and drops him in the middle of the US and he has to spend the next years of his life fighting a war. AND THEN right when he finally settles down again, piper breaks up with him but he still goes on that quest knowing he or piper will die bc of the prophecy but sacrifices himself anyway bc he cares about her and dies at the age of 16. It’s literally so sad, he never got a chance to experience what he wanted to do and spent his entire life accommodating for others. Anyway peak eldest sister energy even if he’s the younger brother 😭

Also another character I warmed up to a lot was Piper!! I originally didn’t like her “not like other girls” personality, but looking back on it I was kinda the same way 💀. Like I feel like she’s a really cool complex character and that gets overlooked, I think her negative feelings towards femininity kinda also stems from the weird brainwashing thing Hera did and her developing her sexuality. I actually started liking her more when she broke up with Jason and started dating her girlfriend, ( on a side note, I lament the fact that we’ll never get to see Jason and Piper develop their friendship cause I really think they were platonic soulmates and never meant to be in a romantic relationship).

I just think they’re both really neat by themselves! There’s so many other characters I could spend paragraphs talking about but we could be here all day 😭

Ty for the ask tho I had sm fun info dumping-

#haliai ask #pjo #another underrated character imo is hazel she slays #she’s also so fun to draw I should drop my hazel sketches soon #also it’s kinda funny I haven’t drawn Nico yet considering he’s definitely a fan favorite lol #I never really felt that much for him imma be honest 😭#I enjoy his dynamics with other characters but ig he never really stood out to me as an individual?#maybe it’s cause I never really related to him as a kid idk #it’s funny cause with my track record he should 100 percent be my fav 💀

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musette22 · 3 years

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hey, it's the anon that sent in the thing abt rpf being iffy. i understand your points, and i don't have a huge problem with it if it stays in fandom spaces. i think my issue just comes from my own stance that celebrities deserve to not have their private lives speculated or written abt, even if it is just a fantasy. but i don't think you're necessarily being immoral or wrong, and i know that the speculating and writing abt celebrities is so widespread now that it probably won't stop. i sometimes just feel bad for the people that might feel violated by it. and, for the record, i also rlly don't like the "self-shipping" with celebrities either, as it seems pretty invasive. also, someone replied to my ask that you answered saying that i probably just don't like that you ship two men rather than a man and a woman, and that is absolutely not true, i'm a lesbian lmao. anyways, i just thought it was worth it to clear a couple things up. i hope you have a good day!! <3

Hi, thanks for sending another messages and clarifying a few things, I appreciate it! I also appreciate your stance about the private lives of celebrities and I do understand where you're coming from. Just for the record; you explained your issue well in your first ask and there was nothing that made me think you had a problem with same sex shipping!

The way I see it, most celebrities more or less willingly renounce some of their privacy just by becoming a celebrity - I'd even say that's inherent in the concept of celebrity/fame. Off the top of my head, I can't think of anyone, at least not in the entertainment industry, who is famed merely for their art or profession, and has never talked about their personal life or thoughts publicly (whether in interviews, at fan meetings, in their songs, etc.). If you're famous, people will know certain things about you, unless you try really hard to keep your private life completely private, but even then idk if that could ever be achieved. Of course, no one is entitled to know anything about celebrities - it all depends on what and how much they want to share with the public. And if they want to share some things and keep other things private, that's their prerogative and we should respect their boundaries in that regard. I would never demand (or even ask) information about a celebrity's family, relationship status or sexual preferences, for instance, if they didn't volunteer that information themselves.

But I can't imagine celebrity culture without a certain amount of fascination with and/or lusting after said celebrities, whether by their fans or the general public. I don't think it's possible to separate the two completely. So I don't think it's wrong or weird to privately think/speculate about their private lives, as long as you observe certain hard boundaries, which I've explained in reply to your previous ask.

If I'm not mistaken, the self-shipping you mention sounds like reader insert fic? If so, I wasn't even necessarily talking about that tbh, I just meant like, when you're on a train and you start daydreaming about meeting your favourite celebrity and what they'd say to you and how they'd fall in love with you and how they might kiss you etc. etc. That's something I think a lot of people (not everyone, but a lot, especially people who are 'fans', with more than a casual interest in a celebrity) have done at some point in their lives. And I don't really see how that's different from putting it down on paper, as long as you make sure the celebs never get to see it, just as they'll never see the thoughts in your head.

Basically, what happens in both cases is we put words in their mouths and make them do things in our imagination - in a way, they're almost just as much characters as fictional characters are, because at the end of the day, we don't truly know these people, and we certainly can't control them. I don't know if you saw what someone else in the notes of the other ask said as well, about Sir Ian McKellan? @misspluckyplum said that "Ian McKellen was asked on his website what he thought about 'real person slash'. He remarked, and I'm paraphrasing here, that those who were writing RPS didn't know the real him, therefore weren't depicting the real him, so how could he begrudge creative expression that had nothing to do with him anyways?"

That's how I personally see it as well. I met Sebastian once, and it was acutely clear to me that he was a stranger. Sure, I know a lot about him, but that's not the same as knowing him personally. The things I know about him are what I use to write my stories, but what I inevitably end up with is a character of my own making with lots of personal projection, sprinkled with some real life facts and mannerisms of actual people bearing the same name as my characters. I do see how that could entail a risk of objectification/sexualization, but I personally fantasize just as much if not more about these guys shyly confessing their feelings, holding hands, and raising babies together as I do about them having sex. For me, it's really much more about creative expression, and an outlet for personal romantic feelings, thoughts and desires, than it is about me wanting to completely know or - god forbid - control Chris or Sebastian or have a say in their lives.

I know you also mentioned that you would be weirded out if you knew people were shipping you with a friend of yours, and I understand what you mean. Some people will think it's extremely strange and invasive and it would be especially strange and invasive if you're a non-famous person. But like I said, by far the majority of celebrities will be aware that they've signed off some of their privacy in becoming famous. A few of them clearly hate that (which I think should be respected as much as possible) and some may be more protective over their personal lives than others, but generally speaking, I think if you habitually agree to do photoshoots, interviews and public performances or events, you're used to, and to certain extent even okay with, people being fascinated by you and wanting you/wanting you do do things.

Moreover, I've also heard about quite a few celebs who have endorsed or encouraged RPF shipping because they think it's fun or flattering, so in the end I think it depends on the person whether they'd consider RPF shipping invasive or not. I personally would not mind at all if I were famous and people would write stories about me and my best friend falling in love if that brought them comfort or happiness for some reason, as long as I didn't have to read the stories and people would not harass either of us about it. But again, that's a personal stance, and of course we can't know who is or isn't okay with it, unless they tell us. If they do know and they hate it, and they tell their fans to stop, I would of course respect their wishes in a heartbeat. But until then, I think it's okay to operate on the assumption that "what they don't know can't hurt them", especially if it's coming from a place of love and respect.

Sorry this got so long, it's just something I have a lot of thoughts and feeling about! I hope you have a lovely day as well! <3

#evanstan #rpf #minnie answers #long post #shipping things

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survivor-tierradelfuego · 4 years

Text

Ep. 9: “If you’re not on top, you’re on the bottom & getting played” - Maddison

Maddison

I made the merge!!! Let’s gooo baby!

Aimee

I cannot believe me the oldest person made it to merge! I’m still shaking a little bit to be honest. Haha I always see those reality tv shows where the oldest person is the first boot. Haha and I know there are other 30 year olds but this feels special to me.

Yay merge! This lady is gonna kick it into high gear, hopefully the alliances I made and the friendships I have started help me to get far but we will see what the future brings 🌅

Olivia A.

I’m excited for merge but not sure if we’ll able to get numbers together and have a majority.

Grae G

We do be merging.... OG maola is in mini Priya so I will be spending every spare moment working my ass off to try and make as many OG Hanuha bonds as possible...

Najwah

While I'm happy to have made it to merge, I'm actually really sad about James. I've never been this sad about losing anyone in this game before. We started off never having had a one on one chat but we just had each others backs from day one. Stuck it out. Fought together. We spoke on a video call earlier and it was the most easiest conversation ever. He was genuine and kind and I wish him everything of the best in this life. He deserves so many good things. My heart is sore. I didn't want to be here with Amy. She's unresponsive and I don't really trust her. But she told me she had a steal a vote and she wanted to give it to me before tribal because it could be used post merge. And then, she changed her mind like 15 minutes before tribal she was like no this game is a distraction for me and I want to use it tonight. And it was either going to be James or me. She was in a position of power. I think she chose to vote James out coz she has previously stated that he is good at challenges. She wants to have a secret alliance with me. I agreed to it just so that I could be. Kept in the game by her I guess. I have no intention to betray other people I am in an alliance with. Idk. I'm just still shocked. I actually cried about it on a call with Cody earlier. Cody also told me that since day 1 Ben and Zack have been bitching about me voting James out and turning on James and weakening Hanúha Tribe alliance. Like? What? I'm so annoyed. Not once have I even considered voting out James. We had a good thing going. He's just one of the best people in this game and I honestly wish he was. Here. I'm not in the mood for these two faced assholes who only care about themselves.

Pedro A

im scared ..this can change the whole game

Sarah

AHHH, it’s Merge time! I’m so excited that I, along with most of my alliance, made it to Merge. Definitely sad about James being voted out at the last vote since he was one of my closest allies in the game but thanks for giving me coins and helping me get the idol James! 😊 Maybe Amy has put a target on her back after playing steal a vote and can be an “easy” first vote for the majority of people on our new tribe. Well, there was definitely a lot to catch up on in a week and I talked with Cody for quite awhile last night and he filled me in. He let me know that Ben confided in him and said he didn’t trust Zack fully either. Cody of course hasn’t completely trusted Zack this whole game so at some point, I’m sure everyone will vote out Zack. But for now, our alliance and former Hanuha tribe is staying strong. Like I’ve said, I feel like Cody and I are in one of the best positions in the game because of our connections with so many others. Aimee feels close to me, Najwah feels close to Cody, and Ben and Zack feel close to us. I have also had some communication with Grae and feel like I can talk with her. I do think there is an alliance between Grae, Maddison, Olivia, and maybe Amy though. This next challenge and tribal will be interesting for sure with a 6/6 tribe split.

Olivia A

At the moment it feels like we’re in the minority (with Pedro still mad abt the John vote) but with this idol and the plan to get everyone to target Pedro I feel like we can get in a good place again. And then convincing people to turn on Zack will hopefully not be too hard.

Maddison

It seems like the boys from original Hanuha are coming after me... and there is nothing I hate more than men chasing me. Time to bring down the hammer. :) I found an idol today thanks to the help of my lovely Rox the Sox alliance. I’m happy to have it in my possession but I’m also ready to use it for whomever in my alliance may need it. I wouldn’t have found it without them anyways.

Amy A

Made the merge 🎉🎉🎉🎉. Can’t say it has been an easy road. Almost voted out last night. Even though that was not even remotely gonna happen cos ‘Steal-a-vote’. So, definitely happy to be here but sad that I lost my advantage. Also, my alliance with Najwah seems pretty solid. I hope she isn’t just saying stuff to me just to gain my trust and then break it. I absolutely trust her. Even beyond the game. I feel like I can actually talk to her. Let’s go merge!!! Amy A. So, lies. I feel like this should be my little confessional to keep track of my lies cos 😂😂😂😂😂😂 it’s so damn hilarious to ME. I don’t even have a cat but I feel like people seem you as more trustworthy when you have a pet. I also think Grae believes I’m not aligned with Najwah cos I told her I had a mini bond w James instead. This is really entertaining.

Zack M

"well, i got it." - valerie cherish, the comeback and by it i mean the merge. i'm here. i've accomplished what i wanted to do. now my goal is to make it to top 10. baby steps. but i feel like i'm going to be the first person voted out tbh. something is off with my tribe. the only person i feel like i can actually trust at the moment is najwah. we had like a 2 hour video call last night and compared notes. apparently cody also tried to buy the necklace with her. i'm like 89% positive that him and sarah have the idol. i really wanted to go to final two with him but 1. i don't see me making 2. if i do, i don't think i can fully trust him. it's obvious he is running around talking to everyone and it's starting to get messy. anyways, i think i will be voted out first because it's clear the maola girls are working together. maddison, grae, olivia, amy, kalle all need someone to vote out. why not the guy who was the "tribe leader" at the swap. there may be some hope IF pedro stays loyal and votes with the hanuha tribe but that would also mean that aimee and sarah have to stay with us. aimee apparently told pedro she's been on the bottom which isn't a lie but like why aimee? *face palm* if hanuha stays strong and pedro votes with us then it will be 7 /5 and i should be safe. i would like to pretend to vote amy out (#Justice4James) because i feel like alan may have gave her the idol, if they actually had one like rumor suggests. she plays the idol ... we flush it ... and take out maddison or grae. that would be dream scenario. but who knows what is going to happen with this auction coming up. stay tuned.

Olivia A

Pedro A

OKay so kalle basically said...."I've been on the bottom since the John vote lol....I just don't know who I can try to connect or reconnect with at this point"...so she doesnt trust them anymore....which is nice...and i kinda believe her..considering they didnt pick her to be in the swap tribe...which honestly was a mistake......Grae and Maddison..im coming for you...karma is a bitch

Pedro A

im talking with najwah...i kinda wanna know about her relationship with amy...cause amy is a snake gURL...But i feel like its too early on to ask that...but im watching you GURL

Pedro A

lets just hope we dont self destruct...cause then we will be devoured by the habuha. tribe

Olivia A

Checked in with Aimee and she’s seeming iffy about the original Hanuha people and is still interested in working with me! This is very good news :) If we get Pedro our next and Aimee sticks w us then we’ll have the numbers 6-5.

Kalle N

This first tribal is going to be a gigantic mess. Pedro now says he trusts me and asked me really nicely to not lie to him bc he's sick of being lied to, and it just made me feel really bad. I think rox the sox is still planning on voting Pedro but if I feel like I genuinely have him on my side, I could maybe try to get our alliance to vote for someone else like Zack or Ben. Ben really wants to take out Maddison or Grae but idk how much I want to rely on Ben.

Pedro

i honestly feel like i noone is being truthfull to me

Pedro A

Honestly im scared...at this point..i just want to make it into the top 10

Pedro A

one step at a time

Olivia A.

For this challenge I’m paired with Cody. I’m not really excited about it. I don’t have anything against him but I’ve never interacted w this man before and I don’t want to help him get immunity! He seems rly nice and funny I just feel like it’s gonna be awkward and also I have 0 ideas. Doesn’t rly matter though bc we’re not planning on targeting him so if he does get immunity it’s whatever. 🤷🤷

Pedro A

Is this a jokkeeee..I'm with graeeeee .....I'm so unlucky...I'm honestly doneeee..like wtf...what did I do to deserve this ass...gods please help..

Kalle N

I don't know if you're familiar with the show New Girl or not, but it's my favorite show of all time and I'm going to use an example from it to explain how I feel. In New Girl, Nick Miller once said "I'm so sick of the lying... and the manipulating .. and the out-manipulating". I'm lying and holding so much different info from different people and groups of people that my brain is going to explode. Can't wait to see what Aimee will be like but oof this is getting crazy

Olivia A

I take back what I said Cody’s vibes are immaculate 🤠

Aimee

Haha I’m an idiot. I just sat there at the auction staring at the void. I think I’m still so shook I made it to merge that I just stare into the blankness instead of doing anything. Dang, I wish I would of gotten that envelope. I need that extra vote man. I don’t want that extra going to the Suite life of Zack and Cody. I feel like they are still a big threat to my game even if we are being friendly right now. I don’t necessarily believe in this old Hanuha strong alliance. I’m skeptical, the game of survivor is so complex and I don’t want to play this simple, it has burned me before. With this immunity challenge for me Kalle would be a simple vote to get out now. But now I have to work with her to get immunity. Damn. We will see how this goes. Your lady is gonna to try her best no matter what. No throwing challenges here , in this house.

Zack M

literally fml. i didn't get anything the auction which i don't care about tbh. but now it's our first INDIVIDUAL IMMUNITY CHALLENGE but we have to work in pairs. individual immunity challenge .... in pairs. i know. seems like kindergarten knowledge that we would work alone but like whatever. i'm partners with amy. she fucked over najwah and james. i hear she doesn't respond and she didn't even complete the last challenge. i guess i will be doing this alone. flashback to high school when i did all the group projects. this is kind of mean. amy could be a sweetheart of a person. she's been nothing but nice to me. and i did reach out to her this morning because her facial expressions during tribal do crack me up. so if you read this amy, know that my frustration isn't with you personally ... it's how you've played the game so far from what i've been able to see. + that our first individual immunity challenge isn't individual at all. whatever.

Sarah

FUCCKK. I didn’t buy anything in the auction except for a ticket with the VL (which I’m honestly thrilled about that). I definitely thought there would be 10 items, I learned my Survivor auction lesson.... So much has happened in the past hour I- Cody got an extra vote which he told me and then we discussed whether we should tell the whole group or not. I encouraged him to share it because it would keep our Hanuha tribe from getting paranoid at this first vote if they knew we had that advantage. We don’t want Zack to get paranoid and flip... So. Zack messaged Cody about Najwah sharing with him about what the necklace meant. Zack said that the necklace had to be used with an idol and would be like a super idol that can be played after the votes are read. But if Naj holds on to it, she gets a 5% disadvantage each week. Najwah didn’t message Cody about it and he was hurt and didn’t know if he could trust her. Cody asked Najwah and at first she said it was just a cursed necklace with a disadvantage and then later shared with him about using it with an idol. So we have no idea what is the truth and if Zack and Naj are closer than we think... but Zack literally wanted to vote Naj out so I have NO idea what to think anymore. I’m also worried that James shared with Naj he had shared 5 coins with me because they got close and now she may think I have an idol.... asdfghjkl. Cody also wants to start a group of 3 with Ben, him, and I but we don’t know if that will expose Cody and I and if Ben would share that with Zack. Sooo much uncertainty. Merge is CRAZY.

Grae G

Pedros my partner which sucks for him bc of my disadvantage :///

Najwah

I'm so happy about having Sarah as a partner in this challenge. Also awesome that I'm able to give people a 10% advantage. So Amy and I are secretly chatting. Initially I was ready to just blindside her and get her out but she's giving me the tea from the inside lmao and we are sharing ideas and hyping each other up and I love that. Pedro started talking to me too and we kinda connected. I told Amy the 10% in giving is for her and Zack and I'm telling Zack it's because I don't want to give Maddison, Grae or Olivia an advantage so Ben and Cody don't benefit from my advantage either. Aimee, Sarah, Zack, Amy and I do however and these are all people I'm willing to work with in the future. I have to play this very carefully. I THINK people trust me right now, but I suspect they're extremely weary. I don't want to be messy so I am sticking to Hanúha, Amy African Queen alliance and I'll listen and entertain Pedro if he wants to talk. He just needed to vent and I really think he's a genuine person. Not sure what he's going to be like now that he's working with someone he "Hates" and is "dead to him" yep my guy is hella dramatic. I feel for him though, I do. It's a game of survivor yes but the constant lying and betrayal affects one psychologically. It's important to still treat each other like humans and be kind. I feel okay right now. I think I'm in an okay position right now.

Olivia A

I take back what I said Cody’s vibes are immaculate 🤠

Sarah

Cody, Ben, and I formed a three person alliance tonight and I honestly feel really good about it. Cody and I were worried that it might expose Cody and I’s closeness but we both really trust Ben and want to talk through things and work with him. Ben brought up the point of causing chaos at the first tribal so the former Maola tribe can play advantages/idols and we can flush some of them out. I think that will be a good plan. We will get more information tomorrow and then make a decision when we go to tribal. I still haven’t told Ben about my idol yet and I feel like I may but I just want to make sure sure sure that he wouldn’t tell anyone else... After talking with Ben, Cody and I called for another hour and seriously, our friendship goes beyond this game. It’s so crazy how someone can become your best friend in a couple weeks. We obviously want to get to final three/two together and don’t care about voting each other out (if there was a million dollars up for grabs yeah I would want to vote Cody out 😂). We want to go down as the best dynamic duo.

Pedro A

really GRAE an disadvantge??????....CHILLLLEEEEE....my luck...im literally so unlucky.....anyways lets try to win either way Im so not confidente about this challenge and about the next tribal jeez...this will be a long ride

Cody A

https://youtu.be/cAF4L9RNlHg

Pedro A

me and grae did fine.....i really liked our ideia....i hope the judges like it too......IM SO NERVOUS...after this challenge chilllee...IT WILL be a mess

Olivia A

I’m excited for merge but not sure if we’ll able to get numbers together and have a majority.

Olivia A

Working with Cody on this challenge was a lot of fun!! We’re not in the same alliance but if I’m in a position where I do need to strategically work with him later on I’m confident that won’t be too difficult. Also I love what we made lol.

Grae g

Amy got immunity which is very sexy Zack not so much but you know he’s not an active target ((yet))

Kalle N

Ok I literally had to make a chart to keep track of which lies I'm telling to which people bc this is getting WILD. Basically, Ben and I are trying to organize a Grae blindside without Grae knowing anything. If all goes according to plan, we have the numbers to make it happen without me even having to vote for Grae, which will make Maddison and Olivia still trust me. We're also trying to get Maddison to play her idol so we're pretending that her name is being thrown out. In order for this to work we NEED Aimee so tomorrow we're trying to pit her against Grae and make her think that Grae is just using her as a number and wants to get rid of her. I also have to keep talking to Pedro and just make sure he doesn't spread any info or find anything out. Bc he could topple this whole thing. I've also told everyone that I have a fake idol when it's actually real, and Grae is the only one who knows it's real. So if we vote them out and they haven't told anyone else, then that secret dies with them and I'm golden. Even Ben thinks my idol is fake. I'M OUT HERE PLAYING 11TH DIMENSIONAL CHESS rn

Zack M

to quote the great philosopher t-pain, "all i do is win win win...." dude. what?! i won the first "individual" immunity challenge?! this is so wild to me. najwah and sarah's was so cute. i want the little bead man najwah made of me. she really called me an #EMOGAY ... love to see it. back to my work though ... look ... was amy my first choice? no. literally no offense to you amy because you were actually a delight to work with because you allowed me to do what i wanted to do. the secret to a relationship with me is to let me have my way. you did and LOOK AT GOD you're safe. i know i'm a threat in this game and the second i don't win i will be in the mouths of everyone ... im including my alliances in that statement. like why would you want to keep me in this game with my track record? i guess for a shield? seems risky to me. i would 100% blindside me. i would like to take a second and talk to one of the judges from this challenge: dear raffy, lord where do i even start. this is an online game of survivor that's happening while everyone is also living real life. i'm not sure what you expected from people but like damn dude ... you were really acting like you were a guest judge on america's got talent or something. make way for TRYra banks. he called himself "a moment" in his bio. let me tell you that no people wait a lifetime for a moment like this. i can't. lol. you literally gave me a 6 for appeal but gave a computer generated buzzfeed quiz a 9. these judges should really have to explain their scores live in my opinion. ALSO JUDGES SHOULD NOT BE PEOPLE WHO ARE DRAFTING PLAYERS!!! now, i'm not saying they are cheating. (please do not edit this out because i just learned that was a thing from najwah. i will share whatever is missing from my confessions on twitter or somewhere if it isn't here when posted.) it seems a lot of this game is "in the family" and i don't like that. it's hard to be unbiased. but back to raffy ... you said i should have included the entire tribe or created a whole deck. sir ... 1. this is an INDIVIDUAL IMMUNITY CHALLENGE that i already had the displeasure of working on with someone else. it should have just been me on that card tbh. i'm tired of having everything comeback to a tribe. this isn't pre-merge. 2. create a whole deck? this was not some copy and paste art project. i did EVERYTHING including writing out the text on the cards instead of typing it out. now that that's out of my system .. jesus .. i don't even know where to begin with the vote. ben and i have decided to start floating maddison and olivia's names around. this will hopefully scare maddison into using whatever her MAYBE advantage from the auction is. let's flush that out. BUT the target i believe is going to be grae. we're not going to share that until later because we don't know if they're are any moles in the group. omg i just thought, what if her advantage is to steal immunity away from a player at tribal. i don't think that's ever been a thing but like maybe on this fucked up online version it could be. you just never know what to expect. hopefully everything goes according to plan and i just get to chill and see where everyone stands in the game .... and then i win again next time.

Pedro A

I dont like that Amy came to talk to me.....seems suspicious...expecially because amy and najwah for sure have an allience...LOL.....i dont even know what to say..........i think im going tonight...maybe im just being paranoid....But i have this feeling....and hey its my 3rd tribal....3 times its a charm LOL

Amy A

So my little alliance with Najwah is brewing 😂. We’re super close and tell each other everything and I think this is the best move I’ve made since the game started. Also, I won immunity 🎉. Najwah’s advantage really helped. Cos that’s what boosted us. Unless no one tells me she’s the vote, she’s NOT going home tonight. I feel really great for tonight’s tribal and can’t wait to see what’s next.

Pedro A

but im 95% sure najwah..and amy are working a together...like amy came to talk to me...while najwah was online....and it seemed like shes was comparing notes ..to what i said to najwah lol

Pedro A

it feel like Najwah came to supervise me and to get me to throw out a name...LIKE GURLLLL...you think im stoopid?....I HAVE A BAD FEELING...i think its me tonight...chilleeee...which is dumb tbh....cause theres bigger fish...

Pedro A

I feel like najwah...doesnt trust me........like shes always...suspicous of me ...i dont like that....like im paranoid...but she is AN INVESTIGATOR

Pedro A

IM going homeeee FUCKKK

Pedro A

Theory confirmed...CHILLEE...kalle told me....and Grae, Maddison, or Olivia, are planning to vote my ass out...like gurl....and apparently the other tribe was also considering voting my ass out also...wtffff...IM AT ROCK BOTTOM...and im not even playing both sides...i just want grae maddison and olivia out LOL

Pedro A

Grae´s ass better leave...i worked so mf hard on that challenge...and got a disadvantge from them ...and now they are trynna vote me out...LIKE chillleee wtf

Maddison

I! Still! Want! Pedro! Gone! Also hi Zack you’re the clear ringleader but you’ll be knocked out soon enough my guy

Olivia A

Hiii so it’s looking like we’re going for Pedro. I think we have a solid 6 and hopefully 7 if we can get Aimee to get Sarah in with us. This vote feels really important bc it’s gonna establish who has the majority. Although, anyone could flip at any time. WHO KNOWS!!

Kalle N

So last night I was stressing and now I've actually decided to just pass away. This is getting insane. I told Pedro about the Grae vote and he's in, I just have to babysit him and make sure that he doesn't say a word about it to anyone. We also NEED Cody to use his extra vote. I need to throw away my vote on someone that Amy could vote for bc I'm gonna have to throw blame on her after this if this actually works out. The lying is really getting on top of me bc I have to say different things to different people but here we are. Very big tribal tonight

Maddison

I wish some people would realize that if you’re not on top, you’re on the bottom & getting played.

Amy A

The votes are a MESS lemme tell you! The names are Pedro and Grae. We’re tryna use Cody as our decoy vote. The actual mess is in who we’re gonna involve and everyone tryna downplay their closeness to people on the other side. OG Maola tea-time seems to be working well together and have all agreed on Pedro. Maddison has taken a step back from the aggressive role cos I think she has seen that it’d make her a target. I honestly wouldn’t mind voting her out someday because she’s GOOD. I just want us all to get through this tribal and see where the lines fall.

Amy A

Najwah is an actual rockstar 😂😂😂. She and I are basically a tag team at this point. Our private messages are actually lit. Nothing is off topic and literally everything I hear, I tell her. The best part is always blaming the things I know from her from our Palena swap tribe on James. I always say ‘James told me ...’ and it’s HILARIOUS. People may have doubted at the beginning but I think that now, no one even thinks we work together. We nicknames Zack and Pedro ‘Dynamic Dúo’ and I basically love her. She’s my spirit animal.

Olivia A

The vote is still Pedro but our fake-out vote is Cody. I completely trust the people I’m working with but I’m getting a gut feeling that this isn’t going to work out in our favor. Just bc the numbers aren’t quite secure yet. But I’ll just stick w the plan and stay hopeful :/

Kalle N.

kinda bummed we didn't get to pull off the Grae blindside tonight and give Pedro the idol that no one knows about :( But I'm more bummed that Zack was treating anyone the way he did so good riddance I guess. The PB & K alliance is hopefully going to be the undercover move making force that we need to keep our momentum going forward. Unfortunately I do have to work with Ben for right now since I'm definitely on the bottom of my other alliances. It'll be interesting to see what happens next

Pedro A

SOOO this was a mess....i was going homeee tonight.........this wholee situation saved my damn lifeeee.....lets hope this was only a situational thing....and next round is someone different....i doubt it...but still......im so shocked about zack...also can i say that my nº1s change every elimination ..like now its kalle and ben ...i trust them..they had my best interest in mind....im sorry to whoever is reading this...i dont like making long texts in english..and im not good with essays.. SORRY

Aimee

I’m not sure where I left off in my last confessional lol so I’ll start here It was a lot of fun working with Kalle on the coloring and poem projects. I really liked her haiku and her originality of it. I hope she becomes more confident in her creative writing. I’m happy that we got 3rd overall. This morning I heard Grae’s name get thrown around. Haha I literally almost cried when I heard that. I’m not normally an emotional person but I feel like Grae and I have such a special connection and I don’t want to lose it so soon. They are a joy to talk with everyday and I might honestly have a little crush forming. ☺️😅 Their energy matches no other that I talk to in this game. 🤩 It was so nice getting reached out to by Grae and Maddison on how they wanted to vote Pedro out. It was such a relief to finally get included in a vote. I am working closely with Ben in this game. Our main thing is that no one can know we are working together so that we can hear information from all sides of the game. He is someone that I can spill my guts to about ANYTHING game related and I know that he is in it with me for the long haul. There’s so much we know about each other that it’s almost impossible to betray each other without burning each other to the ground! Not that I would want to! He is such a sweetheart and I love him to bits! Haha it’s hard to keep track of the days at this point. We video chat a lot and I really enjoy his company! I’m happy we both made it to merge and together we can turn this game upside down. Sarah and I call ourselves Team Casanova! The flash game queens! 👑 I love talking with her about outside of the game stuff. It’s was so great having her on Maola with me and now merge. We have built such a strong relationship and I really think she is someone I can trust through the end!!!! I really enjoy Maddison too. She seems so down to earth and easy to talk to. I’m glad she sees me as an ally and am excited to see how far she is willing to work with me. Shout out to my girl Najwah! I had no idea what all she was going through and I’m so happy that the emotional threat to her well being is out of this game. She is such a gem and I hope we get to work together more in the future. I’m honestly happy Zack is out of the game. I don’t enjoy hearing what all he was saying about contestants and the host. This game is meant for fun. I hope with him being out the game will be less stressful for us all. I’m just so sorry to hear about what people on my old Hanuha chat had to go through, it sounds even worse than how I felt about things. It breaks my heart and I’m relieved for this reset in the game where we can all air things out and come together. I love everyone here and I’m so happy Jay has decided to recruit me. These friendships I have made and continue to make have been such a joy this summer. Your lady is strong and I will keep fighting for that immunity. ✌️

Najwah

these past 24 hours have been the craziest ever and I have experienced a whirlwind of emotions, all while forgetting to eat, barely sleeping ans having not got out of bed today. Let me start from the beginning, hopefully I remember it all. Let me grab some snacks too. So it started with our first reward challenge. The auction. zack immediately asked me what I got and everyone else were sharing their bid items in the old hanuha group chat so in a panic, I told him. In retrospect, I should have lied. Anyway, zack made me doubt my trust in Cody so i decided not to tell Cody the truth about the necklace, i would learn that zack had told cody about my necklace almost immediately. But more on that later. Anyway, in a panic, i told ben too. lmao. Why? who knows? But i suppose it was an opening and Ben and i Could talk for the first time. Why am i writing this at 12 am on like2 hours sleep? who knows? Okay so then the reward challenge comes up and I am paired with Sarah. I end up having the best day ever. I had so much fun creating and chatting to sarah. We just spoke about life, absolutely nothing game related. For the first time in this entire game, I felt as though we could actually WIN and for the first time, I was having THE BEST DAY. I gave each of my 8bit survivor characters little haikus. It was funny, if i say so myself. Me? I love my silly humour. Okay this page is cutting me off I will write these in parts.

Najwah

Before the challenge due date yesterday, Cody messages me and of course I am pleasantly surprised as I have felt like things were a bit off between Cody and I since merge happened. He said he wants to call and it ends up being one of the most emotional calls i have had in a while, even in real life. Through our call, we realised that we have basically had the same gut feelings about zack and his behaviour for a while now and we spoke about how zack has been trying to pit us against each other, how controlling and jealous and manipulative he is. We basically realised that the reason we have been so mentally exhausted was BECAUSE of Zack's paranoia. zack spoke so much game. we were constantly being bombarded and had our trust and loyalty questioned and he thought nothing about throwing My or Cody's names out. All of this just validated and reaffirmed our feelings towards Zack and we decided there and then that we would vote Zack out ASAP. As we were talking, the reultsof the challenge were released and lmao what are the chances that FRIGGEN ZACK WINS IMMUNITY URGGGHHHH. We were reeling and i so much wanted to decompress with Cody but then I had my meeting with the VL draft people so I had to reframe my mindset. Bare in mind that this is all happening at 4am and im under the blankets, with a warm bean bag because it is freezing out. NajwahI actually loved my conference call with Ellie, Raffy and Tim. What awesome people. I wish i wasn't as distracted or could articulate better because I feel as though my mind was all over the place but i also took the opportunity to ask for their advice and guidance post my call of revelations with Cody. It was still fresh in my mind and they gave me some GOOD pointers. They also told me how I should approach the game moving forward. I loved how they all had such different approaches. Raffy made me laugh so much. They told me how to deal with Zack too. So some other ish went down after this call.

Najwah

Cody calls me and is like "lets get on a three way call with Sarah" After gushing about how much we love each other and how we have been on the same page for such a long time, Sarah throws an idea out that sticks. WHY NOT VOTE PEDRO OUT TO ISOLATE ZACK SINCE WE CANNOT VOTE ZACK. And we spent a lot of time freaking out and laughing about how we are going to do that. Cody was frustrated that everyone just assumed he and Zack were a duo and I said its because "Zack and Cody" to which Cody replied "Well this definitely aint the sweet life." Later I suggested that we call the group Mr Moseby and Cody said it was perfect as Zack was the bane of Mr Mosebys existance. Everytime i think about it I laugh. We spoke until my battery died, which was around 6am. I didnt sleep much because I was tasked to get a name out of pedro. I think i was messy there because Pedro accused me of being acting "like a supervisor and demanding a name from him like he is a ring leader" and honestly, it made me laugh so much. He is so dramatic I can't deal. Anyway, he knew what I was trying to do and he called me out and I apologised and honestly felt bad about the whole thing. In the end, I am happy we didn't vote him out. He has loose lips but he is very honest and I like that.

Najwah

So i feel as though there are so many things that happened simultaneously today. Amy L and I are working together on the side, she gives me all the ex maola tea. She told me Maddison has an idol. I haven't used this information yet and I won't now because it will raise questions. I told her that some of us are willing to vote Zack. The funny thing about our chats is that Amy keeps saying we need to share this tea with the VL. Any bit of information I have ever given her, she tells her tribemates she got from James lmao. And whenever I talk about her, I use James and Ryan too. Our alliance is so low key and its such a safe, unpretentious space. We have the best chats and we just spill tea for information's sake. Neither of us are going to use any of the tea. It's great having an in.

Najwah

So all day Zack has been bitching about jay and Raffy and the judges and honestly, I can't even remember what else. It was as though he got a kick out of being verbally abusive. I think he watches too much trashy reality TV, there is a difference between sassy and just plain rude. I also felt that many of his comments were borderline misogynistic. also, whatever information I have given him, he used against Jay. Today was a blur and also intense and also exhausting. I went with Cody to a mall, to visit his friend at a military base, drove around with him, chatted in his room while he was drinking a whole bottle of frozen coke. Like we spoke so much and it was just Zack's constant bitching and paranoia getting to us? Like? How does one person make so many people feel uncomfortable. Cody got on a call with Ben and told him that we had been trying to vote Pedro out and ben went ballistic and said that i am being manipulated by ex moala, he didn't know that we all wanted Pedro out. It made me mad so I called Ben too and asked him why he keeps thinking I want to flip? But he gave me his word and I guess that should mean something. Today was especially exhausting because I had to pretend and entertain Zack until we voted him out. I hated every minute because usually if i find out people talk shit about me, I either talk it out or just not talk to the person at all. I couldnt do that with him. I needed him tio feel safe with me in order for us to pull of the pedro blindside. I wanted to see the look on his face when he realised wtf had just happened. Am i sad that I didn't get that satisfaction? yep.

Najwah

Do I feel Zack should have been removed? Honestly no. I don't agree with it. I think we should have worked with everyone else and voted him out. I genuinely don't think he is a horrible person. In all honesty, I wish we could have met outside this game. I feel as though the game wasn't good for him. Not that i'm trying to justify his actions but I feel as though he got too invested and was too emotionally unstable. Most of us are here to have fun. Sure, it would be nice to win but at the end of the day it's not real life and I would much rather preserve the friendships and connections I've made in this game than win. Winning is nice but it isn't everything. Am i worried about Zack and wonder whether he will have a setback of some sort? Definitely. He has spoken about his crippling anxiety numerous times, which he has also projected time and time again.

Najwah

So Cody feels bad and blames himself for all of this. I don't blame him. I feel bad too. I thought I would feel some sort of relief with zack gone, but it is just guilt. I mean the messages were still sent in confidence and I feel bad for violating his privacy. I also feel bad for entertaining him because of the game. I don't want to be playing so hard that I go against my values. It just feels weird with zack removed. Like he wont be on the jury. I can't stop wondering whether he is okay, as a human to another human. My husband says that the Russel Hantz of Tierra del fuego got removed. It made me laugh a little. He is a survivor super fan too so he is very invested in all of this. Sigh. I may have left some stuff out because its so late and just A LOT has happened but I will keep confessing as I think of things or remember things. Oh lol Ben said he would voted Zack out in a heart beat, Basically we all felt the exact same from the beginning, no one wanted to speak out in fear of being targeted.

Olivia A

Sarah

From last night.... https://youtu.be/EirlyVVXDKk

Ben Kessler

Today was eventful, so I will skip to the end. Situationally, I believe I am not in a good spot at all. There are 11 people left, Pedro will receive votes next tribal, but I would like him to stay. My former tribe it seems as though everyone is closer with others than they are with me, except possibly Aimee but that's a stretch. Today could potentially crash my game. So, what do I do? Hope is not strategy. Tomorrow, I talk to others. I ensure everybody knows how close people are. I play double agent. I make sure I am at least in important conversations to merely be there. I let people know I want to be with them in a group setting. I re-establish that I am here to have a good time. At the end of the day, this both is and isn't monopoly. Strategy is involved, but the rules aren't as specific. You don't know how much money or property people are holding. Situationally, though, it is the same. You work with the hand you are dealt and I intend to make the absolute best of this hand. People will do what they want for a variety of reasons, so I need to let things roll off my shoulders, read, and react. To end this long confessional, I am not hoping for anything. I will be doing things to affect change. If I see it doesn't work, I lay low. Read and react.

Maddison

the pink house has become my safe haven. i shall inhabit her until i can no longer. thank you, pink house, for the many blessings of coins that you have given myself and my allies.

Pedro A

Okay...so i think grae maddison and olivia are voting me....and everyone else is voting maddison (if maddison doesnt use her ring)...and im voting olivia and using kalles idol....idk at this point 2 hours till tribal..and anything can change

Sarah

Plans keep changing every minute but as of right now going into this first Merge tribal, the plan is to vote out Maddison because it seems like Maddison, Grae, and Olivia want to vote Pedro so if they vote Pedro and the rest of us vote Maddison we may could blindside her and we could get an idol out of the game. If she plays an idol, then Pedro still goes home and original Hanuha is saved... but if Pedro wins immunity, of course we will have to rework everything. We may be able to do 4 for Olivia and 4 for Maddison .

Aimee

https://elysiankardia.tumblr.com/post/625017490490179584

Is this really happening? Am I going to vote for who I ACTUALLY want to vote for for once, as a treat? And I getting what I want...and controlling the vote?! Am I in the twilight zone? The name of the game now is to get all of my potential final allies to get along with each other and play nice. My hand is in so many cookie jars I have to be careful, all my relationships trust each other. I already have an army ready to strike if anyone tries to turn on me, and I was forming those relationships genuinely and BEFORE I needed them to come through for me, not last minute where trust would be harder to earn. I literally am running this vote off of Grae and Maddison and onto a different target. Hanuha is so deadest in getting one of the “core three” out and this is the best I can do to protect those two but also not flip on people who I trust from my original tribe. For DAYS they have been so afraid of Grae and Maddison and I’m put in massive work to divert that away from them. My plan is something right down the middle, where I get to have my cake and eat it too. I love the best of both worlds; I’m Hannah Montana!

Maddison

Tonight is going to be a big one. I’ve heard my name and I really don’t want to go home with an idol in my pocket. Better safe than sorry? Olivia AI really hope this vote works out I’m NERVOUS!! Also, I worked really hard on this challenge so getting the disadvantage when I had 2 puzzles left was shitty but I don’t really need the immunity anyway. Still felt really good to finish it out regardless of if I win. :)

Sarah

Amy A

Tribal again and with it, ALLLLLL the drama. So I have made a ‘vote four’ alliance w Kalle, Ben and Pedro which is supposed to be secret. Which makes it two secret alliances I’m a part of 😂😂😂😂😂😂. The alliance w Najwah is definitely the one I’m most loyal to but Pedro and co seem like a really solid group I can work with. I didn’t think I’d win immunity so there’s that. About tonight’s vote, the new ‘core four’ is aiming for Grae but in order to keep the alliance a secret, only Pedro will vote for her. It’s all exciting stuff and I KNOW tonight’s tribal is going to be THE ONE. Cannot wait.

Olivia A

I really hope this vote works out I’m NERVOUS!! Also, I worked really hard on this challenge so getting the disadvantage when I had 2 puzzles left was shitty but I don’t really need the immunity anyway. Still felt really good to finish it out regardless of if I win. :)

Aimee

Nooooo I didn’t need Olivia to win immunity. That way she is one of the “core 3 Maola” out. Oh man I don’t think I can save my game and Maddison at the same time. I got the target off Grae after merge happened. I worked so hard for that so this all wasn’t for nothing. There’s like fifteen minutes before tribal and I’m still not entirely sure what is going to happen.

#episodes

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cherri-ice · 6 years

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All the numbers

fuck you

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

uH MY CLOSE FRIEND LMAO? 2. Are you outgoing or shy?

lowkey both?? im more shy but if i know the person im incredibly outgoing 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

MY LOWKEY GF4. Are you easy to get along with?

oft no 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

YEP6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

ppl who are kind !! also ppl who could either break me or love me 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

,, hopefully8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

,,, can i say keaton henson bc his music makes me sob9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

no but depending w who lmao :””^10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

mm i think my friend from school abt shitty people ngl 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

”do you think it’d be a good idea for me to run and get tea right now”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

ok jeez

1. cherry bomb - the runaways (wow, original)

2. all of sevdalizas songs ever

3. blood // water - grandson

4. charger - gorillaz

5. pools - glass animals

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

YESYEYSYESYEYSYES. fuck yes.14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

mhm!!15. What good thing happened this summer?

err i mean, if u count summer as past summer then convincing my dang dad that i dont wanna stay at my shitty school lmao?? 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

depends on what kind of kiss !! but ye!!17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

pfft, absolutely 18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

,,, i dont think so tbh19. Do you like bubble baths?

HELL YE I DO20. Do you like your neighbors?

ngl i dont rly talk to them but they seem Nice21. What are your bad habits?

if i dont know someone all too well i tend to joke around w them?? idk its weird but i kinda get annoyed easy as well,, altho another bad habit is my flaky ass backing out of events sometimes22. Where would you like to travel?

i’d love to ,,, travel to scotland or france23. Do you have trust issues?

oh boy i do24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

going the hell to sleep again and wrapping myself up25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

every part w scars lmao26. What do you do when you wake up?

take my dang meds27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

,, idk?? i like my skin tbh but it could clear tf up28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my sister29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

nope :””^ 30. Do you ever want to get married?

yes!!31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

ye lmao32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

,,, IM 16 LETS NOT GO HERE33. Spell your name with your chin.

aki34. Do you play sports? What sports?

i work out but i dont play sport lmao35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

without tv, music is my lifeblood36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

almost always37. What do you say during awkward silences?

i try to joke abt smth usually38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

someone who cares for me smh39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

T2, I LOVE TEA,,, 40. What do you want to do after high school?

university or nap 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

yes!! unless they’re super shitty42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

i’m nervous, anxious or overthinking43. Do you smile at strangers?

i try to ??44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

oo fuck outer space ty45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

,, honestly talking to lovely ppl46. What are you paranoid about?

people abandoning me or being completely alone and shut in and just,, closed away from the world47. Have you ever been high?

tba48. Have you ever been drunk?

not rly lmao i have a high tolerance 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

,, UM,,, lowkey yes50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

olive51. Ever wished you were someone else?

before, yes. now? nah, i’m pretty good 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

highkey wish i was less anxious 24/7

53. Favourite makeup brand?

NARS. nars. or kat von d altho i hate what she stands for

54. Favourite store?

T255. Favourite blog?

,, idk? 56. Favourite colour?

blue / green!!57. Favourite food?

creme brulee58. Last thing you ate?

a rly good double cheese burger59. First thing you ate this morning?

croissant60. Ever won a competition? For what?

knowledge of novels for school!! or art wise, i’ve won a few comps inside our school61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nope62. Been arrested? For what?

nada63. Ever been in love?

smh i fall in love,, way to easily64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

,, jeez i hate the person who it was with, but it was underneath the harbour bridge after chocolate strawberries and a picnic,, she asked if she could kiss me and i said yes65. Are you hungry right now?

jfc not rly im super content tbh66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

no @official-akko is a binch (im kidding i love u)67. Facebook or Twitter?

fb68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now?

nope but i was watching law and order svu 70. Names of your bestfriends?

beauty, my cat71. Craving something? What?

cuddling someone and gently lying my head on their chest 72. What colour are your towels?

white!!72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

3 binch73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

yes!!74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

on my bed is 2, but i think at least 5+ around 75. Favourite animal?

i love,, cats,,,, so fucking much 76. What colour is your underwear?

wouldn’t u like to know77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

vanilla78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

mm cookies and cream?79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

dark bluuee80. What colour pants?

grey81. Favourite tv show?

right now its between brooklyn 99 and stranger things82. Favourite movie?

i will never stop loving mulan or the princess diaries 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

mean girls 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

mean girls i guess 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

,, janis ian86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

uh the turtle smh87. First person you talked to today?

ash!! 88. Last person you talked to today?

rn, its niko89. Name a person you hate?

me90. Name a person you love?

ash91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

GOD this one asshole from school i will actually brawl92. In a fight with someone?

not rly?? idk93. How many sweatpants do you have?

at least 494. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

5!!95. Last movie you watched?

legally blonde pfft96. Favourite actress?

i lowkey love madelaine petsch97. Favourite actor?

shrugs loudly98. Do you tan a lot?

no im pale af99. Have any pets?

a cat!!100. How are you feeling?

tired, coffee makes me tired101. Do you type fast?

yep!! i can touch-type too so i dont even have to look most of the time as well lmao102. Do you regret anything from your past?

waayyy too fuckin much regret over what ive done to myself 103. Can you spell well?

ye!!104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

,, my grandma :105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

nope lmao106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

,, i think i have,,, 107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yes!! i go horseriding at least four times during the year108. What should you be doing?

sleeping probably109. Is something irritating you right now?

i have a fuckin itch on my leG110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

yep,, oh boy 111. Do you have trust issues?

i already answered this lmao112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

,, my sister because i wanted her to comfort m e shes v sweet113. What was your childhood nickname?

”leash”114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yes!!115. Do you play the Wii?

sometimes116. Are you listening to music right now?

i am, its glass animals :””^117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

yes!!118. Do you like Chinese food?

eh, iffy but i dont mind it!119. Favourite book?

THE NAME OF THE WIND BY PATRICK ROTHFUSS120. Are you afraid of the dark?

only a lil121. Are you mean?

,, i think i am sometimes122. Is cheating ever okay?

never ever ever ever is it okay.123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

yes! if not i fuckin clean em wth124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

not rly? i think love is something you have to grow and share together, kind of like a garden plant? works gotta go into it for it to blossom 125. Do you believe in true love?

i believe in it!126. Are you currently bored?

,, yea lmao127. What makes you happy?

memes, reading and tea ngl128. Would you change your name?

birthname? ye, probably lmao129. What your zodiac sign?

cancer! im an emotional fucking crab130. Do you like subway?

ye!131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

remind them im a lesbian132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

binnch this is a past question133. Favourite lyrics right now?

”Our skinIn time would tellCan I hold on to our genesIn my lifeI could not failWhen I run out will you leave?”

134. Can you count to one million?

i can but i’d loose track i have attention issues pfft135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

”i was late because my cat threw up one on of my school uniforms and i had to change”136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed, idk who can trust anyone that much to keep them open137. How tall are you?

5′7!138. Curly or Straight hair?

i have wavy hair if this is asking m e139. Brunette or Blonde?

blonde140. Summer or Winter?

winter141. Night or Day?

night142. Favourite month?

july bc its cold and my birth month143. Are you a vegetarian?

nooppe144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk chocolate!145. Tea or Coffee?

tea146. Was today a good day?

meh, highs and lows 147. Mars or Snickers?

mars148. What’s your favourite quote?

either:a. “And what we learn about ourselves in those moments, where the trigger has been squeezed, is this: the past is not dead. There are things that wait for us, patiently, in the dark corridors of our lives. We think we have moved on, put them out of mind, left them to desiccate and shrivel and blow away; but we are wrong. They have been waiting there in the darkness, working out, practicing their most vicious blows, their sharp hard thoughtless punches into the gut, killing time until we came back that way.” from Trigger Warning (Short fictions and disturbances), neil gaiman

b. “Perhaps the greatest faculty our minds possess is the ability to cope with pain. Classic thinking teaches us of the four doors of the mind, which everyone moves through according to their need.First is the door of sleep. Sleep offers us a retreat from the world and all its pain. Sleep marks passing time, giving us distance from the things that have hurt us. When a person is wounded they will often fall unconscious. Similarly, someone who hears traumatic news will often swoon or faint. This is the mind's way of protecting itself from pain by stepping through the first door.Second is the door of forgetting. Some wounds are too deep to heal, or too deep to heal quickly. In addition, many memories are simply painful, and there is no healing to be done. The saying 'time heals all wounds' is false. Time heals most wounds. The rest are hidden behind this door.Third is the door of madness. There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. While this may not seem beneficial, it is. There are times when reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind. Last is the door of death. The final resort. Nothing can hurt us after we are dead, or so we have been told.” - The name of the wind, patrick rothfuss

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

yes!! i believe that ghosts exist lmao, or at least guiding spirits 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“… but he left his doubts unspoken. Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.” - Game of thrones lmao

#this took over an hour. fuck you akko #official-akko

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