#god I'm so excited to write that scene. can you tell? lmaooo

[mustangs-flames]

( Writing this on my phone so that's why it's a little messy )

Nowhere to Run by stegosaurus rex

You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you / You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you / You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you / You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you

[ How alternates have a tendency / habit to repeat the same thing ]

Feeling all blue, I've got no more time

[ Alt!Ces is somewhat saddened knowing he'll have to kill Mark right away , but he knows that if he doesn't then Deer will do it , and his care for Mark won't allow it ]

They all hate me because of my crime / Their threats come at me, their voices are loud / All to condemn me, my face is still proud

[ Even though it hasn't happened yet , and unbeknownst to him won't happen except with Mark himself , Alt!Ces is already mentally preparing for Thatcher and those closest to Mark to hate him once they learn it was him , and tries to convince himself that their hatred won't harm him at all ]

(...)

You were my good friend, I saved you before

[ INWCT reference to when he saved Mark from Deer twice ]

I thought you turned good now but you asked for some more / You had to provoke me, so I beat you / Watched your skull bleed, so now I feel blue

[ How Alt!Ces will end up blaming Mark a lot in different ways in part 6 , but in the end Mark temporarily dying will indeed "leave him blue" ]

(...)

Out of ideas, nowhere to run

[ Not wanting / having anywhere to run , Alt!Ces will eventually call 911 ]

Looking right down, barrel of a gun

[ This one can have different interpretations inside htb , but I think it'd make sense if it has to do with Alt!Ces' flashbacks to when Mark shot him ]

And so I dream, voices in my head / Delusions mock me my best friend is dead

[ Alt!Ces coping with having killed Mark just as well as Mark did when he killed him back in 92 basically ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ ]

(...)

I feel no guilt but I shed a tear

[ Alt!Ces trying to lie to himself before accepting that Mark's death didn't "fix" him at all ]

I see your dead body with the blood all smeared / A bird sings a song, it's all for you

[ The bird part can be literally just that , a bird singing , but it can also have different interpretations , since we know Mark survives thanks to a miracle ]

Outside it's warm and skies are all blue

[ Either Alt!Ces referencing the human idea of Heaven or the interpretation I found online : how the victims' death is affecting the murderer personally but the outside world keeps moving forward like nothing happened ]

And then the song just repeats , so I'll end it here

Hope that despite the shitty writing , this was fun to read for you . I certainly had fun writing it

Ough! I love this! I'll have to add it onto my writing playlist for the AU lmao

I think it works really well, especially as alt! Cesar's hatred and fixation on Mark in Part 6 does becomes grief and emptiness the moment Mark dies in front of it. That whole interaction really affects alt!Cesar, because it teaches it how anger and revenge isn't fulfilling. Once the goal is achieved there is nothing left.

Alt!Cesar very quickly realises that hurting Mark wasn't something it wanted. It never wanted that. But it took Mark getting severely hurt to give it that clarity.

Mark's death greatly impacts and affects it in a way it never thought would happen. It thought it would be whole again, but seeing Mark lying there, watching him die... it only breaks him all the more.

#hail true body au #mustang answers! #htb alt!cesar #htb mark #god I'm so excited to write that scene. can you tell? lmaooo #thank you for sending this in!!

[unsleepingtales]

MENTOPOLIS REACTIONS EPISODE ONE

Here we go babeyyyyyy. (this is so long. you have been warned.)

Right off the bat the cc says (cool opening noir music) and I'm in love

Mind of a scientist ok!!

brainstorm I'm dying already

HE'S BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME <3<3

I'm so excited for Hank Green in the dome guys

Also I love that Hank gets to show just how big a dropout fan he is here

I love that they hacked the system by hiring the people who wrote the original system lmao

God the table is SO COOL

Oh god is this gonna be corrupt

It would be so cool to see theoretically moral 'people' have to deal with being the mental functions of a not necessarily 'moral' person

closeups on the buildings this is SO cool

Dome antics AND light antics??? We're being so spoiled this season <3

First episodes are usually one of my favorites in any given season because I love getting introduced to the characters and watching a story get set up and this looks to be no different

I love the custom office scene for Trapp is there going to be a unique backdrop on the dome for each intro??

Brennan found a list of slang terms for detectives somewhere and decided to have a good time huh

A rubbery kinda guy

Tropes!

I for one LOVE the puns

Siobhan is gonna kill it as a femme fatale I can already tell

They're being so dramatic I love them I love this so much

ooh okay different time system? That's really interesting I wonder why like is it just because the scale is smaller or is there some larger reason within the world logic?

"I understand the sequence of the words you've said, I don't understand how it involves me just yet" FELT

ooh that's a cool feat

what the fuck are you two talking about

they have a mayor?

Does stuff being in the newspaper mean that it comes to the attention of the big guy?

(nat one sound) I love that that's a normal caption <3

Halving mechanic my beloved!! King Solomon that shit

(sad, New York accent) me every day of my goddamn life

is one of god's own children a real saying that I've just never heard in my life

Brennan was just waiting for Danielle to ask what their name was and I'm so glad he was able to slip it in even though she didn't

Norrel Ojiccle I'm gonna lose my mind

The clunk means failure :D

Entirely unrelated but I can't wait for merch of this season I just know it's gonna slap

so many reporters, just one fact checker. so real.

Ooh okay so A probably has ties to a rich/powerful family but left to make her own way

So when an attention being goes somewhere it actually calls the big guy's attention to it? Like if A went to the red light district it wouldn't matter if she reported it or not, the very fact of her being there would do something?

"I heard you say a lotta words there but deep down I really don't wanna pay attention" FELT

Also the word play of he doesn't want to pay her. Because she's A Tension.

Also I didn't write it before but. I think there's more going on with her name than just being a play on attention. Tension means something else. We've gotten clues that the Pulse family has impact on the big guy's actions, implying that they have something to do with the circulatory system, I'm thinking something similar could be going on and that the ties A has could be to a musculatory family? Idk maybe I'm clowning.

(making those sounds you make right before sneezing) cc writers I love you

I was prepared to have mild distaste for this character I was not prepared to be charmed

I love that the names in the red light district all seem to be things that feel good or are a luxury or connect to a physical pleasure trigger in the body I think that's neat

Dan Fucks and Donny Urges. Man.

Ohohoho intrusive thoughts. Oh boy.

The lighting on Brennan's eyes as he said that lmaooo

That one time a barber whispered in your ear. Is this just like a universal experience.

It's not sexual. It's also not not sexual. (being satisfied) it's nooOt sexuAl

oh my GOD oxytocin being hot chocolate but also oxytocin being outlawed because the big guy is lonely and touch starved

I silence with my arms. Also my gun, if necessary. I love you.

Why is he vaguely french

The big guy doesn't DESERVE pleasure???

Deserve.

Hmm.

(saying "yeah" back and forth in increasingly horny ways)

(Hank trying to control his laughter and himself)

(weirdly tense mouth sounds)

They're all so delighted by what's happening this is wonderful

Nobody's allowed to feel good until the job is done this is such neurodivergent guilt shit. This is gonna nerf me I think.

You're telling me that the giant hitman has bad sneak? Unbelievable.

Tropes!

I am once again begging for posters of the dome art. Please. Like retro style travel posters.

oh he's good at this. he's really good at this.

fuck why was that kind of hot.

(Brennan silently laughing in terror and awe) me too babe meee toooo

He can use sharp instead of slick 'cause he's Menacing another cool feat!!

Also yeah that is menacing

I don't think Brennan was prepared to be that flustered and honestly besties neither was I

Hank's satisfied little smirk <3

Trapp so fed up and simultaneously delighted with the puns

But what happens when he's hyperfixated on something that is of no use to the main ambitions of the big guy? What happens to him then?

He's so prepared for it to be a pun

He feels a feeling that he does not know and is not comfortable with. I was so right when I said the audhd rep (explicit or otherwise) would nerf me in the emotions.

Ooh I just noticed on the map it looks like the university is in the red light district? Fascinating.

"Would a good guy do a bad thing?" oh my GOD??

I gave him all the facts and he made a choice KIDDO

He put the papers out of order on purpose?

(old timey speech music)

And all of this makes sense!

Bonjour, hello- Oh well I don't speak that!

"Please reconsider" reconsider what?? Just the illegality of it? Or did he get rejected for a job or smth? I feel like I'm overthinking this.

OOH STAT BREAKDOWN LOVE IT

Are they gonna alternate spellings of his name because if so that's hilarious

My MORTAL ENEMY (referring to a child that was introduced as small, too small, and whose character sheet refers to him as teeny tiny.)

We need lore on the Fakename family please

Oh of course they know each other!

Does that imply that Imelda is somewhat related to intrusive thoughts?

They also know each other!

Babe what are you saying

Notably slightly shinier than most rocks!

It's very satisfying to me that Conrad's stat dice are in descending order.

Wayward interests...

That's not what a superlative is?

OKAY I'M GLAD HE AGREES WITH ME

I love him

The wayward interests are past hyperfixations?? Or maybe interests that were deemed unhelpful?

They both know so many facts this is going to be a wonderful season

I like when it is very clearly explained thank you

What are youuuuu

List of Lists kid <3

Oh my god magic kid. I'm gonna cry.

Key??

Okay so she has an insane amount of power.

Cousins! Ok!

A also has a key! Noted!

Is this kid about to get shot

oh GOD WHAT

Oh what have you done

I loved that so much cannot wait for next week <3

#mentopolis #The Fix #brennan #HANK #dropout art team <3 #rick perry appreciation hours #verbal component #reactions

[dirty-bosmer]

Frothing at the mouth, kicking, flailing on the ground, I JUST FINISHED READING THE PARTY SCENES FROM YOUR FIC AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUCKING FUN. I kid you not, I burst out loud laughing more times than I can count. The ugly dress. Nim making eyes at Arquen. Mathieu being a smooth and creepy and fucking hilarious. I can't believe I am saying this but I am actually so psyched to be reading about MATHIEU BELLAMONT?????? As an old-school luci fan, I never thought I'd find a fic that makes me like the godam traitor!

Srsly, I looooove everything about your Nimileth. You capture moral grayness so *chef kiss.* She's in denial and bordering on delusional lmaooo but she's so freaking interesting and fun to read! 10/10 narrative voice. Never a dull moment with her around, and her relationship with the DB assassins is among my favorite ever. EVER DID YOU HEAR. God-tier characterization. Vicente is proud papa and Antoinetta is a sweet baby angle and I haven't been this excited (or scared lololololol) about a tes fic since I was fresh off Oblivion like a decade ago. I'm srsly going to make an ao3 account just so I can comment and kudos and bookmark and subscribe, and you'll know who I am cause I'm going to scream in your comments loveloveloveimtotallynormalgoodbye

Anon what do I do now???? Wat???? Thank you??? Ahhh!

I am so blown away by your kindness in 1) reading that beast of a fic 2) taking your time to tell me you like it 3) going into detail about what you enjoyed. It's honestly more than I could ever ask for from a reader, and I am so, so, so thankful that you find Nim's story compelling enough to continue. 

Every now and then I’ll find myself moping about how the first half reads a little... rougher? Like less polished, weaker prose, but those are also the chapters that were the most whimsical and fun. I hadn’t yet found my style, but I knew I wanted to write a stupid, dramatic disaster and you know what, I did XD I had fun with it. I can only hope others will too. And omg, what you said about Mathieu— he's such a wriggly little worm, I love him. Very happy I've turned you onto him too heehee <3

#Crying in the lab #asks #you are all too good to me #the illusionist

[ficsforeren]

when i saw this tiktok i was like bro the last song JAJAJJAJA

https://www.tiktok.com/@just.another.hanji.simp/video/7056494788807347461?is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1&lang=es

i also get super happy when i see you on my notifications, you dont have any idea how excited i was when i saw that chapter 2 was out!! i was really waiting for it for my mental health JAJAJAJAJA

im super invested in the series like im loving it soooo much AND DONT SAY SORRY ABOUT THE LENGHT LIKE.... I WANT THAT JAJAJAJAJ these days ive been struggling with fics that are less than 10k idk i need story JAJAJAJJAA AND THIS CHAPTER HAD STORY SO MUCH GOING ON I LOVE IT!!

THE END............. GOD THE KISSING PART WAS AMAZING AND I WAS LIKE BRO THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX NOW? SHE LIE TO ME ABOUT SEX IN CHAPTER 3 JAJAJAJAJAJAJJAJA but no, its like a teaser for the next one 😉😉😉😉

like you are a genius you made them kiss in a good moment when the chemistry between them is already amazing like god i love you AND AGAIN YOU ARE A GENIUS (idk how to explain this sorry if it doesnt make sense) do they like each other bcs they are the only people there or they actually like each other? this are my thoughts at the begging when i was reading it and then you put that on the fic and after that you explaint that they actually like each other bcs they like each other for real AND YOUR TIMING ON THE WRITTING IS SUPER WITTY I LOVE WHEN THAT HAPPENS, when im watching a movie or reading something and im like asking something and then the next moment they explain that idk JAJAJAJJAA LIKE EREN ASKED HIMSELF THAT ON THE FIC I WAS like yeah bro i know and then he said his reasons on why he likes her i and was like dead JAJAJAJ

i love the main story, the sister thing :((( i almost cry lol

and im finding this fic super cute but 5 chapters i dont expect any happy ending JAJAJAJAJJAAJJJAJA FUCK

well as always thanks for sharing this wonderful stories here! im so happy kashdksd love youuuuuuuuu

super excited about the restkajhsdk

CAMIIIIII AAAAAHHHHHHHHH OHMYGOD YOUR MESSAGE

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!! and this review ohmygod i don't deserve your compliments omg 😭😭😭and i'm so relieved to know that you like long chapters because the next part is 20k long 💀but there would be a lot of fluffy and smutty scenes so i hope you'll like it too hehe

tbh i enjoy writing NLMG better than TLS (cause i'm a hardcore himbo stan) but, like, this whole concept of them living in such a cruel world where they have to constantly deal with their traumas and death that chases after their tails, ugh i just love it. and i'm so glad that you liked it too! and in a way, i get to learn a lot of new things. there are some actions scenes that i've written for chapter 4 and 5 and dude when i tell you that i'm straying so far from my comfort zone, it stresses me out lmaooo but i hope i can be a better writer by the time this story ends

AND THE TIKTOK? YES THE GLOW UP!! Imagine kid armin stuttering in sixth grade and then BAM he's a model like damn well done puberty

#I LOVE YOU SO MUCH CAMIIIII ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS MESSAGE #IT REALLY MADE ME SMILE #never let me go review

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

To distract myself from this awful political scene I'm forced to watch for history class: can you give us some obscure side characters (like, Dr. Diminutive, Newton the Gnu, type characters) you absolutely love for no reason? :) <3

Okay I am literally so late because I was doing my chem reading and my writing hw BUT I can’t refuse a chance to scream about my favorite characters (but y’all can refuse to listen to my scream about them so here’s a cut)

First of all, I want you to know that I haven’t even started listing characters yet and this ask has already lead me to spend almost $4 on Agent P’s Guide to Fighting Evil and that’s why I don’t look at the PnF wiki when I’m tired thank you for coming to my TED talk

I almost feel like I’m cheating by starting with Dr. Diminuitve but HOW CAN I NOT LIKE TELL ME THAT LIL MAN IS NOT THE BEST CHARACTER THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN OKAY FUCKIN DO IT JUST KIDDING YOU CAN’T I mean come on, one of his first lines was literally “I don’t have a Napoleon complex; Napoleon had a ME complex!” I had to check the wiki to see if that was his first line ever and I’m very disappointed that it wasn’t and then in OWCA’s Going Down when all the evil scientists were just vibin against the fence and they started doing that West Side Story snappy walk and Diminutive was so into the snaps that he just didn’t fucking move and then he opened his eyes and the rest of the gang was halfway off the screen fjdskhfkalsfhaskl I just really love him okay the more I think about it the more convinced I am that he’s actually my favorite character

Idk if this counts as an obscure side character but he is incredibly underrated so I gotta throw in: LAWRENCE FUCKING FLETCHER. He’s just such a pure and innocent lil dude. He sees the boys doing dangerous shit and he’s just like, “Well that’s happening,” or better yet, “Hey, that looks fun!” I mean, the airplace? The flying carpet? The monster trucks? He genuinely gives zero fucks and I love him for it. I wholeheartedly believe that Lawrence knows Perry is a secret agent -- or at least that he’s smarter than he acts -- but he’s literally so indifferent to everything going on around him that he never mentions it because life is full of fun and exciting things like that and he can’t talk about them all, you know? And he gets so excited about his antiques and he’s so passionate about history and ughhhh I love him 

I was about to say I feel like I’m cheating by using a special but it just occurred to me that that’s lowkey how I’ve prefaced all of these so no, fuck that, I’m using a special and that’s just how it’s gonna be. CARL FROM THE LAND OF INTERNUS WOULD HAVE MADE A MUCH BETTER ENDING THAN THE ACTUAL BOOK HAD AND FUCK YOU MONOGRAM FOR CUTTING CARL OFF BEFORE HE COULD TELL IT HOW HE WANTED TO

These two kinda go hand-in-hand but Bunka Da Bunkaquan and Sweary the Swan are my favorite alternative Perrys. As far as the specials go, Steampunx isn’t one of my favorites, but Sweary the Swan is just... How do you even describe Sweary the Swan? He is life. He is the reason I wake up in the morning. He is the only thing worth living for. And then Bunka Da Bunkaquan is just so fuckin cute and anyone who disagrees needs their eyes checked. And tbh while we’re talking about Tri-Stone area, I gotta throw in a mention of Doofengung no of course I didn’t have to google what his name was what are you talking about because I love how he just stares at the water and every time it drips he just fuckin cackles lmaooo

Okay one more special (maybe) but Doofenshmirtz in The Temple of Juatchadoon brooo I just googled it to make sure I spelled that right and I did woah my power is unmatched is lowkey my favorite Doofenshmirtz. I don’t know if it’s because I actually like him more than every other Doof or if it’s just because his first scene was with Phineas Ohio Flynn and they knew each other and they had actual interactions throughout the episode and the Doof/Phineas relationship is my favorite underexplored relationship, but Juatchadoon Doof makes the list anyway

The “what did you think, _________ was just going to fall out of the sky?” couple — who 100% deserved that cameo in catu

I’m almost afraid to say this in public, but I actually really like Roger. I was mostly indifferent to him at first, but then Delivery for Destiny happened and I was like wait a minute, why am I sleeping on his man who literally orders boxes just to give to his cat? And once I realized that he was kinda cool, it started sinking in that he was never actually a bad guy. Heinz never even really claimed he was -- if anything, his problem is that Roger isn’t a bad guy, and everyone in Gimmelshtump and Danville knows it. And I gotta give Roger credit for not being too harsh on his brother, because yeah, he can be a little stuck up (I’m looking at you, stupid golf game), but you can’t really blame him for thinking he’s better than Heinz, you know? But at least he’s not a dick about it like their parents are. Also the entire latter half of this paragraph was me trying to find a way to work in the other part of that scene with the cat box and it didn’t work so I’m just gonna tack it on to the end because this isn’t an essay for English class and I can do that lmao. Paul mentions that he just delivered something to a Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and Roger is like 😬 because let’s be real, no one wants to be represented by the type of dude to try to juice City Hall, but he’s obviously not going to say that because he’s still a respectful dude, so he’s just like “Charming... man... isn’t he...” and he’s literally so uncomfortable and it cracks me up every time but also it’s lowkey kinda wholesome because Heinz may make it his life mission to embarrass his brother but Roger doesn’t reciprocate. but I accidentally discovered a few weeks ago that John O’Hurley is a raging Trump supporter so I gotta dock points for that one

In the same vein, Paul the delivery guy. What more do I have to say?

If my love of Roger didn’t turn the world against me, this one probably will, but I’m going to say it loud and proud anyway. I LOVE PETER THE PANDA. He’s just??? so??? cute??? Like when he was tearing apart Doof’s inator and he was just... actually no scratch that I need pictures for this because I can’t explain this in words

THIS IS NOT EITHER OF THE PICTURES I WAS LOOKING FOR BUT LOOK AT THIS LITTLE GUY OH MY GOD

Peter really said “this bitch empty, YEET!”

okay but the ones I was actually looking for are...

I mean, how can you not find him adorable? And don’t even get me started on his relationship with Perry because Meapless in Seattle was just... B R O Perry flew halfway across the country (probably I mean idk where exactly Danville is but they use EST so Seattle is probably halfway across the country?) just to go grab a coffee with him. They went on a lil date at a fancy restaurant I know Dan said it wasn’t a date but he's been wrong in the tiktok comments before which means none of his opinions are canon lmao. They’re just? So? Cute? I don’t even know what to make of their relationship but I live for it.

And I can’t mention Peter without bringing up his nemesis, who, to be entirely honest, I also don’t know what to make of and he’s mostly on this list because I like the line “How did you get chorus girls in here?” and when I downloaded and cut a bunch of songs that you can download from Google Drive here if you want, I specifically kept that part in because I love it lmao (I do gotta point out tho because it’s been bugging me since I last watched the episode: I don’t think we have any proof that Professor Mystery even exists in the PnF dimension. I had just assumed he did for the longest time, but that entire episode takes place in a dimension where Lawrence is a polar bear. Who knows what other differences there are?)

I love all the grandparents and I don’t even have an explanation they’re just all adorable

Okay I know I said no more specials but TECHNICALLY at2d isn’t a special; it’s a movie. I am physically incapable of not brining up the muffin time Normbot and the “I use aggression to mask my insecurites” Normbot.

While we’re talking about Norm, his old head would 100% swear all the fucking time if it wasn’t a kids’ show and i gotta respect it

Dan Povenmire does one line for a dude named Vinnie in Mission Marvel and off the top of my head I don’t remember who he is but it was the beginning of the episode and I think (?) it was during the New York scene and he does it in the Vinnie Dakota voice long before Dakota was even a concept (I’m assuming) so he gets a mention

Jerry the Platypus gives me Paper Jam Dipper vibes and they are both valid as fuck (the fucked up Doof copy is not valid as fuck tho we’re gonna pretend he didn’t exist)

Don is literally the best part of Where’s Pinky and I’m not just saying that because I’ve been watching Whose Line for years and I was super excited to see Wayne Brady in the credits (and the fact that he was also in both the quarantine rap and catu makes me incredibly happy)

Ooh I almost forgot OWCA Files existed but Harry the Hyena playing the trumpet and the subsequent “you’re gonna be wearing that in a minute” is the best part of OWCA Files and tbh just Doof, Perry, and Harry could have carried an entire series by themselves (though I do also love Karen and Maggie)

WAIT A SECOND THE BUG TRIO FJDSAHFLKSAJD I was trying to pick a favorite last time I watched OWCA Files and every time one of them spoke they were my new favorite like I lowkey thought their plotline was boring but the characters themselves were hilarious

WAIT ANOTHER SECOND HOW DID I GET THIS FAR INTO THE LIST WITHOUT MENTIONING MONTY HOLY SHIT I’M SUCH A FAKE FAN BUT I LOVE MONTY OKAY HE IS LITERALLY JUST OZ FROM BTVS EXCEPT MONTY AND VANESSA HAVE BETTER CHEMISTRY THAN OZ AND WILLOW AND NO I WILL NOT BE ACCEPTING CRITICISM

Wait I forgot Vlorkel too omfg these two belong way higher on the list but Vlorkel is the love of my life (and I lowkey wish she had met Steve the giant chameleon because they would have become best friends)

I wanna keep going but it’s currently 1:45 in the morning (this is why I’ve been avoiding asks during the day: I get way too into them and spend a solid hour and a half on them and I’d never get any schoolwork done lmao) and it’s far from the first time I’ve stayed up this late but I figured it was fine because I have no classes tomorrow but it occurred to me like four seconds ago that I DO HAVE A CLASS TOMORROW SHIIIIT I had an anatomy exam on Tuesday during my usual class time (which if you read my tags you might have known about because I was having an existential crisis over it) so he moved our class tomorrow excePT IT’S NOT TOMORROW IT’S TODAY IT’S LITERALLY IN LESS THAN SEVEN HOURS FUCKING HELL I GOTTA GO TO BED ASAP

#shoutout to Sam for sending me this ask so i stayed up this long raving about my babies #because i would 100% have gone to bed without setting an alarm if i wasn't still awake #why did i buy a calendar if i dont use it lmao rip #pnf #look i have an ask

[bartsugsy]

Oh Lo. Please teach me your ways. I mean I'm not even overly negative about everything, but how can you always be so excited./see the positives with each new spoiler/quote? I wish I could lol. Cos seriously, IM's definition of 'fun' and mine appear to be vastly different. This mainly boring scheming Robert plpt continues into next year? We're not getting a reunion til 2018 are we? Lord, they really want to test our patience don't they? Have we not paid are dues yet? haha! Who's exit you think?

do you know what anon, it’s weird, but i was actually thinking about what i would say to someone earlier today, if they asked me how i tend to stay positive???? it’s like our brains just know sometimes lmao - but that’s why you’re about to get a weirdly deep answer instead of what i usually say here

and honestly, i was thinking about this because i was thinking about life in general and how much i believe in the power of positive thinking? and how incredibly well it works? in fandom terms particularly, it’s a life saviour - in life it’s can be a lot more of a struggle to remind yourself but yk we’re not getting that deep we’re just talking about a soap

i get that it sounds like bullshit, but it works for me literally every single time. i’ve found that complaining about things is literally giving voice to negative thoughts and giving voice to negative thoughts is giving power so that they can breed more negative thoughts and before you know it, you’re sinking down this weird self-made hole of sadness - and not only that, but it spreads to other people, because humans are like feelings sponges and we feed off other people’s emotions a lot - it’s hard to be the lone person feeling one way in a room of people feeling the other. it’s like subconscious peer pressure.

but then the opposite - looking at the positives, being as steadfast and determined and strict with yourselves to look at the good sides of everything, is fucking life changing. there are like one thousand and one ted talks on this - like, you wouldn’t believe how many damn ted talks there are. anyway, because i was in this weird mood this morning and reflecting on it, i watched one that used a quote from wayne dyer - “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

THIS IS SO EMBARRASINGLY DEEP FOR WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY A CONVERSATION ABOUT FLIPPIN EMMERDALE SPOILERS BUT IT’S TRUE OK 

it’s true. if i look at spoilers andlook for the positives and literally refuse to give voice to the negative, pullmyself back to the positives whenever i do, and beyond that encourage thatpositivity in others through humour or happy thoughts so that maybe it spreads - and if i do it enough times that it becomes natural to me, a natural response to anything and everything, then… well… everything gets a hell of a lot more fun and enjoyable and those things that maybe i once thought were negative and worrying somehow turn into positives. and that’s not me desperately trying to tell myself something is good - it just genuinely does become something that inspires good feelings in me, happiness and excitement and whatever. i can’t really explain how well it works - you have to experience it. but like now? now i literally fucking love that rob and rebecca had a one night stand lmao. like. i love that god damn story beat so much. it’s just about changing the way you look at things - so when i used to look at that scene, all i ever saw was jfc why i don’t actually want this - but after really and honestly thinking about it in every way, by about acknowledging that i can’t change it and then looking at it from every angle, i look at that scene now and i see the show committing to showing just how affect robert is about everything, and also playing out a soap trope in what is literally the most shippy way possible. i see a scene that is, perversely, entirely about robert’s love for aaron and also a scene that gives me a great look at who robert is as a character and the way he reacts in situations. 

it sounds ridiculous? like, it really god damn does, but like… actually, why does it matter if it sounds ridiculous if i’m having fun and hopefully making other people smile occasionally lmao

also, beyond this, i’m also all about accepting the things i cannot change - and the writing of emmerdale? that’s a thing i cannot change. so why fight it? why not just buckle in and enjoy the ride? what the hell else am i gonna do? 

so yeah, anyway, it’s not about paying dues or anything, it’s not about making us suffer for our crimes of loving too much lmaooo  - they’re just…. it’s a soap and they’re telling a story that ultimately has robert and aaron interacting regularly and still being stupidly in love and eventually reuniting properly. so all i can do and all i want to do is find ways to enjoy the journey - and this is true of every storyline ever. 

and the result of me giving as much voice as i can to the things i enjoy and literally just ignoring any thoughts i may have or thoughts other people have about what they don’t because i don’t find them helpful (sorry all other ppl i love you i just gotta do me) - is that what we’ve had so far has been so much fun for me. i enjoy aaron and robert interacting in a - in a way, very abuse era-esque manner, obviously in an entirely different context. like - they both want to be together but they can’t - and now the feelings are there but only tenfold and so their scenes always have that bubbling underneath. a little bit of subtextual love and angst is fun. yes i want them to get back together and make out and cuddle and all that good and lovely jazz but like… that’s not the only way to enjoy their scenes, i don’t think. why would anyone ever rewatch the lighter relationshippy aspects of the abuse storyline if it was?

like - the smitten kitten scene? maxine’s episode where they go to find sandra? rob dealing with aaron leaving to see family in ireland for a bit (#parallel) and literally just trying to get info about how he’s doing out of chas on a daily if not hourly basis? they weren’t together during any of that. so why do they need to be together as a couple to have amazing, wonderful scenes now? why does them being split up automatically mean we’re in for months of no robron at all? because that hasn’t been what i’ve seen so far and from everything that has been said, that isn’t what they seem to have in store for us going forward.

obviously, you know, you gotta do you etc etc but… yeah, this is literally my secret lmao. just… idk. it took me a long af time to learn this and i had to go through a lot of sadness to get there but… idk the idea of being sad about a soap all the time just isn’t something i’m interested in for a way to spend my free time. so i don’t spend it that way. 

basically, what i’m saying is, this isn’t just innately me, irrationally excited about all things ever. it’s something i learnt to do and it changed my god damn life for the better in every damn way.

(i think it does make me a horrible person to try and be salty with when it comes to plot or spoilers though because i will, with all the love and good intentions in the world, probably refuse to let a conversation wallow in that misery and probably change the subject to something happier in order to preserve the hard work i’ve done on myself)

idk idk hopefully this doesn’t sound like a flipping lecture or whatever but this ask just came at a hilariously appropriate time for where my head has been at this morning

#long post #.......sorry this is all so unnecessary lmao #answering anons #ed #ed spoilers