#go to therapy more??? start tagging fandoms more??? sideblogs???

[icannotreadcursive]

Self-Rec Tag Game

Rules: share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.) Then, tag five more people to share the things they've made.

Tagging my own damn self, might should be posting this to my writing sideblog @eiirisworkshop but I'm not bothering.

To Tell the Truth Ongoing Brokeback Mountain longfic, rated M, currently 29 chapters and just under 50k wordcount. Canon divergent starting from when Ennis comes home to Alma after the summer he meets Jack. Very much a what could have been kind of fic with lots of making people (coughEnniscoughcough) talk about their feelings but without easy fixes to the very real obstacles our boys face.

Momento Ipsum, Remember Yourself Complete Old Guard fic, rated M, 6 chapters, just under 20k words. It's a meeting-younger-selves fic with the whole team! Explorations of religion, trauma, and sense of self that I'm really proud of. Communication and how language is woven through identity are central themes, and I taught myself some coding to make two versions of this fic that use either different fonts or different text colors to differentiate dialogue in different languages.

The Measure of a Tit Sailor Moon oneshot, rated T, 824 words. Short, fun, and funny little ficlet about bras, binders, and gender expression starring my favorite senshi, Sailor Uranus, Haruka Tenoh .

Chiaroscuro Complete Star Trek: TOS fic, rated T, 16 chapters, a little over 30k wordcount. Set aboard the Enterprise late in her 5-year mission (so, sometime after the tv show ended). I made up an excuse to stick Kirk and Spock, Spock's parents, and two space hobos one of whom is half Vulcan and actively rejects Vulcan culture all on a starship together. Shenanigans, arguments over cultural values, discussion of consent with regards to Pon Farr, Kirk and Spock finally doing something about their mutual pining, and Uhura winning a full-crew betting pool ensues.

In From the Cold Incomplete post-Winter Soldier MCU fic, rated T (though I should probably bump it to M...), currently 55 chapters and almost 175k--not counting the two pulled-out sort of episode fics that happen between or parallel to chapters in the main fic that add almost another 20k. This becomes a good old "everyone is living at Stark Tower" fic a few chapters in. Very focused on Steve and Bucky and Bucky's recovery from having been the Winter Soldier. I put him in actual goddamn therapy--and this fic long predates the Falcon and Winter Soldier show. Also a major Clint/Coulson plot thread that digs deep into Phil's trauma from having been killed by Loki and brought back. Pulls in elements from Agents of SHIELD and some of my favorite bits from comics. And look, this fic has not been updated in years, so if I'm reccing it I want to be up front about that. But it is not abandoned! In fact, with how life changes are going I expect to be able to get back to work on this fic within the next year and could have new chapters ready as early as Christmas if all goes well. It's long enough that depending how fast you read, it could carry you til then. This is genuinely some of the work I'm most proud of and has one of the most complexly woven plots I've ever produced (which is why it's been so hard for my to pick back up these past few years). If you miss the team-as-family vibes of early-mid 2010s MCU fandom and wish various characters' trauma was handled with more care, then this is the fic for you.

Tagging: @kueble @nerdsandthelike @rainbowvamp @tinyferalbeing @makingshortstorieslong

#eiiri plays games #tag game #self-rec game

[violexides]

after attempting to make 4 different posts illustrating my newfound psychological issues posting things from my fandoms onto tumblr and then deleting all of them immediately i think i’m going to just take a break or something

#personal #the TLDR is that i feel like i have to balance how much i post for fandoms #like i have to make sure i post the same amount for idv dr and dsmp #or else something Catastrophic will occur #and it's bringing me to the brink of panic attacks kind of consistently #like i posted an excerpt for a fic and almost started crying out of fear #and it's less fear more like. literal. serious paranoias at this point #like i'm starting to get shit like 'if i don't write something in a month someone will break in' #i just. i. mm. i LIKE posting about fandoms but #i literally do not know how to solve this issue at fucking all #go to therapy more??? start tagging fandoms more??? sideblogs??? #i don't want to make sideblogs for this shit i just #it used to be fine but now i'm in a dsmp fixating streak and like #i literally can't even dm people about it without getting stressed #i'm sorry for venting on main but like. i just. mm. #this isn't for pity or like a vague post or shading any fandom communities or shit #has nothing to do with other people. well. not really #i just literally like #it's to the extent that i panicked over making my phone backgrounds fandom related #but not all three of them like i 'broke the balance' #this all sounds so stupid i'm sorry but like. if it was just a light anxiety i wouldn't #mention it so much it's become a big fucking issue #and it's all entirely on me #maybe i'm just going insane maybe that's the takeaway i kind of am #that's kind of been happening i just. i. okay. logging off of tumblr. #ask to tag #vent

[confusedhost-archive]

She-Ra tumblr au

I made this with @maycombhoney​ at some point and was thinking about it earlier today.

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Adora: Has a popular sideblog named She-Ra about her boxing and fighting abilities but very few people follow her main account. Her sideblog is simple, with a lot of self defense tips and stuff, and sometimes people see reblogs of stuff that are supposed to go to her main account show up. They’re pretty boring, so they usually don’t check out the main account

Glimmer: Lots of sparkly moodboards and stuff with a really pretty aesthetic, and that’s all you see when you follow, but once you’re following, your dash starts having a bunch of vent posts about her mom and there’s a lot of discourse. Glimmer gets mad at posts easily. There’s also a lot of anon hate to her. It’s kinda depressing. If she ever posts art, she often has to take it down because no matter how often she says not to, people repost it, and she can’t let her mom connect the dots. 

Bow: He talks a lot about bows. Shows off a lot of his arrow creations and how-to's on making them at home. They’re too complicated to actually work though. Most of his followers find him through Adora’s side blog She-Ra, where he’s often tagged. It’s usually because she posts selfies of their adventures and he’s in them. Glimmer is too, but she’s well known on her own. 

Double Trouble: Their username is from some small fandom no one has ever heard of, their profile pic is from some abandoned cartoon from a year ago, their header is a gif scene from at least three different shows that were shot in the same place, and their line underneath is a quote from an old musical from the 90′s. The blog is about none of those and has a bunch of posts from a show no one can find. They often get asks about what show it is, to which they give a name, and when they’re asked for a link, it never seems to work. People have given up. At some point, someone noticed that you can actually figure out what’s going on in the show if you look at the gif sets and put them together in order of episode (which is labeled at the bottom). See the thing is, Double Trouble is using the mystery and confusion of this blog to advertise the show they wrote, directed and acted out. No one knows how it’s possible, but the people who know what happened are both under oath to not tell anyone and also extremely confused as to how Double Trouble managed it. Including me. I don’t know how it was managed, but I do have a theory that I’m about to send to @sheblah​. This does mean that she’s required to post my thing the moment she sees it.  Edit: She didn’t so I have to take matters into my own hands. Here’s the post I made with it

Catra: Catra’s posts have been a lot of discourse posts, with her being wrong. You can see in the tags that she knows exactly what she’s doing and that she’s making the wrong posts to be a jerk. She and Adora used to be mutuals (no one knows how, there’s no way their blogs should have ever crossed) but Adora saw one of her discourse posts and blocked her for around a month. After that, Catra stopped trying to reconnect. Now! Catra is less of a jerk on her tumblr and posts a bunch of cute photos of her therapy animal, Melog (no one knows what species Melog is but whatever-) and reblogs a lot of stuff about therapy and anger management. One day she put up a post about how she was getting therapy, and people spammed her with congratulations. She told them that she was crying and thanked them all deeply. Sometimes people still bring up how horrible she was and she has to put out a post saying how she recognizes this and she apologizes for everything she did. She nearly never answers the hate asks. She’s getting better. 

Perfuma: She has a cottagecore aesthetic account, it’s really pretty. She once made a cactus hating post and it blew up. She gets anons making fun of her for it to this day. Very annoying. Most people follow her for the discourse she participates in. It can be quiet for weeks, months even, and then she’ll find some idiot saying something dumb and will fight for, days sometimes, to set them right. It used to be Catra that she would fight with a lot. They ended up becoming enemy mutuals, following each other in order to mess up the other’s discourse post. This also meant that Perfuma was the first to see and cause change in Catra’s way of thinking and actions. Perfuma always reminds herself of the fact that she helped someone change for the better once. She’s proud.

Frosta: Is not legally allowed to be on tumblr. It’s a problem. But at the same time she just? Doesn’t seem to follow anyone at all? Sometimes people will send asks about a post that went viral, and she never seems to know anything about it. She hasn’t been affected by tumblr at all, and seems to post something, answer questions, and then log off to make her next thing. It’s... kind of strange, actually. Everyone knows she’s underage, but has no proof, so they can’t tell her to get off tumblr or anything. And if anyone asks how old she is, she gives a random number (A few favorites are “69,” “420,” “I stopped counting after the first hundred years,” “It’s a bit of a pardox actually, because in total I’m around 80, but I’ll be born in three years so... I’m -3 apparently,” “Old enough to beat you in a drinking contest,” “I’m a god, and have no beginning nor end,” and the best of them all, a video of someone being thrown into the air by a pillar of ice with the caption, “Begone thot.”) Frosta picks and chooses her battles when it comes to answering asks. No hate is ever seen on her blog and no one is sure whether it’s because she never gets it, or because she never answers it. She doesn’t get it. 

Entrapta: A lot of cool videos and vlogs and experiments. After about three months of being on tumblr, someone said they had an experiment she might like, and asked if they could send an ask about it and have her try it out. After that, she made it her pinned post to say, “Taking experiment requests! Have something you want me to try out?” She’s always tinkering now, and she loves it! Someone once asked her to explain one of her videos more simply, and she did! But it was too simple, and the person who asked thought she was making fun of them. A helpful follower of Entrapta’s made a better explanation in a reblog and was seen as better, so Entrapta now lets her followers explain how they see is best! She’ll reblog it onto the main account so everyone can see. If they need help, she can always take back the reigns! 

Mermista: No one is quite sure what her blog is about. There’s a lot of posts about this really obscure murder mystery book series. The ones made by the blog itself are videos of arson and mild theft. The videos are horrible quality, and no one knows what’s going on until at the very end of this three minute long vid, the camera stills, zooms in, and shows a boat on fire. It’s not on the news. Sometimes you’ll see a reblogged post that seems eerily relevant to the posts before and after. The mood the entire way through is basically just this meme

She once made a uquiz that told you what crime you committed. It is... scarily accurate. The questions had nothing to do with the answer at all. You are horrified. There was once an audio that was basically just running for three minutes with sirens in the background (the post has gone viral and people are beginning to wonder if the sirens are actually mermaid type sirens. It’s becoming more and more likely every time it’s addressed). The audio was a voice reveal. It was one word, and it just made everyone who heard it pause for a moment and sit in complete confusion and mild fear before scrolling further, because they live in the lie that perhaps if they go further, they’ll understand what’s going on. It was just, “Fire,” in the most astonished voice, and then the crackling of a flame. The blog never seems to end. After hours of scrolling, you finally reach the end, and there is and never has been context for a single thing the blog has done. You are slowly filled with dread and anticipation for the next post as you hit the follow button.  

#fire tw #siren tw #She ra #shera #she ra reboot #mermista #perfuma #frosta #adora #entrapta #glimmer #bow #catra #double trouble

[canonicallyanxious]

this 30 question thing?? and i have to tag 20 people lol in what universe do i have that many friends

Thanks to @evensdramaticshenanigans for tagging me! <33

nickname: don’t really... have one anymore? Just call me Sarah i suppose gender: i’m a girl i guess idk i’m not that committed star sign: gemini! height: five feet on the dot as my wonderful friends who’ve never even met me in real life so love to remind me on the daily :’] birthday: May 29th favourite bands: fuck me idk what i listen to anymore um two door cinema club, twenty one pilots, misterwives, grizzly bear, the xx, glass animals, local natives, wildcat! wildcat!, saint motel, recently got into little green cars as well, basically just a shitton of white indie rock lol [though grizzly bear and the xx are gay culture so Jot That Down] favourite solo artist: Sufjan Stevens until i die [literally play seven swans at my funeral i’m not even joking]!!! also hayley kiyoko, mirah, laura veirs, brooke waggoner, and kid cudi song stuck in my head: dusk til dawn by ZAYN/Sia, it’s such a jam??? BABY I’LL BE THEEEEEEEEEREREREREREREREEEEEEEE last movie i watched: i think it was this movie called fairhaven about a kid who gets sent to gay conversion therapy [yikes......] and when he comes back he has to navigate his relationship with his old boyfriend which, like, i was kinda dubious about, but i gave it a shot because people said there was a happy ending and the trailer looked good?? turns out they put almost all the good footage in the trailer and there’s maybe like two minutes of the entire movie i actually liked LOL the acting was good but idk the writing was... eh? also i hated how long the conversion therapy scenes were i had to skip over those because i just couldn’t do it so basically i would not recommend it unless you can find the two good minutes of the movie [which to be fair were REALLY FUCKING GOOD i mean my queer ass is absurdly weak for sleepy morning cuddles idk what you want from me] last show  watched: haven’t really had the time or emotional/mental capacity for proper tv show watching lately but i did start watching this webseries called Barbelle [it totally counts] which is about lesbian pop stars and honestly what more of a pitch could you need go watch it right now when did i start this blog: i wanna say i made it late 2010 and started using it mid 2011 but like what are dates, time is a construct, IDK what do i post: idk lol. i guess you’d call this clusterfuck a multi-fandom blog?? right now there’s a lot of skam, check please, brooklyn 99, the get down, various other gay shit, the usual Other blogs: I'm a tiny bit obsessed with sideblogs oops. let’s see what are the ones i actually want linked out there... so i’ve got an aesthetic blog, a collab blog i run with my writing partner in crime and spouse @boxesfullofthoughts, a SKAM fic rec blog i co-run with a bunch of other people now lol, a review blog i run with lyds and @pronouncingitwang we don’t really post on anymore but w/e it exists, and more private blogs than i care to admit do i get asks: not that often nah average sleep: lol lucky number: 28 dream job: the DREAM dream job [like, top tier goals] is to write stories and live like a hermit but the “this might not be my ~most ideal scenario in the most perfect world~ career but i know i would be happy and fulfilled doing this” dream job is communications in public health [preferably at a nonprofit/ngo] food: noodles! last book i read: Clifford’s Blues, had to read it for class and i’d actually highly recommend it! It’s about a gay black jazz musician imprisoned in Dachau during the Holocaust and you can tell the writer really did his research. lots of interesting things done with style and form too. it’s quite heavy though so be warned what i’m wearing: an apollo/nasa shirt i got from the kennedy space center, jeans, socks my SO gave me, and my favorite flannel 8] favorite fandoms: my cynical bitter ass thinks all fandoms kinda suck on some level lol i’m sorry i’m such a rude fucker but i guess i’ll answer this with favorite fandom i’ve written for? in which case best and worst fandom simultaneously goes to SKAM, worst because the fic culture in this fandom was really stressful and rough on my mental health at times back when i was still actively writing [rip don’t ask me why i’m not writing now believe me i want to so badly but my life is a MESS] and i’m just in general not a huge fan of the level of entitlement and harassment i see leveled toward other writers [which of all the fandoms i’ve written for probably has to be the absolute ugliest] but also best because i’ve met some of my favorite people through writing for the fandom i would otherwise not have gotten to know, which makes up for 100% of the bullshit and then some. so... yeah sorry this is kinda not a very positive answer i just figured i’d be as honest as i could

i’m tagging: 20 people????????????? fuck that i’m just gonna tag like half of that, do it if you want but don’t feel pressured! @boxesfullofthoughts, @call-this-a-mask, @pronouncingitwang, @hotchocolatenthusiast, @fox-muldr, @rumpelsnorcack, @askybison, @minyardv, @of-flowers-and-sunshine, @thelibraryiscool

#sure i'll do a thing #i got wordy as fuck in this one yikes