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defenestrata · 6 years

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HYEONJIN + ALL GOTTA STAN THE ISFP

realm knows my weak spot !!! hyeonjin is my baby boy, my sun, my stars and i will rant about him forever —

QUESTIONS FOR YOUR OCs

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

probably years. he’s good at observing his surroundings and also slipping into quiet existential thoughts so you could probably forget him in a store and come back two hours later to him staring blankly at a mannequin.

How easy is it for your character to laugh?

maybe a 7 on the scale of 1 to 10. he’s trained to not be too rambunctious when he laughs, but giggles and chuckles are easy to get out of him.

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

is there something fundamentally wrong with my ocs if the two that have been asked about both need drugs. i hate. hyeonjin takes an anti-epilepsy drug that he’s addicted to to deal with anxiety attacks. the time of contemplation before sleeping is prime time for intrusive thoughts. so he has to take a dose.

How easy is it to earn their trust?

easier than a normal person. it comes to a point in his life that anyone who’s even remotely nice to him is considered a friend, and anyone who does him favours is deemed trustworthy. he’s a sensitive kid.

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

hyeonjin is as quick to cut people off as he is to take them in. even the smallest act of betrayal will lead to hyeonjin ignoring you for the rest of your life. he’s hyper guarded and hyper open at the same time, it’s hard to explain.

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

laws are very flexible in his opinion. the law is usually made by people who are somewhat out of touch with reality. if a law doesn’t help people, or serve any other benevolent purpose, it’s not worth following.

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

nostalgia isn’t very easy to trigger for him. his childhood was full of love and affection but also without any very clearly unique incidents. it felt like a movie character’s childhood. disneyland, trips to the beach, school days. nothing very standout. meeting his mother alone would be enough to make him remember the old days ( his parents are divorced btw ) but then it becomes a very, very painful feeling.

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

oh god, what wasn’t he told to stop/start doing. being a child actor for a short while, and then constantly in the public eye because his father is a well-known and politically involved businessman and his best friend is instagram-famous — he always had to be conscious of whether he was slouching, how eloquently he spoke, being careful not to look disinterested and so on. so his childhood was pretty regimented.

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

he tries not to, to be polite, but the habit is steadily growing on him. his first swear word was probably said when he was fourteen or something and even then it was probably something pretty inoffensive like 제기랄 ( equivalent of bullshit ).

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

oh. well, he’s been hiding a drug habit from his father since forever. it makes him feel really, really guilty, but he tries to justify it to himself by saying that the calmness that the drug gives him actually helps him fulfill his father’s expectations better. it’s still a weight on his psyche and he hates himself more for it.

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

unfortunately, hyeonjin will only seek clarification if the person is close to them. otherwise that kind of admission of ignorance … yikes emoji.

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

suffer.

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

he doesn’t really know anything about fashion, and depends almost entirely on a team of stylists, his housekeeper and his best friend to dress. so he doesn’t really know what he looks best in. outsiders will have you know that he looks best in red.

What animal do they fear most?

hyeonjin is not a fan of snakes, which begs the question: how did he become one later ?

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

if talking to heather ( a friend :) ), jiwon ( his best friend ) or sungmi ( his housekeeper / older sister figure ), he won’t think at all before talking. otherwise, he’s rehearsing every goddamn syllable in his head like three times.

What makes their stomach turn?

blood. mostly blood. people yelling at him. the thought of the people he loves being unhappy. people relying on him. being some kind of hero.

Are they easily embarrassed?

yes. thankfully, the people closest to him have learned to veer around his insecurities.

What embarrasses them?

positive reinforcement. praise, compliments, telling him to get out of his head and be happier, anything that makes him feel a little less dead inside makes him all blush emoji and flustered.

What is their favorite number?

5. it’s a nice, pleasant, round number.

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

familial love in his opinion is a much more jaded kind of platonic love: “i love you but you exhaust me — and there’s this quiet understanding that we’ll have to come apart.” platonic love is purer, teetering on the edge of irrationality but not there yet, a little restrained, never complete. and romantic love is complete. everything the person does is beautiful, nto categorised into good or bad. they become a part of you.

Why do they get up in the morning?

he’d rather not. but people love him. and (later on) people need him.

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

positive emotions manifest with more intensity in hyeonjin and so do negative emotions. it takes a bit to get him jealous but once he is, he can become pretty toxic and petty towards the person encroaching. this is almost entirely about his crush, though. he has nothing else to be jealous about.

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

envious hyeonjin means a very repressed hyeonjin who will avoid the source of envy to the maximum possible extent and become distant.

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

noooo. he was raised in a pretty conservative setting. sex and sex appeal makes him flustered to talk about. the most he’ll do is entertain jiwon’s rants about people finding him sexy, and even that with a bit of internal cringing.

What are their thoughts on marriage?

hyeonjin in a michael scott vc: marriage sounds nice. would love to be loved someday. jskjds but in all serious the idea of marriage is so lovely he’d love to be married but who’d marry him haha

What is their preferred mode of transportation?

limousine. sorry. he’s rich, and it’s comfortable.

What causes them to feel dread?

oh, loads of things. on especially shitty days, talking to any people. public speaking, being put on the spot, being on camera. anything that requires him to actually be active and do something. depression is a bitch, huh.

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

depends on the context. if the unpleasant truth was unlikely to be uncovered later, then fine. if someone lives and dies with a lie, it didn’t hurt them, and it was fine.

Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

never. his ideals are too much for even the finest human being to comprehend. he wants to be the best possible son, friend, leader, actor, motivator, businessman and student. but obviously, it’s never going to happen. and anything less than success is failure.

Who do they most regret meeting?

no one. whomever he’s met have changed him into a version of himself perhaps more wounded, angry, cold, but it’s been for the better. he’s braver now as well.

Who are they the most glad to have met?

jiwon. it has to be jiwon. at least 50% of the reason why hyeonjin still stands is because of his best friend, who never fails to make him happy, just because he’s so sanguine, kind, optimistic, and encouraging. everything he himself should be.

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

no, because all of his stories are either unrelatable ( oh lads do you ever get annoyed when the driver stocks coke in the limo when you asked for sprite ) or depressing ( yah so i killed a man that one time ).

Could they be considered lazy?

i wouldn’t use lazy because hyeonjin has a mental health condition that forces him into passivity. but he does have difficulty putting himself out there.

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

im-fucking-possible. lmao hyeonjin’s got guilt at the back of his mind every second of every day about something or the other. drinking, taking his pills, lying, not being a good friend. but at the same time he’s just so tired of it that he feels nothing very strongly.

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

always ! he hates to let people know he’s having a hard time ever so it’s a good distraction to fall into what someone else is talking about and support them all the way. having others be happy around him calms him down to some extent too.

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

hyeonjin loves the idea of love so much. all he wants is a nice relationship, and he’d be a fantastic boyfriend. however, shyness is a thing, and he hasn’t had the courage to approach his crushes. except jiwon; he did have the courage to confess to him, but that had it’s own strings attached.

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

nothing in particular, no ! but as a sidenote hyeonjin has a fairly decent memory.

What memory do they revisit the most often?

a trip to los angeles when he was thirteen with the chois aka jiwon’s family. jiwon’s elder sister jiyoon took them around disneyland for the whole day, he almost puked on the rollercoaster, saw fireworks — it was a moment of nothing but pure elation.

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

oh, if they consider someone a good friend ? what are flaws. no flaws. nothing but good things. happiness. the best.

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

meanwhile, he himself has a million flaws. he picks at his demeanour and behaviour whenever in the public eye because for the longest time, his father did it for him. he thinks he’s a bit cowardly, not macho male. long story short, he’s pretty sensitive to his own flaws, but if someone points them out he won’t be offended. he’ll just be sad, because it’s true.

How do they feel about children?

being a naturally sensitive person, he has a strong maternal instinct towards children, especially younger ones. in practical terms, he may not be fantastic at caring for them, because he doesn’t really know how, but the non-judgemental nature of kids brings his walls down. he loves kids. he wants kids.

How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

so badly. so basically his end goal is for the violent organisation that wants to destroy capitalist society to successfully establish itself in the western world again, after a hiatus of nearly fifty years. and this end has to be met. otherwise, his life, throwing everything away — would’ve had no purpose.

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

beautiful, good, and happy people. just, people with a soothing, carefree aura. male, female, nonbinary, anybody, hyeonjin’ll hook onto you immediately.

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?

he’s my boy !! when it comes to empathy and sincere kindness, he’s probably the kindest oc i have, at least in this au. also he goes through major char dev to become a lot more harsh, cruel and antagonist-like ( because he is an antagonist, for erich at least ), but he still wants to do the right thing above all.

B) What inspired you to create them?

ehhhhhh ok so the outside vibe of hyeonjin ( sad rich kid ) was a super old idea i had for the story, but the personality of this kid was totally different. then i transplanted the personality of an older oc into this exterior and boom it’s hyeonjin.

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

initially, yes, because his story takes place primarily in korea and i had difficulty relating it back to the main action which was supposed to happen in london. but with some tweaks to his backstory ( he studied in the uk ) and lore, i think i’ve made it work.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

not too much. the prototype sad rich kid was just a knockoff of artemis fowl, aka much younger and much less of a sweetheart. now hyeonjin’s 20 in the plot.

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

i think so ! but their tendency of shoving trauma into a closet instead of dealing with it or seeking help could be potential damage to any relationships ( and it is. stay tuned :) )

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

i just feel sorry for him sjdsjdsjf bb you’ve got a long, long way to go — he’s def one of the more unhappy ocs i have.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

a tendency to be a little sanctimonious. i am pure and i am virtuous and i must do the right thing. he’s a bit self-righteous which gets annoying when writing but that’s more because i’m a cynical person.

H) What trait do you admire most?

he’s a good kid. he’s supportive, understanding, polite, genuinely respectful and isn’t really ever petty or vitriolic. a pure boy. baby boy.

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

yes, because i’m not creative.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

mostly family stuff had to be changed to make his home life a little more poisonous. sort of an odd thing to mention, but initially hyeonjin lived with his mother ( who was the businesswoman parent ) while his father was the deadbeat divorcee. but i wanted to talk about how mothers can sometimes get fucked over in divorces, so i swapped them.

#holy hecc #realmzenith #oc talk.

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tedfashionski · 4 years

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Finking, Finking.

Hi, welcome to my ted talk. (That is the only time I will ever make that joke. This is Fashionski Finks. Expect radically low standards of self-involved rantiness with zero research or accountability from here on out). For a while there I seriously thought that the covid-19 quarantine was going to result in people being increasingly placid and accepting of creeping extensions of the police state. But here I am, getting depressed again, not about the protests, which I love, but more about my relationship to in-group pressure dynamics. One of the problems with being a relentless contrarian is the discomfort of my impulse to rebel against groups even when they’re championing the right thing. I have to find my own way to fight against the system as an outsider. No gods, no masters, no fucking peer pressure. I’ll never be happy joining a chorus line. I don’t sign fucking petitions (they’re just lists for the NSA). I do donate, but like fuck will I do it performatively. I can’t go to protests cus I get panic attacky in crowds. I empathise pretty strongly with outsiders of all stripes but believe ridiculously excessively in the public good of criticism, and have a nostalgic love of trolling (I like to think I’m gentle with it though). Bring back the troll! We need that fucker, he’s a sign of a healthy internet. I’m writing this blog thing as an extension of my need to vent my extreme negativity. TBH I never expected to get any followers with ted twitter and the bizarre welcomingness of the hf twitter community totally wrongfooted me. I’m not nice. Ted isn’t meant to likable. He’s my dark side. I was meant to be using this alt as a way to terrorise the nice nice (secretly cruel) fashion people. I’m gunna try and up that aspect more. Just bear in mind, my complaints are largely about the system, but if I see you perpetuating fashion’s entrenched anti-intellectualism or its insidery bullshit, I’ll come for you with a little meta-bomb with your name on it. Maintaining my misanthropic tone does take work tho, like, deep down in some twisted part of my psyche, I guess I do actually want to be liked. It’s fucked up.

I suppose it’s only fair to explain this Ted fursona. Like, new concept, who dis? Why all the furry porn? …..because I just think it’s hilarious. Every time I think about the furries I cackle (not at them, mind). I just love the mad corruption of pure Disney aesthetics into hardcore pornography. That’s anti-authoritarian as fuck. I love the sincerity of their culture. The way the crazy fetish aspect means they’ll never be fully blandified by mainstream acceptance. The way it’s so cringe but so delightful. And more seriously, I’m interested in how a culture of mostly gay male nerds developed to the point where they’ll invest 10k in custom fursuits and support eachother’s independent businesses in ways that the fashion community completely fails to do. The fashion world sucks. There’s so many correlations there that I want to investigate: the newness (furries date from around the 70s, fashion culture in its self-aware state dates from the late 19th C – both very young fields); the centralisation/decentralisation; the hierarchy (furries can be pretty catty, I have discovered in my research, and we all know what fashion people are like); the adoption of new identities; the cis-boy gayness aspect (I’m increasingly tired of the extreme nasty hierarchy of certain CSM queens. It’s all very UGH. Just, fuck those particular bitches.) There’s more to the furry love, but I’ll explore it in future posts.

More importantly, why Ted fucking Kaczynski? I’m not like, actually a terrorist. (….yet. tehehe. NO, seriously I like non-maiming violence. Fuck yeah to property damage. Fuck yeah to disabling the system in extreme way. But no to wooden IEDs. Think of my shitty jokes that fail to land as my hand-crafted bombs). I think I like the shitness of Ted. He was just an epic fail of a terrorist. I’m a little white girl living in London. I’m not actually a primitivist, as much as I crave a hut in the woods. I did go to an elite school though. I had some really shitty experiences in the fashion industry in my early 20s, and I watch my friends who are relatively successful in that system and I get so angry on their behalf at their poor treatment. They think I’m too angry. Fuck that. They should be more angry, and the fact that they can’t be angry at their extreme precarity and the fact they’re still insecure and terrified of being ejected by the system after all their investment and skills they’ve built up is BULLSHIT. I’ll be double angry for them, I’m not invested in that system. I don’t need it to pay my rent. I’m free, motherfuckers, and I’m coming for the abusers and exploiters. If you’re a complacent industry figure not fighting hard from within, uggghhhhh fuck you. Yes, YOU. Soooo, I relate pretty hard to the MK ultra stuff. (go look him up, he was basically tortured and experimented upon by the elite). But there’s a pretty big chasm between my views and his, and I’ll try to be clear about the extent of my interest in his extreme beliefs. I haven’t even finished reading the manifesto. Basically, I watched that shitty show on Netflix with sam worthington around the same time I watched Joker (that movie fucked me up) and thought it’d be a good outlet to larp online as a terrorist. There’s the angry white alt-right school shooter aspect, which I’m still figuring out, cus I’m non-binary and I was raised by nutso trumpy right-wingers, who I barely speak to anymore, and I struggle to get along with people generally. There’s sad, self-pitying rage here. I empathise with the angry white dudes too much. I feel guilty about it. That’s good ground for artmaking (yes, shamefully, this…is…art. Sorry). I modelled this fursona a little after my brother, who I spent years living with and arguing with and trying to lift out of his scary racist youtube rabbit holes. This is actually quite an emotional thing for me, cus I did the ‘talk to your fascist family’ thing. And I completely failed. I realised his right-winginess wasn’t lessening, I wasn’t gaining ground, and in fact my excessive empathy and desire to reach out to the relative most similar to me in character meant his extremism was rubbing off on me. Making me more resentful and depressed. Feeling powerless. I was being too kind-hearted and forgiving of his masculine impotence. So I’m exploring some personal shit here. But Ted is also a cute lil fuzzball teddy bear. He means well, but me being super autistic and faily at social skills means he’s kind of a dick, cus I am. I’m going to try and further develop this character, this POV, and this post is the only time I’ll explain the divide between him and his creator (moi). The ‘I’ on the twitter and here is Ted Fashionski, I need that space between me and him. Masks give us this freedom to be more ourselves. Internet culture has lost a lot of its wild brutal anonymity in the last decade or so, now everyone’s afraid of making mistakes. How the hell do you grow if you’re not allowed to fuck up? This is a vital outlet. He’s become an important part of my life and I have to say, I love being Ted Fashionski. He’s like Paddington Bear who just escaped form Guantanamo or something.

I get pretty fatigued as a matter of course. I’m a long-term depressive since childhood. I have a difficult time keeping my hard-on for living. I don’t get suicidal really but I do struggle with extreme fatigue. I sleep a lot. I often fall into spirals of self-hate. And as someone who utterly believes in revolutionary leftist politics, I beat myself up about not doing enough. I’m so middle class and english and white. I was raised in such a chauvinistic and complacent culture; I don’t even know where to start. I’m wading my way through post-colonial literature and beating myself up for finding it boring and uncomfortable. It’s hard to force yourself to acknowledge your culture is The Bad Guys. It’s easier to fall into fanstasies of supremacy and butthurt misunderstoodness. And it’s not like my depressive brain needs any encouragement to hate me. My trajectory is ever leftwards, but I remember the righteous fury of being right-wing. I get it, that was me. We need more paths back from fascism, more comprehension of why people are that kind of shitty. I talk less, and less well, the more depressed I am. If I’m talking, it means im feeling a lot better. Just, fyi.

Give me a minute to be critical here. With the George Floyd protests, a lot of the cool guys on fashion twitter has gone blazingly hardcore on the political side. But there’s this troubling rhetoric about ‘no return to normal content’ or ‘this isn’t the time for fashion’. Like fuck it isn’t. This is a key problem with fashion culture right here, we have this received perception of fashion as empty escapism. Escapism matters in fashion, yes. But seriously, talking about the surfaces of things does not equal not caring about deeper meaning. What the fuck. Clothes are a connective tissue, a membrane between us. They’re emotional and powerful. We can talk about things that matter THROUGH clothes. I speak fashion, pretty fucking well. Most people who work at fashion magazines are morons with no understanding or respect for their subject. They’re incapable of doing it justice, and that’s deliberate. On this tumblr you’ll see rants and reviews of fashion and other artforms, always interpreting through a fashion lens. cus it matters, cus it’s a vital part of the culture, cus just because something has a glittery, seductive surface doesn’t mean it doesn’t communicate or contain depth. There’s no going back to ‘normal fashion content’, yes. Normal fashion content is a fucking psyop to divert legitimate interest in aesthetics amongst largely non-academic dyslexic visual types away from careful thought/feeling and towards empty consumerist commericiality. The traditional fashion media wants you to express yourself and your interest in the zeitgeist through buying more shit. Another fashion world is possible. Let’s destroy the old and build a new one, one where surface and spirit are connected and true and fashion can’t be abused in service of evil industrial monopolists.

/end rant. TLDR: angry fictional teddy bear with tin-foil hat and an eco-anarchist fetish says no to stupid fashion and yes to the renewal of conceptual fashion. Also, Fuck White People.

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aigoo2 · 5 years

Text

Next Day

I overslept. Shit. I completely forgot about the tutoring for Baek-Hyun. I got up and dressed quickly and just wanted to run library, suddenly I got a call. It was my boss, he wanted me to come to work now because my colleague got sick. Out of stress I had forgotten to write Baek-hyun a text message, which said that i won’t be coming to the library today. I ran quickly to work.

At work~

"Well then you just have to go right and there's the jewelery," I said with a smile to a customer.

"Thank you," she said and left. I relaxed, it was a good day I could feel it. I looked at my documents. "Sorry," said a male voice. I raised my head and saw an attractive student in front of me

"Oh, hello," I said and smiled. "Do you happen to have a charger cable here, my phone died," he said and smiled at me. He was really attractive. I got a little nervous. "Oh yes, I have it here, I'll plug it in to you here," I said and plugged his cell phone. "Now we just have to wait," he said and laughed. "Haha yes. I see you're a student because of the uniform. Which university are you going to?" I asked interestedly. "Oh to Seoul University," he replied. I was surprised. "Omo really. I also want to go to Seoul University," I said and sighed, "Why don't you just go to Seoul University," he asked astonishedly. I waited a moment and showed him to come closer. He leaned towards me. "The costs are too high for me at the moment," I whispered. He looked at me and suddenly got an idea and whispered: "I'm meeting some friends in a Soju bar today, they can reduce your costs. Do you want to come with me," he asked. I looked at him happily and said: "Yes, please, but I can only do it after work". "Yes perfect, just come to this address, there is the Soju Bar, tonight. Ah thanks for charging," he said and I gave him his phone again and he left.

Is this just the beginning of a campus relationship? Omo omo! I'm getting all red! I'm not going to Seoul University yet and I'm already part of a campus relationship. Today is a really good day, Mina.

After work~

I looked at my phone and saw all the calls from Baek-hyun, shit! I had totally forgotten about him, I texted him:

"Sorry, I had to work earlier today. Sorry~~~!"

He texted me back " YAA! Where are you?"

Pff.. what’s with him. mmmhm. I mean I could brag a bit about my new campus romance. I laughed.

I wrote him an SMS : " I'm going to drink Soju with my campus romance boyfriend~~ Do not call me!

He wrote right back " WHERE?????!!". What is his problem? Tztz.. I didn’t respond back.. I changed my clothes and went to the Soju Bar and I already saw the guy from today, my campus boyfriend, and two others.

"Good evening, Mina. Feel like drinking Soju with us," said the guy from this morning's work. I hesitated because I wasn't allowed to drink legally yet, but I couldn't miss the chance. "Sure," I said and smiled and sat down with them. I must say I had never drunk so much in the afternoons. I felt already how I became a little tipsy. But I wanted to keep talking to the students. "Mina, I think you've drunk enough for the night. Let me be your black knight and drink your glass," said one student. The other one talked him in between and said "No let me be your knight and I'll take you home". Today's student at work said, "No, give me the drink, and I'll walk you home". All three looked at me and I said, "What have you all got? I don't need protection," and drank the glass. "But I have a question, who would you choose between the three of us, Mina?" one student curiously asked. All three looked at me curiously. I felt a little uncomfortable and answered: "I have to go to the toilet". I got up and went to the toilet. After washing my face several times, I went out again and saw that the three students went out to the parking lot. I wanted to and suddenly I listened to the three of them talking among themselves: "So for the one who first gets them into bed 100€. Cool," said the one student. " For how cheap she looks we'll make 200€ out," said the guy from this morning. "Agreed", said all three and laughed. I was shocked and took my phone out and called Baek-Hyun.

Call with Baek-Hyun:

Baek-Hyun:YA!Where are you?

Me: Hey. Pick me up.

Baek-Hyun: Why should I?!!

I stood still for a moment and said with a trembling voice: "Just come. Ah it's too humiliating (*I held back my crying*) to go out alone, so just come.”

Baek-Hyun: "Ya! Am I a taxi or what? why do you call me now after you've been ignoring me all day? (*he stopped talking for a moment*)What's wrong with your voice? Is something wrong?" he asked worriedly. "Can't you speak clearly?" he shouted angrily. "Where are you?" he shouted. I told him the address and he said: "Understood, I'll be right there", and hung up.

I left the Soju Bar and went to the parking lot, the students saw me. "Ah Mina, so I'll take you home," said one, "No, I'll go home alone," I said and turned my eyes away. "Mina, I have a new car over there, I'll take you home," said the other one. "No, no, look at my car, that one over there," said the other one. "Mine looks best back there," said the guy from this morning. I clenched my fist and got angry. "So three cars," I said and cracked my neck. I walked up to one car and destroyed the rearview mirror. "Ah what are you doing," shouted a student being shocked and went to his broken car. I went to the other two cars and did the same. I calmed down and shouted out "Listen, you bastards. IM going to say this just once. Women are not objects. We can actually kick your asses." I turned my eyes away and wanted to go. When suddenly the guy from today grabbed my arm and shouted angrily: "You crazy bitch! Where are you going! What 200€, it would be a waste to sleep with you for even 10€" "With a scum like you I wouldn't even sleep for 2 Mio€", I said and looked angrily and pulled my arm out of his grip. "You bitch", he screamed angrily and slapped me, so strongly that I fell to the ground. “Argh", I let out of pain. He took me by the collar and wanted to slap me once again when I suddenly heard someone scream: "YAAA!

It was Baek-Hyun. Me and the three students looked at him. He looked very angry and slowly came towards us until he started running. My campus boyfriend let me go and Baek-Hyun kicked him away. He fell to the ground, stood up again and gave Baek-Hyun one, Baek-Hyun laughed and punched him in the face several times. The guy was lying on the ground. “Why did you hit her, you bastard”,he screamed. He took him by the collar und wnated to punch him again. I knew the police were coming soon and I didn’t want Baek-hyun to be in problem, so I quickly rant to him and took him by the hand. He let go of the guy. The guy fell to the ground in pain. I looked at Baek-Hyun and said: "Come, let's go before the police come". I dragged him away.

In the park~

Baek-hyun sat on the bench and I went to the store and bought orange juice and Band-Aids.

"Here," I said and gave Baek-hyun a bottle of orange juice and sat beside him.

"Thank you," he said. "You bleed, wait," I said and took a handkerchief and moved closer to him and wanted to wipe it off when he suddenly swerved and shouted, "Y-ya what-". "At least let me fix you up, you stubborn punk," I said seriously and took his face in my hand and wiped off his blood and took a band-aid and put it on the wound. "Argh," he suddenly shouted. "Oh, that hurts, sorry I didn't mean that," I said being sorry. "Just kidding," he said and laughed. I hit him on the shoulder. "Argh! that hurt," he shouted.

"Tztz', I said and averted my gaze.

"Sorry for blowing you off today," I said and looked at him apologetically.

“Ya! Just promise me to always take my calls and tell me where you are”,he said and looked at me seriously.

“What are you? A Stalker”,I sighed and looked at him with a grin. “Ah no. Are you my Oppa?”,I teased him.

“O-op-oppa?YA! You better stop”, he shouted annoyed.”Oppa~ Oppa~ Oppa~”, I said with a smile and pushed him with my shoulder several times. I liked teasin him. He laughed. “Aish you are so annoying!”,he said and looked away with a grin. I stood up from my seat and I looked at him and I said “Come, drive me home”.

He sighed loudly and shouted annoyed: "Ya! I'm only being exploited here!: He got up and he drove me home. We said goodbye and I wanted to go into the house when Baek-hyun took my hand.

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maruramu · 7 years

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chicago typewriter ep 16

it took me sooooo long to write my final thoughts in this drama.

since i love to write long ass rants, imma start on how i stumbled on this kdrama.

tbh the last kdrama i finished before i took a break was tomorrow with you (thanks for also breaking me heart) then i decided to watch chinese dramas (and movies). after a month, i came back to watch kdramas again (tunnel > queen of mystery > man x man (i binge watch this but kinda dropped bc i focused to chicago typewriter!!!). i didnt mean to watch chicago typewriter at that time bc im waiting for it to finish first but yoo ah in was calling me ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

and that’s the story on how i got ~addicted~ to kdramas again. addicted meaning i just can’t stop talking about it, thinking about it, and humming the osts every freakin’ where! haha! the last kdramas that made me this addicted were goblin and scarlet heart ryeo~

now, let’s get to the main point of this post: the finale.

if you’re my follower, you can see (my posts) how heartbroken i am bc of episode 15. damn, that episode really broke my heart and soul. and episode 16 did the same thing to me.. the only difference is that the sadness is mixed with happiness.

let me enumerate my faves scenes again:

1. shin yul’s emo moments

- first few seconds and i already cried rivers. my heart’s filled with sadness when hwiyoung died but i literally couldn’t handle shin yul crying his heart out :((((( i love their friendship so much and I CRIED SO HARD WHEN HWIYOUNG SAID IN THE LETTER THAT HE LOVES SHIN YUL. applause for go kyung pyo’s acting 🎉 he did so great i know lots of viewers cried with him too 🎉🎉

2. hwiyoung praying to the sky

- this scene’s strongly reminded me of goblin again but they appealled different to me. the way he prayed not only for his self, but only for his friends made it so touching i had to pause and cry again :((( til the very end his thinking about his friends :((( where can i get a friend like him seriously!!! i also like how cinematography + ost + HIS LINES here, it made the scene so emooooo

4. jeon seol and her mom’s moment - on my ep15 post, i said i would love see jeon seol and her mom together again. im kinda disappointed bc they didnt talk about their present problem so idk if they got together happily after :>(

4. soo hyeon getting back bitches!!!!!

- woooahhhh soo hyeon with the gun, killing everybody partying at carpe diem was the bomb!!! i was screaming, cheering for her like a mad woman (it’s so satisfying to see heo min young and madame sofia getting killed) ㅋㅋㅋ and specially when she said her line, “in the name of joseon youth alliance…” WOW THAT’S SO POWERFUL. there you have it! the strong, independent, lead woman ㅋㅋ kidding aside, i admire soo hyeon for still sticking on joseon youth alliance’s principle. it’s so hard to think and move when think you lost everything… so really thumbs up for soo hyeon for carrying the mission! moreover, i would like to think that she picked up that attitude from hwiyoung (we all know hwiyoung doesnt move by his emotions! joseon first before anybody omg) and that made it so A+++

5. shin yul getting killed by soo hyeon

- i almost choke on my tears here, seriously one of all the saddest scenes! i know soo hyeon’s just carrying her mission but i couldnt help but feel so devastated ahhhhhh loved the im soo jung and go kyung pyo’s acting omg they complemented each other so much :(

6. baek tae min’s scenes - more praises for kwak si yang for his well done acting! hes such an effective villian and i cant imagine another actor for this role! seriously looking forward to watch more of his projects 😍

6. se joo and jin oh bffs moments

- literally the AWWWWWWW MOMENTS! specially when se joo’s telling jin oh to stay *u* our se joo became so soft~ he finally found a true friend after all these years.. considering it’s the same guy he loved and trusted 80 years ago 😭 how can u not love this friendship

and over all:

BALANCE BETWEEN FRIENDSHIP AND ROMANCE

- i know, i know, the viewers been loving the romance between hwiyoung/soohyeon or se joo/jeon seol (i loveeee it tooooo) but I AM JUST TOO HAPPY THEY GAVE US ENOUGH BALANCE BETWEEN THE ROMANCE AND FRIENDSHIP IN THIS FINALE EPISODE. the blend between the sweet scenes for the love birds and heartbreaking scenes among the trio was made just right to my taste. IT’S PERFECT. HONESTLY THEY DRAMA SHOWED WHAT I WANTED. LOOSE ENDS ON THEIR FRIENDSHIP WERE FINALLY TIED. THEY MADE PEACE WITH THE PAST & FOCUSED ON THE PRESENT (though the present’s still so sad wtfffff really) THE ENDING SCENE GOT THE AUDIENCE THINKING AND IMHO, THATS A GOOD WAY TO MAKE AN IMPACT TO THE AUDIENCE. A VERY NICE JOB TO END A MASTERPIECE 👍

all over ratings: 10/10 acting: 10/10 everything else: 10/10 😂😂😂 IM SO SAD TO LET GO OF THIS DRAMA :(((( IT’S A REFRESHING KDRAMA FOR ME.. LEARNING A BIT OF KOREAN HISTORY IN THIS WAY IS ACTUALLY FUN AND ENTERTAINING (WHICH BTW, KUDOS TO THE WRITER) i have this feeling of wanting to suggest it to others but at the same time wanting to just keep it to myself 😭😂 it’d be hard for me to watch a new kdrama/continue some of my kdramas *sigh* i need to clear my mind first so my judgement wouldnt be clouded lmao anyway, this kdrama probably topped my list for this month… or.. this year. next stop: wait for the year-end awards and watch this drama take hope awards (YOO AH IN GOTTA WIN THE BEST ACTOR AWARDS IN TVN OK?????)

#took me ages to finish this post #im sad all over again #my heart hurts #ahhhh #chicago typewriter #yoo ah in #im soo jung #go kyung pyo #thank u to all who became a part of this drama #cryingggg #fave #kdramas

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induratis · 7 years

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so im just gonna rant about how annoying clarke is but also how wonderful? like she’s such an asshole????? like she never lightens up??? like goddammit clarke take a chill pill & get high or something but like also at the same time she’s so fluffy && soft on the inside??? she needs so much therapy & soft things????? she puts on this huge like disassociated, disreality, objective front because her heart is so fucking huge?????????? like a pigeon could die & she’d be wrecked???? so?? of course she’d be so goddamn overwhelmed with feelings to the point of overwhelming– /no/ & pushes it away– because the LEVEL TO WHICH SHE FEELS– man. if she’d get wrecked over the smallest of things, imagine how catatonic she’d become (if she didn’t close herself off) if someone close to her died. so instead, when she’s looking back on these things- she rewrites the memory so she’s watching herself go through it, away from her body. LIKE SHE LITERALLY IS HALLUCINATING FINN THATS HOW STRONGLY SHE FEELS?????????? flashback after flashback after flashback of her hands covered in black blood stuck on a loop stuck on a loop stuck on a loop– it didn’t happen to me, it happened to her, it happened to her, the inner me, it happened to her, i am not me, i am the space around me, i am the body around the inner me, i just am so go

#;; my little fucked up ptsd bab #dpd tw #depersonalization //#trigger warning #☪ || klark kom skaikru (headcanons)

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channellingenigma-blog · 7 years

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Notes and conversations with low vibrating entities and enlightenment of higher forms

Edgar Cayce - On Reincarnation Chapter 3 - Man’s subconscious mind is immortal. Thought can be compared to molten lava- malleable, perpetually moving, changing, capable of resuming any form. Solid mater is its inanimate aftermath, responsive only to the chisel and the hammer.

Im-Pro-Vision Thought is a builder A series of chain reaction that survival of the soul molds its destiny Thought was the original motivating force positive thought can eventually release the soul from solid matter and return it to freedom of its fluid state at the astral level.

E. Cayce was able to contact his superconscious by means of his own quite unique form of self-hypnosis, it must be born in mind by the reader that he is the expectation, a glimpse of ourselves as we will be Tomorrow. (Tomorrow is now.)

*******The still small voice of consciousness~~~~ Reflection (personal thought which resides in me) Thought: -Waiting for re-entry- ********Quiet~~~~

Souls are like installments of a serialized novel in a magazine. To be continued is our next issue.

so, your soul dies at the end of life and appears again in a new body, you do not start from scratch, you pick up exactly where you left off.

(intuitive question: If you pick up where you left off…. whats the point of waiting for re-entry? You’ll be in the same predicament) =Answer. The idea of being younger and picking up where I left off could potentially have better results then making any attempt to fix where I am at right Currently there is a lack naivety=

The next “para”-graph. *clarity level: Moderate Quick synopsis Failed to curb a passion for through rocks through greenhouses Next life you can resign yourself to owning a greenhouse where you you’ll have to enjoy being at the receiving end. Grin and bear every clash of a rock as it glides through the window. Every bash makes the score as even or karmic value. If you dip into self pity, insisting you’ve done nothing to deserve such a fate, simply put you lose.

So… (smart ass remark) reincarnation……. Grin and bare it.

_developing understand_ The Im-pro-vision at the top, cryptically and figuratively describes this as well

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Sub-chapter: Free Will is stronger then Destiny %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Karma is memory, thus the laws of cause and effect were elastic. However sore the traits may be in which you find yourself there by your own previous indifference. You broke your own free will. Knowing this allows you dignity and self-respect that you made your own mistakes.

Chapter 4 Physical and Emotional Karma %%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Sub-chapter 4 Arrogance and Self-righteousness %%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Condemning of others is already a condemning of self

Reflection Meets Smartass***** *based on a conversation I just have, i apparently find myself to be a lazy sack of shit, being I stated others perceive me that way.

*observations* I may have been active in another life, so this one, I’ve slowed down. I may have been wealthy in another life and lived beyond my means, ad this one I am average and live only within my means, I may have been extremely social in another life, now i like a life of isolation (Focus on above during mediation/trance)

Done onto others shall be Done onto you, Done onto others we do onto self.

*observation/breakdown of Sub-chapter* I may have chosen this chapter also to help my own soul growth/understanding. The sub chapter is about one woman’s readings of her emotional karma which i seem to be relating too, or at least there is internal resonation which is creating reactions within the tension of muscles in my face and body heat. It also seems to map out this particulars woman’s soul journey through 3 lives and how they may possibly be intersecting and where she may have missed or gained opportunities for soul growth.

Chapter 5 - The element of fear in emotional karma Sub-Chapter - The Root Cellar A woman asked Cayce why she has so much fear in the present. His response: She had be subjected to many fears in a physical sense in her pervious lives, and these have come through to her in the present through her subconscious memories.

*Im-Pro_Vision* (in the form of a rhyme) Harvest energy, expending fear. Create some kind of positive ideal. Profit rather the Lose, the Karmic Dues.

Another reading, of a girl, chosen intuitively to read which again resonates with persona inflictions seen within myself.

*quote is speaking of girl mention above* “Once she understood the source of her social timidity, it had the effect of exonerating the innocent people she had needlessly been fearing and enabling her to see them in an objective, congenial light.”

Being: Why don’t we remember our past lives? E.C: We do not have to remember. We are the sum total of all our memories.

Slight improvisation, “time catch up” *Im-Pro_Vision* We are the manifestations of our habits, idiosyncrasies, likes and dislikes, or talent and blind-spots, our physical and emotional strengths and vulnerabilities.

Strange… odd… I’ll have to make a photocopy when i return the book but Page 522 unto 523… all have key points of thinks PFJ have said to me during our time in union with one another. Im pretty sure he side them before his discovery of E, Cayce. His voice kept transmitting at the parts he once said to me. (He was in my dream once again, Only long enough to look one another in the eyes while in a convenient store.) (Remove para-graph before final print out, insert photocopy. Make side notes)

Final Note on Chapter….

“you will know the reasons deep within self”

Chapter 8 - Man__ The stranger in the earth.

There is a scenario given about E. Cayce being evicted from his physical body by the self-hypnotic process. (This is now considered an OBE/Astral projection) He makes reference to levitating above about a foot above his physical body. A gentleman in the room was handing a note across E. Cayces body to another person in the room and Cayce could feel the impact of the mans fist going through his astral equivalent body, as though he was being punched.

The body has the ability to separate itself into at least three separate levels of electric vibration. (this is much like dividing atoms into separate energies, all different but coexistence.) Its liking moving from plane to plane of consciousness with the ease of a man switching from AM to FM and then to TV on the same console. (now thats something to think about)

(Not in book, from Wiki) AM Frequency ~~~~~~~~ (250 - 50000 Watts) FM Frequency ^V^v^V (Uses VHF frequencies, see below) TV Frequency (54-216mzh) VHF (470-890mhz) UHF (Also TV also adds in projections)

*Sub-Chapter - The Same Law Governs all Planets* “Each individual must lead this own life, whether in this sphere or in the other planes”

-A quote similar to above hangs on my wall-

**Observation** Its not stated here, but each of the planets represent part of the souls path. Earth is know to be bound with knowledge. We learn here, while on other planets our soul energies grow differently. https://youtu.be/b6Zt37aMROM What I believe E. Cayce means by “All insufficient matter is cast to saturn” is its kind of like in incubator, its helps parts of souls which have fallen to far behind. Now I prose a question, if we are all interconnected, our soul origins must be as well. SO the question is, What if within this human shell, a part of our soul reaches a level of growth. I am beginning to believe we are not designated one soul as a whole through out our time here on earth. Parts of the developed soul leave the shell and is replaced by another soul/energy. Considering how often people change through out their time here on earth its quite possible this could contribute to the reasoning.

**Sub-Chapter** The Planetary Influences

Few things on this sub-chapter, its rather short.

1. The planet influencing earth minds was mars And by 1924 mars would be 35million miles away from earth. Currently in 2016 Mars 33.9 million miles away…. I made a video based on mars influence in Nov. 2015… while mars was at its farthest position from the sun. (Not sure what the significance of the last part is, but i feel it coincides)

Okay. Now this is were it gets interesting….

Next Cayce says The influences (of mars) will be felt as it recedes from the earth and those who have sojourned on mars will be express, in their lives upon the earth, the troublesome times that will arise.

This will only be tempter from those of jupiter, venus, and uranus by means of love and strength.

Now…. how to we know who is from where? Do we use our astrological birth charts which reads what stars where in what place at the time of our birth? Is it purely intuitive?

*Sub-Chapter* The Astrological Influences,

The planets of man are ruled by the planet under which is born. The strongest force affecting the destiny of man is the Sun, then the closer planets to the earth, those coming to accession a the time of the birth of the individual.

Mans own will power is stronger then any action of a planet or of sun and moon phases. (Yet becomes extremely helpful when one loses their on will power. This could possibly be why intuition steps in. Its a quick glimpse of the magic of energy, energy has “power” properties, just as energy is needed to put will into motion.)

**Sub-Chapter - The Soul;s immunity to Death**

A soul freed by death could be compared to anything which is capable of floating free from restriction A soul encased in a living body can be compare to anything being held in place yet has movement.

Thought-Forms: Concentrated thought yet lacking solidity of mundane matter. Souls could be considered a thought-from when they are free from a body,

*Observation,Refection,Rant,Connecting the Dots* Regardless that there is truth to “thoughts are things” I still strongly believe it should be worded “Things are thoughts” A lot of thoughts never become things, yet things normally originated as thought. A few years ago a massive brainwashing went through mainstream media, which is still known to this day as “The secret” The company apparently coined the term “thoughts are things” then added the threat “pick good ones” Well quiet frankly ever since my eyes have open up to this horrible nature of this world of massive mind control I’ve been trying extremely had to kill myself through thought froms and manifestations which clearly hasn’t happen yet. So why would that be!?

What Cayce says is this: On all mental levels other than the conscious mind, “Thoughts are things” and thus a thought-form, once its created, is as real and tangible as the mind which created.,,, Now this is what the Secret doesn’t tell you….. It (as in thought-forms, got to keep you with me here) can only manifest itself to the conscious mind as a vision or a hallucination (which yes, makes you delusional) Now Cayce makes reference to LSD being able to break down a “protecting barrier and submit the “user of lsd” to a direct contact with thought-forms not only of his own, but of others.

&&&Inner Thoughts Woven&&& Now myself personally, i have never done LSD, Mushrooms, DMT, Peyote or Acid, I have been effected by thought-froms not only of my own, but of others.

Cayce died in 1945 something must have change.

I will allow your imagination to build up a conclusion. I have about 5 of my own ideas, so being Its a thought now, does that make it a thing? No. ONLY a manifestation with a possibility of truth, yet unproven, I can develop the thought form enough that it projects as real, yet it is still only a hallucination or a delusion, DMT is a powerful psychedelic compound which was synthesized in 1931, 1946 it was discovered in plants, 1960 it was detected in mammalian organisms, in 2011 DMT was found present in primates, located in the pineal gland, retinal ganglion neurons, and spinal cord, and in 2013 DMT was located in the pineal gland of rodents. There is record is DMY also naturally occurring in the human brain.

The Pineal gland is also known as the third eye…. the minds eye. Allow you imagination to digest that. &&&&End&&&

#####When Laura occupies Cayce##### The creator never intended for souls to manifest on earth. in human bodies; there was no division of the souls into males and female, therefor the animal reproduction wasn’t available to them. So the souls would occupy animal bodies, (think of a hermit crab trying to occupy a koch shell, the “shell’ was already occupied.) Two entirely alien forms of life were sharing a common physical heritage. This may very well be the start of evolution. Hence why we are linked not only to primates but reptiles as well. (all hypothetically “thinking”) #########

Cayce Quote “We find these sons of the Creative Forces looking upon those changed forms, the Daughters of Men. And there crept in thsoe pollution’s; or rather, they polluted themselves with those mixtures, This brought contempt, hatred, bloodshed, and those impulses which build for self-desire, without respect for another’s freedom.”

What the quote is making reference too:

Bolder souls employed their free will to intrude into a denser vibration of animal matter, the wiser hesitated, and it was well that they did.

The souls who found themselves entrapped into their flesh prisons where unable to extricate themselves….

&&&inner thought&&& (oh the many times in the last year my soul seems to be realizing its entrapment. The time the inner voice has screams “GET ME OUT OF HERE” as if begging for death, but knowing it can’t be self inflicted. &&&&

The alien matter of the material world now acted like a gears of a machine. It engorged the souls and swept them souls along with it, unable to conform to or escape the laws of animal evolution, it was a planet of half man and half beast.

The souls who had remained free were unable to come to the rescue. They could only look on, helpless and bewildered.

This when Cayce says the Creator made man. These are what he calls the “Sons of God” The souls who inhibited animal bodies are the “Sons of Man”

The Sons of Gods consisted of 5 race catagories. Black, Brown, Red, Yellow, Whtie

Cayce focused most of his attention on the Atlantis which cradled the “red race” yet he does make mention to the Lumiera which cradled the black race.

Atlantean Influences apply particularly to those soul-groups who chose NOT to reincarnate at a steady rate of progress. Atlantean’s commanded the powers of ESP and telepathy, harnessed electricity, mastered the mechanical propulsions of air and sea vessels, established short wave communications, induced longevity and performed advance surgery using their “source energy” and the misuse of the same energy destroyed them. (sound familiar? or is someone excreting a lot of DMT, the perspective is yours… lets continue)

Atlantean’s strived to alter and improve the laws of Nature, to attain a fantastic height of power and then proceeded to abuse it. The rejected the creator to worship their own vices. The remained perfectly aware of the laws of Karma, but made error of assuming there accumulated debt could easily be paid off at any given time in the future. When mans senses were reduced to a minimal of 5 they found themselves as impotent as a hermit crab without a shell.

The karmic debt was extended to infinity (incarnations), instead of two lives (incarnations) for their offensives against the creator, he now demanded thousands (incarnations).

Possible recognition of someone carrying the karmic debt of an Atlantan soul: Extremists Know no middle grounds Worship Lust, violence, and death

the living and the dead, is a metamorphous. The souls involved in the final armageddon will be the same souls he always were in the beginning. Nothing will have changed except the plane of consciousness they occupy. They will move from the confines of matter to the eternal plane of their origin.

Chapter 17 - The present attitude toward reincarnation. *Sub-chapter - The Public*

Basically the public sees reincarnation through the eyes of the masses. The more people who are “about something” makes it closer to truth, regardless if thats the actual case. Sure horrors are inevitaby assimilated by what Carl Jung calls the collective unconscious of an entire nation. When people contract an infection of the psyche, taboos retard its intellectual reason for generations to come.

We all have so much doubt, not only in ourself and each other, but our beliefs. We confine ourself to restraints of what the majority of people are doing, and we base our thoughts and actions on that alone. We stop thinking for ourself and conform to whatever one else is doing, and if you are one who steps away from the crowd, your quickly trampled by current of others. If your not trampled your ridiculed. You’re singled out. Not because you dared to be different but because the mass of those whom you refuse to be like all became one united judge, bang the mallet and declared you insane, or retarded, something in which they certainly are not.

When in the end, the difference should have been accepted,

Yet we all rather, and notice I said we, rather point fingers and cast blame.

Chapter 18 Reincarnation in the Future.

If reincarnation lies inherent in these deeper truths, it will be automatically recognized and accepted by the human race as they attain to that plateau of deeper perception. He could read minds and see auras. He would think of people in connection with their auras, the aura was the weathervane of the soul, it shows which way the winds of destiny are blowing. He felt the lost of eye sight may very well be a result of a constant straining on our eyes to see more, and to bring us to the next step of evolution. E. Cayce felt a possible from of our next evolution would be seeing auras, I second that, but I also think it involves projecting auras as well.

An aura is an effect, not a cause. Its caused by atoms and molecules how ever simple or complex to tell a story of itself, its patterns, its purpose through vibrations. As the soul travels through realms of beings creating the story, changing the patterns, as it may use or abuse the opportunities presented to it. The human eye sees all this through vibrations through color. Now I’d like to take a second to allow the imagination to accept, even if its pretending that auras can be seen by the human mind. If its vibrations there is movement and movement creates patterns, (think of a cup of water sitting on a table, then you slam your fist down the water in the cup begins to move) the ripples are projecting, so the auras could project with moods and thoughts to the point its visible to the eye which can already see an aura. Now, lets say a person is aware that yes, then can see auras, yes there is movement within the aura, what if you could control the movement of the aura to the point, its not surrounding you but is standing in front of you while you look in a mirror. Its interesting to humor to say the least if your a creative person who like to think different.

Now of course, everything one can get excited about, naturally has to have some kind of negative weight to create a balance. E. Cayce came up with an “imagine” scenario on the opposite side of the spectrum…. A soul could radiate history through aura vibrations. If another being is conscious enough to apprehend those vibrations in his self, that being would know the plight he us in the progress he’s made. Also imagine everyone who sees auras would know if your lying, you will have to be direct and there will be no more deceit.

Danger, Death, Catastrophe, will not come unannounced, no more surprises. All the information behind these examples as well as wealth, virtues, weaknesses will instantly be known by all those around you base on your vibration in the atmosphere. It is difficult to project ourselves in such world, a world where we see each other faults but then again how many vices would persist when they are known to everyone?

Every phase of phenomena may be explained by the activities of the subconscious mind. There are Do’s and Dont’s to telepathy. Through telepathy anyone who wants to control another person, can do it— but beware. The very thing you wish to control in the other person will be the thing that destroys you. Anyone who would force another to submit to his will is a tyrant, Do not ask another person to do anything would not do yourself.

At times we are able to sense what people are thinking and we learn the trend that their thoughts take. Going back to the history of Atlantis, such forces of mental telepathy where highly developed. There were numbers of people able to think with such concentration that the power of their will could bring material things into existence

Such forces for selfish purposes can result only in self destruction.

Back to the now… Few people allow other individuals to ive their own lives. Most people want to tell others how to life, wanting to force them to live their way and see things as they see.

If first a person seeks to know themselves then the ability to know another’s mind will come.

We have the right to tell people of our personal experiences and let them decide for themselves.

The answers come to each one of us, as to whether these abilities are worth developing or not. (In reference to abilities beyond our 5 sense)

Remember,

“When we use the forces within to serve the Creative Force then we are using them correctly. If we are using them for our own selfish interest they are being abused.”

End of Notes on “Edgar Cayce on Reincarnation”

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spiritual-doctor4u · 5 years

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FLOW CHARTING DEPRESSION - for mental health

FLOW CHARTING DEPRESSION - STEP BY STEP

DIS-MEMBER / DIS-AT-EASE ENVIRONMENT

/ I \ I

#HURT DEHYDRATION HARM EXTERNAL STIMULI -------Death of loved one

I I I / \ Loss monetary

INJURY I DISEASES COGNITION BELIEFS Broken Heart

\ I / Migraine I I Divorce

\ I / Asthmatic I I Separation

\ ------- PAIN-------/ I NEGATIVE EMOTIONS I

I Anginal DOUBT Empty nest

I Spondalitus ANGER Loss of Role

I Dyspepsia REVENGE Vacuum

I Colic LOOSE HOPE Retire

I Arthritis I

I DEEP MELANCHOLY

I FRUSTRATED

ACUTE ----- I----------------------------------- CHRONIC-------/

I I

I Blood/Urine/Stool I

DOCTOR & TESTS D E P R E S S I O N

I Ultrasound/X-ray I I \ COGNITIVE AFFECTS

I I I Vituperating

POSITIVE -----------------------------------NEGATIVE I Malingering

\ I Ranting

F I X I Blaming

/ \ I Bracing

#SURGERY MEDICATIONS----SIDE-EFFECTS PHYSICAL AFFECTS Whining

Rashness Blur Vision Frowning

Wt. Gain Memory loss Rubbing

Indigestion Slow movement Twitching

Dry Mouth Use of Crutches Grimacing

Constipation Support of Cane

Less Urine Appetite loss

Sleep disorder

High fatigue

SINKING INTO DEPRESSION

How does one get into a depression? Clinging like a leech to the past. Our own memory gets us into this black hole of depression. The events in the real world affect us so strongly, that we break down mentally and physically.

LIFE IS A SERIES OF MISHAPS FOR MOST

Broken heart is bound to happen someday. You put your head in the sand like the crane and refuse to see it coming. Divorce, is a way of going on separate paths with new partners or even alone. You cannot bear this loss. It is better than suffering, in a troubled marriage. Empty nest situation is inevitable in your life time. Children will grow up and fly away to find their own nests. This loss of role leaves, a giant hole in your life and you are shattered. Death of a loved one is truly shocking and you were not prepared for it. But this is how life is, highly unpredictable like the other situations: Job loss, retirement, accidents.

UNEDUCATED IN ANGER MANAGEMENT

When any of the above events happen in your life, you are jolted to the very core of your being and thrown out of balance. The first reaction is of shock, denial and disbelief. Anger kicks in. Why me, is the first question, we want an answer for? But there are no answers. Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal, with the intent of throwing it at someone else. But you are the one, who is getting burned, by holding on, to that hot coal.

PAIN IS NORMAL FOR MOST - ALLERGIC TO HAPPINESS / JOY

Sadness followed by fatigue sets in, next. This ball of pain starts as an ache in your heart. It starts to grow bigger and bigger. Soul crushing sense of hopelessness is followed by deep melancholy and despair. This combination of complex feelings and emotions should not last very long. A normal person must be out of this predicament, in a week or two. But when they persist, showing no signs of leaving you, then you are in big trouble. The ball of pain is now a snow ball of anxiety, pessimism, and dread out of proportions.

SOCIAL ILLNESS

A full blown depression is on its way. It is a social illness, because it affects all other people around you. Now the depression moves a step further and takes over the body. A feeling of NO-SELF is experienced. Depression is flat, hollow, and unendurable aloneness. You become slow in the mind, cannot walk normally, lacking in grace, polish, and coordination. It does graduate many times to a higher level of violence, or total with drawl. Depression bleeds relationships through suspicion and lack of confidence. Your own relatives and friends keep their distance now, just in case. So you end up being all alone, more and more. This is an enormous stress on you, taking you downhill, even faster. Next, you know that you have a full blown depression. For the second time, you get into denial and try to keep it a secret. You are mortally afraid of the stigma of depression. Hence you are prepared to suffer, in greater pain of shame and silence. To complicate the situation further you get into the victim and victimizer mentality. This is the third stage of depression and a pretty advanced one. All your time and energy is focused on blaming others for the unhappiness in your life. Emotional pain is expressed by criticizing, vituperating, ranting, and whining.

MENTALLY AGILE, BODILY IMMOBILE

Psychic scars are left behind when you believe that you are ugly, goofy, and incapable. Then you go into depression. What is the way out of your self-created sorry state of affairs? Be depressed, don’t fight it. Be aware, even trying being happy. It will go away. Many times, we take drastic measures to get out of these deplorable situations. Extreme actions, can lead us to even bigger problems and we can end up being paralyzed. Now you are lying down in bed, and cannot move at all, physically. But what is the mind doing. It is mobile. It is thinking and thinking in the wrong direction. You cannot move any part of your body. This is the single thought that is recurring. You are reinforcing the belief that you cannot move.

THE POWER OF AUTO SUGGESTION

Auto suggestion is working for you, of course in the opposite way. The body cooperates with the mind and the muscles do not get the electric charges essential for the muscular movement. How to get out of this predicament? You have to put in the reverse gear and drive away. The same auto suggestion has to be made to work for you, in the correct manner, the positive way. Think, and think that you can move. Imagine yourself doing all the normal activities. Visualize that you are running the marathon and winning it. Belief is the only factor that is holding you down on the bed. You do not need a doctor to help you. You need a hypnotist to get you up and running. When a hypnotist puts you in a trance and suggests that you can walk and move, the body cooperates immediately. You begin to walk as normally as before. We replaced auto suggestion with external suggestion and it worked. This proves beyond doubt, that there is nothing wrong, medically with the body. It also proves that the mind is the chief culprit. If you are alone in the house and god forbid, fire broke out in the room. You will get up and run out of the house to save yourself. This is the power of the mind over matter, or the body. Do not wait for external suggestions; change your beliefs with auto suggestion. You have the power in you. First say to yourself, what you would like to do or be? Then do what you have to do to get there.

HEALING YOUR PAIN

A doctor or a surgeon, can repair a damaged heart, but never repair a broken heart. It is only YOU, who can do this. Of course a healer can help and assist. When you discover that something is broken in your life, mind, heart, or spirit, you must go deep down, to find out the cause of the breakage. So you open up the component, examine it minutely; find the origin of the breakage or malfunction. Then, you decide to fix it or replace it. If fixing is needed, got to do it very carefully, delicately and give it a test run. Otherwise throw it away and replace it. Clean up the place, it once occupied. This is called Closure. It is a prerequisite, for HEALING. Many times, when love or lack of love, breaks our hearts, we allow our hearts to become brittle, hard and we close up, totally.

We do not have to be so harsh, on ourselves. For your own sanity, accept it. It is another lesson to be learnt. The trick is, to LET GO.

Letting go, is accepting, learning and experiencing it, as you grow up.

Letting go, is to be thankful for the experience that made you laugh and cry.

To let go, is to cherish the memories, to overcome and move on. To let go, is not, thinking sad thoughts, and forgetting.

It is having an open mind and confidence in the future.

It is neither winning or losing, nor giving in.

It is not about pride and how you appear.

It is not obsessing or dwelling in the past.

It should not leave feelings of emptiness, hurt, sadness, anger, jealousy, or regret.

It is certainly about you; all you have had and will have, soon again.

COURAGE TO CHANGE

Have the courage to accept change and summon up strength, to keep moving on. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. Love is not a thing or a material object, which can be lost, when given. It is like an ocean. It is bound to come back, if you allow it. Be prepared to open a door, clear a path, and set yourself free. Break up! No, never. You have to do it gently, respect fully, do not be hard on yourself and the other person. Don’t fight sadness. Try to make it go away. Welcome it, indulge in it, feel it. Buy yellow roses as friendship signal and become stronger.

YOUR BELIEFS ARE THE REASON FOR YOUR PAIN

Pain and suffering is inevitable in this world, but being miserable is optional. This brings the ball back into your coat. Pain in the human body is a signal for action. Physical harm or hurt, like an injury or a disease will cause severe pain. Now, is the time to get a doctor to make a house call on you? The doctor will examine you thoroughly and conduct a couple of tests, to make sure what and where the malady lies. If the results of the tests are positive, the doctor will take corrective action and fix your problem. If the results of the tests are negative, you are stuck with a bigger problem, which this doctor cannot fix. It is chronic pain syndrome. Chronic pain is long lasting, irritant, dis-enabling you, from doing your normal social activities: working a job, loss of memory, upset appetite, sleeplessness, perpetual fatigue, slowing down in movements, saying no to sexual pleasures and missing out on laughter and joy, which life has to offer. Your cognition, about chronic pain is fundamental to this cause.

In the primitive days, pain was associated with evil spirits.

In the Judeo-Christian era, pain was accepted as punishment for our sins.

In Greece, pain is taken up as a challenge to deal with.

In China, pain is identified with imbalance in Yin-Yang energies.

Today, pain is the basis of disease-medicine model by our doctors.

CHRONIC PAIN SYNDROME

When you continue to accept your cognition of pain syndrome, the pain persists and gets you into a vicious loop. Doubting emotions are self-fulfilling beliefs. First you lose hope and then lose control over self. The next set of emotions that take over, are anxiety, anger, revenge, for the person who you think, is responsible for your pain, depression, despondency, and finally frustration. All this is in your mind. The experts call it cognition dissonance. It is your inner turmoil resulting from contradictions in personal beliefs and behavior. Cognitive behavior embraces a whole range of mannerisms. You become visible to others, by using supports, canes, crutches, chairs. You also use rubbing, frowning, twitching, jerking, sighing, to draw attention. You voice yourself by moaning, complaining and verbalizing. When you are all alone you reinforce the thoughts by silly self-talk in your head. Why me? The pain hurts and hurts badly. The mind helps the body cooperate, by the absence of all brain-chemicals specially, endorphins.

Chronic pain management encompasses three primary stages. Cognitive restructuring, is achieved by asserting yourself positively. You stop self-talk thoughts, by giving a command to self. Gradually you become useful, thus boosting up your self-esteem, to get out of the loop. Relaxation and deep breathing are recommended as the second step. Self-hypnosis, by visualizing on pleasant events, helps on mental level. Lastly you must exercise to release brain chemicals in the system. Exercising additionally helps reconditions your muscles, tissues and stamina on the physical level.

Personally, this chapter is not applicable to me because I was a born healer. I was consulted by my friends on many different problems as early as 16 years of age. I would ask them their monthly consumption of oil, sugar, rice and wheat in kilograms. Next I would advise them to simply change the ratios and see the results. It always worked. I was a social scientist right from start. There were no heart breaks because we were taught that right things will happen at the right time. Since we studied in coed schools we always had friends of both sexes. On the home front, we had a dozen she cousins & very close family friends to interact with and grow up congenially. I was the lucky one to go and live with my uncles, aunts for long extended periods. I was introduced to yoga exercises at a very early age. In college I played all racket games like badminton, lawn tennis, squash, & table tennis to keep myself in perfect shape. So fortunate........ unbelievable.

Rohit Khanna - Before knowledge Insane, After knowledge IN-SANE

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