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blondiest · 9 months

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The year is 2009. The month? August. The day...? I'm so glad you asked. It's the 24th. Birthday of the specialest boy in the whole world (Near. Obviously.)

Near HIMSELF doesn't actually do anything for it, sadly. He's on that grind working with the SPK. No time. Although maybe he makes Rester go pick up a fancy lego set he's had his eyes on for a while. Still, he doesn't actually celebrate — no one there knows it's his birthday, and that's how he would prefer it. He doesn't want anyone to fuss.

HOWEVER. Across the country. In the state of California. In the city of Los Angeles. Sitting on a zebra-print couch inside a highly secret mafia base. Mello is acutely aware that it's Near's birthday. And he's annoyed as all fuck that he's acutely aware of it. Near probably doesn't remember when it's HIS birthday, and he doesn't WANT to remember that it's Near's birthday, but here he is, remembering that it's Near's goddamn birthday.

Still, he's busy, too. All his mafia shit. Collecting evidence (and stealing it from Near through Ratt). Et cetera et cetera. So he manages to keep his mind off of it. For the most part, anyway. But then eventually it gets kinda late, and he's done the things that he can do for the day, so he's about to head back to his apartment. But one of the mafia guys invites him to drink with them.

Normally he says no. Mostly because he doesn't really want to be intoxicated / compromised in front of people that he doesn't really want to have info on him. However. Going back to his apartment alone sounds kind of wretched. So this time he joins them. Except Mello has an absolutely terrible understanding of his own limits / tolerance level so he gets completely blackout drunk :/

I'm imagining he has, like, a place he sleeps in the mafia base sometimes when he doesn't feel like driving back to his apartment (like if he stays late enough that there's not a point). So he wakes up. Horrible hangover. Wretched. He tries to remember the events of the night before; nothing past his third drink (<- a lightweight). He checks his cell phone; he made three calls to Ratt, two of which lasted less than ten seconds and the third of which lasted two minutes. This immediately sets off alarm bells in his head. He's panicking.

So Mello gets dressed and drags himself out of his shitty little makeshift bedroom and starts subtly asking around for what happened the night before. Several of the men are super evasive about it, but after a few well-placed threats, someone finally reveals that he disappeared for thirty minutes and came back with a box that he INSISTED needed to go to the post office first thing in the morning.

Huge wave of cold dread. He asks if the box has already been mailed. The guy is like. Well. Yeah. It's one in the afternoon. You told us to ship it first thing. So it's gone.

Mello is in shambles over this. He starts frantically searching his little makeshift bedroom for clues of what the hell he might have sent Near. In the garbage can he finds a crumpled-up and half-legible lovehate letter. He can't read all of it— some of the handwriting is atrociously messy, other parts a bit smeared— but what he can make out is damning. There are, like, three full sentences about Near's eyes. One of the sentences describes them as "bug-like," which isn't so embarrassing for him, but the other two use words like "captivating" and "enigmatic" and, bafflingly, "celestial."

((a bit ns // fw [not explicit, just suggestive] under the cut))

In addition to waxing poetic about Near's appearance, there's an entire paragraph of him speculating on what Near would be like in bed (the words "clumsy" and "squeaky" and "lousy" all make appearances). That's not great— he doesn't really want to sexually harass / insult his lifelong rival via snail mail, regardless of how celestial his eyes are— but the next paragraph is worse.

Paragraph is a generous description— it's just one very long run on sentence. Don't worry though it's okay you're a weird awkward virgin who would give really bad head I still love you think you're cute and youcould probably learn because I could teach you stuff and as long as you listen to me you'll be fine <- only HALF of the sentence from hell.

Anyways. For a second he's like well, it's here in the trash, so I guess I didn't send it, but it pretty much immediately occurs to him that the one in the trash was a draft, because notably something still did get sent to Near. It's weird that he used a box, but then, he was pretty fucking drunk, and he probably just used whatever was lying around. He goes through the five stages of grief plus three secret additional stages (which are all just him screaming into a pillow, but with varying degrees of anguish / rage / mortification) and then just. Hopes that the letter gets lost in the mail. Tries to forget about the whole thing. Moves on with his life.

A week later, in New York City, Rester brings a package to Near. They don't get packages— anything they receive from the US Government is hand-delivered by someone with clearance, and they always have a heads-up that someone's coming. The box has already been opened— Rester had someone screen it first, had it scanned via x-ray and then opened by someone dressed in head-to-toe biohazard gear in case there was anthrax inside. There wasn't. Rester tells him there's no return address and no name of the sender. Inside the box is a single disposable camera.

Near immediately knows that there is no one it could be from but Mello— no one else who could have figured out where he was. It looks like Mello's handwriting on the box, too, though it's honestly pretty messy, even for him. He doesn't know what could be on the camera, but he presumes it's got to be sensitive information.

He tells Rester he needs the film developed. Emphasizes how important the contents of the camera are to him. It's essential that not a single photo is lost. Rester nods, disappears. Comes back like five hours later with an expression of subdued bemusement. Hands Near an envelope with the photos in it. Looks like he's going to say something, but doesn't. Leaves.

Near opens the envelope. Inside are 30 separate photos of Mello. Most of them don't show any of his face. All of them were taken with flash on. All in front of a mirror.

All shirtless.

He puts the photos back in the envelope and tucks the envelope into his shirt and goes back to work. His face feels hot for a long time after. Distantly he feels disappointed that he can't ask Mello why he went to all the trouble of tracking Near down just to send something like that, but he can't ask his employees to spend their time trying to track Mello down in return for such a trivial personal matter.

Things proceed more or less as they do in canon. Mello kidnaps the NPA director, then Sayu, gets the notebook, kills Ratt and several more members of the SPK, loses the notebook, blows up the mafia base, drags his burnt-to-a-crisp ass to New York, finds Halle. He wants to ask her if Near got a letter a few months back, but he decides against it, because he doesn't want to show his hand. After all, there's a chance it got lost in the mail, or a chance he didn't sign it (though Near would undoubtedly recognize the sender as Mello just by the contents of the letter, and the fact that the letter reached him at all). He's trying to hold onto the possibility that he did not, in fact, send a deranged, multi-page, sexually explicit and obsessive letter to Near. He has to hold onto that hope.

Except when he goes to get the photo he left at the orphanage from Near, there's a weird vibe. A vibe that he can't help but feel is unrelated to him holding Halle at gunpoint and also pointing his gun at Near. The blonde guy that works for Near is giving him an especially judgmental look. Mello gets his photo and gives Near a bit of info and gets the fuck out, but he's haunted for the rest of the day by the knowledge that yes, Near totally got that fucking letter.

So he writes another letter. Makes it EXTREMELY clear that all of the things he said about Near's eyes being captivating and celestial were JOKES, and that he DOESN'T want to fuck Near and is not in love with him. Gives the letter to Halle to give to Near with express instructions not to open it herself. She agrees, takes it to Near.

Near opens the letter from Mello. Right off the bat, he's confused, because this letter mentions a previous letter, and Near never got a previous letter. The box only had the disposable camera in it. That was it. As he continues reading, the bafflement only increases.

By the end of the letter, Near's mind is scrambled, but he has little doubt what he needs to do.

He asks Halle to call Mello and ask him to come back to headquarters. They have some things to talk about.

sorry this is left open ended i simply don't feel like finishing it. please just assume they work things out and fuck nasty. thanks 🥰

#meronia #mellonear #FILE UNDER: POSTS I MADE IN AN ATTEMPT TO STOP MYSELF FROM STARTING A NEW FIC THAT GOT LONGER THAN THEY SHOULDVE #i will eventually write this tho #<- girl who says that a lot #blondiepost

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precuredaily · 6 months

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Precure Bonus Day

Film: Precure All Stars Go Go Dream Live! Date watched: 19 March 2023 Original release date: 8 November 2008 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/QBTEHWY Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

#squadgoals (I am hip)

2008 marked the fifth anniversary of Precure, as in the fifth season since 2004’s Futari wa Precure. I’m not sure of everything Toei did to celebrate, outside of a pair of song compilation albums and possibly some merch. But one thing they DID do was to release a short film before the fall movie. It was the first ever on-screen crossover between the different teams, and serves as a precursor for the crossover movies that ran from 2009 to 2020. So just as this short preceded the Go Go movie, I’m going to precede my Go Go review with this! Let’s dig in.

The Plot

It starts with the title card over a bright blue sky, with a chorus of the 11 cures reading the title aloud.

The camera pans down to show a stadium and then we see Saki, Mai, and all their friends from Splash Star running up to the entrance. Saki drags Mai along by the hand past Akane and Hikari’s Tako Cafe, where we then see Nagisa, Honoka, and Hikari, and their friends from FW/MH in line. (as well as Masuko Mika from Y5)

The woman behind Hikari could be Shoko (Regine’s human form) from FWPC

Inside we see Nozomi running down a hallway past lots of people, leading along Rin, Urara, Komachi, Karen, and Kurumi, telling them to hurry up. None of them notice an ominous shadow following them.

Nozomi’s group emerges into the arena of the stadium, which is oddly empty, and are confused. Nagisa’s group as well as Saki and Mai emerge through adjacent entrances, all looking over at each other and the otherwise vacant stadium in confusion. Notably, none of the non-heroine characters make it inside.

Suddenly a deep voice calls out “PRECURE” and they see a huge giant black figure in the middle of the arena. It casts 4 shadows, with the three behind it revealing the face of a Zakenna, an Uzaina, and a Kowaina. It moves to punch the ground, threateningly, so everyone foregoes their secret identities and transforms into Precure.

There’s a brief moment of surprise as the three teams realize there are other Precures besides themselves, but they don’t have time to dwell on it as the Shadow Giant punches at them.

Bloom and Egret jump in to block the attack with a spirit barrier. Everyone else regains their composure, and the barrier shatters. Black and White leap through the air in an iconic scene from their opening, while the Precure 5 run along the ground. Black and White block a giant punch, then Bloom & Egret use a spirit attack on his chest. The PC5 team rapidly scatters. Lemonade wraps the Shadow Giant in her Prism Chain, followed by Aqua, Mint, and Rouge using their respective attacks.

Bloom and Egret fly high into the air and transform into Bright and Windy. Windy launches a gust of wind that catches Bloom, who adds her light to it as they charge rapidly down on the monster. Dream charges along the ground with her fists glowing, while Black and White rebound off some girders and leap straight at the Giant.

Everyone's attacks converge on the Shadow: the Wind and Light attack, Black and White’s double punch, and Shooting Star. A huge explosion of light is seen from the exterior of the stadium. The smoke clears as everyone regroups, but the monster is unharmed and blows everyone away in a huge gust of wind.

Cure Dream stands up amid the rubble. Black, Bright, and Dream explain in turn that they'll listen if the Shadow has anything to say, but there's lots of people there today who came to see the show and they won't let him ruin the event.

The Shadow spews an energy beam from his mouth at them in response, but Shiny Luminous and Milky Rose have blocked it with a barrier. The teams perform Marble Screw Max, Spiral Star Splash, and Rainbow Rose Explosion together, and the Shadow disintegrates.

The girls find themselves back in their civilian forms, standing on a stage in the middle of the arena. The Max Heart theme starts to play and the crowd cheers. The girls realize THEY are the performance. Nagisa doesn't want to dance, but Nozomi encourages her, and she joins in.

All the girls dance and sing along to a medley of the opening themes. The dance alternates between spotlighting each team, having all 11 girls dance together, and having just Nagisa, Saki, and Nozomi in focus. The sequence is interspersed with still images of everyone eating and having fun together while the credits roll. At the end, they all stand together in the shape of a heart, looking up at the camera, while “The End” is written in the middle.

The Analysis

What I Liked

Because this short is only 5 minutes from start to finish, it’s extremely fast-paced. The characters are introduced rapidly and they’re face to face with the monster in 45 seconds, and kicking butt by the 2 minute mark.

The fight scene does a good job showcasing the difference in fighting styles between the three teams. Max Heart are all about raw strength, punching and kicking, jumping off of things to get more leverage. Splash Star make use of the spirits to fly around and deflect attacks or emphasize them. Precure 5 use their individual attacks. Luminous and Rose don’t do much of anything, which is out of character for Kurumi, but it's going to be a theme in this double feature.

The dance at the end is fun! It’s also the only time All Stars will have a 2D animated dance ending, and the last 2D animated Precure dance ending in general. It is ALSO one of the last times that the dance ending will feature the characters in civilian outfits rather than their cure forms, with the only other instance after this that I recall being in Heartcatch’s first ending.

There is a really cool shot when the GoGo team is dancing that starts far out from the audience’s POV, zooms all the way in on Nozomi’s face, spins around her, and then zooms back out to show them dancing from behind, looking out at the audience. There’s another great shot where the camera pans down the line of cures as they all come together for the big finale shot.

Pretty much every named character from the last 5 seasons makes a cameo appearance in the crowds or the audience. This includes the villains.

You can see Miss Shitataare, Gamao, and Shoko (Regine) from the back here.

No, I am not listing out every single character here.

The individual outfits the girls are wearing are really nice. They’re more intricate, fancier clothes than their usual civilian attire, which suggests the show they expected to go see was somewhat upscale.

What I Didn’t Like

Milky Rose and Shiny Luminous just disappeared during the fight. After the barrier shatters they’re nowhere to be seen until after the big explosion of light when the smoke clears. Then the only thing they do is put up another barrier. Rose is capable of fighting, and Luminous has support abilities that would help the team, so it’s strange they didn’t take a few seconds to showcase either of these two.

Even on a movie (or short film) budget, some of the art quality is lacking.

Miscellaneous

As I pointed out in another post, for some reason the Blu Ray cut of the film is about 11 seconds shorter than the DVD cut, and presumably the theatrical version. The main cut is the shot of the giant’s shadows with the faces of the Precures’ past enemies in them, but lots of scenes throughout the film have a few frames cut off of them. I am unclear on the reason for this.

The establishing overhead shot of the stadium shows it surrounded by countryside, not many buildings around. Not where you usually expect a stadium to be.

For the sake of brevity, the Yes 5 team didn’t get to call out their Cure names in the roll call.

Between their transformation scene and Shadow Giant’s first attack, the cures somehow teleport onto the field of the stadium. Whether it was a continuity error or just convenience for animation, I don’t know.

Bloom and Egret are able to switch into their Bright and Windy forms instantly, without detransforming. In the series, these were completely separate transformations, but it’s understandable that the writers would do it here to keep the momentum of the scene. Also it looks awesome.

No fairies appear in the film other than one still image in the credits. Kurumi is never shown transforming into Milk, but she is present as Milk in the scene with all the fairies, and then also present as Kurumi when the human characters are shown. She lives a busy double life.

The villain is not named in the dialogue, but the credits call him “Kage no Kyojin”, or Shadow Giant, which is what I am also calling him.

Since this film is basically a teaser for the feature length Precure All Stars DX film, several of the action sequences end up being reused in that movie. I will do a side-by-side comparison when I get to that. Also, the design of the Shadow Giant is the same as the final form of that movie’s villain, Fusion. It’s unclear if they are meant to be the same character or not. Shadow Giant is certainly a fusion of the three enemy types, but Fusion in the DX movie is also shown to have Hoshiina powers not seen here, and is voiced by a different actor.

Unfortunately the voice actor for the Shadow Giant, Yanada Kiyoyuki, passed away in November of 2022 at age 57.

Conclusion

It’s a short, sweet, action packed special. It knows what it’s about and it doesn’t waste a second getting to the point. You want all the Precues teaming up and fighting a giant enemy? You got all the Precures teaming up and fighting a giant enemy! In its short runtime, it of course manages to pack in everything you want from Precure: pretty outfits, dynamic fights, and speeches about the value of friendship and community. It even ends with a dance! It’s a great showcase of how the series has evolved in its (at the time) short life, and what being a Precure means to its different teams. You can clearly see how each group’s approach to combat is different, and they all bounce off of each other excellently. And even though it’s short, it manages to throw in a ton of cameos for long time fans. As a teaser for the upcoming All Stars movie, it does a great job at whetting the audience’s appetite. And as a lead-in to the main event, the Go Go movie, it also gets the audience suitably pumped for a roaring good time.

Next time, on Precure Daily, we finally get to the movie itself. Look forward to it!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count:

1 Arienai 0 Zekkouchou Nari 0 Kettei

#Precure #Pretty Cure #Precure All Stars #PCASGGDL #PCD Bonus

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