#full disclosure: some of these photos are by sister in law

[anonsally]

Photos from Day 11 of Australia vacation: Wilderness and Waterfalls

Top row: Echidna. Snooooot!

Rows 2-3: Mount Victoria Forest Reserve, including Ralph Falls

Row 4: St. Columba Falls trail

Rows 5-6: Weldborough Pass Rainforest Walk

Row 7: Mt Paris Dam

#personal #travel #photography #wildlife #full disclosure: some of these photos are by sister in law

[electrictoes]

All We Are

For @dailysvu’s Sonny Carisi Week

Day 4:  “What is this between us?  Relationship: Amanda Rollins  / Sonny Carisi​

Read on AO3

They don’t define this thing between them - it just is.

After a week, Sonny thinks maybe they should - but he’s so happy, and he doesn’t want to break this calm comfort they’ve found in each other by putting labels on things that have never needed to be labelled before.

Everyone around them is so curious though; other people want it defined. And it shouldn’t matter - shouldn’t be anyone’s business but their own. But it isn’t that simple. Their friends and family make no secret of the fact that they've been waiting for this almost as long as he has.

He skipped out on most of Memorial Day weekend with his family for the first time in his life - only putting in an appearance in his parents’ backyard late on Monday afternoon, a white lie on his lips; that he’s been stuck at work - a lie his mother sees through in an instant.

He can’t stop checking his phone; types and deletes a message to Amanda - an I miss you that he can’t bring himself to send, because it’s so ridiculous. He sends her a photo of the backyard filled with family instead, and smiles down at his phone when she sends him a photo back - the girls at the park, ice cream cones in their hands, sprinkles and chocolate sauce already trailing down Billie’s arm.

He tries to duck out of sight to call her a little later, but his mother catches him as he creeps up the stairs to his childhood bedroom; she stands at the foot of the stairs, hands on her hips, a scolding frown on her face - he hears the Dominick before she says it, and slinks back down to the hallway without a word, thinking about how he’s a prosecutor and he faces tougher opponents than his mother on a daily basis, but no one can reduce him to his thirteen year old self like she can.

His mom doesn’t let him slip back out to the party, her grip on his arm is firm as she tugs him into the kitchen, “Alright, out with it,” she says and he feigns confusion.

“I don’t-”

“It’s either a girl, or it’s something bad,” she says, arms crossed over her chest, a shadow of worry on her face. “And your sister told me you broke up with-”

Sonny sighs, resisting the urge to fold his own arms. He hadn’t actually told Bella that at all, just relayed one of the many arguments he and Nicole had had before they’d called it quits, but he wasn’t surprised that she’d drawn her own conclusions. “Bella needs to stop gossipin’ about me.”

“Tell me.”

“There’s nothin’ to-”  His mother fixes him with a look that would have had him running to his bedroom as a kid; he resists the urge to bolt now. “It’s new,” he says, and because his mom doesn’t so much as blink, he adds. “Rollins.”

There’s a part of him that’s almost giddy at the way she reacts - the way her posture softens and she smiles up at him. He enjoys it for half a second before the questions start coming in thick and fast - he deflects, but she ploughs on.

“So the two of you are-”

“Figuring that out,” he says. He listens to her as she talks about not wasting time, tells him he’s not getting any younger, reminds him his grandmother’s engagement ring is still sitting in her jewellery box upstairs just waiting for him to need it.

“Way too far ahead of yourself, Ma,” he says - too far ahead but still visible there on the horizon.

The closest they come to having the what is this? conversation in those early days is the is this a secret? conversation.

“I don’t want it to be,” Sonny admits, “But if you wanna wait until-”

“Until what?” Amanda asks him, “I’m sure,” she says. “If you are.”

They’re on the couch, the girls fast asleep down the hall and her feet resting in his lap; it’s casual and domestic and not really all that different from the way things have always been, but he lets himself take it in, appreciate the way his world is changing. He rests his hands on her shins as he smiles over at her, “I’m sure,” he says. And that’s it.

Everything left unsaid passes between them in looks, kisses, and touches. They don’t need more.

They don’t advertise it; there’s a time when they’ll have to - disclosure paperwork and conversations about professionalism and objectivity as though they haven’t been managing just fine up until now. But Sonny’s diligent - he’s checked the paperwork - he might have checked the paperwork over a year ago, when she’d left him at his desk with a sad smile and he’d spent the next forty-eight hours kicking himself, only for a global pandemic to stop him calling in that rain check  - and he knows they have time.

They do arrive at the precinct together one Tuesday morning a couple of weeks in; he has a meeting scheduled with Liv first thing and he hasn’t been back to his own apartment in three days. They’re not so blatant as to hold hands, but they do work with some of the best detectives in the city, so it isn’t a surprise that they’re caught out within minutes.

Fin gives them look, but he doesn’t say anything. Sonny’s sure he’ll get a comment in at some point, but while everyone knows Fin enjoys a gossip way more than he lets on, he’s good at keeping his questions to himself until the moment that best suits him.

Kat doesn’t follow suit. She’s nothing but questions and Sonny tries to escape under the guise of waiting for the captain in her office, but Amanda grips his jacket sleeve, silently telling him not leave her.

“How long?” Kat asks, “And what exactly-”

“Our business,” Amanda says; she’s smiling at Kat, no malice in her tone, but no room for argument either.

Jesse get a pass. Because she’s Jesse. And because this affects her just as much as it does Sonny and Amanda. For the first two weeks of waking up to Uncle Sonny sleeping in Mommy’s bed she doesn’t ask any questions - it surprises him, because that first morning waking up beside Amanda his second thought had been that they would have to figure out how to explain his presence there to Jesse and Billie. When Jesse had raced into Amanda's bedroom, though, she had just greeted him like she was used to him being there, and he’d wondered if they’d ever actually need to sit them down and explain.

Eventually she does ask, one night after he’s tucked Billie into bed with a kiss so it’s just the three of them awake. He leans in the bathroom doorway while Amanda gives Jesse her bath. She’s been unusually quiet, and there’s a thoughtful look on her face, “Mommy,” she says after a while, blinking water out of her eyes as Amanda washes her hair, “Is Uncle Sonny your husband now?”

Amanda coughs as though she’s the one with a face full of water, turning to look at Sonny with a startled expression. He gives her a soft smile, but he doesn’t have the answers either.

“Not yet, baby,” she says, and Sonny can’t help the grin that comes over his face, however wide Amanda’s eyes go at her own words.

“You’ve gotta have a weddin’ first,” Sonny adds, and Jesse beams over at him; he sees a dozen questions forming, but Amanda pours more water over her head, rinsing out the shampoo and buying them more time in the same moment.

Once she’s out of the bath, dressed in her pyjamas and ready for bed, Jesse throws her arms around his legs, hugging him tightly, “I’m glad you’re gonna have a wedding with Mommy,” she says, and tips her head back for a goodnight kiss before skipping to her bedroom as though she hadn’t essentially just told him to get on with proposing to her mother.

Amanda’s mother shows up unannounced at her apartment one Sunday morning, and it’s Sonny who answers the door - not expecting Beth Anne Rollins to be standing in the hallway, an impatient look on her face. “Oh,” is all she says when she clocks sight of him, her gaze travelling down the worn t-shirt and pyjama pants he’s wearing, his bare feet on the wooden floor. She pushes past him into the apartment, not greeting him or stopping for breath, “What are you doing here? Amanda finally admit she’s got a thing for you?”

He closes the door behind her and follows, not answering her questions. Billie scrambles down from the dining table to run and hug her grandmother, abandoning the cereal he’s spent the last ten minutes trying to coax her into eating, while she’d stubbornly refused and told him she wanted garlic bread for breakfast.

“Where is Amanda anyway?” Beth Anne asks, turning to look at him again. He feels self-conscious with her gaze on him, the soft clothes, untamed hair, shoeless Sonny Carisi was reserved for Amanda - and by extension the girls - certainly not for his possible future mother-in-law.

“Takin’ Frannie for a walk,” he says, “Jesse’s gone too,” he adds unnecessarily.

Beth Anne nods, still eyeing him with suspicion as she reaches into her handbag and pulls out a lollipop for Billie, who grabs at it gleefully.

“No-” he starts, but Beth Anne is already unwrapping the treat, and he sighs as Billie puts it in her mouth. “She hasn’t finished her breakfast,” he sighs.

“And who says you get to tell me what my granddaughter can eat?” Beth Anne says, smiling indulgently at Billie.

Sonny shakes his head, “I’m gonna… if you’re here I’m gonna get dressed,” he slips away to the bedroom, taking jeans and a shirt from the drawer he now has in Amanda’s dresser. While he changes he hears the sounds of Amanda’s return - Frannie barking, Jesse yelling a greeting to her grandmother. He hears murmuring as Amanda questions Beth Anne’s impromptu visit, and when he returns Amanda and her mother are at opposite ends of the kitchen, Amanda leaning back against the counter with an unimpressed look on her face.

“And then he tries to tell me not to give Billie candy-”

Amanda shakes her head, “He's right. It’s barely 9am, Momma.”

“Well, is he your boyfriend now or not?”

“Momma,” Amanda starts, but cuts herself off when she spots him hovering just beyond the kitchen, she gives him a warm smile, “We’re together, that’s all that matters,” she says, meeting his eye - all she feels and all that goes unsaid held in her gaze for him to see.

They fill in the disclosure paperwork that evening; they don’t have to just yet; they’ve still got time, Sonny’s been keeping the deadline in his head, but Amanda leaves him on the couch and goes out into the entryway where her work bag is; she returns a moment later, a manila folder in her hands that she passes over to him as she sits down. The form inside is mostly filled out - all their basic information already there in Amanda’s handwriting, the only empty boxes are Date of Disclosure, and Nature of Relationship.

“Time to make it official?” he asks, and she pokes his arm gently.

“It’s already official, Carisi,” she says, “Unless you’re thinking otherwise.”

“No,” he says, shaking his head at her, “You got a pen?”

“We’ve got to decide what to write in that box,” she tells him tapping the Nature of Relationship box with the pen she’s just grabbed. “Whatever we’re calling this,” she gestures between the two of them.

“According to Jesse, I’m your future husband,” he says, only half-joking.

Amanda just laughs at him, “I think you’d need to write fiancé,” she says, “But you’re not getting off that lightly - you need to propose to me yourself,” she tells him; she glances away as she adds, “Not yet, though.”

Someday, he thinks, leaning over, a hand reaching for her face, turning her back towards him so that he can kiss her; she lets him, kissing him right back for a minute or so before she puts one palm to his chest, pushing him back from her, “Carisi, let’s finish this first.”

He sighs as he pulls away, but it’s worth it not to have missed the impatient smirk on her face.

“I got it,” he tells her, resting the sheet of paper on his knee as he adds one word to the empty box. Partners.

#carisi week #sonny carisi #rollisi #rollisi fic #svu #svu fic #my fic #amanda rollins

[coreastories]

A Royal Twin! Meet the Most Honorable Lady Seo-gyeong

As if there isn’t enough mystery and revelations about the Queen of Corea, we’re suddenly seeing double! 

In a stunning media packet, the Royal Public Affairs Office released never-before-seen photos and reveals the reason behind the king and queen’s trip to New Zealand

What difference is even there?!  Right, the queen in her law enforcement days. Left, the Lady Seo-gyeong, Interpol agent of Corea in New Zealand

Koo Seo-gyeong was adopted at age 8 by the Koo family

She’s 8 years the junior of the current prime minister of Corea

As revealed by a DNA test, she’s the biological twin of the Jeong Tae-eul, now the Queen of Corea

Their separation at birth is anyone’s guess. The statements from the Royal Court and the Office of the Prime Minister only focus on “God’s blessing, HM The Queen’s present joy.”

No wonder the Queen and the Prime Minister are now BFFs. This author would have loved to be a fly on the wall when the Prime Minister told the queen that she (the queen) is practically the doppelganger of her sister!  

Who is Lady Seo-gyeong? 

Lady Seo-gyeong, 30, is a policewoman, like the queen. She has been working with the Corean and Kiwi Interpol since 2016, with annual visits to her home country. Her connections to the prime minister, elected in 2015, no doubt helped her application to the elite agents of Interpol. 

Not that she doesn’t have talent and skill in her own right-- the Haeundae Station was sad to see her go. 

In the photo: The Lady Seo-gyeong with the Violent Crimes Squad of Haeundae Station

True to Corean tradition of humility (and privacy), this author was told we can’t dig up her accomplishments and publish them. We see the sense in that-- we don’t want the Interpol’s targets to know what’s coming! 

She and the queen never met before? 

Apparently not. The queen reportedly worked in Jongno, three to five hours away from Haeundae. 

Nothing more was revealed about this. 

This author suspects undercover work and/or top secret status, which would explain why the police higher ups never uttered a peep that they had TWO policewomen of the same face. 

Her title

Her title was personally conferred by the king-- no ceremonies in this case, apparently-- and now announced by the Royal Court. 

It’s a courtesy title, similar to the lordships and ladyships we use for children of the nobility, used to address her or in reference to her in all documents within and in connection with the Kingdom of Corea. 

In New Zealand and elsewhere, she is Koo Seo-gyeong (Westernized: Seo-gyeong Koo). 

Upon marriage, she retains the title: Lady Seo-gyeong -Husband’s Surname-

Is she married? 

The police are just as tight-lipped about the Lady Seo-gyeong as with the queen, but in this case we did find some juicy tidbits: the Lady Seo-gyeong is in a relationship with Kang Hyeon-min, who was with her in Haeundae and also with her now in New Zealand. 

Twins are auspicious 

From interviews with Coreans, this author has gathered that the citizens are shocked but happy. 

This country pioneers technology in science and health, but they have deep ties with tradition and folklore, and according to that tradition, twins are lucky, so that’s another point toward their beloved queen and her new sister. 

As if that wasn’t enough, 8-8 is also an auspicious number (next only to 9-9, which is dedicated to their Day of Queens). 

This is only this author’s opinion, but this approval from the kingdom and the royal connection might prove advantageous for PM Koo if she pursues another term. 

The people love their king and queen, and in Corea, the voice of the people is valued to an extent that an official can keep running for term and keep getting reelected if the people wish it and the king sanctions it. 

And while we would want a fresh leadership for Corea, it just happens that Koo Seo-ryeong is an effective leader recognized worldwide.  

(Think of the good mayors and presidents we could have kept in power!)

(And this author is tickled at the queen and the prime minister at the helm together for more years to come!)

Is Lady Seo-gyeong staying in New Zealand or coming home? 

Unfortunately, it seems like we won’t be treated to the sight of a queen and her double walking around Corea. 

The Lady Seo-gyeong will stay in New Zealand. According the Royal Public Affairs Office, she has permanent residency and has an established career with the Wellington Interpol. 

In this author’s opinion, I would choose New Zealand, too. Isn’t it a bit much if you come home where one sister is prime minister and the other is queen?! 

But from her statement, the Lady Seo-gyeong is simply dedicated to her work. 

Statement from the Lady Seo-gyeong

“Honestly, I’m still digesting it all. But the queen and my sister-- both my sisters-- are helping me take it in. I hope we can spend more time together soon. I wish we didn’t all have demanding work.

“I was really stunned but also really touched that the king and queen came to me rather than summoning me. I’m really happy to have met Their Majesties, and I think the queen is a lovely person.

“She would be, if we shared genes! I wish Their Majesties the best.”

She sounds lovely. This author is charmed. And I bet all the men are bemoaning the fact that both twins are taken! 

In full disclosure, this author has been warned about not disturbing the peace of the Lady Seo-gyeong’s workplace and residence. 

As a member of the royal family, Lady Seo-gyeong has the protection of the Royal Guard, although she won’t be aware of it herself. 

Let this serve as this author passing the warning to her fellow members of the media. 

Statement from the palace

The Royal Court is pleased to announce the conferment of most honorable title to Lady Seo-gyeong, Koo Seo-gyeong, with all the grace and protection of the Majesty of the Reigning House and the Royal Court of Corea. 

The Lady Seo-gyeong is God’s blessing, Her Majesty The Queen’s present joy. 

The Royal Court wishes the honorable lady a million blessings and a thousand good fortunes.  

This is translated from the Corean formal language. The packet already came to us in English, so this author doesn’t know how “Lady” translates in their beautiful tongue. 

According to Coreans, this is usually not done. Historically, the parents of queens get a courtesy title, but not their siblings. This is probably the king protecting the queen and her sister. 

With “all the grace and protection of the Majesty of the Reigning House” turns out to be a subtle warning that this lady is untouchable.  

Does the king still have enemies? 

The mystery of the coup is still just that, a closely guarded mystery. Lee Lim’s followers have been decimated, but the king is not leaving them any avenues to use his loved ones against him. 

Statement from the Office of the Prime Minister of Corea

To Her Majesty the Queen, the Reigning House and the Royal Court, Her Excellency the Prime Minister is happy to assure her unwavering support where it applies to the ties of the blood between Her Majesty the Queen and the Lady Seo-gyeong, and the conferment of honorable title and royal grace to the Lady Seo-gyeong.  

A DNA test confirmed the gene match between Her Majesty The Queen and the Lady Seo-gyeong.  

To Her Majesty the Queen and the Lady Seo-gyeong, Her Excellency humbly offers a thousand felicitations on their newfound sisterhood. 

The Lady Seo-gyeong at her most casual. She and the queen apparently have that in common, among others. 

All this family drama aside, this author was struck by “present joy.” 

So is there future joy? 

My instincts are right: according to Coreans, one can’t claim the joy of a baby until the baby is actually wailing in your arms with a healthy pair of lungs! 

So much to look forward to. Queens Day-- and perhaps another joyful announcement?

__________________________________________________________

I had to crop Jangmi from the police group pic because he belongs to Tae-eul lolol

“God’s blessing” means so much more, as you guys probably suspect. 

The plot thickens! But not really. I’m keeping it all simple. 

This Corea News piece is a direct companion to a fan fic that will tie up all this: Tae-eul staying in Corea, the police being on her side, and PM Koo being a noona instead of a rival. Coming soon! 

I hope you guys are still there with the crazy! :) 

#CoreaNews #CoreaFiction #KooSistersYassss

#CoreaNews #CoreaFiction #the king: eternal monarch #the king eternal monarch #TKEM #TKEM fan fic #kim go eun #jeong tae eul #koo sisters #koo seo ryeong #koo seo gyeong

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

Hey, I saw you were doing headcanon stuff! So, I have this like burgeoning headcanon that Josh x Donna's first daughter is wlw. I don't know if you build off of other people's headcanons, but this one has been with me for a long time, and you are such a talented writer and storyteller in general that I thought maybe you'd be interested in taking a crack out of this very specific headcanon?!? I've just been projecting a lot of brainpower towards it and I want to talk to someone else about it!

Okay, so first, all my future headcanons for TWW spring from this original post that’s gotten around a bit. I’ve written a tiny bit of kidfic using them as well so I decided to connect yours to mine because tbh I love this idea and heck yeah, at least one of their daughters should be queer :D that’s just way more fun than if they’re both straight.

So, given what I’d already sorted out for the future, here are my thoughts. There are oh so many ideas behind the cut because apparently I can’t sleep but I can create a bunch of people out of thin air.

Their eldest daughter, Brianna Joan, started insisting everyone call her ‘Jo’ when she was five. They were both surprised by her stubbornness on the matter, but Josh was secretly pleased since her middle name was a tribute to his sister. Donna assumed it was a phase she would grow out of, like a lot of kids when they’re young and establishing their independence. She didn’t–and Jo later believed it was the first hint that she was never meant to be the girly daughter they might have expected.

Charlotte inherited her mother’s grace under pressure, along with her dancer’s form and creative flexibility. While Jo had Donna’s sass and sense of humor, she shared her dad’s brown hair and eyes, constant need to be in motion, and impulsive streak. Josh liked to say Jo got his athletic prowess, too, but Donna always countered with ‘your what now?’ and made the girls laugh. Jo surpassed him in sports talent by junior high, thanks in no small part to coaching by Charlie’s not-so-little-anymore sister Deena.

Junior high and high school were rough, especially girl’s softball and basketball. The rumors and slurs about which girls were probably gay because they were a little too good on the court or the mound bothered her, especially when she got sick of her unruly hair and cut it off at fourteen and the kids started aiming them at her…but it was hard to do the right thing and stand up to them when she was starting to wonder if maybe they were right.

The first crush she developed on an older, female student that she actually admitted to herself was a crush happened a year later, when she was trying to survive her entrance into high school. She came out to her best friend at sixteen and felt bad that she didn’t tell her parents first, but her dad was still working with the White House occasionally during his “retirement,” and her mom was starting her campaign for Congress, and the last thing Jo wanted to do was make that harder.

It wasn’t like she thought they’d be upset, or disappointed in her, exactly. But a tiny part of her did have doubts, after a couple of her friends had come out to their liberal parents and hit a cruel wall of family double-standards. Surely Josh Lyman and Donna Moss, champions of progressive causes, wouldn’t be that way…she hoped.

Just to be safe, Jo told them the week after her mom won her Congressional campaign, when it would cause the least trouble if they did freak out. Donna wasn’t surprised, not even a little, and only shared her worries at night with Josh. She knew how hard it was to be a woman in the world, and it could only be more painful for their eldest facing additional discrimination on top of that. “We just have to love her even harder,” Donna whispered, “and hope it’ll be enough.”

Unlike his wife, Josh was–as always–oblivious. Jo coming out was big surprise, but one he was happy about. She trusted them enough to tell them, and include them in her confusing teenage life. Surely that meant they were on the right track. “And hey,” he offered up in the initial shock of her disclosure, “I can’t exactly blame her. Women…are great. I’m a big fan. Of them.”

Just like he did with all the girl’s activities over the years, from dance to soccer, Josh threw himself into being a parental ally until he annoyed Jo with his enthusiasm. PFLAG, marches, fundraisers, sponsoring local clubs…"which one of us is gay again?” she would mutter to her sister with an eyeroll sometimes, out of earshot of the DC dad with the rainbow t-shirt passing out mini flags.

She was grateful though, especially after she survived college, and law school, and volunteered at a nonprofit that exposed her to so many kids whose parents didn’t care if they lived or died, simply because of who they turned out to be. Josh started getting handmade cards for his birthday and Father’s Day every year, filled with Jo’s illegible handwriting–that, he knew, she definitely didn’t get from him–telling him how much she loved and appreciated him. He put them on the fridge next to the sketches her little sister sent, like they were both still in grade school. Donna teased him about that, but whenever their friends visited she was the first one to casually point them out.

In the family, Charlotte was the only one that ever gave Jo any grief about her sexuality. It was mostly sibling sniping, because Charlotte was quieter than her sister but even more competitive, and she was never quite able to catch up with the three year gap between them. Still, it made Jo uncomfortable in her late teens because she and her baby sister were always so close growing up, and she couldn’t tell if the snark was coming from someplace deeper. When Charlie was fifteen, she got a week’s suspension for breaking a boy’s nose after he called her valedictorian sister a slur she refused to repeat to anyone. Jo worried less after that, and the sarcastic comments never happened again.

Toby’s son Huck came out as bisexual in college, and Jo joined his twin sister in being his closest support system while he braced for his parents’ reactions. There was a lot of hugging, and some knowing looks between Toby and Josh when the kids weren’t paying attention, and Huck had to pay Jo twenty bucks because she promised it would go over fine and he was certain it would be a disaster. He never learned to love the Yankees but he shared his father’s temperament from an early age. He and Charlie dated briefly in their twenties, causing a minor scandal to ripple through the connected families.

CJ’s daughter Nora, who was like a distant cousin Jo never got to visit enough in sunny California, only allowed the family to use her full name. She got a lot of weird looks when strangers overheard, or friends found out how old-fashioned it was, but Jo liked to call her by it anyway when they chatted. She never got to meet her dad’s mentor, and she thought based on the stories she’d heard that he would be embarrassed but proud to learn that Claudia Jean named her firstborn Leonora after she left the White House.

Nora was the one who introduced Jo to her future wife, an architect based out of Sacramento with an independent streak and temper that secretly reminded Josh of one of his exes. Unlike him and Amy, Jo and her fiance were a happy fit, sharing similar political beliefs but no professional rivalry. They spent as much time at home swapping stories and advice about their demanding careers as they did on community activism. Jo mellowed out a little after they got married–”she’s so much like you,” Donna told Josh with a smile–and they moved five times in three years before buying a house and starting their attempts to have a family.

That was the first time Jo ever really surprised her mom, who cried when she found out they were expecting. “I thought…you never talked about wanting kids,” Donna said carefully, and Jo just grinned that bright grin that was so much like her father’s. “I needed some time,” she told her mom, “to figure out what I wanted. But I think that if I manage to be half as good at it as you were, I’ll be an amazing mom.”

Josh and Donna bantered anxiously in the waiting room while each of their eldest daughter’s three kids came into the world. Two she gave birth to, and one she didn’t. They spoiled them all the same.

And when Charlotte brought the Lyman-Moss legacy back to the White House, Jo’s youngest son got to hunt Easter Eggs on the lawn. He stood next to his aunt during the photo op, just one of a dozen kids surrounding the first female President of the United States.

#seriously #just so. many. thoughts #this got totally out of hand #josh x donna #headcanons #it's super fun to play with future fic i must say #tww #replies #theonewithwaytoomanyfandoms

[haveclotheswilltravel]

It can sometimes be a little difficult to keep your teenagers entertained on family vacations. Fortunately, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina has something fun for the whole family…including teenagers! This post lists activities specifically for teenagers, but with the exception of 2 or 3 of these things, they were fun for the entire family (even my little nephew who was 1 year & a few months old at the time). Enjoy! And let me know what you would add to this list in the comments.

9 Fun Things To Do in Myrtle Beach With Your Teenagers

*1.) Try Parasailing

My sister-in-law & me trying out parasailing for the first time!

Parasailing was the unanimous favorite for both teenagers (Ryan & Brooke)! I even enjoyed parasailing, and I’m afraid of heights.

Click here for more info on parasailing in Myrtle Beach.

*2.) Go Mini Golfing

A close second for everyone (not just our teenagers) was mini golf. The adults & my nephew enjoyed mini golfing at Jungle Lagoon. However, there are A LOT of cool mini golf courses to choose from in Myrtle Beach. (That just happened to be the course closest to where we were staying.)

*3.) Visit Alligator Adventure

Alligator Adventure in North Myrtle Beach

Alligator Adventure is 15 acres with over 200 different types of animals to see. They also have live shows and feedings. This was another one that was a hit for everyone, and BOTH teenagers enjoyed it.

Click here for more information on Alligator Adventure.

*4.) Hang Out on the Beach

Everyone likes the beach…even teenagers! 😉 From swimming to searching for seashells to just plain relaxing, the beach was a hit for everyone. (There are quite a few different points where you can access the beach if your hotel is not on it. Click here for more info.)

*5.) Go Shopping

Myrtle Beach has no shortage of shopping areas! Everyone really enjoyed Barefoot Landing. It was clean and safe, and no biggie if you want to let your teenagers roam alone. Broadway at the Beach and the Boardwalk also have quite the selection of shops.

*6.) Ride SkyWheel

SkyWheel is a 187-foot tall Ferris wheel in Myrtle Beach! It offers some awesome views of Myrtle Beach, and the carts are a very smooth and comfortable ride. We were able to comfortably fit all 8 of us in one cart too. And as you can see from the photos above, everyone (adults, teenagers & babies) loved this one. We went and wandered the Boardwalk and had a nice oceanside dinner after we were done with our ride. It was a nice way to spend the night with the whole family!

Click here for more info on SkyWheel.

*7.) Spend a Few Hours Exploring Ripley’s Aquarium of Myrtle Beach

OK, so the aquarium was only a hit for one of our teens. Brooke absolutely loved the aquarium, and thought that it was way cool she got to touch a jellyfish and horseshoe crab. She said it was one of the best parts of the trip for her. However, Ryan had zero interest in the aquarium. So, we were split 50/50 on this one.

Click here for more info on the aquarium.

*8.) Ride Some Amusement Park Rides

Family Kingdom has a lot of fun rides and also a water park. We spent a little time here, but the favorite turned out to be The Sling Shot ride which propels two riders more than 300 feet into the air at speeds of up to 100 miles per hour. Ryan and I enjoyed this one the most (and I’m an adult with a fear of heights). Brooke, however, had zero interest in this. So, we were split 50/50 again on this one.

*9.) See “Pirate Voyage” With Dinner

Full discolure: our teens were not particurarily intersted in this show. However, our cousins and their teenage daughter loved this pirate show and were even asked to particpate in it! So, it might now be for everyone, but it’s still a fun option.

Click here for more info on Pirate Voyage.

  Which one of these activities sounds the best to you? And are there any activites you would add to this list? Let me know in the comments!

  If you liked it – Pin it!

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*Disclosure: some of these links are affiliate links. Meaning, if you click a link and make a purchase, Have Clothes, Will Travel gets a very small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting the brands that make this blog possible! I am also a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

9 Fun Things To Do in Myrtle Beach With Your Teenagers It can sometimes be a little difficult to keep your teenagers entertained on family vacations. Fortunately, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina has something fun for the whole family...including teenagers!

#family vacation #Myrtle Beach #teenagers Myrtle Beach #things to do in Myrtle Beach #Travel Tips

[sciencespies]

Love And Sex With Many: Research On The Health And Wellness Of Consensual Non-Monogamy

https://sciencespies.com/news/love-and-sex-with-many-research-on-the-health-and-wellness-of-consensual-non-monogamy/

Love And Sex With Many: Research On The Health And Wellness Of Consensual Non-Monogamy

If Charles Darwin was right, human love and sex are rooted in the same reproductive imperative that makes animals mate. We want to send our genetic material into subsequent generations. Mind you, cats, dogs, Tasmanian devils, insects, fish, birds, and even Big Foot may not be thinking “Babies!” when they have sex. Gay men and lesbians aren’t trying to reproduce. Heterosexual people buying birth control supplies at drug stores aren’t. Regardless, the healthy, animalistic instinct to create progeny may be what makes most of them — most of us — suckers for sex and fools for love. It’s health and wellness in action.

And it’s all fun. But does biology dictate that mating has to be a forever kinda thing? Darwin never expressed an opinion. As it turns out, most animals who seem to be monogamous aren’t. Even so, some big religions dictate monogamy for humans. Many marriage and divorce laws do, too. 

For large mammals, anyway, monogamy doesn’t add to the probability that a species will survive. The opposite may be the case. In 2003, biologist Justin Brashares of the University of British Columbia examined 30 years of data for 41 mammal species on six separate preserves. Publishing in the peer-reviewed journal Conservation Biology, he reported that loyal mating ranked second as the cause of death for populations of primates. (Of course, humans are primates.)

New human sexology research from two groups of researchers has produced results not quite as dire. Even so, their data suggest that long-term monogamy may not always be ideal.

Wellness and Consensual Non-Monogamy

“The Vices and Virtues of Consensual Non-Monogamy: A Relational Dimension Investigation” is the dissertation of graduate student Thomas R. Brooks III. Published by the peer-reviewed journal Psychology and Sexuality and written by Brooks* in partial fulfillment of his Ph.D. from the Department of Psychology and Special Education at Texas A&M University-Commerce, it compared various measures of relationship quality, conflict resolution style, and individual well-being as self-reported by 555 heterosexual participants. Some of the participants were in monogamous relationships and some were in consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships. (CNM means an open relationship with full disclosure. The non-monogamous encounters can range from casual and low-stakes to intimacy that is both emotionally and sexually long-term and loving.)

Thomas R. Brooks III. Photo used with permission.

Photo credit: Texas A&M University

The study participants completed standard questionnaires about well-being and conflict resolution. They also numerically rated the satisfaction, commitment, intimacy, passion, and love that they experience in their romantic relationships. They generally scored as psychologically healthier and more content. In the rated measures of satisfaction in sex and love, people in CNM relationships generally outscored people in monogamous relationships. Perhaps not incidentally, people practicing CNM reported using positive problem-solving with their intimate partners, while those practicing monogamy more often reported that they emotionally withdraw from conflict with their relationship partner.

Was it the multiplicity of partners that made people in CNM relationships the high scorers on measures of well-being and happiness? Perhaps not. Brooks surmised that the increased satisfaction and psychological health measures may have been due to consensually non-monogamous people having negotiated “ways to keep sexual and romantic variety a priority in the relationship.” This is to say that it may not be sexual or romantic variety that’s the spice of life. It may be the value that people place on keeping honesty and intimacy alive. 

CNM and Polyamory in History

One month before Brooks’ paper was published, the peer-reviewed journal Archives of Sexual Behavior published a paper by archivist-historian Brian M. Watson and Oxford University historian Sarah Stein Lubrano. In their study the two researchers investigated the passionate CNM attachments of a large handful of historical figures. “‘Storming Then Performing’: Historical Non-Monogamy and Metamour Collaboration” peeked at the love lives of nineteenth- and twentieth-century artists and intellectuals. (“Metamours” = “partner(s) of partner(s).”)

Brian M. Watson.

Photo credit: Brian M. Watson. Used with permission.

In the paper, details of the intimate heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual lives of novelist Virginia Woolf, painter Frida Kahlo, poet/essayist/dramatist Victor Hugo, physicist Erwin Schrödinger, poet/playwright/suffragist Edna St. Vincent Millay, sociologist/historian Maximilian Karl Emil Weber, and Wonder Woman comic book author William Moulton Marston and all of their metamours were revealed. The paper’s view of love lives gone by showed that positive problem-solving of the sort described in Brooks’ Psychology and Sexuality paper can extend beyond the relationship among sexually and romantically intimate partners into throughout their entire metamour network.

Sarah Stein Lubrano

Photo credit Melissa Barber. Used with permission

Watson and Lubrano use the term “polycule” (“polyamorous” + “molecule”) to describe a network of partners and metamours. Frida Kahlo is the only black- or brown-skinned person whose polycules their paper examined. Volunteering that information, Lubrano quipped in a group Zoom call, “In the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, rich white people did a really good job of saving their correspondence and leaving it to be found.” 

With access to such correspondence and with the help of other archival material and secondary sources like biographies, Watson and Lubrano reframed non-monogamous behaviors that might once have been described as immoral and sketched portraits of polycules that were deeply caring in important material, social, and psychological ways. 

That being said, matters weren’t always tranquil in historical CNM polycules, certainly not during a polycule’s early days. 

Virginia Woolfe was lucky enough to enjoy a long, largely peaceful polycule with her husband, journalist and publisher Leonard Woolfe, and author/garden designer Vita Sackville-West. However, that may be because Sackville-West’s explosive and dishonest behavior within a previous polycule had been a momentous learning experience for her. 

Max Weber’s CNM relationship with his lover Else Jaffe erupted early on when he learned that his metamour was his own brother. After he got over that surprise, things settled down. Another of Weber’s partners was his wife, the feminist scholar and activist Marrianne Weber. She and Else together took care of Weber as he succumbed to pneumonia in 1914, leaving Marianne with her dead sister Lili’s four children, which she and Weber had intended to raise. Else stepped in and raised the children with Marianne. According to Watson and Lubrano, when Marianne died in Heidelburg in 1954, it was in Else’s arms.

When Erwin Schrödinger’s partner Hilde March had a little girl by him and developed post-partum depression, Schrödinger wife, Anny, took care of the baby until Hilde recovered. Later, Anny cared for Schrödinger’s baby by another partner. Schrödinger, meanwhile, relied on a metamour — Anny’s partner Peter Weyl — both emotionally and academically. 

And so on. Watson and Lubrano’s paper featured several more polycules of the rich and famous.

Why Study CNM Satisfaction?

The polycules profiled by Watson and Lubrano give social context and history to a way of living that is still stigmatized in America. As the two researchers said in the Zoom call, they wrote the paper to normalize CNM, and also to make clear that the idea that healthy, non-competitive relationships among metamours constitute a potentially emancipatory way of loving and living. Watson said, “We want people contemplating or already in CNM relationships to know that they’re not the first ones to want this. They are not alone in history. There are good role models. We hope that looking at the past can make people confident about structuring their lives in a way that’s fulfilling.” 

Indeed. The wide variance in the current estimates on how many adult Americans have participated in CNM in their lifetime (anywhere between 4% (2013) and 22% (2016)) suggests that CNM remains so stigmatized that some people are too ashamed to admit the truth of their romantic and sexual selves even to an anonymous survey. Data collected and reported in 2016 by researchers at the Kinsey Institute reflect the high estimate (22% lifetime incidence). The Kinsey researchers also noted that men as well as people who identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual were more likely to testify to previous engagement in CNM. 

If indeed the Kinsey researchers’ estimate is correct, CNM may not be the “new normal.” It may, however, be one of the several new normals, and it may be one that marital law and communities should prepare to accommodate.

*Brooks’ co-authors for “The Vices and Virtues of Consensual Non-Monogamy: A Relational Dimension Investigation” were Jennifer Shaw, Stephen Reysen, and Tracy B. Henley, all of the Department of Psychology and Special Education at Texas A&M University-Commerce.

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[babyconnectingworld]

5 things to consider before getting a family dog

Codi Lynn of Creative Wife and Joyful Worker wants families to know that getting a dog isn't exactly as easy as it looks in the movies. Here are five things to think about before deciding if it's the right fit for your family. Getting a puppy for Christmas isn’t just something you see in your favourite movies. For our family, it became a reality this year when we surprised our kids with the sweetest little Golden Labrador. Leading up to Christmas, my sister-in-law asked us what our kids wanted. While we could’ve mentioned that our oldest is into Fortnite or that our youngest is really obsessed with Disney princesses, we knew that this year we wanted to focus on gifting experiences instead. That’s when she asked the question that started it all: What about a puppy? My husband, the kids and I had talked about adding a dog into our family for a while but had never followed through with the idea. We needed a little nudge, and this was it. After many text messages back-and-forth with my sister-in-law and a FaceTime chat with the puppy owners to “meet” her, we found the one—the cutest Golden Lab-Dalmatian mix whose eyes captured my heart. So, we got her and decided to keep her a surprise from the kids until just before Christmas. Fast-forward to the surprise reveal on Christmas Eve. We just couldn’t wait any longer. At this point, my sister-in-law had been watching her for a couple days at her house, which is where our holiday get-together would be. When we got there that night, we had the puppy hiding as we asked the kids to sit outside on the porch stairs. A few moments later, my sister-in-law came out from the side of the house and placed our new Golden Lab—topped with a big red bow on her collar—right down in front of them. Their eyes went wide and you could tell that they couldn’t believe it was actually happening. (And thankfully, we had set up a camera to capture their expressions). We decided to ask our oldest, Ezra, what he wanted to name our new puppy. He sat there for a minute, mentioned one name that didn’t seem to click and then a few minutes later said, “What about the name Lucy?” We could hardly believe he suggested it—just days before, my sister-in-law had said to my husband and I, “I feel like she’s a Lucy, but let Ezra choose the name.” Since that day, our family has learned a lot about what it means to be dog owners and the responsibilities it brings. One of the most rewarding aspects of having a puppy as well as young children is seeing them bond and grow alongside each other. Our kids each have their unique personalities, and this has been so helpful in meeting the needs of our puppy. Whether it’s snuggling up beside Lucy to read a book, running around outside or working to teach her different tricks, each of my kids brings something valuable to the table. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t hesitant about adding a dog to the family. After hearing so many stories about other families who got a dog and then realized it wasn’t a great fit for their family or lifestyle, I was worried that would be the case for us as well. But it’s been such a delight having Lucy in our home the last few months. If your family is thinking about getting a dog, but you’re feeling a little hesitant like I was, here’s what you should consider before making the decision:

1. Does a dog (and more specifically, the breed of dog you’re interested in) fit with your family’s lifestyle?

This might seem obvious, but I feel like this is the most common mistake people make. Evaluate your lifestyle by considering things such as how much time you spend at home each day, how much you travel, if the breed of dog is compatible with children, or if anyone in your family has allergies. It’s so important to not only make sure that you are ready to take on the responsibility of having a dog, but also make sure that the breed of dog you’re interested in matches your current lifestyle. There is a lot to consider when it comes to choosing a dog breed. You will want to consider their energy levels, compatibility with children and typical lifespan, to name a few.

Photo: Julie Christine Photography

2. Your children’s ages

A lot of people will say to their kids “we’ll get a dog when you are older and more responsible.” Let’s give our kids a little more credit, shall we? They are beyond responsible, whether they are ages 2, 5, or 10. Waiting for the right age isn’t a make-or-break, but you may need to be more present in guiding them with their responsibilities the younger they are. In our case, getting a dog when our kids are young has been one of the best decisions. It means they’ll get to grow a bond with our dog from a young age and we get to watch them grow together. We have seen our puppy be there for both comfort and play for all of our kids, who vary in age.

3. Adopting, fostering or getting a puppy

Puppies are cute, but depending on your family’s lifestyle, you might want to consider adopting or fostering a dog instead. You may not feel like you want to put in the effort and patience that it takes to raise a puppy—potty-training and going through the chewing phase can be overwhelming for some. It might feel like a better fit to adopt or foster a dog from a local shelter. All options are great, but just take the time to consider which is best for you and your family.

4. Connect with a local vet and consider your finances

Raising a family already comes with a handful of expenses, so adding another member to the family isn’t going to be cheap. Read articles and connect with your local vet to get an idea of how much a dog will cost you. When getting a puppy, you may be required to cover the cost of vaccinations right from the start. Ask your vet about the costs and best treatment options for things like fleas and parasites. You can also visit ParasitePolice.ca to learn more about these dangerous pests and others that you’ll need to protect against. By looking at the immediate costs of getting a dog and assessing what may be coming up in the future, you will better understand if adding a pooch to your clan is financially manageable.

Photo: Julie Christine Photography

5. Be prepared to grow your family by one

Getting a dog is like adding another member to your family. Dogs take a lot of time, patience, kindness, love and nurturing. They may not need as much attention as your children, but they still need a lot. Consider this: Would you be ready to have another kid right now? Thinking about it in this light will help you figure out if a dog is a good fit. For a while, my husband and I were considering having one more kid, but since our puppy joined our family, the spot of “just one more” has officially been filled. She’s bonding with our children and they are learning how to care for her while building a lifelong companionship. Disclosure: This content was created in partnership with Parasite Police and Today’s Parent. While compensation was provided, all opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily indicative of the opinions of Parasite Police or Today’s Parent. Read more: 3 things I wish I knew before getting a family dog 3 questions to ask yourself before getting a family dog

By Codi Lynn Warmerdam, Creative Wife and Joyful Worker Codi Lynn is mama to three kids and works from home sharing motherhood moments through her blog, Creative Wife and Joyful Worker. You can find her sharing about their daily life, travels and style all while encouraging mamas that we are all in this together. Find out more about her through Instagram on @creativewifeandjoyfulworker Read the full article

[totallyboard]

Review: Amun-Re

Sometimes when I sit and look through old family photo albums, I see people to whom I'm related, yet, I'm completely oblivious as to who they actually are. Even so, they aren't completely unfamiliar either. I think we all have that obscure aunt or cousin that came and visited us and while we have no immediate memory, we still had an uncomfortable picture taken and safely documented in the basement bin of photo albums.

And it is within those pictures we see something familiar. We see ourselves participating in Lord-knows-what, and wearing an outfit that I'm pretty sure my sister picked out because it probably looked intentionally ridiculous, smiling and have a great time. We're familiar with it because we see it, talk about it as it's right in front of us, and we are captivated by the fact that we were once in a place that we know and with people we know...except that weird uncle-in-law that apparently was super into Supertramp.

That's also how I feel about playing Knizia games.

They seem obscure...even weird and Supertrampy. But I'm somehow familiar with them because the execution of the mechanics is done so cleanly. It's like I'm hanging out with them in photographs taken in the late 70s.

Amun Re, originally published in 2003 though now recently updated in 2017 by Tasty Minstrel Games, is just one of those games. I've heard about this game for the better part of the last decade though have had apprehension about it (more later). Amun Re is a game of Area Control and Auctioning, and while I never laid eyes on the original version, I don't imagine that I ever care to at this point. Tasty Minstrel, as usual, curates and/or produces games of the highest quality, and Amun Re is no exception.

Usually games that are riddled with miniatures are judged on their quality (and, they should be). But it's usually those games that are only judged for quality. It's rare that someone speaks up about a euro game filled with cardboard chits and says "these components are gorgeous". It's cardboard. Amun Re in this case, is a game of euro-mechanics, but has these...gorgeous...miniature pyramids and bricks that (I'm assuming) are some sort of acrylic. They don't seem like typical soft plastic. In fact, I feel like I could easily throw one through the window (note: don't throw these through windows). The rest of the components are standard quality of cardboard and card stock (which isn't a slight against the quality), and the graphic design is laid out very well. One thing that I super-hate is trying to match symbols over and over again to their descriptions in the rulebook, as if I'm some sort of Egyptologist on an archeological excursion that probably should have paid better attention in school. Fortunately, it requires very little higher education, but if you get confused...hey, it's theme!

Amun Re features an auctioning / bidding mechanism that is pretty simple. Depending on the number of players, there will be provinces on the board that will have a card indicating the current or potential cost to bid for control. Once you place your bid, other players in turn order will place their bids, too. It's entirely possible that they could outbid you. WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? Well, dear friends, they would do it for one of two reasons:

1. They're jerks. 2. The province has some sweet resources that they'd be fools to let pass by.

Oh, the bonus reason? Both of course. Only a jerk would take those sweet resources away from you, unless you're the one taking it away, in which case, it's a smart move.

Resources aren't tight in this game (like in Railways of the World, where you start out as poor as a stone in a bucket of gravy*). But your available resources can't be spread far and wide, either. You want to dump your stuff in a really lucrative province that's going to have great return, so that you can keep adding to it and use these resources to dump into future lucrative provinces. You can collect bricks, which can be used for pyramids, which can be used for MORE pyramids. You can have farmers tiling the fertile Nile delta, bringing you profits unknown. You can let caravans camp in your provinces, for when there's a dry season, they'll bring you profits, too.

The dry or wet seasons are dependent upon how many sacrifices donations you can make to the god Amun Re. If you sacrifice donate enough people money, you can encourage the deity to send floods to your farms which will, as aforementioned, bring profits unknown. Or you can be one of those jerks again, and not send your people money to Amun Re and force a dry season to allow your caravans to seek profit instead of the farms.

All of this happens in a single age...the Old Age.

And then a thousand years pass. 

[Not literally, because this would be the most boring game ever.]

Then the New Age comes. All that's left are the bricks and the pyramids that your ancestors left behind. The farms are gone. The caravans are gone. All of it. Gone. Whisked away with the sands of time (this is somewhat literal, considering it's in ancient Egypt and according to my recent Google Image search, there's a lot of sand there).

But that's the catch. All of the same provinces are going to be, more or less, re-auctioned to this new culture but along with the constructs that their ancestors left behind, significantly changing the value of all of them. What this means is that the bidding gets a bit grittier because you WANT those pyramids and you definitely want to take over that province with all the farms that one of the other jerks took out from underneath you. Jerks.

All this is happening with hand full of favor cards that can help you along the way by giving your farms bonuses, your caravans bonuses, extra cash during the delta floods, and even more bricks. Also, there are end-of-game bonuses that you can hang onto in your hand that will surely bring you even more fame. Got an end-game-bonus that clearly won't work? No worry...trade it in for gold, friend.

I've not played a lot of auction games. I'll admit that. And as such, I don't have much to compare it to, but the auction system in this game is seamless. It makes sense. It's perfect, actually. Of the auction games I have played, this is pretty solid and likely will be the standard at which I measure other auction games in the future. The card play, the bidding, the the sacrificing donating...it all makes sense and it all flows together. It's like I've been playing this game my whole life. It all works.

The only hang up I have (and this isn't the game's fault) is that it requires at minimum with 3 players. I do mostly 2p games, and 3p on occasion. It's rare that I get a 4p game in, though I did get a 4 player game of Amun Re in and it was fantastic. I'll say this: it scales really well from 3 to 5 players (disclosure, I've only played this with 3 players and 4 players). Cargo Noir by Days of Wonder kind pulls this off with 2p albeit a tad lackluster.

Look  -  I like this game. And though it's not my favorite Knizia game (that award goes to Ingenious), I love how well it goes together, and how familiar it all feels to me. While I'm looking forward to my next play, I'm not sure what category into which it fits. See, I can play a game like Ticket to Ride or Kingdom Builder over and over again, because while the game doesn't change, elements within change. I feel like this might feel like playing the same game with a dozen repeated plays (disclosure, I haven't a dozen plays of this game). I don't know. Veterans of this game may disagree; it's entirely possible that they would agree with me in this, and it within those familiarities and similarities between plays is the charm in and of itself.

Ingenious is my absolute favorite Reiner Knizia game of all, and it is strictly abstract. A far contrast from the thematic elements in Amun-Re, it is still very similar among plays and that's what is charming about it. Amun Re may not be too far off of this either. 

The rules, for whatever reason, leave some critical elements out, like, what do you do when the favor cards run out? A quick PDF search of the old version says to reshuffle the discards, so that's what we did.

All in all, this is a fine game, and is a great design. I don't know if it'll be a staple in my collection or not, but for those nights wherein I have 3 people wanting to play a game that will enjoy running some auctions and sacrifices donations, this may be the key ingredient

[note: Thanks to Tasty Minstrel for providing this review copy!]

* I just made up this simile. It doesn't make sense but it was what I could do with the lack of coffee I was experiencing at the time. Though, let's be honest: a guy with a bucket of gravy would indeed be a rich man.

[kat-feinated]

Engagement photos & how we met

This week we got our engagement photos back from our AMAZING photographer Ashley Maxwell, and I am so over the moon in love. With Ashley. I mean with Joshua…

So, I thought not only would I share some of my favorite photos, but also the story of how we met, why I moved across the country to pursue our relationship, and how we got engaged!

I met Joshua my junior year of college at UC Davis. It was a cold and rainy day (giving you some ambience…). My friend/sorority sister, Amanda, asked me to grab coffee at our favorite coffee shop, Mishka’s. If you visit Davis, go there immediately and order a mint latte and a peanut butter chocolate chip cookie. I used to eat one at least once a week and I was so skinny then! I guess it was all that biking. Ok, back on topic…

As we were enjoying our coffees, Amanda asked me if it would be ok if her boyfriend and his friend joined us for a little while. Before I could even answer, she told me that her boyfriend would give us a ride home afterwards since it was raining. Obviously I said yes.

Said boyfriend (Andrew) and his friend (Joshua) arrived shortly after. Ok, you guys get that this was all planned out beforehand, right? Well, I sure didn’t. I was completely oblivious. They ordered coffees and came and sat with us; Joshua sat next to me.  I did notice Joshua right away when I first saw him because he was so tall, had beautiful dark curls and was wearing a navy peacoat. I thought, that guy can rock a peacoat!

I have absolutely zero idea what the four of us talked about. It’s not that he didn’t make a good impression, he definitely did. I remember thinking he was really nice and easy to talk to. And I was definitely interested. I immediately went home and asked my friend Lisa about him, who told me she was pretty sure he had a girlfriend (they had broken up a few weeks earlier) and that he was very nice (this part is true).

Unfortunately, Joshua was already signed up to spend three months in Washington, D.C. interning at the U.S. Senate, and would be leaving a week or so later. I figured that was the end of that, and went about my normal life.

WELL if you’ve met my friend Amanda, then of course she wasn’t going to let things end there. So as soon as Joshua returned from D.C., she more or less forced me to go to one of his fraternity parties that week. (I promise we were not THOSE people. Yes, we were in greek life but I literally went to bed by 10pm every night of college). I went to the party. I played beer pong with Joshua and we were both awkward. He offered a handle of BLUE vodka which he drank most of, but even the small amount I drank was awful and quite strong. I left early (again, went to bed by 10pm every night), and still got up for my 8am Spanish class the next day. (Full disclosure-I made it to class but was so hungover I had to lay down on the grass outside the building afterwards until my friend Lisa could come pick me up).

After that, we pretty much continued dating through that spring and summer. At some point we had “the talk” where we decided to date exclusively, although I don’t think we were calling each other “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” at the time. I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that Joshua had accepted a full ride scholarship to the University of Iowa Law School that fall, so we both knew he would be moving, and I had a year of college left, plus a study abroad trip planned for the end of the summer.

But, I was falling hard and was secretly hoping that we could somehow keep the relationship going, even if that meant dating long-distance. I was terrified to bring this up to Joshua because I figured he for sure would not be interested in this. He was going to meet some beautiful and intimidating law school woman and they would do mock trial together and rule the world. So I kept putting the talk off. I literally didn’t bring it up until the last night before I was leaving for Europe.

I could not stop crying that night. We went out for dinner and saw a movie, and I cried at the restaurant and during the movie. I found myself telling Joshua that I would be willing to move to Iowa if it meant we could be together. I ugly cried (so much snot). To my surprise/joy, Joshua also did not want to break up. We had only been dating for less than six months at this point, but we already started talking about what me moving would mean for our future and even talked about marriage. It wasn’t like a proposal or anything, but we both agreed that me moving cross country for him was a big deal and a huge commitment and we both wanted to take it seriously.

When I left the next day, we hadn’t made a definite plan besides me coming to visit him in Iowa in the fall and re-assessing at that point. I went to Europe for six weeks and I am so glad I did because it was the best six weeks ever. I also talked to Joshua every day during that time. I went and visited him in October, and was surprised by how much I loved Iowa City. As a born and bred Californian I had pretty stereotypical ideas about the Midwest, but Iowa City is an adorable little red brick, hipster coffee shop/bookstore oasis. I mean, people wear birkenstocks there, for God’s sake.

So, I did senior year of college and we continued dating long-distance and talking every day. I applied for the Master’s of Social Work program at Iowa and nowhere else. I figured that if I didn’t get in, I would just move home with my parents and make a plan from there. I’m a highly practical person and even though I was optimistic that Joshua and I could be long-term, I also did not want to move for a boy and then break up and have nothing going for me there.

I found out I had been accepted to Iowa while in Dublin, Ireland with my dad and sister. I was both exhilarated and terrified. I had never lived outside of California and knew nothing about winters with snow or how to be far away from my family. But, I did it anyway.

And you know what? Following my heart was the best decision. I loved graduate school and I still keep in touch with my friends from Iowa. I loved Iowa and I miss it all the time. Except that dang flight (or flights I should say, as they have NO DIRECT FLIGHTS from California). And, not only did I come away with a master’s degree, but Joshua and I stayed together. I supported him through law school, which if you or anyone you know has gone to law school, then you know it’s the worst. And Joshua supported me through homesickness. We both survived Iowa winters, which are truly no joke.

In 2017, we moved to Denver, Colorado after Joshua accepted a job with the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. I originally accepted a job as a therapist for a private practice, but after the practice closed due to financial issues I moved to Denver without a job, which was majorly anxiety-provoking for me. But I found a great temporary gig as a barista at the cute coffee shop down the street from our apartment, and within six months I found a job in my field, where I just celebrated my 2-year work anniversary.

In 2018, we adopted a cat. In 2019, we bought a condo. In October 2019, we planned a weekend trip to visit Fort Collins, which is a college town about an hour north of Denver. Confession time-I had a pretty strong feeling that Joshua was going to propose. At this point we were talking about marriage and the future a lot, and my mom had dropped some pretty heavy hints that a proposal would be coming by the end of the year. Plus, when we planned our Fort Collins trip Joshua kept saying we needed to visit the flower gardens there, and I was like, “Hello? Who are you?”.

As I predicted, Joshua did propose that weekend, and in the flower gardens. The best part was there was an enormous frat house right behind the gardens having some kind of rager. I’m talking guys in wife beaters with red solo cups playing rage cage and screaming. It honestly made the proposal hilarious and lightened the mood (who knew proposals were so nerve-wracking? Although I’m pretty sure I was more nervous than Joshua).

I cried, we called my parents, I cried some more, we went and got lunch/champagne, I probably cried again.

We were supposed to take our engagement photos in January, but I fell on ice and broke my arm, and I didn’t really care to take my pictures in a cast extending from my shoulder to my fingertips. We rescheduled for March and I am SO glad we did, because beautiful spring flowers were coming out and we lucked out with the weather. It rained the whole morning, but cleared up in the afternoon just in time for our photos.

We decided to do our photos in Davis, since that’s where we met and we just love it there so much. We did the first part of the photo shoot at the UC Davis Arboretum, which is full of beautiful flowers and trees and REALLY AGGRESSIVE DUCKS. If I look uncomfortable in any of these photos, it’s not the photographer’s fault but because the ducks were literally following us around quacking at us in a menacing way.

We did the rest of our photos at Mishka’s Cafe, and were lucky enough to score the EXACT TABLE where we first met (ok, we may have had to scare a tiny undergraduate student away but it’s fine). Then we just walked around downtown and took some awkward crosswalk photos (only awkward because you have to kiss really fast and then run away from oncoming traffic).

And, that’s pretty much our story. Minus six years of details. I am really really praying that we are all out of quarantine by November because I’ve been planning this dang wedding for months and months now and I just want to wear a pretty dress and drink all the wine. If not, I guess we can always elope.

#engaged #engagement #wedding #ucdavis #davisca #weddingphotography

[anonsally]

Photos from Day 6 of Australia vacation: drive to the East Coast of Tasmania

Rows 1-2: Coal River Farm

Row 3: Richmond Bridge and the resident Pacific Black Ducks and their ducklings, plus bonus domestic/hybrid ducks

Rows 4-5: cottage at Piermont Retreat

#personal #travel #photography #birdwatching #DUCKY! #full disclosure: some of these photos are by sister in law

[blogdangerousobjectcollecto-blog]

I need cheap car insurance, which company would be best?

"I need cheap car insurance, which company would be best?

I'm a freshman in college getting a car and I have a tight budget. Please help.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecosts.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Would a 2002 Mustang Coupe have high insurance?

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I LiVE IN FLORIDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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How much is your car insurance?

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Would it be cheaper for me to go on my parents insurance or get my own insurance plan?

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I thought health insurance cost was going down?

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good credit, driving record, etc...""

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First car ... I need cheap car insurance.. what car offers cheap insurance?

Tell me how much the insurance costs if possible, bearing in mind I am a new driver.""

Is this car insurance company good?

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Baby Insurance at 19?

I doubt it will, but, I am 19 years old and I am still on my mom's insurance plan. So if I were to get pregnant, would the insurance cover my baby's delivery and pregnancy appointments or would I still have to pay the noninsured payments.""

I don't have insurance ?

I don't have any insurance. Any cheap one? Please any suggestion ?

Is a 2000 Mustang GT expensive to insure?

I'm 16 and looking for a first car. I have my heart set on a certain mustang but the only thing is insurance cost. Its a 2000 GT and im going to be insured with state farm. Im 16 getting my license in 2 weeks so I know thats a big factor. Also I was trying to get some ideas about what it might cost and found this on the state farm website. http://www.statefarm.com/insurance/auto_insurance/veh_rating/ford.asp Not sure if its relevant but if it is than can someone explain what it means?

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Is there any term life Companies with decent prices that you don't have to take physicals for?

Does leasing a car affect insurance more than financing?

So because I don't technically own the car, will leasing a new car be more expensive than buying a new car... insurance wise? Or is there a negligable diffenence?""

How much Is car insurance for a 21 year old in the uk?

I cant drive yet but have a provisional. my friend has been driving for 3 years. We are both 21. He will teach me and said I would have to get insurance on his car for 6 months. Does anybody no how much this will cost a month. He drives a vauxhall corsa. Full Stars 4 best answer

Color of the car for insurance purposes?

Does the color of the car have anything to do w/ the price you pay for your insurance? I have heard that bright colors make your insurance rates higher.

Average cost for motorcycle insurance in massachusetts?

Does any one know what the average cost is to insure a motorcycle with normal driving record

New car for 16 year old. Insurance question?

So I'm 16 and my parents are buying me a 2009-2010 Honda Civic EX-L. Anyways, the insurance will be under my dad's name. Until I get into an accident, I don't need to have insurance. Would it be better to stick to the insurance we have now. Which we have 5 houses under, and 3 cars. Or would it be better to go to another insurance company and not let either know of eachother? Thanks! Oh and don't bother BSing about how it should be under my name... I won't listen so why do it?""

If my auto insurance cancel how much grace period is there after the due date?

If my auto insurance cancel how much grace period is there after the due date?

Cost of insurance on a mercedes Benz each month?

i have to do a gay project

I need cheap car insurance, which company would be best?

I'm a freshman in college getting a car and I have a tight budget. Please help.

How much would the insurance cost for a high dollar sports car?

Like a $400,000 Lamborghini Murcielago or a $500,000 Chrysler ME 4-12? A little vague, but what would a ballpark amount be?""

Which company offers the best medicare qualified health and prescription drug insurance in California?

I'm trying to find the best and most affordable medicare covered health and prescription insurance option for an elderly person who receives less than 24,000.00 annually from Social Security and one pension, who lives near Sacramento, California. This person has been using HealthNet for doctor and specialist visits and it is a policy which includes a prescription drug plan. By Jan 1, 2010 HealthNet no longer will offer this policy in the Sacramento, CA area. This person uses one prescription medication daily and the total retail price for that drug is approx. 100.00 monthly and under the expiring HealthNet plan the drug costs this person only 40.00 per month..""

Health insurance options for a college student?

One of my best friends is headed off to college, but she doesn't have health insurance, and her parents won't allow her to stay on theirs (they can't afford it, either). I'm concerned for her and obviously want to know if there are some options for her to get some affordable but decent health insurance. What are her options? For the sake of this question, assume that her university does NOT provide their own student health care options. Thanks in advance!""

Car insurance quote should i pay?

i took out a car insurance policy 3months ago the operator quoted me 1050 pounds which i thought was a bit expensive, she said if i canceled within 14days (cooling of period) i need not pay no moneys!! i canceled within 8days. i got a cheaper quote elsewhere, Now the 1st insurance company are going to take me to Court they are saying i owe then 320 for 8days cover! should i pay them? whats the Law on this can any one help me has i don't think i should pay it.""

Can I insure a car without it being registered to anyone?

I was driving a car belonging to a trader but not registered to him and got pulled over by the police and fined 300 pounds the car is in the impound but the car is not registered to the dealer how can I get the car back from the police impound I also have no insurance on that car because the dealer was repairing my car and I was driving his car and thought I was covered but I was not what can I do to get the car back please help

Questions bout unemployment insurance in California?

If I get layoff, i was making $2500 before taxes per month for 40 hours a week, how much would I get from the unemployment insurance?""

""How much taxes will be taken out of $250,000 life insurance?

I am getting a life insurance policy pay out. Does anyone know how much taxes will be taken out?

Car insurance for 18/19 yr old?

im 18/19 yr old and just passed my test. how much will it cost for insurance to drive a 1.6 and im a girl? and how much will it cost if i did a passplus?

Car Insurance question?

Hi im 23 and currently live in BC, im planning on moving to Alberta and im wondering how much my insurance would be when I move I have my class 5 BC license my insurance monthly right now is 350 bucks due to me having an accident with my N a couple years ago I want to know if I move to alberta will it be more or less a month as ive heard alberta insurance companies dont like drivers under 25. Also is it worth risking it and not getting it changed and sneak it and hope not to get in to an accident with my bc license if ive moved there?""

""Insurance question, help!?""

While driving your Mazda to Gibson City, Illinois, you hit a cow that was standing in the road. Although the cow is not seriously injured, your car is badly damaged and will not run. It costs $100 to tow your car to the nearest location that can repair it and $2,200 to repair your car. Since you do not want to be stranded in Gibson City, you rent a car for $30 per day for the 3 days it takes to get your car repaired. Your policy will pay: A. $ 1,890 B. $ 2,200 C. $ 2,360 D. $ 2,390 E. None of the above While driving your twin brother, who is visiting with you, around campus, you accidently run into a tree. Your brother is injured and incurs $7,000 in medical bills. It costs $2,500 to repair your car. Your brother sues you (so much for his next birthday present) and wins a liability award of $20,000. Your policy will pay: A. $ 4,000 B. $ 9,000 C. $ 20,000 D. $ 22,000 E. $ 29,000 While driving on campus, you are hit by a car that runs a red light, resulting in bodily injury to you of $110,000. The other driver has liability limits of 20/40/15. How much will your insurance pay? A. $ 0 B. $20,000 C. $ 80,000 D. $100,000 E. $120,000 Assuming the same coverage, type of automobile, territory, and driving record, which of the following persons would you expect to pay the highest premium for automobile insurance? A. a 35-year old single female. B. a 20-year old married male. C. a 20-year old single male. D. a 20-year old single female. E. a 35-yer old single male.""

How much does a rx of augmentin cost without insurance?

How much does a rx of augmentin cost without insurance?

Where to get cheap insurance for a young driver?

I'm 17 getting insured on my mums yaris 1.0, don't mind if it's got one of them box things that measures speed etc. Just wondering If anyone can recommend anyone they have used and have got a good quote from thanks Ed""

Do you have to get insurance for just a learner's permit in california?

I just turned 15 and a half like 3 days ago and every time I bring up driver's ed or my learner's permit at all to my mom. All she says is No, I can't the insurance! All my friends are getting theirs and i've been waiting since I was like 5 to get my permit then my license (cuz my parents never let me even park the car and if I can drive I can actually go places) So is insurance needed for a permit and how much would it cost for a 15 year old male per month.""

Cheapest women car insurance on a provisional?

im 23. got my own car, white, k reg, clio, automatic (1993) im only on a provisional license an ive found so far that my quotes r not very good. my highest as been 2027.57 an my lowest is 678.98 will i get anything lower. i know its cos of my age an cos im the main driver but if any women or men know any insurance companys that ave good lower prices then help me out thanks u never know wot ur get in return lol""

How much do you pay for motorcycle insurance?

I'm trying to get an idea of how much I'll pay for motorcycle insurance. I'm 20, with a good driving record, who is looking to buy a honda rebel as a starter bike. So, if you could tell me your age, gender, insurance company, and how much you pay, it would be greatly appreciated. Please only serious answers. TIA""

Ok I am for the poor getting Health Care....And I am also for insurance reform?

for crying out loud there are kids poor with illness..for them to not be insured is just insane... 1.What I am not for however is this fine for not having insurance if you can afford it.It is there choice and they should be made to pay for there health care should it go South...If they lose there house,car etc than that is there fault because they made a choice.AND please don't come on here and say there is not a fine for it because there is..I just read it again... 2.What I would also like to know is why the Democrats voted out the amendment to the bill that stated that if you have insurance you will not have to replace it with something else?Is that not something Obama has already promised would be in the bill... Thanks for all the Answers ahead of time...""

Cheap auto insurance in Canada?

for new drivers?

Will my insurance be higher if my car doesnt have airbags?

I'm about to buy a mustang and I know how much insurance will be already, I've talked to my insurance agent and there is a mustang with low miles, and its a nice deal but needs a little work. The main thing it needs is Airbags. Will my insurance be higher because it has no airbags? And how much does it cost to get airbags replaced?""

Health care bill will make health services more affordable and of higer quality?

why would it? can anyone give me a paragraph on why and why these things happen?

Only Teens please :) How much do you pay for auto insurance?

Teen payments 19 years old preference

Do i need to call my car insurance company?

I was in a car accident today and it was not a small accident. I hit a car on its side. there was an older woman so an ambulance came but she ended up not being hurt, just procautionary. the police were called and they took all my info and whatnot. It was wierd the police did not give me any papers or anything and told me i could leave. they just asked me if i wanted my car towed and i said no. the police officer also told me when i asked him that i dont need to call my insurance company unless i want to make a claim. is that true? i only have 1 way insurance so im probably going to scrap my car. I always thought u should call them no matter what, do you know if i am obligated to call them or will they contact me? location: Quebec, Canada thanks a bunch, Tyler""

How much would car insurance would cost for a 16 year old?

Okay so i need to know how much would the insurence about be for a 16 year old driving a 2005 Mazda Rx-8 4 door coupe manual? Please help

Will my insurance go up due to points on my license?

I am a 22 year old male. Was cited for going 25.5 miles over the speed limit on a freeway. Plead guilty. And 4 points were assessed on my license. This is the first time any points have been on my license. My question is will my insurance go up do to this and if so how much could I expect? Thanks Also, if anyone knows of anything I can do to keep my insurance from going up, please let me know.""

Where can I find cheap health insurance?

My wife is epileptic and health insurance is difficult to find for her due to her pre-existing condition anyone know what I can find.?

Does high mileage cars have lower or higger car insurance?

Does high mileage cars have lower or higger car insurance?

I need cheap car insurance, which company would be best?

I'm a freshman in college getting a car and I have a tight budget. Please help.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/cheapest-way-get-insurance-zerneisen-sasha"

[dudence-blog]

Dear Dudence for 13 October 2017

Man, Dudence feels terrible.  I. Was. Late.  I had this written yesterday.  I’d like to say that Mrs. Dudence’s birthday, or playing with Little Dudence, or any number of other reasons justified being late.  But I cannot.  It is all on me.  Today is the first day of the ALCS and this is, hopefully, the last of Herpes Week.  I might have to add “An STD doesn’t mean you’re an awful person” to Dudence’s Guidelines.  As always, shoot me an email at [email protected] or hit me up on Facebook.

I have a girlfriend I love very much. I have moderate depression and anxiety, and she has supported me for the entirety of our relationship; she’s a really excellent partner and person. We technically have an open relationship, but neither of us has acted on it yet, so we talk a lot about how we’re feeling and any worries we have. I’ve never had this kind of “check-in” before, and it feels great.

I also have three fantastic housemates, two of whom are in a couple. Before they started dating (also before I started dating my current partner), I had really strong feelings for one of them and had to work through a lot of sadness and jealousy when I heard about their relationship. Recently my feelings have resurfaced in full force, along with some feelings for the other half of the couple. I am often hit with waves of sadness and/or jealousy when I see them together, even if we’re all hanging out. Sometimes I think about what it would have looked like if I’d ended up with the friend I first liked, but mostly now it’s more wanting to be part of the couple, too—wanting to be around them, be together, be included (and yes, I’d really like to kiss both of them!).

Dear Gay and Tired, how terrible have your other residences as an adult been that a situation where you’re increasingly anxious, depressed, and jealous to the point it is eroding your mental health is the best situation you’ve ever been in?  That is just rough and as Newdie said you (or them) is probably going to need to move.  Although I think that either you or them moving out is the best option, I don’t think you should dismiss “tell them how I feel” out-of-hand.  You say you’ve discussed it with your girlfriend and that you wouldn’t do anything without her okay, which tells me she hasn’t said your feelings for them are a deal-breaker.  Talk it over with your girlfriend, have her give you her consent or not.  Is she doesn’t you’re not the worse off, if she does broach it with your roommates; please let one of them be named Jessie....  The worst case is you’ve blown up a friendship and have to move; you were going to need to do the latter either.  But I’d be willing to bet your roommates are aware that there is something up with you, maybe not the extent or details, but they know.  Give them the opportunity to tell you how they feel, and even if they’re not into it, it’s possible they won’t make it awkward.  And in the best case scenario a whole lot of people get to bang one another.  And if that does come to pass toss an invite to your fourth roommate, it’s just rude to leave them out.

I am an older, sexually conservative woman who got herpes from a man I was dating. He’s a pillar of the community and did not tell me he had herpes. I had a long dry spell before we started dating. My issue is that I have an unlabeled bottle of herpes medication in my desk drawer at work. My administrative assistant asked for some pain relievers, and I opened my desk drawer and shared from a labeled, over-the-counter bottle of acetaminophen. I saw her staring at the unlabeled bottle in the drawer. Later that day I went back to my office, and she and another person had actually opened the unlabeled bottle and were looking at the medicine! 

  Dear Pariah, I’m going to guess you had a moment of l’esprit de l’escalier with your assistant and her conspirator.  I think you need to go speak with, at least, your HR department about the original incident and determine what options, if any, you have at your disposal.  I also think a visit with an attorney who specializes in this area of the law would be in order, since this wasn’t something your employer erroneously revealed, I don’t know if the FMLA applies or if your state has a law against disclosing private facts.  At the very least your HR folks need to refamiliarize the employees with rules regarding unauthorized disclosure of medical information, and the consequences for such disclosure.  I’d think this is something they’d be very interested to do as the employer might want to know if they have an employee who can’t keep her trap shut regarding private medical information.  In regards to your assistant you are long past the time when you were too stunned to act.  You need to have a very pointed conversation with her about her incredible violation of your privacy.  I’d have prefered this conversation was had as part of her exit interview because you were firing her, but that’s me and we’re now months beyond the incident.  You don’t need to get into details about what the medication was for because it doesn’t matter.  It could have been for Supergonsyphyliaidsepes which you got from a foursome involving a pair of dwarves an octopus and it wouldn’t matter what the medication was because the grossest thing involved in this incident was your assistant and her co-conspirator shifting through your medication to identify what you were taking.  Granted, if you want to have some fun, when you do bring this up with HR tell them you caught her snooping through your desk looking through your medication and you’re worried she has a drug problem.  Let her explain to the HR pogue that she was merely snooping at your anti-viral drugs, not trying to score her next fix.  There is nothing in this which is your fault.  I know that doesn’t help with the feelings of shame, embarrassment, and betrayal but you need to remind yourself of it.  

I got married six months ago. My relationship with my family is at best distant—we don’t have a lot in common and there were several incidents of what I’ve been told most people would call abuse (but I’m not there yet, mentally speaking). My dad is a racist, sexist creep. I’ve managed to get him to tone it down around me enough that I can handle a monthly phone call, but that’s my limit. I really didn’t want him to walk me down the aisle, but by the end of the engagement, I was so burned out on decision-making that I just didn’t have the strength for that conversation, with him or any of my many relatives who would have demanded an explanation.

Dear Angry, Just Angry, it’s time for you to redefine your relationship with your father.  Either have a final conversation with him where you tell him that you’re not going to be able to talk with him again until he addresses his alcohol problem (if you even wish to continue having conversations with him if he sobers up), or get your husband to do it for you.  Hopefully there’s someone in your family who you trust enough to tell them why you’re not going to be talking with your father and that you want to limit your exposure to him during your brother’s medical issue.  While you might feel foolish for not knowing the extent of his problems, someone else in your family knew, and they needed to give you the head’s up.  As for your wedding, I know it’s hard to see it now, but this is something that’s going to fade.  Your friends and guests don’t view you being walked down the aisle by your father as an “endorsement”.  They don’t blame you for his behavior.  I think a good way for you to start moving forward with your own feelings from that day would be to finish up with your photographer.  Have your husband call your photographer and schedule the time to go over your photos for the album; but also have your photographer take out pictures with your dad prior to arriving.  Let you see that you still looked beautiful, happy, in love and excited for the life you were going to start with your new husband.  It’s amazing how much your memory of an event can improve when you’re spared a reminder of who you thought was ruining it.

My family is not well-off and neither am I. My parents always try to help me where they can because they feel guilty that they couldn’t give me a better financial start in life, which has never been something I held against them. My sister recently had a baby, and I came up to visit and help ferry my mom, who dislikes driving, to and from the hospital. My last morning here, my dad got up early and took my car to get gas.  I came downstairs afterward, and my car keys were on the table with one or two 20-dollar bills folded underneath them. I assumed this was the money they’d offered me to help pay for my sister’s shower. I left it there, but when I came back less than an hour later, it was gone. My mom and I were the only two people in the house. I didn’t say anything because what if I was wrong and I accused my mom of taking money meant for me? But Prudie, I don’t think I am wrong.

Dear Cheated, slow your roll high speed.  As NuPru points out you’re making two assumptions; the money was for you and your mom took it for nefarious reasons.  Let’s play this out:

“Hey dad, I saw there was a couple $20s on the table the other day, was that for me to cover the shower?”  

“No, it was my change from getting gas.”

Or, “Yes it was, why?”

Then, “I left it on the table, but when I came back it was gone.”

“Oh, yeah, your mom picked it up, she thought it was the change from when I went to get gas.  I forgot, here you go.”

Scene. Last night my wife and I went to a small theater to watch The Mystery of Edwin Drood. In the row in front of us, a woman became increasingly amorous with her date. She first leaned over and kissed his cheek. Then she took off her shoes, put her legs on his lap, and started kissing his neck. Then they began a lip-lock session—all while we were trying to watch the play. My wife, who had to look through their hook-up to watch the stage, leaned forward and asked them to break it up. Fortunately they did and must have decided to carry on elsewhere, as they didn’t return for the second act. At what point is it reasonable to ask people to “get a room” during a performance? And what would you suggest saying?

Dear Prude at Edward Drood, try asking your wife for help with this question.  If you’re feeling feisty though you could always offer to join in or you and your wife show them how it’s done.

I am a professional woman in my mid-30s. My parents live about five hours away, and I visit them for a few days at a time every few months. My mother has unacknowledged anxiety problems that prevent her from traveling to see me (her go-to excuse is that her pet needs her, although they have a pet sitter at the ready). She also refuses to call me. She says she could “never live with [her]self” if she disturbed me while I was asleep, as I sometimes work nights—though I’ve explained the Do Not Disturb feature on my phone and told her she can always leave me a voicemail if I don’t pick up.

Dear Not Asleep, you’re not unreasonable for feeling a bit hurt that she won’t initiate contact, but it might just be a thing you’re going to need to accept.  At least until she decides to do something about her issues keeping her from calling you.  I don’t know if you’re visiting them “enough” because I have no idea what “enough” would look like, but a visit every few months for several days at a time seems more than reasonable.  It sounds like you’re doing everything people would expect from a caring child.  You mom’s hang-ups are not something you can do anything about if she doesn’t want to do anything about them.  Call and visit when you can in good conscience.  If you do want to do something yourself though, next time you call your mom tell her you’re hanging up and you’d like her to call you back.  You’re awake, you’re expecting her call, let her see it isn’t the worst thing in the world.  Not sure if it would work, but maybe it can help her get over the issue she has with doing it for real.

[consumerratingandreview-blog]

Buying a fast-track to U.S. citizenship? The $500K ‘golden visa,’ explained

David North of the Center for Immigration Studies, a Washington-based group that advocates significant reductions in immigration, said there is no need for an immigrant investor program.

"It is lodged in an agency that does not deal in high finance, and, of course, it involves the sale of visas to aliens who could not become U.S. immigrants in any other way," North told the House Judiciary Committee.

Trump recently extended the EB-5 program without making any changes urged by many in Congress. The White House says it is "evaluating wholesale reform of the EB-5 program to ensure that the program is used as intended and that investment is being spread to all areas of the country.''

Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) and chairman Chairman Chuck Grassley (R-IA) during a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing. (Mark Wilson | Getty Images)Nicole Kushner Meyer (third from the left), sister of White House senior adviser Jared Kushner, at a promotional event in Shanghai during a pitch to wealthy Chinese investors to buy a stake in her family's newest real estate development project in Jersey City. (Albee Zank | AFP/Getty Images)

Nicole Kushner Meyer (third from the left), sister of White House senior adviser Jared Kushner, at a promotional event in Shanghai during a pitch to wealthy Chinese investors to buy a stake in her family's newest real estate development project in Jersey City. (Albee Zank | AFP/Getty Images)

JERSEY CITY–It may seem odd, but imagine if some guy in China looking for a quick path to U.S. citizenship could plunk down a half-million-dollar investment on a luxury apartment development in Jersey City, and get to the front of the line for a coveted green card.

Welcome to the EB-5 program

It’s called a “golden visa,” and has been in the spotlight in recent weeks following disclosures that the family of Jared Kushner sought to use the program to help finance a new luxury real estate development in Jersey City.

The EB-5 program: what’s is it?

EB-5 visas allow foreign investors to obtain green cards for permanent residency–and a fast-track to U.S. citizenship–in exchange for putting big money into job-creating projects in this country. In recent years, it has become a source of funding for major hotels and real estate projects. Even the Pennsylvania Turnpike funded an expansion project through the visa program.

But the program has come increasingly under a cloud in recent years, even before the firestorm of criticism that came after the Kushner family made their pitch to Chinese investors in Beijing to secure $150 million in financing for a new Jersey City housing development known as One Journal Square.

Intended to spark development in economically distressed neighborhoods, it has instead been used in large part to fund luxury development projects. At the same time, allegations of fraud and abuse have been rife.

Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa), a long-time foe of the program, wants it eliminated, complaining that it lacks a verifiable way to measure job creation and has led to many of the wealthiest areas of the country being inaccurately designated as places of “high unemployment,” to enable investors to qualify with smaller investments.

In February, Grassley and Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) introduced bipartisan legislation to kill the program.

“The EB-5 program is inherently flawed. It says that U.S. citizenship is for sale,” said Feinstein. “It is wrong to have a special pathway to citizenship for the wealthy while millions wait in line for visas.”

Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) and chairman Chairman Chuck Grassley (R-IA) during a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing. (Mark Wilson | Getty Images)

The EB-5 program: what’s the price of admission?

The program was approved by Congress in 1990, which created the so-called “Employment-Based Fifth Preference,” or EB-5 immigrant visa, aimed at promoting job creation and capital investment in the United States by foreign investors.

At its heart was basically a pay-to-play proposal. A foreign investor who put $1 million in a new business resulting in the creation of at least 10 full-time positions, could apply for a green card (along with their spouses and unmarried children under the age of 21), giving them permanent residence in the U.S.

If the investment is in a rural area or in a part of the country with high unemployment–what the government defined as a targeted employment area–the minimum investment dropped to $500,000.

Under the program, the initial EB-5 visa is valid for two years. If the investor can demonstrate his or her investment resulted in creating or preserving at least 10 permanent jobs in this country, they are then eligible to get a green card–a significant short cut over others seeking permanent residency.

Each year, officials say approximately 10,000 immigrant visas are made available to foreign investors and their eligible dependents, essentially providing a path to citizenship to those with money and connections. Those investors can choose where to invest on their own. More commonly, they pool their investment with those of other foreign investors and U.S. stakeholders within a “regional center.”

Applicants from China are said to account for more than 75 percent of the EB-5 visas.

Where has it sparked development?

A study by the Government Accountability Office found three out of four petitioners were investing or planning to invest in various types of real estate projects.

Those included hotels and resorts, commercial and mixed use real estate and residential developments. Much of the rest of the money went into infrastructure projects, such as railways and highways, or transportation, restaurants, medical and education facilities.

In testimony before the House Judiciary Committee in March, Angelique Brunner, founder of EB5 Capital, a regional center operator based in Bethesda, said her investment group has more than $400 million of assets under management on behalf of investors from over 50 countries and investments in five states and the District of Columbia.

“EB5 Capital’s investments have anchored more than $2.4 billion of development that has created more than 23,000 American jobs,” she testified.

The Trump Bay Street high rise in downtown Jersey City, a Kushner Companies property built with the help of EB-5 financing. (Jersey Journal photo)

What’s the picture in Jersey?

U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, which administers the visa program, does not provide state-by-state breakdowns of EB-5 funded projects, but said as of May 1, the agency had approved 883 regional centers, which are public or private organizations that pool foreign investor funds, often for multiple projects..

More than 90 of those centers operate at least in part in New Jersey, although many are based elsewhere.

According to Invest in the U.S.A., an industry trade association for the EB-5 Regional Center Program, $3 million was invested in New Jersey through regional centers in 2012, the association’s most recent data, and $5.6 million the previous year. Those numbers, though, represent only a small percentage of the development funding that has come from EB-5 investments in New Jersey.

Kushner Companies relied on $50 million in EB-5 funding for a Trump-branded luxury high-rise apartment known as Trump Bay Street, in Jersey City, which opened last year.

A second Jersey City project by Kushner Companies, which is also seeking foreign investment, generated a storm of controversy earlier this month. Kushner, who is married to Ivanka Trump and is now a senior advisor to the president, divested his interests in his family’s business after his father-in-law was elected. But his sister came under fire after a presentation in Beijing that used her brother’s name, in seeking new investors for the One Journal Square project in Jersey City. The company later apologized.

Where did the program go wrong?

Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.) said the EB-5 program was designed to bring jobs to underserved rural and urban communities, and for some time it did just that.

"But the program that exists today has strayed from these goals. It is a magnet for fraud," he told the House Judiciary Committee. "Securities violations are common. And the incentives that Congress created to promote investment in distressed areas have become obsolete due to economic gerrymandering."

Leahy noted that only 3 percent of EB-5 investors invest in rural areas and less than 10 percent invest in true high unemployment areas. He said almost every other EB-5 project use what is known as "gerrymandering" that join the tracts of a neighborhood considered prime territory for luxury housing with other neighborhoods plagued by substantial unemployment to qualify for a distressed area.

"The fact that a luxury hotel in Beverly Hills can use gerrymandering to claim it is located in a distressed community is troubling," said Leahy. "But the fact that this type of abuse now represents almost 90 percent of the entire EB-5 program is appalling. And an untold number of these luxury developments would be pursued regardless of EB-5 financing, casting doubt on whether the program is creating any jobs at all."

A lure for investment, or a vehicle for fraud?

But that stretching of the rules is just part of the problem, say critics, pointing to examples outright fraud involving phantom projects that exist only to provide visas.

The Securities and Exchange Commission in 2015 obtained a court order freezing the assets of a South Florida woman and her company, who were accused of purchasing a boat and luxury cars with money raised from investors seeking U.S. residency through the EB-5 program.

Earlier this year a Chicago developer was sentenced to three years in prison in connection with a scheme to defraud foreign investors out of millions of dollars in a failed hotel and convention center near O'Hare International Airport.

And just last month, the FBI raided a Los Angeles-area business over suspicions that a fund sought green cards for more than 100 Chinese investors for construction projects that were never built, said federal court filings. Authorities said at least three investors who obtained green cards through the program were fugitives wanted by the Chinese government.

David North of the Center for Immigration Studies, a Washington-based group that advocates significant reductions in immigration, said there is no need for an immigrant investor program.

"It is lodged in an agency that does not deal in high finance, and, of course, it involves the sale of visas to aliens who could not become U.S. immigrants in any other way," North told the House Judiciary Committee.

Trump recently extended the EB-5 program without making any changes urged by many in Congress. The White House says it is "evaluating wholesale reform of the EB-5 program to ensure that the program is used as intended and that investment is being spread to all areas of the country.''

#Golden Visa #Golden Visa Scam #Golden Visa Fraud

[haveclotheswilltravel]

Dress c/o* | Sandals | Sunglasses (similar)

Boy oh boy was I fortunate last week! While it was snowing and cold in Wisconsin, I was in Myrtle Beach with my family. While it wasn’t beach weather the entire time we were there, we did still get to soak up some sun for a couple days. (There are a couple bonus photos at the end of the post of my nephew’s first time playing in the ocean!)

This gingham dress was absolutely perfect for the occassion and weather. The fabric is very breathable and smooth. So, I was able to plop myself in the sand and easily brush off afterwards. It was great for the warm, breezy weather too. This dress is just long enough that I didn’t have to worry about any Maryilyn moments!

The closest I came to a wardrobe malfunction, haha.

And believe it or not, this is actually the first time I’ve ever worn a gingham dress. It was one of those patterns that I never really warmed up to (that and plaid). But I’ve been trying to come out of my little, style bubble.

So, I was very excited when my friends over at Unique Vintage sent me this dress, as I don’t think I would’ve actually have bought it for myself. However, I can already see I’ll be wearing it all summer long! I wore it three days straight on vacation, and only stopped wearing it because I spilled dip on myself. Haha. (Don’t worry OxiClean and the washing machine saved the day once I got home!)

Oh, and best of all, this dress has pockets! I love having pockets that I can throw my room key, cellphone, chapstick, etc. in when I’m on a trip. It’s also a great place to stuff my hands when the wind picks up!

I also wore my yellow cardigan with it if I got a little chilled at night. I’m seriously going to wear this cardigan to death one of these days…

Are you a fan of gingham? Or did it take you a little while to warm up to this print too? Let me know in the comments!

Where to find it:

Dress: c/o* Unique Vintage Sandals: Salt Water Sandals Sunglasses: Quay (similar) Cardigan: ModCloth

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*I wanted to show off how cute my nephew is too! This was his first time playing in the ocean, and he was just too darn adorable! I loved the shorts my sister-in-law bought for him too.

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*Disclosure: some of these links are affiliate links. Meaning, if you click a link and make a purchase, Have Clothes, Will Travel gets a very small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting the brands that make this blog possible! I am also a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

*c/o = courtesy of, meaning the company gave me the product to be used on my blog, and I did not pay for it. All opinions are my own, and I am not being compensated for a positive review.

Who's ready for summer? I've found the perfect dress in this blog post for when the weather finally warms up! Dress c/o* | Sandals | Sunglasses (similar) Boy oh boy was I fortunate last week! While it was snowing and cold in Wisconsin, I was in Myrtle Beach with my family.

#beach outfit #gingham shirtdress #salt water sandals #summer outfit #Unique Vintage

[prohealths]

What I’m Loving Lately 84

Disclosure: I’m proud to be working with CVS Pharmacy for their 2017 influencer relations program. All opinions expressed are my own, and all product claims or program details shared should be verified at CVS.com or with the appropriate manufacturers.

Hi, guys! Happy Hump Day!

I’m sharing my What I’m Loving Lately post a little early this week, and it includes quite the variety of things I’m loving lately—everything from the pug edition of Moana to CVS Curbside and everything in between! Ok, here we go!

Moana by Doug the Pug – We love Moana and, obviously, pugs in our house, so this tribute by Doug the Pug is phenomenal. I swear, we’ve watched it like 50 times now!

Dew Skin Tinted Moisturizer – I feel like I’ve tried every tinted moisturizer on the market, but they always end going on too matte for my liking. My skin tends to run dry in certain spots, so I used to use a regular moisturizer and then a tinted one over it. The Dew Skin combines the two into one product (woohoo!), and I lovveeee it. It actually leaves my skin with a luminous glow! It also has SPF 20 in it, so protects my skin from sun damage while proving a lightweight hydration that evens out my skin. And (!) black currant, peony flower root extract, and vitamin C in the product help to reduce the appearance of age spots and enhance skin brightness, while sodium hyaluronate promotes firmer, smoother-looking skin. Double-duty, baby! It’s the best product ever! FYI: I wear shade No. 1 in the colder months and shade No. 2 now that it’s warmer, and I have a bit more color to my skin.

One month of non-stop celebrations – Mother’s Day kicks off an entire month of celebrations. Next week (5/23) is Mal’s birthday, followed my Quinn’s (6/9), Murphy’s (6/14), my birthday (6/19), and Father’s Day (6/20). Also, mixed in there, is my sister-in-law’s birthday as well as Cousin Matthew and my father-in-law’s birthday at the end of June. And, ok, our 9th wedding anniversary is in early July! Second to Christmas, it’s my favorite time of year! Bring on ALL THE CELEBRATIONS!! FYI: Funfetti smoothie recipe (below) is coming to CNC next week!

Brooks Heritage Sneakers – Ok, you guys have seen these kicks on my blog a few hundred times now, but I’m sharing them again because… my favorite sneakers are going away!!!! Wahhh. That’s right, people. On June 1st, the Brooks Heritage Collection will be going back in the vault, so get ’em while they’re still in stock! A bunch of styles and colors are 40-50% off!

Does Skipping Breakfast Help with Weight Loss? – Super interesting piece from Chris Kresser. Maybe breakfast isn’t the most important meal of the day?

CVS Curbside Pickup – As you guys probably know, I’m a huge fan of CVS/pharmacy and have worked with the brand a number of times over the years. Well, they recently reached out to me about trying one of their digital services, including the CVS Pharmacy App, CVS Pay, CVS ExtraCare Rewards program, and CVS Curbside Pickup. My ears (well, technically, eyes) immediately perked up. I had no idea that they had a curbside pickup option and, hello, how convenient would that be with a little one? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to swing by CVS real quick to buy something, but didn’t want to go through the hassle of bringing Qman inside with me. Not that he’s a hassle at all, but it’s SO MUCH EASIER to shop without a little guy in tow. Long story short, CVS Curbside Pickup is lifesaver when it comes to dominating my errands!

How Curbside Pickup Works:

Buy items from a nearby store using the CVS Pharmacy app or online. I used the CVS Pharmacy app, but you can order online too– everything from health and beauty items, snacks, and any other non-prescription household essentials.

CVS sends you a text when your order is ready for pickup.

Drive to CVS and park near the store entrance. Then, someone from CVS brings your order to you. The app notifies CVS when you arrive, so you just let them know by replying “HERE” to their text.

Your order is hand-delivered right to you. Not only do you save time by not shopping in-store and skipping the checkout line, a CVS employee brings your order right to the car. You don’t even need to get out!

Just the other day, we ran out of toothpaste, so I used the CVS Pharmacy app to place my order for the curbside service. I also sent Mal a quick WhatsApp message to see if he needed anything. He did, so I added deodorant to the list. The app actually told me that they were on sale for buy one, get one 50% off, so I ordered two since I know Mal would use them.

It’s so easy! And I love that you can still take advantage of the awesome deals and savings from CVS when you order through the app or online. It’s really such a great service and a serious time-saver!

CVS Curbside Pickup is now available in 40 major markets across the US, including many locations in Boston, New York City, Philadelphia, Houston, Los Angeles, Chicago, Phoenix, Dallas, Seattle and Washington, DC. For specific store locations, customers can use the CVS Curbside Pickup store finder in the app or online to check local availability.

A quick shout-out to Jason from the Norwell location, who was so friendly and accommodating when I asked him if I could snap some photos for the blog. He actually thought the whole blog thing was really cool and asked if I could include him in one of my photos! Thank you, Jason, for being such a good sport and ambassador for the curbside service!

Quinn turning 3 – I’m a little sad that my baby is growing up so quickly, but I love this almost-3 age so much. He’s so darn cute. And funny. I love watching him learn and discover new things. He sings the Alphabet and Itsy-Bitsy Spider songs with us every night before bed. He gets so happy and proud when he remembers the lyrics. He likes to use crayons and markers, and he’s starting to write his name. (Check out his Qs in the photo below!) Quinn is also starting to try some new foods (he’s obsessed with hummus lately) and going out to restaurants isn’t the nightmare that it used to be. Ha! He has a best friend at school and talks about him all the time. Funny side story: Quinn’s best friend’s name is Blake. At pickup the other day, Mal asked Quinn to say goodbye to everyone in the classroom before they left. Quinn says: “Bye, Blake!” and then turns around and leaves. Haha! The two of them have a serious bromance. Anyway, I know I’m just rambling, but I wanted to remember these things because I just love this age so much. I can’t believe he’s going to be three so soon!

QuestionS of the Day

Have you ever used the curbside service at CVS?

Have you ever used any other curbside service? 

P.S. Local followers: Next week, on Tuesday, May 23rd at 6:30PM, Lululemon at the Derby Street Shoppes is hosting a POUND® class. Instead of listening to music, become the music in this exhilarating full-body workout that combines cardio, conditioning, and strength training with yoga and pilates-inspired movements. POUND® Icons and lululemon ambassadors Cassie Burke-Martinson and Jenny Anania will get you moving with heart-pounding Fun. This is a one hour outdoor class to celebrate kicking off summer the right way! Space is limited so sign up to reserve your spot!

The post What I’m Loving Lately 84 appeared first on Carrots ‘N’ Cake.

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[anonsally]

Photos from Day 9 and the morning of Day 10 of Australia vacation

Top 3 rows: beach walk at Dora Point in Humbug Point Nature Recreation Area. The orange lichen on the rocks made a gorgeous contrast with the blue water, and we also met a very round crab.

Row 4: Pyengana dairy had some pretty good cheddar, and you could look down into the aging cellar.

Rows 5-6: driving to our accommodations at sunset, we passed many wallabies!

Row 7: morning view from the bedroom; view during wine tasting.

#personal #travel #photography #cheese #wildlife #full disclosure: some of these photos are by sister in law