#fuck im imaginging that now

[eiraeths]

in the medically discharged soap au im working on i wanna make him have dysautonomia. like he loses his left leg below the knee thats gotta fuck with your ans somehow. plus i have dysautonomia and i think the way it interacts with the pns and sns would be cool to explore not cool but like good?? not good its bad but like i want to inflict pain and having a disorder that makes your autonomic nervous system suck paired with ptsd which makes your nervous system hyperactive theres gotta be something there. does this make sense? i probably need to write this down in a clear way before i actually implement it into the story

#and do more research on losing a limb #ive got the recovery time and general process written down for it #but none of the various complications that come with it #i will find a way to give soap dysautonomia #i think i could definitely give him oh and it work well as a complication #do you guys think i could text my cardiologist and neurologist and be like heyyy wanna give me a crash course for a fanfic #LOL #fuck im imaginging that now #they’re both late 20’s early 30’s they definitely know what fanfiction is #soap cod #john soap mactavish #soap call of duty #fic rambles #medically discharged soap au

[godfistgonnalive]

please ramble as hard as you can about pruita I need to hear what you have to say about them

grabs you by the shoulders very roughly.

ok. my favorite flavor of pruita is utterly unrequited. cuz its very funny to me. my fav thing to do is listen to music and think about unrequited pruita like L imagine 😹😹but also its kind of sad and i like how its sad but also funny

like think about the prussia cleaning game like omg.... he loves him.... its so silly.......

PRUSSIA STROKED IN HAPPINESS! WHAT THE FUCK! GAY!

and he literally was imaginging them like together on some sort of boat idk what its called like ugh

and the fucking BLOG. ive already posted these before but. my god.

he likes him so much....... its unbelievable........

like are you serious. he so very obviously has a crush on him THERES SO MUCH PROOF OF IT AND [im trying to restrain myself here from being salty about prucan shippers so i will stop myself here.]

ok im racking my brain to try and think of what to say rn cuz as much as i say i wanna talk about my ships i know deep down in my heart i dont have much to say that i can turn into coherent thoughts.

back to my thoughts and not canon content. unrequited pruita. like ok you know that hetalia itself is just gerita fanfiction. like i love gerita. who doesnt. and thats where it comes in in my version of pruita. like prussia is so in love with italy and italys like omggg germanyyyy :3 like. oh my gfod can i talk about the songs i associate with them. the answer is yes i cant be stopped.

ok puppy princess by hot freaks. fucking UGH. unrequited big fat crush ANTHEM right here.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. prussia is the goofy friend... prussia loves italy...... and italy loves germany........ my goodness.........

NO OTHER HEART BY MAC DEMARCO. THIS IS LITERALLY PRUITA.

i love gerita truth pruita so much but not in the love triangle way like i mean thats what it sounds like but its more like a fucked up triangle like

it doesnt connect all the way... cuz in love triangles dont they usually like compete!>>! like prussia loves italy but in my pruita brain he wouldnt like.. actually really try to get with italy while he knew that germany was trying to get with him.... you know.... he wouldnt do that to his brother..... so he just keeps his crush to himself.... rip.... and thats the fun of it ! ! ! he yearns but he'll never have him... love that

LOVERS ROCK. BY TV GIRL. THIS ONE LYRIC. JESUS CHRIST.

TRYING TO SELL YOU SOMETHING THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE. UGH.

AND LOOKING OUT FOR YOU BY JOY AGAIN. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.

IM GONNA GO CRAZY!

and peach scone. by hobo johnson.

ltierally every time... prussia calls italy cute.... god......

now. onto requited pruita.

i think theyre silly cute so much so much :3 :3 :3 hold on gotta check pixiv so i can formulate thoughts. ok like i mostly think about prussia's side of things when it comes to required pruita but in my opinion prussia is CRAZY about that man. jesus christ. and italy thinks hes super silly and loves him 🫶🫶🫶 HOLD ON I SHOULD FILL OUT ONE OF THOSE UNDERSTAND NMY SHIP THINGS HOLD ONNNNNN

got a little lazy but you understand.

i think thats all i have to say . i feel like i didnt really say much just put images and then said something along the lines of "jesus christ" or "what the fuck" but i think you undestand. thank you for asking. PEACE AND LOVE!

ALSO WAIT I HAVE MORE. i LOVE gerita marriage. they are so married. and i love thinking about prussia watching the boy hes had a big fat crush on for god knows how long get married to his brother. LMAO! and hes like crying like hes happy for his brother,... but oh man........ LMAOOOOO

i love prussia so much. make him suffer now

ok thanks for reading :heart:

edit:i just realized onm the height thing onm the ship chart i forgot to put 6 CM and instead put 6 M. oops

#pruita #hetalia #owls nonsense #IM INSANEEE IM INSANEEEEEE

[sad-weiying]

I thought ur teen years were supposed to be the years filled with rage but the older i get the angrier i become

Ok so this might get me in trouble but im well past the point of caring by now since no one else around here seems to have the balls to say it so im just gonna rant

Im angry. I’m angry that our fandom spaces are being taken over by this crowd who missed fandom orientation by like a decade.

Do you guys even realise you’ve been violently invading and overriting spaces that have already existed way before you ever got your hands on a smarphone? Places with their own codes of conduct, created by people who were already here years before you? Places you only get to enjoy because those you are speaking over and putting down fought for and created them themselves?

It is not your place to dictate any rules in fandom spaces, and it is not your place to try to guilt fans into changing their experiences for your own headcanons from yout fake-ass moral high ground.

Do your own thing.

Stop trying to make everyone else submit to what you think should be the ‘new and improved canon’ of things.

You black Hermione and desi Harry headcanons are fine. Draw them and write them to your heart’s content! But you did not write Harry Potter.

You are a fan. And you do not get to guilt the rest of the fandom into subscribing to your headcanon to the point of normalising a warped version of canon that most new fans wouldn’t recognise.

Your trans kurapika headcanon is fine. We’re here to headcanon to our heart’s content. But you did not write Hunter x Hunter.

You are a fan.

And before you come at me with ‘problematic’ on your toungue, maybe stop to consider why it is ok for you to rob someone else of their comfort character because you want them for yourself. Consider if you’re fine with someone taking your Garnet, your Korra, your Asami, your Alluka, hell, the entire cast of ATLA and LOK, and having them be so warped beyond the character you love and identify with in the minds of the entire fandom that you’re suddenly not sure if they’re even the same characters you found so much comfort in, just because someone decided their headcanon was more morally appealing and had enough presence in the fandom to normalise it by claiming those characters ‘improved’ from the canon you so much loved.

If someone decided alluka would be improved by being a cis gay boy would you, trans girl, not feel slighted that your connection to her, through your own gender identity, was being considered lesser than?

Would you not feel slighted, black girl, if someone were to decide garnet as a light skinned asian would be an improvement to her character and fuck canon, we’re doing this now?

Those were mere examples that came to mind. They are many other facets of characters that have been tampered with in a fandom-wide manner in all sorts of ways in the name of moral improvement.

I’m not here to talk representation folks. Im a lesbian, i get it. And god knows i headcanon away canon on a regular basis myself. But those headcanons are all they are. MY headcanons. I am aware that what i am imaginging is not the character that the creator has made and it is not the character other folks hold so dear.

I am also not talking about color. If ya’ll north americans and europeans would get your collective brain cell to look down for one second, you’d realize there’s an entire hemisphere of fans below you, and that race is a much more subjective topic than you guys could ever dream for the rest of the world.

I am brazilian. Technically, by US standards, i am considered latina. Poc, right? I am also as pale as every harry potter character ive mentioned. I’m also blue eyed and originally blond before i dyed my hair dark in an attempt to fit better into my country’s standard of beauty.

Which is not ‘pale wilting flower of a white girl’.

Would you look at that: race is also not as objective as yall think.

Right so yall are gonna call me racist and transphobic anyways, i know the drill, but i hope if you take away nothing else from this, at least you remember that there once was a little pale girl in Brazil whose only solace from bullying from darker-skinned, prettier peers and friends and family constantly insisting on having her get a tan and insisting her light hair was too boring were the foreign strangers who looked like her on a screen, and who were also considered strong and pretty and perfect just as they were by so many people over the world.

TL;DR: Canon is not yours. Stop shutting anyone whos ok with a character being white in canon bc ‘racism’, stop yelling at anyone whos ok with a character not being queer or poc or whatever else in canon and remember you did not get here first. Go headcanon with your friends. Go ask an older fan how to conduct yourself in these spaces. Learn to be a better fan.

#yea im #im tired #my old bones just aint the same #it gets too much seeing my skin color get trashed to hell and back not just in my own country #but also everywhere else where i thought id found acceptance #i just want to be a fan #like we used to before #thats all #shut up bella #long post

[the-angry-pixie]

DVD commentary fic thing: You're Weird, Wheeler, from "It doesn’t happen though." to "I guessed. An educated guess. But a guess all the same.” Because yaaaaaay, slowburn! (Insert that gif of Elmo with fire behind him here)

(For the DVD commentary ask meme - still taking requests btw)

This passage is taken from You’re Weird Wheeler - and so obviously, spoilers for that story if you haven’t read it.

It doesn’t happen though. Will returns to him at the bar. Mike still feels queerly deflated though. They have a few more drinks and then they head home.

“I wouldn’t have gone with him you know…” 

Will slurs only slightly. It’s later that night and Mike is sitting on his assigned bed applying moisturiser to his feet. His heels have a tendency to get really, really dry overnight.

Fun fact: I spent so much time trying to decide what Mike should be doing in this scene. I knew I wanted him to be sitting on the bed and I just felt like he should be DOING something. I have no idea whether this is a thing guys do. But I landed on applying moisturiser to feet cause thats something *I* do before going to bed. Ha ha. 

Mike looks up and gives him a questioning glance.

“Benji” Will clarifies, “I wouldn’t have gone home with him. Not while you’re here. I just want to be with you when you’re here.” 

This is Will throwing out some bait, trying to see if Mike will take it. How he will react. That emphasis he puts on being with Mike over anyone else is his way of saying “im here, im yours, are you too thickheaded to realise that??”

“Oh. Right. That’s good.” Mike smiles up at where his friend appears to be swaying to imaginary music, his fingers clutched around a glass of water.

Suddenly Will is bouncing down on the bed next to him.

“Ya know. You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

I decided to make Will confident in this story. Borderline cocky. By this point he has a very strong idea that Mike might be into guys. Might be into *him*. And so like this moment. This is him just taking that last lunge for the both of them. Sick of the dancing around it. They’ve been doing that for the last few days. And if at the beginning of Mike’s visit he wasn’t quite sure, now he’s almost positive.

“I wasn’t jealous” Mike replies immediately. 

Water slops over the edge of the glass as Will holds both his hands up in surrender.

“Ok I retract. Sulky then. You’re cute when you’re sulky.”

Mike is blushing. He can’t help it. He should really be drinking water too. Blood and alcohol are pulsing through his veins, rendering his brain-to-mouth function slightly useless. Before he can think better of it he’s responding “You think I’m cute?”

Will seems to pause and look at him then. His lips curling into a impish smile as his head bobs up and down slowly in a nod.

Was it hot in here? It was as if Mike could feel the sweat pooling into the collar of his nightshirt as he plucks at it nervously.

“Truth be told…” Mike’s head whips back up as Will continues to muse. Irritatingly casual. He is looking at his glass of water as though its a snow globe. As though the precipitation beading on the outside of it is a thing of beauty. “… I think you’re fucking sexy.”

His eyes slowly slide from the small droplets of water back to Mike’s shocked face. And there must have been something that he is seeking. Something he finds in Mike’s eyes - because he smiles. And Mike can’t help but groan.

I love this part. It’s just such a departure from the shy, slightly awkward Will that was in the beginning of this story. *This* Will is fully confident in his sexuality. In his sexual allure. And he knows his best friend. He knew he just had to search Mike’s face after saying something as *forward* as that to get his answer. And he got it. Which is why he smiles. I just really love it. 

“Don’t say things like that…” Mike croaks, his throat dry and his blood buzzing.

The smile grows into a chesire grin. “Why not?”

“Because” Mike only takes an eighth of a moment to bother with hesitation, “because then I have to do this.”

“An eighth of a second to bother with hesitation” - i like that because i feel like it bucks that trope of searching each others faces slowly leaning in before having a first kiss. Will has been brave and laid out his cards. And now Mike is going to do the same without hesitation.

And they are kissing. The water glass drops to the floor with a thud as hot lips crash against hot lips. As gasps are sucked from one mouth into another. Hands gripping hair. More hands bunching up sleepshirts. 

Mike pushes Will down against the bed and feels a little put out when Will giggles with the action. Like he knew this was going to happen. He kisses him fiercely in retaliation, his body climbing over Will’s slighter form. All the better to feel everything as he lowers his body down to lie deliciously against every inch of his friend’s.

I liked making Mike a bit miffed with Will’s apparent self-satisfaction. It just seemed like a real boys-y, best friend, rivalry sort of reaction. Which is important for me to keep as a foundation of Will and Mike’s relationship at all times.

This pulls a moan from Will who interrupts the kiss to throw his head to the side and pant, his hands rubbing over Mike’s lower back. He looks up at Mike angelically as he proceeds to grab two handfuls of Mike’s ass and grind his hips up into Mike’s undeniable erection.

I get the feeling that Will is trying to show off in some regard here. To show Mike that he isn’t some delicate flower. That he’s a sexual being and he WILL NOT be shy about it. 

Mike’s breath hitches and his arms tremble where they are standing as unsteady columns either side of Will’s head.

“You fuck” he pants. “How did you know?”

This gives Will pause. He lets go of Mike’s ass and smoothes his hands back up to the middle of his back.

“I, I didn’t know” his eyes blink widely, and he sounds almost completely sober. “I– well… I hoped. I’ve kind of hoped for years… but I didn’t, well– I didn’t know for sure. I guessed. An educated guess. But a guess all the same.”

And all of a sudden the cockiness just slides away from Will. Its no longer important for him to be smug or “victorious”. He doesn’t want Mike thinking this is just some meaningless game to him. He wants Mike to understand the context. That this was truly a gamble for him. That he’s not arrogant enough to think Mike was just going to fall to his knees. This moment is the culmination of a lot of time spent agonising and wondering if he was just imaginging things. Or being too hopeful for something that he’d desired since childhood. He was *not* sure. He hoped. And he put trust in his friend and his instincts and just hoped he wouldn’t fall. 

And thats that. Thanks Gwen. That was fun! :)

#serendipitous-magic #pixie writes #byeler #stranger things #meme things

[shadymultiverse]

Im asleep.

Two knocks and my door slides open, fast.

Im ripped into an unstable reality from a deep sleep. My brothers booming voice, my name. A demand.

Ive left the key in my coat pocket and now im being punished.

I sleep naked, stupid to be vulnerable. At least he closes the door when he realizes.

Hes ranting at me while i try to grip life from the death practice I was just in. He doesnt say the words stupid or fuck up, but I feel them at the edge of every snappy thing he says.

I want to scream for him to go away and let me wake up.

It would just enrage him more. I imaginge picking up the nearest object and obliterating him with it, the promise of prison is too much to bare.

I stumble through getting dressed.

Am I listening?

I find the keys and the card and take them to the clock.

An honest mistake makes me feel like im drowning.

I forgot to make lunches but the boxes were sti in the fridge, but im worthless for assuming that, like every other day, the one left on the floor was mine to fill and the one in the fridge was already done.

They act like i never do anything. They expect my work every day without breaking. The house is never clean enough the dishes never done, the food not quite up to par. I feel endless in my emptiness.

They take the card because I dont deserve it any more. Nothing surprising there.

They arent my parents but they control my life.

I dont know how I ended up a slave again.

I need to get out. Im suffocating. My chest is aching and my head is drowning. I think about dying more and more. I need to get out. I need to get out.

[michaelmullet-blog]

I honestly cant beleive it,

You did these things for these people and they just what? They threw somthing like that away? Hearing the things you did for people i honestly dont understand, Like to me you sound fucking amazing like actually like to good to be fucking true like this is all one big dream, Like Running a bath for me and making it all pretty and smell nice and EVEN getting my fav drink out and getting me a glass?! like honestly You could do that once a year for me and i woudl be set for fucking life, then all the other things you said? I fucking mean it, If you woudl say yes i would marry you on the spot, You are such a fucking amazing person and all these people are to blind to understand you and to fucking blind to seee how fucking much they lost out on, You are so fucking considerate and kind to people like you telling me how you look after me if im sick like even cuddling in bed i can imaginge it now, ive got a mirgrane and we just switch off all the lights and you be the big spoon and just look after me like fuck, Thats the shit i want, 

And beyond the nice things you would do irl, you are just a fucking amazing person you are so kind and smart and you always know the right shit to say, like i have an unquie understanding of you and everyone has no1 idea what they are missing out on, I guess what i want to say is you are beyond good enough you are prefect

fingers crossed on you actually not hating me irl,

Fuck i love you. Legit tho Marry me?

[madexsplosivespontaneity]

30 aug 14th 2018

Initially when i imaginged what id be doing where id be living the life i would have built for myself by now it was not this reality. Sadly social media makes you unintentionally compare your life to others. House, kids, establiahed.

Well.

Thats not me. Im striggling pay check to paycheck, renting out my parents basement with the love of my life. Im just beginning. Still at 30

Some days im proud of the things im blessed with a happy relationship, lovely parents and sister. Beautiful intelligent nephew.

Thats my support system.

But what about me. When can i build and grow a home of my own. Finanically in the dmv it feels impossible.

Another day another dollar given.

Stuck tuck

Helpless little girl.

Crying for now.

Am 30

Dosnt even sound right..

Honestly im dissappinted in myself for the what ifs i wish and pray for when my presence isnt that horrible.

Its childish for me to be so down on myself when i have things some dont.

Trying to be that proud lion. But feeling like a cowardly mouse alone in a dark dungeonn of a basement.

Happy fucking birthday

30 blues...

[sanchoki]

today i found out you were gone from this world. im so so sorry i didn't learn about this until weeks later. i miss you so fucking much. i keep rereading our messages in your voice, imaginging your smile. i don't believe in an afterlife, but god, i hope i'm wrong. i hope you are up there now, finally free.

#b.w

[lil-satan-ccdoodles]

I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING

WHAT IF EVERYTIME AN "ALTER" OF A YOUTUBER WAS MADE IT WAS A BABY SO BASICALLY NOW THERE JUST LOUD CURSING TODDLERS WHO ARE JUST SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER BECAUSE IT JUST "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CANT PLAY WITH KNIFES I WNAT THE KNIFE" OR "ITS A GUN ILL BE FINE *SHOTS DARK IN THE LEG* OR NOT" THIS IS IN CAPS BECAUSE IM ACTUALLY SCARED OF SHORT KIDS SO BASICALLY IMAGINGING ADORABLE SHORT MENICING KIDS IS LIKE REALLY CREEPING ME OUT I DONT LIKE PEOPLE SHORTER THAN ME IT MAKES ME UNCONFORTABLE AND ITS OFTEN CAUSE I WAS TOLD I WOULD BE 6 FT AND I GOT LOST IN 8TH GRADE ON A FLOOR FULL OF 7TH/6TH GRADERS THEY WHERE ALL LIKE AT MY HIP OR LOWER I ENDED UP GOING UPSTAIRS FOR DIRECTIONS TO MY CLASS CAUSE THEY SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME BUT SERIOUSLY IMAGING THIS MENICING DARKIPLIER AS A KID LIKE "I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL WILFORD" "AND I HAVE A GUN" ALRIGHT THATS ALL BUT NO SERIOUSLY THIS WOULD PROBABLY SCARE ME MORE THAN SCARY 6TH GRADERS CAUSE BY DEFINITION THERE DEMONS MAN I WANNA BE A DEMON MAYBE THEN I COULD ACTUALLY LIVE UP TO THE THING I JOKE ABOUT BEING THE HEIR TO HELL LOL ALRIGHT THATS ALL (ignore my short rambles or not so short since i talk alot even if im the shYEST PERSON YOULL EVER MEET LIKE I ACTUALLY DIDNT TALK IN CLASS WHEN I WAS LITTLE FOR LIKE 3 YEARS CAUSE I WAS SO TERRIFIED I'D FUCK UP LIKE THE DAY I ACTUALLY TALKED IN CLASS WAS THE DAY MY MOM HUGGED A TEACHER alright imma actuallu go cause its like 4:57 am like i need to sleep but i cant cause i dont want a weird ass dream about macaroni or some thing like that [i actually dreamt about macaroni once like it was everywhere it was slightly terrorfing cause it was like the mase from harry potter but like just boxes of macaroni everywhere i ended up eating macaroni that day it was also my birthday and i dont think ive ever been so scared of macaroni in my life lol] alright imma actually go now this has gon on for like 6 minutes idk its like now 4:59 am alright bye)