#frenetic energy i guess? and i KNOW that's just the anxiety brain responding to stimulants but like

[sureuncertainty]

constantly worried that the medication i take for my ADHD is actually hurting me bc i’m faking having ADHD and if it’s not acting in a very specific way, and if i feel certain side effects i’m faking and abusing stimulants :///

#win rambles #like.... it doesn't necessarily make me calmer.... it clears my head and helps me focus but sometimes it does give me a bit of like.... #frenetic energy i guess? and i KNOW that's just the anxiety brain responding to stimulants but like #i'm just like shit this means i'm abusing them bc i have these side effects and they make my insomnia worse #it's why i stopped taking the XR version but i might go back to it bc it was really nice to have it working more #but it did make it really hard for me to sleep so idk #idk like sometimes i can REALLY FEEL the meds working like i can feel it in my brain and kind of in my body and so i'm like shit #idk there's so much gatekeeping i saw a thread about it on twitter that at first made me feel better #bc ppl were tlaking about how they respond to meds in some similar ways that i do #and one person was like oh for me it just makes me calmer and kinda tired and i can focus more #and someone responded to them and was like yes that's because you REALLY have ADHD unlike all these FAKERS in this thread that are just #abusing stimulants #and it doesn't help that i had multiple people tell me to be careful not to be addicted #including a friend with a caffeine addiction and i'm like wow you're one to talk asdoihasfoihasdf #but like idk i went back to a really low dose for the past couple days and like.... i didn't have like withdrawal or anything? #i just had less executive function and it sucked #idk part of me wants to try different meds but these help me and they make me happy bc my brain seems to be working better #but then i'm like what if it's not #idk i overthink it so much #hence me typing out this long ass post and the other posts i've done today #THAT'S THE THING LIKE. I'M ON MY MEDS RN AND I'M WRITING BUT I'M ALSO TALKING ABOUT A LOT OF STUFF #AND I'M LIKE SHIT I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE JUMPING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN STUFF LIKE THIS I MUST BE FAKING ADHD #i hate it #anyway if any of my followers who also take adhd meds (i'm on adderall) wanna chat about their experiencesf #or just like idk remind me that this is fine and normal and side effects don't mean i'm faking??? #that would be really nice #i literally have a professional diagnosis hence the fact that i'm ON medication #but like i still worry about it #adhd stuff