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#fluff stories dont need conflict! conflict is stressful
yellowocaballero · 1 year
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hi! I was winding down after school stuff and rereading some of the reverse Batman au (awesome by the way. You understand so many things) and am I tripping or did u make a Batman fic rec post a while ago? I can’t find it, but it’s also been a long time. I crave the sustenance. Also I honestly didn’t realize it’s literally been three years until you pointed it out in your newest fic (Incredible btw) guess I can finally officially declare myself a long time fan. Cheers!!
HAH Hello thank you for being a long time reader! That story certainly reads like it was written a long time ago...I put up the Cass story just so I could love the AU on a more adept note jkaljd. That being said, I'm now thinking about The Secret Life Of Jason Todd, so....
I can't find the post either :(. I think it was a rec lists specifically for good Tim Drakes, and as a result it was extremely skimpy. Literally, it was just Chirp by Amari_T, The Bat's Crest, and Red Raven (the most bonkers fanfic ever written, and one of my favorites). I have a lot more Batman fanfics in general I like, but most of them escape me now - it's mostly classics, like lowflyingfruit's stuff.
Every so often when I need fuel in my tank to go back to writing The Stupidest Magnum Opus Of All Time, I crack open the Batfam fanfic and plow through a bunch. I am then angry enough that I tackle my fic again and produce the best fic I've ever written in my life.
To be a little less negative (for once.), I do want to highlight something specific - All I Have by Janie_Loops is a really nice story, and although a LOT of stories try to do what it does, it's one of the few ones that succeeds. It helps that it's a series of snapshot chapters, which relieves you from having to do a lot of plotting (shoves someone will remember us under the bed), but there's a lot of reasons why it works. Each chapter is very much Bruce vs. Something, whether it's one of his kids or the JL or The World. The conflicts are baby sized, but they always feel very big and World Ending to Bruce, no matter the actual conflict. Everything is equally sized in this story, from the intra-baby problems to the Justice League issues. Bruce's characterization is very consistent and he's reliably forced to grow and change over the course of the fic. And every kid has a stand-out personality (that's so grounded - I was totally Jason!) that creates specific dynamics with each other, they all have different relationships and favorites between each other and Bruce, and their bond is a family is shown not through, like, bonding moments, but how they tackle problems together and how they're always on the same side. It's also deeply funny.
I think the author's a kiddo (who takes suggestions from their baby brother - ADORABLE), and there's still some ways for them to grow in prose and technical skill and a few other things like that. But even if the writer's a relative beginner writer, and you can see where they'll grow, you immedietly understand when reading that this person understands how a story works. That's way, way more important than having beautiful prose. I'm just saying all of this to hopefully demonstrate that, as writers, technical skill and prose will happen naturally with enough work & reading. Don't stress about that. Prose isn't what makes your story enjoyable and a good read. It's if you get what makes a story go. Everything else can come in time.
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craw-dacious · 5 months
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The things I did by Lolo-ro fic review
Chapter by chapter, until i got distracted by the story lol.
Still fairly new to marauders but am loving it.
summary review: I truly adored this fic, probably my fave Wolfstar so far. I thought the worldbuilding was fantastic, as well as the characterization of baby Harry. Fairly angsty, but with plenty of fluff to make up for it. The raising Harry idea is becoming one of my favorite tropes, and this fic did an amazing job of weaving parenthood into a world that is still filled with complexities and evil, as well as lives outside of the main characters.
SPOILERS BELOW BEWARE
Chapter One
Again, the aftermath for Remus is getting me
So so so sad, and him believing Sirius innocent  makes it worse
The traitor shit is horrible to deal with emotionally im sure
I am upset to realize just how much remus ignored harry in the books/canon
Like thats ur nephew fr come onnnn
Chapter Two
Aw he’s doing a good job as a dad
This fic is making him out to be very forgetful, fully forgot about both harry and Sirius
The pacing is much more clear in this which I enjoy quite a bit
Cutesy Christmas, cutesy harry
ALSO I LOVED THE HAGRID MOMENT
I do feel like we need to get the Weasleys involved tbh baby Ron and Harry is PEAK
Chap 3
Pls dont let that annoying ass bitch be important, if theyre in trouble bc of this shit ill kms
Shut up Hagrid he needs everything he wants his parents ARE dead brother
Okay actually I like that annoying ass bitch a lot, this is very good
I guess he actually is spoiling him tbf
Ok so he’s actually forgetful as fuck. Forgot Harry’s birthday, forgot about Sirius AGAIN.
Like actually what is going on is his brain damaged
This chapter has been depressing
The fight IN AZKABAN how will this turn into legit wolfstar if they are so mad they fight WHILE SIRIUS IS IMPRISONED
But also he didn’t talk to a single person for 12 years in canon im gonna kms
Marauders is making me realize just how shitty and sad canon was bruh, remus and Sirius were like ALONE, obvie remus did shit and wasn’t a complete waste but its just so SAD
OKAYYYY I TOLD Y’ALL I LOVE A GOOD MOODY MOMENT
Literally obsessed with alastor moody he’s so fucking cool and we BARELY KNEW HIM in the books because of FUCKING CROUCH
This chapter was incredible, good baby harry, good angst, good FIGHT (love romantic arguments, make me nostalgic) (imy [REDACTED] we fought so cutey)
Ok I think I complained earlier about this, but it’s important for there to be conflict and issues when there’s this much trauma. Great plot choice. Also makes it 20x more interesting
Fuck Peter. I fucking hate Peter.
Chapter 4
Ugh stupid muggles messing everything up
Someone should try to kill them all off or something idk they’re getting in the way
But this is shaping up to have some LEGAL ISSUES which I LOVE because im a fucking NERD <33333
Harry is so cute. I actually prefer this to the last baby Harry bc he has sm more personality.
Almost forgot the meat of this chapter omg its good im getting distracted
Sirius and Harry together was a NEED bruh actually so cute
And I talked to you kate about this earlier but remus has been different in other fics and I do kinda like him in this one, he’s more depressed and stressed than normal, but the forgetfulness almost lends itself to aloofness in a way that fits him
I very much appreciated him being so kind to Sirius. While I understand him being pissed at him for thinking he’s a traitor, the man is in Azkaban, like you’ve got to chill out, talk to him about this stuff when you have more than 15 minutes and less dementors
Anyway that scene was nice, I like the idea of their little family
Chappy 5
Good shit again
THIS is the perfect chapter length, not so long I forget what happens but no so short I have to stop reading every five seconds to review
The werewolf prejudice is a big thing in this fic, im not sure how I feel about it. Obviously from an equality standpoint, werewolves should be seen as human. Yet, there is something to the idea that the actual transformed wolf is very dangerous. I’m worried the wolfsbane study will be viewed as Remus “hiding himself” or something like that, when it should be viewed as a solution to the one thing holding werewolves back.
This can’t be compared to real life discrimination. You can’t be like “so you hate minorities” because none of the minorities I know turn into wolves once a month bruh
Anyway, Dumbledore being morally grey-ish, making mistakes but always anti-voldy. He’s such an interesting character. I like his presence in the book as well. Hagrid should come back soon he’s so nice.
Chap 6
Permanent pass <3, so cute. Having to abandon muggle friends? Not cute. Fuck Dumbledore, but only like a little
Not a dumby stan or hater tbh hes just a little silly in both directions
I’m so conflicted on this situation. Yes, it SUCKS that Sirius thought remus was the spy, but it’s not necessarily damning. It’s likely he convinced himself of it because it was the most painful option so it must’ve been the truth. It seems like fear, almost, and jealousy of the wolves over him? Might be over analyzing and overomanticizing but that is what im seeing atm.
The teaching position goes fucking CRAZY man, If remus was my history teacher my life would be GOLDEN
Do you think remus lupin would be a good addition to upper H hall yes or no
Chapter 7
Jesus fuck I forget how sad all this shit is sometimes
To begin with, the teaching position seems great. I do wish Remus would understand that he’s qualified for it
Speaking of teachers, I would love to see who the DADA teacher is, I know its not permanent but still fun
Anyway, I think 7 kids would be the end of me. I love children, and I still relate to Remus far more than Arthur in that scene, there’s actually no fucking way.
Like yes give me a shot I cannot do it, the strong drink joke was a good cover because I am sure its Arthurs greatest desire
Also, love him just dropping interest about muggles, would love to see that chat actually play out but it seems unimportant
But maybe it’ll be how he catches worm tail …
Azkaban visit was good, Sirius is being less racist, and Remus is being kind. Wish they would love each other again already but slow burn wins <3
Also you could just tell that Sirius missed harry, very cute
Chapter 8
Heart hurts, poor Sirius 
I said that remus should be nicer
Chapter 9
Okay, information has been gained
Sorry for short 8 summary
So Sirius FORGOT that he and remus broke up, which is CRAZY
There’s a whole lot of forgetting in this fic im realizing, very relatable
I would actually kill myself
I’m sitting here pondering how I would react in this situation and genuinely tweaking just imagining it
He needs to go break it off with him, he can explain, there’s not really another option for him. If he maintains this it’s going to end poorly. I’m assuming he’s going to do that anyway, as it creates the most drama and is fantastic for the plot
I do think Remus is underestimating the importance of being taken even somewhat seriously by the Wizengamot. I know it’s not what he fully wanted but it’s legitimate progress.
Chapter ten
WHAT DID I SAY HE’S NOT GONNA TELL HIM
This chapter INFURIATED ME
Also im gonna start skipping chapters bc otherwise the review will be long asf
Snape is a piece of work, obviously. Like Remus isn’t being shitty to you and you were a fucking death eater man. Also he despises children which is a red fucking flag
Just let him pet your stupid cat motherfucker
Unless its secretly regulus as an animagus that would be sick asf I saw fan art the other day where he was a cat and it was good
Moving on, im appreciating the slow burn on discovering Peter. Like they easily could have discovered him 3 chapters ago when remus was first there. 
Chapter 11 & 12
The enchanted parchment
Leaving him on delivered is crazy actually
Literally reads exactly like the GHP texts between me and [REDACTED] LMAO
“I guess I’ll talk to you later, assuming you’re at soccer, imy!!”
Actually devastated reading this im going to be honest
Lots of shit going down, forgetting and memory issues are such an interesting plot device, it makes any part of the story unreliable, and confuses the reader just a little bit. It also creates a lot of dramatic irony, which can often be very sad and tragic
Also, order members calling voldy “Voldemort” all high and mighty is a bit strange considering that they all chewed harry out about calling him “He Who Shall Not be Named”
Snape stole the parchment read it and slipped a potion into lupins chocolate that he would give to Sirius to sabotage their relationship
Bc Dumbledore told Snape everything as his extra special spy obviously
Ok so I was wrong it was dementors again. And remus told Sirius about the breakup. Which is, the right thing to do I guess
This is so hard for everybody man, Sirius’ perspective is heartbreaking
At least it shows his chats with dumby, who happens to be the funniest person in this fic
Chapters 13 & 14
Reconciliation came a bit too easily but thats alright, I want them to be happy
The amount I would give to receive a cat for Christmas. I want that so bad bruh.
Ok at least they’re acknowledging how bad Remus is with dates
Okay him being a dog seems helpful, I do feel like that should have been noticed a while ago
Honestly am feeling a bit lost in the romance, long distance pining is not my fave but hopefully Sirius will be freed before long and they can be happy for once.
I just am so curious as to why they broke up, I know thats the point but it just doesn’t make sense
Also ignore my random theories I keep throwing about, I dont actually believe snapes cat is regulus or that Snape poisoned Sirius its just fun
Chapters 15-16
They explained the plan so I know it will go horribly wrong
HELL FUCKING YEAH THEY GOT HIM THAT SNEAKY LITTLE CUNT HATE THAT MOTHERFUCKER FUCK PETER I HATE PETER
Still not happy. I dont know what I expected
2 chapters and they’ll kiss, im expecting a huge fight in chapter 17
Chapters 17-20
Ok this is strange. The relationship dynamic has developed very differently than I thought it would. They really need to figure out this memory I’m sure it all a misunderstanding or some stupid shit like that
Someone thought someone else killed somebody else
Also why is this so mirroring to me and [REDACTED] from like July forward
Distant over text/parchment, not allowed to say I love you, basically only physical, guilt for things I couldn’t remember
Except for the baby and trauma and everything
Last fic was me and remus being the same this time it’s Sirius. When am I going to consume content and not think about [REDACTED] again Im tired of him being in my brain
Chap 21-22
KATE I TOLD YOU NO I LOVE YOU FICS I HATE THIS
I also talked about [redacted] with ppl for like an hour and a half last night it was terrible
Did it again the next night bro why is that rat still in my head
23-24
The memories are throwing me for a loop. On the one hand, everything is devastatingly sad. On the other hand, they’re all being emo and need to get it together
Sirius getting “lost in his memories” is a cool idea though, I’m liking the new magic thats being explored in this fic
I need them to have a huge blowup fight. Like a massive fight that sucks and is terrible. I don’t know how they’d do it but I need it
Also I think I can take one more “oh poor Sirius” memory until I blow my brains out. Big whoop your plan failed and you were insecure about it, I’d reach out to the closest person to blame to. I blamed [REDACTED] for not winning an award at model un, not his fault. Sirius can blame Remus for his plan failing and have a moody moment then move on, trust can be rebuilt.
Last five chapters
Ok everything is happy again and the reunion went FANTASTIC
The one thing I feel like I haven’t commented on enough in this fic is Snape
His character is well done, he’s so mean and bitchy but not like completely evil which is just hilarious, I love his and Remus’s dynamic its very good
I also think his relationship with Harry is funny, and I’m glad it’s not as shitty as it started out.
“Harry, friendly and bright-eyed, took the opportunity of silence to lean onto the counter, put his face right up to the goblin’s, and say, “Meow.”
Remus pulled Harry off the counter, embarrassed, and plopped him on the ground. “Don’t meow at people, love.”
That is actually the silliest cutest thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. Literally would birth a child rn bc of how cute that is. Jesus fucking christ bruh
Can they stop making out in public. Like in front of one other person in public. Its so awk
I KEEP TRYING TO GIVE KUDOS THIS IS LIKE SUGAR BRUH SO SWEET
My criticisms are growing though, there are a few things im concerned about but im gonna finish the story before I discuss
Why can I not escape my Draco phase. One sentence about “the little Malfoy” and harry going on playdates and I RUSH to think about how that changes their school dynamic and how they treat each other and all this shit
Looks like they’re leaving some loose ends on purpose, telling not showing a lot here at the end tbh
I WANT A CHILD HE’S SO CUTE
This is the first time ive actually been obsessed with a child character hes ADORABLE
Gonna read the epilogue before writing my final review, but don’t want to take it in for my review
FINAL REVIEW:
Ok. Done. Having to write this a day after finishing because I fell asleep right after
My favorite parts
ANGST: very well done, miscommunication can sometimes be overdone but I feel like it worked this time. I loved how easily apparent the love that was still there was. 
Humor: This fic made me laugh out loud multiple times. This was mostly Harry, but there were a couple of moments from the doctor guy and Arthur that made me giggle
CHILD: literally have never seen a child portrayal that was this good. Like literally from beginning to end it was good. I’m sure some people would read this fic and say 2 yo harry is too advanced, but he’s so bright and I feel like growing up with Remus would breed him to be a talker. The accuracy of the 8 yo and 11 yo at the end was good as well, it ticks me off when people fuck up ages of a child, especially one so parenting-focused as this
Depth of world building: I could truly see this world, like I understood the flat, I understood the weasleys, I understood the dorm at Hogwarts. The scene at their graves, everything was great.
Now my weaknesses
Some underdeveloped plots
Peter: they brought up having to talk to him, made it a big deal with getting a memory and then just abandoned it and said “remus had the perfect memory.” Then, the memory was SO MUNDANE. I’m sure the author just fucked up and had to figure something out, which is fine, just was a little dissapointing.
Poison: this is another where I think the plot just ran away from the author, but I was expecting something more than “Sirius asked them to fix it and they did”
Some(?) characterizations
Remus was perfect. Sirius was a little too nice, he’s volatile and little bitt crazy and I got less of that in this fic. Sometimes it was perfect. This isn’t really a criticism, more “it could be a little better”
Overall: 8.3/10
I truly adored this fic, probably my fave wolfstar so far. However, I know this is just because I love children and loved baby harry so much, so my rating is attempting to be unbiased.
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fipindustries · 6 years
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Would you agree with me that in the last few chapters Victoria has become a significantly more interesting protagonist? It feels almost kind of like Taylor's progression where her issues more and more came to dominate the team as a whole, and this was a sudden step forward in that process akin to, like, the revelations about her impending betrayal post-Leviathan.
eh. not quite. thing is by this point in the story she’s just not done it for me. and whatever changes come, the damage is already done.
victoria doesnt have a “goal” as it were beyond a nebulous “be a good hero”, nor much of a motivation beyond “being a decen human being”.
there is no real pressing conflict in her that is pushing her actions and thus making her push the plot forward. she has the inner conflict of her trauma, yes, but it is almost orthogonal to the actual plot. 
her position as a character is rather passive, she tries to do her thing and then outside problems come by and she responds. it is never about her having a clear stated goal that moves her forward.
in fact there is not much of a plot either, ward is very slice of life, the chapters are kind of disjointed from one another for the most part. in worm one chapter led seamlessly into the next, there was a very clear sense of A leading to B, leadinc to C because of D and E.
ward is more like A leads to B but we are going to have a break to check on F and K and maybe now we’ll go back to C and D, but look now F led to G! this is made worse by wildbow’s tendency to end every chapter into a minor cliffhanger and then starting the next chapter in the middle of something completly unrelated with almost no context leaving you to put together whats happening through context clues, taking you completly out of the sotry becuse you are never too sure where you are or what’s going on at the begging of every chapter.
you can tell wildbow is trying to split the narrative evenly across all the characters but it doesnt really work because there is no real momentum to the plot this way, just bouts and short spurts that dont add up to the overall narrative.
but then again, ward is a character study, that is how character studies are supposed to be. plot is not the most important thing. and i can usually enjoy a character study if i really resonate with a character but, once again. i find victoria really boring.
she’s an oldfashioned superhero having to deal with an unfair, complicated, gritty world and on top of that is suffering a terrible trauma. yawn. she’s stretched thin and stressed and cant handle the team that is under her care. whatever. she has to deal with hard and complicated dillemas about forgivenes and redeption with people who did horrible things. so?
and yet i could maybe get behind this if she at least had an actually interesting voice to read. Sy was a fucking blast as a narrator, even when i was not that into the plot or the world of twig i could always count on the sheer carisma and personality of the main character to carry me through. victoria is just too straight laced, too goody two shoes, too conventional and centered and normal as a person. she’s not, i dunno, intriguing. fascinating.
im really dissapointed that she is the main character of this story.
now let’s compare her to the three other characters i REALLY like. Rain, Kenzie and chris.
chris is a lot of fun because of how sarcatic he is, he is interesting because of how much of a mystery he is, and he is intrguing because of how strange and alien a lot of things about him are, like the fact that he seems to be totally ok with turning into deformed monstruosities. great protagonist material right there.
rain is engaging because of how ridiculously dire and unfair his situation is. there is a very clearly defined, pressing conflict that drives his every action and which gives a much bigger pay off when he surmounts the problem. also the fact that he used to be a racist, religious zealot who had to deconstruct himself and turn into a decent human being makes for a really strong character arc. great stuff.
kenzie is fascinating because how of how alien and maladaptive she is. her brain works slightly different with the whole “has no limits”, the fact that she is a tinker makes for a different and flavourful kind of protagonist who can go into these ditraves about weird sci fi concepts. she is absurdly driven and motivated and that makes for engaging reading, she makes complicated scheemes and tries to follow through with the meager capacity of an 11 year old.
victoria doesnt have a fun personality, doesnt have clearly defined goals beyond a nebulous “get better and make the world a better place”, doesnt have a very clearly defined conflict beyond the abstract  “world is ugly and i am traumatized”. her actions dont really push the plot as much as she responds to what the world throws at her. she is she’s just a grumpy supergirl with an edgy backstory.
WITH ALL OF THAT SAID. it is true that the plot has had a much stronger and clear throughline for the last couple of chapters and we are finally hitting the intersting bits that were promised arcs ago. but the thing is that i dont really get why we were made to wait so much? i understand there is such a thing as building tension and establishing the world but i feel at some point it just becomes fluff, specially in the way wildbow will repeat himself over and over on the same things that were already established (which people will call “reinforcing” and “reincorporating”) or will waste time in pointless minutae (which people will call “symbolic”, like, yes, i get it, yellow is a thematically charged symbol in the story but i dont need another paragraph about dew reflecting light or how the screen saver in victoria’s phone works, goddamit). it’s at times like this that really comes through the fact wildbow will sometimes just fill the screen with whatever because he’s on a deadline.
TL;DR: ward is just not for me i guess. 
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