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wen-kexing-apologist · 3 months

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Body Language in Cooking Crush

Saw a great discussion about Dynamite and Fire in Cooking Crush unfold last night on my dash, (have I mentioned I love my mutuals?) and have not been able to stop thinking about what @twig-tea was saying in their post about body language, nuance, and consent and how Dynamite is constantly and carefully reading the room. And you know when someone says body language, WKA shall appear to do a scene break down!

I want to start, briefly, by reiterating the fact that Dy’s crush on Fire started after Fire intervened in his bashing, literally grappling and throwing one of the two bullies to the ground. So one of the very first things Dy ever learns about Fire is that he a) is kind enough to step in when he sees someone being hurt and b) will throw hands if he needs to. And Dy uses these two pieces of knowledge to gauge how he interacts with Fire as he begins his pursuit.

First Encounter

The first interaction we see, Dy comes out swinging right out the gate, he is explicit in his queerness, up front about his feelings, and obviously in pursuit.

Fire makes immediate eye contact with him, thanks him for the drink, and then proceeds to disengage from the conversation. But, remember, Dy knows Fire is kind and knows Fire can get physical, so he’s on a safe track so far, there is no harm in introducing himself. “Your name is Fire. My name is Dynamite. We know each other now.”

Something in Fire’s face softens, and where just a second ago he was completely disinterested and disengaged from Dy, now he is tuned in. But he catches himself quickly, almost immediately puts his mask back on, and gets the hell out of dodge. Dy presses a bit more and Fire gives him a fake smile that drops in to a frown. Fire isn’t angry here, he’s just annoyed. Which is fine, because Dynamite is intentionally being annoying, and he does chase after Fire with his drink, but he doesn’t try to keep Fire in place, he doesn’t touch him, he doesn’t grab him, he waits a moment (enough time for Fire to actually put some distance between them) before he follows after. What has Dy learned? Fire isn’t homophobic (at least to the point of violence) and there was the tiniest flicker of interest. He can keep on his pursuit.

This is followed by Dynamite placing himself in front of Fire’s line of sight on Jane, to Fire’s annoyance, yes, but I think it is important to note that Fire has no issues with touching Dynamite gently despite his very open queerness, FIre maintains the conversation, and even relies on Dynamite to get Jane’s number. When Fire calls Jane later and finds Dynamite on the other end of the phone, he’s once again frustrated and annoyed, but he doesn’t hang up the phone and he doesn’t balk at being called cute by Dynamite either. He isn’t mad about being flirted with by a guy, he’s mad that Dynamite played him and he didn’t get to talk to Jane.

And while Dynamite has fun annoying Fire, he isn’t an asshole either. He doesn’t let Fire immediately revel in connection with Jane, because Fire couldn’t work up the courage to ask her himself, but he also will not deny Fire his actual chance to pursue what could be genuine feelings for Jane, so he gives Fire her number the very next day. On his date with Jane, Fire spends the entire time looking for Dynamite, completely ignoring Jane at his side. Dy is correct, if Fire was actually interested in Jane it wouldn’t have mattered.

Kabedon

Fire pins Dynamite to a wall to interrogate him about his presence in the area during Fire’s date. But the way Fire is looking at Dynamite is not anger, it’s a challenge.

gif by @gunsatthaphan

And when Dynamite remains unphased, you can see that challenge fading almost immediately in to annoyance, and then…Dynamite squares his shoulders, takes the smallest step forward, accepts Fire’s challenge and...

Fire retreats, not far, but he does drop his hands, he does take a step back, he cedes territory, he…he submits. And not only does he do so, but he gives Dynamite a once over, and when Dynamite keeps flirting, and Fire does not reciprocate, Dynamite says he will just go somewhere else if Fire is bothered, but offering the observation to Fy that he hasn’t been paying attention to Jane. Here again Fire could have gotten aggressive or could have walked away, but instead he grabs Dynamite’s hand and presses them to Dy’s lips to shush him. Which is exactly the opposite thing you want to do if you are trying to discourage the boy who is clearly comfortable being pinned between your arms from pursuing you any further.

gif by @gunsatthaphan

And as Twig mentioned, the nuance in the body language here is that Fire is annoyed, but not upset. Fire is annoyed, but not angry. Dynamite leaves Fire alone for the rest of his time with Jane, and Fire sits beside her thinking about Dynamite instead. And there are clearly positive feelings for Dy taking root in Fire after this interaction, because this is what Fire’s reaction is when he thinks of Dynamite.

It's small, it's subtle, it's hard to see with a static photo, but he's got the barest trace of a smile on his face.

And Dynamite knows when to pull back, too. When Fire threatens to punch Samsee and is physically restrained by Metha, Dynamite leaves immediately and does not appear in front of Fire again until he takes the fall for Fire in front of his mother. And thus starts the shift in Fire’s interactions with Dynamite with the peace offering of soy milk, where Fire makes moon eyes at Dy for the entire scene.

Questioning in the Car

After being dumped by Jane, and starting to recognize he is having some sort of feelings for Dynamite, Metha (my beloved) takes Fire to acquire a sex worker and see how he feels about engaging in sex when a second penis is involved. And just like moving in to the same apartment complex was a coincidence, so too is Dynamite and Fire running in to each other on the street here.

gif by @save-the-data

Metha rolls down the window to start a conversation. Now. In my view, dynamite has always been paying attention to Fire’s reactions to his advances. But if that was not made super clear because Dy was being subtle about it at the beginning, it is made extremely obvious from every moment after the conversation on the fire escape. Because all Dynamite is doing from the second that Fire comes in to view is staring at him. Hearing Metha ask if they are using the sex worker service too and then watching intently as Dynamite’s eyes flit from Samsee, to Dynamite, down at the ground, and then straight ahead refusing to make more eye contact because Fire is embarrassed. Because he has realized he has some sort of feelings for Dynamite and he has been caught trying to figure out what those feelings are by the very person that has thrown his sexuality in to question in the first place.

And that trend continues when they are alone in the car. Dynamite might be in the backseat, but his eyes are trained on Fire’s face for the entire conversation. Body language and consent here, right? Fire is not comfortable being in this car with Dynamite, but again not because Dynamite is doing something to upset him, because he knows that being caught this way gives a pretty clear sign to Dynamite that Fire has feelings for him. But at this point Fire is a coward and Dynamite is brave, so he will initiate the hard and awkward conversation that needs to be had.

“Since I told you I like you, it made you feel uneasy, right?”

gif by @sidecouplesupremacy-blbambeyond

Boom. Called out about it, Fire for the first time since that initial moment of recognition turns to look at Dy. Now, the audience gets a good auditory confirmation that Fire is experiencing feelings, because we hear the heart beat sound effect. But Dy gets a confirmation too, because Fire’s mouth is slightly open, Fire’s brow furrows for just a moment. It’s hard to see it from the angle Neo’s head is at, but Fire is scanning Dynamite’s face, and he breaks eye contact when the feelings get to be too much for him.

gif by @sidecouplesupremacy-blbambeyond

By Dy won’t let him run away. Dynamite places a hand atop Fire’s head (worth noting that heads, if I recall correctly, are pretty sacred in Thai culture and having someone touch your head holds some weight to it). Fire gets lost in Dynamite’s face for a moment, and takes a little too long to pull away from Dynamite’s touch for someone claiming not to like Dynamite. Again, Dy may be a little shit (read: someone who enjoys intentionally annoying people) but he is not an asshole, he knows this is getting to be too much for Fire, and he defuses the intensity of the moment by pushing harder on the “you like me” point, but in such a way that allows Fire to hide behind annoyance once again. But Dy still wants to be certain he is reading the situation correctly, so he leans in a little, a teasing distance and Fire?

gif by @sidecouplesupremacy-blbambeyond

Jaw goes slack, then tenses as he swallows hard, and his eyes flicker down for just a second right to Dynamite’s lips. Dynamite backs off, and the thrill of the moment finally settles over Fire now that he has some breathing room from the intensity of that interaction for him and he starts to smile to himself. With Dynamite once again checking Fire’s face to gauge his reaction, and only smiling when he sees Fire is melting in his seat.

Cold Shoulder at the Grocery Store

The audience does not know this yet, but Dynamite has suffered a massive loss for being queer, and that has made him brave and strong, and that has informed the way that he engages with potential lovers. I won’t talk about it at length because multiple other posts have already covered that. But I think it is important to remember for what comes next. Because Dynamite looks pretty happy after that conversation in the car that Fire reciprocates his feelings. And then he sees Jane and Fire together at the store.

gif by @save-the-data

Dynamite sizes up the scene, sees Jane at Fire’s side, see’s Fire looking amped up and a little cocky, and you can see the moment he decides to shut his feelings for Fire down in the tiniest of lip movements. (Aungpao is blowing me away in this show, he’s seventeen fucking years old, his microexpression game is on point, he’s relatively green, and he’s keeping up with actors like GUN ATTAPHAN, OFF JUMPOL, AND NEO TRAI.) Dynamite is brave, but what he is seeing is Fire running from his feelings and trying to be straight, and for the time being, Fire is not strong enough for what comes next. Dynamite got his hopes up and they are being crushed in real time in the grocery store.

And when Dynamite does not engage, Fire doesn’t look relieved that he didn’t have to deal with Dynamite, he looked disappointed that Dynamite decided not to pay attention to him. To give him the space that he’s said he has wanted all this time. It takes Jane coming out about her relationship and calling Fire on his crush on Dynamite to corner Fire in such a way that he can’t run from his feelings anymore. But man oh man is he going to try.

Drunk Confessions

gifs by @gunsatthaphan

Dy is mad, trying to get past his feelings for Fy, and is now having to take care of a drunken man that is confessing his feelings because he is only able to do so under the influence. God I love this scene so much, because it is one of the rare times that I have seen a drunken kiss, and a chaste cheek kiss at that be so upsetting. And Dynamite has every right to be upset, a) because he might have pushed Fire around a bit, he definitely stepped over the line occasionally by following Fire around but he never was physically intimate with Fire and b) because Fire has jerked around Dynamite’s emotions partially without Fire’s knowledge, and you can see the mental calculus going on in Dy’s head when Fire kisses him, because this is a very blatant admission of feelings but not when he is sober, and that is wholly unfair to Dy.

But it’s getting Dy’s hopes up too and you can see him shake his wall back in place after Fire collapses on his shoulder because he can’t afford for Fire to get sober and clam up again. And here we get the admission of exactly what Dy has been picking up on this whole time: “Regardless of how much I say I don’t want to see you, you have no right to walk away.” To be clear here: this is not a ‘no means yes’ situation. This is a “you don’t have to stop” admission a la Secret Crush on You. Fire likes the game and is saying so himself right now. It’s why Dy picked up on from the beginning and why he was acting the way that he was, and seeing Fy with Jane after their conversation in the car is when he think he might have been misreading Fy the entire time and pulls away completely out of respect for the feelings of everyone involved.

Which is why Dy pulls away even harder and stops engaging with Fy at all after Fy wakes up sober, remembering everything that had happened the night before, and refusing to own up to it. Fire’s not ready the way Dynamite is, and so Dynamite will leave Fire to do the work from here. If Fire truly likes Dynamite, Dynamite will happily turn his feelings for Fire back on, but only after Fire proves that he is ready.

#i love my boys #cooking crush #cooking crush the series #fire x dynamite #dynamite x fire #fymy #neo trai #aungpao ochiris #thai bl #gmmtv #cooking crush meta #cooking crush analysis

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waitmyturtles · 3 months

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I am all caught up on Cooking Crush (!!!), AND --

I did some tag diving, AND --

I am reading Fire and Dynamite differently than many in the pack, it seems.

As I'm catching up on these posts.... I don't see Dynamite as a stalker for a second. And I think I understand the context of Fire's sudden emotional change, from angry rejection of Dy to becoming a total puppy.

I see Dynamite and Fire both as products of internalized and externalized homophobia.

Does Dynamite come off as a wackadoodle hardcore flirt to start? For sure. This face is not a sympathetic face! (Although I was CACKLING at it.)

I posit that Dynamite went so hard, so unrealistic, on his flirting to Fire, because -- he's used to getting rejected.

(source: @moonkhao!)

If Dynamite's own dad rejected him for who he is, then -- Dynamite can possibly act however he wants to, to whomever, because he may very well think he has nothing to lose.

Fire reacts to Dynamite with disgust and anger. I posit that due to Fire's fear of

1) admitting his own queer preferences, 2) his fear of coming out, specifically to his mother, and 3) the confusion of not understanding, identifying, or realizing his own feelings, that Fire's initial reactions to Dynamite are ones of extreme rejection.

I also think that what's happening there is that Fire is initially rejecting HIS OWN FEELINGS, and HIS OWN REALIZATIONS.

Enough research exists to demonstrate that internalized homophobia leads to these kinds of distressed emotional states.

Fire in the car, as he and Metha are cruising? Fire's considering something. And it makes him tingle.

He needs booze to open up more. And then when he's sober, he rejects it again. And Dy sees Fire with Jane, and gets frustrated with Fire's mixed messaging.

Fire doesn't know how to authentically communicate at this point, because, yes -- one point in which I'll agree with posters on the tag is that he's had to learn to be submissive in order to placate an OVERLY demanding mom. He's used to hiding his true self.

But Fire is also AFRAID OF HIS MOM. He's afraid of her rejection!

Like, that's no good!

I think Fire's sudden change to becoming a puppy-wuppy is: HOMEBOY'S FINALLY FOUND LOVE! Love that satisfies his needs as his own authentic self. He doesn't need to hide anything from Dy anymore, because Fire's not hiding anything from HIMSELF anymore.

Most of the parents in this show are not good parents! Dy's dad can go to hell. Ten is forced to submit to his dad's demands. Fire is forced to submit to his mom's demands. That's very common in Asian parenting -- but we also have good parents! Unky's parents welcome him home in happiness and pride. Prem's grandma is a G.

Do we not think that this robust background information on where these men hail from is not impacting how they're behaving in their current relationship states? It is.

And I believe that the places of fear and rejection from which Fy and Dy come from exactly explains how they got together, and how they are together now.

I LOVE THEM, YER HONOR! DyFy 4ever!

#cooking crush #cooking crush meta #cooking crush the series #cooking crush the series meta #fire x dynamite #dynamite x fire #dynamitefire #dy x fy #fy x dy #dyfy #it's definitely dy then fy #tenprem #i didn't actually forget about tenprem we just get much more info about them lol #neo trai #aungpao ochiris #the dynamite defense squad

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endlessly-ranting-antheia · 3 months

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The way that fire and dynamite are going to be that obnoxious couple who are all over each other all the time and go everywhere together like they’re glued to each other

#cooking crush #I can’t wait for them to be insufferable #fire x dynamite #cooking crush the series

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krazycattgurl · 3 months

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They are so sweet 💚 love this couple

#cooking crush the series #neo trai #aungpao ochiris #fire x dynamite #how cute are these two

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isbelevans · 2 months

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Cooking Crush is ending today :( I will say how much of a nice surprise the Neo and Aungpao pairing has been I was one of the ones really upset about the recast and had went in with zero expectations but honestly Fire and Dynamite have ended up being one of my favourite parts of the whole show. I am unsure if these two will ever be paired again so ultimately glad we got to see them together in this 👬😘

#honestly would be very shocked if gmmtv did more with Neo and Aungpao together after this #fire x dynamite #cooking crush #cooking crush the series

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ppeonppeonhan · 4 months

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I don't know...7 episodes into Cooking Crush and I'm just not feeling it.

Even though I love OffGun (on and off screen), the only thing keeping me coming back is that I've never seen Aungpao before, and I'm hoping he wins Neo's character over.

And makes him suffer. 😈

Lol oh my god I just realized their couple name is Dynamite x Fire.

Too bad Aungpao is 17. The only thing that'll explode between those two on screen is Fire's internalized homophobia.

#bl drama #bl series #thai bl #thai drama #cooking crush #cooking crush the series #bl couples #offgun #aungpao ochiris #neo trai #fire x dynamite

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cagedinreality · 3 months

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There are more sean/white fics in the cooking crush fandom than fucking fire/dynamite are you for fucking real.

#cooking crush #firedynamite #fire x dynamite

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gunsatthaphan · 3 months

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#caught.

#cooking crush #cooking crush the series #cooking crush ep9 #firedynamite #fire x dynamite #neo trai #aungpao ochiris #gmmtv #thai bl #bl drama #JHFKJD please this killed me 😭

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itsallaboutbl · 5 months

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same!! i love these two already hahah

#fire x dynamite #also their names hahahah #cooking crush #esme comments

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thedooristhebluecushion · 2 months

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Me to Ten’s Dad & Fire’s Mom:

#cooking crush #cooking crush the series #cookie crush spoilers #ten x prem #tenprem #fire x dynamite #firedynamite

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livsoulsecrets · 3 months

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Fire/Dynamite Fic - You saw me start to believe for the first time

Summary:

An alternative take at Fire and Dynamite’s relationship after the end of episode 7: Fire goes after Dy sooner.

“When he woke up half naked only to find out he had made a complete fool out of himself – in Dy’s own words, he lashed out. He lied and denied everything because that was all he ever learned to do with his own feelings.

And the worst of it was that Dynamite listened.”

Read on AO3.

Fire was used to being told what to do.

The first clear memory he had of his childhood was of his fifth birthday.

His mother had picked the cake flavor, the decorations, and the balloons. He had asked for a Spider-Man figurine as a gift, but she had waved it off as silly. Fire had begged her time after time to invite over his friends from school, but only family members were in attendance.

Kids make too much of a mess, she told him in a condescending tone. All he had heard was that he was too much of a mess for his opinion to mean anything at all.

His whole life felt like a replay of that faithful birthday party.

His mom chose which sports he’d play in high school and who he was allowed to be friends with. She decided he’d go to med school and that he needed to live at home for the first few years.

His mother had already settled his future many years ago, even before he was born. He’d grow up to be a respectable doctor, marry a respectable woman, and have some respectable kids that would visit their grandmother every Sunday.

Half the time, he could convince himself it was for the better, that this made-up version of him was worth much more than whatever lay beneath it all.

The other half, he didn’t even know if there was a difference between the two.

The one thing Fire felt he was actually good at was lying.

He had perfected it like an art over the years. At thirteen, he had plotted a fake study meeting at his best friend’s house so he could attend his birthday party without his mom obsessing over every detail. At sixteen, he knew how to tell when his mother was in deep sleep, so he could sneak out to see his friends. At eighteen, he had learned to climb through his bedroom window in order not to get caught.

All that effort just to steal away moments of freedom was draining, but Fire could handle it most of the time. He had even grown comfortable in it, protected underneath all the walls he built.

It had been better when he got into college, put some distance between him and his mother’s control, and met Metha and Ten. He thought it would only get easier. There would always be the shadow of his family’s expectations hanging over his life, but he’d have some room to breathe. He’d graduate, have his own money, get married, build a family, maybe even have kids that weren’t terrified of him.

Fire held on to that plan with all he had, and it seemed perfect on paper. Med school was on that plan, girls like Jane and friends like Ten and Metha were as well.

Dynamite wasn’t.

For he was neither a girl nor respectable.

Dynamite was impulsive and inappropriate, genuine and hilarious. He drove Fire mad with his flirting and innuendos and his refusal to be anything other than himself.

It was no surprise he couldn’t stand him at first. Dynamite was free in all the ways Fire could only ever dream of being. He lived on his own, he laughed as loud as he pleased and befriended whoever he wanted to. He was smart underneath his nonchalant demeanor, but he was also intelligent in the traditional way – he wouldn’t have skipped a year in school otherwise.

For the love of him, Fire couldn’t tell when annoyance had shifted into curiosity and interest, and then, so God help him, fondness.

Metha saw it, and so did Jane. Dynamite himself seemed to know, but Fire was a creature of habit.

When he woke up half naked only to find out he had made a complete fool out of himself – in Dy’s own words, he lashed out. He lied and denied everything because that was all he ever learned to do with his own feelings.

And the worst of it was that Dynamite listened.

He disappeared completely from Fire’s life. He couldn’t even steal glances at him anymore. It was like Dy had never existed at all, like they had never met, and their lives had never intertwined.

Fire was always good at lying, yes, but he had never come so close to something true, only to give it up. It proved more painful this time, more than any other.

He had tried to put it into words when Mehta cornered him to ask why he was so miserable, but nothing Fire said made sense.

There was only one way to put an end to his misery. He needed to see Dy again. He needed to-

Tell him the truth? Which version of it? Did Fire himself even know what that was?

The questions remained unanswered for the days it took Fire to track Dynamite down on their campus.

Fire learned his schedule after enlisting Metha’s help in following Dy around. He was not proud of himself for the breach of privacy, but he figured Dy of all people would understand his desperation.

That was how he found himself lurking behind a potted fern as Dy said goodbye to his classmates in front of the culinary’s faculty.

The irony was not lost on him: after the lengths he went to in order to get rid of Dy’s lurking, there he was, relented to the same position, desperate to catch Dy’s eye.

There was no time to hesitate, though. When Dy walked away from his friends to enter the building, Fire forced himself to leave his hiding spot to follow him.

Dy navigated through the halls with ease, his fingers tapping against his leg and his face relaxed. When he turned right and entered a desert hallway, Fire seized his chance.

He exhaled deeply and rushed closer to him.

“Dynamite,” he called out.

The boy turned around, his face paling considerably when his eyes landed on Fire.

“Can we talk, please?”

Dynamite remained still for long seconds – that Fire could have sworn stretched into hours.

Then he had the audacity to laugh. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Fire flinched. “Please, I just need to-”

“Oh, you need something? So, I just drop everything and rush to help?” Dy echoed, his tone vicious. “You know what, Fire? I’m done here.”

Dynamite turned on his heels and began to walk away.

Overcome by some instinct he couldn’t possibly name, Fire rushed forward and blocked his way.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he spat out before the courage slipped away from him. “I know you didn’t lie that day. I said and did all those things. I called you there. I asked you to stay.”

Dy’s face was bright red when he replied, “I know that, dumbass. I was there. You were the one in denial. Is that all? Can you let me go now?”

Fire shook his head immediately. “No. It’s not just that.”

Dy rolled his eyes, none of his usual nonchalance present now. “I’m sure you have better things to do than talking to me. Why don’t you go back to Jane and leave me alone?”

“What does Jane have to do with this?” Fire nearly screamed. He was too frustrated now to be reasonable.

“She’s your girlfriend, for fuck’s sake!” Dy jabbed at his chest in fury, and his other hand tightened around his backpack’s strap.

“She’s not!” Fire denied, grabbing his hand, “We’re not back together.”

That gave Dynamite pause. “What? I saw you in the market and…”

“We’re just friends,” Fire interrupted, “not even that anymore, I think. Her girlfriend doesn’t like it.”

Dy’s eyebrows shot up so high it would have been comical in any other situation. “Jane has a girlfriend?”

“That’s not important right now,” Fire exasperated.

“It sounds pretty important to me,” Dynamite fired back.

“I’m not here to talk about Jane,” he laced his fingers around Dy’s wrist, praying to whatever God was listening that he didn’t ruin everything again.

“What are you here to talk about, then?” The annoyance hadn’t left his tone yet, but Fire had to trample down the treacherous hope blooming inside his chest at the fondness he heard mixed with it.

“I’m here to tell you that…” he started, suddenly distracted by the softness of Dy’s skin under his fingers and the shape of his mouth as it moved around his words. He swallowed dryly. “I meant what I said that night. I didn’t want you to look away from me in the market. I didn’t want you to ignore me, even when I asked you to leave me alone.”

Dy’s jaw clenched. “Is this some ego boost to you? Jane dumped you, so now you want me to keep chasing you so you can feel better?”

He retreated his wrist with a hard pull, but Fire didn’t let him go far.

“That’s not it!”

“Then, what the hell is it?” Dy shouted back, and Fire saw tears welling up in his eyes.

It all came to him rather quickly after that.

He realized that hurting Dy felt a hundred times worse than disappointing his mother or abandoning her plans for him.

Being a good son would mean turning his back on Dynamite and the fire he ignited within him.

He had been good for so long. Right now, he just wanted to be honest.

Resolve settled deep in his heart. He’d tell Dy all he had kept secured before. He’d bare his soul for him and allow Dynamite to judge whether it was worth his time or not.

There was no one telling him what to do now. It was terrifying, but Fire pushed through the paralyzing fear to try and fix what he had broken.

“I want you to care. I want you to care about what I’m doing and who I’m doing it with. I want you to drive me crazy with your questions and your rambling.”

He gulped some air, stilling himself for how irreversible that moment would be.

“I want you, Dy,” he murmured. “I just want you.”

He grabbed Dynamite’s face with both hands and kissed him.

It was nothing like those passion-filled kisses he saw in movies. He was pretty sure he had knocked his nose too hard against Dy’s. There were not butterflies in his stomach, just a sureness spreading through his body that Fire had never felt before.

He had barely processed that knowledge when the magnitude of that situation dawned on him. Fire pulled away just as quickly as he had pulled Dy into him.

“Sorry! I shouldn’t have just kissed you like that. I didn’t even ask you. I spent so many days thinking of what I was going to say, and I fucked everything up,” he rambled, desperate. He backed himself into the opposite wall from where Dy stood.

Dy hadn’t moved yet, and he was eerily quiet – both features that didn’t fit him at all. He brought two fingers to touch his lips and stared at Fire in disbelief.

“Did you mean it?”

Dy’s voice was small and contained, with just a hint of hope that fired up his insides.

“All of it,” Fire confirmed, biting into his lip to stop himself from moving towards Dy again.

It had to come from him this time.

He had to make the call. Fire needed to know if Dy was willing to put up with his messes. He wouldn’t force it upon him, not again.

Dynamite dropped his backpack to the floor and rushed forward. Fire felt his feet moving of their own accord and they met somewhere in the middle.

Dynamite threw his arms around Fire’s neck and kissed him properly. He had to lace an arm around Dy’s waist so his knees didn’t give in. He was lucky there was a wall under his back, or Fire was sure he’d have made an even bigger fool out of himself.

He ran his other hand through Dynamite’s hair, mesmerized by the softness of the strands. Late at night, when he was already in bed, he had allowed himself to wonder what this would feel like.

His imagination had nothing on the real thing, though. When Fire scrapped his nails against Dy’s scalp, the other boy whimpered against his mouth.

“You’re so beautiful,” the words spilled out, unrelenting in their honesty after so many months of denial.

Dy’s ears burned red, and he hid his face in Fire’s neck. “Shut up.”

“You really are. You sound so-”

Dynamite pressed a kiss on his neck, and his mind forgot any words he had been about to say. He had to place all his focus on getting his mouth to work again.

“I need you to know,” he tried again, determined to ensure Dy believed him completely.

This time, the menace bit into his collarbone. “Dynamite,” he mumbled, trying to reprimand him, but his voice sounded pleading, and his back arched involuntarily.

Dy lifted his face from his hideout, smiling the troublemaker grin that had haunted Fire’s mind for days after his failed date with Jane.

“I believe you, moron.”

“You do?” Fire exhaled in relief, resting his forehead against Dy’s.

He kissed Fire in lieu of an answer – a quick brush of their lips against each other – but it was enough to allow all the tension of the last few days to leave Fire’s body.

“I’m really sorry,” he said again.

“I know,” Dy answered, still smiling broadly, “but I forgive you. Better late than never, huh?”

He chuckled, and Fire watched in awe. “I thought I was too late.”

“You were just in time, Firefy,” Dy laughed, caressing his cheek with his knuckles.

Fire brought Dy’s hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to it.

Dy tilted his head and frowned. “Actually, how did you know where to find me?”

Fire released his hand very slowly and tried to search his brain for a reasonable answer. “I was just walking by,” he said, but the sentence sounded too much like a question, even to his own ears.

Dy lifted an eyebrow and said, “Really? So far away from the Med school building? Exactly when I had just finished a lecture?”

“Yes?” He tried again.

“Fire,” Dy bent forward, which only made Fire more nervous. “Did you follow me?”

“No!” He denied away too quickly, and Dynamite let out a victorious screech.

“You totally did!”

His shoulders slumped down in defeat. “Maybe a little?”

“I can’t believe it!” Dy exclaimed, far too entertained by his despair. “All that talk about privacy and boundaries, only for you to do the same.”

“I was desperate, okay? I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

“I know the feeling.” Dy wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Fire groaned and shoved Dy playfully on the shoulder. It only made him laugh harder.

“You’re so annoying!”

“Yes,” Dy agreed, “and you like it.”

All the fight flew from his body. He traced the curve of Dynamite’s chin with the tips of his fingers and said, “I like you.”

Dy pressed a kiss to the back of his hand. “I like you too.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long to admit it. I was so scared,” said Fire.

He feared he’d find more hurt in Dy’s gaze when he said those words, but there was just openness and understanding mirrored in his eyes.

“It’s hard to explain, but I’m not used to feeling so much. I can handle lying to my mom when I sneak out for a party or a date. I’m good at finding time for my friends and to play tennis.”

For the first time since he laid eyes on Dy this morning, Fire felt like he actually knew what he was doing. The words kept pouring out of his mouth, but now he knew they were truthful. There was no risk of saying the wrong thing because this was for Dynamite’s ears only.

He had said and done much worse, and yet he was only ever met with Dynamite’s honesty and kindness in return.

“I’m not good at wanting things too badly. Or fighting for them. It was so easy before,” he confessed, and the sight of Dy was a canvas of possibilities he had never dared to paint before.

“It was so easy before I met you. I didn’t know what to do with what you made me feel, so I pushed it away.”

Dy’s hand found its way to his neck, landing there as a comforting weight.

“And why did you change your mind?”

“You know why.”

“I want to hear it,” Dy insisted, titling his chin up.

Fire relented, “I missed you too much.”

Dy smiled, satisfied. “It’s okay. We’ll talk more later, but we’re fine. Just hold me, will you?”

He was nodding before Dy finished talking. He pulled him against his chest and kissed the top of his head.

“You can want things for yourself, Firefy. You deserve it,” Dy told him.

And Fire finally believed in it.

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