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rawiswhore · 1 year

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Various WWF and ECW Wrestlers x Fem Reader- "Saturday Night Fever"

Those female dancers in D Generation X's and Chris Jericho's titantrons were dancers on the World Wrestling Federation's "Shotgun Saturday Night" show at the beginning of 1997.

You wanted to be one of those female dancers on "Shotgun Saturday Night" at the beginning of the year, and you somewhat were when you danced on a table those same dancers have danced on while you wore a cocktail dress, but you could barely be a female dancer on "Shotgun Saturday Night" due to the character you play in the WWF being a classy, elegant debutante dressed in evening gowns that reach your ankles.

Granted, during your debutante gimmick, you have worn some short cocktail dresses and took some provocative photos in wrestling magazines, as well as participated in the bikini contests the WWF made their women's division do at the 1997 Slammy Awards and at a house show.

You've carefully studied how the female dancers on "Shotgun Saturday Night" have danced, and some of their dancing isn't really very good and not all that sexy, especially the one wearing the patriotic American swimsuit where she was sitting on all fours and she looked like she was humping the stage.

But either way, near the end of February 1997, you invited some of the sexiest men in the World Wrestling Federation to the same place "Shotgun Saturday Night" has taken place in, where female dancers have danced on those stages.

The wrestlers you've invited are Jeff Hardy, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Shawn Michaels, Nova and Raven from ECW, and Brian Pillman.

At the end of February that year, wrestling company ECW had some of their stars briefly invade the World Wrestling Federation.

One of ECW's biggest stars Rob Van Dam was a part of the WWF roster in the summer of 1997, he nearly even joined the WWF but then went back to ECW.

It's a shame that when ECW briefly invaded the WWF at the beginning of 1997 that Rob Van Dam wasn't a part of it.

When you invited these male wrestlers, you were dressed in a short spaghetti strapped babydoll negligee that reached your upper thighs.

Hunter, Shawn and Raven all had their long hair hanging down when you invited them and so did Nova, and Nova didn't wear any facepaint or drawn on marker on his face when you invited him to this stage you're going to dance on.

Nova would sometimes wear facepaint and have marker drawn on his face during his Blue World Order days, that's what I'm referring to.

These male wrestlers you've escorted to see you dance were dressed in regular street clothes and not their ring gear.

You would've invited Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith and even the infamous Fake Razor Ramon (played by Rick Bognar) and Thurman Plugg, but you doubt Bret would be interested in seeing you dance.

The fake Razor Ramon may be one of the WWF's biggest flubs, but he was kind of handsome sometimes.

When you invited Shawn, Hunter, Jeff, Raven, Nova and Brian to this same place "Shotgun Saturday Night" has taken place in, the room was completely empty, with no wrestlers in the ring, no dancers on the table and no fans around the ring.

And that's perfect considering what you want.

While Shawn, Hunter, Jeff, Raven, Nova and Brian all circled around this table you were about to dance on with excited faces, you climbed on top of one of the tables that these same "Shotgun Saturday Night" dancers have danced on.

You actually climbed one of the tables that had a rope dangling in the middle of it, and once you stood on this stage next to the rope, your hands grabbed and gripped that rope, where you raised your feet and even your legs off of the stage and wrapped your thighs on top of a massive knot near the end of this rope.

As your hands held on to that rope while your feet were in the air, your body rotated and spun around in circles still keeping your feet up in the air.

You twirled around that rope while you hung on to it, leaning your body sideways.

What you did was something a female dancer did on "Shotgun Saturday Night" involving that same rope.

These male wrestlers immediately knew you were going to swing around on that rope, but they didn't mind it.

With smiles on their faces, many of them clapped their hands and cheered, a few of them like Shawn Michaels and Brian Pillman even whistled at you like how men whistle at attractive women.

That's known as a wolf whistle as it's called.

Your knees were sticking straight up in the air as you swung around that rope, sometimes arching your head back as you're twirling around the rope but your feet are off of the stage, the calves of your legs crossed at the ankles to hang on to that rope.

"Man, I wanna give her a dollar or more" Shawn Michaels said with a grin.

"Maybe we should" Brian suggested.

Some of these men like Shawn, Hunter and Brian agreed with giving you money since you're dancing like a stripper, and those 3 men pulled their wallets out of their pockets and pulled some dollar bills out of their leather wallets, where they slid some money onto the stage.

Is it the best thing for them to throw money at the stage at you since you might slip and fall down on top of it?

Although, you can hear what they're saying.

You'd rather spin around on a steel silver stripper pole rather than on a rope.

After spinning around for a while around that rope, you placed your feet back on the stage and removed your thighs and legs off of the bottom of the rope.

Your turned your body around until your back was turned in front of these wrestlers.

Your ass was sticking out in front of these men and your chest and head were bent, and you began to bounce your ass a little bit while your ass was sticking out.

Your panties were covering your vulva and peeking under your outfit, and while you bounced and jiggled your ass as you held on to this rope, Brian Pillman, Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Shawn Michaels were cheering for you seemingly twerking for them.

Those 3 men all had grins on their faces as you bounced your ass in front of them, and then you began to roll your ass around in a circle while your torso and head were still bent.

You then straightened up your body by raising your torso and head up and one of your hands of your hands let go of the rope, where you began to walk and strut in a circle around that rope with your feet on the stage.

You were a little bit dizzy after spinning around that rope, but at least it wasn't too fast.

Your feet luckily didn't slip on the money that was placed on the stage, and the money on the stage was on the corner of this stage.

Some of these men are tempted into masturbating to you, though would they get arrested?

You stopped walking in a circle around that rope, but you began to sway your hips left and right while your hand held that rope.

One of your arms raised up in the air as you swayed your hips back and forth, where you grinned and smiled swaying your hips left and right, sometimes even rolling your ass back in a circle.

You didn't arch your head back and roll your head around in circles like one of the "Shotgun Saturday Night" dancers did, what she did was a little weird.

"You gonna pick up that money?" Shawn asked, his hand pointing to the money on the stage.

"I will!" you replied.

It was probably a little too soon for these men to give you money.

Your hand let go of the rope you held and one of your arms swayed sideways next to you along with the sway of your hips.

When one of your arms was laying next to you, your opposite arm swayed sideways next to you to the sway of your hips.

While one of your arms swayed, the other arm stayed down, all while you swayed your body and hips.

This dance was a little bit weird.

Speaking of weird dances, you placed your hands on your hips and bent your knees a little bit, where you then let your thighs attach to each other and your knees knock together, only for your legs and knees to separate from each other.

These were the dances you did:

And yes, those are dancers from "Shotgun Saturday Night".

Would you look good if you stuffed the money these male wrestlers gave to you into the straps of your thong?

There are so many male wrestlers you wish could watch you dance, like Scott Hall, Rob Van Dam, Chris Jericho, Jim Powers from WCW, Tommy Rogers from the Fantastics, and eventually wrestlers like Christian Cage and Val Venis.

But those wrestlers are in other wrestling companies they're not allowed to cross over into, although Chris Jericho did nearly join the WWF in the mid 1990's, and Tommy Rogers eventually was briefly in the WWF in the summer of 1997.

There's other wrestlers you wish could watch you dance.

You then sat your ass down on the table you were dancing on, where you raised your legs and feet high up in the air while your legs were attached to each other and lean back your back, but then you lowered your legs down and crossed one of your legs on top of your other leg.

Your panties were exposed when you raised your legs and feet up in the air, which got a pop from these men watching you.

When you crossed your legs, you raised your back up and sat up straight, but your arms crossed each other near the elbows.

This is what you did:

Weird, but this was a dance the women on "Shotgun Saturday Night" did.

Somebody come get you, you're dancin' like a stripper.

Throughout your performance, Raven watched you with a smirk on his face, Nova was smiling at you, Jeff Hardy's hormones were raging deep down inside and he watched you with a smile on his face.

Brian Pillman, Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Shawn Michaels were the most animated during your performance.

Those 3 men were cheering for you (though so was Jeff Hardy and Nova), but Brian and Shawn were the loudest and happiest.

Hopefully no one will steal the money that Brian, Hunter and Shawn gave to you on the stage.

You then stood up on the stage and turned your body around until the side of your body was in front of these men.

With your head turned sideways looking at these men, you jolted and shook one of your hips sideways, jolting your hip in front of these men.

Your arms were up in the air when you pushed your hip forward in front of these men, where they got happy for you dancing for them.

You then rotated your body until your torso was in front of these wrestlers, where your arms crossed each other for a while and then you bent your knees and squatted yourself down a few inches from the stage, only for you to raise your body and straighten your legs back up when you stood.

When you stood up, your arms were crossed at the forearms and above your crotch, which your arms made the bottom of your dress raise up and expose your panties.

Your panties being exposed made these male wrestlers' eyes grow wide and eyebrows raise, giving you a pop and Shawn and Brian wolf whistling at you.

Your hands were pulling the bottom of your dress up without grabbing it, your hands were placed sideways at your hips when the bottom of your dress raised up.

Your forearms uncrossed and separated away from each other, which caused the bottom of your dress to drop down and cover your panties again.

You then bent your chest down forward in front of these men with one of your forearms placed across your stomach and your opposite arm crossing above your forearm at your stomach while you puckered your lips out to blow kisses at these male wrestlers.

Your forearms formed an "x" shape at your stomach, you weren't crotch chopping at these men however.

After your forearms were crossed, you separated your forearms together and then raised your chest and head until you were standing straight up.

You placed your hands on your hips and your mouth went back to a normal shape, where you swayed your hips back and forth.

You then squatted your body down near the stage and let one of your hands slide up from your vulva, where after you squatted you raised your body up until you stood straight.

You then received another cheer when you squatted your body down on the floor.

Although, wouldn't it make sense if your back was facing in front of these men and you squatted down, only for you to raise your body up, basically do a "slut drop" as it's called?

That was the final little dance you did, and you bent down and grabbed the money that these male wrestlers had given you, where you tucked and stuffed their money into the straps of your thong.

You don't care if these wrestlers give you a $1 bill, you already make enough money in the World Wrestling Federation.

In fact, it's a good thing they give you $1 because then they aren't wasting too much money.

After your performance, these male wrestlers circled around the table gave you a round of applause and whistled at you, cheering for you after your dance.

You wish you could've worn a thong bikini during this performance, but you didn't, just because of a moment where you pull your negligee up to show your panties.

Not to mention, if you wore this thong bikini in public, you'd get arrested.

Some of these male wrestlers like Hunter Hearst Helmsley were thinking how you memorized most of the "Shotgun Saturday Night" dancers' dances in order by date, that's amazing.

You didn't do your own dance that you did when you were brief dancer on "Shotgun Saturday Night".

Maybe you could've been a dancer on "Shotgun Saturday Night" as long as you weren't too slutty and risqué.

Sadly, Nova and Raven had to return to ECW, which made you upset.

But luckily, Rob Van Dam joined the WWF for a while, which made you happy.

When other sexy male wrestlers joined the WWF, like Rob Van Dam, Tommy Rogers, Jerry Lynn, Christian Cage, Sean Morley/Val Venis, etc., you did the same dances these women on "Shotgun Saturday Night" did for them.

#shawn michaels #hunter hearst helmsley #jeff hardy #raven #nova #brian pillman #wwf #1997 #90s #shotgun saturday night

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blowflyfag · 8 months

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RINGSIDE WRESTLING : JANUARY 1997

Ringside Roundup

All the News from Coast-to-Coast

We would like to welcome everyone to our Ringside Roundup. Since our last issue quite a bit has happened on the wrestling scene. For starters the nWo continues to grow. Depending on who’s counting, there appears to be eight members in the organization: Hollywood Hogan, Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Ted DiBiase, the Giant, “Six” (formerly known as the 1-2-3 Kid), the “fake” Sting and the new CEO of security, Vince.

If Vince looks familiar it’s because in his former life he was Ted DiBiase’s bodyguard, Virgil. More members are expected to be added to the nWo in the very near future. The Nasty Boys will be nWo members shortly and both Bam Bam Bigelow and Bret Hart have been mentioned as possible nWo members as well.

[ECW head honcho Paul E. Dangerous, along with wrestlers Sandman, Tommy Dreamer, Taz, Bubba Ray Dudley and Pitbull #2 were at ringside for the start of the WWF “In Your House” pay-per-view, but they didn’t last long. By the end of the first match, WWF security had asked them to leave. Is this the opening salvo in another inter-promotional war?]

Hart incidentally is a free agent and has yet to resign with the WWF. Meanwhile, the Hitman is being wooed heavily by the nWo. They have reportedly offered him a three year contract at a million dollars a year as well as a guaranteed three-movie deal with one of Ted Turner’s movie companies.

Right now Bret is living in an apartment in Los Angeles and he is taking acting lessons. In addition he had been going on auditions and making the rounds of the TV and movie studios. Although Bret would like to make it in Hollywood on his own, Ted Turner’s deal sounds awfully enticing.

[Will Bret Hart resign with the WWF or join the nWo?]

Just when the nWo and WCW have begun to fight it out, the WWF and ECQ have also begun an interpromotional war. At the recent “In Your House” pay-per-view from Philadelphia the ECW contingent was in full force. Sitting in the first row were Tommy Dreamer, the Sandman and Paul E. Dangerously while in the lodger were Saturn from the Pit Bulls, Bubba Ray Dudley and Taz. As soon as the ECW guys entered the Core States Arena, the ECW chants begun. Then the moment the pay-per-view went on the air the Sandman, Tommy Dreamer and Paul E. began to taunt Savio Vega.

[“Zillionaire” Ted, who seems to be providing the New World Order with much of their financial backing, shares a moment with RINGSIDE editor George Napolitano.]

At one point the Sandman even threw beer in Savio Vega’s face. Finally when the ECW crew refused to stop they were escorted from the arena. Obviously their outburst gave ECW the international exposure that they have been craving. If nothing else ECW received more exposure out of this than they ever imagined. Paul E. owes “super fans” Charlie Vladimir and Chris big time for giving up their usual first row WWF seats so that the ECW guys could sit there.

[The Nasty Boys are rumored to be nWo-bound]

First there was a fake Stinge. Now there are a fake Diesel and Razor Ramon too! While the “orginal” Diesel and Razor Ramon, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall respectively, are now doing their thing in WCW as part of the NWO as “the Outsiders,” the WWF has replacements to reprise the roles of Diesel and Razor in the WWF. Playing “Diesel” is Glenn Jacobs better know to WWF followers as the awful Issac Yankem. The Razor Ramon character is being played by Rick Bogner: AKA Big Titan in Japan.

During an ECW appearance since Titan came out as “Slice and Dice” Ramirez and in all honesty he was a better “Razor” than Razor! With Brian Lee still around, chances are good than he may reprieve his role as the Underfaker, I mean the Undertaker, should the real Undertaker leave for WCW when his WWF contract expires in a few months. One really knows what the WWF hopes to prove by having two other wrestlers portray characters that have since left the company. On the face of it, this does appear to be a very stupid move, but it may actually work out to the WWF’s advantage as the fans will surely boo the two new guys unmercifully. If they get the reaction that they are hoping to, the WWF will have created two new characters that should get a lot of negative reaction.

[Playing “Diesel” these days is Glenn Jacob’s better know to WWF followers as the awful Issac Yankem]

The September 23 editions of Monday Nitro and Monday Night Raw were sensational. The highlight on the first hour of Nitro was the WCW tag team title match between Public Enemy and Harlem Heat. When the final verdict was rendered, Public Enemy was declared the new WCW tag team champions by controversial referee Nick Patrick.

During the second hour the nWo took WCW hostage. The nWo took control of the set and ran the entire show. The Giant was the ring announcer; “Billionaire” Ted DiBiase, Hall, Nash, and Hollywood Hogan served as the color commentators; while new CEO of Security, Vince, held Eric Bischoff in check the entire hour.

On Raw, meanwhile, Marc Mero defeated Faarooq to win the vacant Intercontinental title and the WWF introduced their new “Razor.”

Besides having WWF Intercontinental champion their are new WWF tag team champions, too. On September 22, at the Philadelphia “In Your House,” Owen Hart and the British Bulldog defeated Billy and Bart of the Smoking Gunns to win the tag team title. Now the Gunns are at odds with Billy feuding with Bart. Meanwhile, the devious Sunny is the real reason that the Gunns are at odds.

[The lovely Kimona Wanalaya is among the talent being used by the new AWF!]

Brian Armstrong, better known to WWF fans as the Roadie, has returned to the Federation. On his return, Armstrong revealed that it was he and not Double J who actually was the voice behind Jeff Jarrett’s song “With My Baby Tonight.” This time around however, Armstrong will be wrestling and not working as someone’s gofer.

Doug Furnas and Dan Kroffat made their ECW debut and wrestled Sabu and Rob Van Dam in an incredible tag team match. After the 30-minute time limit had expired neither team had captured a fall. Look for Furnas and Krofatt to wind up in the WWF.

Look for the American Wrestling Federation to make its 1996 debut on your local television station within the next few weeks, On September 15, AWF Champion Tito Santana, Sgt. Slaughter, Road Warrior Hawk, Missy Hyatt, Kimona Wanalaya, Ken Resnick, Rico Suave and CEO Paul Alperstein were in New York at the All Star Cade to announce that the AWF were coming back on the scene. With the way WCW and the WWF have been drawing in the past several months it looks like there is room for another organization. That’s all for this issue. Look for us again on your favorite newsstand next month!

Until then, see you at RINGSIDE!

#did I transcribe this whole thing just for the excuse to post Kimona?#yes. sue me #shes just so pretty ok? Im a simple man #magazine scan #magazine transcript

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suspiciousbehaviorproductions · 4 years

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#fake razor ramon #90s wrestling #wwe

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shitloadsofwrestling · 7 years

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USWA Wrestling Card [June 26th, 1996]

Someone on Facebook posted this interesting relic from the mid-90s. The USWA was run by Jim Cornette at the time, and the company had a relationship with the WWF where wrestlers would compete for both entities, and the USWA would sometimes feature guests from the WWF. Several interesting things about this card, as the ‘Loser Leaves the USWA’ match between Diesel and Razor Ramon, which was actually between the fake Diesel (Glenn Jacobs, later known as Kane) and the fake Razor Ramon (also known as Rick Bognar). There’s also the Truth Commission, who debuted in the WWF in 1997, but this incarnation included Tank (also known as Bruiser Mastino). I love that you could potentially win either dinner with “Too Sexy” Brian Christopher or tickets to the July 17th event. I can’t help but wonder which of the two options the winning fan chose!

#pro wrestling #uswa #wwf #1990s #1996 #wwe #dutch mantell #brian christopher #fake diesel #fake razor ramon #the truth commission #mabel #paul diamond #mike samples #aldo montoya #nick dinsmore #flash flanagan

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therealhousewivesofsocialjustice · 3 years

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RHONY Season 13 Episode 3 & RHOBH Season 11 Episode 1

*There's nothing like a good old fashioned Morning After wake up after a Houswives party, although Leah's fake burning man was relatively tame. Or at least the sceaming was intentional, not because they'd all imbibed in too much pinot grigio and made passive aggressive comments to each other. I actually think that Eboni starting in on Ramona with "the help" comment was a good strategy. It's more classist than racist, and frankly that's criticism that Ramona would love to get because it's saying that she's rich. Lu's "that's part of the package with Ramona" is the exact attitude that has been my gripe for eleven god damn years. The other women know, objectively, that Ramona is a bad person. It's not like disliking her or starting fights gets anyone less airtime on these things - why not call her out? Or, furthermore, why continue to be friends with somene like that? Incidentally, I do think Lu has demonstrated personal growth in this area, even though Sonja was, in fact, being passive aggressive (that's more like it!).

*As the ladies move on to their wine tasting (with a group that is 2/5 sober which I thought was an interesting choice), we are reminded, once again, that Eboni K. Williams has the patience of a saint. Especially when she tells Ramona that she gets that she's using "the help" literally becasue they help her. Ramona's stupid but she's not that kind of stupid. She knows it's derogatory, which we know because she knew that Eboni had a problem with that incident before Eboni even said anything. Eboni made her point in this instance - saying "the help" is derogatory. Ramona gets it. Great. She is still a classist, racist, horrible human being.

*Now...Leah takes a different track. Which, I have to confess, is more how I handle these arguments. (By the way, getting aggressive where Eboni was calm and patient is a symptom of our privilege, which I realize.) Eboni's way may be more effective in the moment. But Ramona still views "her help" as beneath her as people. So I'm not sure why explaining it to her calmly and rationally without calling her an awful human being is a preferable response. This is my problem with all of these frankly idiotic and insulting think pieces on how we have to be nice to and reach out to Trump supporters. Because they've showed all of us so much grace for the past four years, or done anything to deserve even an ounce of kindness? Who cares? Ramon is a liar, Trump supporters - all of them, across the board - are disgusting, and I don't care that Leah got aggressive and loud.

Now, off to California...*OC theme song plays*

*Right off the bat, I just want to reitirate, that this blog is going to be about how the Housewives handle social justice, not just...regular justice. So I probably won't be commenting much on Erika and Tom's legal battles. Although personally I'm prone to the Occom's Razor theory, and I think the most likely scenario is...she probably knew something.

*It seems like most of these ladies were responsible during Covid, although I'm not super thrilled about the Kemsley-Umansky sojourn to Mexico.

It was good to see how they were all coping, since they were just finishing up at the beginning of quarantine and things were...well, a bit chaotic, for them and, you know, humanity. I instantly liked Crystal sharins so much of Chinese culture with the women! I also am extremely Type A so she's my kind of gal. I did find it a bit sad that she felt the compulsion to refer to Chinese customs and traditions as "weird."

*There were only two things in this episode that really gave me pause. One was Garcelle's clip from a commentating position where she used the tired, as John Mulaney rightly calls it, "bananas insulting" expression about buying the cow when you get the milk for free. Everyone gives the milk away for free these days henny, sorry to break it to ya. It was a stupid expression then and it's stupid now so let's just not. Also, Erika's reluctance to seeing a mental health profressional. I'm sorry, I thought we were over that? Like, are we seriously still out here like, "ThErApY iS fOr WeAk PeOpLe, I'm BeTtEr ThAn ThAt!" Come on y'all.

*Other than that, not much to report on in Beverly Hills yet, although the previews assure that won't last long. See ya soon! (YES, I know I'm several episodes behind, I will attempt to catch up to be in real time before the RHONY reunion...we'll see!)

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newmusickarl · 3 years

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2021 already seems to be picking up right where 2020 left off, with some absolutely fantastic new music flying straight out of the gates this January. Here’s what’s worth your time from the past week:

Album & EP Recommendations

Album of the Week - Spare Ribs by Sleaford Mods

There is arguably no act more productive in the music business than Nottingham-based duo Sleaford Mods. For social commentary wordsmith Jason Williamson and beat-extraordinaire Andrew Fearn, Spare Ribs marks their eleventh studio album, and their fourth in just six years. You’d think with a turnaround time like that the duo may be running out of ideas, but in fact its quite the opposite – Spare Ribs might just be their best record to date.

Recorded during a three-week period during lockdowns here in the UK, Spare Ribs unsurprisingly sees the Mods observe and take stock of the current state of Britain, as it lies in turmoil amidst the ongoing global pandemic. Never one to shy away from making a political statement and offer a voice to the voiceless, Spare Ribs sees Williamson fully put the Tory government to rights with his razor-sharp tongue and unique wordplay. Opener A New Brick sees Williamson proclaim that “we’re all so Tory-tired” before launching into the bass-driven, Dominic Cummings takedown track, Shortcummings, making it clear early doors that the Mods are out for blood. This is then accentuated on the record’s excellent title track, which Williamson has explained comes from “the idea of the amount of people that died from the first wave of coronavirus; human lives are always expendable to the elites… We’re in a constant state of being spare ribs.”

However outside of the urgent lyricism, this record simply has several of the Mods’ best tracks of their career so far. There’s the darkly comic look at council estate living on Mork N Mindy and album highlight Nudge It, which sees Williamson pointing the barrel squarely at virtue signallers and fake people pretending to care. Both tracks also see Williamson joined by female vocalists, Tor Maries aka Billy Nomates and Amy Taylor from Australian-outfit Amyl The Sniffers, who both add a refreshing new dynamic to the Mods’ signature sound.

All in all, this is up there with the Mods’ best work, with Williamson’s witty but honest look at Tory Britain arriving at the timeliest of moments as we remain trapped in another lockdown. It’s obviously far too early to call this one an Album of the Year contender, but right now it is the most essential listen you’ll find this week.

DEMIDEVIL by Ashnikko

Also worth checking out this week is the debut mixtape from American singer-songwriter and rapper Ashnikko. Bold, brash and a whole lot of fun, Ashnikko’s fusion of pop, punk and hip-hop is refreshing to hear, with DEMIDEVIL also featuring some choice samples from the likes of Kelis and Avril Lavigne, as well as an incredible collaboration with Grimes for the album’s highlight, Cry. The mixtape also climaxes (ahem, not sorry) in the wonderfully titled Clitoris! The Musical, which is both outrageous and hilarious in equal measure.

SUCKAPUNCH by You Me At Six

Elsewhere, British rockers You Me At Six released their seventh studio album SUCKAPUNCH, which is a solid front-to-back listen that also sees the quintet experiment outside their comfort zone slightly with more electronic production on a few tracks. That said, it is the stunning, heartfelt rock ballad Glasgow that offers the album’s highlight.

So No One Told You Life Was Gonna Be This Way by The Xcerts

And finally on the Albums & EPs side this week is the new EP of cover tracks from Scottish rockers The Xcerts. It’s never easy covering iconic songs from the likes of The Cure, The Ramones, Avril Lavigne and, ahem, Starship, but here The Xcerts present these tracks like you’ve never heard them before. Here, The Xcerts deliver the opposite of what you are expecting, turning these songs into gorgeous, restrained acoustic numbers. This is exactly how cover songs should be done, taking the original and crafting something else entirely unique – stunning.

Tracks of the Week

Drivers License by Olivia Rodrigo

One track that I missed from last week’s roundup but like many others have not stopped playing this week, Drivers License by Olivia Rodrigo is undoubtedly the biggest song of the year so far. A career-making debut single, Olivia bares her soul with a tale of heartbreak that anyone can relate to, with the emotional heft of the words powerfully propelled by her stunning vocal performance. Offering shades of Lorde and Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo has immediately made herself one to watch this year thanks to this incredible song.

Dead Butterflies by Architects

Debuted at their triumphant livestreamed show from the Royal Albert Hall at the back end of last year, Dead Butterflies immediately stood out as Architects’ next big soaring anthem. Now released as the studio cut, the track is even more glorious than I remember, lifted by some stirring strings, jubilant horns and some pitch perfect production. Roll on the album release!

All of Me by Maximo Park

And finally, Newcastle indie legends released the best teaser track to date for their forthcoming album, Nature Always Wins, in the form of All of Me. Featuring an infectious chorus, a gleeful melody and a flying little keyboard riff, this is a track to remind the world why they fell in love with Maximo Park in the first place.

#new music #best new music #sleaford mods #jason williamson #andrew fearn #nudge it #amy taylor #amyl & the sniffers #spare ribs #ashnikko #demidevil #suckapunch #you me at six #the xcerts #olivia rodrigo #drivers license #maximo park #architects

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toneknight716 · 3 years

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Even though he was a white dude playing a fake Cuban, Razor Ramon was one of the illest wrestlers of the 90s. Peace to Scott Hall. Check out the full beat on #youtube and #soundcloud by clicking the link in the bio. Thank you for listening! .. .. .. .. .. .. #beats #jazz #soul #art #hiphop #instrumental #instrumentalhiphop #lofi #lofihiphop #lofibeats #boombap #boombapbeats #producer #musicproducer #musicproduction #beatmaker #beatmakers #producers #sampling #sampleflip #samplebeats #boombapproducers #blackmusic #blackart #lofibeat #hiphopmusic #wwe #razorramon https://www.instagram.com/p/CMSPnq_gfKF/?igshid=11mpc7561331q

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gdwessel · 5 years

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Fighting Spirit Unleashed 2019 Night 2 - 9/28/2019: Tiger Hattori’s USA Retirement; RIP “Big Titan” Richard Bognar (1/16/1970 - 9/20/2019)

The second night of Fighting Spirit Unleashed just wrapped up in NYC, and you can see it on NJPWWorld in a little while if you didn’t catch it live. The show itself was delayed 90 minutes due to, allegedly, an issue and misunderstanding with obtaining an ambulance for the show. There were reports of unhappy fans but for a rescue by Mr. Tezuka of NJPW apologizing, and Rocky Romero giving a pep talk and T-Shirts to the crowd. Once the show got going, the crowd was hot for nearly every match.

- 9/28/2019, Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, NY (NJPWWorld)

TJP [FREE] d. Ren Narita (Pinoy Stretch, 8:49)

Lance Archer [SZKG] d. Karl Fredericks (EBD Claw, 7:37)

Juice Robinson & Mikey Nicholls [CHAOS] d. Clark Connors & Alex Coughlin (Nicholls > Coughlin, Mikeybomb, 8:27)

Tama Tonga, Tanga Loa & Jado [Bullet Club] d. Rocky Romero, SHO & YOH [CHAOS] (Tonga > Romero, Killshot, 10:46)

Hiroshi Tanahashi, Ricky Morton [FREE] & Robert Gibson [FREE] d. Tetsuya Naito, Shingo Takagi & BUSHI [Los Ingobernables] (Tanahashi > BUSHI, High Fly Flow, 10:18)

Hirooki Goto [CHAOS], Tomohiro Ishii [CHAOS] & Amazing Red [FREE] d. Jay White, Chase Owens & Gedo [Bullet Club] (Goto > Gedo, GTR, 11:59)

NEVER Openweight Championship: KENTA [Bullet Club] © d. YOSHI-HASHI [CHAOS] (Go2Sleep, 25:03) - KENTA succeeds his 1st defense

SANADA & EVIL [Los Ingobernables] d. Kazuchika Okada [CHAOS] & Kota Ibushi (EVIL > Ibushi, EVIL STO, 18:46)

EVIL cut a promo welcoming NYC to the Darkness World, and that New York City is Evil. The title match went way too long, and really stunk, frankly. A run-in from the retiring Tiger Hattori had to rescue it. Earlier, Hattori had a brief sending off ceremony from the USA, with his family present, flowers presented and everything, including a brief speech from Tiger. His final match in the USA was the Tanahashi/Rock’n’Roll Express v. LIJ 6-man, and that was by far the best match of the night. I take back everything bad I said about the Rock’n’Roll Express in 2019 because they were absolutely fun, including Ricky Morton hitting a tope suicida on Shingo. What a massively fun match. Overall the show was fun, the crowd was into it, and was a lot better than it had any right to be. Other than the delays, the camera work was WWE levels of gawdawful, so hey NJPW if you’re out there, maybe don’t use that crew next time.

Earlier tonight it was making the rounds that the former “Big Titan” Richard Bognar had died at the far too young age of 49. Cause of death was not announced. Bognar spent many years in FMW, often alongside Mike Awesome in his Gladiator years. Infamously, Bognar was also the “Fake Razor Ramon” that the WWF trotted out in Vince’s infinite wisdom, as a stand-in for Scott Hall. If you don’t remember this, you can imagine how well it went over. (His partner as “Fake Diesel,” Glen Jacobs, turned out OK in the end...)

Following that debacle, Bognar would find himself in NJPW, back in his Big Titan identity, as part of the nWo Japan stable. A serious neck injury he suffered in February 1998 in a match against Shinya Hashimoto would leave him limited, and he never fully recovered. His final match in wrestling was in NJPW on 4/23/1999 at Tokyo Ryogoku Kokugikan, teaming with fellow nWo members Keiji Muto & Hiroyoshi Tenzan, defeating Tatsumi Fujnami, Manabu Nakanishi & Osamu Nishimura. Afterwards he would briely run a wrestling school in Calgary, Alberta, with Bad News Brown.

Our condolences to his family and friends at this time.

The tour wraps up at the ECW Arena tomorrow.

- 9/29/2019, 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, PA

Rocky Romero [CHAOS] v. Clark Connors

Mikey Nicholls [CHAOS] v. Karl Fredericks

Alex Coughlin v. Lance Archer [SZKG]

Ren Narita v. Amazing Red [FREE]

Juice Robinson, SHO [CHAOS] & YOH [CHAOS] v. Tetsuya Naito, SANADA & Shingo Takagi [Los Ingobernables]

Kota Ibushi & TJP [FREE] v. EVIL & BUSHI [Los Ingobernables]

Elimination Match: Hiroshi Tanahashi, Hirooki Goto [CHAOS], Tomohiro Ishii [CHAOS], YOSHI-HASHI [CHAOS], Ricky Morton [FREE] & Robert Gibson [FREE] v. Jay White, KENTA, Tama Tonga, Tanga Loa, Chase Owens & Gedo [Bullet Club]

#NJPW #new japan pro wrestling #Fighting Spirit Unleashed #njpwfs #Tiger Hattori #rock n roll express #ricky morton #robert gibson #evil #kota ibushi #richard bognar #big titan #nwo #nwo japan

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wrestlingtimemachine · 7 years

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Fake Diesel and Fake Razor This never should've made it beyond a joke in the writer's room. What the fuck was wrong with Vince that he would've greenlit this? These are the actions of a desperate ex.

#Wrestling Time Machine #WWF #Fake #Big Daddy Cool #Diesel #The Bad Guy #Razor Ramon #Kane #Glenn Jacobs #It Was So SOOOO Bad #Diesel looks like he's got jheri curls

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littletroubledgrrrl · 4 months

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#rick bognar #fake razor ramon

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rawiswhore · 9 months

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RockaBilly x Fem Reader- "Kiss Me"

I hope you readers won't be offended over this fanfiction, but viewer discretion is advised.

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In 1997, World Wrestling Federation tagteam the Smoking Gunns had broken up, where both members tried embarking on solo/singles wrestling careers.

During that year, former Smoking Gunns member Billy Gunn got a new gimmick and became known as RockaBilly---a country western singer whose manager was the Honky Tonk Man.

On a "Monday Night Raw" episode that aired in March of 1997, Hunter Hearst Helmsley had a match against RockaBilly, and you were Hunter's valet.

After walking up the stairs that lead to the ring and carefully walking above the rings apron and next to the ropes, you walked to an area where RockaBilly was standing near in the ring.

You began to shout at RockaBilly and berate him, and RockaBilly noticed you near the ring.

RockaBilly strolled to you calmly, and Hunter didn't really walk behind RockaBilly to attack him.

In fact, Hunter was selling a wrestling move and making it look painful, but there's a reason why Hunter hasn't walked behind RockaBilly to attack him.

Once RockaBilly stood right in front of you and very close to you, as you were still squabbling at him, RockaBilly's hands grabbed the sides of your head and pulled your head and face closer to his, where your mouth locked in between his mouth and he kissed you.

RockaBilly's eyes shut as your mouth attached to his, whereas many people in the audience were cheering and outraged seeing him kissing you.

You, on the other hand, were panicking and freaking out, your hands trembling while your arms flailed and waved.

No matter how much you wanted to be freed, RockaBilly wouldn't let you go.

RockaBilly then pulled your face away from his face, where your lips separated from his mouth.

Your face was completely shocked and appalled after RockaBilly had kissed you, your mouth agape and your eyebrows raised while your eyes were wide.

RockaBilly removed his hands off of your head, but Hunter saw what happened to you and HHH was furious.

After RockaBilly kissed you, he turned around and resumed the match with Hunter.

You, on the other hand, left the ring by walking towards the stairs and walking down them, where you continued watching this match.

At least it wasn't Henry Godwinn or the Headbangers kissing you, that's really disgusting.

To be honest, RockaBilly is handsome.

Not to mention, many male wrestlers could've kissed you in this moment.

Shawn Michaels could've done it, although by the end of the year he, Hunter and you would form a wrestling trio.

Brian Pillman could definitely have done it, but he and Hunter would eventually have many matches together this year.

Bret Hart and Davey Boy Smith probably aren't the types to do this.

Even that infamous Fake Razor Ramon from late 1996 and early 1997 could've kissed you, but would you readers want to read about that notorious fake Razor Ramon?

Leif Cassidy did pull your face in for a kiss last year at a WWF house show.

While RockaBilly may have kissed Sunny last year, Henry Godwinn kissed Sunny and Chyna.

In professional wrestling, there are moments where a wrestler will kiss the opponent's female valet or manager to embarrass them.

Examples would be when Shawn Michaels pulled Sunny's face in for a kiss, when Henry Godwinn pulled Sunny's and Chyna's faces closer for him to kiss them, Rowdy Roddy Piper kissing Sensational Sherri, when Billy Gunn leaned down and kissed Sunny, and when the Bodydonnas' new manager Cloudy kissed Leif Cassidy to embarrass him (Cloudy was a man dressed in drag).

#rockabilly #hunter hearst helmsley #billy gunn #1997 #90s #wwf

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daleisgreat · 6 years

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Scott Hall: Living on a Razor’s Edge

After pondering over ideas and looking over my notes the last couple of days, I concluded I had no idea how to go about my entry for today’s blog that is for WWE’s 2016 BluRay release of Scott Hall: Living on a Razor’s Edge (trailer). I am presuming most people reading this probably are well aware of some of Scott Hall’s personal struggles throughout the years. WWE’s documentary on his life and career attempts to cover it all within 81 minutes. If you have not seen it yet, nor have that time to spare then before reading on I encourage you to at least check out ESPN’s much more condensed 18 minute mini-doc they did of Hall on a 2011 edition of E:60. That E:60 piece was where Hall first publicly revealed he inadvertently shot and killed a man during his job as a bouncer when he attempted to grab a gun away from a person who pulled a gun on him. Living on a Razor’s Edge opens with Hall revisiting the scene where it happened and him getting instantly emotional over the memories. Hall’s mother and brother are interviewed throughout and both mentioned how that day forever changed him. It is the first of many dark tales from Hall’s personal life that he reflects on.

From that hook of an opening scene the feature then transitions to Hall’s childhood where he reminisces growing up as a military kid and always being on the move. Hall recalls idolizing Dusty Rhodes in the Florida territory is what convinced him to go into wrestling. I saw Hall interviewed in a few other nWo and Kliq retrospectives released by WWE over the years, but in those I believe he never touches on his early days in the business debuting in the Kansas territory as part of the American Starship tag team and to more success as a tag team champ with Curt Henning in the AWA. Seeing that vintage footage accompanied with Hall elucidating about how Dusty got him his first pair of wrestling boots and how he refused to be AWA champ because he realized the promotion was a sinking ship he wanted to abandon were fun new anecdotes from Hall I never heard before. Seeing Hall talk about his meager success as the Diamond Studd in WCW was another interesting early facet of his career. DDP, Kevin Nash, Shawn Michaels and Vince McMahon were all interviewed here about their early memories of Hall and provide extra quotes on why this made Hall more determined to land a job in WWE. Hearing Hall and Vince remember the days of coming up with the Razor Ramon character and brainstorming the ideas of the iconic vignettes introducing Razor to the WWE in 1992 are more noteworthy highlights from the interviews here.

Hall goes into detail of his early WWE years with some key angles such as the first televised WWE ladder match at Wrestlemania 10 and when 1-2-3 Kid got the shocking upset in ’93 that is still an iconic memory of RAW all these years later (it even made WWE’s official list of Top 25 RAW Moments for RAW’s 25th anniversary earlier this year). One early highlight from the Razor run was when Hall discusses appearing on Jerry Springer for a surprise visit to children with AIDS where Hall spontaneously gives his Intercontinental Title to the kids because it felt like the right thing to do and hearing Hall and Springer interviewed here remember that moment along with the footage is pretty powerful stuff. From here the doc then jumps to the controversial time when Hall and Nash left WWE in 1996. Both of them and McMahon break down how it all came to pass, and hearing them all give their side of the story is still fascinating to this day. I say that because I still recall being a huge WWF kid at that time and getting crushed upon hearing both guys were leaving the company to go to the ‘competition.’ Yes, Hall makes sure to address the introduction of the fake Razor and Diesel later on in 1996 too. A part of me wishes WWE would have done a separate deep dive on Hall’s four year run as Razor Ramon. There were so many memorable feuds they did not address in the doc. I would have loved to hear Hall recall feuding with Jeff Jarrett, Diesel and Goldust for the Intercontinental title. Also from watching the bonus matches it brought back memories of how Hall was a master of ring psychology and he perfected the gradual build of a match where there were several times where fans were quiet at the beginning to becoming a hot crowd by the match’s final moments. HBK and Nash both have some interesting quotes about Hall’s wrestling IQ and how they helped him during those old early-to-mid90s years.

WWE has already done a couple nWo biographies so I was curious to how they would cover his career in WCW on Hall’s solo documentary. I like how they went about it as they had Nash, Hall and Waltman all interviewed and they give the abbreviated version of their nWo heydays reigning supreme over the Monday night rating wars. Hall touches on a couple of things he introduced to his solo-act in WCW such as the pre-match ‘survey’ and how Rocky II was the impetus for ‘Hey, Yo.’ Hall and Eric Bishoff both recount the art-imitates-life storyline where WCW brought Hall’s behind-the-scenes drinking problems as a on-screen WCW storyline and hearing Bishoff regret that booking decision is another poignant scene in this feature. Hall essentially admits to those dark days carrying over to his return to the WWE in 2002 and why it did not last that long. There is no mention of Hall’s handful of brief TNA/Impact stints, which is probably for the best. Growing up as a wrestling fan and keeping up with Hall’s struggles over the years made the final chapters of the doc especially powerful. There is a montage of the many arrests and controversies that Hall made news in from 2002-2012. Nash has some key details of Hall at his lowest moments and how he stuck by his side that stuck with me. Triple H, Michaels, and Bishoff also all chime in here about these hard years for Hall. Footage is shown of the 2011 independent wrestling show were Hall appeared heavily intoxicated and hearing Nash, Hunter and Hall all comment on it being a new low for Hall brought back many sad memories. This all was happening during the 2000s when a rapid number of early adult-to-middle aged wrestler deaths were transpiring and I recall wondering countless times during those years how in the heck Scott Hall was still alive.

Thankfully, there is redemption for Hall and it is tastefully covered here where Jake Roberts and DDP are interviewed about taking Scott Hall into DDP’s rehabilitation house and helped Hall kick his addictions. Hearing them and Hall reflect on this was a much needed and gratifying feel-good moment that culminates with Hall being interviewed again at that club where the shooting went down where he owns the guilt he carried all those years in the defining moment of this feature. The doc then winds down with how Hall got inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame and now helps coaches at the WWE Performance Center and how he helped got his son Cody started in the business too. Living on a Razor’s Edge is easily one of the best of documentaries WWE has made. There are many gaps they could have filled in on his in-ring career but it feels wrong to ask for that given what Hall has went through and recovered from in his personal life. Since this is a home video release, WWE gave it their usual jam-packed assortment of bonus features with eight minutes of deleted scenes, the entirety of the several introductory Razor Ramon introductory vignettes and 27 matches, five of which that are exclusive to the BluRay.

Deletes scenes highlights have Nash detesting the mask he used for his ‘Oz’ character in WCW, Hall’s memories of wrestling his buddy, Justin Credible on a ECW PPV in 2000 and Michaels recounting Hall giving Nash some great in-ring advice he promptly followed. I have only seen a handful of Hall’s pre-WWF matches before this BluRay so seeing several matches from those days and how fast he evolved in the ring was a treat. I did not know Hall already had the Razor’s Edge perfected as the Diamond Death Drop in WCW. Since that is not addressed in the doc, I will link you to this clip instead where Hall reveals its origins. Other standout matches in the extras include the aforementioned stunning upset at the hands of the 1-2-3 Kid, his ’93 WWE Title match against Bret Hart, a ’93 Coliseum Video bout against Michaels I have long forgotten, his first IC title win over Rick Martel and his still-iconic ladder match against HBK at Wrestlemania X. From 1993 through most of 1995 I fell out of wrestling for a bit due to being on the losing end of sibling wars for control of the television and the only wrestling I had access to during that time was a videotape of SummerSlam ’94 one of my dad’s coworkers taped for me. Razor vs. Diesel on that show was one of my favorite matches for many years (along with the Owen/Bret cage match!), so to see that included in this compilation earns bonus points from me!

Hall’s nWo highlights here contain a bunch of matches that have hokey finishes or disappointing run-ins and the only WCW matches included here that stood out are the Outsiders first tag titles win over Harlem Heat and Hall having an awesome match against Sting for the WCW World Title at Uncensored ’98. Hall’s match against Austin at Wrestlemania X-8 holds up better than I recalled, and it features Hall taking the best Stone Cold Stunner ever. Of the five BluRay exclusive matches I give high nods to check out his SummerSlam ’93 match against Ted Dibiase and a ladder match I completely forgot about that saw Hall square off against Bam Bam Bigelow from a 1999 episode of Nitro. As you can tell by now I am giving Scott Hall: Living on a Razor’s Edge the highest of recommendations. Aside from one of the best documentaries WWE Home Video has produced, it has a ton of bonus matches that proves how Hall was one of the best workers of the ‘90s. Hall’s personal story is one that is a must-see that shows the highest highs and the lowest lows one can achieve, and to see Hall escape from that dark tunnel is a heartwarming tale well worth the viewing for any wrestling fan. Past Wrestling Blogs Best of WCW Clash of Champions Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 2 Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 3 Biggest Knuckleheads Bobby The Brain Heenan Daniel Bryan: Just Say Yes Yes Yes DDP: Positively Living Dusty Rhodes WWE Network Specials ECW Unreleased: Vol 1 ECW Unreleased: Vol 2 ECW Unreleased: Vol 3 Eric Bishoff: Wrestlings Most Controversial Figure For All Mankind Goldberg: The Ultimate Collection Impact Wresting Presents: Best of Hulk Hogan Its Good to Be the King: The Jerry Lawler Story The Kliq Rules Ladies and Gentlemen My Name is Paul Heyman Legends of Mid South Wrestling Macho Man: The Randy Savage Story Memphis Heat NXT Greatest Matches Vol 1 OMG Vol 2: Top 50 Incidents in WCW History OMG Vol 3: Top 50 Incidents in ECW History Owen: Hart of Gold RoH Supercard of Honor 2010-Present ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Sting: Into the Light Straight Outta Dudley-ville: Legacy of the Dudley Boyz Straight to the Top: Money in the Bank Anthology Superstar Collection: Zach Ryder TNA Lockdown 2005-2016 Top 50 Superstars of All Time Tough Enough: Million Dollar Season True Giants Ultimate Fan Pack: Roman Reigns Ultimate Warrior: Always Believe War Games: WCWs Most Notorious Matches Warrior Week on WWE Network Wrestlemania 3: Championship Edition Wrestlemania 28-Present The Wrestler (2008) Wrestling Road Diaries Too Wrestling Road Diaries Three: Funny Equals Money Wrestlings Greatest Factions WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2017

#Scott Hall #Wrestling #razor ramon #WWE #wcw #nwo #curt hennig #Diamond Dallas Page #Kevin Nash #Sean Waltman #Shawn Michaels #eric bischoff #Vince McMahon

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fromtheringapron · 6 years

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WWF SummerSlam 1994

Date: August 29, 1994

Location: The United Center in Chicago, Illinois

Attendance: 23,000

Commentary: Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

Results:

1. Bam Bam Bigelow & Irwin R. Schyster (with Ted DiBiase) defeated The Headshrinkers (Fatu & Samu) (with Afa and Capatain Lou Albano) via disqualification.

2. WWF Women’s Championship Match: Alundra Blayze (champion) defeated Bull Nakano (with Luna Vachon).

3. WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Razor Ramon (with Walter Peyton) defeated Diesel (champion) (with Shawn Michaels) to win the title.

4. Tatanka defeated Lex Luger.

5. Jeff Jarrett defeated Mabel (with Oscar).

6. Steel Cage Match for the WWF World Heavyweight Championship: Bret Hart (champion) defeated Owen Hart.

7. The Undertaker (with Paul Bearer) defeated The Undertaker (with Ted DiBiase).

Analysis

SummerSlam 1994 is pretty underrated, although it’s easy to see why it’s never received the praise it deserves. As this show takes place in the mid ‘90s, the wrestling business is stuck in struggle city, and the WWF isn’t an exception. The glory days of the Rock ’n’ Wrestling era are long gone and in their place is the New Generation which, despite putting the spotlight on the likes of Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels, is churning out a number of one-note characters who fail to catch on with fans. Though this is the first pay-per-view following Vince McMahon’s exoneration on steroid distribution charges, the resulting bad publicity from the scandal has cost the WWF millions of dollars in a time already marked by low revenue. With all that messiness as a backdrop, this show is seemingly fated to not be fondly remembered.

Much like the year’s King of the Ring, a similarly underrated show, this edition of SummerSlam is also known for its notoriously bad main event which pits The Undertaker against, well, The Undertaker. In some ways, the whole fake Undertaker storyline is a classic example of campy ‘90s WWF cheese. Heck, the moment Paul Bearer opens a giant gold urn to summon a ray of white light feels like something straight out of an attraction at Disney World. Unfortunately, the actual match is a total dud, which brings the previously hot Chicago crowd to complete silence. Their indifference is birthed out of confusion more than anything. It’s obvious Ted DiBiase’s Undertaker is the fake, so where’s the fun in watching the real one beating the crap out of him for 12 minutes? You can just tell from the inflection in Vince McMahon’s voice on commentary that he knows this thing is a flop from the opening bell. The build to the match is also hampered by skits featuring Leslie Nielsen trying to track down the real Undertaker, which aren’t even as funny as some of the Zucker brothers’ worst parody films.

Despite these blunders, it’s still a solid show overall. All three title matches here range from fun to fantastic. Though it has its detractors (and I can only suggest they remain in hiding), the steel cage match between Bret and Owen Hart is one of the best ever. I personally love how it puts emphasis on escaping the cage, which you’d think would be the obvious objective but most cage matches don’t play with the idea enough. The flurry of escape attempts by both men is still just as exciting to watch now and even if the match goes over 30 minutes, it’s never boring. The ending is particularly creative, with Owen hanging upside down like a brat stuck on a jungle gym, a poetic end to the character’s story arc over the previous nine months. The Intercontinental and Women’s title matches are forgotten gems, the latter marking one of the brightest moments for the WWF’s sorely underutilized mid ‘90s women’s division. I’d ramble on how Alundra Blayze deserved better, but then I’d just be stating the obvious.

Opinions vary on Tatanka’s heel turn on this show, and it did wind up killing his WWF career in the long-run, but it’s somewhat clever for its time. Of course, we in 2018 would’ve seen the turn coming a mile away the instant Tatanka really started harping on Lex Luger about his alleged involvement with the Million Dollar Corporation. But for 1994? Kinda shocking, and no doubt it pulled the wool over the eyes of the WWF’s younger audience. It’s been argued Luger turning heel instead would’ve been the better result for both the storyline and Luger’s career. I certainly agree but that doesn’t take away the actual turn, which solidifies Tatanka as a heel pretty well. The image of him stuffing money down the throat of an Americana-attired Luger is killer.

There are a couple of interesting bits of trivia unique to this show as well. Firstly, on a sad note, this is the last WWF pay-per-view appearance of Randy Savage, who stands as the last remaining bastion of the previous era. It’s a pretty inconsequential curtain call to one of the biggest and most iconic superstars in the company’s history, as he only makes a brief appearance here. He’ll be in WCW by the end of the year and never truly make his way back into the fold. This also remains the only WWF/E show to take place at the United Center, with the company sticking to the Rosemont Horizon as its Chicago go-to ever since. Fortunately, the change in venue here doesn’t hinder the Chicago fans from being their typically great selves. Well, except for the main event, of course. But a dull contest between two dead men needs a dead crowd to match, I guess.

My Random Notes

This show sees the debut of The Undertaker’s new purple look, often dubbed as “Purple Taker,” which a lot of people dislike but I personally love. Still don’t know what possessed them to change the color of his attire though. I feel like the mindset in the ‘90s was basically “Mmm, you know what would make this thing look more modern? Purple!”

Even if the fake Undertaker thing was a bust, it’s weird how it didn’t stop them from doing pretty much the same thing with his brother Kane 12 years later.

The dead giveaway to Tatanka’s heel turn is clearly his bangs, am I right?

During the opening match, Vince McMahon translates Afa’s words as “Domino’s delivers!” You can always count on ‘90s Vince to drop some corny dad humor and a shameless tie-in to the sponsors all at once.

Kinda surprised they brought Davey Boy Smith back into the fold immediately following the steroid scandal considering his firing two years before was due to that exact thing. At least he had enough sense to update his look into that of a jacked Eddie Vedder just in time for the show.

Gotta love Diana Hart Smith going into business for herself by flopping over the guard rail along with her husband. Get it, girl.

As if you needed proof of the WWF’s casual racism in the ‘90s, poor Bull Nakano is saddled with the old Orient Express music for her entrance, the same music given to a bunch of other Asian wrestlers around the same time period.

I couldn’t help but notice: 1.) How out-of-touch Men on a Mission feels to the actual rap scene in 1994, which was increasingly leaning towards gangsta rap, and 2.) That there’s little to no evidence here that Mabel will take part in the worst SummerSlam main event ever just a year later.

I’m a bit of an Adam Bomb mark so I’m a little sad his match with Kwang was relegated to pre-show status and that we were robbed of seeing him defeat his blood rival, as I’m sure that’s what the whole world was dying to see.

On the Million Dollar Corporation: For a stable that could’ve been truly great, I don’t think it quite took off as intended. It feels like everyone who joined became this boring, diluted version of themselves and most of the storylines involving them totally dragged. So of course they went on to suck up a large bulk of TV time in the year following this show, including a pivotal role in the main event of WrestleMania 11. Such is the tale of WWF’s creative woes in the mid ‘90s.

#summerslam #bret hart #the undertaker #wwf

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