#expressly important to and needed by them. and the pandemic I think has robbed me of regular situations and has thereby messed with my brain

[excusemebutiquit]

Pandemic is messing up my perception of my self within interpersonal relationships

#y’all I literally I keep getting stuck in this this mental cycle #of ‘do my friends love me?’ to ‘yes my friends love me’ to ‘they may love me but I’m not as important to them as they are to me’ #and like ‘my friends don’t love me as much as I love them’ #which is extremely unhelpful at best #and like I know I KNOW my friends love me so much and I love my friends so much #and I am important to them #so it’s really ridiculous that I’m getting stuck in these loops of thought #but in related news I’m thinking a damaging friendship I had from middle/high school has been more damaging to me than I previously thought #because friendship with her was a constant ‘you’re not as important to me as I am to you’ and like in addition I think she messed up my #sense of how to support my friends because I adjusted myself to supporting her but like not everyone need supported like her and in fact #most people don’t. so like idk but I just need to see people more and be in their presence daily and have situations where I can be #expressly important to and needed by them. and the pandemic I think has robbed me of regular situations and has thereby messed with my brain #my post #thank u turgle for taking in my negative thoughts once again. #I also get stuck in a loop of like ‘my problems aren’t as important as other people’s’ which is true sometimes like I am not having shelter #food or money problems atm. but that doesn’t mean this doesn’t suck right? #sorry all I post about is my problems I’ll reblog regular content soon