#excuse me I am here

[devilmaydaycare]

Elegy Jones & Avandra ||

We all must find our own way forward

#elegy jones #avandra #dmdc #web weaving #I have no big words #I just love my girl very very much #excuse me I am here

[humble-wayside-flower]

Anyone know how many boops I have to give to unlock the other two paws??

#excuse me I am here #please they are so cute

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[p4nishers]

crowley, drunk off his ass: and i was yk just some fucked up soul born in cold and rain but he was my fucking sunlight or whatever

hozier, frantically writing on a napkin: HHHMMMM TELL ME MORE

#hozier is INSANELY azicrow coded and i am going feral over the implications that crowley heard the lines 'if the heavens ever did speak she #the last true mouthpiece' LIKE EXCUSE ME????????? #'u called me angel for the first time my heart leapt from me' and crowley cries himself to sleep #'heaven is not fit to house a love like u and i' and crowley projectile vomits onto the floor #'it cant be unlearned i have known the warmth of your doorways' 'i slithered here from eden just to hide outside ur door' 'though i burn how #could i fall when i am lifted by every word u say to me' and his ass is GONE he has EXPLODED #good omens #inefabble husbands #good omens s2 #good omens season 2 #azicrow #hozier #crowley #aziraphale

[galedekarios]

seeing a post that basically confirmed the obvious disparity in content made me think more about a scene i would have liked to see with gale and that i've been thinking about for a while now.

i always felt a bit sad that his condition is so often treated as a joke by the fandom and to a lesser extent by the game itself. i always thought that this is partially down to the fact that we don't truly get so see gale actively be in pain due to his condition, other than brief glimpses and hints:

we do hear the urgency in his voice when he explains when and why he needs an artefact and the relief in his voice when the protag chooses to help him.

we see it, too, when he is afflicted by the arcane hunger condition:

we get glimpses of it when he consumes an artefact:

he mentions it, too, in his dialogues, but it's very much downplayed by gale or phrased in such a way that is meant to overplay it with humour, or perhaps even to distance himself from it by using metaphors:

that is until we actually get to see it through his eyes, if only for the briefest of moments:

*Its teeth, its claws, it's unstoppable as it digs through and becomes part of you. And gods, it is ever-hungry...*

gale also has an idle animation where he--quite often--reaches up to touch the orb, perhaps because it flares with pain, like an old wound is wont to do:

(gif by @bladeofavernus)

from the last conversation we have with gale, and after catching all of these little moments of things he says or does with how the orb affects him, we learn that consuming the magic from artefacts no longer has any effect at all. the only solution that tara and he were able to find no longer works:

it would scare him and imbalance him, and it would finally destabilise the orb, make it more volatile.

but what happens in the game after that? the orb becoming volatile enough for the artefacts to no longer have an effect has no consequences at all: you are able to do the tiefling party, all quests in the underdark, the entirety of the grymforge, and, should you choose to do so, the entirety of the mountain pass and rosymorn monastery without an incident at all or any mention of the condition itself/any discomfort or fear it might cause.

there's no urgency here, no follow-up, to what the narrative set up... and then we meet deus ex elminster and the orb is stabilised, and the urgency that came before literally is handwaved out of existence.

what i would have liked instead to happen--or at least to bridge the gap between the artefacts no longer working and elminster stabilising it to be used on mystra's behalf--is the following:

i think it would have been nice to have a scene with gale where we do get to see--on a much smaller scale--him losing control over the orb, have the protag and the companions see what he is trying desperately to keep contained within himself, what gnaws at him, what continues to haunt him.

it could happen perhaps after a particular gruelling and intense fight--and there are enough of that in the underdark and at the mountain pass. it could have been a ! conversation, providing both friendship and romance content.

have the orb act up after expending so much energy to manipulate the weave to the fullest of his abilities, have gale manage to reign it in, but barely, show that it takes a lot of power and effort for him to do so.

that it hurts, with none of gale's metaphors to hide behind or jokes to play it off.

have the audience truly see the gravity of what he is going through.

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 spoilers #i think it also would have made the scene with elminster and mystra's demands even more impactful than it already was #also i am a sucker for parallels but gale falling to his knees again and tav pulling him up again as on on-going motive makes me Feral #anyhow excuse the long meandering here #many thoughts #but my brain is literally soup rn #ch: gale dekarios #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #meta: mybg3 #long post for ts

[esprei]

I've felt a little silly still face masking and seeing everyone else not but I can't risk getting COVID and getting my family sick.

So, what kind of facemask do you think the train brothers would wear?

I feel like they'd have something train related! for some reason I thought it would be neat to have ones with train tracks that match their natural mouth expressions - like so :D (kinda goes along with the theme of their coats too ;w;):

or, alternatively:

Thomas the Tank Engine

(stay safe out there, anon!!)

#anonymous #asks #submas #subway boss ingo #subway boss emmet #my art #i know the pointing at mouth pose thing here is always for smiles but #they gotta be in sync with each other :') #ingo can do this as a treat #also excuse any silliness from me #i am very sleepy

[sillyfairygarden]

they’re a world class singer, with a sold out show

#zombiecleo loving hours yet again #JAZZ AU JAZZ AU. brain orbiting 10 miles an hour (rather slow) but zooming up with other hermit designs to complement them #(this is a thinly veiled excuse to draw hermits in fancy clothes. i am guilty as charged your honour.) #zombiecleo fanart #zombiecleo #mcyt fanart #hermitcraft fanart #mcyt #fanart #thellos art corner #if you need me ill be over here in the corner uhhhh screaming #THESE ARE TECHNICALLY DOODLES SO IGNORE THE MISSING HANDS. #jazz au #<now featuring a tag! oh boy i wonder why

[aquanutart]

#pokemon #pokemon sv #pokemon scarlet and violet #grusha #cetitan #aquanutart #i was like oh the new ice gym leader has such a great design i hope i have a chance to draw her one day #*reads the wiki page* excuse me what. oh i accidentally drew him immediately #he has an adorable round snow whale thing friend what am i supposed to do #anyway thanks pokemon i feel slightly less upset about it being WINTER #I DON'T LIKE WINTER #i prefer water in a liquid not solid state #if it's not at least 70F/21C and sunny it's winter to me #anyway grusha and i would unfortunately live in different worlds because i cant hack these arctic temperatures (= less than aforementioned #IT GETS BELOW FREEZING HERE HELP ME I'M A FROG #i am fine don't worry about me. i am being dramatic. i have survived many winters i am a strong frog #TWO MORE MONTHS #HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

everyone gaze upon them

#theyre so cute <3 #i guarantee that in less than an hour they Will be duking it out #i got the sweetest fuckin cats ever ngl #i wake up with one peacefully on my legs and the other's spine compressing my windpipe <3 #i have to forcibly remove them if i wanna get up in the morning <3 #little guys... little beasts in my house... #i go into a new room. i am Followed by tiny creatures that just want to vibe near me #i am Complete #photos from the bog #cats of tumblr #Excuse The Me-Shaped Shadow #i love having animals in the house. just. damn. there's a fuckin Beast in here and we get along #TWO BEASTS!!! #and they get along too!!!! we're all buddies its great! #cats my beloved <3

[devilmaydaycare]

No One Is Alone || The Devil May Day Care 

#dmdc #thanks to Hannah for both looking this over #and for helping source the quotes and art #I simply love our little party so much #<333 #excuse me I am here #emmett stentradgard #david halloway #corvus ailanos #caro brennan #antheia dulinnel #fluor astrodath #surya #elegy jones #arlayna giseralas

[humble-wayside-flower]

Portraits of a Perfect Baby 🥰💛

#the group chat gets these regularly #so I thought I'd do a little photo dump here #her name is Molly #I adore her #excuse me I am here

[clickityweasel]

if you see me posting those gay scientists from pacific rim in the year of our lord 2022 no you don’t actually

#Newton Geiszler #hermann gottlieb #Pacific Rim #newmann #waves to anyone still alive and caring about pacific rim. hi. im here. im in the pit. #i am simply thinking about them #theyre in the icecream churner (my brain) #was going to colour this and then. idk. no excuse im lazy #didnt wanna do the tattoos #does make me want more tattoos tho.....

[andy-clutterbuck]

Andrew Lincoln as Christopher Lovell These Foolish Things (2006)

#here ya go anons!!! #THE COSTUMES #Andrew Lincoln #* #These Foolish Things #i dig the stache with the time period and the clothes ok #sue me #i'll win #excuse me but the nose™ #i am defenseless against a man in a waistcoat #HIS BONE STRUCTURE #THE HATS #ANDY LOVES HATS #THE COATS THE SUITS #BYE #THE UNIFORM #I NEED TO GO #and stop yelling #also he was so soft so soft

[erikatsu]

to those who are unfollowing people who are reblogging/speaking/doing what they can to spread word about gaza and the genocide, you are part of the problem. it enrages me– and not because you’re unfollowing. but because you are actively choosing to ignore it. i don’t have a big following, or even a decent one compared to some of my mutuals, and i dont care if i lose every single one of you if it means supporting those still fighting for their lives and those who have already lost them. i may not be able to donate, or to go to the protests, but i can AND I WILL use what little following i have here to do what i can.

do better than our world leaders. do better than what you currently are. because everyone speaking about gaza, or boosting posts about the situation would be doing the same for you if it were the people of your country being wiped off the map. even if you don’t have a lot of followers, one more person speaking out on social media is another voice for someone who has lost theirs.

so go ahead and unfollow me. stay silent, if you want. i don’t want small minded people here. i don’t want anyone who supports genocide here. this entire thing is so much bigger than you, and yet you as one person can still help. the posts you scroll past, the posts you unfollow for, can reach someone who can do even more than you or i could. for a website that preaches kindness and acceptance im seeing a lot of avoidance and an unwillingness to help.

#every time i reblog something ab gaza i lose a follower #and i am angry about it #like i said i dont care if they go. i dont want them here #but you have every took at your disposal to help #tool* #and you chose not to #your silence is a privilege. but staying silent ab gaza could be their death sentence #block me. unfollow. just. get lost. there is no excuse

[tnnrrdchclt]

#gets me very far. i’m just going through it and annoyed at myself when i shouldn’t be because i can’t anticipate everything — #no matter how intuitive i am or regardless of how much discernment i have. #i hate being here. i feel like i made excuses in hopes of not being here and still ended up here. #i wouldn’t even call them excuses because i thought i was giving grace and clearly looks like grace at my expense is a betrayal. #i’m getting better at choosing myself. at the moment it might feel like a loss and everything feels pointless and all i want to do is cry - #i never want to feel like this again. #anyone who wants to hate me can hate me. i do not care. #i will say that since i’ve posted this - it’s nice to see other folks and their take on self awareness. almost comforting i’d say.

[transmascissues]

i typically don’t post “off topic” since this is a blog with a very specific focus, but i can’t just post on here business-as-usual as if i didn’t just spend a significant amount of my afternoon learning about and crying for the family of a palestinian girl who just learned that most of her loved ones are dead.

a common refrain on this blog has been “we are hurting, we are dying, please pay attention.” so i feel the need to stress now that if you’ve ever heard and listened to that sentiment coming from me about my community and the violence we’ve faced, i need you to hear it now and listen to it now when it comes a thousand times more desperately from the mouths of palestinians in the face of the atrocities that are taking their homes, communities, and lives away. i need to make it abundantly clear that if you see what i talk about here and agree and support it but you won’t extend that same solidarity to the palestinians who need it now, you’ve entirely missed the point.

i also want to stress that you cannot let yourself fall for the propaganda that tries to pit queer and trans people against palestinians. there are queer and trans palestinians and their lives are also being destroyed. they exist and they are part of this family and we need to show up for them and their families. so please keep in mind that every time someone says “if you were queer or trans in palestine you would be killed,” what you’re hearing is an attempt at distracting you from who’s actually killing the queer and trans people in palestine.

i’m one of many people who feel incredibly out of their depth thinking about all of this, and i know that even once i’m better educated, i’ll never stop feeling deeply unqualified to talk about it in depth. i get feeling like you don’t understand it, i get feeling like you can’t do anything about it.

but you don’t need to understand every nuance of the politics or know every bit of the history or feel like an expert in it to give a shit. you can and should(!!!!!!!) learn more and find ways that you can contribute, but in the meantime, the absolute least any of us can do is not look away from this. you don’t need to be an expert to see the tragedies unfolding in front of us and know that they are wrong.

i’ll never forget that girl’s family. i’ll never forget the beautiful babies in those pictures who never got to grow up, or the aunts and uncles and grandparents who were taken before their time. i never knew them, but i felt their loss and cried for them and i will never forget them. they and the countless others like them deserved so much better, and those who are still surviving deserve freedom.

so if you’ve ever fought for my community or any other community facing violence, i better fucking see you fighting for palestinians now.

#free palestine #save gaza #boycott israel #ceasefire now #somebody close to me is at a protest for palestine right now and i wish i could be there too #but alas i am sick and it would be irresponsible to potentially spread it to that many people #i probably won’t talk about this much here beyond this but i needed to make sure i said something #i couldn’t just keep posting as if this isn’t happening and as if i’m not engaging with it #as i said i’m not the most knowledgeable yet but that’s no excuse for total silence #especially because this blog is the biggest active following i have pretty much anywhere right now #that’s something i’m trying to get better about and i figured now is as good a time as any to start