#except you dont have the keys. the curtains are drawn open so you can see everything inside. but you just | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fandom-monium · 2 years

Note

hi! can i request some fluff with reader taking care of a sick reid pls? I love your fics 🧡

AN: Thank you!! Hope yall dont mind i switched it around :))

Doctor Nurse Reid

Summary: In which you get sick and Spencer looks after you. "I don't mind germs if they're from you."

WC: 2.1k

TW: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, poor badass Reader got a fever :(, fluff, mutual pining you know me :))

—

Something's wrong.

The thought crosses Spencer's mind like a lightning bolt, alarming enough it makes him look up from his morning reading to glance around the bullpen. Coworkers sitting at their desks, others sipping coffee in the kitchen, but no one's running around like there's a fire. Nothing stands out.

But something's wrong and he knows it. He's just not sure what. It makes him itch.

He runs through his morning routine. Socks mismatched—check. His morning coffee from his favorite coffee shop—check. He came in early—also check. Okay, he's good at least. He carefully scans the office again.

The blinds partially open, he can see Hotch bent over his desk so severely he has half a mind to warn him he'll develop scoliosis. Rossi is in his own office doing... whatever Rossi does. JJ and Emily's desks are empty, but they left a few minutes ago for Garcia's cave, and Derek slouches in his chair, fiddling with a pencil as if it'll do a trick. And you—

Your desk is empty.

"Hey, did you see (Your Name) come in yet?" He asks Derek, trying to keep his tone casual. Sometimes he gets caught up in his reading to notice the world around him. Maybe Derek saw you.

But he shrugs, twirling his chair around. "Nope. But don't worry, Reid. I'm sure (Your Name) will come in any minute now."

He sputters, "Worried? Pshhh—who said I was worried?"

Derek raises an eyebrow at him before spinning his chair again.

Perfectly normal. Nice. Spencer mentally pats himself on the back. He's probably right, he thinks, turning back to his own work. They've all been late to work before, and you're no exception. Granted, this is the latest you have ever been, but he won't judge you. Everyone has their reasons.

But a few minutes turn into half an hour, and half an hour turns into one, until eventually they're called into the conference room, quickly debriefed because the case is urgent. Hotch wants them on the plane yesterday.

Before he has the chance to even bring you up, Hotch calls to him, "Hey, Reid, (Your Name) isn't answering their phone. I want you to check on them. "

"But—"

"You have a key to their apartment right?"

"Well, yes—"

"Perfect. Don't worry about us, you can video call with Garcia," Finality in his tone, Hotch strides out of the room, following behind the others, who try to hide impish grins.

Spencer blinks owlishly, frozen in the empty conference room.

—

Should he be mad at his team for leaving him behind?

Yes.

Is he mad?

No.

If Spencer's being honest, any anger or annoyance he initially felt goes out the window, replaced with excitement as he carefully makes his way down the hall towards your apartment, like you'll burst through your door any second, guns blazing at an attacker or something. Anything's possible with you. Then he realizes—

He's at your apartment. Alone.

The thought nearly sends him hyperventilating.

He shakes his head, reminding himself he's been to your place before, that he's there to check on you and not, as Derek would say, "put the moves" on you. He is there out of concern for a colleague—a friend—so when he reaches your door, he meekly knocks, "(Your Name)? It's me."

No answer.

Frowning, he knocks again before letting himself in.

At least your apartment seems untouched. Appliances off, curtains drawn with windows locked shut, and your clothes strewn here and there (he cracks his neck looking away from your underwear atop a pile of laundry), but nothing warrants concern.

So, where the hell are you?

Padding down the hallway to your bedroom door, he softly knocks, calling you. Again, no reply, and worry bubbles in him as he enters your room.

Only for it to fizzle out when he sees a very you-shaped lump in the center of your bed.

Spencer's shoulders drop in relief. "(Your Name)."

The lump shifts slightly.

Well, that's something. Stepping over more clothes and your half open go-bag, he stands at your bedside and gently shakes you. "(Your Name), wake up."

Something between a gurgle and snarl. He shakes you harder.

"Mmm..." You peek out from under the blankets, bleary-eyed. You croak, "Reid?"

"Good morning," He says, smiling down at you.

Had this been any other day, his smile would have made your heart jump, make you squeal so loud your neighbors would complain, or send you spiraling into embarrassment because Spencer's here in your room. You must look like a mess and—shit—you haven't cleaned since god knows when.

But then your head throbs and you groan, ducking back under the sheets like a turtle. Fuck how messy everything must look.

"Are you okay? Your face is flushed," Spencer asks, voice muffled above you. You feel him tug at your blankets and you pull them tighter around you. Your cheeks burn.

"I'll be fine. Just go ahead without me, I'll meet you at work."

"The team already left."

Your eyes shoot open and you immediately sit up, "Wha—ack!" You clutch the side of your head, your vision swimming.

Spencer's already at your side as he rests a hand on your back, brow furrowed in concern. "Yeah, Hotch said you weren't answering your phone, so he sent me to check on you."

"But—"

Without thinking he presses the back of his hand to your forehead and his frown deepens, "You're burning up. Have you eaten yet?"

Your lips part in surprise, eyes heavy as you stare at Spencer. Touch never came easy to him, but his palm is a cool relief against your skin, and you hope the heat rising to your face is from the oncoming fever. "Uh no, I haven't."

"Okay, you lay back down while I update everyone," He says, stepping into the hall. "Then I'll make tea. How do you feel about peppermint?"

"Thanks, Reid, seriously, but I can do it myself," You say as you struggle to push off your blankets, the strength in your arms sapped out of you. The last thing you want is to trouble him.

But before you can set foot out of bed, Spencer repeats himself, his unusually stern voice making you freeze, "I said, lay down. I'll make tea, okay?"

Not bothering to wait for an answer, he shuts the door behind him, and you fall back into your pillows, scratching your head.

... Yep, the heat is definitely from the fever.

—

“I see. We'll be back in a few days, so there's no problem,” Hotch crackles through the phone.

“Allright."

“…Is there something else, Reid?”

"Ummm..."

"...You don't know how to set up for a video call, don't you." It's not a question.

"I do not, no."

"...Call Garcia. We'll talk soon."

"Thanks, Hotch."

"Of course. And Reid?"

"Yes?"

"Tell (Your Name) we hope they feel better soon."

"I will."

—

“Open your mouth.”

You purse your lips together, arms crossed as you meet his gaze with defiance.

Spencer holds the thermometer closer to your lips, “Seriously, (Your Name), open your mouth.”

You shake your head, turning away.

He squints at you, “Are you a child?”

“Are you a doctor?”

“Yes. Now open up, so I can take your temperature and diagnose you!”

“Doctor, my ass.‌ You can’t diagnose shit!” You hiss before hiding under your covers.

Counting down, Spencer huffs, slowly easing his death-grip on the thermometer.

He’s so glad he’s not a medical doctor.

—

“Where do you keep your medicine?” Spencer asks, looming at the threshold.

You avoid eye contact.

He guffaws, “You don't have any medicine?”

“I don’t get sick.”

“And you’d call this…?”

“Listen, this is just like when I get a soar throat or a stuffy nose—”

“Both of which you have.”

“It’ll pass!” You rasp, coughing into your sleeve. Spencer cringes. “Eventually."

Rolling his eyes, he steps into your bathroom, not bothering to ask for permission as he rifles through your medicine cabinet. Nothing. By the time he stumbles upon the single bottle of tylennol, he’s already gone through your hallway and kitchen cabinets. Sighing in relief because at least you own some medicine, he picks it up and checks the label.

It’s expired.

He chucks it into the trash bin.

—

It doesn’t take long for Spencer to make a corner for himself in your apartment, setting his old laptop on your kitchen counter (away from your laundry) with Penelope’s tech support. He’s down the hall from your room, far enough any noise he makes shouldn’t disturb you, but close enough he can still keep an eye on you. It’s the perfect spot.

“I was studying the crime scene photos, and I thought the symbol looked familiar, ” Spencer says, the case files laid out on the floor and on the counter. “I looked into it and they’re definitely ritualistic in nature—”

On the screen, the team nods in understanding as Spencer continues, following him and his hand gestures as closely as they can, until at some point in his info dump, he notices the team’s focus shift, their grim moods changing. Penelope's lips are barely suppressed into a smile, Emily’s fist covers her grin, Derek and JJ exchange knowing looks, while Hotch and Rossi smirk, trying to mask their own amusement.

“What’s so funny?”

The front door creeks. Spencer whirls around, and his heart drops, “(Your Name), what are you doing out of bed?”

So close. You flinch, shutting the door. “I’m going to work, obviously.”

“You’re sick.”

“No, you.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. And I thought the medicine would’ve knocked you out by now.”

“Jokes on you, I’m resistant to most poisons!”

“It’s medicine; it’s supposed to help!” Spencer pinches his brow, sliding off the stool to herd you away from the door. He feels a headache coming on. “You know what? Nevermind, let’s just get you back to bed.”

You snort, gently batting his hands away, “I don’t need you to baby me.”

“I’m not babying you, I’m showing you I care,” He retorts as he ushers you back towards the bedroom.

Without either of you realizing, the team watches the entire scene unfold, hearts warming as their teammates bicker. And when Spencer returns, he notices the odd looks they give him.

“What?”

Penelope giggles, “You two fight like an old married couple.” Everyone collectively agrees.

Spencer pouts, ignoring their jests as he falls back into his rant, making them go back to work.

But for the first time in his life, he nearly squees.

—

"I know I haven't said it yet, but thank you for taking care of me, Reid," You sniff, wrapping the blankets closer to you as you lay in bed. Your bedside lamp bathes your room in a warm light, casting shadows and contouring the sides of your face. It's already late, but the teams called enough times that you know the case is a tough one, tougher without their best minds constantly present. You blink the sleep from your eyes. "I promise I'll make it up to you. I'll even do your paperwork for the rest of the week."

Spencer sets a fresh cup of tea on your bedside table before raising an eyebrow, "I'm pretty sure you snuck some of your paperwork into mine yesterday."

"...I don't recall."

He chuckles, sitting next to you, "It's okay, you don't owe me anything."

"But I do," Covering a yawn, you snuggle deeper into your blankets, "You're the biggest germaphobe I know, I doubt you wanted to be around me like this."

As you shift into a comfortable position, sleep finally catching up to you, Spencer's lips part to reply, but his throat closes as he realizes that for almost the entire time he was here, not once was he concerned of germs or contamination or dirt, at least not on himself.

His only concern was you.

After a pause, he mumbles, "I don't mind germs if they're from you." Blushing, he turns away, heartbeat in his ears as he holds his breath, waiting for you to respond. Or reject. Shit, he wants to keel over and die—

Snore.

His shoulders sag in relief. Carefully removing himself from your bed, he turns off the bedside lamp before placing a kiss at the top of your head, shutting the door quietly. His footsteps fade down the hall.

In the dark, you squeal into your pillow.

—

AN: Hi! Anyone else try to be more productive when they're sick?

As for my little absence, college was kicking my ass, and I needed to focus on career decisions and stuff. Now that I'm writing again, I started this as a warm up and ended up going over my word limit by a lot hehehe. Hopefully I finish Battle Tactics part 2 soon...

This was inspired partially by @spacedikut's Nurse Reid fic, if you couldn't tell by the title :D))

Hope you enjoyed!

—

Bonus Scene:

—

“A-choo!“

You hand him another tissue, wincing. “Sorry.”

Voice throaty, Spencer dismisses your apology with a wave of his hand, “No, no I did this to myself, but I appreciate you coming to look after me, even though you’re all better now.”

“Of course I would. Besides,” You hand him a cup of tea this time, and he takes a sip, humming. You smirk, “I don’t mind germs if they’re from you.”

Spencer chokes on his tea.

#spencer reid x reader #mgg x reader #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x oc #mgg x oc #criminal mind x oc #spencer reid fic #mgg fic #matthew gray gubler x read #mattew gray gubler x oc #matthew gray gubler fic #spencer reid imagine #matthew gray gubler imagine #mgg imagine #criminal minds imagine #queue still here?

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kandikorne · 6 years

Text

Jealous [JJK]

I was always aware of him, the shy boy in the back of the room. Always working so hard to reach his dream of being an idol. It was his goal, his dream, but there was only one issue; he couldn't sing.

Or so he claimed.

I was his roommate at the time, we had been close friends when we were children, but slowly drifted apart. His fear of girls isolating me from him, especially after I hit puberty, the boy was terrified.

It was as if fate had brought us together again, making both him and I share a dorm room. Really there was no privacy except the bookshelf between our beds and the curtain that he hung up separating us. The bathroom was on his side of the dorm room, meaning I had to cross his side of the curtain and hope he wasn’t naked or else that’d truly make things worse for us.

It was like a war zone, avoiding each other at all costs, it was truly sad. Sneaking past the curtain to use the bathroom for showers and such, and him coming to my side to leave out the door. The only times we’d actually run into each other was when we’d go to the mini fridge and microwave, those were directly in the middle of our shared room, meaning awkward encounters just for a water or snack. Then there was the issue for the windows, I liked them drawn to a tight close, no sunlight permitted, and he liked them open allowing the mornings radiance in.

We were total opposites.

He was the shy, yet happy, worker. While I was the sad, fake-happy girl, working just to get by.

It was a typical Friday night, I had just been lying in bed, the lights off, windows drawn to a tight close. The room was dark minus the flickering fairy lights hanging on the walls as I stared at the ceiling dotted with glow in the dark stars, watching the light slowly fade out of them.

Jungkook should be home any minute according to his previous Friday night track records. He never stayed out late or went to parties, that much I knew. He too shy for social interactions like those.

The door opened, the light from the hallway blinding, my hands flew to my eyes to block out the burning artificial lights. “Close the door Jungkook,” I whined and with a soft click I looked up and noticed he wasn’t alone.

The stranger chuckled and turned on the lights blinding me once more. “Are you a vampire or something?” Asked the new male, I moved my hands from my eyes as I looked into his warm brown ones. “Hyung let’s go to my side of the room, please?”

“Why, your roommate is seriously attractive. You should’ve mentioned her to me before I showed up like this.” He said referring to his sweats, he flashed me a smile also revealing his dimples.

“Kim Namjoon,” he greeted with a bow, I sat up in my bed and nodded smiling. “Y/n,” was all I said as I tried to discreetly smooth down my hair.

“That’s pretty,” he said as Jungkook began to tug him away, anger evident in his features. “Come on Namjoon,” he groaned earning the older’s attention.

“I’ll see you around, yeah?” He asked, giving me another one his dimpled smiles. “Hopefully,” I said with a laugh as I laid back down in bed. Jungkook switched the room light off as he and Namjoon went to his side of the room. Behind the curtain his lamp turned on.

The two males began to talk quietly, “Come on Jungkook why not. You have a beautiful voice, you’d be amazing in our band.”

“I can't sing well.” he muttered.

“Jeon Jungkook,” I called moving to the other side of the curtain, having enough of hearing their knit-pick argument. “Ever since I’ve known you since we were kids, you’ve always been able to sing. You sing all the time, in the shower, lying in bed, doing your workout. Everything is lyrics to you.”

His face darkened as Namjoon clapped him on the back. “Wait so are you his girlfriend or friend?” He asked as he stared both of us down.

“Neither, Kook here doesn’t even talk to me.”

Namjoons eyes widened as he looked at the younger male and back to me. A look of interest sparked in his eyes, “Well Y/n if you ever want to talk you can give me a call, let me get your number.” I nodded and went and grabbed my phone.

Jungkook stood baffled watching Namjoon and I exchange numbers, biting his lip and forcing his eyes away from mine. Namjoon handed me back my phone and looked between Jungkook and I as his went off. He read the messages coming through and nodded to Jungkook.

“Let me know if you change your mind, Jin hyung is worrying about me. I gotta go. It was a pleasure meeting you Y/n text me later?” I nodded and he nodded to Jungkook as he left the room.

Noting that I was still on Jungkook’s side of the room I quickly went to apologize only for him to cut me off. “Look at you go Y/n, flinging yourself on every guy that comes into your life. You’re seriously becoming such a whore, even when we were children you were always flirting with boys.”

“What the Hell? Jungkook, I wasn't even flirting. I was being polite and he gave me his number. I just wanted to help you make your dream of being an idol happen.”

“Yeah? Well guess what Y/n, I can make my own decisions, I don’t need your help. I don't even need you in my life, you always screw things up and ruin everything for me. Why the Hell did they even cast you as my roommate? I just wish you’d get out of my life and let me live.”

My heart fell as my eyes welled up with tears, with the tiny ounce of pride I had I turned on my toes and walked away. “Always running when you’re faced with the truth.”

“Jungkook, just shut the fuck up. You used to be my best friend, Hell I still considered you my friend but you know what? Friends don’t go blaming everything wrong with themselves on each other or try to raise their self-esteem. I can’t believed I ever had a crush on you!” With a shake of my head I slipped on my shoes and opened up the door.

“I’ll leave you be, hopefully your life gets better.” I called over my shoulder, slamming the door closed behind me as I left our dorm and wandered the halls. Where could I even stay?

There was always the option of sleeping in the car, Hell even going back to my parents house and staying there for a week or two until I found an apartment off campus where I could permanently avoid Jungkook. It was obvious he no longer wanted me in his life.

Jungkook paced his side of the room, his thoughts running in every direction to the words you’d spoken to him last night. He thought surely you’d be back tonight, then he was reminded of the words he had spoken and regretted it all.

Yelling at you in a blind rage of jealousy, he should’ve kept to his shy demeanor and not even said anything. He shouldn't have gotten so worked up over nothing. He prayed that you’d come back into the shared room and go back to your bed, that things would go back to normal.

No not normal, but with him tearing down the stupid curtain and moving the bookshelf, with him being able to hold and kiss you. Just have everything work out the way he dreamed, not with you being gone for good.

He was afraid that something seriously bad happened to you. That he truly hurt you. Your words kept ringing in his ears, I’ll leave you be, hopefully your life gets better. He was afraid that those words meant you were never coming back. But you had to if you wanted your stuff back, you’d never been so petty before but then again he’s never been much of an asshole to you.

He vowed to not leave his room until you returned for your things. He stopped pacing and tore down the curtain separating your half of the room. He grabbed the shelf and pushed it to the window, turning it so was right against the blinds. He was determined to be here when you arrived, he needed to patch things up.

Hopefully it’s not too late.

The nights came and gone, I was gradually missing my side of the dorm room. My plush mattress and blankets. The plush pillows and fairylights. I missed my stuff. I knew when Jungkook would be at work and in classes, so I had a good amount of time to get in and out before he’d come back and see.

I was pretty confident that he wouldn't notice, and grateful we didn't have anything else together besides the room. I already found a great apartment, and a new roommate to stay with so Jungkook could finally have a better life.

Maybe it was true that I caused him problems, I bet he’s doing great now. Can finally have girls over and guy friends. Bet the room is shaping up to be his ideal man cave.

Pulling out the key, which I’ll be sure to leave on the fridge so he’ll notice, I unlocked the door and entered. The room was dark, my fairy lights still on, I closed the door behind me only to be tackled and pinned to the wall.

A scream escaped my lips, but was quickly silenced by an open mouthed kiss. My eyes were wide as I noticed Jungkook’s soft features come into play. He looked as if he hadn't slept in days.

He pulled away, an apologetic look on his features, a blush on his cheeks. “Jungkook-”

“Y/n, I’m sorry. I overreacted. I was jealous and a major douchebag. I-just please don’t leave me. Please?” He begged, his eyes watery, my heart twisted in guilt as my stomach churned in anger.

“You called me a whore and said your life would be better without me.” He dipped his head, a tear rolling down his cheek past his scar, reaching out, I didn't even know what I as doing until I felt his tear on my thumb.

“Dont cry Jungkook,” I muttered, my hand still on his soft face. “I-I moved everything, I-I don't want isolation. I miss you. I hate how mad I got, all because of Namjoon. He was winning you over, something that I couldn't even do and I hated it.”

“So what I’m hearing is you had a little crush on me?” I teased and his blush darkened as he buried his face into my neck. “Aw, Kookie,” I muttered running my fingers through his soft locks. “I like you too, just next time don’t be such an ass to me.”

“I won’t,” he whispered drawing my body closer to his. “Does that mean you’ll stay?”

“Yeah, but one question, are you going to be my boyfriend or awkward roommate?”

“Both.” Laughing softly I pushed him up and he looked at me in confusion, grabbing his shoulders I brought his head down to mine, a quick kiss to his lips.He smiled as we pulled away and pulled me to his side of the room, together we laid on his bed as he hummed.

#Jeon Jungkook #BTS Jungkook #Jungkook x Reader #Jungkook Angst #Jungkook fluff #Jungkook Roommate scenario #Jeon Jungkook x Reader #Crushes #Jungkook Jealousy #Jealousy #Kim Namjoon #The start of BTS #bangtansonyeondan #BTS #Shy Jungkook #Shy Jungkook x Redaer

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kyanmaaaa · 5 years

Text

i told my bro abt this dream and hes just like why are your dreams so dark (so like, tw for this one)

but honestly i didnt really consider this dark it was oddly beautiful if scary. im going to fill in parts with what i think could have happened there but im also not going to include the details for what the room looked like in every scene besides whats neccassary, cause this was so vivid i could try to describe to you what each PERSON looked like and people usually dont even have faces in my dreams!

its still long so heres a read more

beginning of the dream im walking home at dusk and im coming from a direction i almost nvr walk, except for when its halloween. so it may have been halloween in my dream, the sunset is a beautiful BRIGHT orange and its on the side of my house rather than behind like it usually is but thats a minor detail.

cause around the house behind mine theres a very strange cloud formation, much lower than i usually see clouds and its not foggy but its just, theres clouds wrapped around the house except for the front and the wall just goes up and up and up to the top and slightly past the house. paired with the sunset i think thats really beautiful so i take some pics with my phone and go closer just to see how close i can get before the clouds disappear and then i’ll go home

i didnt get to go home, the clouds wrapped fully around the house and a strong, something, stopped me from leaving. also there was like an evil to/riel so she mighta been the one doing that

next part of the dream kinda jumps around so ill have to infer some parts but essentially the house changes from the building ive seen there for you know, my entire life, to a small dark wooden mansion. also muffet is there and guess what she ALSO sucks. and then theres this bitch blond haired human pony tail man and hes dumb and i dont like him. im not allowed to leave and im kinda enslaved i guess (my bro called me a prisoner with a job when i told him and it was stupid funny). muffets off on a job after i get settled in there and i dont know what happens to make me so submissive considering the next part of the dream focuses on another servant but whatever they did was REALLY REALLY BAD cause at every point after this im terrified of fucking up and ive pretty much given up on getting out.

this next part was more of a flashback sequance that happened later but for ease of reading im going to add it here instead. first other servant i meet is a beautiful large green shiny beetle man, seriously hes gorgeous and so well spoken and kind. when he was brought into the house he was introduced as just a regular human man, still as beautiful as ever tho, was hired to play piano for a party. as hes fiddling away with the keys though if you looked around you could see bright shiny green and gold strings just, laying flat against the wall, piano, his suit, etc. turns out those were his beetle wings but stretched out and distorted and at this point hes discovered cause to the untrained eye those look like decorations, but its how his kind disguises themselves. cause he can change his entire appearance except for his wings, so they have to try and hide their wings in the environment around them.

they didnt like him lying but it was calm at first. muffet invites him to a small welcoming dinner, just for a chat. they share a platter of food on one plate, partly meat, but most of whats facing him is just a lot of rice packed into a line. he slowly pecks away at that as he carries a polite conversation with muffet, but nvr touches the other side of the food. after hes abt halfway through it she asks “Why aren’t you trying the other food deary?” and he responds “I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to Miss.” and has a bite.

after whatevers in that food kicks in he keels over in pain and she makes it very clear how things go in this house. he listens, he does not act without being told to, and if he ever tries to pull a stunt like that again he’ll be dead. “Am I clear deary?”

since he was there before i was some times passed since that happened. hes currently being punished by mr asshole blond ponytail man and his punishment is all of his meals are very plain. just rice and unseasoned meat. the chef clearly put effort into each platter tho as theyve been shaped into increasingly elaborate shapes the longer the punishment lasts. im not quite sure why this is a punishment? maybe beetle man isnt getting all the nutrients he needs and thats harder for his kind, perhaps he has a taste for good food and this is just the most the ponytail dude can get away with as a punishment since muffets in charge of the house, or maybe its meant to bring up bad memories of when he first came here.

this next parts, really foggy

back to me and muffets talking to someone through a large portal in the room? plans are made abt making humans lose hope and wiping out humanity. the vegan next to me is very excited abt this and comments on it and im just like, bro, that would be super bad for the earth and also immoral? and shes like oh right. at some point i befriend a guy even tho we hated each other at first but he’s moved elsewhere after some time

time skip to muffet informing me that due to my most recent mistake my family is going to be killed. at this point im just sick of it i’ve been here for months im miserable im lonely, i miss my family im just kinda, unstable

really unstable

im shouting at her if shes going to off my family she has to kill me too cause i cant live knowing theyre dead because of me or live without them, just sobbing, kill me, please just kill me i cant stay here anymore she sends me to my room and i pass by my beetle friend but neither of us says anything, also passed by some buff monster but its irrelevant. i dont go to my room instead im just looking through hallway after hallway, opening a storage closet and just trying to find SOMETHING to work with because yeah im miserable, yeah this is probably going to backfire but you do NOT. FUCK. WITH MY FAMILY! so i have to leave. i dont care if this might kill me i have to get out of there with whatever the hell i can find. what i find is two deflated balloons with little plastic bits inside that when u press a button they light up and im like OKAY maybe i, maybe me and beetle man can use this to signal to each other! thats great i can do this i can. i think i may have been crying and laughing here after my exploring Im hiding behind a sofa in a room in the furthest corner of the house cradling my little weird balloon bundle, just trying to find space to think. im safe because u cant see me from the door and the blinds on the window are drawn already. it feels like i havent seen the outside in a while remember how i said i was really unstable? this felt completely real in the dream so maybe it was real due to dream logic, but it feels like desperation in hindsight. i clicked both of the balloon lights on and realized i could use it as a phone! i need to call mom i miss her so much. so i do and she goes honey where are you? and im just crying and saying i love you, i love you so much im okay mom, its okay, and shes like are you at school??? and i just turn into a mess. at this point i look through the sheer curtains on the window and notice my brother driving a really tall truck moving some construction supplies. it sucks that hes here too but im just so happy to see him even if i know i cant talk to him. maybe if they dont find out we’re related he’ll be okay and then i leave the mansion, and i run. nothing here is familiar. im somewhere in the woods. i try to run to the front and see all of the construction workers there making something, but besides all the people somehow the dirt is just, this sheer cliff up up and up in front of the place. so i run to the back and try to get through the barrier around the place. i think i do but its not exactly easy. i fought off a possessed wild boar, but it was the size you think a pig would be, so like a medium sized dog, it just tried to bite me and while it hurt i just hit it til it stayed down long enough for me to bolt after im some distance away, further into the forest on a wide path i meet a human whos instantly on guard to fight me. i spray paint in his eyes and then run on i meet a strange human on the same path and he smirks at me and puts paper in front of his eyes to stop my tactic. i go hey fuck it maybe the fumes will disorient him and spray and his magic stops the paint in mid air and im like dude that is SICK, before he flings it back at me

i dont know how but i beat him too but the next part of the dream im finally somewhere residential, houses along the water, its a warm but not too warm day, light breeze, so all in and beautiful. i feel like im seeing and breathing freely and clearly for the first time in, i dont even know how long. its bright and while i know i have to run im just going to keep running, im free for now.

i use my little balloon contraption and call up my mom again now that im somewhere im positive no one will hear me. i tell her im sorry but i cant go home, that this is likely goodbye, and i cant guarantee ill get out of this alive but it’s okay. i love you so much. and she has to leave too. i stress this. she has to leave, cut all ties, cut all things that could trace you and get out of there.

and then my alarm woke me up

its hard to explain why some sections of this dream were so scary, just the feeling of wrongness, isolation, powerlessness, and just some distant pain that i dont know what it was. it felt like the longer i was there the more my world was ending

#dream journal

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