#everything seemed so world ending then

[honeytuesday]

ok but now as ive continued to work on and unlearn my old patterns its become so much easier to just keep going when bad things happen? like i'm gonna be fine. nothing is ever as World Ending as it seems. pausing and regaining my footing before i react is more than okay. its the kindest thing i can do and This sucks but im going to be fine i'm going to figure it out and there will be happiness again. and like there's always gonna be shit to deal with but ive dug myself out of misery before and goddammit i'll do it again. it feels so good to have my own back like this

#for the longest time i never thought id make it past my teens #everything seemed so world ending then #no agency no autonomy no sense of self #years just dragging by #but it gets better #you get older and wiser and kinder to yourself #you get better at picking yourself up and bouncing back and giving yourself grace #there is a sweet freedom to adulthood that is unimaginable as a teen #and the self assurance just compounds as you get better at taking care of yourself

[sunmoontruth-stiles]

I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.

#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her #and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura #he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life #deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was #he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means. #when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial. #the best he can do at least #he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times. #often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship #but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost. #22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way #Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless #he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it #she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes. #he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone #he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home. #can’t bare to see another shell of a home #he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes #Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon #but promises feel costly these days #he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura #someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here #his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long. #Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place. #clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them #but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here #he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention #he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves. #he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods #he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.

[icewindandboringhorror]

recent lounging babey images

#he's so floppy recently and I hope it's just the heat. I think wamr weather makes everyone floppy and loungy #a beauntifulle boye... #cats #STILL working on posting some drafts. finishing new poll adventure.. other things... It's just hard with the weather and other things going #on. I've had a few more doctors appointments and other things to do recently that have to be done in a time limit #so I hvae to use my extremely limited energy working on that instead of doing the things I'd really rather do. :T #Main focuses though are keeping up better with doing and posting costumes + sculptures as main creative things. at least finishing the #main poll adventure story. Reworking the game I kind of abandoned for a few years. keeping up with game videos and a few other side things. #Especially the game though. I've been in a really worldbuildy mood recently. I just wish that was easier to manifest into something. I've #now put the worldbuilding slideshow reading video on pause for a while because it's SOOO long to do #and I think I should prioritize making games and stuff instead. but still other things. IT's just kind of like.. I have a whole world and #everything very built and planned out but now.. what do I do with it? what's the best way to share that? factual slideshows just going over #the information like a dictionary? make it into a game? write short stories? do art attached to the world? etc. etc. ?? There are so many #potential avenues I end up kind of flip flopping between them a lot because none really seem more beneficial than the others and they all #seem equally enjoyable and also equally hard so. It's like?? I guess just do what the hell ever and hope I made the right choice in terms o #cost benefit and reward for my time lol. ANYWAY.. Also why I'm in my 'trying to make friends' era still because I think having other creat #ive friends can help you find direction like.. people will meet each other and then go 'hey lol just for fun lets start a project together! #and then like 5 years later it's genuinely become something. etc. having other people to help weed out ideas and start small creative teams #together and etc. I feel is a very beneficial part of networking or whatever but also I have the social capacity of a stale bread roll and #am also inherently unrelatable to seemingly a majority of people due to my hermit wizard swag (detachment from general society and hyper #focus on fantasy worlds in my head gjhghj) so trying to meet people as a grown adult with social issues is Very easy and fun (it is not) #even very basic things like my core communication style is so incompatible with a lot of people it's like.. hhhh... People in this modern #age have GOT to stop being afraid of phone calls and/or text that is longer than 6 paragraphs. Work with me here. I WANT to talk to you. bu #I do not know what your emojis mean and it's physically impossible for me to type less than 85 sentences. please.. hhjgjgb #AAANYWAY!! I am working on things when I can given the circumstances (SUMMER).. hopefully some costume pictures and stuff soon. :'3 #I've not forgotten about my art and etc. - as usual I just am bad at social media and also functioning if it's above 65F lol

[tearsoftime0086]

I was talking about this to a friend a few weeks ago, but I love how Kamille basically starts and ends Zeta Gundam with the same motive - righting a wrong - but the way he internalizes it shows how much he's grown (spoilers below).

Like, when he goes awol and steals the MK II, he's solely in it to pay back the MP who physically assaulted him (which also I could go into a whole other conversation about... dude why did you turn back around when a gundam crashed into the military facility???? anyway). He wants to get revenge for being looked down on, from being toyed around with by the officers on the sidelines. It's a very self-centered and almost egotistical drive.

By the time he's fighting Scirocco however, the rationale is different. Yes, he's still calling out Scirocco for doing much of the same as the MP - watching from the sidelines, messing with people - but Kamille's a changed man. He's now a formal pilot, but he's also learned to love and to lose people, and he's learned that he has the potential to be something more for them. And so he couches this intent in the framework of "sacrificing his life" for it - for a bigger cause, for the people who he cares about.

Until it swallows him whole.

#kamille bidan #i... just have a lot of feelings about kamille. he starts out as such a troubled kid (justifiably #and he's so self-centered because he's going through a lot of pain that as a teenage kid no one seems to really relate with #and the war almost helps him - gets him to meet people #recontextualizes the world and his place in it #until he's willing to give up EVERYTHING and become a vessel for everyone's intent #a;ldkghdks #random musings #anyway someday I'll write up my thoughts on how ZZ handles character development with Judau too since his ending also makes me feel things #zeta gundam #on a lighter note because of kamille's early episode antics I'm only 1 for 3 on convincing my friends to finish watching zeta #what a guy huh #gundam

[fragmentedblade]

Goodness, apparently Argenti's One and Only is named in Chinese after Rocinante, which is so fitting for him, especially with Himeko's words about him in mind

#How she says maybe the beauty he seeks may disappoint him if he hound it #How he may not recognise it for what it is blinded by what he seeks #But overall his every act and his words fit so much #How his approach to knighthood is more a portrayal of a knight than a knight and so how is a little chimerical #And yet how precisely for that in the end after knowing him he feels more sincere‚ movingly sincere #And makes one regain hope and illusion in the world and everything seems more worth it‚ brighter and beautiful #Because yes he may be weird and deranged and risible but after spending some time with him one can't help but think he makes sense #Yes people can be and should be and even are kinder. Yes every little battle can be a joust that feels larger than life #because this is our life. His grandiose acts are silly but he is honestly trying to be helpful and fair and kind and he feels so sincere #that the silly acts end up being endearing first and admirable at last #And after everything‚ after meeting him‚ one can't help but regard the world with wonderstruck eyes again #Because everything is as beautiful as he said it was. How could I forget? #I talk too much #I should probably delete this later #Argenti #Traces #I'm sorry if this appears in the tag but I wanted to save the Rocinante reference #Edit: doesn't entirely fit but Velite has a bit of Sancho Panza in this context

[biblionerd07]

I tried watching some of the Ian/Mickey scenes from season 11 and it made me ill. These are IMPOSTERS. That is not Ian and Mickey!! Especially Mickey!!! Look at how they massacred my boy. But one of the most frustrating parts is that if you watch the deleted scenes it shows that someone in that writers’ room DID know how to write Ian and Mickey but the producers or whoever makes that decision were like “nah, no meaningful conversations that show how much they love and respect each other and are working on their relationship. These fans who’ve been watching the characters struggle for a decade want them to continuously argue and beat the shit out of each other and act like they hate each other!”

#John wells if I ever catch you #there were a very few small spots of goodness and I credit ONLY Noel and cam for that #they were doing their level best #some of the things they had coming out of Mickey’s mouth made me want to drive my head through a wall #in what world am I supposed to believe Mickey was getting blow jobs from other guys #and making a joke out of Ian’s bipolar???? #like the one time they remembered they even wrote Ian as bipolar and it was for a shitty line where Mickey throws it in his face #it feels like every season is a whole new show and not connected at all to the others #and then it starts feeling like every EPISODE is a whole new show that’s not connected #why was there like a goofy soundtrack as Mickey’s literal Nazi abusive rapist father moved in next door #Noel was giving us everything and they made a joke out of it #and then they made a joke out of Mickey being conflicted and crying after terry died?????????? #I want to kill them #Ian saying frank was worse than terry????? girl in what world?????? #Mickey was NEVER insecure about bottoming and he was always adamant about how much he loved it but suddenly it’s an issue #from ‘liking what I like don’t make me a bitch’ back when he could barely LOOK at Ian to…this #also Ian used to be very sweet even when he was being stubborn and self-righteous and even violent #but they really lost his sweetness #and I know it wasn’t just cam growing up bc there were glimpses of it in the way he chose to have Ian move and hold onto Mickey #but the writers seemed hell bent on all of the characters being so horrible to each other #in the early seasons they could sometimes be cruel and selfish even to each other but underneath it all they loved each other #and it feels like when they decided to lean solely into goofy comedy that lost that #it’s just sad to see a show that started so good end so badly #I’ve seen people talking about a spinoff with Ian and Mickey and I don’t even fucking want it with these writers #maybe if cam and Noel were producers and got to choose the storylines #they’re the only ones I trust

[bobmckenzie]

day 35 of being pissed off at myself for cutting my hair

#i cant even really be mad bc its growing back in fast and should be good again in like 30 more days #but FCKKK i miss having hair i could just sleep with in a shoddy bun and wake up with it just how i like it #i hate having to fuss with it. what a waste of time. and so finicky -_- #sorry im on Period Day 1 so everything seems like the end of the world today LOL #caitiechat

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

Under suffocating depths... would it have been easier to just swim down?

>>> Next <<< Previous (Destiny Bond; a Pokémon fancomic --- pt.1, pt.2, pt.3, pt.4, pt.5, pt.6, pt.7, pt.8, pt.9, pt.10, pt.11, ???)

#Destiny Bond comic #no Tricks all Treats this lovely Friday the 13th-- WE'RE BACK BABEYYYYY ✨✨✨ #life seems to keep throwing stuff my way BUT! I won't let it stop me from writing/drawing these beloveds!!! #suffice to say my upload schedule is gonna be absolutely Whack with everything going on here in all honesty SKJDFNSDSNS #but so long as I'm able to work on these tragic gays at the end of the day- at my own comfy pace--- that's what matters to me 💃💃💃 #I want to thank all of y'all who've stuck around even with all my unpredictability---it means the world to be able to share something- #-I really do love making with you all---even if I go a bit slower nowadays huhu 😭🤲💖✨✨✨ #so continuing on right after Morty drowned now he dies irl /j /j /j #Eusine does have a heart attack though pls pray for him he's gone through hell and back just Watching this unfold SJDFHSNDFKSNDS #sacredshipping #morty/eusine #morty x eusine #gym leader morty #morty pokemon #eusine pokemon #mystery man eusine #pokemon #pokemon fancomic #fan comic #comic #pokemon art #pokemon gsc #pokemon hgss #fluff draws !!!

[lemon-wedges]

.....

#well #in the end i can say this #mgs4 otacon was unfairly hot u_u #was it worth the weird fetishization of women suffering and mangled character arcs tho? #:| #honestly tho #both the shortest and longest mgs #the world isnt that big and im like really dissapointed there wasnt more people talk to on the codec #especially compared to mgs3 that seems to perfect relationship building thru those calls #also kinda insane how bogged down by exposition this was even tho???? idk if its any more than prev games? #possibly the way its paced out but man #even BBs final speech was wearing me down #but also #RAIDEN VAMP FIGHT FUCKED SO MUCH #and everything in and after shadow moses was fun #not the noami thing #but u know #the old man fights #... #god #3 more games #AHHHHHHHHHHHH

[fairycosmos]

thought a lot about how much i care about my parents and especially my mother today. there’s always an automatic “despite everything” tagged on in my head, because i’m hurt and i’m bitter, but i love them in this deep and helpless sort of way - it kind of makes me feel five again. i think it has something to do with watching them visibly get older, you know. witnessing the tangible impermanence of people who always seemed so permanent 

#like.......it's crazy when i think about how i.........watched their lives. and its been so unhappy. i cant imagine #a world without them even tho we rarely share any emotional intimacy or experiences together. god i dont know #it's like that post that says something like When u were a kid ur mother seemed like the beginning and end of everything but really she was #just a youngish woman with a kid

[astriiformes]

Me, gritting my teeth as I do my best to ignore the fact that I have been battling my own brain particularly intensely (a mental health crisis that is ongoing, due to life circumstances that cannot be changed) and the many other responsibilities that have been stressing me out as of late so I can instead throw myself into the middle of a complex, inflammatory conflict between two groups I care about that is threatening to have a horrific amount of emotional collateral in part due to the fact that no one else has been willing to step up as a mediator: Wow, just like in Pentiment

#everything's fine. we're all fine here. how are you #almost like having a bunch of marginalized students running their own organizations at school can lead to a lot of stress sometimes #when you inevitability end up with bunch of traumatized people pointing fingers at each other instead of actually like. talking #i think i was able to help defuse things today but also. everything is a little bit on fire and not enough people are putting out the fires #and also like. guys. please do not let me. the most mentally ill man in the world. be one of your only sources of conflict resolution #(not the only one at least. i am wearily handshaking with one of my close friends in the queer student group. but like. they're struggling) #but i have uhhh seen groups i care about explode before for similar reasons and i'm not willing to let it happen again #and more than a few people thanked me today and i have a big dumb heart too [gestures] like this for my own good so. i'm not about to stop #genuinely i do not mind being the person who does the mediation so long as people are like. grateful when all is said and done #and they seemed to be today #still. screaming tiredly etc etc #please picture me full on crying as i somehow managed to talk a really awful shouting argument in the queer student center down anyways #cursed are the peacemakers because they will be the ones constantly going 'what the hell guys. please do not' everywhere they go

[padawahsoka]

hm. did not like the episode objectively. but emotionally i AM distraught

#* me pausing to point at rex in the background * #ahsoka spoilers #i guess? ok since i tagged it #i'm mostly upset by how the world between worlds section ended. like what purpose did the flashbacks end up serving? #“man being a child soldier...... that was fucked up right?” like yea ahsoka's dialogue with anakin revealed more than that #but it seemed like she just got over everything with the lightsaber battle. i feel there was a turning point i was missing #maybe someone else can tell me why they loved it and it was actually fitting bc of x and y i'll change my mind lol #i wanted to love it. but the build up to this 'confrontation' was so much i needed more drama and spice

[cattycaleb]

bell’s hells being the underdog heroes when stacked against previous critical role pcs is just so…….. cute. like the fact that they’re so comparatively weak but they’re trying just as hard and just as heroically…….

#i love the fact that they’re level nine #cr3 #critical role spoilers #everything is so big and scary and this is world-ending stuff but by God they’re going to do their best #it makes them seem especially brave #willow whispers

[thesmallworldofsamizayn]

i have something very personal and ugly and probably incoherent that i need to get off my chest about israel. to preface im not a zionist, i am jewish and disgusted by israel on a daily basis, and this is me mostly speaking from that. i am sorry and if anyone who follows me doesn't want to read this from me/hates it i ask that you just scroll on by and forget it. and if you do read it and respond im happy to talk but just please take it in good faith. in reponse to this post

#it's not black and white. maybe in purely theoretical moral dilemma terms it seems that way. but not in reality. #what do you do with an israel that should not exist on principle but does? it does and the people in it have been there for generations now #and it's jewish. this DOES complicate things and i wish people would stop pretending it doesn't. #it makes everything literally everything so. fucking. complicated. #cause you end up with this implicit ultimatum: side with hamas or be a zionist. what other options are there under this world view #if you only think israel should stop mass murdering palestinians but speak in favour of 2 state solution or talk about 'right to exist' #are you saying you're fine with everything else; the occupation was justified just not outright genocide? #it always has to go back to the ideological origin of zionism which means a call to abolish the state of israel entirely. #and in parallel if you talk of atrocities on 7 october or terrorists this takes away from the palestinian struggle right #because hamas are the armed resistance to israel and to call for their condemnation to withdraw support from the unrwa #is to renounce solidarity with the palestinian cause in any way that matters. do you really care if you deny them the right to resist? #but here's the other side. you just cannot ask this of jews. maybe some jews but the vast majority? telling them they need #to essentially throw their support behind an organisation that hates their existence? #hamas ARE antisemitic. the houthis are antisemitic #it's a different kind of antisemitism to the white/aryan supremacist kind. it's complex and it comes with an actual weight of grievances #but it's still antisemitism. the future desired by the resistance is not kind to jews certainly not in palestine and realistically #not anywhere else either. islamophobia and antisemitism have both seen huge upticks since 7 october. do you think it's just #nazis and far right bigots enjoying free reign? no. there is a real inter ethnic inter religious hatred here. you can't just wish it away #there's a real sense i get from the circles i follow here that you have to be 'all in' with your activism or else your views are worth shit #but then i guess it's okay if your wholehearted antizionist rhetoric is just a bit antisemtic as well or supports those who are #so yeah actually for jews this is not an easy solution. at least for this jew it is not. the only uncomplicated thing for me #s seeing what israel does and calling it a crime against humanity and demanding an immediate ceasefire #talking unreservedly about the evil that israel has committed against palestinians for decades #i wish it was as uncomplicated as going from that to saying israel needs to disappear completely. but im jewish and i have a jewish family. #i cant boycott my father like a problematic celebrity for getting upset when i said israel should never have been established at all #i cant sit in judgment of every jew who feels some personal connection to israel when i'm 2 degrees removed from victims of 7 october #anyway. me personally i fucking loathe israel. not Just Its Government i hate the mocking cruelty of its army and many people in it #and also for how it is tied up with jewish identity despite me wanting no part of it. whether i like it or not.

[klayfruit]

outer wilds on sale… should i get it……

#txt #game looks absolutely gorgeous but i have a love-hate relationship with open world(s?) games #because i just Want to explore everything and theres so many options and i get overwhelmed #and end up just staying in my own little area without ever exploring like i did in subnautica #and also survival stuff seems kind of threatening for me #since when i do play open world games i prefer it when uoure just like. immortal. so you can go absolutely anywhere without consequence #BUT outer wilds looks so so gorgeous and like hrrnnggfghgfggf

[conspiracydawg]

got around to reading nona the ninth and I think I finally have to concede that I'm just not picking up what these books are putting down. there's some cool concepts but it feels like the author is actively avoiding them most of the time. also finding the constant quips and references annoying, and not really sold on the central relationship of the series, which leaves very little for me to be happy about. I'll read alecto because I'd like to know what happens next, but I can't help but feel I'll also be relieved when it's over

#me bitching #idk I'm happy for all the folks who love these books but I'm just not seeing it #world is super cool but again the author seems to be actively avoiding showing us much about it #which like #this is not to say I prefer those books and (especially) games that have to tell you EVERYTHING those are painful #but the world is far and away the primary draw for me and the author just is not willing to immerse me in it #also okay the one genuinely mean thing I'm going to say about this series is that the mysteries suck #maybe I'm just dumb but like #part of a good mystery is looking back and seeing all the points where you totally could have figured it out #tlt just withholds vital information from you and when you get to the end you're like 'ah so that's why nothing made any fucking sense' #it's not satisfying #I'm so cranky I really wanted to like these books #this isn't a case of me not extending a book the goodwill to meet it where it is #I was more than willing to do that #but they just aren't speaking to me #but at the same time I read some reviews on goodreads and while some were negative none of them had the same problems I do #I don't want to get into drama or discourse or even really a friendly argument about the merits of these books #but I'm considering writing up something about them if only for my own benefit