#even more emotionally represses son in law who is now crying in her arms in the middle of a restaurant
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yai and mangkorn can never break up because mama mangkorn would start hitting both of them on the head with a rolled up newspaper
#big dragon the series#big dragon#she's dealing with so much#idiot husband#emotionally repressed son#even more emotionally represses son in law who is now crying in her arms in the middle of a restaurant#she's fixing everything all on her own
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The Temple- Chapter 1/?
N’Jadaka x OC
A/N: I thought this was going to be a two parter, but now it’s looking like maaaaybe 3? I’m just now getting back into my writing and forgot how longwinded I can be lol. Enjoy!
CW: short mention of suicidal ideation
Previous chapter: Prologue
3256 Words
N’Jadaka’s eyes blinked open and he was met with yet another day in Wakanda. This one was a little different than all his other mornings there because it was the first time he got to wake up in his own bed in his own quarters (outside of that one day he was king.) N’Jadaka had spent the last three months in a psychiatric treatment facility working on his anger and mental health issues. When he woke up after the civil war he caused he was livid. He had wanted to die on that mountain and unfortunately the feeling didn’t leave him until about a month into his treatment. He felt he had nothing to live for since his entire life’s work had gone up in flames before his eyes. He accomplished his one goal in life only to have it snatched back from him a day later. Everything important to him in his life had been taken from him and he felt he had nothing else to live for, so his cousin, King T’Challa, arranged for N’Jadaka to spend some time at Ithemba Center for Mental Wellness.
He would never admit it out loud, but N’Jadaka was scared to go to Ithemba. He thought his stint as king would have turned Wakandans against him, but it did the opposite. The royal family had decided that transparency was the best policy and did a press conference explaining the entire situation to the people. T’Challa explained what had happened between his father and uncle, what the prince’s life had been like up to that point, and the fact that while he did usurp the throne he did it the right way according to Wakandan law so he wouldn't be charged with treason. The people of Wakanda were shocked, but welcomed their new prince with open arms. He wasn’t aware of the new developments because he was still resting in a healing pod in Shuri’s lab at the time, but when he went to Ithemba he was surprised to find out that everybody already knew him and was more than willing to help him. N’Jadaka hadn’t received that much care and attention since he was a child and he didn't really know how to handle it. It took him weeks to learn how to open himself to others, and it wasn’t until his last month of treatment that he even began opening himself up to the other patients in group therapy.
N’Jadaka’s main therapist was a woman named Ife. She reminded him so much of his mother that he had almost no choice but to open himself to her, crying in her lap during their first couple sessions. Ife had been incredibly patient with the emotional yet emotionally repressed prince, allowing him to work through his overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, and hurt.
His time with Ife and the other patients at the center had been incredibly healing and he felt like a new man. He still felt like he had a ways to go, and he could tell he needed something, but couldn’t figure out what. His healing didn’t feel anywhere close to being done.
A knock at the door interrupted his morning laziness.
“Ngena.”
In walked the king of Wakanda flanked by two of his Dora Milaje, who he politely dismissed to stand outside the door. He walked across the room and sat in the plush velvet wingback chair by the full bookshelves.
“Sup man?” N’Jadaka barely opened his eyes to speak to his cousin. The bed was too comfortable.
“My apologies cousin, did I wake you?”
“Nah I’m up, this bed just won’t let me go.”
T’Challa chuckled at his cousin’s laziness. He completely understood, the beds were the most comfortable beds he’d experienced in all of his travels and time abroad in school.
“I just wanted to formally invite you to attend breakfast at 9. It’s casual, just family and whatever few friends are staying in the palace with us at the time. M’Baku will be joining us today.”
“The gorilla nigga?”
T’Challa tried and failed to stifle his laughter, which quickly spread to his slightly younger cousin.
“Yes the gorilla nigga.”
“Ooooh I’m telling M’Baku you said that. Better yet, I’m telling Auntie.”
“I’d really rather you not.”
N’Jadaka chuckled and wondered if this is how it always would’ve been if they had grown up together. The thought was more bitter than sweet, so he pushed it aside for the time being.
“Maybe just this once.”
T’Challa grinned at his cousin and he also wondered how life would’ve been had they known each other their whole lives.
“Thank you. Oh and get up, it’s already 8:30” T’Challa stood and walked towards the door.
“These damn beds…” N’Jadaka shook his head and reluctantly flung the sheet back and swung his legs over the side of his bed, completely forgetting he slept naked. He rushed to cover himself in the king’s presence.
“Shit, my bad, man.”
“For…?”
“Nigga I got my dick swinging!”
“You’re sorry for being naked? Wh- oh that’s right. We aren’t puritanical like you are used to in America. Nudity isn't scandalous here, it’s just a body. But I will leave and let you get ready. See you, umzala.”
N’Jadaka stood there shocked. He knew of Wakandan culture, but experiencing it was going to be an adjustment. Just how different were they? They were never affected by colonization so the oppressive white supremacist ideology wouldn’t exist there. He had a lot of unlearning to do and a lot of questions to ask his family.
He eventually shook himself out of his thoughts and made his way to the en suite bathroom. He turned on the shower using the touchpad and the water fell from the ceiling like rain. He scrubbed down in the vanilla chai body wash he had requested and afterwards he covered his skin in shea butter. He walked into his enormous closet and stood there overwhelmed at the choices. His inner child wanted to throw a fit for everything he’d missed out on, but N’Jadaka took a deep breath to center himself before walking over to the section of clothes that he recognized. He was so nervous about breakfast he almost dressed to impress, but then he remembered T’Challa’s words and casual outfit. He grabbed his Lost Tribe hoodie and threw on his favorite black jeans and his Timbs. He swooped all his locs to one side of his head and threw on his gold glasses. N’Jadaka took a deep breath and walked towards the door.
“Chill out...it’ll be fine.”
The guards stationed outside his door directed him to the dining room where he was met with the smiling faces of his family members. Ramonda was the first to notice he’d entered the room..
“Mholo, umtshana!”
She met him for a hug and kissed his cheek. He smiled so hard his dimples looked deeper than ever and he hugged her back.
“Mornin, Auntie. T, Lil Bit, Charlie’s Angel, Big Man.” N’Jadaka greeted his cousins, Nakia, and M’Baku.
Yet again, T’Challa failed to stifle a laugh, which he tried to play off with a cough. Nakia lightly backhanded his chest and sucked her teeth at him.
“Little bit? Don't start with me, bubble wrap!”
“Who is Charlie and why am I their angel?”
“That is not my name.”
Shuri, Nakia, and M’Baku spoke over each other.
Thankfully the queen mother was there to settle the children down right as the food was being brought out. N’Jadaka looked at the table and was surprised to see that Ramonda was seated next to T’Challa and that the only empty seat was at the end of the table.
The king noticed N’Jadaka’s nervousness as he watched him sit down gingerly and take in his surroundings.
“So N’Jadaka, how was your first night in the palace? Our beds are the most comfortable in the world.”
“Auntie, I almost didn’t come to breakfast. That bed had a hold on me.”
“You must come visit my people sometimes. If you think you sleep good here, wait until you have the crisp mountain air-”
“Nah lemme stop you right there. Crisp is code for cold, and I don't do that shit. Sorry Auntie.”
“I don't do that shit either. When I was staying there I shivered the whole time, even with the beautiful furs and blankets! I’m just not built for the cold.”
N’Jadaka grimaced at the mention of his time as a burgeoning world dictator. He was thankful nobody noticed.
He was also thankful for the large platters of food the kitchen staff came and sat in front of them. They passed the food around the table and soon enough there was silence as everyone dug into what N’Jadaka would later describe as the best meal he ever had.
After breakfast, the three men retired to T’Challa’s office while the princess hurried off to her lab, Nakia disappeared, and Ramonda tended to her garden.
“So, N’Jadaka...I wanted to talk to you about a few things-”
“Then why is Mighty Joe Young here?”
M’Baku rolled his eyes.
“Again, that is not my name. Who even is this person?”
“It’s a big ass gorilla.”
“Oh- well in that case…”
T’Challa cleared his throat.
“As I was saying. Before anything, we need to address your crowning ceremony. Obviously you are part of the royal family, but by Wakandan law, all royalty must be officially crowned to be able to hold a title. If you would like to be Prince N’Jadaka son of Prince N’Jobu we must have the ceremony.”
N’Jadaka’s voice caught in his throat and his eyes got misty.
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
M’Baku put a hand on his shoulder.
“It’s good to have you, brother.”
“Good to be here.”
T’Challa fought tears of his own.
“Ok so uh, that’s that. We can hash those details out later. Now, the second thing I wanted to bring up with you is this: M’Baku and Nakia have offered to show you around the merchant tribe here in the city, the river tribe, and Jabariland. Shuri will get you acquainted with the mining tribe, and I will take you out to the border tribe on Wednesday.”
“Aight, sounds like a plan, but I don’t want the surface-level touristy shit.”
T’Challa chuckled.
“Noted. Now, lastly,” T’Challa pulled up a projection of a futuristic yet somehow still modern building next to a basketball court.
N’Jadaka’s stomach dropped.
“What is this?”
“I want to open our borders to the ‘Lost Tribe’ as you call it. Maybe to the rest of the world eventually, but at the time they are less of a concern. In addition to that, I-”
The king was cut off by Nakia entering the room.
“Perfect time, love.”
“Sorry for being late, this baby runs my life now.”
“I’m getting a baby cousin?!”
Nakia looked at him dryly.
“Yes, N’Jadaka, you are getting a baby cousin.”
He peeped her attitude and settled down. If there was one thing he knew in this world, it was never piss of a pregnant woman.
“So the Outreach Centers, yes. I had actually had the idea for a while, but it took the country almost burning down for this idiot to see I was right. T’Challa had the idea to use your old apartment complex as the first Wakandan Outreach Center. Hopefully if it goes well, we could expand to-”
N’Jadaka zoned out staring at the projection. His vision may not have come true in the way he thought it would, but this would certainly be a step towards the betterment of the lives of Black people everywhere. N’Jadaka couldn't help but grin.
“I think we lost him…”
“Cousin!”
He snapped out of his daze.
“Yeah I-I like it. Thank you, this really means a lot. One thing though?”
“Yes?”
“I want it dedicated to my pops.”
T’Challa smiled and zoomed in on the name above the door. It read “Prince N’Jobu’s Wakandan Outreach Center”. Then he took them on a 3-D tour of the facility, ending with the memorial to N’Jobu in room 1401.
N’Jadaka nearly broke down in tears.
“Cool. Thanks, man. For everything. This is…” N’Jadaka took a deep breath. “Just, thanks…”
The other three Wakandans smiled back at him fondly, an occurrence it seemed he would have to get used to.
“I’m glad you like it. Now if you three will excuse me, I have work to do.”
Nakia kissed T’Challa’s forehead and left the room.
“Aight, I need something lighthearted. A nigga is tired of crying. Oh! Actually I got some questions…”
“Ask away.”
“So earlier you mentioned how free and open and shit yall are here...I’m single and haven’t had any in like 6 months so where can I go to find some pussy. Since I’m a prince do I just like, I don't know, have concubines brought to me? I don't know how this works”
M’Baku snorted.
“Clearly.”
N’Jadaka flipped him off while T’Challa answered.
“No, we do not have ‘concubines’ though we do sort of have sex workers, which we can discuss later. You know, it would do you good to read some Wakandan history books...and maybe even some of our sex education material.”
“Ay man, I already know all that.”
“Not the way we teach it. Plus our birth control is better here.”
“More effective?”
“And no side effects. Trust me, you’ll want to visit the library at the end of the hall, cousin.”
N’Jadaka considered his suggestion and made a mental note to check out the library later that day.
“Yes, maybe you’ll learn a thing or two,” M’Baku chimed in.
“My guy, I know how sex works! I’m just curious about the culture surrounding sex. T, you said y'all aren’t puritanical like America...expand on that.”
“Well the list of books I just sent to your beads would be able to cover this in greater detail than I can at the moment, but basically every preconceived notion you have about sex, gender, attraction, etc. has been tainted by colonialism as a means of control over the population.”
“Hanuman…”
“Yeah I know that, I guess I just can’t really conceptualize a world without all that sexism and homophobia and shit.”
“What is homophobia?” M’Baku asked, genuinely confused. The cousins answered at the same time.
“When people hate gay niggas.”
“The hatred of, or at least the disdain for, those who are attracted to their same gender.”
“And we ain't even getting into the people who aren't men or women, that shit blows people's minds.”
“Why?”
The cousins continued to explain the outside world to M’Baku for what felt like hours. T’Challa looked at the clock and stood.
“Well gentlemen, as...depressing as this conversation has been, we must get to the council meeting.”
“I need a drink after that. The strongest Jabari mead!”
“Yeah imagine living with that shit for 30 years then coming here. I’m not gonna know how to act.”
“You’ll learn.”
The three made their way to the council meeting and N’Jadaka had never been so bored in all of his life. He started nodding off at one point and M’Baku elbowed him in his side when he started to snore. When it was finally over they parted ways and N’Jadaka headed to the library. He had plenty of reading to do.
He started with the Wakandan history books reading about the lives of his ancestors. His fathers stories had given him a good foundation to build on, but what he found in the books blew his mind.
Wakandans can trace their history for thousands of years, all the way back to the time of the great Bashenga, the first Black Panther. Growing up as a Black American, N’Jadaka had no connection to his mother’s family history because there was no record. When the Lost Tribe was enslaved and brought to the west, they were recorded as cargo, not people. The enslavers didn’t care about their names or where they came from, and when they got to shore their families continued to be ripped apart and sold to the highest bidder. They weren’t allowed to play drums and congregate, they weren’t allowed to read, they weren’t allowed to marry. There was no written record of his people, and the most they could go on was family bibles which almost never went back before the mid 1800s.
N’Jadaka was overwhelmed with the information, so he decided to switch to something else and come back to the history books later. He picked up “Intimacy and Sex” by Ami Nbunda and flipped through the pages. He skimmed the table of contents and was surprised by what he saw.
The first chapter was on anatomy, but it actually included intersex people instead of just focusing on male and female bodies. The next chapter was about loving and respecting yourself and others, but not in the slut-shaming way of the outside world. The next few chapters were on the mental and emotional sides of intimacy, and the last few were on birth control, sexual health, attraction, healthy communication, and more resources.
The prince couldn’t believe what he was seeing as he flipped through the pages. He stopped on a full-color photo of a vulva with all the parts labeled.
“This is for kids? Damn, we really living in two different worlds. America would never.”
He turned the page and saw a to-scale model of the entire clitoris, and his eyes bugged out of his head.
“That shit’s a whole wishbone…”
He continued to read through the pages in awe. M’Baku was right, he was learning a thing or two.
N’Jadaka spent the whole day in the library reading book after book on everything he could get his hands on. If it hadn’t been for his guards alerting him to the time, he would’ve missed dinner. He grabbed the last two books and went to drop them in his quarters before heading to dinner.
“Umzala, have you been in the library this whole time?”
“Yeah man, it’s a lot to take in. I might have to take that sex ed book back to the states.”
“We plan on doing just that at the Outreach Centers. Comprehensive sex education is a necessity, and since your government prefers to keep people in the dark about how their own bodies work it will be our job to educate those who come through our doors. All but the last chapter, of course.”
T’Challa winked and N’Jadaka felt like he had missed something.
“You mean the resources? Makes sense, those books wouldn't be available outs-”
“Not the books, dear, the Temple.” Ramonda chimed in.
“The what? I ain't got that far yet.”
Shuri rounded the corner and N’Jadaka expected the conversation to stop, but no.
“Remember earlier when you asked about concubines and I said we have sex workers?”
Ramonda cut her eyes at N’Jadaka as he nodded.
“Well that term doesn’t quite encompass what they do. They are sexual healers blessed by Bast herself and they reside in the Temple of Healing on the outskirts of the city near the Land of the Dead. They are known as the Daughters of Bast.”
“Now I feel bad for calling them concubines.”
“You should.” Ramonda said as she slapped him upside the head.
“Ow Auntie, damn”
T’Challa was thankful that his mother had someone else to fuss over, and he chuckled.
“I think it would be a good idea for you to pay them a visit. They are healers, after all.”
Next Chapter
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'The Bachelor' episode 2 recap: Crash course in love
Photo: ABC
Warning: This recap for episode 2 of The Bachelor contains spoilers.
Get your motor running rose lovers, because it’s week 2 and our Bachelor is ready to hunt down a wife, like a hawk stalking its prey. (Sorry for mixing my metaphors and similes, folks.) And even though the “ladies” seem to be getting along famously right now at Casa Bachelor, Chris Harrison is quick to remind them that that camaraderie will not last.
Photo: ABC
That’s for damn sure: When Becca K. gets the first one-on-one date, our resident single mom/villain Chelsea is not happy.
Photo: ABC
Becca, meanwhile, hops on the back of Arie’s (rented) motorcycle for a ride through the picturesque Southern California mountains. It’s all very romantic… except for the whole “donorcycle” thing.
Photo: ABC
Krystal’s dad, it turns out, was in a “serious” motorcycle accident, and she also knows lots of people who have died or “lost body parts” in bike accidents as well. Given all that potential awkwardness, I’m surprised Team Bachelor didn’t make Arie take Krystal on the motorcycle date. They love a good “forcing someone to confront a source of personal terror on camera” opportunity.
That said, there is something Team Bachelor loves more than making women fear for their lives, and that’s… the Pretty Woman Date™!!!
Photo: ABC
Naturally Becca is THRILLED at this development — though as a grown-ass woman living in the year 2018 she should know that a man buying you expensive clothes and baubles on your first date is not romantic, it’s creepy and infantilizing. But who cares about that when everything is so SPARKLY???
Photo: ABC
Vom. “Arie makes me feel very special,” gushes Becca. “I appreciate that he picked me to do this.” She appreciates it even more when Arie tells his little lady that she gets to keep ALL the pretty dresses, and he even has some sparkly $700 Louboutins to go with!
Photo: ABC
After poking some diamond Neil Lane earrings through Becca’s lobes, Arie goes in for the smooch, all the while keeping one hand on Becca’s neck. When Becca gets home to primp for part two of her date with Arie, she strolls in so laden with packages and shopping bags that the “ladies” can’t believe what they’re seeing.
Photo: ABC
“Look at those shoes! Are those Louboutins?” shrieks Lauren G. “Eeeeeeeee!” The women vociferously demur when Becca admits she was nervous about bringing all her loot home — and even though the air is thick with jealousy and tension, most of it seems to be directed inward rather than at Becca herself. “Oh my God,” sighs Bibiana ruefully. “They’re gonna get married.” Oh gurl, look at the odds — that’s very unlikely.
Over dinner that night, Arie does a lot of the talking, telling Becca that he feels “wiser” since his last experience on TV and reiterating that his real estate career allowed him to “slow down” and get ready for romance. When Becca does get to speak, it’s to fill Arie in on her late father’s battle with brain cancer — which was, understandably, “the hardest time that I had ever lived through at that point.” The experience, says Becca, brought her even closer to her family — and she’s happy to hear that Arie has strong family ties, too. Of course, she gets the date rose… and some free Neil Lane earrings!
Photo: ABC
Also, I really wish he’d stop running his hands through Becca’s hair. It’s a little much.
The second date of the week is — hold up — another one-on-one date? With Krystal? Well I hope the fitness coach (or whatever) is ready to bring her A-game, because as Arie said, “Becca has definitely set the bar high.”
Krystal may not walk away from her date with a pile of bling, but she will have something to make the other “ladies” jealous: Arie’s taking her home to Scottsdale, Arizona! And she LOVES it.
Photo: ABC
Vom. Once in Arizona, Arie gives Krystal the nickel tour, showing her the Pizza Hut where he worked as a teen, the tree where he had his first kiss, his high school, and naturally his condo, where they pore through old photo albums and watch home movies.
Photo: ABC
But why look at old photos when you can have an awkward encounter with the real thing? That’s right: Arie surprises Krystal with the news that they’re going to meet his family! Though Mr. and Mrs. Arie weren’t super warm the last time they met one of Arie’s dates on TV (see: talking in front of Bachelorette Emily in Dutch), they do their best to endure Krystal’s breathy questioning about how they met.
Photo: ABC
“My mom loves you — I can tell,” Arie tells Krystal as they leave his parents’ home. As for his sister-in-law? I think this barely-repressed sigh speaks for itself.
Photo: ABC
At dinner, Arie invites Krystal to speak (“I want this also to be about you”) — specifically about her family and growing up. As we’ve learned from numerous confessionals, Krystal doesn’t have a close relationship with her family, and she’s nervous about revealing this to the Bachelor. Still, she soldiers on: “My dad wasn’t a part of my life, and my mom was there but was so emotionally unavailable — and I just really felt like my parents didn’t want me.”
Dayum, that’s rough. Krystal goes on tell Arie about the day her brother called her from the hospital after getting beaten up, and she learned he had been living on the streets. The Bachelor assures Krystal that her difficult upbringing doesn’t “reflect negatively” on her, and that he’s not put off by her struggles. In fact, says Arie, he specifically brought Krystal to meet his family in order to ease his mother’s mind about the types of women he would be dating on the show. “You are amazing,” he concludes, handing over the date rose.
Did you have “awkward private concert by (mostly) unknown artist” on your Bachelor bingo game? Time to stamp that card!
Photo: ABC
Maybe next time, Connor.
On to the group date — which is so large Team Bachelor had to hire a tractor-trailer limo to fit all the women inside. Maquel, Marikh, Tia, Valerie, Annaliese, Lauren G., Kendall, Bekah, Jenny, Sienne, Jenna, Caroline, Brittany, Bibiana, [giant gasp for air] and Chelsea bounce out of the truck in their cute athleisure gear and are greeted by Arie, who drives up in a spray-painted beater
He briefs the “ladies” on demolition derby ground rules, and then sends them off to spray paint their cars. To their credit, some of the women get pretty creative with their designs. Winner:
Photo: ABC
Runner-up:
Photo: ABC
Unfortunately Annaliese can’t stop crying; it seems she had a traumatic experience with bumper cars as a child — which Team Bachelor promptly illustrates, nightmare-dream-sequence style.
Photo: ABC
“A bumper car trauma?” scoffs Jenny, one of the 17 blondes on the date. “I didn’t know that bumper car trauma is a thing.” Damn right it is, toots! Especially if it gets Arie to come over and comfort the still-weeping Annaliese one-on-one. The girl’s no fool.
Naturally Chris Harrison is there — along with racecar driver Robby Gordon — to do the color commentary for the “Bashelor Demolition Derby.” And damn, the host isn’t holding back. “So could this be the first time that Arie actually wins something on a race track?”
Photo: ABC
When the air horn blows, the women hit the gas. Suddenly Annaliese transforms from a weepy wuss to a stunt driver in Death Race 2000: She rams into Chelsea, “t-bones” Kendall, and slams into Marikh, all while driving in reverse. “She’s crushing girls like it’s her job!” marvels Harrison. Several minutes of ear-splitting metal-on-metal action later, Seinne emerges victorious in the derby, beating out Raven 2. “Second place sucks d***,” she groans.
Though she didn’t last the longest, Brittany’s derby run was apparently so violent that she upset her own equilibrium, because by the time the after-party rolls around, she is not in attendance. “Brittany smashed everybody with her car,” explains Jenna, “and unfortunately can’t be here.” Hmmm… if Brittany’s going to let something like whiplash or a possible concussion stop her from competing for Arie, maybe she doesn’t really want to be married after all.
Immediately after the toast, Chelsea pulls Arie away for a private chat. It’s time for her to reveal her big secret: She has a 3-year-old son, Sammy! The Bachelor is unfazed, as he once fell for single mom Emily Maynard, and he even lived with a woman with two kids for over a year. “I know that it’s hard to be away [from your son],” says the Bachelor. “It makes me happy that you’re here and taking a chance on me.” Then he eats her face.
Photo: ABC
The women, on the other hand, aren’t so supportive. So what if Chelsea sacrificed time with her son to be here? All of them sacrificed something — like time away from posting on Instagram or posting homemade exercise videos on YouTube! “Everybody has a story,” notes Bibiana. Seinne’s, for instance, involves graduating from Yale, studying abroad in Brazil, and generally being far too good for this show/Arie. And he knows it: “I barely graduated high school and worked at Pizza Hut!” Of course, Arie isn’t going to let his insecurities stop him from macking on Seinne; when she attempts to pull away from their “thanks for the chat” hug, he keeps his arm firmly around her neck until she realizes the only means of escape is to kiss him.
Photo: ABC
As the night wears on, Bibiana — who was already irritable when the party began — grows ever more frustrated as woman after woman grabs Arie before she can. That is, if she’s even trying — we only ever see her sulking on the couch.
Photo: ABC
“I’m done,” she says with a pout, before stomping out of the room and slamming the door. Meanwhile…
Photo: ABC
“It was, like, really hot,” reports Bekah of her first smooch with the Kissing Bandit. Not hot enough, toots: Seinne gets the date rose!
Photo: ABC
Seinne is in it to win it, dawg.
Cocktail party time! Arie — who either is a true gentleman or just knows how to approximate one, I can’t decide — kicks off the night by seeking out Brittany T., to make sure she feels better after her demolition derby-related injury. She does, especially after the Bachelor gives her this:
Photo: ABC
We interrupt this recap to remind you that fur is gross, folks. Here’s hoping Bekah the nanny’s coat is faux.
Photo: ABC
“I lead with chemistry, and with Bekah, there’s a lot of that,” says Captain Obvious. “She’s bold and charismatic, and when we kiss, it was just apparent that she could be the whole package.” The whole package minus about 10 years, but why quibble?
After an intern surgically removes Arie from Bekah’s face, he gets accosted by Krystal, who feels it’s necessary to “follow up” with the Bachelor even though she already has a rose. As you can imagine, this does not go over well.
Photos: ABC
“I’m not worried,” breathes Krystal in her hyperventilating baby voice. “Some girls are a little weird, and some are very young, and some girls aren’t even there yet.” Which may be why she thinks it’s ok to interrupt Arie again while he’s talking to Bibiana, and you just know Bibi Gun is not about to lose her time tonight.
Krystal: “Do you mind if I step in for a moment?”
Bibiana: “I actually do.”
The tension carries over into the house when Krystal foolishly (or as a calculated manipulation) comes and sits next to Bibiana. “I really think that you have a lot of balls just coming to sit down with us,” growls Bibi. “When you learn to speak to me like a normal human being and not with a fake tone, then I can actually respect you.” Then she does a dramatic interpretation of Krystal’s annoying personality.
Photo: ABC
When Krystal tries to protest that she was just “checking on” Bibiana, Miss Miami puts a stop to that real quick. “Baby girl, it’s not about checking. If I’m trying to talk to my man, you need to back the f**k up.” Naturally, Team Bachelor makes them stand next to each other at the rose ceremony.
Photo: ABC
Fortunately for Krystal, Bibiana — who warned that Krystal would have to “sleep with one eye open” if she got sent home — gets a rose. She joins Maquel, Jacqueline, Bekah M., Jenna, Chelsea, Lauren S., Raven 2, Annaliese, Lauren B., Kendall, Brittany, Ashley, Marikh, Caroline, Becca, Seinne and Krystal in the winners’ circle. That means we must say goodbye to Lauren G. (2 down, 2 to go!), Valerie, and Jenny… who takes it the hardest.
Photo: ABC
Ever the gentleman (or a jerk capable of impersonating a gentleman, I’m not sure), Arie goes after Jenny to comfort her in her time of nationally televised rejection. “I have to make tough choices,” he says. “And I just didn’t see it.” And Jenny’s all, Whatever, Old Man River. “I’m not sad about you,” she sniffs. “I’m sad about leaving my new friends.” Indeed, Jenny has never experienced rejection before, and she definitely does not enjoy it. “He literally picked a taxidermist over me,” she moans. “I just feel like I embarrassed myself.” Finally, Jenny and I agree on something.
And with that, rose lovers, we’re done with week two. (The “next week on” preview can be summed up in one word: Tears.) So tell me, do you think Arie’s a true gentleman or just playing one on TV? Does anyone else feel guilty about hating Krystal, given her tough upbringing? And why in the world would anyone ever want a pickled bat? Post your thoughts now! And be sure to check out Chris Harrison’s exclusive blog right here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get examined for whiplash… just in case.
The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.
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24 with............ broly/raditz ;)
“Oh my God, you’re in love with them!”
Yamcha plopped down on the bench next to Raditz and leaned back against the table. “So what’s eating you?”
Raditz glared at him. “Nothing.”
“Dude, you’re bouncing your leg hard enough to set off a Richter scale. You only do that when something’s bothering you. So what’s up? Maybe I can help.” Yamcha grinned at him. Something in Raditz’s gut clenched. It had been years since he’d first arrived on Earth, since he kidnapped his nephew and tried to eradicate all life on the planet. In that time, he’d tried to prove he was worthy of everything Kakarott had done for him. He’d fought monsters that far outstripped him in power, he’d died trying to set things right. (He came back, but he’d still died.) But that wasn’t enough for him. He didn’t deserve the friendliness offered to him by Kakarott’s friends, by his nephew.
By Broly, of all people.
“It’s nothing,” he said, “don’t worry your pretty head over it.”
Yamcha glared at him. “Look, I’m trying to be nice here. You’ve gotta talk about your feelings and shit with somebody and it may as well be me. You really want to hash your feelings out with Goku? Or worse, Vegeta? How about Piccolo, or Tien, or one of the other emotionally repressed assholes we keep hanging out with?” Raditz grimaced. None of those sounded appealing. Yamcha slugged him in the arm. “Come on, you can talk to me. I promise not to laugh.”
Raditz glanced across the park to where Broly was receiving meditation lessons from Piccolo. Ever since he’d crashed on Earth, he’d been making the same efforts as Raditz. Honestly, Raditz understood. There was something about Earth that made you want to protect it, even though it was as backwoods as planets got and probably wouldn’t even join the intergalactic community for a few more decades at best. It was quaint. And apparently, even the Legendary Super Saiyan himself wasn’t immune to its qualities.
That, at least, made him feel a little better.
“It’s like this,” he said, carefully choosing his words. “Now that Broly’s here, I feel like I should…I don’t know, try to be closer to him, I think? He’s one of only four remaining full-blooded Saiyans. And really…of all of us, I’m the oldest left. I’m the only one who remembers some of our traditions and stuff. Vegeta knows because Nappa made us learn, but he doesn’t care, and getting Kakarott to sit still long enough to learn anything takes either a miracle or six tons of rock.” Yamcha snorted. “But Broly–I don’t know. I just want to talk to him, I think. But he’s avoiding me because I look like Kakarott, and it bothers me. I’m not really sure why.”
Yamcha patted his shoulder sympathetically. “I’m sure Broly will warm up to you, Raditz. Hell, if Chi-Chi can, so can he.” He laughed and Raditz scowled. “Look, just go over and say hi, okay? It’s not hard. Maybe ask if you can join in the meditation lessons.”
Raditz bared his teeth. “I hate meditation.” Most Saiyans hated sitting still by nature. Their blood called for action, for violence–meditation wasn’t something they generally put much stock in. The only reason Broly was agreeing to it was in an attempt to calm and control his insane power. “Besides, Piccolo still doesn’t like me.”
“Piccolo doesn’t like anyone except Gohan; I wouldn’t take it personally.” Raditz snorted. “Go on, it’ll be fun! Well, okay, not fun, but it’ll be a start, anyway.”
Reluctantly, Raditz pulled himself to his feet. “If this goes badly, I’m blaming you.”
“Sure, whatever.” Yamcha waved him off. “Knock ‘em dead. Actually wait, no, don’t do that.”
“Too late,” Raditz called over his shoulder, sauntering towards Broly and Piccolo.
Broly looked up when Raditz approached and Piccolo immediately slapped his knee. “Concentrate, dammit,” he muttered.
“Raditz is here,” Broly said quietly, pointing.
Piccolo cracked an eye open and glared. “What?”
Raditz folded his arms. “I want to join in. That a problem?”
Broly perked up and turned to Piccolo. “Can he?”
Piccolo eyed Raditz, then sighed and closed his eye again. “Fine. So long as you’re quiet.”
Broly was becoming a problem.
Or, well, it wasn’t Broly himself that was the problem, if Raditz was being honest, but if there was one thing Raditz was good at it was not being honest with himself. He’d succeeded with his original plan of talking to Broly, getting a little closer to him, finding out more about him. And Broly was actually a really interesting guy. He was a lot quieter than Raditz expected when he wasn’t a screaming rage monster. He listened when Raditz talked–really listened, not just pretend-listening so Raditz would go away faster, or pity-listening. He seemed genuinely interested in Raditz and what he had to say.
And he was cute. Raditz wasn’t going to deny that. Broly was downright cute when he wasn’t the Legendary Super Saiyan, and having seen his other form Raditz could safely say that even as the Legendary Super Saiyan he was still hot as hell. He hated shirts in the same way that Raditz hated long pants, refusing to wear them unless strictly necessary.
The thing was that there was a sadness to him, a distance in his eyes, even when he was paying close attention to what was happening. Raditz could recognise it as the look of someone afraid of getting attached because they’re used to having what they want ripped from them without warning. He could empathize with it.
Broly laughed at Raditz’s jokes. Raditz prided himself on his awful, awful puns, sometimes getting into a pun-off with Yamcha to the dismay of everyone around them. And Broly laughed at every single one.
No, Broly himself wasn’t the problem. The problem was that Broly was perfect.
“Oh my God,” Yamcha said when Raditz told him all of this. “You’re in love with him.”
Raditz wrinkled his nose. “I am not.”
“You are!” Yamcha laughed and Raditz scowled. “Holy shit, you are totally in love with him! That’s…that’s fucking hilarious oh my God.”
“When you’re done laughing at my expense,” Raditz snapped, “I’m not in love with Broly. It’s just that he’s fucking perfect and it’s making me feel even more inferior than usual, jackass. Thanks for wrecking my day.”
“Okay, first of all.” Yamcha sat up straight, totally serious. “Broly is not perfect. I mean yeah he’s got the Legendary thing going for him, which is cool I guess, but the guy can barely talk without running away, he’s literally freeloading at the Lookout until further notice because Goku begged Piccolo and Dende to let him, and he is the clumsiest person I’ve ever seen. Seriously, just yesterday I watched him bump into a china cabinet of Mrs. Briefs’s and almost cry about it. That kid’s got issues, Raditz. He’s not perfect.”
Raditz hesitated. None of that sounded all that bad to him.
“Secondly,” Yamcha continued, “you should ask him out.”
Raditz looked flatly at him. “Absolutely not.”
“Oh, come on! It’d be fun!” Yamcha leaned in conspiratorially. “I bet he’s a real monster in bed, you know.”
He could feel his face turning red. “That’s not–no, I’m–look, you don’t get it. Even if I wanted to ask him out, which I don’t, he’s so much stronger than me.” Yamcha raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t mean much to you, but for Saiyans strength is everything. There’s too big a gap between us. And his father was decently high-ranking, or at least higher than my parents. So there’s that. I can’t ask him out. Not that I want to,” he added hastily. “It’s just…annoying, that he’s so great, that’s all.”
The smirk Yamcha gave him told him he wasn’t convinced. “Okay, sure. Whatever you say.” He stood up from the table and stretched. “Well, I guess I’m heading out. Say hi to Goku and Chi-Chi for me.”
“Raditz!”
Raditz pulled his blanket over his head. It was too early to be dealing with his sister-in-law’s yelling.
“Raditz, march your keister down here right this minute, bucko!”
He groaned and sat up, blinking blearily at the clock on the wall. It was definitely too early for this. He didn’t bother getting dressed, deciding that Chi-Chi could deal with his star-printed boxers and worn-thin t-shirt as punishment for waking him so early. He dragged himself down the stairs, rubbing groggily at his face.
“Whatever you want better be important,” he started as he walked into the living room. What he saw immediately woke him up the rest of the way.
Broly stood in the middle of the living room, hands awkwardly at his sides. He perked up when Raditz made eye contact. Chi-Chi stood in front of him, glaring between Broly and Radiz. “He said he’s here to see you,” she said curtly. “Whatever it is, you two are settling this outside, and away from the house, you hear? If you’re going to get into fights I want you to leave my house out of it.”
“Oh, I’m not here to fight, ma’am,” Broly reassured her.
Chi-Chi seemed to relax at being addressed as ‘ma’am.’ “Well, take it outside anyway. Raditz, you can come have breakfast when you’re done.” She shooed them out of the house and shut the door behind her.
Raditz turned to Broly. “What the hell are you doing here?” Broly looked down and scratched his nose instead of replying. “Uh, Base 633 to Broly, you there?” He waved a hand in front of Broly’s face.
“Do you really think all those nice things about me?” Broly blurted.
Raditz blinked, then realisation dawned. “Y-you–have you been talking with Yamcha?”
Broly looked up at him with a smile, timid but wide. “Maybe.”
“I’m gonna kill him.” Raditz ran a hand through his hair and stalked around in a circle. “I’m gonna kill him and his stupid cat.”
“Don’t,” Broly said, putting a hand on Raditz’s arm. Raditz almost flinched away, but held his ground. “If he hadn’t said anything I might not have known my feelings were returned.”
Wait.
“F-feelings?” he stammered. “You have–what kind of feelings?”
Broly stepped towards him and his smile brightened when Raditz didn’t move back. “Raditz, son of Bardock and Gine, would it be alright if I started courting you?”
A million thoughts and feelings flashed through Raditz’s mind at once–this was wrong, they were of completely different levels, they couldn’t be together, he didn’t like Broly like that, but yes he did, and who cared, they were on Earth now, they could play by Earth’s rules–before he nodded. “I think I’d like that.”
Broly’s smile was as perfect as the rest of him. “Courting starts now,” he murmured, and then his lips were on Raditz’s in a kiss Raditz hadn’t realised he’d been waiting for.
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