#especially bc there's so much hurt in her life and people trying to pull her one way or the other

[calronhunt]

didnt want to be extra annoying and ask this on your art blog so ill settle for just being annoying.. was anything in wac inspired by the life series? like designs or well, anything! discovered ur stuff on youtube and went ooooh and then snooped through all the art i could find and was repeatedly reminded of the sillies that occupy my brain. sorry 2 be weird! ik its the worst question to be asked sorry but its hurting my brain wondering and not knowing

Aw shit ya caught me. I was gonna reveal this fact much later down the line bc ive been kinda open that WAC started out as an AU just not for what. Primarily the reason for secrecy is bc i don't want people to look at this story i put a lot of myself and my experience into and go "I can't believe you tricked me into reading about minecraft men" bc the story has expanded a lot past these intial inspirations.

So before i go into all the inspirations, I wanna make this perfectly clear. WAC's plot is almost completely original, baring some small scenes inspired by events in the Life series and the basic set up. It's a three act story that is mostly about me and my partners problems regarding abuse and personhood. The Life Series au was a starting point and it kinda spiraled out from that lollll.

(Also I saw your other ask and it doesn't bother me at all! Its been something ive wanted to talk about anyway simply bc i find the inspirations funny. Plus I promised myself if someone realized and asked I would talk about it. Also i just love talking about inspiration and seeing how you got from one thing to the next, maybe others would like the same.)

1. "Why are they cats?" This started as an au once again but i felt too embarrassed talking about it publicly as a mcyt au so I gave them cat designs. That's the only reason lol

Lain - Inspired primarily by 3rd life and lim life martyn in regards to both his devotion to the king (ren) and mariner (scott). Lain and Mariner originally started as Majorwood shipping cats but then became more about their unhealthy power dynamics and two people being stuck together it spiraled into what we have now! Especially since I believe Martyn killed Jimmy (Canary) in 3rd life? Or at least scott accuses him as such so that's where that came from.

Mariner - 3rd/lim life scott! His obsession with the sea, his name, his relationship to Canary, his ties to Lain, and his design is pulled from scott. That's about all that's similar now though. His personality is completely different. Hes a shitty fuckinh dude.

Canary - 3rd life Jimmy Solidarity but like fucking barely and just bc hes married to mariner (flower husbands). Took his name from the fandom calling him a canary because he always dies first and that's basically it. Also worked with the bird name theme i was starting to go with

The King - 3rd life ren but again fucking BARELY except for his relationship with Lain and being a king and trying to conquer shit. That's like. It.

Condor - he's just mr good times with scar. Hes like, the closest to his mcyt counterpart probably and im not even sorry. Took primarily from 3rd life and lim life once again though in regards to his relationship with Crane (Cleo), Warbler (bdubs), and Scout (Etho) (and also the fact the group is called the flock is a cheeky callback to the family being called the clockers)

Crane - stated above, Cleo, but only bc shes mom in the clockers family. Nothing else.

Warbler - limlife bdubs but again fucking BARELY. I think the bdubs skin is the most i drew on for her design with the fucked up eye and teeth.

Grouse - mr 3rd life grian. Dating condor because desert duo and feeling indebted to him for that as well. And just. Generally little guy vibes.

Scout - etho. Just for chill vibes. Dating Crabe because hes "dad" in lim life and dating Wolf (Joel) bc of double life halfslab.

Wolf - Primarily last life joel with the living alone in the woods thing and joel just being a like. Maniac in the life series with the murders and such. Dating scout again bc of double life. The her having canary's skull thing is just for my friend who is a big fucked up smallidarity shipper.

Sycamore, coal, and aster are original characters i made specifically for the story.

I would again like to state that the story is BARELY tied to things that happen in the life series, and its mostly my personal experiences and silly thoughts. The silly minecraft men were just the jumping off point and all of their arcs are original so there ya go <3

#ask #waves always crash

[anti-endo-haven]

Tws:, gaslighting and manipulation, emotional incest (?), online grooming (Im so sorry if there's more I forgot, pls stay safe <3)

today's been a very stressful day so far, our step mother messaged the body's younger sister telling her how depressed our bio father was because we (us and our siblings) haven't seen/talked to him in a while, so the drama with my bio father has triggered a lot of memories that I hate, tbh almost any mention of him does, especially bc then we started talking about how my therapist thinks our bio father is a pedo, it doesn't help that I'm already a trauma holder for similar trauma, like it's brought up memories of the time our bio father would randomly just squeeze our hips, or the times he would grab us by our hips and pull us against him while we were cuddling, as well as the time he made me put on my bathing suit and basically model it for him to make sure it was "appropriate" it was a two piece and I had already tried it on, he made me do this in front of our siblings, it doesn't help that this happened around the time the trauma I hold happened, I hold our online grooming trauma, it happened from when we were around 10 until about 13, it doesn't help that because of this trauma ive been hypersexual since I was 10, I feel so disgusting and gross, I feel tainted, I want to rip my skin off but there's nothing I can do about it now, I'm sorry this was so long, I just needed to vent and get this off my chest

(💊 from the rainbow system)

It isn’t your fault that you’re not talking to an abuser. Your step-mother is in the wrong completely for trying to weaponize depression against you. He dug his grave, he can lay in it. He is disgusting and has hurt kids that he was supposed to care for.

Try and find some things that can help you destress and provide some happiness. I know it might not be much, but even a little help can do some wonders.

It’s vile behavior that he did and you didn’t deserve that. None of that was your fault. His actions are his own and you were trying to live and survive.

I’m sorry you went through all of that so young, the internet can be terrible and there’s so many people that will harm others. You don’t deserve to be hurt like that, you didn’t deserve to be hurt like that.

You’re not disgusting or gross, it’s sad that it’s a product of what happened, but you’re doing an excellent job. I’m proud of you. You’re good enough. You’re not a disappointment, you’re not a mistake, you’re not a failure. You’re a survivor and we will always stick together. If you need to cut your stepmother out of your life to be able to do better mentally, do so if you’re able.

If you’re able, see if a luke warm or preferred temperature bath can help. Add some music in the background. Bath bomb if you have one, use some body wash for bubbles, small things to make it a little better. Just to relax. This is completely optional and I know it doesn’t work for everyone. We use these as a more serene thing, saying that the water is washing away what we don’t want to be there, the bubbles are a form of soap which is helping wash it away. The music is to help ground us. Again, it’s completely optional and it might not help so 100% try and find something that can help ground you when you’re able to.

Much love from us! You’re doing everything you can and you’re doing great. ❤️

Have a cookie!

🍪

#tw gaslighting #tw manipulation #tw emotional abuse #tw emotional manipulation #tw emotional incest #tw incest mentions #tw incest #tw inc*st #tw online grooming #anti endo #did system #system #osddid #traumagenic system #endos dni #endos not for you #actually did #actually traumagenic #did plural #did plurality #osdd plural #osdd plurality #💊 #the rainbow system

[sp0o0kylights]

⭐

AAA THANK YOU

I fricken love interactions bless you I actually had to sit here and decide which part I wanted to do

Or, "send in a ⭐star⭐  to have the author select a section they’ve been dying to talk about!"

SO, ADOPT A JOCK Ch. 5 Part 2, someone on A03 commented that the conversation between Steve and Eddie is almost reading like Steve is from the future (but they were hoping Steve was just identifying Eddie as special.) They were referencing the below exchange:

"The less anyone knows, the safer everyone is. Especially you." 

"What does that mean!?" Eddie's voice grew loud for a second, and Steve hissed a word at him that Gareth couldn't make out but was probably "Shut it." 

"Just promise me you will never explore that lab." 

and I responded but now I'm going IN DEPTH because

Yes, Steve is recognizing that Eddie is a special bean, but at this time it's not so MUCH of his crush, as it is that even though Steve is friends with Gareth and Jeff, and has hung out with them individually at this point, Eddie is still his "main" friend and connection to Hellfire.

If he loses Eddie, he feels he might lose his connection to everyone else. He realized in this scene here that he trusts Eddie and what Eddie says. He trusts that Eddie wants him as a friend, and will accept him as he is (even with teasing and shit.) There's no ulterior motive.

Steve at this point has been rejected by Nancy and is in a weird place with her and Jonathan, is having a rough time with his parents (he's about to be strong-armed into the Scoops job so his home life with his parents is very tense and disapproving) and yes, he's still driving the kids around but also they're you know. Kids.

He doesn't have anyone to lean on--except Eddie.

It's still a very new thing, and our boi got dat anxiety. Sure he's hung out with Jeff and Gareth separately and he's getting closer to them at this point ( LIKES them in fact), but he also feels most comfortable with Eddie, and is very worried if he loses Eddie, he loses the rest of them too.

It's selfish and Steve knows that, but mentally he's a lil rocky, and just doesn't want to lose this person who accepted him so wholeheartedly, doesn't want to see what would happen to the rest of Hellfire if Eddie got hurt or died. He also knows that Eddie is a central core to so many people, has helped so many people and he doesn't want to come out and SAY that Eddie can't get hurt bc so many ppl love him so much.

Steve is ALSO very aware that if anyone was to explore the lab and get into trouble (instead of turning around or playing it safe) It'd be Eddie. This means Eddie is at a LOT higher of a risk of getting hurt or finding something he shouldn't.

There's also some guilt here--Steve doesn't want to go to the lab. He's never been, his challenge was the tunnels, but he's heard of what happened there. He's been physically dragged into this all once already, he doesn't want to do it again. Feels responsible bc HE knows whats up, and if he "LETS" Eddie go to the lab, he feels like HE has to be the one to pull them out.

Our boys got so much twisty feelings. He feels kinda abandoned, he's trying to find this new person he still wants to be, and he already knows he's not getting into college so it's just this mess of sad boi Steve Harrington hours, and one of his few bright spots is Eddie.

That got threatened and he panicked.

ANYWAY thank you spilled-jar for asking I really appreciate it I love talking about this shit (clearly) and also the person who commented the above on A03 because I love comments because it lets me go on about all this lol!

#steddie #directors cut #adopt a jock #steve harrington #sad boi hours #steve harrington needs a hug

[toxic-ship-tournament]

ROUND 1 / SIDE B / POLL 2

Esmeralda Poofenplotz x Alice Luoja ( @cantdanceflynn ) vs Pash x Illoma ( @floralprintshirts )

lyrics by The Amazing Devil (Battle Cries)

who makes up your ship?:

Esmeralda Poofenplotz(Canon Phineas and Ferb character(although I draw her differently from canon)) and Alice Luoja(Background character turned Phineas and Ferb oc)

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

THEY BASICALLY STARTED OUT AS TWO DUMBASS TOXIC AF TEENAGERS GOING TO EVIL SCIENCE HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER AND BEING THE TERRORS OF THE SCHOOL(POOFENPLOTZ BC SHES BIG ON BEAUTY AND WOULD BASICALLY DESTROY EVERYONE'S SELF ESTEEM AND ALICE BC. SHES WILLING TO KILL ANYONE WHO RLY FUCKS W HER), AND WHILE THEY ORIGINALLY HAD A RIVALRY IT GOT A LIL TOO HOMOEROTIC VERY QUICKLY AND THEY DON'T RLY KNOW HOW BUT THEY ENDED UP DATING. THEY ENDED UP, SURPRISE SURPRISE, RUINING EACH OTHER EVEN FURTHER THEN THE TWO OF THEM WERE ALREADY TRAUMATIZED!!!! A TYPICAL INTERACTION BETWEEN EM PRETTY MUCH WENT ALONG THE LINES OF POOFENPLOTZ POKING FUN AT SOMETHING ABOUT ALICES BODY OR PERSONALITY SHE KNEW WOULD TICK ALICE OFF("YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SAYING YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT, BUT THROWING UP YOUR LUNCH LATER COULDN'T HURT"), ALICE GETTING PISSED OFF AND PULLING A KNIFE ON HER("YOU KNOW, MAYBE THIS TIME I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR TONGUE, STOP THAT HORRIBLE NOISE YOU CALL A VOICE"), AND THEN SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN OR ONE OF THEM WOULD FUMBLE OR FLIRT AND THEY'D JUST GO BACK TO NORMAL BANTER AND TERRORIZING PEOPLE. THEY DID CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER, AND WHATEVER THEY WERE EXPERIENCING CERTAINLY FIT SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE STRANGE AND NEBULOUS RANGE OF ROMANTIC LOVE, LIKE THEY DEFINITELY LIKED EACH OTHER, THEY WERE JUST TOXIC AS SHIT AND HAVING THEIR BEHAVIORS EXPANDED UPON OR REINFORCED BY THEIR ENVIRONMENT. EVENTUALLY ALICES OBSESSION W GODHOOD AND HER IDEA OF PERFECTION (ONE THAT HAD ALWAYS BEEN THERE, EVEN IF POOFENPLOTZ MADE IT MORE PHYSICAL) ENDED UP DRIVING THE TWO APART, WITH HOW HORRIBLE ALICES DECLINE WAS, AND POOFENPLOTZ ENDED UP BASICALLY LEAVING AND IGNORING HER AS A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO SNAP HER OUT OF HER DECLINE BUT ONLY PULLED HER FURTHER IN. AS IT STANDS NOW IN THE PRESENT, THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS A COMPLICATED SPIRAL OF "POOFENPLOTZ ACTUALLY HEALED AND REALIZED HOW AWFUL SHE WAS BEING AND WHILE SHE STILL HAD A DEGREE IN EVIL SCIENCE SHE HAD TO USE SO SHE MIGHT AS WELL GET A JOB DOING THAT, SHES ALSO RLY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT EVERYTHING W THE CAST AND HELP THEM, ESPECIALLY MILLIE AND PINKY, WHILE ALSO DEALING W " WHOOPS YOUR EX IS BACK IN TOWN AND SHES NOW BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR MORE DEATHS THEN MOST FULL ON TERRORISM COMBINED, BUT SHE IS ALSO STILL KINDA HOT SO *NONCOMMITTAL HAND GESTURE*, YA KNOW?", MEANWHILE ALICE IS "OH RIGHT. SHE QUALIFIES FOR LOVEMUFFIN TOO. IM ALLOWED TO DENY ON HER ON TERMS OF HER BEING MY EX, RIGHT? BUT ALSO IM STILL GONNA INVITE HER TO OUR MEETINGS AND ALSO OFFER TO LET HER " LEAD" THE CULT IVE MADE THAT CONSISTS BASICALLY JUST OF MY VERY ABUSED OWN SON AND A VERY ABUSED TEENAGER WITH ME BC IF I CAN CHANGE HER MIND I CAN CHANGE ANYONES!"

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

Esmeralice, https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnP0Xop8gS5VdFNCP4Uetvq2pM5A9NZTe <- BAD PLAYLIST BY MY STANDARDS OF USUALLY A HUNDRED SONGS AT LEAST BUT ITLL DO FOR NOW

****

who makes up your ship?:

My ocs Pash and Illoma!!

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

OKAY SO theyre blorbos from a book a plan to write and basically the premise is that the main character, Illoma, is tasked with assassinating Pash. Theyre both from different families that have control over dragons and are both dragon riders in their own right. Illoma is from the 2nd most powerful house right after the royal family, which Pash is a part of. Their empire is ruled by an immortal god-king who has had many children over the course of his long life. Pash is one of his many descendants, but highest in the line of succession after her father (which is meaningless since the king is immortal). Basically, Illoma's mother believes that Pash's parents are going to try to find a way to kill their emperor and put her on the throne. This would be a terrible outcome for everyone because Pash is a hedonistic party girl who seems to have no regard for her own life or the lives of other people. She shows up to important meetings drunk/high, has a reputation for sleeping around with women, and is overall just an undisciplined mess. Illoma is a dutiful daughter who follows the rules of society, so when her mother tells her that she needs to kill Pash for the good of the empire, Illoma does what she says. It’s easy to emotionally disconnect herself from the action at first because Illoma doesn’t know Pash at all and doesn’t particularly like her. So she tries to poison Pash. When it fails the first time, she tries again, and again, and again. None of the poisons she’s been given are working. So Illoma is left with no choice but to get closer to Pash so she can try to kill her more effectively. The twist ends up being that Pash is basically a hommuculus created for the sole purpose of dying in some blood ritual that will kill the immortal god-king. She has a year left before this happens, but until then, he body has the regenerative properties of Wolverine. So with what little time she has left, she’s decided to keep herself entertained by fucking with Illoma. At one point, she makes a toast in Illoma’s honor to praise her tenacity and drinks the goblet Illoma poisoned while making direct eye contact with her. It only gets worse from there. As they grow closer, Illoma finds that she has more and more trouble keeping her gay thoughts in check. She is a super repressed lesbian and Pash is a very much not repressed lesbian. Illoma resents Pash quite a bit for being able to break all the rules without any consequences but genuinely has fun when they go out on excursions together. Lots of projection on Illoma’s part and gaslighting on Pash’s (“haha what do you mean you stabbed me last night, Im sitting right here at breakfast!”) Halfway through the story they start boning. Illoma is still actively trying to figure out a way to kill Pash and Pash is both aware of this and aroused by some of her more intimate attempts. They have an actual connection and like each other as people, but they have opposing goals and lots of underlying animosity to work out. In the meantime, they’ll be making out about it.

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

I use the tag "dragon horse girl story" on my sideblog to vaguepost about them!! :D

#alice x esmerelda #pash x illoma #cantdanceflynn #floralprintshirts #toxic ship tournament

[akoyaxs]

BLAZING TOUCH EXCERPT

Hey so I know I've been a little inactive with writing lately bc I've been having rlly bad writers block- but my need to respond to every single fucking comment on my wattpad has lead me to rereading a lot of my writing and I actually really like this chapter from Blazing Touch so I thought I might share it to help tie it over until I can finally post my new ff.

For a little Background: it's about Kiri's twin (an OC called Akoya) who goes w them to the reef and its a little enemies to lovers with Aonung. In this part, Kiri's gone into her seizure (the plot kind of follows twow) and Akoya's so worried for her twin. Also Khalo is their friend from the Omatikaya clan <3

It also switches POV

Hope you enjoy pookies and click the link on Blazing touch if you want to read more

━━━━⊱AKOYA POV⊰━━━━

"What?" I say, pulling out of the trance-like state I must have been in and looking back at my mom. 

Neytiri is crouched in front of me, worriedly studying my face, and I realise several tears are sliding down it.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes," I say quickly, which must just be a reflex at this point. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Mom moves closer to clasp my hand.

"My child, you can tell me. What is going on with you? Are you missing the forest? Is it Kiri? Is it Aonung?"

"No!" I say loudly. "I'm... yes. I'm just so worried about Kiri. She's my twin."

"Of course, Koy," Neytiri says, smoothing my hair. "Norm is on his way. Your father called him-"

"Norm?" I ask incredulously.

"Yes," my mother says, rolling her eyes.

"But what if he can't fix her?" I ask. "They're all just humans and they can't do anything. She needs to wake up Mom."

"Oh come here my child," Mom says, pulling me into a tight hug.

I let her embrace me for a few moments, but when I pull away, she speaks again.

"You have to go outside now. You've been cooped up in here this whole time, and people want to see you."

"Who?" I ask suspiciously.

"You know who," mom says, and she pushes me outside before I can say anything else. 

And of course, I have to run straight into Aonung. 

He must have been waiting outside, and he instantly reaches out to steady me. I push his hands off and move away quickly, careful to avoid eye contact.

In a hazy memory, I recall the last time I saw him I had cried horrifyingly embarrassingly and he had held me tight while I tried to fight my way to get to Kiri.

No one ever saw me cry, especially not annoying, infuriating, handsome skxawngs that make my life so hard and need me to protect them all the time.

"Akoya, wait!" He calls after me, but I tuck my hands and tail in so he can't grab anything as I move onto the beach.

"What, Aonung."

"Are you alright?"

"Why?" I say, turning to glare at him.

"What?" he says, and I'm a little shocked to see the hurt in his eyes as I wonder his intentions.

"Why do you care? What do you want?" I shout, hopefully far enough along the beach that it won't carry into the village.

"You know I care, Akoya," Aonung says, so softly I could almost imagine it.

Eywa, I hate when he does this, giving me the sweet, nervous look that makes everything melt and makes me not want to hate him anymore. But I do, because everything is too confusing and hatred is the only way I know how to cope.

"But why?" I ask desperately as he moves closer, trying to get me to look at him.

"Because it's you Akoya," he says.

What does that mean? 

And maybe he understands my confusion, because he keeps talking.

"Because I can't stand when you cry and I hated seeing you like that. But it was okay because it was just me. I told you, Akoya, you can't disappoint me."

His hands find mine, and I realise that as he was talking, they had relaxed out of their little fists and intertwined with his much larger ones. 

"I hate that you saw me cry," I whisper, staring down at our interlaced fingers. "No one ever does."

"I hated that you were crying," he whispers back, and I feel his eyes roaming all over me from his considerate height. Has he gotten ever taller? What is that sound?

There is a faint thrumming all around us, a familiar sound, and I gasp.

"Norm!"

"Uh, what?" Aonung asks, cocking a brow at my exclamation, but I pull away and grin up at the sky.

"What is that?" Aonung asks, staring at the helicopter. 

Dad is running towards it, where he guides it to land on the landing strip. Norm hops out as Aonung and I sprint towards it, when I recognise the other figure moving out of the helicopter.

"Khalo?"

Sure enough, he turns, my... friend from the forest. His smile is so familiar as it stretches across his face at the sight of me. I let out a squeal of joy and leap onto him, and he hugs me back just as fiercely as I wrap my arms and legs around him.

━━━━⊱AONUNG POV⊰━━━━

Something spills, all hot and blazing and scorching inside me as I watch Akoya light up with joy at the sight of the other guy. I study him.

He looks our age, only a few centimetres shorter than me. He isn't quite as thin as the Sully's, more muscular and solidly built, and I guess he's a warrior like Akoya and Neteyam. 

Then Akoya leaps to hug him, and it all explodes inside me.

The sight of her legs wrapping around him as she buries her face in his neck and laughs is sickening to me, and I can't bear another moment of this blazing feeling.

But I know it's jealousy, and it is impossible to overcome as the skxawng's arms encircle her waist and she whispers something unintelligible into his ear.

"Hey," Neteyam barks at his sister, and I feel some sick victory as they finally break apart. 

Neteyam moves over to do some sort of handshake with the guy like Jake did.

"Hey bro," Neteyam says.

"What are you doing here?" Akoya says, still smiling broadly. 

Why is she smiling? How come she smiles so much for him?

"I've been helping Norm and the other scientists lately, and I thought I'd help-"

"And you are?" I ask, glaring slightly at the guy as he turns to me.

"This is Khalo," Akoya says, flicking me with her tail as an indication to be nicer.

"Hey!" Jake barks at us, his expression fierce. "Help take some of this stuff up to the village!"

We move off, carrying the weird machines and gadgets that Norm and Khalo had brought with them. I help Akoya, taking a heavy machine out of her hands and walking beside her before Khalo can.

"Is that your boyfriend?" I ask, definitely not sullenly.

"No," she says, laughing and shaking her head. I study her for tells of lying, but I don't see any. "Why would you think that?"

"Because that's what Kiri said, the day of the party," I say, relieved as the memory comes suddenly flashing back to me. 

"When?" Akoya asks, cocking her head.

"Don't you remember?" I say, nudging her. "Kiri said 'you are such a maneater' and you said 'no I'm not'-"

"I don't sound like that!" Akoya snaps indignantly as I change my deep voice in imitation of her. 

"Anyway, Kiri said you were dating and you went hunting and sparring and cooking-"

"Oh shut up you skxawng," Akoya says, rolling her eyes. "I think you're just jealous."

"Jealous?"

"Yes, jealous," she smirks.

Eywa, how does she always manage to do this. To point out every exact emotion I feel and say it with such knowing, smirking grace that it makes me feel all nervous and blushy and not at all like how an Olo'Eyktan should feel.

"So what if I am?" I ask, and I can see that my change in direction takes her by surprise. 

She wasn't expecting this at all, but before she can say anything else, we reach the hut, and the somber, nervously expectant air around it instantly kills any conversation or any hopeful hint of flirting I might have accidentally let into my mind.

Eywa, when did I become so reliant on her?

I don't enter the hut with Akoya, Neteyam and Khalo. I wait outside with Rotxo, both intruders on the family grieving waiting. Nothing happens for a while, when I hear Akoya shout.

"It's not doing anything. Do something! HELP HER!"

"Akoya calm down," Jake is saying, and Neytiri is trying to pull her away from Kiri.

Without thinking, I run straight into the hut to her. She's kneeling beside Kiri, glaring around at everyone in the hut.

"HELP HER. Norm, do something."

"Akoya," I say, reaching for her, but not touching.

My heart aches for her as she stares blankly down at Kiri, and I crouch beside her. She turns slowly to me.

"She's not waking up," Akoya whispers, leaning in.

Without thinking, I wrap my arms around her, but surprisingly, she doesn't pull away or hiss at me. Instead, she buries her face in my neck and exhales shakily.

"I don't know what to do Aonung.

"Get my mother," I call to Rotxo outside. "She is Tsahik."

Mom takes her sweet time making it to our hut, and Akoya is verging on a nervous breakdown by the time she enters the hut. I see Ronal survey everything, and she speaks.

"I see that I am not needed here," she says, turning to leave.

"Please," Akoya says.

I think for a moment that my mom won't listen. Akoya isn't anyone to her, but maybe my mom knows what she is to me.

I see her eyes flick to Akoya and I on the floor, her tented comfortingly in my arms, our tails intertwined, even though I never remember how they got that way.

"Remove these things," Ronal says, gesturing to the weird machinery all over Kiri.

"Wait, I haven't finished taking her pulse," Norm protests, but Akoya opens her mouth.

"Out, you have done nothing!" she roars, and they all jump and scurry out.

"I should go too," I whisper, pulling away from Akoya.

I think for a moment that she'll protest, that she'll want me with her, or maybe I let myself be hopeful, but she nods and releases me.

I wait outside again. I can sense Rotxo's knowing smile from the way I had comforted Akoya.

"What bro," I say, when his smile still lingers.

"You really like her, don't you," Rotxo says, grinning at me.

"Why wouldn't I?" I ask, smiling stupidly, which I try my best to squash. Unsuccessfully.

"She's not like the other girls you've been with," Rotxo says. "I think she likes you back."

"Really?" I ask, and I can't help grinning like a little child. Why am I such an idiot when it comes to Akoya?

"Yeah," Rotxo says. "She always liked you, but she hid it a lot better than you did."

"Hey," I protest. "I hid it just fine."

"No, but she was just clueless. The rest of us knew, we aren't stupid."

"She is a bit clueless," I say, shrugging. "She doesn't know. I don't know why, but I just can't tell her. She won't listen to any hints, and she's just so incredibly stubborn."

"Exactly," Roxto says, smiling again. "You're perfect for each other."

I can hear cries of joy from inside the hut, and I recognise the small tinkling laugh of Akoya. It strikes the strange fluttery feeling in my gut when I hear it, and my own heart starts pounding fast.

Rotxo nudges me, and from the expression on his face, I know what he's about to say is important.

"You have to tell her bro, especially with that new guy back, Khalo or whatever his name is."

"You think she might like him?" I ask, scowling.

"I'm not saying he's a threat, but if you can show Akoya how you feel, the sooner the better. Trust me bro."

"Alright," I say, smiling. "What's your plan?"

"Tiwaìn is having a bonfire tonight. Invite her."

As I listen to Rotxo ramble on, my thoughts simply wander, yet stay stubbornly fixed on Akoya.

On the way her body curves and hair falls and face scrunches and crinkles all cutely and adorably and gorgeously when she laughs. On the way she buries her face in me, and how her breath felt against my neck and hands on my arm as she let me comfort her.

It's humiliating and strange and intoxicating, the way all I want is her. I just want to be near her and breathe her and touch her, and I would give anything, even my future clan position just to hold her like that again.

━━━━⊱A/N⊰━━━━

Okay hope u enjoyed my tumblr pookies and I'm so sorry that its taking me so long to write, I WILL get everything to you soon I've just been overrun lately <3

#aonung #avatar #avatar the way of water #aonung fanfiction #aonung fic #avatar fanfiction #avatar fandom #avatar oc

[socheckitout-mikey]

heeey! i miss erica sm )': she deserved sm better! here's some hc's for her bc there's not enough out there for her! it's a long one, just warning ya. <3333 - mae

✧･���: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Dating Erica Reyes Hc's:

° You were never deterred by pre-bite Erica, often finding yourself admiring her from a distance or even being one of the few people who showed kindness to her. However, neither of you really had the courage to ask the other out. You didn't register that you liked one another.

° You were always so mindful of her seizures, never poking fun at her for the things she could not help or blatantly bullying her. Your kindness was like a beacon of warm light amongst the callous hatred cast upon her from others because she was different. This caused her heart to flutter whenever you'd go out of your way to say, "hello" or when you'd be paired together for a class project.

° However, Erica was always frightened that your kindness was just garnering upon sympathy for her. It left her confused since she never had the confidence to ask you about your intentions.

° The bite gave Erica the courage to ask you out, which you pleasantly agreed to. You couldn't get over how much she was beaming, finding it to be the sweetest thing you'd ever seen. It was like you'd seen the sun cast upon a gorgeous beach for the first time.

° She rode that high train of joy for quite some time, despite Derek Hale attempting to squash it, because he was certain he had someone "better" suited for her. He almost convinced her, but didn't quite succeed in splitting you both apart.

° Erica's sudden makeover and confidence boost was somewhat startling. You weren't a stranger to her frequent mood shifts, especially when they were directed towards Scott and Co. You had enough courage to point it out, sometimes receiving a brief quip back of, "You don't understand what you're talking about so just stay out of it!" 

° She meant well as she just wanted to protect you from her other life. Erica was also consumed with a humongous fear of you rejecting her once you discovered her werewolf secret. She was a monster, golden glowing eyes and claws to match. Anyone with a right mind would go sprinting in the opposite direction for dear life.

° Yet you were sweet and patient with her, fretting about her landing herself in the ER once again like the previous gym class where Scott saved her. Sure it irritated her at first, but she gathered your face in her hands and planted a sweet kiss on your lips.

° "You don't have to worry about that anymore, y/n. You trust me right?" She'd asked in that honey sweet tone, a tilt to her pretty head.

° It wasn't long until you discovered her werewolf secret, much to Derek Hale's dismay. However, no matter how valiantly and pettily he'd try to pull you both apart, he couldn't thwart this genuine connection.

° Everything came to a head-to-head when you'd attended detention in the library with Erica, Scott and everyone else. When the Kanima appeared, Erica didn't think twice about protecting you. She was new to this all, afraid herself as she held onto your hand kurtly. She was skittish, shielding you with her body just in time as Jackson came and pricked her with his claws.

° You came crashing down with her, her body lying on top of your back, pressing you into the gritty carpeted floors. The pressure was enough to make it hard to breathe and as she gasped over top of you she whispered in your ear, "Don't move. You'll draw too much attention and get hurt. You're gonna be okay."

° Her selfless nature came out and you were one of the few to really witness it firsthand. It often boggled people who just assumed she was some callous bitch. Erica was more than that, and you were happy to be one of the people to prove that silly notion wrong.

° Afterwards it did take some time getting used to, but you never considered her to be a monster. In fact, you embraced her lycan-self and supported this new side to her as it meant she was relieved of pain, discomfort and gave her a newfound confidence she needed. This not only astonished her, but also Derek, who garnered some respect towards you when you weren't as squirmish as he originally thought you would be.

° "I can protect you." Is something she'd be guilty of saying, despite how cliche it was. Erica also knew that you'd protect her just as much, despite finding it slightly silly.

° But you were needed, especially when things got out of hand with the Argents. Nerves would be struck and you kept Erica sane, almost like you were her anchor.

° "Home is where the heart is right?" 

° "Babe, that's really cheesy."

° Honestly, you guys go on very fun dates. Erica has the versatility of being both introverted and extroverted: She's game for quieter and more intimate endeavours, as well as spontaneous and adventurous ones!

° PDA galore! Erica has the tendency to become possessive and jealous easily, but she can be coy with it. Competition is like mice to her. She's the cat and as she puts it, "I don't mind playing with my food". Public displays of affection help put across to others that you're both taken. She just likes to show off a little, but is respectful enough, backing off if you're uncomfortable. Honestly, she just likes physical touch as it's one of her love languages with you.

° You've got to put up with a lot of mischief and playfulness. Erica enjoys pulling pranks and will rope you in on the ones directed at her packmates. She's always got this puppy dog look when she gets caught in the act, especially by you.

° "Don't give me that look, E!" 

° "What look?" 

° "You know what look I'm talking about. Stop it!"

° "I dunno… Maybe you should have a peek to see if it's the same look."

° She sneaks through your bedroom window regardless of what gender you are. Rebellion is her middle name and it's sweet because it's usually because she wants to cuddle.

° "You've got your own bed, babe." You reminded her.

° "Yeah, but it didn't have you in it." She pouted pettily.

° She tends to also bring snacks and falls asleep first, curled into your embrace. She's a sucker for back strokes and her unruly blond mane being played with, which you love catering to until your arms go dead.

° "My arms dead, babe-" 

° "That's just an excuse! Just give it a minute and you can keep going."

° She does return the favour though!

° You're a very patient, kind person that soothes Erica's bursts of anger and impatience. You remind her that controlling things isn't everything, helping her to work through difficult emotions that she struggles to cope with. This stems from anger towards bullies, past mistreatment, etc. You're not a therapist, but your ability to see beyond yourself rubs off on her.

° Derek even becomes mesmerised over time when he sees Erica respond in a less bitchy way to people. Even Stiles makes many comments on it.

° "Okay, can everyone agree that y/n is a miracle sent to earth? I think this is a confirmation that God might actually exist." Stiles was practically gawking, freaking out actually.

° "Well, since you're having your religious awakening, are you wetting the bed yet? We've literally got the Argents on our asses." Derek snarled.

° "Honestly, I don't think I was that bad-" Erica murmured innocently.

° "That bad…" Alison snorted.

° "What was that Snow White and the Seventh of a Brain cell?"

° Let's not forget how supportive Erica is of you, especially if you've got a hobby or play any sports. She really goes all out in supporting you, whether it's cheering you on with her packmates or helping you study for a big test coming up.

° You get on very well with Boyd and Isaac. The pair see you as a sibling, which makes things easier. Isaac tended to be more distrusting of you at the beginning, but now he's awkwardly annoying with his strange banter that you surprisingly enjoy. He likes to annoy Erica and make a show out of her slight embarrassment until she's got him in an ironclad headlock.

° "Can't breathe-" Isaac wheezed

° "That wasn't an apology I heard there-" Erica grunted, tightening her headlock.

° Derek walked through with a black coffee, half smiling like "You shouldn't have said she smells people’s shoes like a dog." He stated, bemused.

° They're just siblings!

° Boyd's her best friend, so the importance of you guys getting along is key. Although he may look intimidating and ooze a certain temper at times, Boyd is quiet, calm and observant. He's figuring you out before you can figure him out. He's also very protective of Erica. Boyd truly likes you and you both get on very well, and it's nice to have someone around that doesn't announce he has explosive diarrhoea to the school nurse when he's helping save his friends.

° It's always a lovely time when Boyd can find a way to tease Isaac back for said embarrassing banter.

° For a human, Derek grows fonder of you the more time you spend around him. It particularly helps when he is no longer the alpha: His authenticity shines and he really enjoys your presence in the pack. Everyone else also likes you too since you even Erica out and bring her best qualities to the surface. 

° Your feelings came out for her much firmer for her when she was taken by the Alpha Pack. Tensions between you and Derek were at an all high when he refused to let you help him. Your begging to be turned into a werewolf fell on deaf ears until he finally aired out the truth: That turning you would be an endangerment to not only yourself but everyone else, especially Erica. He took responsibility for two of his betas being taken, but wouldn't take responsibility for you getting hurt. Guilt tripping you into staying on the sidelines.

° You went an uncanny route to save Erica by pairing yourself up with Alison once she became less rouge. Trusting not to believe the fact that Isaac had seen her dead body, you went with Alison, stuck in the closet only to find another dead body belonging to another unsuspecting victim.

° Erica was alive, but not well as she fled the vault with Cora and Boyd into the night with a full moon. But like the other’s, she survived and made a speedy, full recovery. But no one was out of hot water, as taking down the Alpha Pack and fighting the Darach was notoriously difficult; and at one point each member of both packs almost met their demise.

° However, eventually everyone made it out alive. The Alpha’s were put to rest: Well, not so figuratively when it came to Deucalion and the twins. But things began to settle down until a new threat arrived in Beacon Hills, however that didn’t arrive for quite some time.

° Dating Erica had proven to be a tough spell, and certainly not the fairytale ending you both had imagined. Although there were certainly tests and trivials, your young love blossomed and thrived - even when it was tested by the gruesome violence that ran prosperously in Beacon Hills.

° Each twist and turn lead down a different path: Explosive fights thwarted by gentle embraces and sweet nothings uttered. Erica found her home within you: A stark reality consuming her after she’d been kidnapped. Beacon Hills wasn’t the safe place to be for herself, you or her growing pack. She altered with the shifts, really growing into her own person that the other’s grew fond of, because they could see her candid qualities.

° Hell, when Allison died, Erica was deeply moved by this. The pair had grown fond of each other as they quarrelled in the past. Instead of wallowing in her own self-pity, she turned to everyone in the pack to check if they were okay: It stunned many members, but they came to realise that Erica just didn’t know how else to show that she cared. The ones of utmost importance to her though were Scott, Chris and Isaac.

° Dating Erica is a whirlwind at times as she fights for control, yet to gain distance. She needs someone patient, understanding and as bright as she does. A grounding stone for when she struggles with shifting and whatnot. Someone that can keep up with her spontaneity and grow alongside her. Erica becomes someone much different from the shy teenage girl with the seizures, but comes out into her own! She’s akin to a startlingly beautiful butterfly - constantly in metamorphosis as she shifts and changes through the many things that occur to her in Beacon Hills.

° She’s also noted for being like a feline, slinking across the terrain for her next prey. She is independent, mischievous, yet an affectionate partner. You would often find her lounging with her head in your lap, demanding you pamper her with your affections. Erica is loyal and deserves that loyalty back after everything she has been through. You fit together like two peas in a pod, an air of easy banter and deep fondness perpetuating from you both to the point others either grow sickly of it or they can’t help themselves from murmuring a soft, “awe!” in response.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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#ericareyes #erica reyes #erica reyes imagines #erica reyes headcanons #erica reyes x reader #teen wolf #teen wolf imagines #teen wolf headcanons #teen wolf x reader #teen wolf erica reyes #teen wolf erica reyes imagines #teen wolf erica reyes heacanons #teen wolf erica reyes x reader #hope you enjoyed reading!

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 2x04 recap

Well, I definitely didn’t lie when I said this one was going to be long. Help.

(To anyone who actually makes it through this entire thing, I salute you. I swear I’m going to try to tone it down next week haha).

Ok I’m gonna try and be relatively short and to the point (heh, good f*ckin luck) about all the non-Armony stuff, because oh boy do I have a lot to say about those scenes. Lord.

I would have paid to see Thony and Fi manage to get Mr Motel Moustache (MMM) into that laundry thing lol. Maybe they tipped it on its side and kind of just shoved him in??

Well at least the show is actually continuing to demonstrate Chris experiencing the effects of trauma rather than just brushing it off the way so many shows do, so that’s something?

Lol no Maya, Garrett and Thony are not sleeping together (never ever gonna happen lol, hallelujah), but she is romantically entangled with a mob boss, so you guys do have that in common haha. But oh ok so it was Robert (or one of his lackeys) who hurt Maya?? Also if they have eyes on her 'at all times' how the hell did she manage to come to a FBI agent’s house in broad daylight?

Sigh. Fi. Thony didn’t answer her phone because she was being blackmailed by Garrett, and had to do what he wanted to protect you… though lbr Thony just needs to start telling Fi everything, bc it would solve a lot of problems. Also I’m so stoked that MMM is alive after all, since dealing with a live threat is so much more interesting than dealing with disposing of a body lol 

I honestly wonder how many people Arman has killed. The ones we’ve seen– Jimmy in 1x03, the bald guy in 1x07, and Hayak– were all situations where he didn’t really have a choice; Jimmy stole from Hayak, so killing him was the expected action (plus, it indirectly protected Thony by satisfying Hayak of her loyalty). Then the bald guy was to save his own life, considering he’d have been dead if Hayak found out about him selling the guns, and killing Hayak was obviously self defense. I think those killings he could make peace with (well… maybe not Hayak so much; I desperately want him to break down to Thony about that one at some point, though I doubt the show will give that to us). But anyhow, he’s never going to be able to be okay with taking a life for Robert. Especially not the life of one of Robert's debtors, someone whose situation is not so different from his own, now. 

Oooh Nadia is pushing for the street drugs– is my prediction gonna come true?? I love that last ep, Arman was telling Thony that they needed to consider Nadia’s idea of selling more lucrative drugs, but now he’s defending Thony’s refusal to Nadia and telling Nadia that they’re not drug dealers. Sounds like someone took Thony’s words to heart… also omg writers please stop dropping hints about Sin Cara killing Bosco!! Don’t you know he’s my boy???

Nadia is all pleased by Arman’s jealousy towards Robert– but is that really what it is? Like okay sure maybe a little (it would be weird to have to deal with your wife’s first love) but I wonder if Arman’s disgust is more about the way Robert looks at her like a prize he wants to win; like an object, which firstly Arman hates because she’s so much more than that, but also because it reminds him that both of them are just objects in Robert’s eyes; not people who came from nothing and made something of themselves, but just playthings for his amusement. I do appreciate that she has a similar reaction to his suggestion that he collect debts for Robert– reminding him he’s more than that, more than just a tool to be used. And lol gotta love Arman’s very half-hearted response to her hug haha, like yesss if I’m gonna have to see physical affection between these two, I want it to be as reluctant as possible on his part lol.

(Btw Arman must have gotten some excellent quality bruise cream bc his swelling and bruising has settled down a hell of a lot in the last like 12 hours lol)

Damn Thony that’s some good tying– “The harder you pull, the tighter they get”?? Where did you learn that one, huh?? Also love that she thought ahead enough to bring a sedative haha– like what other interesting things are in that big bag?? Clearly not rope tho lol

Oh Chris. Poor sad boy. Much trauma. That mirror shot was cool tho

Lol Fi bouncing around like a ping pong ball while Thony just stands there. At least Thony has seen the truth of it– the video is not the real problem here, the problem is the guy who can use what he knows against them– and she has already seen what the end result will have to be. And of course she knows exactly who can help save them from this problem. Also excuse me “He’s not family”– um correction, Fi, he’s not family yet. But give him and Thony a little more time and soon you’ll be calling him your sort-of-brother-in-law lol

I am surprised to admit this, but I kind of enjoy the dynamic between Garrett and new agent guy? Garrett is like a puppy who desperately wants to come play with the other agent dog and his toys lol, it’s almost (almost) endearing. And agent guy has a great voice. 

Oh god Thony. Could you maybe put some gloves on rather than just touching everything with your bare hands??? Also this searching is so inefficient lol, lbr it must be that she’s already decided deep down that she’s gonna call Arman and so she’s just doing this cursory effort at a search so she doesn’t feel like she lied to Fi haha. Also damn this is another good song, if anyone finds out what it is let me know! I’m still bummed that Savage from last ep isn’t on Spotify

Okay can I just point out that if there are outstanding debts that Arman could collect for Robert that he hadn’t ever expected to get back… then he’s a pretty forgiving loan shark?? Also I highly doubt he has a shortage of people on staff to go and make those collections for him… but I guess the whole appeal of the deal is that he gets to feel like he owns Arman (aka the man that Nadia chose) specifically, and is able to make him do his bidding. I have to say I am starting to get Robert’s casting a little more; they needed someone older than Arman and with a bit of gravitas, because no way would Arman be able to deal with taking orders from someone younger and less polished. And Naveen is doing a good job of making Robert a little more nuanced; there’s a surprising edge of vulnerability to him when he talks about Nadia, which actually seems sincere (and she certainly seems to take it as such)-- well, either that, or it’s some very impressive manipulation.  I love Arman literally turning away as he thinks through the offer, which is interesting symbolism as it leaves Nadia and Robert looking at each other behind his back.  He wants to protect her– he doesn’t want her to be subjected to being a plaything for Robert, like he already is– but he also sees the value in taking the offer (it could get them free of him so much faster) and he respects her ability to decide for herself.  But lol “You’re both mine” I think Robert’s over here planning to start a harem haha

You know I was literally wondering like a day before the ep aired who looks after Luca when the kids are at school and Thony and Fi are at work?? This woman seems lovely but there is NO reason for a character to be that pregnant unless they’re going to pop out a baby in like the IMMEDIATE future. Is Chris going to have to deliver this kid????? Also ugh Fi and Chris, these two are nailing these emotional scenes

Arman I am very much enjoying your costume change from suave businessman to hired-muscle-slash-runway-model lol. As much as I enjoy the suits, I vote the black tshirt/jeans/leather jacket combo stays forever. But omg the whole jockey thing? Like ngl I enjoyed it, but man it treaded close to the line of being a little too comedic/slapstick for this show’s vibe– thankfully it didn’t cross the line, but it was close. Maybe the point of choosing this kind of setting /character was to highlight how far Arman has been dragged down from his cool and untouchable mob boss persona of S1, that he is now subjected to the indignity of having to physically chase a debtor like a farmer trying to catch a chicken– not to mention getting his ass handed to him by a guy half his size. Been a long time since you’ve had to do this kind of grunt work, hey buddy?  

God, when he answers her call he doesn't even look at the screen, just hits the button and says her name– how the hell did he know it was her?? Does he have a special vibration alert for her specifically or???? (Most likely it was just to do with the editing of the shots, but I choose to believe that he does have different vibration tones– one for her,  one for Nadia, and then one for all other calls. That way he can know immediately if it’s a call he needs to take). But ugh are you kidding me with this?? The look on his face when she says she needs his help? Like his whole day just completely turned around lol. (Definitely makes me think back to Nadia calling him out– “You love the way she looks at you when you do these things for her. You’re her hero.”). Also he can probably tell instantly from her tone that she’s not distressed, which means he can skip being worried and instead just be pleased that he’s going to get to see her and help her out and make her happy ugh. Of course he probably immediately asked if everything was okay, and sigh I really wish we got to hear that conversation and see his reaction as she told him the whole story about Marco’s death, bc oh man the face journey would have been beautiful. Sigh, just another to add to my list of things to fic, I guess.

Ngl I want to know how these two managed to program keycards for this specific door, since it would have had to be done through the computer system, but I’ll just let that slide lol. Also Fi’s “I wish I knew how to get through to him”-- just let him talk to Arman!! Who better to support a young man who has been through something traumatic and is struggling with having done something terrible?? They can go do something manly together, like idk smash things or Arman can teach him to drive or something, and Chris can talk to someone who is super freakin cool and who Gets It, and also Arman can bond with his future nephew and score points with both Thony and Fi at the same time??? Win win for everybody??  

I love the way Thony tells Fi that she called Arman. She says it in a quick little burst, her body tense but expression determined, because even though she hates going against Fiona’s express wishes, she knows it was the right option– their only option. The whole situation is overwhelming, and Fi needs Thony’s strength and support to get her through it– but Thony can’t carry that kind of weight alone. She, in turn, needs Arman’s strength and support to get her through it. And honestly to her it would seem so clear cut; it’s not just that Arman has ~experience~ with this kind of thing (even though yes, that’s definitely part of it), but it’s also just that– aside from Fi of course– Arman has become her Person?? Some things are too big to be handled alone, and whenever that happens, Arman is the one she turns to, because she knows he will always be there for her, just like she knows she would do whatever she could to be there for him as well. Fi doesn’t get that yet; she sees Thony running off at all hours to do things for Arman, and thinks that it’s because he has power over her or that Thony feels she is indebted to him for helping Luca. She has this caricature in her head of him, this ruthless mobster type who has Thony firmly under his control (likely influenced by whatever shit Marco spouted about him), and so that’s why she reacts to seeing him the way that she does. Well, okay, she also reacts to the fact that he looks like a goddamn movie star, but a big part of her response is the fact that she was expecting some cold-blooded criminal to stride in with his gun drawn and shoot their unarmed captive in the head/violently torture the password out of him before walking out again with some vague threat about how Thony will owe him big for this. (Just roll with me here; I maintain that this is legit and that Fi has as much of an imagination as I do lol). So that’s what she’s fearing when Arman turns up at the door, but instead she gets faced with this leather-jacketed Adonis who immediately looks her in the eye and introduces himself to her, then quietly and compassionately swears to her that he’s going to help her. Honestly her reaction was so perfect (ngl, I let out an embarrassingly high-pitched shriek of laughter at “call me whatever you want”, bc same, girl, same) and it was just so goddamn relatable omg???

In fact, I guess now is a good time for me to admit something… that I have actually personally been subjected to the fun game of ‘Surviving In The Presence Of Adan Canto’ irl. He was on the same flight to Albuquerque as my friend and I when we visited in July, and I ended up having to stand literally right in front of his seat for probably a solid minute waiting for other passengers in the aisle to store their bags and move out of the way (god, I am forever grateful to them for taking their sweet time haha). To be fair, he's maybe slightly less potent in a tshirt/jeans/ball cap combo than in the fancy Arman suits or the leather jacket, but still, holy shit. My friend said that when I turned around to stare at her after first spotting him, it was the most genuinely alarmed she's seen me look in 11 years of friendship lol– thank god that having a mask on gave me a chance to control my face pretty quickly haha! Sadly our seats were at the totally opposite end of the plane to his though, so by the time we disembarked, he was long gone. Not that I would have approached him anyway of course (it was like 11pm, dude was probably just wanting to get home asap) but ngl another glimpse would have been more than welcome haha. (Oh and @enigmaticfox can absolutely attest to the truth of all of this, since I literally immediately paid for in-flight wifi just to be able to scream at her over whatsapp lol.)  

But anyway, the point of all that was to say: Fiona, I get you, girl.

Okay back to the motel room. I freakin love Arman’s surprised little smile at Fi’s response to him; I’m sure he’s had many people have all kinds of ~reactions~ to his hotness, but Fiona is different– because aside from Luca, she’s the most important person in Thony’s life, and boy is he desperate for her approval. Like ugh that pleased little face practically shouts "yes! I'm gonna get a good grade in Impressing My Future Sister In Law, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve!" (...actually, I guess it kind of is? lol). And then ughhhh in addition to the Arman Hotness™ he turns on the full powers of the Arman Compassion™ all while standing  right there at Thony’s side like it’s where he belongs. And THEN it gets worse????? He goes to check out what he’s going to be dealing with, and lord I can absolutely picture him seeing the guy’s bound hands and literally stopping in his tracks, eyebrows shooting sky high. I am honestly grateful there was no one to witness the look on my face when he stepped back out of the bathroom and asked her in that I’m trying so hard to be cool and casual about this right now tone whether she was the one that tied him up, and she clearly can’t quite figure why he’s asking– did she not do it right? Did he disapprove for some reason?-- and then when she confirms it (with just the tiniest hint of defensiveness) he immediately morphs from that wide-eyed blushing emoji to the fucking smiling devil emoji omg. “I see you’ve learned a few things” EXCUSE ME MR MORALES WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO DO THAT WITH YOUR FACE AND YOUR VOICE AND YOUR EVERYTHING??? I would personally like to sue this scene for emotional damages because I am absolutely a victim here lol. I think Fi might feel the same, based on the way she looks at Thony; I honestly can’t decide if it’s more “What the hell kind of criminal shit have you been getting up to with this guy??” or “What the hell kind of kinky shit have you been getting up to with this guy??”  (Maybe both?? Let’s go with both haha.) And lollllll forever at Thony just closing her eyes– what a super awkward time to be suddenly very turned on, hey Thony??????

Phew okay honestly I almost appreciate the scene switch to Nadia and Robert purely for some recovery time haha. I like that Nadia isn’t so much ‘working’ for Robert as just getting to do something she enjoys– which is the act of influencing people (especially men) into doing what she wants them to do. It’s a fascinating character trait and I really enjoy seeing the way she uses it on both Arman and Robert in slightly different ways. It’s also very interesting to consider the contrast between how she gets Arman to do what she wants vs how Thony does; Nadia is clever with her words and with her emotions, always knowing which buttons to push and in what order, partly due to her natural talent and partly due to knowing him so long. (Of course, he knows her, too, which means he knows that at any time he might be being deliberately manipulated).  Whereas Thony just comes to him with such earnest openness– there’s no manipulation or guile to her interactions with him (the one time she tried, in 1x05, it was under significant duress and she still couldn’t go through with it because she cared too much about what would happen to him ugh) and god, that must be so damn refreshing for him. Conversely, I think Robert actually loves being manipulated by Nadia. He’s so powerful and untouchable that no one dares to challenge him at all anymore, but Nadia is different; she’s known him since the start, and she’s not scared of him, so there is a kind of teasingly adversarial nature to their interactions that he clearly can’t get enough of.  

Arman, staring at the cord tightly binding the guy’s wrists: “don’t fantasize about it, don’t fantasize about it, don’t– shit too late” lolllll. Got a little bit of a thing for bondage, huh Arman?? Don’t worry, I’m sure Thony will be very willing to demonstrate her technique for you someday not too far from now.  (Seriously, this ep killed me with the sexual tension. It’s like the intensity of the situation made these two forget that they’re supposed to be keeping their distance, and I LOVE IT).  But anyhow I love that they both take the opportunity to have a little catch up while standing over an unconscious dude in a bathtub lol. Ugh Thony’s concern for him and his situation with Robert– firstly because of the debt hanging over him, but also bc thanks to Maya, she knows Robert is both a) into some criminal shit and b) likely to be a person of interest to the FBI, meaning Arman’s connection to him will put him at risk from the FBI again. Arman is all too willing to answer any questions she has, and ugh at that open body language and the way he moves a little closer to her while they talk; meanwhile she’s got her arms folded again, just like I mentioned in my last recap– given we know how much she trusts him and feels safe with him, crossing her arms isn’t a sign of discomfort, but having to hold herself back from connecting  with him physically the way she wants to.  And ok yes, she’s fishing for info rn, but I have no doubt she’s going to tell him her concerns about Robert very soon. Now’s just not quite the time for that conversation haha (like I said, unconscious guy right there). But oh man I held my breath when he mentioned her meeting Robert– I assume it was Robert himself that mentioned Thony at some point, because I think it’s unlikely Thony would have brought it up and we already know Nadia is sticking with the story that she did all the work getting Arman out of jail. It makes sense to me that Thony didn’t tell Arman about the stripping down part, especially right now (again, unconscious guy), and tbh I’m glad, bc while I so desperately want him to know, I want him to find out from Robert himself, because I want him to go completely feral and attack him over it haha. (yes, I also have a WIP about this lol, and I know @chartreuseblueandyellow has already posted a fic which I can’t wait to read once I’m done with mine!). 

Poor Nadia. She talked all tough in front of Robert but honestly she’s perceptive enough to know how precarious their position is, that at any time Robert could tire of the game he’s playing with them and demand what he’s owed. She’s over here being deliberately sexy and charming and pushing Robert’s buttons– aka, playing her part– and where’s Arman? Skipping out on the job that he asked to do so he could go be with Thony (again, points to him for not lying about it tho). Honestly Nadia has every right to be pissed with him, and I’m happy she is, because it will lead to her pushing Arman away– which, conveniently, will allow him to continue on his path towards Thony. (I have an Ask to answer about the Nadia/Arman/Robert situation so I won’t go into it here). But anyway ugh this phone call is amazing because it makes it clear to both Thony and Fi that Arman is choosing to be here helping her even though it is causing issues in his marriage. Thony is clearly contrite about it– she knows the difficult position that their connection puts him in, the way it divides his loyalties, but she still can’t keep herself from repeatedly reaching out to him– but ugh “it’s never a problem for you to call” (translation: please please call me more, I will take any excuse I can get to see you, I will always be there for you) and then that eye contact??? Rude. I’m sad the shot ends a bit abruptly because I wanted to see more of Fi being like HELLO I AM STILL HERE AND SO IS THE UNCONSCIOUS GUY CAN THE EYE LOVE-MAKING WAIT UNTIL THIS SHITSHOW IS OVER PLEASE– and then the two of them do some awkward throat clearing and be all like “uh right so the unconscious guy…” lol

Speaking of MMM, he’s still zonked,  and ugh I love the shot of the little trio standing over him. Absolutely fantastic choice to have Fi standing between Arman and Thony– firstly it shows she’s getting just a fraction more comfortable with him, and secondly it means we are blessed with her looking back and forth between them like she’s watching a very slow and emotionally charged tennis match lol. Forever crying about how he’s so matter of fact about it– “you two can go, i’ll take it from here”-- bc lbr from the moment he heard on the phone that the guy had been a witness to Thony being present at Marco’s death, he knew he was going to kill him. I’m glad though that Thony tells him no and tries to find another solution, because it shows him that she didn’t just blithely assume he would come kill for her, and also that she is trying to protect him too by finding some other way to neutralise the guy without Arman having to get blood on his hands. I love his little smile as he gently explains Crime 101 to them (all witnesses gotta go)-- and then ugh she calls him out on the very notable exception, and omg THE NERVE OF THIS BOY to look at her with so much fucking softness and say “that’s because you’re different’. He doesn’t say ‘that’ was different, he says ‘YOU’RE’ different. Even from the start, he saw something in her, a similarity between them, a connection. He would never want to kill any innocent woman, but with her, taking her life would have felt like killing off something deep within himself, so instead he did the only thing he could do– he pulled her into his world, bringing her close, keeping her safe. So of course she’s different; she’s his, just like he is hers, each of them balancing out the other. Honestly this line was reminiscent of the ‘I’m in too deep now’ from 1x07 (but dialled up even further, ugh), and tbh I don’t know how Fiona was even able to stand being in that room with them right then lol, let alone literally in between them. Probably lucky she was, though, or they might have started making out right then and there, and the problem of MMM would never get solved lol

Uggghhh anyhow gotta move on. I love that Arman immediately relents when Thony insists on trying to scare MMM into silence first; he knows it won’t work, but he knows it’s important to her to try (and lbr, he’s already totally planning to come back and arrange an ‘accident’ for the guy later), so he helps her do what she needs to do. Not that he’s complaining; lbr he absolutely enjoyed showing off his sexy tough guy act for Thony, though not nearly as much as he enjoyed Thony’s quietly unhinged red market organ harvester act. The way his eyes go from her– from her calm expression, her cool and collected movements– to MMM’s face, seeing the fear that she is able to inspire with just her words, it’s clear that he is INTO this. You can even see him swallow hard at one point when she’s laying her hand over MMM’s liver, and honestly this scene is just Too Goddamn Much for me ugh. It’s not only the sexual tension (tho ngl I am getting some strong roleplay kink vibes here, y’all, particularly with a little light dom/sub flavour, lord help me) but it’s also the new level of understanding between them, the perfectly cohesive partnership, and what it means for both of them– for Thony, it’s knowing she can take charge and do something both risky and unfamiliar, and that she will be completely supported by him; for Arman, it’s seeing that Thony is not afraid to step deeper into the shadowy world he inhabits, that she can accept the darker side of him and all the terrible things he has done out of necessity, because she understands. I also love that their knees are just touching as she threatens MMM, a tiny physical reminder of that connection and support. The only shot I couldn’t quite figure out was Arman’s expression when she says that she’ll take the guy’s heart too, and that it sells for $1M– but I decided that it was him mentally being like ‘wait is that actually true???’ lol. Too bad you already gave your heart to Thony for free, huh Arman? :P  But ugh the way he looks up at her for her decision after the guy tells them where to find the file, and the smooth command in her voice as she tells him to stay there while she goes and checks it out-- like I said, the dom/sub vibes are REAL here kids (if you hear some kind of distant screeching/wailing sound, don’t worry, that’s just me not being able to deal with this in the slightest)

Ugh thank god, watching Fi be devastated by the video is actually easier to watch than any of that previous scene lol. I love Thony being savvy enough to wipe the drive, though I wish she’d been equally savvy in wearing some goddamn gloves so they didn’t now have to clean every inch of this room. But oooh the way Fiona is starting to see Thony more clearly now and realising that there is more to her connection to Arman than she’d previously assumed. I was worried when she said Thony was different with Arman; worried she meant it in a negative way, that she might judge what Thony had done, or act like her connection with Arman had tainted her somehow. But then instead she brought up Thony’s trust in him, and it was like ohhhhhhhhhh. Because in that bathroom Fi saw the side of Thony she used to see way back in her surgeon days– the decisiveness and the proficiency, the confidence and the self-assurance of someone feeling completely secure in the situation she was in. Of course, that side of her hadn’t completely disappeared in the time since she’d left work to have Luca, but it was rarer now, tempered by the constant strain she was under and the complete lack of support she received from anyone (other than the limited kind that Fi herself could provide). But with Arman, she is able to become that person again, because she knows she can trust him to be there, to support her in whatever way she needs. Fi knows it even before Thony confirms it (we’ve already heard her explicitly say that she trusts him, and have seen evidence of it countless times, but still, I died at the conviction in that ‘yes') and then ugh the “because he always shows up when I need him”. Honestly, the Backstreet Boys really captured it with “I don’t care who you are/ Where you’re from/ What you did/ As long as you love me” lol; Thony doesn’t care about Arman’s past, or that he sometimes has to do bad things– not only does she know the world is far more complicated than simply being split into Good and Bad (she’s even said as much, when detained with Garrett in 1x09), but Arman has also proven himself to her, proven that he’ll always be there when she needs him, that she matters to him in a way Marco never showed her. I often noticed the contrast between Marco and Arman in S1 in relation to Thony, how one of them would always only add to her burden while the other would always try to lighten it in any way he could. (Even in death, Marco added to that burden, but here Arman is, taking care of her yet again). But anyway ugh Thony swearing to Fi that she would do anything for their family but that sometimes that way is not going to be the way they want definitely ties back to Arman’s line in 1x01 about doing things ‘any way you can’.  And idk maybe it’s just me but “sometimes things just happen the way they happen” sure sounds a lot like “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall in love with a mob boss while still married to your brother, but here we are” lol. In which case, Fi’s acceptance with ‘Bahala Na’ could have a whole other level to it– whatever happens with Thony and Arman, happens… 

Well, those USBs were a lucky find lol. But ugh Arman’s concern when they come back into the room looking upset, and the freakin predatory glint he gets in his eyes when he says ‘he lied to us’ (idk why the us has me so affected lol, it’s the logical word choice, but damn if it doesn’t make me feel like he’s a member of the family now).  Poor Thony is so rattled tho– tbh she’d known right from the start that MMM was a problem that would need to be eliminated, and what that would likely mean, but then the apparent success of their little roleplay had really had her believing that silencing him could be achieved without bloodshed. But now she knows the truth, sees that Arman knew it all along. And I love that he knows she understands now, so he just lets her process and focuses on Fiona instead, all gentle and calm and reassuring with “You don’t have to. I promised to protect your family. I’ll take care of it.” Which, firstly, (*muffled screaming*) and secondly, according to Wiki, one of the meanings for Bahala Na– other than whatever happens, happens– is “I’ll take care of things”.  Which kinda seems slightly contradictory, but still, I love that through this other meaning, Arman is part of their Bahala Na pact with them. (Ngl I’m totally gonna adopt this concept in my own life, I love it.) Anyway I feel like the stunned look in her eyes is not just about the fact that MMM is going to have to die, but also that Arman is so prepared to do it for them. She still hasn’t clicked to the fact that Arman would do anything for Thony, which I guess is fair, considering this is the first time she’s even seen them together– but I think after this, the image she had in her head of the ruthless mob boss keeping Thony trapped in his grip is certainly going to be gone, replaced by that of a man with a complicated past who truly cares about (loves) her best friend. But anyway ugh the way Thony reached for Arman, holding on for that brief moment as she accepted what was about to happen– the touch both a request and an acknowledgement; she knows what needs to happen, and what will happen no matter what, but she still gives Fiona agency in that choice, just like Arman did for her earlier when he agreed to her plan. And the fact that she acknowledges that Chris is Fi’s son and so the decision is up to her shows that she is really listening to her and respecting her position in this situation, especially considering how Fi told her earlier in the ep that calling Arman wasn’t her decision to make. God this show is just freakin incredible with the nuance in its character interactions, I honestly can’t. (Also damn, Martha knocked this scene out of the fucking park, omg. What a queen.)

I also just cannot deal with Arman’s entire everything as he leans there against the counter (so goddamn rude, sir) or the small nod he gives Fi. But ugh then when Thony’s eyes lift to his, clearly pained, and he gently reassures her that it’s okay– he knows her hesitation is partly about the fact that she’s literally condemning a man to death, but lbr he also knows it’s more about the fact that he is going to have to be the one to carry that weight on his shoulders. He knows it, just like he knew in 2x02 that when she said she felt like she’d failed everyone, she wasn’t talking about Marco. And so when he says it’s okay, it’s not just ‘it’s okay, you had no choice, the guy had to die’, but ‘it’s okay. I choose to do this, and you don’t need to regret it, because I won’t.’ Ugggggghhhhhh. Honestly i cannot wait for their next scene together, because the way they look at each other after being even more deeply connected in this way is going to be A Lot. (And considering how intensely they already look at each other, I’m probably not going to survive this. Ah well, at least I'll die happy lol) 

Ok gotta say I’m definitely noticing a change in Garrett this season. I think it’s partly bc his dog-with-a-bone attitude isn’t being directed at Arman so much anymore, now that he’s caught up with getting Maya free of Cortez– he really does seem to care about Maya, and though he was blowing up thony’s phone with calls, he was begging for her to hand over the cloned phone rather than threatening her. I think he resorted to the threats last ep because he had to, but never had the intention of following through or continuing to make her work for him; it’s clear he has a soft spot for Thony and wants to help her when he can, and I liked that he actually showed genuine appreciation for her help, and that he agreed that it was a one-time thing– that she had done her part and he wouldn’t demand any more of her. At this stage it probably seems to him there's nothing else she could do anyway, though if he finds out she's connected to RK, that will almost certainly change… I also appreciated that when Fi called for Thony to help with the pregnant lady, he immediately checked if they needed extra help. And oh man I think I'm actually developing a weird grudging almost-fondness for him a little bit?? Like he's still an absolute jackass, but he's our jackass??  Tbh this must be how Russo feels lol

Wow Robert is clearly really enjoying having Nadia around haha. Can’t say I blame him, and tbh the ‘why are you asking me, I’m not your boss’ line was actually pretty good lol. (I feel like I need to add in a permanent disclaimer here: I still hate him and tbh hope he dies by the end of the season kill him Thony but his scenes with Nadia so far are not bad to watch). I can’t be bothered to say anything more about this scene– this is already so long, and I’m gonna talk more about these two in an Ask shortly– but basically I’m glad to see them getting closer, because it’s exactly what the season needs.

Ugh I have listened to this song (Mother, by Byland) so many times, and the vibes it gives about this show are so good. I liked the juxtaposition of Thony bringing a life into the world at the same time Arman was taking one out of it– it shows how they complement each other, how they fit together, ying-yang wise.  (Though dude it has to have been at least ten years since Thony delivered a baby, which is about the same as it has been for me, so damn I respect her doing that on her own without freaking out lol). Also I had a little giggle at Chris holding the baby– like oh ok sure, poor traumatised boy experiences the miracle of life and suddenly feels better. Congrats. I do hope the show won’t just have him be totally fine now– what he went through was huge and seeing the wrinkly little face of a fresh human is definitely not enough to erase that. But I guess we’ll see.

But anyway, I gotta say I respect MMM for just accepting his fate and not trying to yell or run. Sorry it had to be this way buddy, but you really did fuck up in threatening these two women specifically. Arman hesitating to shoot broke my heart a little; he really is a good man, and killing someone in self defense (eg Hayak, bald guy) is very different from an execution-style murder. I think it’s especially hard for him now because since knowing Thony, he has become more and more aware of that darker side of himself, and how much he hates it and wants to be better. But tonight at least, it’s that darkness that will keep Thony safe; left alive, this man will always be a threat to her, which is something Arman simply cannot allow. And it’s because of that– because of her– that he has the strength to pull the trigger. 

Okay jesus there we go. Almost 7k words later and I’m free of this episode haha. Like I said at the start (if any of you can even remember back that far) I am going to try and tone these down again from now on, but if y’all decide not to continue subjecting yourselves to these, I completely understand haha. But for any of you crazy masochists out there who want to continue– I’ll see you next week lol

#The Cleaning Lady #Armony #I have lost all control of my life.

[horce-divorce]

I was too tired to get worked up last night but now that Im awake again I am sooo fucking agitated rn. We HAVE to be at my parent's right now (car camping in the yard) bc I desperately need whatever help they can give me, my dad is getting the car checked and we've been here using the shower and the stove and whatnot. But my dad's bday was also this weekend so my WHOOOOOLE family was here, and Bel and I stayed inside specifically to avoid everyone, but then my fucking horrible grandpa (who was queerphobic and an asshole long before he had dementia) comes in and tries to make chit chat with us, and then my dad comes in laughing saying how grandpa went outside and announced to everyone that "there's two girls with mustaches in there," and dad just thought that was funny. And we had JUST come back from the store where some rando also fucking commented on Bel's mustache and I HAD a comeback but I was too fucking SLOW and I didn't fucking defend him

So anyway we like have absolutely no choice but to be here and Bel especially can't just leave and like it's weird bc yes they are letting us stay here, feeding us etc and I feel like I'm not allowed to explain why this is so hurtful bc if I do that's somehow going against all my dad is doing for me here. Like I'm being ungrateful spitting in his face and only focusing on what he's doing wrong.

Probably bc they spent my whole life reinforcing this idea that I only was allowed to need things if they agreed that I was lacking. When I became suicidal it wasn't "oh yeah you need help let's get you to a doctor." It was a litany of "here's all the things I did for you, I sacrificed my body for you, I ate healthy and quit smoking and I did everything right and I gave you a PERFECT body and brain, so no, you don't need help." And she stood by that until I was out of the house and went and got help myself, and she STILL tried to talk me out of it.

And especially with my mom being the terf-adjacent 2nd wave Michfest Feminist that she is, she only ever has shit to say about my gender when it's disparaging. The first time she saw me shirtless after top surgery she said "embrace the patriarchy" in this bitter fucking tone. She only ever calls me a guy if I'm acting so stupid that I need help or correction. But yeah it's so super funny and cute that my demented grandpa can't fucking tell I'm a guy and it's sooo funny and cute how he's disrespecting me and my boyfriend to my whole family and they're all just out there laughing. That's sooooo fucking funny and silly and ha ha and yeah people like my asshole grandpa, who was NEVER even part of my actual fucking life, is totally allowed to just walk into your home and talk about your loved ones like that, unchallenged, cus he's just such a silly little guy. Family is so fucking special am I right.

It's wild having the least normie and most functional family of all my friends bc when it comes to things like politics and gay rights and witchcraft and even topics like feminism and reproductive rights! my parents are always the most chill, understanding, easygoing, have the most reasonable responses out of anyone else's parents... But then they still have these very unchallenged ideals that come out at the worst time, and when i try to explain to them how they are hurting me and making me feel unsafe and making MY BOYFRIEND feel unsafe, and this is why I don't hang out with them, they pull the "dont make me feel bad when i do so much for you" card.

They also don't defend other trans ppl. They "love" Eddie Izzard, she is "their favorite comedian," but they can't gender her correctly to save their lives. One time my mom tried to show her cis gay friend one of Eddie's Dress to Kill bits and he started disparaging her outfit and calling her buffalo fucking bill and my mom just sat there and TOOK IT. I WAS HOME!!! I COULD HEAR HIM!!!!!!!!!

I also cannot threaten the help they're giving me w the car and the house bc my dad is currently still paying the insurance bc I can't even afford gas to go job hunting. So I did not sit my dad down and explain Why That Wasn't Funny. My stupid ass got up early and put the dishes away instead. Because if I criticize my dad, on his birthday, in his own home that we are staying at for free, AND Im leaving a mess (that I didn't make, but that I saw and walked away from regardless), they will kick us both out and never let us come back! Or maybe they won't! But they've kicked me out before and I can't let that happen to Bel again right now!!!

And unfortunately I need to stay connected to dementia grandpa too bc we may be living in his cabin part time this winter. I'm not super optimistic about finding housing before it gets cold. Especially not after yesterday. We were both already lamenting needing our names changed, but trying to do it while homeless and Looking Like Girls With Mustaches in Bumfuck Nowhere is gonna be even more fun!!!

#me #prsnl #my dad didnt used to say this to me directly #but when my parents got frustrated #they would Remind Me how my grandma on dads side used to threaten him with #'i brought you into this world i can take you out' #and it would be dangled over my head like see? i could talk to you this way. if i wanted. you're welcome.

[a-kaash-me-outside]

I agree with prev anon that reader was a bit frustrating because she said some out of pocket stuff (though it wasn’t intentional or said out of maliciousness) but Atsumu making an effort and trying for 3 weeks is the bare bareeeee minimum come on!!! 😭We gotta stop giving credit to men who do the bare minimum in terms of being a nice respectful person. Like if someone was into me I’d HOPE they would be nice and “try” while they were making an effort to date me???

Especially cause all it took was one comment for him to revoke it and throw it in her face. What does that say about him 😭 reader’s mess up was due to nerves and not stopping to think before she spoke, Atsumu’s mess up was due to him knowingly choosing to perform an action that he was aware would hurt her on some level since he knew she was into him as well. Their convo outside their rooms could’ve been solved with an honest follow up conversation, but he decided to revenge fuck a stranger and make her a witness to it so he could punish her for making a petty comment towards him.

What she said wasn’t even false either because he did have a track record of bringing home multiple girls every weekend lmao if he doesnt like people pointing out his past behaviour then I dunno maybe demonstrate that you don’t engage in that behaviour anymore?! Not go out and immediately prove y/n right!!

okay yes. no okay yes I UNDERSTAND i understand. and i'm not saying we like praise him for the effort that's he's putting into it and the change in patterns that he's exhibiting, but more like aw man no yea this is actually the longest change in pattern that he's displayed.

(omg look another read more because i have so much to say/try to explain) but also it'll all be explained better in the next chapter lmao lmao. i will probably stop long explaining a lot of these and just let you guys read the next chapter and either like it or not HAHAHHA.

i feel like no one is -IN ANY WAY- skipping over the fact that the bs he pulled was shitty and he is an asshole because like yea no ur 100% right he's an asshole.

i just think that the layers that i built into twrt are kinda a lot and complex because it's not just "oh reader is super super into atsumu so why doesn't atsumu just date her instead of having sex with other people" its much more like "reader is keeping atsumu at arms length while still engaging with and flirting and practically fucking him while they're drunk" like reader specifically is not trying to be in a relationship with him while still doing relationshipy things because she's terrified of the effect that it'll have on a lot of aspects in her life and the hesitancy that she's feeling is super evident and real frustrating for someone who has, many times, tried to breech this line of oh let's actually date.

NOW IS ALL OF THIS AN EXCUSE FOR THE WAY THAT ATSUMU ACTED? yea no of course not but i just mean that it doesn't boil down to oh yea no reader has done NOTHING BUT want to be with atsumu she literally wanted to fuck maki like,,,, a few weeks prior to this conversation. and it wasn't as vindictive or shitty as atsumu's because of cOURSE IT WASNT but we don't really get to see atsumu's side or feelings in any of this the entire time bc its from reader pov. so it's hard to like,, understand the other side of it.

and i will say the comment that she makes outside of his door serves less as a reminder of his past and more of sudden change in tendencies. i don't know if that distinction makes SENSE but it does in my mind hehe.

also when i came up with the idea for this fic, this is always the way that i wanted the conflict to go. which became a bit difficult as it moved from being a oneshot to a chaptered fic and all of the feelings that came along with it. this shit is much less ouch when yknow- you dont have as much background as you do in the chaptered versions but i hope that chapter7 gives some insight? some better like oh yea ok yea tori you explained that really well, nice.

#shut up tori #asks! #anon! #lmk if you want an ask tag! ~ #twrt convo!

[stilldancewithyou]

I’ve just spent a couple hours in your tsitp tag and wow I agree with so many of your takes! I haven’t really been keeping up with tags so I’m not sure if this is not discussed but the one thing that made me firmly dismiss jere in the show is the firework scene. not only bc it was selfish but bc it would’ve physically harmed belly and Conrad. Like if he’s so good and loves her so much why would he even risk that? To me that was so 🤢 what is your take on the scene?

okay I have a lot of thoughts on the firework scene. I don't think anyone has asked about it yet so I'm pretty sure I haven't really discussed it yet. I agree with you 100% and I hadn't even thought about what you said about it being dangerous- I was so stuck on him being incredibly selfish and inconsiderate. I don't know why Jeremiah, who supposedly loves her, would risk possibly seriously hurting Belly (or Conrad either for that matter).

I've seen people saying that Jeremiah wasn't selfish in that scene, that basically it wasn't that bad because he was hurt and jealous. And anyone saying that is so wrong! Yes, he's allowed to feel hurt, upset, and jealous. No one would fault him for that. He should have just walked away and been sad about it somewhere else alone or something. But the second he lit the firework, was when it became an issue. He chose to be immature and selfish and put people he loves in danger. And there's no excuse for that. Say what you will about Conrad, but he never put anyone in harm's away- he does everything he can to keep everyone safe.

So yeah, this was definitely a moment that didn't sit well with me. I was actually surprised at how much people defended him especially the fireworks thing. It was definitely something that turned me off him and I really did try to be neutral and love both brothers when I watched the show (I knew I was always going to be team Conrad, but I wanted to love Jeremiah too). I wanted to like him and be able to seriously consider him but I just couldn't. It made me mad that he would interrupt them, knowing that Belly has been waiting her whole life for that moment with Conrad; the fact that Jeremiah could see how happy they both were and still chose to light the firework instead of walking away. To do something so reckless and dangerous just because you're jealous is the definition of selfish. He wasn't thinking about Belly in that moment, he was only thinking of himself. And then you could tell he didn't even feel the least bit bad about it after the fact, even when he saw how happy Conrad was and how giddy Belly was (and he saw how happy they were and the way they looked at each other when Conrad stopped at the dance practice to see her). When he and Conrad were fighting over the coffee the next morning and Jeremiah made a remark about how Conrad looked happy and Conrad said "I'm happy to be alive after you almost killed me" and you could see how angry Jeremiah still was...I was like bro chill. The fact that he saw how happy they were and continued trying to ruin it just wasn't a good look for him. Considering how Belly reacted when the boys were trying to embarrass Cam and when they pulled up to the drive-in while she was out with Cam, I think it's safe to say she would have been really angry and upset with Jeremiah if she knew what he did. And then he acted like he was just this innocent little puppy dog for the whole rest of the show.

I appreciate the creative choice and cinematography of the scene and I know it was showcasing Jeremiah's jealousy and showing the game-changing turning point for Jere that made him decide to get serious about Belly and make a move. But it definitely confirmed my choice of Conrad.

The firework scene also is one of the ones that left me wondering with the most questions after the end of the season. I'm dying to know what Conrad and Belly know. Do they know Jere was out there shooting off fireworks? Do they know he shot the firework at them? Did Belly realize Jeremiah was out there? Was there a conversation between the brothers about the firework that night? It's confirmed that Conrad at least knows Jeremiah was out there lighting fireworks, so I feel like he knows Jeremiah interrupted them just from the vibes of the conversation about Conrad being happy and him saying he was happy to be alive, and Jere saying he already told him he didn't know they were out there. I hope there's a deleted scene of the convo between Conrad and Jeremiah about Jere almost hitting them with the firework. I can only imagine how funny it was.

#tsitp #the summer i turned pretty #tsitp spoilers #jeremiah fisher #belly x jeremiah #team jelly #team jeremiah #team conrad #conrad fisher #belly conklin #belly x conrad #ask #thank u anon!

[velathetanager]

concept: the necrocloaker finds out that hey, being able to turn off that one human's anti-supernatural touch ISN'T a normal thing to be able to do and starts doing it whenever dallas (along with the rest of the crew) is in his realm to show off, to the point that "make dallas stop freaking out or keep him doing stuff anyway" becomes a routine part of the halloween nightmare.

and i mean. the heisters know he won't remember any of the nightmare, so if they /really/ need him to be somewhere or do something he isnt right then, they can simply force him to with supernatural abilities) to get him going with them. especially if him not doing whatever it is (or not keeping up) will put him and/or the crew in immense danger. sure they normally wouldn't hurt him like this, but theyre used to his fear every time halloween rolls around, and it's better than letting him get himself killed bc he's too confused and scared to prioritise properly.

houston is against it bc who the fuck would wanna see their brother be hurt like that just bc he wont remember itand it's consodered important enough (and Boy if that doesnt hit a nasty spot for mr "had his memory wiped magically seven different times"), only to have to do so himself. oh you dont wanna see your brother look at you with fear again? how about we make him look at you with /complete terror/ bc you grabbed him with eldritch stuff to save his life? dallas gets pulled into safe range and immediately scrambles away from houston and houston's torn between anger at the rejection after /saving him/ and guilt at scaring his brother so much when he knows dallas has zero exposure to his abilities or even understanding that kay-via-houston wouldn't be trying to hurt him.

tldr: halloween nightmare, dallas getting his anti-supernatural taken away every time, houston has to scare the fuck out of his brother to save his life by grabbing him out of a hazard with Eldritch Powers or smth, and he feels bad bc dallas was visibly fucking terrified of him. one of these days ill send you an ask at a reasonable hour without rambling lmao

Oh yeah, that would crush Houston so bad. And he can't force the issue with the others because the only way to get them to listen would be to let Kay lash out, which is a bad idea because one, that would make Dallas MORE scared than he already is, two, none of the heisters know Kay exists and he wants it to stay that way for now, and three, he's seen Kay in a fight. And now he can see why people think what they do about void monsters.

It still puts him in a bad mood for a while after each heist. He'll always visit Dallas more frequently after the Necro Cloaker turns up, bring him stuff, and once or twice he'll even give his big brother a hug. And as for the rest of the heisters, he'll barely say a word to them for like two weeks. Wolf puppeteered Dallas for a bit during one nightmare and the way Houston looked at him during breakfast the next day made him genuinely afraid of a human for the first time.

Not helping matters is that Kay makes those feelings worse just by her presence. Eventually Houston is gonna want to leave or do something worse, and no one will have a good reason for him to stay with them.

#payday 2 #payday 2 au #payday 2 houston #payday 2 supernatural au #payday 2 wolf #payday 2 dallas #necro cloaker

[msookyspooky]

Omg, I just had a thought; Sev with a chaotic!vampire daughter\son figure?? (Think Claudia from Interview with a vampire except they're a teen lmao) like, maybe they had abusive parents and ran away and managed to either A. Get changed into a vampire or B. Get attacked THEN change into a vampire

They would play the innocent card to get people to let down their guard while the rest of the hooker gang would take their chance to attack 👀👀👀👀

I could ttly see it happening! He's probably one of the last ppl in the group that wants the responsibility of parenting, acts like a total hardass about it at first....And yet, the older kid-teen has him wrapped around their finger in no time. 😌

I just pictured the movie scene with TomCruise where Claudia fake cries to kill a woman who thinks she's an innocent girl and Lestat is smiling like an idiot in the shadows at how proud he is of her; 100% Severen behavior.

They would be a chip off the ol' block. He'd taint that kid into being a mini Severen and while everyone else is groaning in annoyance at that; he's thrilled! Getting them their own badge after killing a cop (And they'd probably want to bc Severen looks cool af what teen wouldn't gravitate towards him and want to be like him especially someone who looks up to him as a masc role model?) Get them their own revolver. Teach them new curse words. Try to get them to be as sadistic with kills as he is bc he clearly is apathetic towards humans after at least 125+ years of being alive so he figures why not have fun and play with your food a bit to keep vampire life interesting? He would protect his kid and teach them to protect themselvesself too. He would actually be an amazing Dad (Murder and stuff aside I guess) and probably a drastic change from wherever they came from. I can just see a teenager blowing something up and Severen grinning and yelling "THAT'S MY FUCKIN KID!!" while everyone is glaring at them bc NOW they just alerted every cop in the tri-state area of an explosion from them 😭☠️

And a daughter that's sadistic like Claudia? Oohhh mmyyyy gggoooddd. Let's use Claudia as a face claim bc if she showed up in a pretty dress with blood on her looking up at him like that and was like "Please don’t be mad at me🥺🥺🥺"

HE IS INTERNALLY AWWING EVEN IF HE REFUSES TO SHOW IT LIKE HIS CHEST HURTS AT HOW SOFT HE'D BE FOR HER. Tell me he wouldn't be like "I've known her for one day but if anyone hurts her I'm killin' every motherfucker in this room and then myself."

Like, she would absolutely have him wrapped around her finger, no questions asked. Bonus points if she calls him Dad or Papa after being with them for awhile; girl could have anything and he'd never say no.

Even if she's a complete rough ass tomboy; you bet she's pulling out the sweet innocent doe eyes just to get her way. After she does, he's like "...Wait a minute...Did you just con me???" Even tho he's proud af bc it's Severen of course he's glad his adopted kid is a survivor doing what it takes to win.

(Can you imagine the FUED that would happen if Homer had a crush on her and tried wooing her especially since he's technically a fucking old man mentally like he tried to do with Sarah? Severen would absolutely lose his shit for good reason. Like, feral and ready to have a shoot out with Homer and probably anyone siding with Homer on that. So here's to hoping she wants nothing to do with Homer and is like "Ew no." when she arrives. Now once she's much older mentally idk that's debatable especially since their both stuck as kids forever but I still think Sev would bristle at the idea of it bc Homer is not good enough for his babygirl or his pride in joy son or kid in general for that matter ☠️☠️☠️)

However, I could see just like Claudia and Homer; his kid being resentful of being stuck as a practical kid forever. If they're 16 and older maybe not but under that? Yeah, the bitterness of being in a 14 yr olds body forever or something like that would eventually take hold. And who knows if that would make them still like Severen or bitter towards him 10+ years from now. It probably depends on if he turned them or not.

And a they/them non binary kid would be treated most likely however they'd want to be treated 🤷🏼‍♀️ I just see Sev as respectful towards ppl he actually gives a shit about.

Honestly, no matter whether it's a daughter/son/affectionately named brat; he'd be a good chaotic Dad towards them ESPECIALLY if they were as unhinged as him. And he is definitely teaching them how to be ruthless regardless. No kid of Severen Van Sickle isn't walking around w/o a weapon or knowing how to get out of sticky situations.

[toxic-ship-tournament]

ROUND 2 / SIDE A / POLL 2

Esmerelda Poofenplotz x Alice Luoja (@cantdanceflynn) vs Res x Leo (@adanaac)

who makes up your ship?:

Esmeralda Poofenplotz(Canon Phineas and Ferb character(although I draw her differently from canon)) and Alice Luoja(Background character turned Phineas and Ferb oc)

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

THEY BASICALLY STARTED OUT AS TWO DUMBASS TOXIC AF TEENAGERS GOING TO EVIL SCIENCE HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER AND BEING THE TERRORS OF THE SCHOOL(POOFENPLOTZ BC SHES BIG ON BEAUTY AND WOULD BASICALLY DESTROY EVERYONE'S SELF ESTEEM AND ALICE BC. SHES WILLING TO KILL ANYONE WHO RLY FUCKS W HER), AND WHILE THEY ORIGINALLY HAD A RIVALRY IT GOT A LIL TOO HOMOEROTIC VERY QUICKLY AND THEY DON'T RLY KNOW HOW BUT THEY ENDED UP DATING. THEY ENDED UP, SURPRISE SURPRISE, RUINING EACH OTHER EVEN FURTHER THEN THE TWO OF THEM WERE ALREADY TRAUMATIZED!!!! A TYPICAL INTERACTION BETWEEN EM PRETTY MUCH WENT ALONG THE LINES OF POOFENPLOTZ POKING FUN AT SOMETHING ABOUT ALICES BODY OR PERSONALITY SHE KNEW WOULD TICK ALICE OFF("YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SAYING YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT, BUT THROWING UP YOUR LUNCH LATER COULDN'T HURT"), ALICE GETTING PISSED OFF AND PULLING A KNIFE ON HER("YOU KNOW, MAYBE THIS TIME I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR TONGUE, STOP THAT HORRIBLE NOISE YOU CALL A VOICE"), AND THEN SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN OR ONE OF THEM WOULD FUMBLE OR FLIRT AND THEY'D JUST GO BACK TO NORMAL BANTER AND TERRORIZING PEOPLE. THEY DID CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER, AND WHATEVER THEY WERE EXPERIENCING CERTAINLY FIT SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE STRANGE AND NEBULOUS RANGE OF ROMANTIC LOVE, LIKE THEY DEFINITELY LIKED EACH OTHER, THEY WERE JUST TOXIC AS SHIT AND HAVING THEIR BEHAVIORS EXPANDED UPON OR REINFORCED BY THEIR ENVIRONMENT. EVENTUALLY ALICES OBSESSION W GODHOOD AND HER IDEA OF PERFECTION (ONE THAT HAD ALWAYS BEEN THERE, EVEN IF POOFENPLOTZ MADE IT MORE PHYSICAL) ENDED UP DRIVING THE TWO APART, WITH HOW HORRIBLE ALICES DECLINE WAS, AND POOFENPLOTZ ENDED UP BASICALLY LEAVING AND IGNORING HER AS A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO SNAP HER OUT OF HER DECLINE BUT ONLY PULLED HER FURTHER IN. AS IT STANDS NOW IN THE PRESENT, THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS A COMPLICATED SPIRAL OF "POOFENPLOTZ ACTUALLY HEALED AND REALIZED HOW AWFUL SHE WAS BEING AND WHILE SHE STILL HAD A DEGREE IN EVIL SCIENCE SHE HAD TO USE SO SHE MIGHT AS WELL GET A JOB DOING THAT, SHES ALSO RLY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT EVERYTHING W THE CAST AND HELP THEM, ESPECIALLY MILLIE AND PINKY, WHILE ALSO DEALING W " WHOOPS YOUR EX IS BACK IN TOWN AND SHES NOW BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR MORE DEATHS THEN MOST FULL ON TERRORISM COMBINED, BUT SHE IS ALSO STILL KINDA HOT SO *NONCOMMITTAL HAND GESTURE*, YA KNOW?", MEANWHILE ALICE IS "OH RIGHT. SHE QUALIFIES FOR LOVEMUFFIN TOO. IM ALLOWED TO DENY ON HER ON TERMS OF HER BEING MY EX, RIGHT? BUT ALSO IM STILL GONNA INVITE HER TO OUR MEETINGS AND ALSO OFFER TO LET HER " LEAD" THE CULT IVE MADE THAT CONSISTS BASICALLY JUST OF MY VERY ABUSED OWN SON AND A VERY ABUSED TEENAGER WITH ME BC IF I CAN CHANGE HER MIND I CAN CHANGE ANYONES!"

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

Esmeralice, https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnP0Xop8gS5VdFNCP4Uetvq2pM5A9NZTe <- BAD PLAYLIST BY MY STANDARDS OF USUALLY A HUNDRED SONGS AT LEAST BUT ITLL DO FOR NOW

****

who makes up your ship?:

Res and Leo

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

Leo can’t remember anything that has happened to him before the age of twelve. All anyone knows is that he was in an accident that should have killed him, then he returned with an indestructible body and a void where his personality should be. He cannot comprehend good or evil, does not understand the concept known as ‘choice’, and cannot envision an existence where Res isn’t his Master. He imprinted onto Res the moment he met the other man and pushed himself into Res’ life without considering whether or not Res might want it. His first Master did not pass, he simply changed how he looked, and what he looks like now is Res. Period. He has nothing to offer, nothing to say, no emotions and no heart to give. All he knows are the facts, and the facts tell him that there is no Leo without Res. So he’ll make sure that there’s no Res without Leo. Res has always been very into science, but he isn’t too fond of how there are a bit too many restrictions on the experiments he can perform, and he’s even less fond of how they die whenever he tries some of his more ‘exciting’ stuff. Thankfully he has Leo, his little obedient puppy who will obey his every word and donate his body for research. Of course, he’s never asked him whether he was okay with that, but signing a consent form is so old school. He believes that we should be doers, not dreamers, and he’s always wanted to see what the insides of Leo’s body looked like. And all the resistance it’s putting up just makes it all the more exciting. Leo spells unending excitement, and that’s all the reason Res needs to make sure no one else has him. Res is life, but he is not Leo’s purpose for living, because Leo has not questioned whether or not life has a purpose. He doesn’t need to. Res is Leo’s Master, and Leo’s Master is the very concept of life itself. Without his Master, the earth does not spin, and the sun does not shine. Why would it be anything else? Leo is not a person, he is Res’ dream. The dream of a creature that would do nothing but obey his every word, and the dream of an anomaly that he could endlessly explore without an expiration date. A thing that Res will never get bored of. To Res, Leo is just an adorable lab rat who happens to be the only one in the world who can fulfill his dreams. He does not care for Leo, the person, because Leo is not a person, but he does care about Leo, the humanoid playground that belongs to Res, and Res alone. This is love, because love is when someone makes your heart race, and love is when someone makes you feel like you’re free-falling into obsession. Res loves him, loves him, loves him loves him loves himloveshim. Just as we don’t get emotionally attached to the oxygen that keeps our heart beating, Leo does not get emotionally attached to Res, and he doesn’t need to. This isn’t love, it’s something more than that. Love can change, fade and evolve- it’s fickle, fleeting and easily manipulated. What Leo and Res have is a constant. Res belongs with Leo, and Leo belongs with Res. Don’t argue with the facts. Because you’re wrong, and Leo will make sure you know you’re wrong, no matter who you are. It’s a good thing they’re with each other, and no one else. (Leo is Uno's oc, Res is Canada's oc. Above description written by Uno. Canada's description below) They're basically like those AITA stories where both are the asshole and its a good thing they're together and making each other worse. btw Res is the short pink one and Leo is the tall one.

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

#alice x esmerelda #res x leo #cantdanceflynn #adanaac #toxic ship tournament

[bisluthq]

I’ve sent a couple asks recently but I used to be a Manson fan so I’m coming from the outside in on this and. So the album he recorded when he was with Wood sucked tbh and he was on the rebound bc him and Von Teese split so it was just whiny shit and then like “haha I’m with a hot new girl”. But he did have her in a music video and idk I hate how this is going to look for her bc of course she consented to the video but it’s pretty violent and they’re going to say she wanted that and then also “wanted” the abuse

He’s also said IN INTERVIEWS how he wanted to hurt women he’s been with and before I used to be like “oh well it’s just the character” and I fear that’s how people are gonna take it too. But like. Same thing with depp saying he wanted to kill Amber and rape her corpse. Like everyone just wants to say it’s perfectly normal to say this shit about people you’re supposed to love just because you’re mad at them? Like no it isn’t??? That’s sick. And like idk I think Manson is genuinely sick in the head like more so than depp. I genuinely think he thought he was like a god for the alternative crowd back in the 90s early 2000s and when he was fading in popularity he just got even more bitchy and continued playing the victim bc he wasn’t as popular as he used to be and he wasn’t making waves anymore. I always use trent Reznor as an example though because he just minded his own business and he made shocking music for the time too but it wasn’t just for the sake of trying to get a reaction. And now he’s out here composing film scores and getting sampled in lil nas x songs and producing with Halsey (!) and still touring and still being pretty successful for a 30 year career in an alternative music genre. So it is possible. Manson just couldn’t do it bc he only had three good albums and there’s only so much you can do if your whole career is just based on being as shocking as possible. Eventually you can’t pull that shit anymore and you become predictable if that’s all you’re relying on

Idk the more I read about him and now that I’m out of my teenage edgelord phase the more shitty Manson seems as a person even without the abuse shit. Like nothing is /his/ fault or that his new music sucks or that people moved on from him it’s always a societal thing and it’s so gross. He’s just genuinely unlikable and idk I hope to god that Wood has that going for her bc he’s certainly not as charming and smarmy as depp can be but all the other stuff I mentioned kinda scares me. I don’t want to infantalize her either bc she was an adult but I mean… come on 18-19 is barely an adult I made some of the worst decisions of my life then and a 30+ year old man should know better.

Idk I’m just so angry and upset about all this.

Yeah he’s terrible and she’s gonna have an uphill battle tbh. Yes he’s less likable, but the whole point is gonna be “oh this was an act and she knew it” and he does appear to have her on tape lying and her and Illma dated and shit so 💀💀 it’s gonna be a bloodbath.

How that goes, especially with the dating thing, is also gonna impact Phoebe’s case (which tbh at this point I think she should try settle like if I was Phoebe I’d just pay that cunt and make it go away because she’s gonna tbh be screwed).

#nat talks celebs idk #nat talks social stuff

[javierpena-inatacvest]

i miss our menace couple 😫😫😫 and while we waited for new chapter i wanted to ask you 4, 10, 12 from the games! 🥰

Hi non!! I know, I’m so sorry, the timeframe between Halloween and Thanksgiving is always crazy at school between testing and Parent Teacher Conferences so ya girl has been gassed and writing has been on the back burner for a hot sec 😭 I have no plans today so I am hoping to crank out a lot of chapter 17 today!!!

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Oh god… this is SO hard…. Dialogue is my FAVORITE thing to write so I’m choosing more than one 😩

I love from chapter 2 when Javi is going to drive Osita back to her apartment after she’s hurt and is joking that he’s gonna kidnap her

“Just gotta get the keys from my pops and then I’ll be right back.”

“What if I try to make a break for it?”

“It won’t take me long to catch you.”

“Touché.”

In chapter 7 when Osita wakes up Javi by taking care of him but won’t let him go down on her until he gets ready for work bc she knows this man is hungry as hell

“You are not making this any easier on me!” You jokingly shoved him. “You and I both know that if you don’t eat, the rumbling in your stomach is loud enough to set off seismic wave detectors for an earthquake, and while I am flattered by your offer, I don’t think my pussy has enough nutritional value to get you through lunch time without eating.”

Anything with Steve is some of my favorite dialogue to write so I love in chapter 10 when he catches Javi and Osita at his birthday 😂

Whatever ya say man. Hey listen, all the girls are cashed out in the car so we’re gonna hit the road. I just wanted to say it was so good to see you, Peña. The two of you need to come by sometime now that we’re close. I know I’ve given you a lot of shit over the years, but I mean it when I say I’m really fucking happy for you. Happy birthday, ya grumpy old bastard.” Steve pulled in Javi for a hug, giving him one last pat on the back before pulling away. “And Jav?”

“Yeah, Murph?”

“Your fly’s undone.”

Idk non, I could write Dialoge for days it is my favorite part of writing 🤪

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Okay so Javi is my favorite Pedro character bc I believe in my heart of hearts that this man is actually such a big softie, and loves and cares so deeply for the people around him. After Season 3 especially, I feel like you can tell how much he wishes he could have had a more “normal” life, and had to give up some of the things, like a family, that he’s always wanted but he feels like he’ll never get, let alone deserve. Osita is kind of in the same boat after her relationship with Paul and isn’t really quite sure what to do after her life has felt like it’s fallen apart too. I also love the “I didn’t know how much I needed you until I had you” trope and was perfect for these two because they both love and care about each other so deeply and weren’t sure if they’d ever find the kind of love they have for each other 🥺💕

12: What do you like least about this fic?

That at some point, it has to end 😩 No idk, I think that the fact that I tend to write long ass chapters has been hard for me, like I love the way they turn out, but I also am a huge people pleaser so I put a lot of pressure on my self to try and write and put stuff on here as often as I can and sometimes it’s kind of daunting. Like I feel awful that chapter 17 has taken so long but I know that’s a me thing 🥴

Thanks for the asks non!!!

#Madeline’s mail