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feelbokkie · 2 months

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Emergency Bokkie's Room #2

(Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again)

I want to start off by saying that I'm not mad. At least not right now. I was at first, but I'm just tired at this point and something should be said.

You might have noticed that I haven't been as active content writing wise lately and that I've stopped tagging my mutuals in the hashtag section of my posts and there are reasons for that.

fair warning, there will be swearing below

there will also probably be spelling and grammar mistakes bc I don't care

I am getting tired. I'm not burnt out. God, I wish I was because i have so many ideas running through my head at all times that it's exhausting.

I'm straight up, no longer having a good time on this account and that's because of somethings that have been happening behind the scenes. I wasn't going to talk about it but at the end of the day, I should address them, even if it's only once.

In no particular order:

First, if you're going to harass my mutuals. Don't. I stopped tagging my mutuals via hashtags, I deleted my mutuals list, and I am painstakingly going through the old hashtags and deleting them. They're my friendships. Who I interact with, how I interact with them, and when I interact with them is between me and that individual.

If you want to be friends with me, talk to me. Ask anyone, I'm pretty pleasant to talk to when I'm not going through it.

But also, remember that I'm an adult and I can take care of myself. I don't need anyone fighting my battles for me. If you're concerned about who I surround myself with, take that up with me directly, or trust that can handle things on my own. Because, at the end of the day, I can. If you're mad that I'm friends with them and not you, maybe try having a conversation with me first before you go attacking people. Just a a help suggestion.

Second,

i know i'm annoying at times. i'm the youngest child, it's in my blood. if you are getting annoyed by my rambles, simply just block them. I tag all my rumbles and I even made a helpful guide on how to do so right here and i even have a list of commonly used tags that i have on this account too that you can also block

Finally, I shouldn't have to say this because it should be very obvious but shit like this is never okay:

First of all, if you're going to be blatantly racist to anyone, unkindly get the fuck off my page. My fics are not for you. I don't have the time or patience to deal with you or your ignorant ass. If I see you being disrespectful towards anyone in my asks, comments, etc. it's an automatic block on all my accounts, I don't give a single fuck.

Secondly, I'm delusional, yes, but I'm also just having fun. I'm not actually trying to date anyone in skz or any other idol for that matter. It's called a joke, I don't know if anyone's explained the concept to you, but it's not to be taken seriously. Just like my page isn't. Me joking about me dating Seungmin and how "that man owns me atp" isn't serious and it wasn't serious enough for you to call me the n-word with the hard -er. Which, congratulations btw, you are the second person ever to call me that to my face (the first being my dad and he is the devil reincarnate so, what does that make you?).

I shouldn't have to sit here and lecture anyone on basic human decency and common sense but here we are. We are very rapidly approaching a future where I'm just not on tumblr at all anymore which sucks for a multitude of reasons and I'm just trying to have fun like everyone else.

Okay, that's all. For those of you who read through the end and didn't need to be scolded, sorry about that. Please take this big hug as an apology

#emergency feelbokkies room

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feelbokkie · 9 months

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Emergency Feelbokkie's Room

look, I'm not mad, just disappointed and very, very tired. me mental health was already not doing well to begin with and that's why I took a two week break and it still wasn't 100% when I came back but I did bc I genuinely love being on this account and engaging with you guys.

that being said, some of you might have noticed that I haven't been as active on here compared to how much time I spent on here before my break

that's because shit in my ask box has gotten out of hand since Monday, and I cleared my ask box before i left by doing all the requests I was willing and able too and deleting the nastier comments.

I know I was writing like a literally beast before, but I am a person who has feelings. I know you can't see me but please remember that.

it is only wednesday but I nearly at my breaking point.

I don't ask a lot from you guys, just to be kind and respectful. it's written in my pinned post and my rules for requests. and that is not only to me but it extends to my moots and my followers as well. my account is meant to be a safe space for everyone and I want to keep it that way.

i don't appreciate being sworn at (unaffectionately) or being told who I should or shouldn't interact with or what I should or shouldn't post

if you have a problem with something I post bc it's in excess or not why you followed me, I do tag everything so feel free to blacklist them:

#feelbokkie rambles (for all my posts that have nothing to do with my original works)

#feelbokkie answers (for all of my answered asks)

hell, if you have a problem with me responding to any of my emoji anons, block those tags too since I put #*insert emoji her* anon

If you're not sure how to blacklist a tag, I made a helpful guide back when Don't Let Me Love You was at it's peak

or if you want, you can simply unfollow me

for those of you who don't like how I portrayed certain skz members in past smaus, it's all fiction and I do not know what else to tell you it is very obvious that I don't think of them in any of the negative ways you're saying I do.

I am so close to taking off anon which isn't fair to my emoji mutuals or those of you who feel more comfortable interacting with me from anon or those who want to make a request and don't want to be judged but if the several of you, or maybe it's just one of you, don't stop, I'm going to have to take it away to protect me peace. I get so much anxiety when I see a new notification next to my inbox that it is raising my anxiety and puts me on the borderline of an anxiety attack every time now it's not even funny

knock it off, I am so fucking serious

for those of you who are being kind and respectful, thank you and I'm sorry

#feelbokkie answers #emergency feelbokkies room

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feelbokkie · 1 year

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When he accidentially leaks your secret relationship

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

Part 1

**Suggested/Requested**

Hi don't mean to bother you. Your post about Stray Kids and hiding your relationship...I had this idea about that the same thing use as a subtle way to show your relationship is the thing that exposes it...

Just an idea :))

genre: fluff? Slight angst? Idek

pov: 2nd person

description: He was too cocky with his subtle ways, now the world knows about the two of you

pairing: bf!skz x reader

warnings: swearing??

word count: 2,837

방 찬 (Bang Chan)

Let’s be honest, this was bound to happen eventually

You didn't even know that the first few songs in the playlist spelled your name until your name was trending

"That is both the cutest and dumbest thing you've ever done." “Y/N…” “I know, I know! I’m just saying, if we have to announce our relationship to the world, at least we have a killer playlist to go along with it.” “The songs are mostly your suggestions.” “Exactly!”

You both are surprisingly calm about everything

You two were waiting for a call from the higher ups about your relationship but no big deal, it's not like the faith of your entire relationship depended on the call

You both hung around the JYP building all day, figuring it would be easier

When you two finally got the call, all you had to do was go upstairs

"I'm not break up with Y/N." "Nobody said anything about a break up." "I know, but I'm just letting everyone here know up front that breaking up is not an option."

It was a long meeting

The response to speculation of you two dating was relatively positive

So it was decided that your relationship would be announced, it was just a matter of how

You two were given the option of either announcing it yourselves or having an official statement written

You needed to give them an answer within two hours before things got crazy online

The two of you went down to his studio where you had a conversation about it

Neither of you wanted to come out with your relationship, but you ultimately decided that you would do it on your own

Chan announced it on an emergency Channie's room

You were there too, but you stayed off camera for now, not fully comfortable with being in the spotlight

But your hand and voice made an appearance at least

"All we ask is that you guys be respectful. And that you're also respecting of our privacy. Especially Y/N's."

이 민 호 (Lee Min-Ho)

Blame low battery Minho

The boys had a super busy schedule during a comeback

And he was very tired

During one interview, that was being live streamed, it kind of slipped out

“Lee Know, we’ve noticed that there is one dance move that you’ve added in almost all of your performances, is that your dance signature?”

All he had to do was say yes and be done with it.

“It’s something I do specifically for my partner so they know I’m thinking of them and that I love them.”

You were watching at home and choked on your snack

He didn’t even realize what he said at first

All the boys tried their best not to turn to him and stare

“Your partner?” “Yeah, my p—Ah!”

Baborachaville population: 3. Mayor: Lee Minho

That woke him up

Chan tried to change the subject while Jisung and Hyunjin tried not to laugh. Felix and Seungmin kept looking at the staff, who were all panicking. Changbin and Jeongin were looking at Minho worried

Keeping the interview on, you packed a few things so you can stay at Minho’s dorm for a bit. He’s going to beat himself up over this

He stayed quiet for the rest of the interview

Only reacted when one of the boys interacted with him

The interviewer gave up talking to him when they realized that he was only giving back short answers

Once the interview is over, he is pulled to the side by one of the managers telling him that he has to go back to the company at that very moment

Calls you immediately and tells you to meet him at the company

You two arrive around the same time

"Oh, we only needed Minho for this." "I can just sit outside--" "There are two people in this relationship. Whatever you want to say to me, you can say to the both of us."

서 창 빈 (Seo Chang-Bin)

This was bound to happen (pt 2)

Honestly should have happened so much sooner than it did

Seungmin, Jisung, Minho, and you had a betting pool going on for when it would happen

Not that you wanted it to happen, but the way Changbin is so reckless with his necklace, you might as well earn some money out of it

It happened at a fan signing event

Everything was going well

And like normal, the necklace was on full display

He was chatting happily with a fan until…

“Whose Y/N?”

Changbin.exe has stopped working

*Cue stammering Changbin*

His blood ran cold and he couldn’t think of an answer to cover up

Staff saw something was wrong and ushered the fan away

Unfortunately for the two of you, the Stay was recording the interaction

And uploaded it online

Changbin immediately asked to be excused so he could call you

“Binnie! I thought you had and an event right about now?” “Please don’t break up with me!” “What did you do now?”

You were upset, rightfully so

It was the last thing you wanted to happen

Even though you were mentally prepared for this because of your boyfriend's antics

And the relationship wasn't allowed

But the whole thing is hilarious

"Y/N! Stop laughing! This is serious!"

The whole time you're on the phone with him, you're sending a text to bet group chat asking for your money

"Seriously though, we are going to get a lot of shit for this so we're probably going to have to go to the company soon." "I'll take full responsibility." "You better! Literally everyone told you the necklace was a bad idea!" "There's no such thing as a bad idea when it comes to you."

황 현 진 (Hwang Hyun-Jin)

He lost the fucking ring again

At this point, just glue the damn thing to his finger

Unfortunately for him, this time it flew into a crowd of Stays

At some point during your relationship, he started wearing that ring exclusively on his ring finger

The problem is, it is just a bit bigger on that finger

Herein lies the problem

The ring flew off on stage, someone kicked it while dancing, and it landed in the pit

He didn't even notice until a few songs later when he went to touch the ring and saw it was gone

Slowly starts to panic but has to try to keep his cool because he is actively working

He failed

There are hundreds of videos of him constantly glancing at the floor while dancing and asking one of the other members if they had seen the ring

A Stay who had dropped their light stick happened to to find the ring on the floor

Thought another stay had lost their duplicate ring until they saw Hyunjin frantically looking for it on stage

Saw your name and the anniversary date engraved on the inside

Immediately snapped a photo of it, engraving and all, before trying to flag down a security guard

When that didn't work, they waited until one of the boys was near the stage

Seungmin came near the stage and saw the fan holding out the ring

The Stay's suspicions were confirmed when Minnie checked the inside of the ring before running off to Hyunjin and giving him the ring

The Stay also filmed everything and caught Sungmin and Hyunjin checking the inside of the ring

Nobody thought anything of it until the next day when the Stay uploaded the pictures and video

You found out about it before any of the boys

You and Hyunjin were trending on Twitter

"I was just about to call you, my angel. How was your night?" "We've got a problem." "What happened?"

You were stuttering and stammering and he couldn't make sense what was going on until Felix came into the hotel room to check on him

And showed him what was happening online

"Don't stress, I'll fix it." "Jinnie, you shouldn't stress either. It was a freak accident."

Man is stressed

Felix is literally cuddling him, trying to calm him down

But he is on the brink of tears

Slowly, more members make their way into the room to check on him

"What if they make us break up?" "I'll riot. We'll all riot!" (Changbin)

He had put you on speaker since he was freaking out and didn't know what else to do

Everything was fine in the end

한 지 성 (Han Ji-Sung)

Complete mistake

You two were out on a date

He asked you to take some photos of him because he needed to post on the Stray Kids instagram page

A chance to take a picture of your boyfriend and have an exclusive one all to yourself? Hell yeah!

You took a bunch of pictures

Some couple pictures as well

You sent them to him and he carefully selected which ones to put in the carousel

After he uploaded the photos, the two of you put your phones away for the remainder of the date

Ringers off and do not disturb on, only taking them out to take a few more pictures

At the end day, the two of you head back to the dorm to relax and watch tv

Only to be surprised by Chan, Minho, and Changbin sitting on the couch.

"Did you two throw your phones away or something?" "What?" "Everyone's been trying to reach you all day." "Who died?" "You might."

Changbin pulls up one of the pictures that Jisung uploaded

Only there is a hand squeezing Jisung's cheek

Your hand

To be more specific, your hand squishing Jisung's cheeks with your freshly painted nails on full display AND Jisung's left hand on your wrist with his freshly painted nail also on display

You quickly head to Twitter to see if anyone noticed

And boy did they

Chan, being the responsible one, took the picture out of the carousel as soon as he saw it but of course it was too late

"Oh, fuck me..." "You two don't have time for that right now." "Minho, please shut the fuck up."

Jisung was quiet the whole time

"Hey, Sungie, it's okay." "It's very much not okay." "Let's sit down, yeah?"

Cue full blown panic attack

The four of you spent 30 minutes calming him down

"It's all my f-fault." "Hey, hey, it's okay."(you) "Yeah, it could have been worse. You could have accidently uploaded a picture with Y/N's face in it." (Changbin) "Hey, Bin, why don't you go help Min make tea?" (Chan)

The two of you had to go to the company the next day to settle everything

이 용 복 (Lee Felix Yong-Bok)

The original bracelet broke from being tied and untied repeatedly

He managed to attach it to his phone case so he could still keep it near him

You made him a new once since he was sad about not being able to look down to his wrist and think of you

Was on live by himself one day

Just casually for fun

"'What happened to your bracelet with the pink heart bead?' Oh, it fell off since I take it off and put it back on a lot for work. It's on my phone now though. I was pretty upset so Y/N made another one for me."

He spoke so quickly that he didn't catch it at first

Realized what he said after a second

Silently cursing himself in his head for letting your name slip out like that

It was just so natural that he forgot where he was

Sat quietly praying that nobody realized what he said

They did

Your name flooded the comments

Whose Y/N? Y/N?? Are you dating Y/N? Who tf is Y/N??

"D-do you guys want to see the new bracelet?"

He didn't know how to move on and there were no comments or questions that weren't about you that he could pick on to change the subject

Didn't want to abruptly end the live because he felt like it would make it worse

He was filming at the company and Chan, who was working in the studio, happened to be watching so he came to save Felix

You were at work when all this happened

And your phone was in the break room so you were unreachable

By the time you were off work, Felix had spammed your phone with calls and texts

Even left you a few voicemails

The last text let you know that there would be a car sent to pick you up and bring you to the company

Luckily, you didn't drive to work

You read all the texts and listened to the voicemails before calling Felix

"Y/N, thank God! I'm so sorry, I royally fucked up." "Lix, it's fine. We'll take care of it." "They want to talk to see the both of us when you get here." "Who?" "The managers. The PR team. JYP himself probably. I don't know, everyone." "It'll be okay, Felix."

김 승 민 (Kim Seung-Min)

Technically, it wasn’t his fault

How could it be? He put the photocard inside his phone case to avoid all this

The boys were filming a SKZ code video and Jisung's mission was to steal four phone cases

Unfortunately, Seungmin was an easy target and his phone case was swiped without him even realizing

And, at some point, your photo card had fallen out of the phone case

Seungmin had gotten a text from you when he realized that your photo card, and his phone case of course, were missing

Immediately gave up on his mission and went to go look for it

Jisung, when showing that he had completed the mission, accidentally revealed your pc inside the case

And the editors failed to catch the quick glimpse of the photo card when they were working

Nobody who would watch the video later on would notice who the picture in the phone case

Instead, it should have sparked a bunch of dating rumors

No, what gave you away was when Seungmin could be heard in the background several different times saying "Where's my photo card of Y/N?"

Again, another mistake on the editor's part

Nobody knew anything about this until you sat down to watch the latest SKZ code while hanging out at the dorm

You were sitting on Seungmin's bed with your laptop while he was making lunch for the two of you

That's when you saw a glimpse of your photo and you name repeatedly whispered by Seungmin

"Minnie! Seungmin! We have a major problem!" "What?"

You played the video at all the appropriate timestamps and he saw/heard everything immediately

While he sat there processing, you scrolled down to the comments to see if anyone else caught it

A lot of people were either trying to guess which idol was in the case, questioning who you were, or talking about other parts of the video

Who TF is Y/N was trending on Twitter

"I totally get it if you want to break up with me." "I'm not breaking up with you, especially over something that wasn't your fault."

The two of you spent the rest of the day in bed, mentally preparing for everything and waiting for the company call you two in

양 정 인 (Yang Jeong-In)

Was on live with Seungmin and Felix

He wanted to show Stay a notification that came on his phone

Why? I don't know

But he got distracted by something Felix said and ended up holding down the screen

Seungmin notices first and pulled Innie’s phone out of his hand trying to pretend he needed to check something

But it was too late, Stay had already seen the your face appear on the screen and the small montage that followed

That included at least one picture of the two of you kissing

The three maknaes ended the live early since all the fans wanted to to was talk about the video on Innie’s phone

Didn’t know what to do at first and Seungmin and Felix were no help, so he called Chan

“Hyung, what do I do?” “First things first, you need to calm down. Second you need to called Y/N and let them know what happened before they’re blindsided.”

While your boyfriend was stressing, you were blissfully unaware, relaxing at home

“Innie!” “I am so sorry!” “What happened?”

This is probably the worst way you two could have been found out

You two were really careful

And Jeongin doesn’t like public displays of affection

Hell, you two barely even held hands or hugged in public

And now there is a picture of the two of you kissing out there in the world

You had to BEG him to take that photo in the first place, saying how only the two of you would be the only ones to see it

Was full on sobbing when you opened the door to your apartment

Neither of you had the courage to see what was being said online, but it couldn't be good

Instead, you two spend a quiet night in, trying not to think about anything

You'll deal with everything tomorrow

—

Buy me a coffee?

1K notes · View notes

feelbokkie · 24 days

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🤎Brown🤎

☀️Feelbokkie M.list ☀️

Brown: Nature, Wholesomeness, Dependability

genre: domestic fluff, reverse sick fic

pov: 2nd person

description: seungmin gets sick and you make it your mission to take care of him, even if he doesn't want you to

pairing: seungmin x reader

warnings: minimal swearing

word count: 2,722

screenshot count: 1

🖍️Crayon Box M.list🖍️

"Why are you calling me this early? What happened?" You hear Chan groggily ask on the other end of the phone. You know he's been up for a while. The boys have practice in about an hour.

Seungmin is normally up right about now, getting ready to spend a few hours at the company. He'd be in the kitchen, packing his bag with snacks and frozen water bottles that you put away for him the night before. He was always loud in the kitchen, whether it was intentional or not, you're unsure. It was almost like he was waking you up without waking you up so that when he came to cuddle with you for a bit before he had to leave, he wouldn't have to deal with you pouting at him for waking you up.

"Seungmin is asleep," You whisper as you close your bedroom door behind you.

"Still?" You hear rustling in the background, "Does he know what time it is?"

"His alarm woke me up, which in itself is weird. He normally wakes up and turns it off before it does that. And when I told him to wake up he mumbled something I couldn't hear and went back to sleep. But Chan," You speak up as you make you way to the bathroom, "he feels hot."

You tuck your phone between your shoulder and ear as you pull out a washcloth and turn on the cold water. You drench the cloth as much as you can before wring out the excess water and tiptoeing back to your room where Seungmin is not so peacefully sleeping. His mouth is slightly parted like it normally is, his upper lip slightly twitching. Three vertical lines sit between his eyebrows as his face is screwed up in pain. You gently place the towel on his forehead before leaving the room again.

"He hasn't been feeling well the past couple of days. I told him to go home and rest but I think he didn't want to be home alone. But I've been making him take it easy when we were practicing."

You make your way back to the kitchen, grab a large plastic bowl from underneath the sink, and fill it up with water. You freeze as you nearly lose your grip on your phone before shutting off the water and walking back to the room. You set the bowl on the bedside table next to Seungmin before sitting down at the foot of the bed.

"I noticed that he looked tired and told him that he should just stay at the dorm since it's closer to the company but he said that he had to save me from myself." You sigh, taking one more look at your boyfriend.

"He said that you have a big exam today and that he was worried you were going to spend too much time studying to even eat."

"That idiot over-exaggerates. Anyway, it's fine, I'll just email my advisor and let them know I have a family emergency and make up the test later. I just wanted you to know so you aren't worried."

"No, thank you for calling. Just keep me updated. Thanks for taking care of him." He says softly.

"Not a problem. I'll text you periodically. I'm going to try to wake him up to take his temperature and give him some medicine. Have a good practice."

You hang up the phone before taking a deep sigh while looking at Seungmin. With the cool towel on his head, his face softens a bit, more relaxed. Seungmin doesn't get sick often. He's always worried about getting sick and giving it to him. If anyone around him is sick, he makes sure to stay away from you as long as possible. You're not sure if he even realized he was sick time or if he just thought he was exhausted from work.

You gently pat Seungmin's leg before getting up and leaving the room again, making a beeline straight to the bathroom. You grab the thermometer and a bottle of ibuprofen. You shuffle over to the kitchen and get a glass of water and a packet of crackers before slowly making your way back into your room.

"Don't come in!" Seungmin coughs, "I'm sick,"

You push the door open further just as Seungmin scrambles to pull the blanket up over his nose. His tired yet concerned eyes stare directly at you, carefully watching you. It makes your heart ache to see him being so sick and still worrying about you.

"I know you are, idiot. How do you think that rag got on your head?" You chuckle as you place the cup down and sit down next to Seungmin.

You pull the thermometer out and wait for Seungmin to pull the covers down so you can see how high his fever is. He pulls the blanket tighter to his face and shakes his head.

"Let me take your temperature," You coo, trying to coax him out of the blanket.

"Put a mask on," He says loudly through the blanket before coughing.

"We slept in the same room last night, pretty sure you latched onto me at some point. Your germs are my germs, anyway." You sigh as you try to pull the blanket away from him. Somehow, he's stronger than he normally is."

"Mask," He chokes out through a fit of coughs. "You have your exam today."

You try one more time to yank down the blanket, to no avail. "I'm going to take it during the makeup day. I'm calling off work today too."

"But it's your qualifying exam. You've studied so hard for it."

You can imagine the pout that's hiding beneath the blanket. The way his lower lip is jutting out and how his chin is trembling as he tries to keep from crying. You can see the tears well in his eyes. Something about being sick makes Seungmin overly sensitive. Or maybe he's just too tired and busy fighting off the cold to hide his expressions like he normally would.

"It's okay, they'll understand. Family first, and you're my family. Okay so--What are you doing?"

Seungmin quickly throws off his covers and stands up, stumbling for a bit. You drop both the thermometer and ibuprofen bottle, putting your hands out in front of him, ready to catch him in case he falls.

"I'm going to practice. I'm not sick so you don't have to worry about me. Go take your exam and--" Seungmin stumbles again, prompting you to rush over to him and grab him before he falls.

"Seung, just come lay down." You rub soft circles on Seungmin's back as you try to lead him back to bed.

"It's just..." Seungmin takes a deep breath, turning away from you so he doesn't breathe on you. Or maybe so you don't see him cry. "You're always there to push me and support my dreams. I don't want to be the reason you don't achieve yours. I want to support you like you support me."

"Hey, Kim Seungmin. Don't get all soft and mushy on me now. You've been hanging around Hyunjin too much." You manage to guide him back to bed, his body too tired to fight back. "You support me so much. You've come here every night for the past month, making sure I don't study myself to death. And you cook for me, even if you're exhausted from work. You support me enough, okay?"

"Yeah but--"

"Look, I'll go put on a mask so I won't get sick. I will leave all the things you need outside the door. I'll sleep on the couch. Okay? But the exam is nearly 4 hours long. I wouldn't even be able to concentrate that long while you're sick."

"Ibuprofen lasts at least hours. Eight hours at most. That's enough time for you to take the exam and come back."

"Fuck, you're stubborn--I can take the exam next month."

"Give me the medicine and I'll take care of myself. If something goes wrong, I'll call Chan hyung."

"I wish you were the type of guy that turns into a useless baby when they're sick."

"I'm not Changbin hyung,"

"Let's make a deal," You pick up the thermometer from its spot on the bed. "You stick this in your mouth and let it check your temperature and then take the ibuprofen. I'll check again in an hour when I'm supposed to leave and if you're better, I'll go. I'll even get you some soup from that place near the train station on my way home."

"...Fine, but I'm not going to be happy about it." Seungmin begrudgingly takes the thermometer from you and puts it in his mouth. You can tell how sick he is by the way he's not even trying to argue with you anymore.

You watch as Seungmin for a second before getting up and leaving the room again, leaving the door open this time and heading straight to the kitchen. You grab Seungmin's mug from the cup, a simple cream-colored mug with a brown handle and a person with a brown heart in the middle. You have the matching mug in green. Seungmin found them when he was on tour one day, you're not sure where he found them.

You set the mug on the counter as you pull out the electric kettle from the cupboard and fill it up with water. You turn it on and go through the boxes of various teas, looking for one that doesn't have caffeine in it.

"Y/n--" You hear Seungmin yell followed by a string of coughs.

"Seungmin, don't shout if your throat hurts." You call back, opening the tea bag and placing it in the mug.

You duck into the bathroom, taking a mask and putting it on before heading back to check on Seungmin. When you walk into the room, he's drinking the water you gave to him, clutching his chest. "What's wrong?"

"My fever is 38.9," He breathes. You frown, hearing the congestion in his voice.

"That's not too bad but it's still not good. I should--"

"No!" He sets the half-empty cup down on the bedside table, "You gave me an hour."

You roll your eyes, walking back to the kitchen to finish making Seungmin's tea and bringing it to him. "Did you take the pills I gave you?"

"Yes," He watches you as you set the cup next to the water and sit down at the edge of the bed. His face twists into a pout when he sees how close you are to him.

"That's going to take about half an hour to kick in. Besides the fever, how do you feel?" You move Seungmin's hair out of his face, his bangs clinging to his forehead wet from either sweat or the water from the compress.

"My head hurts a little and my throat feels like it's on fire. There is so much phlegm in my body, I don't think I have any blood left. Prick my finger to check." Seungmin throws his hand in between you.

"You are so lucky that I'm so truly, madly, deeply in love with you that you can't give me the ick because that's disgusting." You laugh, "Are you hungry?"

"Not really, just tired."

You stand up and stretch, your shirt slightly lifting. You watch as Seungmin reaches to poke your exposed stomach but stops himself halfway through, dropping his hand in his lap slightly pouting again. "Okay, I'm going to take a shower, I'll make you some soup when I'm done because you have to eat something. Lay down for now."

Seungmin just nods and lays back down, covering himself with the blankets while you grab your clothes.

"Drink your tea," You remind him.

🤎🤎🤎

"Why aren't you wearing gloves?" Seungmin croaks as you place a new compress on his head.

"Be so fucking serious right now," You deadpan, dropping your eyes to meet his.

"I am," Your expression softens at the sight of his puppy dog eyes.

"Would you prefer I wear a hazmat suit?"

"I would actually." He pouts, "I just don't want you to get sick."

"Just shut up and let me take care of you." You breathe, finally getting annoyed.

You were set to go and take your exam like Seungmin wanted you to when you got an email about a flood at the testing site. Seungmin didn't believe you at first when you told him the exam had been rescheduled. He thought you were lying so you could stay home to take care of him. You had to show him the official email and everything to shut him up.

"I can take care of myself," He mutters under his breath.

"I know you can, but you don't have to. I like taking care of you so let me do it."

"Yeah but when I get sick, I'm fine after a couple of days. When you get sick, you're sick for a while. And you're miserable. So I'll take care of myself if it means you don't get sick." He sits up slightly.

He sounds better now. He's less congested than before thanks to the humidifier put in the room. His face has some color back to it and his nose is a little red from blowing his nose. He woke up not long ago. After he ate breakfast, he took a small nap before you made him take a shower to cool him down a bit. His fever is finally breaking and you can breathe for once today.

"Y-you shut up. It feels weird when you say sweet things like that."

"That was like, the bare minimum. I didn't even say anything mushy. Am I not nice enough to you?" Seungmin sits up, grabs your wrist, and stares back at you.

"You're more than nice to me, Minnie. I'm just teasing you." You whisper softly, stroking his face with the back of your hand. He feels cooler than he did earlier. His fever might actually be breaking.

Seungmin gently places your hand on the bed and takes the towel out of your hand, tossing it aside. He gently squeezes your hand and looks at your face with such tender eyes, you're not sure if it's because he still doesn't feel well or something else entirely.

"It's important to me that you understand that I'm mean to you in a loving way. I love you so much and I honestly wish I was a better boyfriend to you. I don't know how I got so lucky with you.."

"Seung," You call softly.

"...You're so supportive and understanding of me and my chaotic ass career. I would marry you right here and now if you let me..."

"Minnie," You try again a little louder this time.

"...But I also feel bad because I feel like I don't give you enough attention. I depend on you so much it's not even funny anymore. I feel like my day isn't complete unless I make you smile or laugh at the very least--"

"Seungmin," You grab his face with both of your hands. He does feel cooler, but he's still a little warm. "Let's do this when you aren't running a fever and have a bunch of medicine in your system, m'kay?"

"Sorry, I just love you a lot." He mumbles, sheepishly looking down.

You want nothing more than to kiss him right now but you know that if you do, even with your mask, Seungmin will throw a fit. "I love you too. Take another nap while I make us some dinner,"

Seungmin nods his head slowly before lying back down. You grab the towel and rewet it before putting it on his head. You watch as a pout forms on Seungmin's face.

"What?" You tilt your head to the side while crouching down to his level.

"I want to ask you to lay down with me but I don't want you to get sick." He sucks in his lip while looking away.

"I'll come take a nap with you later. And before you protest, I'll sleep with the mask on so don't worry."

"Did I already tell you how much I love you?"

"More than you need to, Seung. Now get some rest, I'll be back soon."

Bonus (a few days later):

—

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feelbokkie · 7 months

Text

🍂Autumn Mornings🍂

genre: angst, all hurt no comfort

pov: 2nd person

description: you fear your boyfriend has fallen out of love with you

pairing: Minho x reader

warnings: swearing

word count: 1,996

☁️Seasons of Love Masterlist☁️

You can’t remember the last time Minho kissed you the first time he saw you. Before, he'd kiss you the second you woke up beside him in bed. And when he came to your apartment. And when you went to his dorm. It had gotten to the point where he'd come to your apartment and hunt you down to kiss you before he did anything else. You lost count of how many times he came over while you were in the bathroom and stood outside the door, waiting to kiss you. He would always wake up first and wait for you to wake up before he planted one right on you before your eyes were fully open.

And then one day he just…stopped. You brushed it off the first few times it happened. That his mind has been preoccupied with work or he had a tiring day. But days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months and it dawned on you that something had changed. You were aforethought before. The first thing on his mind when he woke up and who he wanted to come to. You're just an afterthought now. The final task on his to-do list that he keeps putting off in the back of his mind. And some days, he forgot about kissing you altogether. The overall feeling leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and a gut feeling in the core of your stomach.

Even now, as you sit on your bed, watching him get ready in the bathroom. The door is slightly ajar, the yellow bathroom light partly illuminating the room. You woke up 20 minutes ago and watched as Minho got ready for work. He mumbled a quick 'good morning' as he grabbed some of his clothes out of the drawer. You miss the days when he would purposely move recklessly around the room on days he had woken up a bit later and would be late for work. You mentally curse yourself for getting mad at him in those moments for waking you up. Your heart aching at the thought that he might never do it again.

The bathroom light flips off and Minho emerges from the bathroom. His hair, which is still damp from the shower he took earlier, is tucked messily in a beanie. A few strands of damp hair use stick to his forehead. In normal circumstances, you’d fix his hair for him, making him take off the hat so his hair properly dries. Run your hand through his soft, damp hair and breathe in his scent mixed with his shampoo, body wash, and cologne before pressing your lips into his for your second kiss of the morning. But these aren’t normal circumstances stances, so you leave his hair be and his soft, pink lips untouched, and your heart aching.

You watch quietly, sitting up and leaning your head against the headboard of your bed, as Minho finishes getting ready and leaves your room without so much as looking in your direction. Your heart sinks to the pit of your stomach as you take a deep breath. You hear a muffled curse come from outside your room before Minho quickly walks back into the room. He quickly kneels on the bed and lightly brushes his lips against your cheek. So softly, you're not sure if his lips actually touched your face. You turn your head almost instinctively, waiting for him to kiss you again, this time on your lips. His eyes shift you your lips and stay there, like he's thinking about something—hesitating even. He would always kiss you twice, once on the cheek and once on the mouth before whispering "That should hold me until I see you later." You shut your eyes, mentally cursing yourself. He hasn't done that in weeks, just like every other habit you've grown accustomed to.

"I'll see you when I get back from work," Minho's eyes finally meet your eyes, "Love you,"

"I love you too," You whisper back. He gives you a small smile and nods. Like he's checked off everything in whatever fucked up to-do list he has in his head before leaving the room again. You sit quietly again, processing everything that just happened as Minho stumbles around your apartment. After a few minutes, you hear the front door close. And just like that, you are an afterthought again.

🍂🍂🍂

"Did you mean it when you said you loved me?" You ask MInho when he walks back into your room after brushing his teeth.

He's been home for a few hours but the gut-wrenching pain that you've been feeling for a while has been eating at you all day after he told you he loves you this morning. Because he didn't technically say it.

It's funny how one little pronoun can change the whole meaning of a phrase. Minho said "love you" to your face before he left. Not "I love you," but "love you." He omitted the "I." The possessive. No longer claiming ownership over his love for you. Like the feeling no longer exists for him. He loves you, yes but he no longer loves you. Not in the way that matters. Not in the way that you want—no need him to.

"What? You know I do. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't. You know that." He says as he climbs into bed next to you.

He's already changed into his pajamas and clipped his hair out of his face for the night. His face is moisturized and his body is still warm from the hot shower he took. Part of you feels bad for starting this up with him now. It's too late for him to go back to the dorm now if it does turn into an argument. You wanted to bring it up earlier, but he was so tired from work. And then it was dinner time and you knew that if you got into a fight he wouldn't have eaten for the rest of the day and he probably hadn't eaten since breakfast. And then after dinner, he helped you wash the dishes and it still didn't feel right. But the pain in your chest and your stomach will not allow you to spend one more sleepless night without talking about it so it has to be now.

"You did this morning," You sit up straighter, if that is even possible, and turn to face Minho. His face screwed in confusion. His eyes look up as if he's trying to search for the memory of this morning in the pack of his head literally.

"No, I said it this morning and I meant it." He said firmly.

"Now you know how to use 'I.'" You mutter under your breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," You whisper. You're not sure if you actually want to get into it with him right now. You're scared of what might happen.

"Y/n, I had a really long day at work and I'm tired. I'm not a mind reader and I don't want to play games with you. If you have something to say, spit it out." He says quickly, now getting annoyed.

"You didn't say 'I love you' this morning." You reveal.

"Yes, I did," He snaps.

"No," You turn your body fully towards him, " you didn't. You said, "love you.' Not, 'I love you,' but 'love you.'"

"That's the same thing."

"No, it isn't."

"Y/n," He sighs and throws his head back, "it's one word."

"It's the word. It holds all the power. Without it, everything else is just...words. No passion or truth behind them."

"You're being ridiculous." He scoffs.

"No, I'm not. It's not just the 'I' in 'I love you.' You don't kiss me anymore. Not in the morning, not when you come home. Never."

"I kissed you this morning."

"That was barely a kiss. I'm not even sure your lips even touched my cheek."

"Again, you're being ridiculous. Let's—"

"No!" You shout, your hands balling into fists and your heart pounding in your ears. Hot tears prick the back of your eyes, threatening to fall.

"Y/n—"

"I'm not being ridiculous! Something is wrong and I've been trying to fix it but I'm the only one in this relationship who seems to care that it's broken. And, if there's anything I did to push you away or there's another p-person then I need to know—"

"There's nobody else and you didn't do anything to push me away," He says quickly, trying to calm you down. He places a hand on your shoulder. It's the first real touch you've felt from him in months. It's sincere—familiar. Like home. That's all it takes to push your tears past the dam.

"Then why don't you love me anymore?" You can't help but shout. Your emotions are all over the place now.

"I don't know," He says quietly. You almost didn't hear him past the pounding in your ears. Or maybe, you didn't want to hear him. Because he didn't deny not loving you anymore. He admitted it.

"You...you don't know?" You say just as softly, your voice as tiny as you feel right now. All the anger immediately leaves your body. The pounding in your ears and chest gets louder and more rapid as you sit on your bed, staring at Minho.

He doesn't love you anymore

"I..." His eyes meet yours. They're glossy and red as he tries not to cry himself. He's at a loss for words looking at your tear-stained face.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Your voice cracks. Your voice is so low you're not entirely sure any noise came out.

"I just don't know," He sighs. His head drops and he removes his hand, leaving your shoulder cold.

"What...Why...Did I..." You stumble around trying to find words, unsure how to function in this situation.

"I promise you didn't do anything. This is all me. I woke up one day and the feelings were just...not there. But I tried—Believe me, I fucking tried because I know deep down somewhere I still love you. I just can't—"

"How long?" You're not sure why you're asking him, you already know the answer. Maybe your brain just needs to hear him say it.

"I—I don't know,"

"What do you know?" You spit out. Anger is slowly returning to your body and filling in the spaces that were left hollow by your heart being ripped out of your chest.

"I know that I can't keep lying to you anymore. That I can't keep faking it hoping to feel the way I did about you again. I tried—I've been trying."

He does not love you anymore. He never will.

"I..." Your mind is blank, unable to process what's happening and your emotions all at once. Your chest is heavy, anger, sadness, confusion, pain— a whole cocktail of emotions flooding your lungs making it impossible to breathe.

"But I don't want to break up. Maybe...maybe if we just take a break—" Minho lifts his head. Tears are falling down his face. He knows he hurt you. He's been trying to avoid this for months for this exact reason. If only he was able to quietly fall back in love, then all of this could have been avoided. He tries to take your hands into his but you quickly pull away, his touch feeling like a surge of electricity course through your body. And not in the way that would have immediately send butterflies to your stomach. No, this time it's painful.

"Don't...just don't," Your voice breaks again.

"Y/n, I'm sorry," He says softly and you know he means it.

"I...I—I need some air." You quickly leave the room, the emotions in your chest becoming unbearable. You can't breathe. Your worst nightmare is coming true and you can't fucking breathe.

He doesn't love you anymore

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

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feelbokkie · 3 months

Text

Howl's Moving Studio

Feeltober Day 10

genre: fluff, crack

pov: 2nd person

description: Chan desperately wants a new sound bite to use in future songs and you aren't having it. (i don't even know)

pairing: Chan x werewolf!reader

warnings: slightly suggestive, swearing

word count: 460

☀️Feelbokkie M.list ☀️

👻13 Days of Feeltober👻

"Please?" Chan whines, begging you.

"I'm mad that you dragged me all the way over here for this," You huff, crossing your arms across your chest.

"Y/n, please? Just once and I'll never ask you again. I promise." He pulls your chair closer to his.

"Someone is going to hear." You warn him, still refusing to look at him.

"You know better than anyone that this room is soundproof." You turn to finally look at your boyfriend. He's slightly hunched over his chair, hanging onto yours trying to keep you from leaving.

You're glad Changbin and Jisung aren't hear right now. They would either tease the both of you or be utterly disgusted. Both are valid reactions.

Chan called you to come into the studio saying it was an emergency. The "emergency" being him needing you to howl for soundbite for future songs. You need to sit him down and have a serious talk about emergencies one day. The last time this happened, he wanted to see who was faster in a race to settle a bet with the rest of the boys.

"I'm not howling for you to record!" You groan, getting up from your chair and walking over to the couch.

"What if I bark?" He furrows his eyebrows and presses his lips together.

"That's got to be racist." You scoff, rolling your eyes as you pull out your phone.

"If I apologize, will you howl for me?" He rolls his chair towards you

"Do you ever quit?"

"Of course not. How do you think I debuted?" He gets up from his chair and kneels next to you. "...What if I paid you?"

"Christopher!" You groan out of frustration.

"Royalties and everything." He pushes.

"Why don't you get Seungmin to do it?"

Chan stares at you blinking for a moment. You can hear the gears turning in his head while you absentmindedly scroll through Instagram. You glance at Chan only to find him smirking at you.

"Are jealous because you can hear Seungmin going 'mong mong' in a song?" He leans in closer to you.

"What? No!" You throw your phone on the couch, turning your head and crossing your arms yet again.

"Well, I'm in love with you, not Seungmin. And I was planning on using your voice in a love song. But I guess if you really don't want to--"

"What kind of howl do you want?" You quickly get up and sit in front of the mic, blocking how red your face has gotten from Chan's line of sight.

"There's more than one kind?" He asks excitedly as he goes back to his laptop.

"Oh, fuck me," You mutter under your breath, squeezing your eyes shut.

"Later," He waves you off. "Now about these howls..."

—

Buy me a coffee?

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feelbokkie · 11 months

Text

Love Risk | Chapter 19

pairing: Hyunjin x fem reader; Changbin x fem reader

genre: smau, dating because of a bet, crack, angst, fluff, university au

pov: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

warnings: swearing,

summary: Hyunjin and Changbin make a bet to see who can make the reader fall in love with them first. Will one of them be able to succeed or will it all crash and burn before they do?

word count: 2,374 (unedited)

screenshot count: 2

a/n: one more to go...

previous | masterlist | next

You’re not exactly sure what you did i your life, but some one was out to keep you from ever being happy. Or at least that’s what you convinced yourself. The universe is kicking you while you are already down.

Hyunjin and Ae-Cha were right in assuming you got hurt. You twisted your right knee at one of your jobs, twisting it after picking up a box you had no business carrying on your own incorrectly. After everything blew up with your friend group, you found it increasingly hard to avoid all eight of them, especially the three you live with. Both Hyunjin and Felix offered to move out to make things easier. You had to remind them that it would only make the rent higher for everyone who stayed. But being around them, running into them in the corridor or in the kitchen was constantly hurting you more. You have to move out, it's the only solution. But even with the stipend you're getting from JYPE, you couldn't afford to live on your own as is. So, you found two more jobs that would help you afford a one bedroom in a shady neighborhood close enough to campus. One was at a bar where you made excellent tips and the the other was at a convenience store. Both were on the other side of town to avoid running into your former friends. It meant late nights and long hours, some days you would leave one job to go to the other, but it helped keep your mind distracted.

Your knee was fine. You were used to dancing through injuries. You would rest and ice your knee in your free time and not put too much pressure. There was only a minor pain at this point. But today during class, you were practicing your final practical with Hyunjin when you twisted your knee by doing a turn that you've done hundreds of times. And after you went down, and could hardly get back up, your professor ended class early and let Felix, Hyunjin, and Ae-Cha help you out. Because of how far the hospital is from campus, the three of you had no choice but to ask Minho, the only one out of the entire former friend group, who has a car. Which led to an awkward car ride and 1 in the waiting room if the ER. Knowing how you feel about hospitals and doctors' offices, Felix stayed with you the whole time, giving you your space by trying not to talk to you and helping you fill out your medical forms, a battle that he ultimately won against Ae-Cha.

You managed to completely snap your ACL. It's an injury that wouldn't completely ruin your career, but can an will ruin every aspect of your life. Out of shock, you hardly said anything on the way home. They sent you back with a knee brace, crutches, and some pain medication for now.

"If it's completely snapped then why did they send you home?" Minho asked, bringing you a snack to your room. You weren't exactly in a position to ice everyone out after all three of them dropped everything to help you.

"The doctor said that they have to wait for the swelling to go down before they can do surgery." Felix explained. He and Ae-Cha were both in the process of moving a few of your items closer to you so you wouldn't have to walk around much.

You haven't spoken since the emergency room. If you did, you might have a panic attack. Luckily for you, Felix and Ae-Cha answered for you while you focused on keeping your breathing even.

"But she still has to move around so isn't it going to get more swollen?" Hyunjin comes into your room with an ice pack.

"Not if she rests, and she's going to rest. Min-Jun and I can just bring the recording stuff over here. And she's not to be going to work or classes for a while." Ae-Chan brings you your laptop and sets it beside you.

"Maybe we should talk about this later." Feliz says after talking a look at your face, which was paler than normal.

***

"Changbin, what the fuck?" You question, half asleep.

You woke up from an involuntary nap, the medicine and over all drama from the day wore you out. The room was dark except for your desk lap that someone put on the floor, probably so you could watch your steps. And when you woke up, Changbin was walking into your room.

"I needed to talk to you." He whispers, closing the door.

"I was asleep," You try to sit up and wince in pain.

"I see that, I'm sorry. I was going to leave once I realized."

This is great. You're physically unable to run away and Changbin, and who else you're currently not talking to, can now corner you.

“I’m still not talking to you so please leave me alone.” You grab your phone to check the time. Pain was kicking back in and you needed to know if it was time to take another pill. Unfortunately, it was still too early.

“I’m not here to apologize. I don’t deserve your forgiveness.” He slowly walks closer to your bed.

“They why are you here?” You lean back into your pillow, annoyed by both the situation and your leg pain. Felix and Ae-Cha both must be out, there’s no other explanation as to why Changbin would even be able to step foot into your apartment.

“You need to forgive Felix and Hyunjin.”

“I need to?” You prop yourself on your elbows to look at Changbin.

“Just give me 5 minutes to explain and then I promise to leave you alone forever.” He begs.

“Are you serious right? Like are you joking?” You scoff at his boldness.

“Well if you didn’t block me and avoid me this could have been avoided!”

“Do not yell at me asshole. You don’t get to me mad at me. I blocked you and avoid you because you were manipulating me for a game. And if you don’t understand that then you’re dumber than I thought.”

“Fine, I’ll leave. But before I do—”

“No!”

“It’s my fault. Felix caught on quick but I kept telling him that there was no bet going on and he chose to believe me—”

“Doesn’t matter—”

“And Hyunjin wanted to end the bet sooner but I convinced him to stay in it.”

“Changbin, I truly, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, do not give a fuck. That stupid bet is the least of my concerns right now since my entire life is falling apart. So will you get out of my apartment before I start screaming and the neighbors call the police?” You snap.

Changbin stares at you for a second before he quietly leaves the room defeated. You wait a few minutes, making sure he’s actually left, before you grab your crutches and head out of your room to get a new ice pack.

Hyunjin is sitting on the floor in from the coffee table attempting to work on his art final, the cast on his wrist making it a difficult task. His brows are furrowed and his tongue is sticking out out in concentration. Both your heart aches and your blood boils at the sight of him.

“Figures,” you mutter under your breath. No wonder Changbin got in easily. You walk past Hyunjin and go straight to the kitchen. You shove the old ice pack in the freezer and grab a new one. You grab a a strawberry milk and pepero and shove them in your pocket before walking back to your room.

“Y/n, wake up. You need to take your medicine.” Felix’s deep voice whispers in your ear, effectively waking you up.

You rub your eyes and pull your phone out. It's 5 o'clock, you're supposed to be teaching class right now. The pain in your leg brought you back to the reality that, that won't be happening for a while.

"Thanks," You mumble, taking the pills and juice from Felix.

"Minho's taking over your classes for the rest of the week. He said that if you want to go back he'll help you with demos. Ae-Cha and I cleaned up a bit so you can move around easily. Hyunjin talked to your professor about your group performance already, you just have to email your other professors. I'll help you with that if you want. And--"

"Lix, please, just stop. You're stressing me out." You sigh before taking the pills and swallowing them. Felix stops and stares at you with a soft smile. Its so small, you almost miss it.

"What?" You ask, setting the cup down beside you.

"You haven't called me Lix in like two weeks. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside." He says softly. Your heart pangs in guilt.

Truth being told, you felt bad for being mad at Felix. And Changbin trying to get you to forgive Felix earlier didn't help. It wasn't completely to blame for everything, he wasn't one of the ones who started the bets. He only suspected, he couldn't have gone to you without all of the information. You were just angry with all of your other friends and took it out on him.

"Sorry," You murmer.

"Don't apologize, it was nice." He hands you a plate that was sitting beside him with a burger.

"No, not for calling you Lix. I'm sorry for lashing out at you. You didn't deserve that. I didn't mean it. I don't want to be nothing. You're my best friend--no, actually, you're my brother." You look up at him, tears in your eyes. Felix doesn't hesitate to throw his arms around you.

"Don't be sorry. You were betrayed by several of your friends, I wouldn't have trusted me either if I'm being completely honest. And anyway, you may have stopped being my friend, but I never stopped being yours." Felix places a his on your head and holds you tight so you wouldn't see him crying.

"B-but,"

"Shut up. I was never going anywhere. I was going to give you your space, but I was never going to leave you completely. I could never do that." He squeezes you tighter before letting you go.

"I love you, Lix." You wipe the tears from his cheeks with your thumb.

"I love you too, Y/n."

"Oh shit," thinking back to the time, you pull your phone out, "I need to tell my boss I'm not coming in tonight."

"Didn't you hear me earlier? Minho hyung has that covered." He finished wiping the rest of his tears off of his face.

"My other boss."

"President Park? You had a meeting with him today?"

"No, my other, other boss. Bosses really."

"How many bosses do you have?"

"I got two more part-time jobs." You finish sending off and put your phone back down.

"Why? Aren't you getting a stipend from JYPE?"

"I'm going to move out, Lix. I can't live here anymore." You finally take a bit of the burger Felix gave you.

"What, why?" Felix jumps up, moving the bed. You wince in pain at the sudden movement. "Sorry,"

"No, it's fine. Anyway, I can't live here anymore. It hurts too much." You take another bite, not because you wanted to but because you knew that if you didn't eat, the medicine was going to make you feel like shit later.

"Is... is this about Hyunjin?" Your heart drops at the mention of his name.

"I tried, I really did but seeing him fills me with so much hatred. And it makes my heart hurt because that feeling used to be so...different." Felix carefully climbs over your leg and wedges himself between you and the wall, draping his right arm around you. Just like how it used to be.

"Are...you in love with him?" He asks, drawing small shapes on your shoulder with his right hand.

"No! No, not now at least. But I think I was at one point maybe. And now, all I can think about how everything he did and said was just to fuck with me. I hate him and I don't want to be around him anymore."

"He'll move out if we ask him, you know he will. He already offered. Or we can move out together."

"It's fine, Lix. I wanted to live alone anyway. But I'm not going to be able to leave for a while anyway. Hell, I'm probably not going to be able to afford living here soon."

"What do you mean?"

"Felix, I tore my ACL. Recovery for that is at least 6 months. That's at least 6 months where I'm not working. On top of that, I'm not going to be able to dance and my scholarship depends on that. I was getting a little bit from my scholarship for living expenses. And if I lose my scholarship I'm going to have to drop out because there is no way in hell I can afford tuition. And if I drop out, I'm either taken out of Cerberus or we're dropped as a group because it violates out contract and--"

"Y/n, breathe," Felix moves his hand to your back and starts rubbing

"Sorry," You breathe.

"You're feeling a lot of big feelings today, huh?" He coos.

"I just need today to finish before something else happens at this point."

Almost like the universe heard you, your phone started ringing. You sighly curse yourself for speaking too soon. You look at the phone number, only vaguely recognize the area code as a Korean one. You answer the phone, assuming it's someone from the company trying to get in contact with you.

"Hello?" You answer as politely as possible, the pain still irritating you and the sudden call is not helping.

"Y/n?" The familiar voice causes your blood to freeze.

"Mom?"

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

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