#efnisien was going to be like quite badly sexually assaulted

[not-poignant]

Sorry if you’ve already been asked this, but when did you know you wanted to tell Efnisien’s story through FFS? What motivated you to show his redemption journey?

Hi hi anon!

Honestly I started thinking about it during the chapter where Efnisien gives the USB to Augus, and Gwyn tries to kill him, and he's just laughing-crying, while knowing that he's going to be murdered in cold-blood by Crielle as a result.

And then I just...spent about 8 months trying not to think about it, because I was certain everyone would hate the story. And then one day I started making a playlist, and then started thinking about it a bit more seriously, and decided 'fuck it' because the idea of Efnisien living a barren, empty life in Hillview, dependent on Gwyn, after his sacrifice, just didn't sit well with me.

I funnily enough did not start out planning on writing a redemption narrative. I knew none of his victims would forgive him for his actions, and that his therapist would never be like 'there there it's okay' about it. For a while I even wondered if Falling Falling Stars would have a bleak, semi-hopeful ending. Just like, 'well it's better than it was but it's still terrible.'

But Dr Gary's a really good therapist so, we ended up on a different track. :D

But yeah no, I wasn't motivated to write a redemption journey, honestly. I was just motivated to write Efnisien's story after Spoils, and then it became what it became. But initially, in those early chapters, it could have become a lot of different things, because I had no real conception of it except that I didn't want to write a redepemption narrative, heh.

Now I don't care that this is what it kind of became, but I do like that it's complex enough that if anyone said 'no way I'm not reading that, he's an abusive asshole' even Efnisien would calmly agree with them and respect their right to feel that way.

#asks and answers #efnisien ap wledig #falling falling stars #fae tales au #spoils of the spoiled #tbh in the original conception #efnisien was going to be like quite badly sexually assaulted #and then meet an ex-rapist #who was trying to live outside of prison #and they'd just figure it out together #and in the end i just decided that wasn't quite right #and went with the dr gary route #which led to arden #and that led to the story that FFS became #but that's actually why the title itself is a little bit bleak!! #the idea of constantly falling #came from the original conception of efnisien's story #i'm glad we didn't get something really bleak though #administrator gwyn wants this in the queue