#don't rb pls and thank

[koumeowkami]

🪐 no celestial ; kanallen

— chapter six

"Kanata was a poor little angel that heaven couldn't help. He'd always been a tough one, not trusting anyone but his little brother Nayuta, the only person that ever made him feel love. Growing up by themselves, he did everything in his power to protect his sick brother, things that dirtied his holy hands. "It's for a good cause though", he thought. But it wasn't enough, and Nayuta died soon after.

Kanata's soul was completely spent. He became unable to feel love, and adding to his dirty dealings that soon were found out, he got cast out of heaven. Fallen on Earth with his wings blackened, he felt so lost and empty he thought he could've just died.

But a random encounter with a very annoying, persistent, stupid redhead human boy would've made him discover love again."

2268 words

genre: supernatural, hurt/comfort, angst

warnings: none

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Weeks kept going by, as Kanata was slowly getting accustomed to the hectic life of the city. He was learning how things worked there, how humans worked. As he wasn't used to being around people to begin with, living with Suzaku and his friends had never seemed to be appealing to him: actually, it felt absolutely atrocious in the first few days. They were noisy, annoying, and the redhead's friends were constantly nagging the boy to do the dishes, clean his room and stuff like that; although he absolutely hated them for never being quiet, he had to agree his current roommate's bedroom was a literal mess, as there were clothes and records scattered everywhere and his bed was never tidied up, the redhead always in front of that glowing screen making music.

Sometimes he also joined him, creating his own pieces of art coming from his broken heart, thinking that could've helped him ease the pain, at least a little bit. He still thought he deserved to die, but that boy was preventing him to do that without even realizing it: Kanata didn't understand why he wanted to take care of him so bad, always trying to look through him with those red eyes burning with passion, with life. The angel just thought he pitied him like everyone else would and he hated it, but still... his heart was getting warmer and warmer each day, to the point it hurt, beating so loud in his chest that he could hear it in his own ears; he always had to put his hand on it to shut it up.

Thankfully, the trio wasn't always home, as they were busy with their studies and their Hip-hop career: whenever one of those days came, Kanata would just spend his time chilling on the bed, looking at the ceiling and reminiscing about good memories with Nayuta; when the thoughts would start getting grim, he'd just compose music by himself, letting himself and his unspoken words free through the notes. He never really thought about going out, almost considering that apartment like some safe haven, and they wouldn't let him go take a walk by himself anyways, since he didn't know where to go.

Until one afternoon.

Kanata really thought he needed some fresh air, being the little stray cat he was: he felt safe in there, but suffocated. Those humans probably underestimated him, who had wandered through the streets ever since he was small. He put his sneakers on and left with soft steps.

The streets weren't particularly crowded there, as it was mostly a residential area with just a few convenience stores here and there. He sighed softly, enjoying the breeze and silence under the setting sun, while sipping on a cheap drink he had bought with the pocket money the trio gave him. He had said multiple times he didn't want that, already grateful enough they gave him a roof to live under, but they were just too stubborn and handed him some anyways. Just in case.

"Ugh, these rich snots... they just keep treating me like a kid" he said to himself, while crushing the can with his hand.

He walked around for a while, until he stopped by an almost empty square, finding it the perfect place to rest before going home. He noticed a group of boys not too far from him hanging out but he didn't care about them, sitting on the opposite side and closing his eyes to enjoy the quietude.

Only for a while.

"Hey, little bastard over there! Ya hear me?"

Fucking hell. He knew something was going to go wrong. He just opened one eye, looking towards the little gang with no interest whatsoever for a mere second, then closing it again.

"What, are you deaf?! I'm talkin' to you!" Kanata felt one of the guys, probably the leader, coming towards him. He sighed, already pissed off that someone was bothering him on such a nice day. He fully turned to him, looking at him straight in the eye while still sitting: "What."

The thugs laughed upon that question, trying to intimidate him. "Don't ya know this is our place? You're not invited. Get the fuck outta here" the leader spoke again, acting all high and mighty. The way they were trying to scare him away was annoying Kanata so much. They had no idea what they were getting themselves into, but he still did his best to keep his calm and avoid sending them flying. It wasn't worth it.

"Tsk... annoyin'."

Rolling his eyes, he got up. He wasn't planning to back off, having gotten himself into these kinds of situations many times before, in Heaven. He wasn't scared of them at all, no matter how tall and big they were.

"Ya wanna get your pretty face smashed?" the leader snickers, cracking his knuckles, "You're gonna get really hurt... weakling."

That single word grinded Kanata's gears, as he remembered all the abuse, all the pain he and his brother had received during their childhood from those shitty adults who only cared about showing them who was more powerful between them. "Don't you... fuckin' call me that..." he eyed the gang with an icy cold stare, growling and slowly making a fist, ready to punch that fucker. He was trying so hard to keep his anger at bay, but he felt his sanity go away more and more. His mind told him to stop, but his heart... his heart only saw red.

"Aw, Shortie is gonna cry! So cute!" the gang said, mocking him. They got closer and closer, eventually enclosing themselves around him. This was too much. Kanata suddenly felt something rising from deep inside of him, a weird energy fueling his feelings. He was so close to snapping, when his demeanor suddenly changed.

"Y'all better not want to fuck with me."

A voice octaves lower than his usual left his mouth, his once moonlight and galaxy colored hair and eyes were completely black, and a shadow of his black wings was visible on the ground. He had no idea what was going on but he didn't stop, he couldn't resist that. The snake had spilled its venom right into his veins and it felt so damn good.

The thugs immediately backed out as their faces turned pale from the panic. They ran away, muffled curses and screaming heard in the background. By the time the sun was entirely set, Kanata was back to normal, panting hard. He wanted to make sense of what came over him, but he couldn't think at all: he was feeling exhausted and his head was spinning, his body feeling almost feverish. He fainted, falling on the ground of that now deserted square.

"Aaah, I finally got it! This limited edition record was so hard to find!!" Allen was excitedly running down the streets, over the moon after yet another too pricey purchase. He was probably being a bit too hyper about it and people were definitely side-eyeing him but he didn't care, as he hugged the vinyl close to his chest. "Anne and Hajun are getting home later today, so I'll be listening to it with Kanata... I'm so excited about it! He's gonna love it!" he said, immediately smiling at the thought. He was a tough and unfriendly guy, but Allen was so happy to see him getting more and more passionate about Hip-hop every day: he knew about the healing powers of music, and Kanata did seem more peaceful when making music, or simply listening to it. He was glad he could help that boy, even if he still didn't know what happened to him to get to that point; Allen really wanted to know, but he'd be waiting for the other to speak up. He was doing his best to turn into a reliable and trustworthy friend for him, simply showing him that he was ready to listen.

Too immersed into his own thoughts, he didn't realize he took a different route, ending up in a place so emptied of people that almost looked abandoned. He looked around for a bit, trying to recognize where he was, until he saw a familiar boy laying on the ground slightly far from him. White long locks and a snake decorated jacket. He dropped his bag.

"Kanata!!"

Panting, Allen finally reached their apartment with the boy in his arms. He had already checked if his heart was beating, but he just couldn't calm down: he wondered what happened, for how long he'd been laying there like that. He carefully placed him on the couch and took a chair to sit next to him. He couldn't leave him alone, his mind occupied by any possible bad thought about this entire situation. He touched Kanata's forehead and it was burning hot, compared to how cold his body is usually. "Does he have a fever...?" he mumbled, preparing a wet cloth to place there and then he just sat, waiting.

Anxiety was devouring him more each second that passed, until he saw the boy's body trembling. He tossed and turned, groaning in pain. Allen was getting even more worried when he noticed a weird dark glow around Kanata, who was now blabbering frantically.

"I wish... I could be as pure as you were..."

The redhead rubbed his eyes, wondering if this was real, but he was left even more confused when he came to the conclusion that it was really happening. He didn't move one inch from there, though. He wasn't afraid of him.

"Who are you, Kanata...?"

With a gasp, Kanata opened his eyes again, seemingly back to normal. He immediately sat, scanning his surroundings and finding the other boy giving him a small, reassuring smile, although at the same time he looked like he really wanted, no, needed answers. He couldn't even look at him anymore, as a part of him felt guilty for not telling him sooner. What was he even going to say, now? Suzaku was a mere human. He would've never accepted that he was a celestial creature, right? He looked at his lap in thought, still avoiding those fire colored eyes.

"I'm not gonna ask what happened" the other guy started, his voice soft, "but just know that I'm here and I'm ready to listen to you, your story... anything."

Kanata felt horrible. He really had to come clean, no matter the outcome; he knew he'd be back to being alone in the streets right after this conversation, but he thought he couldn't lie to the redhead. He'd been too good to the angel. Maybe it was for the better, he pondered: after that, he'd finally be able to die as he originally had planned. So he took a deep breath, turning to the guy, looking at him straight in the eye.

"I... I'm a fallen angel."

Black wings appeared behind him, big and majestic. Suzaku was shocked, but still stood there, not looking intimidated at all. Instead, he got closer to him, looking at him in adoration.

"You're so pretty..." the redhead whispered to him, and Kanata felt his stare falter, dropping his gaze somewhere else as he blushed. The wings disappeared. His heart was a mess, again feeling like a bomb about to explode. That guy always managed to make things more complicated, as Kanata kept feeling things in his chest that both hurt and made him feel good.

"You... you should be scared of me..." the angel said, getting up from the couch and moving away from him to try to hide himself from the other boy, "I'm not some stupid human! How can you act like this is okay?!"

He saw Suzaku looking at him with a soft gaze as he smiled, "Man, this sure is new to me" he said as he also got up and reached the angel, "But I'm not afraid of you... I know you're not evil so I don't have to worry."

"You're unbelievably foolish." Kanata replied, astounded by how stupid and accepting the other was. He knew at this point he couldn't do anything to intimidate that guy anymore, as he really had no ill intentions after all. He just audibly sighed.

"I'm fallen, ya hear me? I can fuck you up."

"I'll keep that in mind, then."

The guy let out an awkward laugh, scratching the back of his head. And then, he suddenly got serious, looking at Kanata with a worried expression.

"Um, Kanata..." he took a breath before continuing, "Back when you were dreaming, it seemed like... you were in an unimaginable amount of pain. The same pain I felt in the first song you made. I wonder if I can help you..."

"There's nothin' a human like you can fix." Kanata stopped him, not wanting to hear a single word more. He knew that warmth spreading in his chest when he was with the redhead was only temporary. That boy couldn't fix such a damaged heart.

The other muttered a "I'm sorry" before going back to his usual self. But before Suzaku was able to speak again, a black smoke with hints of orange appeared in a dark corner of the living room, floating. As the two boys turned around, a voice crept in.

"Oh boy, what kinda mess are you causin' over here?~"

Kanata's eyes widened. He knew that voice too well. That demon had been helping the twins a long time ago, he didn't really think he would get to hear nor see him ever again.

"Suiseki-san... what are you doing here?"

#🪐; no celestial #paradox live #paralive #kanallen #allenkana #allen sugasano #kanata yatonokami #paradox live fanfiction #it's been 84 years ...... i'm finally back !! #it's shocking revelations time (that don't have an explanation yet but. soon) #i hope you guys enjoy and pls lmk your thoughts with rbs and asks 💜 thank you for waiting hehe #(gonna publish this on ao3 asap i prommy)

[roger-paladino]

Putting a selfie under a cut bc I'm anxious

but yeah my fashion sense is literally the same as rogers in the previous rb it makes me go crazy insane if I could cut my hair a bit shorter I'd be real

#pls don't rb im gonna delete this post in a bit lmao thank you #anyway yeah I was changing my server icon and was like OUA!!!! ME!! #anyways <3 #also my hair is gonna be blue again soon I just haven't gotten around to bleaching it bc im lazy #also face reveal ig?

[harrylights]

gender euphoria for future references under the cut now that the dash is dead <3

#pls don't rb <3 this is just for: #future rowyn #for when i get sad about gender again #gender #forehead shinier than the damn moon thanks to my post-shower face mask but today felt good <333 #why does looking like a douchebag feel so weirdly affirming tho like.......... ok

[mcr-and-coffee]

yeah Felix is up in the club drinking his fruity little Smirnoff ice and i bet it's cuz he CAN'T shoot a whiskey

#thank u Carrie Underwood #don't get me wrong like he does shots and stuff #but he'd Rather sip on some fruity little drink #obvious reasons aside #.txt #rb and validate me #PLS #saltburn

[jackexmachina]

#not gonna guilt anyone but I really would love to know what actually works best for people who use this feature #so pls rb if you don't mind! thanks! #*mine #polls

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

im gonna make this 10 times easier on myself and just ask yall to comment on/rb (likes DONT COUNT) this post if youre okay with me drawing and posting your mc (with credit ofc ofc and i will usually send you a pic first to check for accuracy)

also this is ONLY for followers

#pls and thank you #my art #open heart #open heart mc #open heart choices #ALSO TO CLARIFY FOR YALL MFS WHO DONT GET IT #this is by no means an offer or obligation for me #if you comment/rb this and i don't draw your mc you have no right to be upset with me #i dont owe you shit and if i don't want to draw them i don't have to #(i really don't think this will be a problem but i gotta say it for my own sake :')

[miraclewoozi]

#polls. #not convinced this will change the plan i have rn but i just wanna gauge smth #feel free to rb for sample size but idm if u dont <3 #my fear with the long oneshot is that it's currently proving to be a structural nightmare with time skips + stuff. and on that #basis alone i'm inching towards shorter chapters + a masterlist. HOWEVER. #i also don't love the idea of posting a bunch of short parts. idk if people enjoy that sort of thing. #pls let me know any more detailed thoughts in my inbox or as a reply/rb tag <3 #thank u <3

[sapsolace]

some older personal sketches

[don't rb]

#one day i will feel compelled to paint/color a Feelings Oriented piece #but these sketches are nice #sap scribbles #pls don't rb thanks ily #putting these here for myself

[quickhacked]

vitali and his anger

#oc:vitali #personal #pls don't tag as your own oc if u rb vito is very important to me thank u <3 #pulled these from the last chapter and a tarot quiz i did for him like. months ago HHH #it's insane how well it all fits together. i need to chew on glass #holding him gently in my arms next chapter is gonna be so much for him

[idolbound]

“Magic is a cancer in the heart of our land, just as it was in the time of Andraste.                   And like her, we are left with no choice but to purify it with fire and blood.” 

#MY EDITS. #AESTHETIC. #FACECLAIM. #[ man i thought about the quote where Orsino asks her when she'll stop seeing evil in every corner and she says when it's no longer there] #[ she has so many good quotes ] #[ anyway please take my procrasti-edit with Uma ] #[ don't rb pls thanks ]

[starsonmarsy]

stealing a mutual's idea of exposing my weaknesses shfhgb

so obviously i have my likes and limits on my pinned post but . they're vague and not really detailed so why not expand upon some of them and add some.

this is a terrible idea because i'm giving all my switchy friends ammo to use against me!! but that just means i'll have to get better at resistance. which is definitely possible because i'm most certainly not extremely easy haha...

disclaimer: yes! i do let people, anon or not, hypnotize me through asks, and maybe dms if discussed beforehand. however, that still requires respecting my limits. i'm all down for being a little hypnotoy you can take for a joy ride, but i am still a person. there hasn't been problems so far (knock on wood) but i'm saying it anyways just in case.

okay, now the fun stuff below the cut:

fractionation - pretty self explanatory. if you start rapid fire fractionating me, my brain becomes mush. particularly effective with the words up/down and drop/wake. on that same note ...

rapid fire/trigger spam - okay so trigger spamming is silly sometimes because it reminds me of like. a starter tist you'd find on reddit or something that just spams the word sleep at you hoping it'll work. but when used tastefully? holy fuck. not giving me the time to recover/think about it is your best shot at getting me down

resistance/bratting - these themselves aren't weaknesses but they're likes that have weakness within them. if you can eventually convince me that i want to drop and obey more than i want to resist and win, then you'll get me. this isn't as easy as you think, because i am quite stubborn, competitive, and i like winning.

being sleepy - this doesn't even really need explanation, but i am very easy when tired. but i mean tired tired, because i'm tired 24/7 anyway lol. but catching me after waking up either in the morning or from a nap makes it harder for me to fight. that and if i'm straight up just sleep deprived, like i only got 2 hours or i've been up for 16+ hours, i'm even easier.

instant inductions/unexpected triggers - this ties into the same reasoning for rapid fire—not giving me time. i will most likely drop and then wake myself up, so you have those few seconds of vulnerability before i recover to do something.

covert/conversational inductions - also relatively explanatory. for covert in particular, if i don't notice that you're trancing me then i won't know that i'm being entranced. and i can't fight against something i don't notice. for conversational, i will definitely notice at some point. it's just dependent on how early i notice to be able to fight it off.

whatever the fuck you call what this ask was - i'm bad at words so i don't know what to identify this as but this? holy fuck. this just slides into my brain so easily dhfjfj. 💖 you didn't see this

"____ for me" - i made this a post and it blew up for no reason dhfhg. i am way more likely to obey a command if you throw a for me on there.

praise - i'm very easily flustered so lots of praise gets me into a very blushy, shy, keysmashing state, which could be used to make me fuzzy.

dumbification - making me feel all dumb gets me so easy. calling me dumb, dummy, or a ditz or trying to get me to giggle makes me just fhfhtjg

confusion - it is not hard to confuse me like . at all. literally just throw some "if you're thinking about not thinking then are you thinking?" or "forget to remember, remember to forget" or make up = down and down = up n i'm all yours.

amnesia - if i'm fuzzy and you tell me to forget about something then there's a good chance of it working. especially when it's slipped in casually, like "oh, nevermind, forget i said anything" and i'll have a moment of like wha-? where my mind decides whether or not to do it. some reassurance, like "that's right, you can just forget" or "don't worry about it" will probably work.

"must _____" - a command preceeded by must (only must, not you must) is extremely compelling to me and hard to resist.

cock - i'm not expanding on this, you know who you are shfhrhfurhf

mantras/repetition - if you give me a mantra that's gonna be stuck in my head for a while. or making me repeat something, or asking questions that have the same single answer

trance recall - if you make me think of a trance i've recently been in, i get all fuzzy and my eyes flutter as if i'm feeling the same thing again.

post-trance fuzziness - in switch fights, if i didn't lose then i'm definitely fuzzy as fuck and a bit fractionated. if you pretend it's over and then catch me by surprise, that might secure you a last ditch victory.

anyways, i will probably update this if i think of more but. yeah i just made resisting 100x harder for myself dhfh

#i am going to. regret this #dhfjfj #no rb #<- pls don't reblog thanks 🙏 #i'm just giving a fuck load of ammo for free #tbf a lot of these are Known/Obvious but . #shfhgjgj #mars.txt

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

☆

#i... #really want to get a tattoo #but it's like. a fandom thing that I've taken to heart. so idk how that would go over with my parents #like I've been thinking about this for MONTHS it isn't just an impulse #and it would be in a place that's easy to hide for like. professional settings and such #but still #I'm a whole actual adult and I'm too self-conscious to bring this up to my parents as a serious concept #they know i commisioned art for it. they just don't know I'm actually dead serious about it #anyway #having a rough weekend prayers would be appreciated #gonna loudly listen to music for a bit and then go watch a tv show before bed :) #pls feel welcome to reply i feel like talking through this stuff would be great just don't rb thanks

[richarlisonny]

also hehe happy valentine's day to u from irl gormlaith fit of the day

#pls don't rb thank u 💖💖💖 #i'm love u!!!!

[all-fleshed-out]

POV: Blanche PKMN GO is regretting her decisions 

#MUNS ART; #Don't rb unless frostspoken #pls and thank u

[weptpride]

the masked empire crew - ft. @weptlore & @wepthonor

#don't rb unless i've tagged you pls and thanks #reflection | i have been the hunter; i have been the prey #celene valmont | protect her and she'll consume you‚ burning because she can #michel tbt. #felassan tbt. #< bc i have to remake his #edit: updated bc fel and hulwen didn’t look Right

[allthepresidentsmen1976]

ok so my Thoughts on gender in the arts: i have a lil bit of experience working in casting and find it really interesting because it is the ONE field i can think of in film that i can genuinely describe as female-dominated. and since i started doing it i paid attention to the casting directors on movie credits and it's women 99% of the time. BUT. i think the reasons for this still might stem from sexism... bc like i was thinking "why is this the case?" and i think maybe it's something similar to why siri and alexa and whatnot all have """female""" voices. it's because it is presumed to indicate a nurturing gentle figure. like maybe a female casting director seems more non-threatening. idk it's complicated because i probably WOULD be threatened by a male casting director (last thing i want is to get more film industry men in rooms with vulnerable young actresses) but i find it very interesting contemplating why casting is one of the few film fields where women dominate. haven't come to a firm answer abt this but just wanted to dump my thoughts <3

i definitely think that your idea about women being seen as "nurturing" seems to have a lot to do with it. i didn't actually know that about casting directors, so thank you so much!!! that's such an interesting thing to like.... think about and consider. and yeah, i'd probably come to a similar conclusion in that it's those "feminine" qualities that people want in a casting director y'know? and RIGHT yeah exactly like i imagine it Would be threatening to have a male casting director, or at least more so than a woman bc god knows so many men in the film industry haven't been good to anyone. so like on the one hand, they're right, but on the other.........

this article 'the gendering of film and television casting' talks about how women might've come to dominate this field and a lot of it is those feminine traits but some of it is also the fact that women were doing so much clerical work before the studio system shut down and how That played into it. and this article 'women's work: female casting directors dominate hollywood, despite the entertainment industry's old boys' club reputation' talks about how it's potentially bc generally people get into the job through apprenticeships which men are less likely to want to do. both interesting ways to consider it

i think that ultimately it Does boil down to sexism still which uhhh sucks. and like obviously i don't have a definite answer bc that'd be crazy but it's an interesting thing to think about. i am for sure going to be paying more attention to it now bc it wasn't something i had noticed before !!!

#i hope u don't mind me answering this publicly!!! if you do pls lmk and i'll send all this to u privately and delete this #everyone else pls don't rb thank u <3 #joey tag #a