#don’t quote me on that shi bruh

[dousytiva]

Dousy Family Headcanons and Incorrect Quotes brought to you by Sousa Cult 2.0 🤠

1) Sousa urges the kids to use a wide vocabulary because he's ✨old✨

Dousy kids: Ya'll'd've-

Sousa: I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND-

-

Dousy Kids: Bruh why'd ya'll do that

Sousa:

Sousa: You are no longer in my will.

2) The Dousy fam and cursing

Daisy complaining about a mission: And the shit head had the audacity-

Dousy kid: Who's shi-thead?

-

Dousy kids: SHIT!

Sousa: Language!

Daisy: Did you just say... language?

Sousa: It just slipped out...

-

Dousy kids: Shi-

Daisy: Com'on kids you know your father does not tolerate that damn shit in this motherfucking house.

Sousa: I-

-

Dousy kids: Shit!

Sousa, after being around Daisy for too long: WE DO NOT CURSE IN THIS GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE... shit.

3) Dousy attempting to explain where babies come from

Dousy kids: Where do babies come from?

Daisy: Well-

Sousa: OHHHHKAY let's let daddy explain this one

Sousa while trying not do his signature *fazed* face: Okay, so kids, an angel comes and plants a baby in mommy's tummy. That's where babies come from :)

Dousy kids: I thought it was storks...

-

Sousa telling Dousy kid they're about to have a sibling: So there's a baby in mommy's tummy :)

Dousy kid: SHE ATE THE BABY!?!?!?

Daisy: Yes, and I'll eat you too if you don't eat all your vegetables.

Dousy kid: *quickly shovels down broccoli*

-

Daisy: We need to tell them about the birds and the bees.

Sousa to the Dousy kids: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

4) "Daddy" 💀💀💀

Dousy kid: A kid at school laughed at me today for calling you my daddy.

Sousa: And why would they do that?

Daisy: *whispers what it means to Sousa*

Sousa:

Sousa: Call me Dad, Papa, or Father from now on or else😐😐

5) The crazy shield parts

Dousy kids: Dad, tell us more about your childhood!

Sousa: Well around the time of WWI-

Daisy: Dad actually doesn't remember his childhood. He has... amnesia.

-

Dousy kids: Why are our only grandparents Coulson and May?

Sousa, scrambling to find an answer: Well, uh you see... uhhhhhhh some boys like girls and some girls like boys but other boys like boys and some girls also like girls-

6) Dousy Kids and Philinda Grandparents

Dousy: So we’re having a kid

Everyone: Congrats both of you, who would’ve thought the man out of time and quake would make such a great couple.

*later dousy talking to philinda*

Daisy: we want you to be the grandparents cause daniel’s parents are unfortunately not alive anymore

Phil: daisy, i- i don’t know what to say

May: STOP MAKING ME CRY

-

Dousy kids meeting Philinda: Hello MeeMaw

May:

May: ME- WHAT NOW!?

7) Bonus

Dousy kid, wearing a flowerpot on their head: Mom look I'm a pothead!

#Dousy kids are named Jordan Phillip Johnson-Sousa and Anne May Johnson-Sousa 🤠🤠 #agents of shield #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d. #daisy johnson #daniel sousa #dousy #daisysousa #incorrect agents of shield quotes #agents of s.w.o.r.d. #incorrect agents of shield #agents of shield incorrect quotes #incorrect aos #aos incorrect quotes #marvel headcanons #agents of shield headcanons #aos headcanons #aos crack #dousy family #instagram #phil coulson #melinda may #philinda