#does feel like a sin the cut most of copia off but so it goes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ask-the-clergy-bc · 5 years

Note

TW: intimate partner violence || How do you think Copia and the Papas would react to finding out that an s/o’s previous partner was very abusive? (I just left one in September.) They aren’t patient with themselves. They hate themselves for jumping or flinching when he moves too quickly or raises his voice. They don’t talk about the scars. They try to repress it all, but it comes bubbling out it moments of weakness— how they were hurt by someone they trusted and loved.

Good for you, I’m very proud of you for getting out of a situation that is toxic and bad for you! If you or anyone you know is in a situation like this, know that are resources and support! Don’t ever for a second believe you deserve abuse. You deserve to be happy and no one has the right to put their hands or you or belittle you. Be safe lovelies!

Aaaaaaand may or may not have went a little overboard with this. ^^’ Everything under cut!

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Abuse and Trauma

Papa Nihil: Papa knew something was wrong by the way you apologized too much. But it really dawned on him when you did something as simple as knock over his water glass. Papa hadn’t minded- he constantly does it or drop’s it because of his bad wrists and eye sight. But when he noticed you had tears streaming down your face, worry started to gnaw on his gut. When you ended up having a full blown panic attack, he had you in a quiet space with him. After a while of calming you down, petting your hair, rubbing your back, and talking gently to you- you finally told him. Papa kept a stoic face as you told him about your abusive ex-lover. At first you thought, by how quiet he was, that he was going to leave you. That he was going to say you deserve it, and no wonder you couldn’t do anything right. But he didn’t. Papa took your chin between his thumb and finger and looked deep into your eyes with his own hazy ones. He got close and told you in no uncertain words that you will NEVER be subjected to that as long as you were under his roof in his church. Most importantly, he will never treat you like that and you can ALWAYS come to him. After which he would hold you close as you got more of the hurt out of your system with sobs. Papa loves you and will work with you every day to over come this.

Papa I: It was honestly one of the first things he noticed about you when you became more intimate. Papa had picked up all of the subtle hints. How you winced and were unconfrontational- even with something as simple as trying to reach past someone for a book. How you hung your head in front of authority figures. Most importantly, how noises scared you. The one time he dropped a stack of books and made a loud crash had you shaking, Papa knew he had to ask. He was rather blunt when you were alone, but he had to know. Your behavior wasn’t normal. Papa holds your shoulders and point blank asks you if you need to talk, because he’s been noticing you’ve been acting scared. You can’t help it, how sincere and serious he sounds- you break in his arms. But it was one of the best things you could have done. You find Papa is an amazing and patient lover. He makes sure you take healing at your own pace and gently coaxes you out the unhealthy headspace your abuser has put you in. Whether its reassuring you, letting you talk and vent, or telling you how much he loves and values you. He’s there for you. As well as open up his private meditation for the dark one with you, should you like. But that’s just because he has found strength through devotion, and wants you to find something similar.

Papa II: Papa had accidentally triggered you when he raised his voice. It wasn’t directed at you but you had been in the same room. He had been outraged at some bad news plaguing the ministry and was raising his voice out of frustration. But when he saw you cowering he immediately stopped. Very few things shake this man, but seeing you back away from him in terror absolutely destroyed him on the inside. Papa was so utterly confused, and at first tries to explain he’s not mad at you but he was just venting. When that doesn’t calm you down, his brow furrows and he knows something is wrong. It practically takes all night to finally get you to calm down enough to talk to him. When you try to brush it away, you find he won’t relent. He presses, not taking no for an answer. Eventually, you break and let him know how it reminds you of your EX. You can feel him seething the more you say, but he immediately takes your hand in his. Papa reassures you that no man will ever lay a finger on you again, and he will protect you with his life. You are shocked because Papa NEVER gets this emotionally deep with you. You find that he tries to get you help and to support you. He’s also more mindful of not bursting out in anger as much when things go wrong…. also, just don’t be surprised if your ex goes missing.

Papa III: He had known you were always tough on yourself, but he didn’t find it terribly bad. He just thought you were more of a perfectionist, and Papa admired that you just wanted to be your best self. But the day you tried leaving him had him floored. You were trying to gather your clothes from your shared closet when he took you by the shoulders, begging you to talk to him. This was so out of left field!! You tried to convince him that he was better off without you. That you weren’t good enough- not pretty, not the best figure, not the funniest, not anything. You said there were so many children of sin that could make him much happier, and ones that weren’t screw ups like you. Papa was so taken aback, and didn’t know what to say. When telling you that you were wrong didn’t help, he had to think… then it hit him. Once, in passing, you had mentioned people used to make you feel bad about yourself. Papa poked you with more questions until eventually it got to you. You broke down in the bedroom and just let everything pour out. He held you close to him on the floor of the closet, surrounded by your clothes as you were coming down from hysterics. And there you both stayed, with you finally telling him; you feel like he could do better because that’s how you’ve been made to feel. And your ex made you believe it. It had to be true, or why would they abuse you? Papa kisses your tears away and you’ve never seen him so serious. He tells you none of that is true, and if it was up to him, your ex would rot for eternity for making you believe such things. You both take it one day at a time, but he’s always there to remind you how he loves you.

Cardinal Copia: Copia is a man you can’t keep things from no matter how hard you try. He saw your old scars, and he knew what they were- defense wounds. There was no way they could be self inflicted. Especially if they are by your head or back. He keeps a close eye on you after that and picks up every subtle sign you make. It only took him lifting his arm once around you to confirm his suspicions. You flinched as though he was about to strike you. Sure, Copia knew this would happen but he’s still stunned. He asks you seriously, and heartbroken for you, if you really thought he was ever going to lie a hand on you. You tried to push it aside and laugh saying it was a force of habit. But one look at Copia’s face and you knew the Cardinal wasn’t buying it. He tells you he’s worried and has noticed certain things, but won’t force you to come to him. But you can’t help it, you take him up on his offer to vent then and there. Copia listens to your entire story, not once speaking and only stopping to help wipe tears away. When you are done he tells you how brave you are and how strong you are, even if you don’t feel it. Copia assures you that whoever hurt you deserves to burn, and he will be there for you %100. He’s always there to support you get past this, no matter how long it takes.

#the band ghost #ghost bc #ghost headcanon #reader insert #trigger warning #papa nihil #papa emeritus i #papa emeritus ii #papa emeritus iii #cardinal copia

118 notes · View notes