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amerasdreams · 3 years

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I have been listening to True Spies podcast on Spotify. It’s apparently connected to a thing called Spyscape, which has a museum/experience thing in New York. They also have an online test for your personality and intelligence.... well those intelligence tests all of course have to do with math. and they are TIMED. somehow I got thru guessing most of them.... didn’t score 0 but didn’t score great.

so guess what I scored on intelligence! and personality scores mean I’m more prone to health problems and being unhappy.... :(

(here I woke up thinking I can be uniquely me, I don’t want to be like anyone else anyway, I can embrace that... but how can I when what I am is this pathetic)

I shouldn’t have done this, I know what these tests do, make me discouraged and hate myself more. they even said I’m not imaginative and creative-- things I value most besides intelligence (and intuition/empathy...)

they did say the “spy role” I was most suited for, which is what I’m most interested in, intelligence analyst. But in the more “practical” side, for jobs, it mentioned medical things, technical things, which I wouldn’t be good at and don’t like, business marketing-- working for a business I don’t care about, a job with no meaning.... it even had mathematician! when I’m obviously not good at math. the only jobs I might be interested in are psychologist/criminologist... idk.... to late for me to get any career anyway, let alone somehow what I really want

they did a risk assessment, where you blow up the balloon before it pops to get “money” - yesterday I started it and panicked when the balloon popped the first time and closed the window. then when I was walking the dogs it occured to me it was a test lol and I would just have to keep risking popping the balloon... so today I saw it as more of a game and not the ‘scary balloon popping oh no I lost money!” -not even real money. idk about fun.... all these things were stressful esp the intelligence test.

today I started the test, thinking it might help me, get insight into what I can do, instead, it discouraged me, I’m what I thought, mediocre and not suited for much, they only gave a “role” to me because they had to give me something. It said the intelligence analyst is inquisitive--when it just said I wasn’t - idk how this even fits with the test bc analytical? that wasn’t one of the dimensions and doesn’t seem like I scored high on implied analytical powers, same with determined--

how can i live with myself being like this, having no role and no future according to any dimension that really counts. don’t want to be plodding away at menial tasks when I want to do something Imaginative, Creative, Intellectual-- ha can’t even do that

oh I’m proving them right, easily stressed and sensitive and reactive --

I’m not including the risk assessment bc I don’t think it’s accurate-- I’m really very risk averse in all cases... oh we know that already so.

results (bold/parentheses is mine)

MENTAL HORSEPOWER

Unlike Alan Turing would, you scored moderately low {yay!:(} on this attribute. The result, driven by your performance in the personality tests, suggests that, on the whole, you struggle with complex mathematical and analytical problems. {so how can I be an analyst?} That said, you can usually spot patterns and find links in data – as long as the information you have been given isn’t too abstract. (I like big picture things.... abstract things... apparently I’m not good at it)

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like other people with a moderately low Mental Horsepower score, you are more likely to ‘go with your gut’ when making decisions rather than to apply logic and reason (that’s true.... logic is mystifying. fits with being INFP-- logic is my weakest point). It is unlikely that you will sit down and win a game of chess, and you probably rely on your satnav rather than read a map yourself. (yep.... chess is too much strategy... I can’t see ahead like that .. hm how could I be an analyst)

IN YOUR WORK

Because you are not a very conceptual thinker, you are better in roles where you can do things ‘automatically’ rather than applying any abstract reasoning skills. You are not bad at visual-spatial or mathematical tests though, and with training and practice, your skills will definitely improve.

THE SCIENCE

Mental Horsepower relates to our general cognitive ability and our capacity to think about, reason with, and understand abstract concepts. It particularly links to analytical and mathematical skills, but also covers memory, comprehension, language, learning capacity and judgement. These are hugely significant skills for success at work and in everyday life.

Psychologists have developed all kinds of tests to measure cognitive ability. Some of these involve predicting outcomes from patterns in data (also known as inductive reasoning), while others focus on mentally flipping and rotating images. We use both of these approaches in our Mental Horsepower tests at SPYSCAPE.

Recent neuroimaging research shows that intelligence is linked to brain patterns, and that these patterns are unique to each of us (meaning you can’t change them :( )– much like our fingerprints. In one study, these brain ‘fingerprints’ were used to successfully predict people’s scores in IQ tests.

While IQ tests are probably the most common method for determining cognitive ability, there is some debate over whether they provide a complete picture. For example, theories suggest that there are many different types of intelligence which are not accounted for in these tests. Still, it is generally accepted that people who score highly on tests of cognitive ability are on the whole better at completing intelligence-related (so that career’s out... if it was ever in lol) tasks in the real world.

COMPOSURE

Unlike Jason Bourne, you scored extremely low (low on everything! what a wonderful person!) on this attribute. The result, driven by your performance in the personality tests, suggests that you are far more vulnerable to stressors than most people (I knew that). You are likely to have a very strong emotional reaction to negative events and your brain becomes highly active when you see something you perceive as unpleasant (like this test!). Although this means you find it hard to relax, it also means you are really tuned in to your surroundings ( and what’s the upside of that? nice consolation prize....)

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like other people with extremely low levels of composure, you are highly likely to experience anxiety and burnout. (with things that aren’t really stressful to anyone else. just stepping outside. just being inside-- doing thigns like this.. doing most things actually-- help how can i live) You can be far too critical of yourself (well how do i stop? if this is how I am like), especially when you are stressed (which is almost all the time), and this can make it tricky for you to overcome problems (which is never, which is why I’m still living w my parents). You also dwell on the past far more than people with high composure.

On the positive side, you are responsive to your environment, which means you are more likely to anticipate negative outcomes and find ways to avoid them (like almost everything). You are also sensitive and caring, and your observant nature means you look out for yourself and the people close to you. (what’s the point of that when you can’t do anything, or get to know new people)

IN YOUR WORK

It is unlikely your colleagues will turn to you when there is an emergency or crisis at work. This is because you struggle to keep your emotions in check, and challenging situations can get the better of you. When this happens, you are not great at maintaining focus or making tough decisions.

THE SCIENCE

Composure relates to how our brains respond to stress. In tense situations, your brain activates an area called the hypothalamus, which releases adrenalin and cortisol – also known as stress hormones.

A bit of stress now and then is important for survival, because it alerts us to the dangers around us. Small amounts can be useful, but too much over a long period of time is bad for our health (oh goody). Studies show that the adrenal cortex, the part of the brain that releases stress hormones, is also linked to the healthy function of our immune system – and people who are more prone to stress are also more likely to get sick.

There is also a connection between composure and working (short-term) memory. Composed people perform better on tasks where they need to recall and use relevant information while they’re doing something else – for example remembering the steps of a recipe when cooking a meal.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN COMPOSURE ARE

LAID-BACK

RELAXED

COOL

FOCUSED

POISED

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN COMPOSURE ARE

EMOTIONAL

SENSITIVE

PERCEPTIVE

RESPONSIVE

VIGILANT

Contentiousness

Unlike diligent Mission: Impossible hero Isla Faust, you scored moderately low on this attribute. The result, driven by your performance in the personality tests, suggests that unlike Isla, you find it difficult to keep focused on long-term goals {Idk about this. goals are all i focus on.... well. I think about them often but Idk how to create the steps to get there and so things fizzle out and I get-- discouraged what else is new). You get distracted or bored quite quickly and are often drawn to new ideas and projects instead of finishing what you are currently doing (well.... hm. I finish novels...). You understand what is important in life, but you sometimes skip the details. (I’m not a detail person... I can be but they often seem irrelevant)

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Because you prefer not to a follow a schedule, hobbies that require regular training are not for you. In fact, your interests change quite regularly, and you find long-term commitment a challenge whatever the activity. Friends and family know that if they want you to do something, they need to encourage you to get organized. When they press you, however, you do things pretty well.

IN YOUR WORK

You take a relatively flexible approach to work. As such, you get distracted easily and do not always complete the task in hand. Because of your tendency to do this, you are likely to change jobs – and perhaps even career – fairly regularly (I want variety... Idk, this sort of fits, sort of doesn’t).

THE SCIENCE

Conscientiousness shapes how likely you are to follow rules, regulate your own behavior and get yourself organized. The more conscientious you are, the more motivated by goals and tasks you are likely to be.

According to what psychologists call the ‘Big-5’ model, conscientiousness is a core dimension of personality – and one of the five key traits that drive human behavior. Whether you are high or low in conscientiousness can help predict your success in social, academic and professional situations.

If you have high levels of conscientiousness, you are probably more productive and better at adapting to new situations (that’s true, I’m not) that come your way. However, this does not mean that being conscientious is always a good thing, because research also shows that being too conscientious can lead to overthinking. (I do that too...)

Some studies suggest that people who are more conscientious are healthier – and they might even live longer. This might be because conscientious people are more likely to exercise regularly, eat healthily, and avoid smoking or drinking too much alcohol.

It’s hard to say where conscientiousness comes from. One study found a link with areas of the brain relating to attention and cognitive control. There is also evidence to suggest that genes play their part. It’s likely that social factors such as your upbringing influence how conscientious you are, too.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN CONSCIENTIOUSNESS ARE

HIGH-ACHIEVING

ACCOUNTABLE

THOROUGH

DRIVEN

SELF-DISCIPLINED

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN CONSCIENTIOUSNESS ARE

IMPULSIVE

FLEXIBLE

EASY-GOING

SPONTANEOUS

ADAPTABLE

(I think I’m sort of this, sort of not because I’m borderline INFP -- P is flexible, impulsive while J is more structured-- I’m slightly more Perceiving. goes to show Myers-Briggs is pretty good at describing personality accurately....)

INQUISITIVENESS

Unlike Carrie Mathison in Homeland, you scored moderately low on this attribute. Your score was driven by your performance in the personality tests, and it suggests that you are pretty cautious about new ideas, beliefs, cultures and theories.

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like other people who scored moderately low on this attribute, you are not so willing to take on board other people’s views (that’s true). You will consider what people have to say, but you are likely to stick with your own opinion. You feel more comfortable in familiar situations and surroundings (well, yes...), and you do not really feel the need to explore new places (I kind of do, though... I want to but I often... don’t. because it’s too hard).

IN YOUR WORK

Because you aren’t motivated to learn or acquire new skills (Idk about this... depends on if it’s something I’m interested in. I’m learning like 15 languages on Duolingo...), you are less likely to seek out new opportunities at work. And the longer you stay in a job, the worse your motivation is likely to get. In general, you tend to perform better when you start a new position, although you will carry this out using the same approach you always have, rather than approach it in a new way. You like real-world, practical work that has straightforward solutions.

THE SCIENCE

Inquisitiveness is an important trait for discovering new things and building a better understanding of people and of the world around us. Psychologists have developed tools for assessing and measuring how inquisitive a person is.

These are based on extensive research into personality and are designed to evaluate five facets related to inquisitiveness: (i) intellectual curiosity; (ii) aesthetic sensitivity; (iii) active imagination; (iv) attentiveness to inner feelings and; (v) preference for variety.

Furthermore, personality researchers have identified two types of inquisitiveness; ‘epistemic’, which refers to information seeking ( I think I’m more information seeking?) behaviour and ‘perceptual’, which refers to experience seeking.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN INQUISITIVENESS ARE

CURIOUS

OPEN-MINDED

IMAGINATIVE AND INVENTIVE

CREATIVE

ADAPTIVE

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN INQUISITIVENESS ARE

PRACTICAL

CONSISTENT

TRADITIONAL

HABITUAL

PRAGMATIC

SOCIABILITY

A bit like Alec Leamas in The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, you scored extremely low (yay. well I knew this... and from answering the questions... )on this attribute, which suggests that you prefer to spend time alone and keep yourself to yourself. You avoid parties, meet-ups and other noisy gatherings because you find them overwhelming (wayyyy). If you really have to socialize, you need plenty of quiet time afterwards to help you rest and recharge.

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like others with an extremely low sociability score, you don’t like being the center of attention and often struggle to start conversations. You think a lot before speaking and regularly find it hard to express your thoughts and ideas. Because of this, you often let others do the talking, and you don’t take part in small talk either. This behavior means you might come across as socially reactive, and people may think you only talk to them when you feel you really have to (as in, extremely negative, and I shouldn’t exist. although... i do talk to them if I have to.... haha I do take part in small talk because I think I have to. or people will think I’m rude. but I don’t like it. I’m sensitive to how I’m perceived and don’t want to be seen as too antisocial, but I talk to others out of fear not of want... yikes. no wonder no one wants to be around me. well I don't want to be around them. well - I want to be around people I know well. for limited amounts of time... need less to recharge from people I know than strangers. I want to be with them, I don’t want to be with strangers-- it’s only stress and not fun at all. but how do i get past the stranger part to the friend part if I don’t like being with strangers and it’s all stressful adn overwhelming? How do i participate in society, have people to talk to, have any sort of success??? - shouldn't exist.).

IN YOUR WORK

Because you are more comfortable working independently (please. HOW???? besides working for myself... haha can’t work for anyone else bc can’t get past the interview, these ^ traits are obvious and not something any employer in their right mind wants), you will be more productive – and much happier – managing your own workload, tackling problems alone, and avoiding company brainstorms and powwows.

THE SCIENCE

How sociable you are can be linked to your levels of happiness, positivity, and wellbeing. In fact, sociability relates to a variety of positive outcomes in life, including how successful you are at work, how well you cope with challenging situations, and even how physically and mentally healthy you are. (yay. I’m doomed. I might as well kill myself now)

People who are highly sociable are more positive emotionally (case in point!) than those who are less sociable. In one brain imaging study, people with a high sociability score had higher levels of brain activity when they saw images of happy faces and other positive emotions.

The same part of the brain that processes emotions also helps interpret information from social contexts, which means we can judge a social situation and then respond appropriately (social situations, like math problems and logic, are mystifying to me. yay the things that are highest linked to success--).

There is some evidence to suggest that highly sociable people might be better at detecting and decoding the meaning of social cues – including how they analyze and read people’s faces (oh, I know that. I have a hard time judging people’s faces, in fact I often think they are mad at me or judging me by their faces when they probably aren’t. I even have trouble finding out what emotions go with what emoji! besides the basics. i mean why, how are there so many emojis....). This means they are likely to find social interaction easier to deal with than others (lol yes. it’s . not easy. why. do i have to be born like this. always been. hell..).

There is also research to suggest that highly sociable people have more connections between regions of the brain that involve visual stimulus and regions that process social and emotional stimuli. (brains are better, we get it)

Sociability might also be associated with the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is linked to reward-seeking behavior. It is thought that people who are highly sociable may have an enhanced response to dopamine in the brain, which makes them pursue rewards such as attention, status, power or pleasure. This would explain why, when they get these things, they feel happier or more satisfied.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN SOCIABILITY ARE

TALKATIVE

FRIENDLY

ENTHUSIASTIC

ENERGETIC

EXCITABLE

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN SOCIABILITY ARE

QUIET

RESERVED

INTROSPECTIVE

PRIVATE

SHY

^ ALLL negative attributes, I need to just kill myself now, no future.

#spies #personality test #spychology #help #job #life #negative #discouraged #again #pretty much everything discourages me #except when i'm distracted #insurmountable life #why #how can i possible live

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stereotypcd · 5 years

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ooc;; here’s PART ONE the second part is coming soon, I’d love to hear what u guys think of it so hmu if u wanna if not thats cool too. i put it under a read more bc holy fuck it’s long.

A FEW DAYS BEFORE MOVING INTO HER GRANDPARENTS HOUSE:

She wakes up alone. The only sound is her heartbeat, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Counting the beats of her heart was something, Debbie has done the moment she learned her numbers ( and how to talk ) it took 2,130 heartbeats for Mama and Daddy to get home. They said she was finally old enough to stay at camp alone, inside the comvee of course. While they went to film animals, they were trying to get Daddy’s show back ( which they had been doing and failing since Debbie turned two years old. ) Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen- rubbing the sleep from her eyes, eighteen, swinging her body to the edge of the bed, nineteen, climbing the ladder and opening the door to the top level of the comvee. Twenty.

Hazel hues glance up at the note pinned to the fridge, not ever bothering to open it, because she knew it would empty. WENT FILMING. BE BACK BY LUNCH, STAY IN THE COMVEE AND DRINK PLENTY OF WATER, AND TAKE YOUR NAP- LOVE YOU, SWEETHEART. But they had left a few water bottles since out in the desert dehydration was no laughing matter, where the sun could drain the life from your veins in mere seconds. A bowl of leftover noodles on the table, they had been eating plain noodles for two weeks straight, it was to the point where just seeing it made her stomach turn. But she would shovel it down, hardly even tasting it. It was better than starving to death. Debbie learned to not voice her discomforts, it only caused more problems. She knew her parents were doing the best they could given the situation. Sitting around doing nothing all day made Debbie restless and put her on edge. she cleaned she decided to clean up a bit, it was fairly easy to clean up since the comvee was a compact space, so there wasn't a need for a vacuum, a broom, and dustpan could do the same amount of work. ( of course, it was a bit more time consuming. ) So she swept the floor, emptied the contents out outside, and walked back to the comvee to finish the chores ( plus the extra things she added on. ) she was finishing up the last chore, the remaining dishes, dipping her hands in again, wincing, a loud cry escapes her throat, eyes shimmering with tears, dark red staining the soapy water, a large gash down the palm of her hand. It took Debbie almost ten minutes to stop sobbing and to bandage the wound and finished washing the dishes. Being extra careful to not cut herself again. The blonde sits the dishes in a rack to dry, wiping her arms and pushing her hair out of her eyes. She was proud of herself for getting everything done in time for her nap. Things were going pretty good today, well besides the sharp pains in her stomach. It was getting harder to ignore the empty, gnawing, painful feelings in her stomach, Mama called it hunger pains. Crawling into her bed, small arms wrapped tightly around her stomach, she was supposed to be taking a nap. But it was hard when it felt like someone was twisting a knife into her stomach, squeezing her eyes shut and forcing herself to try and sleep through the pain. Counting the beating of her heart while she drifted toward sleep. She dreams of French fries. Hot, golden and greasy. Greedily stuffing them into her mouth. She wanted dozens. Boxes full, enough to never be hungry again, feeling the tastes explode against her tongue. She dreams of food as her stomach growls and her muscles clenched and a whimper escapes chapped lips.

Then, she woke up.

Debbie woke up more hungry than when she went to sleep. Debbie was so use to those dreams that the throbbing pain in her head, along with the emptiness in her stomach were almost too normal for the 4 year old. Mouth bone dry, sweaty blonde locks sticking to her forehead, vision slightly blurry, pulling her legs against her and wrapping her arms around her them. Hazel hues land upon the air conditioner, fingers hovering over the on the button, licking dry lips. Pulling her arm away, wiping the sweat ( or tears ) from her eyes. After a few more minutes of sitting curled into herself, Debbie decided it was time to get up. Swinging her legs over the edge, a shark band-aid across her knee from when she fell chasing an aardvark around camp yesterday. ( which Nigel had a spend a hour and half talking about ) Debbie smiled at the memory, there were good things among the bad if you looked hard enough.

They came home looking worn and sweaty as Mama shuffled up the comvee steps holding a strange looking box that she wouldn't let Debbie see. She was forced to sit outside with Daddy, he doesn't notice the bandage wrapped around her hand or if he had he never says anything. Debbie preferred it that way, she didn't want to add any more stress upon her daddy ( and mama’s ) shoulders. But at least he had gotten fruit for lunch... Even it was kiwi ( it had been the cheapest thing at the market ), ”Sorry, Sunflower. I know how you aren't too fond of kiwi, but next time I'll get the biggest and shiny apple I can find.” The blonde smiled, swallowing down the last bit of fruit, Daddy kissed her cheek and went to check on Mama. Debbie emptied her stomach and covered it with sand, shame burned through her and her hands shake. Hazel hues scanned the surrounding area, no animals or her parents in sight, her stomach rolled. ( Mariann checks the test again. Checks the box to make sure she's reading it correctly. No, oh God, please no! Beside her, Nigel looks it over as well, and her stomach clenches. “It’ll be already, dearest.” Nigel kisses her forehead. ) Later when Debbie was in the bathroom washing her hands she found the little stick with a + on it, when she asked her Mama what it meant she started crying and Daddy rubbed her back and muttered things she couldn't understand.

LATE AFTERNOON:

“We can’t keep living like this, Nigel.”

“I know, dearest.” Rubbing a hand over his knuckles. ”Our show is nearly back, that film of the Wildebeest seems to have caught their attention and they said they would start funding our show again... if- if we kept filming.” Nigel raked a hand through his ponytail, wrong. That was so wrong. This is about his children and their happiness, not his. Nigel knew he was fooling himself into beliving if they kept going that things would get better, that they would have the show back. Debbie wouldn’t have to go hungry again, but weeks turned to months and then to years- Debbie was 2 years old when they begin filming and she’s 4 years old now. It was time to face the facts that the show wasn’t coming back and he hated himself for how blind he had been to not only himself but his wife and most of all to Debbie. His precious little sunflower. “Debbie deserves a better childhood then this-“ A hand reaches up to muffle a sob. “And,” she paused. Resting a hand atop her stomach. “I’m pregnant.” The words came out small and hushed like she didn't even want to hear the words. “I don’t want to bring another baby into this world not knowing if we can properly care for it.” Nigel remained silence, letting his wife vent out her feelings. She clearly needed this. “Just barely scraping by, we can hardly keep ourselves fed... Let alone Debbie. This isn't how a child should grow up.” Living day to day wasn’t how they wanted to raise their children, it wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair to anyone. ”Perhaps it is time we set down roots, for the sake of children.” This was about Debbie’s and their future baby’s wellbeing. They deserved a chance at a normal and stable childhood... They had already in slow ways ruined Debbie's. They had been incredibly selfish and they can never fix it. “I’m calling my mother tomorrow.” A laugh left her throat. “She’s been nagging us for years about moving back in with her and Dad.” Nigel nodded, he remembers. She wipes her eyes. Mariann was a bit bitter her mother always nagging about her job about how she was raising her child.... it was so frustrating. This is for the children, his is for the children, this is for the children. She kept repeating that phrase over and over in her head.

Ear pressed against the thin door, she knew she was supposed to be in the shower since it was her bath time, but her parents have been acting weird since they got home. A baby? A heavyweight settles against her chest, suddenly it was growing harder to breathe, trying to catch her breath. She couldn't, though, and her hands clenched. Her heart had sped up wildly and she couldn't seem to get it to calm at all. Something was horribly, horribly wrong. Her chest hurt, and she couldn't breathe and everything - it took her a few minutes to come down from it, and then there was nothing but exhausted crying. Slowly but surely her breathing because soft and her hands weren't shaking anymore, but that heavyweight atop her chest never seemed to fade. Mama was having a baby?

———

“Sweetheart, dinner will be—“ She froze, eyes wide and still clinging to the door like it were a lifeline. “Debbie. What's wrong?” Mariann already knew what was wrong and it broke her heart. The sound of her Mama's soft voice drags her from her thoughts. “N’tin’ jus’ sleepy...” Voice horse and small. Down on her knees in seconds, grabbing her baby into a tight hug combing slender fingers through golden locks. “Shhh, it’s alright. Mama’s got you.” A feeling of dread settled in the pit of her stomach, she felt worthless as a mother, like she failed her... Which she guessed she did, in a way. The guilt only ate away at her when blue hues landed on the bandage wrapped around her small hand, a spot of dark, crusted over blood seeped through, the air had been sucked from her lungs, eyes watering. Her hand. What happened to her hand? Mariann didn’t ask questions about how she got it, because like everything else she already knew. She cleaned the cuts, dressed it with fresh bandages and kissed her hand. “I’m so sorry, baby. Mama is so sorry.” Voice soft, heavy breathing and sobs escaping her Mama, gripping her Mama’s arm, the embrace was warm and soft and Debbie never wanted to leave. An unknown feeling settled in Debbie’s heart, it was all twisted and she didn’t understand why she felt this heavyweight in her heart and atop her shoulders. Was this her fault? A few moments later the sobs turned to whimpers and soon she was calm again. Mariann held her and curled up into the bed, told her about the animals the had filmed today. They stayed like that until dinner was ready.

They had dinner around 6pm, it was white rice and molasses ( which helps to sweeten the plain rice a bit ) Debbie hated how the molasses felt going down her throat, it sticks to the roof of her mouth and teeth and feels heavy in her stomach like swallowing bricks. But she ate because it made the hunger pains go away. Plus had the benefit of filling her up faster, which is probably why it was for dinner. Daddy let mama and Debbie eat first while he put the dishes away, Mama was silent doing most of the dinner. Hazel hues glanced up from her half-empty plate, stuffing a spoon full into her mouth. “I saw a pretty horsey t’day, it had, like, black and white strips.” Muttering with a mouth full. Mama looked up, a tired smile slowly crossing her lips a laugh leaving her throat. “That’s wonderful, sweetheart. But it’s called a zebra.” Debbie’s face lit up a wide smile, one of her front teeth was missing. “Zeb-r.” The word felt funny leaving her mouth. “You should go tell Daddy, I know he’ll be happy to hear that.” The blonde nodded. “But finish your dinner first.” She didn’t need to be told twice, she devoured it into minutes. While she was getting up from the table she noticed Mama had hardly touched hers, she frowned. Crossing her arms and planting herself back into her seat. “You gotta, like, eat, Mama.” Debbie looked her straight in the eyes ( which was something Debbie never really did. ) She wanted to prove her point that she needed to eat too. She watched her eat a few spoon fulls, a twitch of a smile crossed her face. “Good.” Giving a nod, before running off to tell her Daddy about the horsey, er, zebra.

LATER THAT NIGHT ( 7pm ):

It was a warm night, Mama had gone to bed the moment dinner was finished, she had helped Daddy put the dishes away. It was nice. She told him about the zebra and he rambled off facts about the said animal, every once in a while his eyes would linger on the bandage around her hand, Debbie knew he was chomping at the bit to ask her about it. But the words never left his throat, which Debbie was thankful for, she was far too exhausted to try and explain it. Once everything was put away and Debbie was in her footy pjs, Daddy took her up to the roof of the comvee to look at the stars. Hazel hues watched stars speed past eyes her, it was like someone had poured salt against very dark cloth. Curled up against her Daddy, apple in hand, rubbing a thumb across the smooth texture of the apple, it had warmed a bit in her hands. Finally, after a few moments the blonde raised it to her lips and took a huge bite out of it, shimming a put at the sweet taste of it, Daddy smiles down at her. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it, Poppet.” They continued like that throughout the night, pointing out various constellations until Debbie couldn’t keep her eyes open. Glancing down to the sleeping 4 year old wrapped up his arms, an apple lay forgotten still clenched between small fingers. “Don’t worry, Poppet, ” he whispers, eyes glossy with unshed tears. Placing a kiss, softly atop her forehead. ”Things- Things are going to be better... I promise.” He swore on his life that he would fix this, make sure Debbie grow up never being hungry or scared again. He wouldn’t let his baby girl suffer. Never again.

———

THE NEXT MORNING:

The camp was set up near a stream where they could get water and take baths, but it had dried up. It just happened to be the dry season in the Savanna meaning most of the plants shrivel up and die and sometimes the rivers and streams dry up, leaving behind dry cracked earth baking in the sun. A lot of the animals migrate to find food. Which was also what Daddy went to do since they had no water and food ( Debbie had eaten the last of the rice for breakfast, which made her feel guilty over because Mama and Daddy hadn’t eaten ) left Daddy had to go to the market early before the sun had even rose, he always said it was best plus the drive/hike there was long. It was just Mama and Debbie left to stay at camp and wait for him to return, it was hard because Debbie was so, so thirsty. Golden locks flapping in a sudden gust of heated wind. For a moment, everything was still and peaceful. Tired hazel hues flicked up to the face of her Mama, she looked worn and stressed. She swallowed it was like eating sandpaper, licking chapped lips.

Her mouth was so dry, tongue sticking to the room of her mouth. ”thirsty.” The words were forced from an aching throat, while Mama combed slender fingers through golden locks. ”I know, baby. Your father should be home soon.” Daddy has left early in the morning before the sun was even awake, he wanted to her to the market before everything was taken. They would need to have enough food to make the trip to Mariann’s parent’s house which would take a week or more.

A pause.

”Why don’t you try and get some rest.” Giving a weak nod, shutting glossy eyes. She was fighting off the tears she knew would fall if she kept trying to force words from dry lips. Debbie was just glad they had leftover rice from last night so at least, her stomach was full. Kind of, Debbie was never really full just enough to take the edge off of her growling stomach… Just enough to keep her alive. Debbie dreamed of laying on her back, hair flowing around like a helo, in a large body of water, the sea, she could taste the salt water on her lips. ( don’t drink the water, sweetheart ) the sun beating down against her skin, eyes lazily shutting a sigh of peacefulness leaves her lips. shoulders slacking, her whole body trying to jelly- the stress seemed to melt away in seconds. A wide smile reaches chapped lips, tiny hands dip under the clear water, cupping the water and raising it to her lips only for it to slip through her fingers. She tried again, but still, it spilled from her hands.

Tears well up, eyes glossy. Her breath hitching on a sob. No. No. No! She tried again but it ended the way. Warm tears spill freely down red cheeks. Again and again and again and again and again- “Deb-“ A Voice broke through the fog of the nightmare, it was her Mama. “Wake up, sweetheart.” Hazel hues snapped open and she jolts upright, chest heaving. “You were having a bad dream.” Blinking, once, twice. Her cheeks were wet. The nightmare was quickly forgotten when she heard her Daddy walking up to camp. “Hello, poppet!” The blonde jumped up, almost tripping over her own feet. rushing into her Daddy’s full arms. “Oof- it’s nice to see you too.” A bark of a laugh reached his throat. Mariann followed after her, a smile across her lips.

Nigel placed a kiss to the top of her head, sitting the bags down. Wiping an arm his wife. Nigel reached back and handed each of them a water bottle, Debbie’s eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store. Hungrily twisting the cap off with her teeth, guzzling it down in three breaths, the plastic cheaking. Cooling her burning throat. Still gripping the bottle, almost scared that if she let go she’d never get water again. She knew that was a lie because Mama and Daddy would never let that happen. Her body desperately craving for more, the dry air was already beginning to dry out her mouth, she snapped it shut. Hazel hues glance up to Mama, she looks tired. Debbie instantly feels a stab of guilt clenching her insides, she should have saved some for Mama. Why didn’t she save some? Why was she so greedy and stupid? The blonde bites down on her quivering lip. ( She doesn’t realize there are more bottles. )

#○ ‖ ▏ trash is talking「 ooc 」#headcanon

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thecontentgeekofficial · 4 years

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Top 12 Amazing Facts of World

Some people say 'History teaches us nothing.' Many such amazing facts of world defy this theory. But of course, History can be tough, painful, and scary at times, and even though it might not teach us anything, it's not that stupid to learn from the past mistakes that were committed. There are some historical events many of us just haven't found googling. For example, you might know that the one who Avenged the death of Lincoln had no balls (yeah like physically), or some lady cutting Internet access of the entire US or you must have had enough of listening to Turkeys being worshipped and more. But, Did you know these below mentioned 12 amazing facts of world, I bet you haven't found googling? 12: Mars is ours In 1997, three men from Yemen tried to sue NASA for trespassing on Mars. Adam Ismail, Mustafa Khalil, and Abdullah al-Umari filed the lawsuit in Sana'a, Yemen. They claimed that they inherited the planet from their ancestors 3,000 years ago but, of course, didn't win because there's an international treaty that states that everything in the solar system, except Earth itself, is the property of everyone in the world. 11: Death Photoshoot If your beloved one passed away how would you grieve him? Do you know how the Victorians did? They had a habit of photographing everyone from mom and dad through to dead infant babies, with the bizarre ritual of Post-Mortem photography starting in the nineteenth century and continuing well into the twentieth. This practice was supposed to help people get through the grieving process. This bizarre routine replaced the original method of remembering the dead, which involved painting a death portrait. 10: Columbus who? How do we know Columbus? He discovered America, right? Is it? Christopher Columbus had not set foot into the American continent first (as it was claimed), and he, actually, never set foot in the modern-day USA, as it was thought, he only ever visited the Bahamas, Haiti, and the Dominican Republic. Then, What was he first at? To begin an under-age sex slave ring in the Americas, which is probably not how he'd like to be remembered. It is said that, Upon his arrival, Christopher Columbus pressed many native people of the Americas into working down the mines, and he also even began selling pre-pubescent girls, as young as nine, as sex slaves to his men, many of whom were known, rapists and murderers. He also used native people as food to feed his dogs, mutilated around 10,000 of them by cutting off their hands, and in all was responsible for around 200,000 deaths in Haiti alone. 9: Saving Santa In 1961, a girl named Michelle Rochon wrote a letter to President Kennedy addressing her concern for Santa's safety during the Soviet nuclear bomb testing near the North Pole. Unbelievably, the President wrote back telling her that he spoke to Santa and there was nothing to worry about. 8: The Nazi Drink German leader who terrorized the world between 1939 and 1945, Adolf Hitler and Germany was placed under a restriction by the Coca Cola Company due to the naughty things Hitler was getting up to. But Germany needed some soda to wash down all that dry, so the head of Coca Cola Deutschland, Max Keith, decided to create a new product for the German market using only ingredients available in Germany at the time, including beet sugar, whey, and apple pomace—the "leftovers of leftovers", as Keith later recalled. Thus they created an orange-flavored soda and that drink is known today as Fanta. So, next time you get to grab a drink you know what not to! Aren't these amazing facts of world mind-boggling? There's more… 7: the sunken cities Alexandria is the second-largest city of Egypt and can trace its origins back to the Year 331 BC when it was founded as a small town by Greek Conqueror Alexander the Great later ruled by the likes of Cleopatra, Napoleon and even once invaded by the Islamic prophet Muhammad. This region is one of at most historical significance but Alexandria wasn't always the most important place on Egypt's northern coast centuries. Years before its construction came the fabled city of thanas also known as Heraklion and once thought to be a myth located 15 miles northeast of modern-day Alexandria is an area now submerged beneath the ocean. Initially, the more prosperous settlement Phonus Heraklion was a huge trading port until a devastating earthquake and tsunami around the year and caused large parts of it to sink into the sea. But this acted as a Savior, where much of Alexandria has been destroyed by war, Heraklion temples artifacts, and even parts of a palace once belonging to Cleopatra have been preserved by the ocean. Soon you may be able to see these sites for yourself for two decades there have been plans in place to construct an elaborate underwater museum around these sunken ruins as this would prevent the need for the artifacts to be removed and potentially risk damaging them. In September 2016 Egypt's Ministry for antiquities reaffirmed their commitment to building this museum as soon as they figure out who's going to pay for it. It was believed it would have been China but at the moment it seems like China is gonna need a hell lot of it. Or they can start a support campaign. 6: Edited Truth The Diary of Anne Frank offers a harrowing personal account of what life was like for Jewish people under the Nazi rule. Anyway, there are a few interesting stories regarding Anne Frank's diary which you may not know, one of which covers the fact that when it was published as a book, it was missing a whole bunch of personal information. This is because the diary had been edited by the sole surviving member of the Frank family, Otto Frank, Anne's father. Otto was given his daughter's diary after he escaped when his camp was liberated, and upon reading it he decided the world needed to hear his daughter's story...with a few minor alterations first. He cut out the parts where she talked about her period or discovering herself sexually. He removed most references to boys she liked, and when he found that his daughter had gone into great detail about how obsessed her father was with fart jokes, he edited those out too. Eventually, the unedited version of Anne's diary was released to the public, and the world got to see more of the real Anne Frank. It wasn't pornographic, it wasn't gross, it was the tale of a normal girl and her relationship with her normal family, all of which was torn apart by the atrocities carried out by those people. 5: Ocean junk plastics are costlier When a whole heap of plastic was found in the ocean off the coast of the Maldives, Adidas teamed up with an ocean protection organization to turn this junk into sneakers, athletic apparel, and even the official soccer jerseys worn by Real Madrid Bayern Munich. The junk they cleaned out of the sea is now being used by many other major corporations to create eco-friendly products. Now, don't assume if you go throw enough plastic trash bags in your local lake you'll get to meet Virat Kohli. Don't be stupid! 4: Hooker's Brigade Did you ever wonder why we call women who sell their bodies for sex as Hookers? Well, some people believe it comes from a Civil War General called Joseph Hooker, and while there are a few examples of the word being used to describe ladies of the evening before his lifetime, his story is nonetheless pretty darn interesting. General Hooker was generous to his men, he realized that those who fight hard need to play hard too, and so he hired huge legions of women to follow his troops around and keep the urges of his soldiers satisfied. But such generosity came at a price because an 1861 report by the Union Army Medical Department discovered that a quarter of the entire army had some form of STD. And in 1875, someone even made this delightful syphilis map to show where the disease had spread to the most. So they survived the war but … Now, the top 3 amazing facts of World, are you ready? 3: Hungry crowd

In 2008, cooks in Iran tried to break the world record for the world's longest sandwich but failed when the crowd began eating it before it could be measured. They shouldn't have kept it a secret though. Innocent hungry crowd. 2: Raymond

The founder of Victoria's Secret, Roy Raymond, sold the company in 1982 for $4 million, but by the early 1990s, it was worth a billion. And, in response, Raymond killed himself by jumping off of the Golden Gate Bridge. Also, many business failures were the reason. What would you do, anyway?? 1: First hint of e-commerce

In 1972, long before eBay or Amazon, the very first e-commerce transaction was made. It was a drug deal when Stanford students used ARPANET, the first iteration of the internet, to buy marijuana from students at MIT. Cool. How do you think the best stuff originates? Need leads to crazy inventions. So that's our list. Did you like it? Would you like to know more? Then, use the comments box below because there's always more amazing facts of World that you definitely wouldn't have found googling yourself. https://thecontentgeek.com/liquor-sales-the-only-savior-of-the-world-economy/ Read our latest post Read the full article

#amazingfacts #amazingfactsofworld

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miallday · 4 years

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✨2019✨ Jan.-July.

wow. You were a hard year, but you had a great ending to it.

January: I let go of my toxic relationship of 5 years. I let go of his entire family. We ended on a bad note.. pretty much all of them. Sarah and I had an awful fight. I was angry during one of my conversations with Maia. I was so hurt. I remember I was also broke. Like I had less than $100. I went through all my savings for 6 months. I am so blessed I was able to pay all my bills.. all on my OWN. I moved out from my apartment, separating myself from those familiar faces and became a live in nanny. I started school again.. from scratch. I went to school and worked, but I was still broke since I didn’t get paid. I lived off the 200$ a month from my church job. I wanted my head shaved. This is an easy decision. It had been over a year of thought. Jacob was so kind to do it for me. That was the first time I wore his clothes. I liked it. That was also the first time I slept on his bed. I was scared, I didn’t sleep well that night. But waking up that morning it made me happy. I was ok. Now I’m just bald. Yikes. But I liked the wig look... until hair started growing in. In the month of January I began praying to God so much. I remember one night I spoke to God and asked him to show me what to do. Show me the Autrys true colors. To show me the cards. Lay them on the table. Later on that month I had a dream giving me the answers. Time to let go. Jacob called me telling me about Shonté getting this chicks # and stuff and she looked just like Stefany. Jacob came to my rescue again. Jacob, Marcus and I went out that night. I remember it was the first week living at carols. My first Friday night out!! To zen! I’m 21! It was so fun! Jacob suggested putting my phone on airplane mode and the next day I ended everything with Shonté. He told me to go fuck myself... then texted me saying “ i dont know when but one day I will show you that I love you” lol... that’s the “love” I had for 7 years. (5 + the 2 we were talking.) wow. I wish none of that happened. I am embarrassed of it all. I had no self love at all. I didn’t know what love was. I was trying to find love in all the wrong places. I look back and I wish I could just hug my younger self. I am so glad I am out of that. ALL of it. I was in so much pain. I am thankful for Jacob. I really am, but I am also so proud of myself for finally choosing myself and my happiness. I put myself first for once in my life.

February: I wanted to ignore the hurt that I was feeling. I regret ever talking to justin. I shouldn’t have done it. I knew it was wrong. I didn’t want him to kiss me. I wanted to move my head, but I was lonely. I’m sorry. I knew you loved me since the 7th grade. It was nice catching up on life. We may have been best friends but Sam really did take you away from Zahria and I for years. I tried to tell you that we were just talking. I knew I didn’t want more, I’m sorry for going along with those conversations. I shouldnt have sexted you. I shouldn’t have made out with you in your car. I led you on. I am so sorry. It was wrong. I was lonely and I thought maybe our long friendship must mean maybe there could be more. But you were too much for me. You took me to meet your whole family on our first date. I spoke to everyone of course, but you continuously asked “are you having fun”. Ugh Justin I missed my friend. I hated when we were in the car stopped at a red light you’d want to kiss me over and over and over. I’d say stop & you wouldn’t. I didnt want this. I could never love you the way you needed to be loved. I am so happy you found someone, but Apart of me regrets losing my guy bestfriend since middle school, but after all that happened it’s too late. You became clingy and told me you loved me too fast. It was only a month. & you’d say it so often. You made me feel suffocated. I didn’t have that love connection with you. It was TOO much for ME. You’d call me every night around 7/8pm and you keep talking until 1am. I’d get frustrated bc I’m serious about my sleep. I’d say bye and you would somehow find another topic. So I even told you to give me space. While you were blowing up my phone I was sleeping next to Jacob in his bed, getting high and doing acid with him. Nothing happened ever, but you never knew. You just knew I was there. That’s how I knew I didn’t want this.. I could never commit to you. I knew you weren’t it. I wanted to be around Jacob more than I ever wanted to talk to you. And I’m sorry. This one day before work I walked up to a church and I sat down on their bench outside. It was like 8pm and I spoke to God. I asked him to show me if you were meant to be in my life.. not to long later God showed me the answers. The fact that after I went to visit Jenn for her birthday and Jacob mentioned who she saw him marrying I knew it was me but I was afraid I would be right and things would get awkward. But somehow Jacob smoothly brought up our pact by 30 if we were still single we’d get married and I was ok with that. Or when we did acid that day I was making a floor angel.. before we fell asleep I told you I didn’t mind being with you if by 30 we didn’t have anyone. My heart was with Jacob before I even knew.

March: Jacob and I began hanging out. During my spring break we went out to eat. We drank. I got high from brownie crumbs you shared with me. We drank. In the Uber I leaned on you and I dosed off, but you put your hand on my leg. I felt it but with you I wanted you to keep you hand there. We got to his place and we talked about tattoos. You even helped me decide what to do with mine and then we ended up wrestling. It was fun. Nothing more. That whole week we hung out. I went to go visit you in pentagon city. We texted daily. Anyways, Wednesday March 13 you kissed me. A couple days before I had a feeling something would happen between us. I was in shock that you kissed me. I dont know, I just never put mind to it. I accepted you for who you were, but I always turned my head bc I knew your body count. I am sorry for judging you. I did accept you, but that kept me from looking at your direction the whole time we were friends. I dont know if that sounds shitty of me. There was also something going on between you and Zahria and I really didn’t like it. In all honesty I didn’t want to give her your number the first time. Back in cityside. Big yikes. Anyways. I liked you. I liked how it felt when you kissed me. I wanted to know if you’d kiss me again. Then next morning you kissed me and said “does that answer your question.” So cute. From this moment I told Justin to let me go and find someone else. I didn’t want to waste his time. I wanted to do things right. For St.Patricks day Jacob invited me out to DuPont circle! This parents were there. That night was fun. Jacob and I clicked in a different way. We were out together. I held his hand for the first time outside. I also called him bby. There was a connection. I remember that night pretty clearly. Anyways, Jacob & I had sex like a week later. I wanted to. I wanted you. I wanted you since my 20th birthday. On acid I looked at you when I was laying on my bed and I literally said I wanna fuck him but I knew that was wrong of me to think that. I wasn’t scared the first time we did it. It was definitely better than my first time lol. And it was mutual and we were sober. That.. helps me.. in all honesty. All the time I think of that and I smile. The next day.. oof it was the first time I ever had good sex. It was hard having sex with you for a while after that though. I really felt like I lost my virginity. It was rough for a while. I am so lucky. I was always embarrassed but you helped me feel better. I’m sorry for bleeding on you. I really appreciate you comforting me every time... you are so sweet. I remember that following day you took me over to your parents house. That was my first time there. He brought me to his parents house ASAP. I met Shonté’s family 3 years later and that’s because I came over during Christmas break and his parents decided no one should spend Christmas alone in another state. Yeah I was literally going to stay at his dads apt alone if his parents didn’t want me to come. Yikes. You obviously really did like me. Don’t worry I can’t wait until you meet my brother and my nephews. My nephews are my treasure, so you are very special!!! I remember the last day of March.. March 31st we went on our first date!! No ones ever gone all out for me like that... I was speechless. You took me to the fish market. You got a small bowl of clam chowder and I got fish and chips. We walked down king street and we went to go see Kai. You paid for our tickets to get on the ferry. I’ve never been on that one!! It was cold but there was a beautiful view. We got to NH and we passed by a spicy sauce store. We still have to go there!!!! Then we got on the Ferris wheel. I had so much fun with you. The first time I went on it I didn’t have much of a good time. So thank you for giving me a better memory!!💗

April: Jacob called me his girlfriend over text. I remember I completely ignored it. You pointed it out and I told you I wasn’t your girlfriend until you ask me. I’m glad I stood up for myself. I wanted you to know I am different. April 12 we woke up super early and took acid. We spent the whole trip in bed binge watching breaking bad. I love that. Later that night you casted a slideshow for me. That’s when you asked me out. I found it so cute and I loved the effort you made to ask me to be your girlfriend. I went and got tested this month. I was scared tbh. I wish I would have been smarter and asked Jacob some more serious questions before having sex without a condom. But when we had sex I was okay with it, i could have said no put one on but i really wanted to know what you actually felt like too. & I loved it. I could never go back. Well unless I find those vibrating condom thing. We gotta try. But anyways. I didn’t have peace of mind until my dr. called. I don’t mean to judge. But I’m glad all is good. School was going well! I was working on my website. I was nannying and teaching Jonah Spanish on thursdays. I was also making $ in the side with Sophie, and Guy& Coleman as well as the church! I was productive... you see.. not smoking weed.. I was sober. This is why I’m harder on myself. I could be doing more. Anyways. April was a good month.

May: In May I finished my spring semester!! I took 5 classes. All A’s and B’s. I worked SO hard. I remember I stayed up all night until 4am studying my history notes. Over and over and over. Took a 2 hour nap and went to school. Took my finals and had to hurry and pick up Jonah for tutoring. It was so nice to go out to eat for dinner that day. I was proud of myself. I finessed my communications professor to bring my grade from a B to an A. It took some convincing but he did it. He gave me those extra points. I went home for Mother’s Day. This was wonderful... 2019 I finished paying off to install my moms tombstone. And my brother and I went to see her for Mother’s Day. We got her a bouquet of red roses. Her favorite! It was nice even though my brother was a total dick to me on that 40 minute Uber ride. Zahria didn’t hang out with me this weekend and I was very upset about that. She was mad that I was going to see Michael. Michael and I still speak tbh. Mostly about drugs and life. I was always a real friend to him since freshman year. But now I understand where she was coming from. Jacob and I would FaceTime each other at night now & fall asleep. So cute. I went back home and it took sometime to be okay again. That toxic, negative energy back home is some serious shit. Summer semester started and I only took one class for 6 weeks!!

June:

Pride was so much fun. I wish I went the second day, but I had school and work on Monday. I didn’t want to be out late on a Sunday. But I really had a great time. Too bad I’m so awkward. This is the month Jenn was helping me speak up to Carol and Aaron about the contract. I was terrified. THAT WAS HARD FOR ME. That was so hard for me. But I did it. I spoke to them about it and I decided the best decision was to move out. It’s crazy bc at this time I found my love for champagne. I was drinking so much of it. Tbh that’s how I gained so much weight. Alcohol!!!!!! Anyways. I was sitting in Jacobs closet and he came to talk to me. We talked about what happened and you brought up if I wanted to move in with you. I said yes. So I gave my decision. They didn’t want to give me any money. I would get $200 a month for food if I worked more hours from the morning. As well as no summer tutoring so I would have to readjust my hours on the weekends and I wasn’t about it. So I cleaned up my room. They wanted me out ASAP. Marcus and Jacob helped me moved half my stuff. The other half Aaron helped. They weren’t in a good mood that days Carol gave me a hug though and told me she loves me. I closed another chapter. I was nervous and worried to move in with Jacob but it wasn’t too bad.

July: Jacob always tries his best to make me feel welcomed. He moved his desk over and gave it to me. He moved his shelf and fridge to make more space. You were okay with me taking the closet. You never once complained. You were okay that I had a lot of things. I was so worried about it all, but you always comfort me. I started working with Andrea. It was a blessing answered from God. I remember telling Jacob I wanted to take care of another 3 month old again.. and then Bradley came along. That baby brought me a ton of happiness whereas Jackson gave me headaches 🤣 I felt good. I was in school. I was making money. I was also babysitting Cora a lot. I made a little over $500 in 3 days. I saw Guy & Coleman. Jacob, Marcus and I went to Dave & busters. I had a lot of fun. I love that wizard of oz machine. I also came across this letter I wrote for myself back in 2016. I was suppose to wait until 2021, but I read it anyways. Wow I accomplished a couple things in there, but the way I saw my life planned was SO WRONG. hahah. I went and renewed my cpr license. The instructor was tough. I was afraid she wouldn’t pass me. I was doubting myself but I had studying. It was just a lot of pressure. I am so proud of myself for passing and I have a renewed certificate now. I ended the month saying goodbye to the Barhydt’s. They moved back to MA.

#personal #mydays

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maeelizabethg · 5 years

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Maui Hawaii Recap

Last September Zach and I took a trip to Maui, Hawaii for 8 days and had the BEST time. Plus, we got engaged! I figure it’s about time that I do a round up of what we did, where we stayed, where we went, what we ate, etc!

Transportation:

We opted for a convertible Camero and LOVED it! Everyone said you need a jeep for The Road to Hana, but that’s not the case whatsoever. Maybe the roads used to be bad, but in 2018 they were great!

Lodging:

We went the Air BnB route and stayed in a groud level condo at Kehei Akah. Our room had a washer/dryer, one bedroom, full kitchen, one full bathroom, large living room, patio, and access to a pool. We would 100% stay there again.

Activities:

Surfing (very mild) at Kalama Beach. Zach went across the street to Maui Wave Riders Shop and rented a surfboard and shirt. There was a dog out there surfing named Church and it was the cutest! You can purchase lessons and actually learn with the dog - maybe I’ll do that next time.

Scenic drive to Ahihi-Kinau natural reserve lava fields and saw little wild black goats along the side of the road. Head up, you will not have any service out there.

Yoga with goats. This was one of the coolest things we did and we found it on the Air BnB “Experience” section. It’s literally in the STUNNING backyard of someones house. They were incredibly nice, you get to feed the goats, the goats LOVE to be all over you, you get time at the end for photos, and can rent a mat through them.

Drove to top of Haleakala Crater which was recommended from everyone to do at sunrise. However, you are required to book tickets in advance and they had been sold out for months so we just went in the middle of the day on a whim after Goat Yoga. It was cool, but if you’re short on time I think there are cooler things to do. It’s a little chillier up there so bring a sweatshirt. I definitely got sick on the way back down the mountain because of the twists and turns and perhaps the altitude so heads up.

Road to Hana. This was for sure the best part for us, but we like to explore. It’s an ALL day thing so be prepared. We planned it out the night before and used the GyPSy app (download it before you leave because you won’t have a lot of service) and it was AWESOME! Seriously use it the entire trip, not just Road to Hana. Bring extra shoes with you - I wore flip flops but you’d be more comfortable in sneakers but be ready for them to be wrecked if you like to explore and climb rocks, walk, etc like I do, a bathing suit if you want to swim, towel, sunglasses, camera, snacks, and a car charger for your phone. Here is a detailed itinerary of what we did and where we stopped:

Stopped at Ho’okipa Beach to watch surfing,

Hiked at Waikamoi Nature Trail (muddy and rooty),

Garden of Eden where Zach proposed at the Keopuka Rock Overlook which is a scene from Jurassic Park. We bought presents at their little gift shop and took lots of photos here.

Ke’anae Arboretum where you will see rainbow eucalyptus trees and taro fields.

Ke’anae Peninsula where you’ll see lava rocks, big crashing waves, little fishies in tide pools, old church, and lots of locals camping.

Had passion fruit coconut ice cream (vegan) at Coconut Glen’s (delicious)

Mae ate ahi tacos at “Up in Smoke BBQ” (side of road)

Wai’anapanapa Beach is a must! Black sand beach with a crazy lava rock blowhole and sea arch. Zach saw a weasel (they’re invasive in Hawaii.

Got a Gold Coast pineapple at Ono fruit stand on side of road

Stopped on side of road at Wailua Falls. It’s a very tall waterfall that you can see from the road if you don’t want to stop.

Seven Sacred Pools (has an entry fee, but got in free bc of it being the same park as Haleakala State Park). View is incredible and it looks like you’re in another country! You can’t swim in pools anymore because it’s dangerous and they have lepto bacteria from weasels

Skipped bamboo forest hike bc we were tired.

Turned back towards home and stopped at general store right after Hana. The store was full of random stuff, food, light sockets, etc. no AC.

Drove back with gypsy app and learned about history of Hawaii.

It took us 13 hours from Airbnb to Hana and back, but we spent more than normal at Garden of Eden since we got engaged there!

Scuba Diving with Barry. I HIGHLY recommend this as well, and no experience is needed! It was another thing we found on the Air BnB “Experience” section. You will meet Barry and do a mini learning lesson and quiz on shore. Then you get your gear and he takes you out into the ocean. I freaked out during the small lesson in the ocean and almost quit because it was scary to me at first. He was very encouraging, but firm and explained that you CANNOT just shoot up to the top of the water (like I did) because it’s super dangerous. Once I calmed down, I passed my mini test and was able to go out. If you’ve never done it before it’s kind of insane honestly. Nature is freaking crazy! You’ll get to go down by the reefs (you can’t touch them obviously) and see fish. THANK GOD we didn’t see any sharks or anything. The whole time I was like, “Mae if you see a shark you cannot shoot up to the top!” Scary, but worth it. Truly a badass experience. Barry takes photos of you and you can purchase packages. We bought everything because hello, when will I ever do that again?

Ho’okipa Beach to see the resting sea turtles at sunset. This is a MUST! This happened accidentally - basically Zach and I love to talk to the locals when we travel and ask them what we should do. We don’t overly plan our trips in advance and this was recommended to us by a local. Go right before the sun goes down. Park in the parking lot and walk down to the very narrow beach. You will see people surfing and to the right is a small rock wall. You probably won’t notice them at first, but there are giant turtle coming ashore slowly. Do NOT cross that rock wall and do NOT ever, ever touch a sea turtle! Admire with your eyes and enjoy them from a far. You also have to be quiet while you’re there not to disturb the turtles so if you have a screaming child with you, this might not be for you. This is not a “tourist attraction” so only go if you’re going to be respectful.

Kehei Market Place. Just a small shop area run by locals where you can buy souvenirs.

Old Lahaina Luau. This is a MUST! It’s seriously so well organized, you’re greeted with a drink and lei, you walk around listening to amazing live music while stopping at various stations set up to learn about history like learning to throw a net like they did back in the day, learning a dance, get your photo taken at sunset, and more. You will need to book this in advance. I booked it about a month in advance and got sets on the ground closest to the stage which was awesome! The food is buffet style but so incredible and Zach (who is vegan) could actually eat there which was surprising. Everyone is so nice, the drinks are included, and the show is AMAZING. 10/10 you have to go.

Go out one night and admire the stars. We pulled over on the way back from the Luau because it was crazy how many stars you can see!

Molokini snorkel and sea turtle trip. We booked this on a whim through Boss Frogs shop. You will have to wake up early and be on a boat with other people and hope the wind isn’t too bad. We ended up ok because of how early we went out, but did have to leave Molokini because of the wind, but we had already had plenty of time there so we lucked out. You will snorkel there which is awesome and you’ll see a lot of fish, eel, corals, etc! Then they drove us to “Turtle Town” and we got to snorkel again, but this time with sea turtle! Again, don’t touch them and stay out of their way. They are such beautiful creatures! If you get boat sick, I wouldn’t recommend this.

Food:

So look, Zach is vegan so this might not be the best place to read food recommendations as we were limited to only going places that also had something for him.

Maui Tacos

Starbucks

Papaya Sorbet

Joys Place

Nalu’s South Shore Grill

Grandma’s Coffee

Jersey Mikes (look, basic I know but when you’re starving and vegan you do it)

Coconut Glen’s (on Road to Hana)

Up in Smoke BBQ (not vegan on Road to Hana)

Ono Fruit Stand for Gold Coast Pineapple (on Road to Hana)

Veg-out Food truck

Da Nani Pirates Food Truck

Threes Bar and Grill

Beach Street for breakfast (once we found this place we stopped going to Starbucks)

Hawaiian Moons Natural Food (kind of like a tiny Whole Foods)

Old Lahaina Luau (dinner and a show - A MUST)

Mendo Food Truck

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rebeccahpedersen · 6 years

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The Two Sides Of B.C.’s Foreign Buyer’s Tax

TorontoRealtyBlog

I found this to be either highly ironic, or expertly-timed.

Earlier this week, I read an article about the lawsuit filed in British Columbia on behalf of foreign buyers who believe the Foreign Buyer’s Tax is unfair.

Later in the week, the CMHC released a study that shows most Canadians believe that foreign buyers are influencing the price of real estate.

Two courts are at work here: the courts in British Columbia, and the court of public opinion…

By a quick show of virtual hands, does anybody think that foreign buyers have affected the Canadian real estate market, specifically those in BC and Ontario?

Good. You all raised your hands.

Now my second question would involve a slight alteration to the first: Does anybody think that foreign buyers have substantially affected the Canadian real estate market?

Now perhaps the room is split.

To define “substantially” is, of course, a whole other task.

But I think it’s fair to say that in the context of supply and demand, foreign buyers have shifted the curve.

Take a very simple example – there’s a town with 100 properties for sale, and there are 100 buyers. That market is in perfect equilibrium.

But then add, say, five foreign buyers, and suddenly demand exceeds supply, and there’s a deficit.

Now what if you added…….twenty foreign buyers. How much would that have an effect on price?

To suggest that 20% of buyers in Canada are foreign is a massive stretch. And to suggest that, at any point here in Toronto, foreign buyers represented even a double-digit percentage of buyers, is probably an exaggeration as well.

But what about Vancouver?

We know that no matter how hard the CMHC tries, they can not, and never will, come up with any accurate data on the percentage of foreign ownership, anywhere. We can’t even define foreign ownership, because when either a “Permanent Resident,” or, a Canadian Citizen purchases a property in Canada, but the money came from overseas, and the property is really, truly, “owned” by a person overseas, there’s just no way to account for this information.

So then, may we use empirical evidence? And by that, I almost mean opinion, guesstimation, and gut-checks? Because that’s essentially how the folks in Vancouver came to the conclusion that foreign buyers were blowing up their market. And to be quite honest, it’s a measure that I may have used myself, a few times.

Recall the first four months of 2017, which many of us refer to as “the craziest market we’ve ever seen.”

I specifically recall condos that I had for sale downtown, where most of the buyers were, in some way, shape, or form, foreign.

This is an inexact science, and I’m opening myself to criticism here, especially in the obsessively politically-correct social structure of 2018.

But when you look at the name on the offer, the name of the agent, the brokerage the agent belongs to, and then………interact with that agent, you have a pretty good idea where these folks originate.

So having made that inexact, unscientific, possibly-offensive definition, let me go back to early 2017.

Last February, I had a listing for a 1-bedroom condo at Yonge & Front, that produced 15 offers.

How many of the buyers did I suspect had roots in a foreign country? 13.

13 of 15. It was epic.

This trend continued until April when the market changed, and after that, the “foreign-sounding” names went away.

What was going on in the market was not a secret, and as listing agents, we dealt with buyer agents who would tell us that their clients were in China, in reference to the timing of receiving a deposit cheque, or their ability to sign the offer, etc.

This is one case where the “word on the street,” exaggerations and exacerbations aside, would probably be more accurate than some survey that the CMHC sends out.

So where does that leave us now, approaching the summer of 2018?

Well, it leaves us dealing with this:

“Foreign Buyer’s Tax On Trial – But B.C. Claims Crisis Called For Action”

Ah yes, in the wonderful world of 2018, every right is a wrong, and every wrong is a right. Those who have been wronged, rightfully or wrongly, can seek to make things………..right?

Here’s the meat of the CBC article, but click the link above to read it all:

A landmark civil trial kicked off Monday testing the legality of a foreign buyers tax enacted by the province of British Columbia in response to a housing affordability crisis.

The legal battle pits the government against a proposed class of foreign nationals who claim they’ve been discriminated against in violation of the Canadian Constitution.

A lawyer for the province told B.C. Supreme Court Justice Gregory Bowden that the volumes of arguments, affidavits and authorities on display in his courtroom belied the very simple set of circumstances that gave birth to the law.

“There was an affordability crisis in the Greater Vancouver real estate market,” Karen Horsman said as she laid out the justification for the tax.

“Local residents were in effect being priced out of the market.”

Introduced in July 2016 under the previous Liberal government, the tax initially required foreign entities (including foreign nationals) to pay an additional 15 per cent on the purchase of residential property in Greater Vancouver.

The current NDP government increased the amount to 20 per cent in February and expanded its reach to include the Fraser Valley, Capital Regional District, Nanaimo Regional District and the Central Okanagan.

The province has asked Bowden to determine whether or not the tax is legal in a summary trial — as opposed to beginning with a certification hearing on the class action.

The province will argue that the tax is not in breach of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

And that even if it were, the infringement is the kind of reasonable limit allowed given the pressing need for political action in the face of the housing crisis.

The plaintiff, Jing Li, is a Chinese student who moved to Canada in 2013 to complete a master’s degree in public administration.

Weeks prior to the introduction of the tax, she claims she signed a contract for the purchase of a $559,000 home in Langley.

She says the foreign buyers tax added an additional $83,850 to her bill.

What I find more interesting than the lawsuit, and the article itself, is that as mentioned above, there is another story out this week on foreign buyers, only this one is on the public opinion:

“Many Homebuyers Still Believe Foreign Ownership Is Heavily Influencing Housing Prices: CMHC Survey”

From the article:

A study from the Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation released Wednesday found that 68 per cent of Vancouver respondents, 48 per cent of Toronto respondents and 42 per cent of Montreal respondents believe foreign buyers are having “a lot of influence” on their markets and are driving up home prices.

The insight into perceptions around foreign buyers that 30,000 respondents in the three cities shared with the Crown Corporation between September and mid-October is in stark contrast with recent data from Statistics Canada showing foreign buyers own only 4.8 per cent of Vancouver properties and 3.4 per cent of homes in Toronto.

“What is striking is the significant gap between perceptions of the public and available data, so much so that the perception of non-resident ownership takes centre stage when discussing the drivers of price growth,” CMHC’s report said.

Wow, it’s like they took the words right out of my mouth!

Statistics Canada shows that only 3.4% of properties in Toronto are foreign-owned, and if you asked any experienced Toronto real estate agent with listings what they thought, that number would be at least double.

And 48% of Torontonians think that foreign buyers are “having a lot of influence” on the market. To be fair, many of the people surveyed might have absolutely zero evidence, insight, or data to support this, but rather they might just be jaded that they can’t afford what they want, and when offered with the suggestion that foreign ownership is driving up prices, they agreed.

In any event, as the trial in B.C. takes shape, I find the survey results incredibly ironic.

I believe that if you took a poll – with absolute anonymity, of residents of entire country, an overwhelming amount of Canadians would vote to incorporate a foreign buyer’s tax, a ban on foreign ownership, or restrictions of some type, rather than pay more personal income tax.

I mean, why wouldn’t they?

We’re living in very strange times, where nationalism, at all costs, is making a huge comeback in certain countries.

Canada has always been different. Sometimes, a bit too left-leaning for my liking, but somewhat level-headed in the context of the other 200-something countries around the globe.

So as this trial in B.C. takes shape, one has to wonder whether an idea as far-fetched as foreign buyers suing the government of a country in which they’re guests, for imposing a tax as they are (and this is in debate) legally permitted to do, will lead to our government caving-in, and turning face, even as the rest of the country silently sits by and grits their teeth.

And perhaps that’s the issue: people don’t speak up enough.

“People don’t speak up enough.” I can’t believe I just said that, in a time when every human on the planet has a voice, through technology and social media.

But whereas most people choose to take photographs of their salad and put it on Instagram, I don’t know if enough people care to opine on something like whether or not foreigners, who look at a Canadian one-hundred-dollar bill as though it were a penny in the ashtray of their Maserati, should be able to “drive the price of real estate higher for Canadians.”

This trial in B.C., plus the survey from the CMHC coming out in the same week, simply must get people talking about this.

My question is: will the government listen?

If 68% of Vancouver residents believe that foreign buyers are having an influence on the market, then perhaps even more would be in favour of some sort of efforts to curb, or restrict, their ownership.

And what do we make of the fact that non-permanent residents in Hong Kong are subject to a 15% tax on the purchase of real estate, and there’s a similar 18% tax in Singapore?

Could it be that we’re only now seeing this issue take shape?

When I brought this topic up in the office on Thursday, specifically speaking of the case before the B.C. courts, a colleague said, “This will be the last of it.”

I’m not so sure.

I honestly think we’re closer to the beginning of this story, playing out long-term, than we are to the “last of it.”

For those not polled by the CMHC (that means all of you reading this), I’m eager to hear your two cents…

The post The Two Sides Of B.C.’s Foreign Buyer’s Tax appeared first on Toronto Real Estate Property Sales & Investments | Toronto Realty Blog by David Fleming.

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