#def feels unnatural to me but it's interesting and I did my best!

[elshells]

Get To Know My OC(s)

Tagged by the wonderful @writernopal for this one! Check out her post about her character Fay here, it's a fun and engaging read!

Anyway, I'm super excited to do this! I've decided to use this as an opportunity to introduce y'all to Sophia and Janus from Agent Ace, and show off their dynamic (which I have so much fun writing) by putting them through these questions in the style of an interview/group interrogation. That could be neat, right?

Tagging @thewardenofwinter, @obviousknife, @kittensartswriting, @crowandmoonwriting, @jasmineinthenight, and open tag to anyone else who wishes to participate! Of course, if you've already played this game you're not obligated to do so again, but if you'd like an excuse to introduce your little dudes, I'd love to read about them! <3

You call Janus in first. He enters with a confident stride, taking the seat directly in front of you and acknowledging you with a dip of his head. His black hair is short and clean-cut, though faint stubble lines his upper lip and jawline. There's nothing remarkable about his wardrobe—dark and well-worn, with an earring in his left ear—but beneath his form-fitting shirt and charcoal-gray hoodie, you can tell he is powerfully muscular. You'd been warned to tread lightly with this man, knowing that he was a vigilante. Seeing him now, you don't doubt that for a second.

He catches your eye and gives you a smirk, revealing dimples in his cheeks. But although the gesture is meant to be laid-back, his smile doesn't reach his eyes. He fidgets with a hole in his jeans, and there's a hard glint in his dark eyes. He's on edge—you suspect he doesn't trust you.

A moment later, Sophia steps inside and closes the door behind her. Her brown hair is pulled back into a ponytail, and loose, messy strands frame her face. There's a sharp, somewhat angular shape to her eyes, nose, and jaw, contrasting starkly with her soft olive skin. A thick, gray tactical vest sits over a tight black shirt, and her blue cargo pants are padded at the knees and tucked into the top of her combat boots. You recognize her uniform immediately—you knew she was a Harmont Watch agent, but you weren't necessarily expecting her to show up in gear.

Her gloved hand reaches for her waistband, where you notice an empty gun holster. She pauses and recollects herself before she sits down, though you don't miss the cynical look she casts towards Janus through narrowed eyes. Eventually, she looks to you, indifferent but attentive, and you take this as your cue to begin.

1. Are you named after anyone?

Janus: I chose my name after the Roman god of beginnings, endings, transitions, etcetera, etcetera. What about you, Colbo?

Immediately, his voice catches you off-guard. It's deep, but smooth and velvety, and he could almost be described as soft-spoken. It's a pleasant sound to your ears, for sure.

Sophia: Nope.

Janus: Sure, fair enough. But what about your alias? Please, enlighten us.

Sophia: *sighs deeply* Have you ever played a game of cards?

Janus: Of course they have. The ace has the highest rank, right? What does that say about you?

Sophia: It says we're belaboring the point.

You'd been informed of Sophia's past life as a Guardian, although you don't have many details. You're curious to know more, but her tone is rough and uncompromising. Whether it's Janus that's causing her annoyance, or you, you're unsure. But, for her sake, you move on.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Sophia: During my last mission as a Guardian, the Watch agent I was shadowing got caught in an ambush. I tried to intervene, but I ended up getting hurt. I woke up a couple days later in the medical ward to the news that he didn't survive. That...

She trails off. Her voice is surprisingly matter-of-fact, like such a traumatic memory couldn't possibly shake her. Ironically, it's the split-second smile she flashes you that tells you that that couldn't be further from the truth.

Janus: I don't remember. Next question

His voice is suddenly sharp. You get the sense that he's holding back, and there's a challenging look in his eye. Once again, you figure it's best not to push it.

3. Do you have kids?

Sophia: No, and I'm pretty sure I speak for both of us on that matter. Ahren and I are both on the ace spectrum, but even if we weren't, I don't have time to commit to being a parent, biological or otherwise. And, just to be frank, I would pity Janus' partner and child.

Janus: Uncalled for, I would be an outstanding father. That being said, I don't want kids.

Sophia's jab may have been calculated (though Janus took it with a sense of humor), but you're relieved to see that both of them seem to have relaxed. The tension isn't completely gone, but at least, with this question, you don't feel like you're pushing boundaries.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Sophia: Sure, if the situation calls for it.

Janus: *scoffs* Who do you think I am?

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Sophia: Usually their expressions. I tend to remember faces first, and the rest comes later. Also, most people don't think to control their reactions, and in my line of work, it's important to make note of that.

Janus: Body language. Tells you a lot about a person.

He gives you a wink and leans back in his chair. What he's supposedly picked up on you, you have no idea.

6. What's your eye color?

Sophia: Hazel.

Janus: Black.

7. Scary Stories or Happy Endings?

Sophia: Scary stories for sure, especially as a kid.

She smiles again—but this time, it's genuine.

Janus: Agreed. Though I'll admit to being a huge sucker for happy endings. It's nice when things actually work out.

8. Any special talents?

Sophia: Marksmanship. I'm an excellent shot.

Janus: There are several, but that's for you to find out.

It's not really an answer, but with the pointed (and admittedly insufferable) look that accompanies it, you're guessing it's the only one he's willing to share. Sophia gives a huff.

Sophia: I can think of a few off the top of my head.

Janus: Hush. That wasn't for you.

9. Where were you born?

Sophia: Harmont. I grew up in a tiny suburb in Skyline, but moved downtown when I joined the Watch.

Janus: I assume I was also born somewhere in the city, but I actually grew up as a lab rat.

Sophia: Wait, really?

Janus: No... of course not.

10. What are your hobbies?

Sophia: Depends on what you define as a hobby. I could talk about target practice again, except that's purely occupational. I do enjoy hiking and swimming, and just being active in general whenever I have some time to myself.

Janus: I have a sword. Leave that up to your imagination.

11. Do you have any pets?

Sophia: No. Ahren and I have talked about adopting in the past, but I wouldn't be able to help take care of it.

Janus: I've pet stray dogs in alleys and on sidewalks. Does that count?

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Sophia: The Guard offers several martial arts classes for different circumstances. I took karate and Taekwondo as a part of my training, and I was also a swimmer in high school.

Janus: I'm more of a jiu-jitsu guy myself, but I learned Muay Thai at the same time, and I've dabbled in both karate and Taekwondo.

Sophia: Doesn't seem wise to spread your focus like that.

Janus: Hey, blame my handler, not me. A vigilante lifestyle is intense. But, speaking of which, I've been doing yoga lately, and it's truly life-changing. Really helps release tension in the muscles and the mind. You should give it a try, Colbo.

Sophia: Sure, right after I sweep the floor with your ass in a karate match.

Janus: Ha! Challenge accepted.

13. How tall are you?

Sophia: 5'6.

Janus: 5'10.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Janus: Let me guess for you, Colbo. Sports?

Sophia: That's an extracurricular, not a subject.

Janus: Isn't it, though?

Sophia: *through gritted teeth* Anyway. I enjoyed school, for the most part. I liked math and history the best, but I also had a great Spanish teacher.

Janus: Illuminating. I was homeschooled. Sort of. But I don't feel like I missed out on much by not attending a real school. I'm probably a better person because of it.

Sophia: Oh, yeah. You're just the picture of an upstanding citizen.

Janus: You know it.

15. Dream job?

Sophia: I've wanted to be a Guardian ever since I was little, and I did make it there eventually. Now, I'm an agent of the Watch, and honestly? I'm happy with where I am. It's not much easier, but it's fulfilling in its own way.

Janus: I'm living it, baby. Wouldn't change a thing.

You're no mind reader, but these both sound like truthful statements—at least, to some extent. As you dismiss Sophia and Janus, you wonder exactly how much they didn't tell you, and why.

This was so, so much fun to write (witty banter always is), but also a lot harder than I expected! Sophia and Janus are both very guarded people, especially around each other, so I knew it wouldn't be easy to get them to open up. But I would absolutely love to do this again, with another character or two! :D

#oof I'm not used to writing in the second person #or present tense #def feels unnatural to me but it's interesting and I did my best! #anyways hope y'all were entertained by these two #self reblogging with tags because I goofed and forgot to add them the first time around #tag game #open tag #interview with your oc #get to know my oc #wip: agent ace #oc: sophia colbo #oc: janus #writeblr

[burnedbyshoto]

scoops

— In what was to be a summer of excitement, love, and adventure, you’re doomed to a summer working a job to pay some bills. But hey, who said romance still wouldn’t find a way to work while working at Scoops Ice Cream Parlor? —

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

pairing: kaibara sen x reader

warnings: fluff, cursing, modern!au, ice cream shop!au

word count: 6,361

a/n: this is for the bnharem summer collab!!!! I am so very tired, when am I not at this point... um... yes, kaibara is def my fav class 1-b boy, sorry not sorry.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

The best part about summer… well, you really couldn’t begin to list what you loved about it. There was no bad part about summer. Sure, the days were hot and humid, but they were long and bright for so long you could go and do things for countless hours. You were able to stay out in the sun and feel the heated rays against your skin — road trips with friends and days when you had no sleep and those when you only slept.

Summer was indeed the best time of the year.

This summer was supposed to be the best, with your saved money from working at the student store for this last semester, you were ready to go places with your friends. Explore the unknown all in the name of youth.

There indeed wasn’t anything better about this time of the year than that. 

Cute clothes, cute bathing suits, and cute accessories, as you trailed out of your classroom with your final finally done and completed, you were ready to zoom on toward home.

This was going to be the best summer ever, you thought, your heart racing in anticipation at the thought of your best friend pulling up at your home with a car full of friends. Your parents waving you off as you descended into the purpling and pink sky with nothing but an uproarious scream and celebration.

You really hoped you’d find someone attractive… maybe a summer fling?!

You giggled at the thought, your face warming even more under the deep sun rays, your body avoiding passing commuters.

This was going to be your summer!

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“You’re… you’re kidding me,” you deadpanned staring at your mother, who was in a full-body cast. 

She looked at you with a sheepish emotion on her face, her eyes full of sorrow yet no pain. The moment you had gotten home and had switched from your finals outfit to something more practical, you had gotten a phone call from the hospital. It seems that your mother, in all her clutz, had tumbled down the staircase at her work. Through this, she managed to break both arms and legs, two ribs and broke her collarbone. 

“M… Mom,” you groaned at the way she was laughing in total embarrassment; after all, miraculously, she was in little pain despite being hospitalized. “How did this happen?! Why did you — oh my god…” 

“There was a mosquito flying by my head, and well… I tripped and fell,” she laughed loudly, smiling in gratitude when the nurse came to adjust her pillows. 

“Why were you even leaving the office?! It isn’t even lunchtime for you, and you always eat lunch on the roof?” you questioned more, your arms folding across your arms. 

“Well, um… you know how there have been cuts at the office, I just… I was let go,” she whispered in a small voice, face twisted with embarrassment and shame. While you wanted to feel sorry for your mother because after all, she had suffered horrendously, there was a quick realization of what those words meant.

Medical insurance was now gone.

“How are we going to pay for this?!”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

Having to wave your friends away with tears rolling down your face was hard. Their faces sullen at the fact that you had handed over your entire job savings to begin paying off the massive debt your mother built in a single minute. You also knew you couldn’t return to your job at the university, they were closed during this time.

There wasn’t much you could even find while looking around. Your resume wasn’t strong enough to earn jobs that would help your future career, not when competing against graduate students. The local shops and malls were already filled to completion; they always prioritized the highschoolers anyways. 

You had almost thought it was pointless to even be searching until you stumbled across a corner ice cream parlor. It was the closest ice cream parlor to your house, and if you thought hard enough, you definitely remembered coming when you were small, and fortunately for you, they were hiring on the spot.

So here you were, in an old t-shirt, shorts, an apron fastened on, and your hair free from your face. The owner of the ice cream parlor showed you around, pointing at the different things that were lying about. He was a simple tour guide, he had told you, a simple introduction to what was lying about. Your coworkers would be the ones to teach you how to create the unique menu items, teach you how to work behind the scenes. 

The smile on your face was stiff and very unnatural as he showed you about, stories of the old employee he had that had quit on him because they were moving suddenly. It was apparently a struggle for him to find willing workers at this time. He was also sure to name off the three other employees that worked here, and by the sounds of it, two of the three names were retired people who were so bored that they sought out a low-stakes job.

“Ah, there he is!” he exclaimed, his hands thrusting outwards as a tall, dark-haired man emerged from the back, a gallon of ice cream in his hands while he looked lost in thought. “This is Kaibara Sen! My youngest…er, second youngest employee now! He will be handling your training, he is very competent and well… a much better explainer than I am!” 

You tried not to stare too much at the man, but he was for lack of a better term, beautiful. Dark hair, brown eyes, and a look on his face that just told you he definitely did not want to be here… it was basically love at first sight for you. 

“Kaibara, this is y/l/n, our newest member of the family here at Scoops!” the owner exclaimed, his cheeks warm and his body brimming with excitement. “Please explain everything, I have to go now! My daughter should be out of school, and I have to go pick her up!”

You watched in silent awkwardness as the man picked up all his items and rushed out of there without a single word. Smiling awkwardly, you returned your attention to Kaibara, who was studying you without saying a word. Your smile began to pinch at your cheeks, the strain of the faux smile beginning to tire you out to completion while he changing the empty gallon of ice cream for the new one — you had to will yourself from staring at the very, very nicely toned arms of his. 

“Hold this,” he spoke, his voice low and flat, almost entirely passive and bored while he pushed the empty cardboard into your arms. You hitched a breath in your surprise, your head nodding in your overall confusion. 

The tub was cold in your arms, contradicting the overall harsh rays of the sun. You watched as he turned on his heel, moving back to the door, and you stayed put, your eyes wide in confusion and your increasing inability to stop checking him out. “Are you going to stand there all day, or are you going to follow?”

Blood flooded to your face in your embarrassment, your head dropping while you rushed after him.

Needless to say, your first day on the job was an interesting one.

While your first impression of Kaibara was that he was hot enough to melt you into a puddle, you found yourself at a quick and immovable realization that he was an overall dick. He was disgustingly bland, his tone only riling you up when he crudely pointed out your mistakes and issues. He had explained to you in five minutes how the entire ice cream parlor worked — yes, in five minutes, and yes, he expected that you memorized and retained all that information.

Refill the ice cream when there’s only five centimeters left. Don’t touch the soft-serve ice cream machine because it often broke. Don’t flirt with any customers, don’t destroy the whip cream swirls on the ice cream sundaes. Don’t ever go into the freezer without someone knowing, don’t forget to clean the counters every hour if it isn’t that busy, don’t forget… well, you got it. There were many don’t’s in his vocabulary surrounding the rules and regulation of this ice cream parlor. Furthermore, he had thrown you to the wolves because the moment he finished up the rules here at Scoops where they ‘live to bring a lick of happiness one scoop at a time,’ a customer had walked in and of course, because beginners luck was not a thing, ordered the hardest thing on the menu.

Your back had never been sweatier, and your arms trembled as he practically breathed down your neck. There was no stopping this incessant mother birding of his, and your ears seared with heat when he called you out for every mistake you made.

“I thought I told you to not do that!” he muttered just loud enough for the customer to ask with worry if everything was okay. 

The second you had handed of the quad-layered ice cream sundae that was most definitely a kickstarter to diabetes did you almost collapse in gratefulness of being done with that wretched thing. The customer did, however, frown significantly at the sight of the very ugly sundae, and you wanted to collapse in your failure. 

The two of you were not… compatible coworkers, and that was apparent as the summer sun while the day went on.

He ridiculed your every technique, he frowned at the way your voice pitched when you welcomed customers, scoffed when you were overly sweet because he would love to see you being that kind in a month, and he glared a hole through your head the moment you tried to socialize while there was nothing to do.

So when the summer sun had set for the night and your arm burned from the repetitive and laborious action of scooping ice cream all day, you walked out of Scoops with a wavering bottom lip. This was going to be a long summer.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“For someone who’s been here a whole year more than me, I’d’ve thought you were better than this,” you sang, pocketing the extra cash you got as a bonus for the fantastic and helpful review you had gotten on Yelp. Yes, America’s disaster of an app had finally made its way to Japan, and three weeks ago, your boss said anyone with a useful review on top of a five-star recommendation would get a bonus. You were always getting it. “What was that you were saying when I first began? Don’t suck? Hm, well, I think you need to get that under control on your own part.”

Kaibara rolled his eyes so hard you swore you could hear him do it. You tried not to allow the prideful smirk to become too apparent while you went about your shift reorganizing the front of the store. You had just managed through a demanding crowd of children, couples, and the elderly, and it was a mess. 

It had only been the two of you today, too (the owner only worked the register, leaving the two of you to make the orders). While there was no getting along for either of you, there was a good work ethic between you that allowed you to work efficiently together. But of course, the teasing and taunting from your voice while you graciously took the extra cash made Kaibara seethe.

It was an unspoken, spoken competition between the two of you, and to make things worse for the environment between everyone, the both of you sorely got along. 

He had called you incompetent, you called him lazy. He called you a useless employee, you called him fifth-rate at best. There was just a lot of tension between you and the man you had once thought was painfully attractive.

“It doesn’t count when you beg customers for the comment. Of course, they’re gonna take pity on you and your ass life; why do you think people give spare change to the homeless?” Kaibara smoothly stated, his fingers digging the cleaning rag harder onto a piece of fallen dried, sticky ice cream.

You nearly cracked the waffle cones in your gloved hands.

“At least I’m the one with the extra cash in your pocket!”

“It fell out actually, free change now,” Kaibara stated, pointed at the rolled money on the floor and quickly scooping it from the floor well before you could snatch it. 

Your face twisted when you ended a near chest to chest with him, his eyes seeming to read you entirely while you definitely met his gaze, yet also managed to look cities away. Your upper lip curled with your frustration, and you shoved his chest, grabbing at the money in his hand.

Unfortunately for you, he was both quicker than you, stronger than you, and taller than you. He merely rose his clenched fist well above his head and smirked at how your face blanched at his actions.

“You’re a fucking dick!” you yelled, your hands latching onto his bicep and pulling down with all your strength. “Give me my damn tip!”

“It was on the ground, it’s finders keepers,” was his smooth response, his arm somehow freakishly strong enough to fight off your full weight and stay defiantly up. 

Well, you definitely understood why no one liked working with the two of you, you were both annoying together. 

“Kaibara Sen, if you don’t give me back my damn money right now, I will—” you were interrupted by how his lips pulled past his teeth into a fierce, biting grin.

“You’ll what? Punch me? It hasn’t hurt the last ten times you’ve tried.” He taunted you with no mercy, his head tilting just the slightest bit to further his point and to have your blood pumping yet again.

“That’s only because I wasn’t trying before!” you counter, your fingers pressing into his palm, your nails beginning to dig into his flesh while he tried not to let on that it hurt.

“You’ll have a friend of yours write a five-star review for you, and write a complaint about me?” he asked, bringing back to light the one time that your friends left not one, but fifteen five-star reviews. Of course, a handful of them had also decided to include that they were not happy with the treatment they received from Kaibara — not that it was possible given that they were not anywhere near here. 

“Well, I didn’t know they were going to do that! All I was doing was exchanging stories about how I was working while they were all out having fun!” you attempt to defend, but it sounds weak because well, it happened.

“Ah, okay, I’ll try to remember that when I have my friends doing the same to you,” Kaibara sarcastically smiled, his arm finally dropping so that his fist was in your face, but it still remained defiantly closed. “I mean it’s only fair, and they didn’t abandon me on a whole summer long getaway!”

“I told them it was okay to leave, you jerk!” you grit out, your fingers trying to slip under his so that you could rip the money from his hand, but yours were beginning to sweat.

“Ouch, a jerk? Don’t hurt my feelings, please y/n, it’s making me tear up,” Kaibara sighed, his eyes very much interested in the way you were failing to get his fingers to open up.

“D-Don’t call me y/n! We are not friends enough for you to try acting casual with me!”

“Should I call you y/l/n-sama instead?”

“W… WHAT?!”

“Yeah, sounded weird to me too. I mean, after all, I don’t garner any respect for you, so why would I use that, to begin with!”

If you were a bird, you were absolutely positive that your feathers would be bristled and standing while you glared up at Kaibara with a near snarl on your lips. He matched your glare, his typically passive eyes ignited while the both of you neared in this hate-filled magnetism. 

“Would you two please stop! This is the time for summer flings! Not swinging fists!” 

The both of you whirled around to see your practically sobbing employer watch on with tears rolling down his face. He had been the most disheartened at the fact that both you did not get along at all, it was his biggest regret he had said many times over. While both of you did not fly twenty meters apart, Kaibara’s fist relaxed, and you managed to retrieve your money back from him with a satisfied ‘hmph’ before turning around.

Really you knew both of you together were insufferable. But to your credit, both of you were always civil in front of the customers. Well, at least polite enough for no one to speak up. But as you returned to your place by the corner to continue cleaning with your rag, you couldn’t help but look behind you at Kaibara, who was also staring back at you.

What an insufferable prick!

He stared at you, his lips pressing into a smile that you refused to admit made your heart hammer just the slightest bit faster in your chest, and the moment he caught on, the smile became a smirk before his tongue stuck out, and his finger pulled at his eye — or in other words, he threw you an Akanbe… well, your boss then had a ten-minute talk about how it was not okay to throw dirty rags at your coworkers.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

It wasn’t that Kaibara didn’t like you.

No, of course not, there was no point in garnering unpleasant feelings towards someone who didn’t matter to him at the end of the day, but sometimes… sometimes he really thought you being a piece of shit just to enact rage and violence from him. After all, as part of working at the ice cream parlor, their break time leisure was always brought with a free sundae with whatever you wanted because you worked, and tips were only really brought in by the rare American tourist.

But you were doing this on purpose. 

“I want to add a caramel and chocolate drizzle, don’t forget to add peanuts… should I get whipped cream??? Is there enough??? I know we used almost half of our weekly supply on one kid?” Kaibara watched as you stroked your chin, ordering your custom-made sundae while you created this sugar-sweet dessert based on what he hated to create. “You know what… yes, I want some whipped cream, but I also thought that you could maybe smash it up like at Cold Stone? It makes it easier to eat.”

“I’ll spit in your ice cream if you make me do that.” Kaibara deadpanned, his fingers twitching on the serving spoons. If he was going to smash your toppings on the counter, he just cleaned, he was going to throw this in your face.

“And violate Healthcode Section 242?!” you gasped loudly, almost offended that he would do such a thing, and he wondered if you were pulling a number out of your ass. “Do it, I dare you! I really would like to have you replaced!”

He watched you triumphantly stick your nose in the air, your lips set in a victorious grin, but he just sighed. “You’re a fucking pain in my ass.”

You seemed to have expected that from him, but you still played it off in a shocked manner with your hands pressing to your cheeks in your horrified expression.

“Oh thank goodness, I thought for a second there you were going to say something horrendously rude!” you laugh, your hands stretching out for your finished sundae, and he watched your tongue wet your lips while you brought it close to you. “My mom tells me that all the time, and she’s still in a full-body cast.”

“And that’s relevant because?” he asked, his eyes blinking slowly, his head tilting in his faux boredom — he wouldn’t admit it, but he was never bored with you around.

“Nope, totally irrelevant! But I figured your life is so boring that my daily news about my bedridden mother must be like what Fashion Week is for Youtubers,” you chide, walking over to an empty table and plopping down on the chair with overdramatic confidence and slight exhaustion.

“I think maybe you should stop talking and eat that ice cream before your break is over.” he returned, his hip pressing into the cold counter while he cleaned up the small mess he had made creating your monster of a snack.

“You’re probably right… your small brain needs a break.”

Your words were nothing new, but he still stared at you with a growing smirk while you brought your spoon of ice cream to your mouth and took your first big satisfying bite… well, that was until you tasted it. “EW! HEY! KAIBARA! THIS IS FUCKING DISGUSTING WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SUNDAE?!”

“I added cherry sauce.” He shrugged, his arms folding across his chest while your face fell, your spoon digging into the sweet cream to shove the black sauce, which was not chocolate, to the side.

“THAT’S THE—”

“Worst? I know!” Kaibara nearly snorted at the defeated, almost depressing look that overcame his face. He wanted to dig more at you because of that, but was unfortunately interrupted when the front door opened and in came a customer. “Oh, welcome.”

He didn’t want to look away from the fact that you were pouting and eating your sundae still; your guilt of wasting food outweighing your distaste much more. But a weird twist of his stomach made his eyebrows scrunch when he noticed how the incoming customer stared at you. It was a look of interest, and while he didn’t even like you, why was he feeling like this.

He ignored it, shaking his head, he focused on the customer who said they were still looking, and he sighed.

It meant nothing… right?

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

Well, it finally happened. 

Today was your day off, but at precisely 12:35 p.m., your phone violently buzzed with an incoming call from your boss. You had been out on the backyards lawn trying to sunbathe with your towel on the dirt floor, trying to live the best summer experience you could. Your music had been blasting, so when the call came, you quickly picked it up to figure who was calling and why.

“Hello?”

“Y/N WE NEED YOU IN THE SHOP RIGHT NOW! THE EVENT IS CRAZY RIGHT NOW, AND THERE’S A LINE OUT THE DOOR! I’LL GIVE YOU OVERTIME JUST GET HERE NOW!”

There wasn’t even a chance to argue, a chance to say you were doing more important things, because the line ended immediately and you groaned loudly. To work it was, it seemed. 

It took you fifteen minutes to get to Scoops Ice Cream Parlor, and you were surprised, to say the least, about how false your boss’s statement was. It wasn’t a line out the door, it was a line that went out the door and wrapped around the block?! 

You locked eyes with Kaibara, who was also apparently called in today, and he merely raised an eyebrow at you before continuing what he was doing. In forty-five seconds flat, you had managed to get yourself ready to assist and were on it. 

It was times like this that everyone was grateful for how efficiently you and Kaibara worked together, as odd as it was. The two of you worked on multiple orders together, passing things off to one another, gathering items, and sharing. It was done wordlessly, effortlessly, and efficiently; it indeed was not a reflection of how you two behaved normally. 

In an hour and a half, the line had finally reached the last ten people, and you could almost cry in relief. 

“Ah! A soft served vanilla ice cream with a chocolate drizzle! Y/n!” your boss commanded, and you nodded, your sweating cheek pressing to your shoulder to wipe whatever you could off. Without a word, you went back to the soft serve machines and without so much of a thought, pulled on the lever. 

You quickly realized that pulling on that lever was a mistake, not a mistake you purposefully made, but a mistake. 

Do not touch the soft-serve machine because it often broke… that’s what Kaibara told you all those weeks ago, but when he meant broken, he didn’t mean it didn’t produce ice cream. No, no, no. That would be too nice by the universe, after all! When he said it broke, you never expected the soft-serve ice cream to begin to pour from the machine, with no stop in sight. 

“OH NO!”

The white vanilla cream poured endlessly from the machine, and you shrieked while trying to keep it on the cone you brought with you, but you were no expert in making those Instagram famous towers. Eventually, you watched in horrific slow motion as the ice cream tipped over and splattered on the floor, and in your moment of not knowing what to do, you attempted to gather the ice cream in your hands instead of letting it fall to the floor.

“Oh my god, stop! Please stop!” you chanted, your hands jiggling onto the lever hoping that it would make it stop, but it was to no avail.

With every passing second, your arm filled with more ice cream, growing colder and stickier with every moment. 

“What the fuck is taking you so long — oh my god!”

“KAIBARA PLEASE HELP ME!!!!” you sobbed, feeling like a pathetic toddler of all things as your foot desperately tried to drag the trash can near you to keep the building icecream from falling onto the floor, but your legs were too short it seemed. 

“What did you do?!” he hissed, running over slamming the trash can near you, but slipped on the fallen cone and crashed into you. 

Much like how the ice cream cone had fallen in slow motion, Kaibara crashing into you, exploding the armful of ice cream gathered in your arms everywhere, sent you both to the ground. 

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!” you sobbed in your hysteric laughter, the both of you now fumbling on the ground, the ice cream quickly seeping past the threads of the apron to seep into your clothes and burn your bodies slowly. “YOU MADE THIS SO MUCH WORSE!”

“Oh my god, would you stop?! Please stop yelling!”

“Get off me first! You’re so heavy!”

“The floors are so damn slippery, I can’t!”

“Roll off, you idiot!”

It was a chaotic, wild attempt by the two of you to calm down the machine that wouldn’t stop spitting out ice cream until it was empty. While no one else had seen the two of yours struggles to get into your feet (a feat that took twenty minutes and provided hilarious footage for your coworkers who watched it before closing), the both of you couldn’t speak of what happened without feeling like you needed to crumble away. 

Thankfully, both of you were sent home afterward, before the ice cream could glue into your skin. But as you were walking out, your arms not being able to bend at the disgusting horror of the sticky firmness of the dried ice cream on your skin, you were surprised when a hand grabbed your shoulder and stopped you. 

“I wanted to apologize,” Kaibara says the second you turn to look at him. 

“What?” you stupidly respond, your eyes blinking rapidly as if you couldn’t understand him. 

“I wanted to apologize about how I’ve been… how I’ve been behaving. We aren’t really friends, but after all that today, I just… can we start over?”

And somehow those four little words sparked a friendly fire in your core, and your lips stretched into a smile as sweet as the ice cream on your body. 

“Yeah, I think we can.”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

This date was going horribly.

About nine days ago, a customer had walked in, seen you moping with an ice cream sundae made by Kaibara with black cherry sauce, and had asked you out. You were sure what exactly willed you into saying yes; after all, you didn’t know the guy personally, but here you were. Without wanting to seem rude, you definitely thought this date was going horrendously, and you wanted to get out, not that this man noticed anyways.

“Do you want to get some ice cream?” he asked, a smile spreading on his face while both of you exited the movie theater.

You thought about it, Kaibara wasn’t working today if you remembered correctly, and with Scoops being the only ice cream joint nearby, you weren’t about to stroll in on a date with him there. Since the whole broken soft-serve ice cream machine, both of you had taken to be friends like honey and flies. 

The bickering didn’t stop, not one single bit, but the tone and the atmosphere behind the genuine arguments no longer felt like an introduction to some World War and now instead teasing and playing between friends. However, admitting and seeing that you were friends brought up an issue that you never thought was going to happen again — you once more found yourself attracted to the dark-haired man.

Yes, like some overzealous whore, you were out on a date while having very real feelings for your coworker.

But well, going back to whether you should go get ice cream, it would give you yet another reason to speak up at all.

“Sure!”

But of course, summer was not being your friend this summer it seemed, because when he held open the all too familiar front door, and you walked in with a grateful smile. You felt your heart twist and die the second that Kaibara walked out from the back, his already neutral face falling into stony coldness at the sight of you and your date.

“Welcome,” was his unwelcoming call. 

Please let there be some freak accident that causes time to reset so you wouldn’t have to do this, you prayed, trying to calm the blood that threatened to rush to your face while your date began to talk to Kaibara. Your eyes glued immediately over onto the menu as if you hadn’t already memorized everything up there. Still, even with your attention very focused on the menu, you knew by heart already, you could feel those dark, nearly black eyes piercing through you. 

When Kaibara was asked to cover a coworkers shift today, he expected it to be busier than it was today. He guessed that’s just how it was at times when the heat of the summer day failed to make anyone want any ice cream, but while it was nice to get paid without doing much work, it definitely sucked doing nothing. Which is why when the front door chime sounded, he offered to take on the customer… but he didn’t expect to see you here with some random guy. 

He didn’t know why it bothered him really, the both of you were finally getting along superbly but seeing you there next to some guy who was trying to talk about just how amazed he was by all the ice cream flavors and how he met you here soured his mood intensely. At the same time, he continued to look at you. You were staring at the menu; he knew you could recite to the very typo on the board because he had riled you into memorizing it within the first week. 

But when your sheepish gaze met his, Kaibara did not want to admit that the bizarre emotions he was feeling both disappeared altogether and intensified utterly. 

“What d’ya want, y/l/n?” he asked you after taking down this assholes order. He took to your gaze, trying not to have some lame physical reaction to how he felt when your eyes warmed at the sight of him. 

It meant nothing, it meant nothing, it meant nothing. 

“I’ll have the caramel banana sundae,” you ordered with a smile while your date grinned after your selection. 

“You really order the worst things on this menu, don’t you?” he couldn’t help but jab, knowing you would instantly focus on this mindless banter. 

“Kaibara, I swear, say that to my face one more time!” you instinctively yelled. Although you were here on some date, he would confirm later (and would then have to internally admit that he was, in fact, jealous) he liked the fact that you spent the majority of your date in here talking to him.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

Sometimes you really wished that arresting the sun was an actual concept. 

Why in the world was it even legal for the temperature to be 114°F and for workplaces to still be expected to run normally. God, it was so hot that it only felt normal in your ice cream parlor employment that your only moment of grace was when you walked into the back freezers. 

“I think I’m slowly dying,” you whispered to Kaibara while you arranged the ice cream for the waiting customers. 

Today had been reasonably busy, everyone coming in and exclaiming that they needed some ice cream to combat the summer sun, and you always nodded in agreement. But you guessed despite the blistering heat that couldn’t even stay away from the ice cream shop, you appreciated being able to suffer together with Kaibara. 

“If you die and leave me here, I will kill you.” Kaibara’s eyes narrowed at you, and you laughed, shoving him with your shoulder. 

“Good luck!”

You handed the ice cream concoctions to the family and watched as they seem delighted to have it before walking away. 

After a perfect steady flow of customers, the parlor was at the moment empty, and you looked at the different ice cream gallons in search to see which needed to be refilled. You counted five, and you cringed, the both of you had been slacking it seemed. 

“Come help me switch out the ice cream,” you demanded, spinning on your heel and marching off back towards the freezer. 

Since your date, it had been… awkward with Kaibara, you hated to admit it.

The fact that he had seen you on a date was never again brought up, but it seemed that maybe it should have been considering the very awkwardness that bled into your relationship. Sure, he was beyond pleasant with you; as a matter of fact, there was hardly any bickering between the two of you because whenever it started, he would bite his tongue to keep from returning any of your lines — and you knew he had some comebacks. 

You walked into the freezer first, reciting the ice cream flavors that needed to be replaced like a mantra to avoid multiple trips to and from the freezer. With Kaibara coming in behind you, you immediately walked over towards the frozen gallons and began to pull out the flavors that you needed to take. 

“How’s your boyfriend?” Kaibara asked suddenly while you placed two of the gallons onto the floor so that you could grab the other ones. 

You felt your spine stiffen at his words, your eyes wide while you turned behind you to see that Kaibara had also grabbed another two of the flavors which lead you with one more, which was nearest to you. 

“Not my boyfriend,” you corrected awkwardly, your ears burning while you walked carefully over to the gallon in the far back wall. “I didn’t like him, I was promised a free ticket to a movie, and you know with my mom and everything I couldn’t pass it up.”

Without even looking at him, you knew that Kaibara had nodded his head in understanding.

“So you don’t like him?” he asked, his voice seeming to come from a few steps behind you, which caused a shiver to roll down your spine, but you mentally blamed it on the freezing air. 

“No, I um… I like someone else,” you respond honestly, trying not to let on your embarrassed and flustered state while trying to take the gallon of ice cream out from the rack but was currently failing. “Stupid fucking ice cream!”

But your frustration towards the ice cream container was quickly and almost immediately forgotten the second his unexplainably warm hands grabbed onto your shoulders and spun you around. Your eyes widened at the sight of his slight shaggy black hair falling onto his eyes while he looked at you and then down at your lips.

“Am I that someone else?” he asked, and all the air in your lungs froze over and died. He read you like a book, and the soft chuckle that left his lips made your body vibrate with warmth as he nodded his head in perfect understanding. “Lucky guess, huh… you think I can kiss you, y/n?”

A simple sentence crossed his tongue, and yet your mind spun at his words as if he had offered you only the greatest riches in the world, and you found yourself nodding your head while reaching up to meet his own eager lips into a scorching kiss. You weren’t sure how long the kiss lasted, only knowing that with your fingers twisted into his soft locks, his fingers digging into your waist and keeping you breathlessly near, and the buzz that came alive with your dancing lips. He inexplicably and irrevocably overwhelmed you, and the near frantic breathing that passed through your nose was evidence of that. 

By the time you two parted, you felt the world turn into some rose gold haze while you stared up at his smiling face.

The two of you would later find out that you had been locked in the freezer together, but on the hottest day of the year, next to someone who kissed you with enough intensity and passion that the freezer couldn’t even make you shiver, it was all okay.

#kaibara x reader #kaibara sen x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #mha x reader

[elegiesforshiva]

This is a review for the amazing sasusaku fanfic Perpetual Winter by @thefangirlslair It’s a brilliant modern AU and I highly recommend it!!!  You can read it on fanfiction.net or tumblr :)))) FF: c l i c kkkk Tumblr: Part I, Special Chapter, Part II And time for a criminally late and obscenely long review!!!

Pt I

Winter has never been his favorite season

Damn what an intro, I’m already getting angst vibes lmao.  I really like how you set the scene and stage the world of this AU.  I didn’t expect the existence of clans in this piece, with it being a modern AU, but this is such a fascinating twist on the setting to me. I loved how you described Naruto’s endurance as unnatural, “like there’s a demon living inside him” and Sasuke and his clan have inexplicable warmth….inexplicable do I dare say…fire ???? ;))))))

Lmao seriously what a great way to pay homage to canon though.  I love these attributes!

Modern au Sasuke that reads poetry and drinks coffee is a brand of pretentiousness I can get behind

Aaaaaaa omg I really REALLY REALLY fucking love this intro!  I love how you describe Sasuke as appreciating liveliness, and vibrance—which we can honestly assume is canon with how his two closest people are the embodiment of these traits.  And I love how you tie it back into the seasons.  This really gives so much life to that motif in this story, and the title. That was clever af

…he was taken back to the time where winter was just a mere season, Bon Iver was playing on their shared earphones, and Sakura was his. 

WHAT THE FUCK YOU JUST FUCKING DESTROYED ME WHAT A WAY TO SEGWAY INTO THE NEXT SCENE OOOOF IM KSJDFHLJSAKFL

There are so many things I love about this following scene…  you really know how to write a couple in casual, mutual love.  The banter and candidness of their interaction just has me floored. I also REALLY love that this is from Sasuke’s perspective, and how even though he doesn’t have an overwhelming amount of dialogue, we’re in his head, and his appreciation and love for Sakura just radiates.  Lines like these:  

From her latest discovered band to a recent discovery in medicine by a genius dude whose name he doesn’t even remember, she shares it with him. Favorite anime character, favorite memory with him, favorite pair of underwear — he knows it all because she’s that open to him about things she love.

They’re just….so good. I can hear his voice, his ardor, and his impeccable understanding of Sakura’s personality while also expressiong his own.  The choice of having the narrative skewed through his lens was def a good decision. And ugh this piece is just overwhelmingly amazing already

He doesn’t know the pain to be dealt with when you’ve broken up with someone because Sakura was his first girlfriend. And honestly, he doesn’t, couldn’t, even think about being apart from her. Just the thought of them breaking up already makes him panic a little. He always thought to himself, ‘I will never let that happen.’

Okay this paragraph……………this paragraph tho……..dropping this.  KNOWING. They’re gonna break up……….HOW DARE U

Seriously, what powerful writing.  I don’t know how you do it……

I think it’s incredibly interesting that you chose music to be the catalyst for this beautiful, climactic moment of closeness  My best friend/partner and I have had convos before about it, and she and i once talked about how we think of sex with music lol.  I don’t know how to entirely explain myself on that, or where I’m really going with this, but I get the same vibe here too.  Music that’s close to you is like an artistic intimacy and there’s something very personal and vulnerable about it.  Maybe it’s an auditory thing, like getting lost in one of those guided meditations.  (idk if you’ve ever had one that actually worked, they don’t always for me, but when they do god damn, it’s unreal)  Either way, I really loved the way this scene played out, it was highly relatable and highly emotional, and I feel serenity and ardor just reading it.  Beautifully done.

I love the way you moved back to the present and we immediately feel the differences and the similarities.  The fondness and affection is still there, if not a little more muted, and it’s so obvious they still have feelings for each other.  But there’s definitely moments that speak to their separation too, with the little differences in Sakura that Sasuke notices, or instances like her no longer drinking coffee or him deciding to open the door.

I really like how you inserted the interaction with Kakashi too.  One thing I’m quickly noticing about this fic and your writing is how you very stealthily relay information to us readers.  It’s seamless and entertaining, and I’m learning about this world and the past in ways that are so attention grabbing I don’t even notice it.

Also Itachi’s death and the way you handled it from Sasuke’s pov is so reminiscent of canon and also so gut wrenching.  The lines 

How dare Itachi leave him alone? How dare Itachi sacrifice himself and die? How dare Itachi pass his responsibilities onto his shoulders… 

especially gutted me because of how is stands in stark parallels to the Sasuke we know in canon.  This really smacked my head around with feels….poor Sasuke

OMFG POOR SASUKE !!!?!?!??!?!??!? THAT ENDING OOOLOGDSLGFSLKDGHLSDHFLKDFHVSLKV WHAT A FUCKING CURVE BALL LMAO

I mean maybe I should have seen that coming because like of course!!!  But also I’M LOSING M Y SHIT HAHAHAHAAA

I can’t wait to see how this unfolds!!!!!

Special Chapter

This is such a powerful scene to start with.  Itachi’s entire character was such a major influence in canon and seeing the way his death is affecting everyone now is so emotional.  I feel so bad for Sasuke, having to take on all the burdens Itachi had left behind for him.

Also these lines:

“Mikoto cried, “Don’t you think it’s too soon? I just buried my first-born just barely a week ago and now we’re discussing how you’re gonna ruin my youngest’s life just like you did with Itachi?!”

The way her voice cracked when she said his brother’s name broke his heart. She’s still grieving, probably forever, and here they are talking about Sasuke’s suicide.”

Literally killed me. Dead.  Deceased.  Fallen to the Void.  It’s so brilliant and powerful, and speaks so deeply on their dysfunctional family dynamics and feelings with so few lines.  Really loved this…

This next scene was so stark and sad and beautiful.  I meant to comment and pull lines again, but I couldn't stop reading tbh.  Sasuke's thoughts and emotions concerning Sakura are so vividly gentle and full of praise.  There's such a soft worship in the way you write his feelings towards her and tbh it's my absolute and only interpretation of feelings I care for concerning the depiction of their relationship.  Still, you do this with a certain cleverness and mastery.  It's really so moving for me...

The dream sequence that follows is absolutely debilitating, but so well done.  I got the sense it was a dream only a few lines in just from the bluntness of the lines.  It was truly very dream-like lol.  I really could feel the panic and guilt along all of his inner turmoil.  It's incredibly horrific to have such a dream about murder just after Itachi's too.  This was devastating.

I really loved the way Sakura calms him groom the panic/anxiety attack.  I've actually had a similar experience once, where I woke up from a nightmare and I was very frightened and stiff and couldn't really articulate myself.  I remember I had felt deep horror and self loathing and nothing else.  (I still remember the nightmare too, it was horrible.)  My best friend at the time just threw herself on the bed and held me.

It's so crazy how grounding touch can be.  I really felt that with Sasuke and Sakura too.  The comfort she offers him is so seamless to her character and so ardently palpable.  The repetition of "I got you" really touched me especially.  It breaks my heart knowing the inevitable end of their relationship to come.

Oooooohhhh daaamnnnnn

I did NOT see the raunchy sex coming lmfao!!  Although in hindsight, I probably should have.  You already told us how they tend to get down and dirty when emotions run high with the arguments and make-up sex.  I imagine this is instigated by Sasuke often, with him struggling to articulate his need for Sakura verbally so he does so physically.  And I imagine Sakura is just kinky enough to crave this sort of animal want.  

I do love how sexual interactions are easily moving in tandem with their emotions, how it just feels like another mode of communication.  Sasuke breaking down during it leaves me feeling so tender too.  It's tragic

She smiled. Sasuke doesn't know if he wants that smile or not.

These exit lines are going to fucking kill me istg

The following events honestly hurts to read because Damn haven't we all been there...  the fallout of a relationship to the point where you're just dragging it through the mud… it’s a true deterioration of soul and you capture that slow death so well.  I really feel terrible for Sakura—Sasuke too—but it sucks for her to be in the dark like this.  

I love the way you write Karin!!!  Honestly, I think it really mirrors the way she's written in canon.  She's cold and strategically loud and generally calculating and overall kind of apathetic.  She doesn't really know the value of meaningful relationships (and therefore doesn't prioritize them) until much later on in the series.  I definitely get this sense of her here too.  She's a little cold, but not cruel, and she has the pragmatic values of her and Sasuke's union in mind as she agrees to it all.  I really like how you made her personality come through here.

Meanwhile there’s him, sucking all the hard traits from their father. His competitive streak, arrogant way of speaking, harsh words — it’s all Fugaku. And suddenly, he feels so exhausted.

This line hit me so hard. I love this fic already for an endless number of reasons but a striking one is how well you interrogate the relationships between family.  When you described Itachi’s death as Sasuke losing a part of him, I really felt that. And here when you write about the way Sasuke takes after Fugaku and hates it and is also exasperated from it, just like how his father likely is, it just runs bone deep.  You really know how to speak to life experiences and relationships in consistently intimate ways.  I love that about you

This is his reality now — no more dream, no more Itachi; and pretty soon, no more Sakura.

’It hurts,’ Sasuke thought. 'It hurts, aniki.’  

Wow death by angst lmao thanks for the pain, maren, glad to know you like to torture your readers as much as our ninja babies.  Srsly tho the cadence of these lines and the material itself sync up perfectly.  It’s such powerful writing

This entire scene is stuffed to the brim with dread and turbulence, and it’s so lifelike, I feel it’s haunting.  The way you describe the suffocating atmosphere of the car ride, how Sasuke snaps at Sakura for simply knowing that something is up, the awkwardness of the dinner… You really brought so much passion into these scenes, I feel like I’m being tortured right with them lol

I looooooove the drama of this playing out omg.  The way you have this convo go down is like a punch to the gut.  Sakura announcing her acceptance to Harvard, and then her refusal to go. Sasuke knowing he’s the reason why…the guilt…the anger…

Also omfg these lines:

Sasuke hardened his resolve and stiffly said, “No. I don’t need you, Sakura.”

’Yes, I do.’

Sakura shook her head, “Yes, you do.”

I DIED.  Sakura callin’ him out on his bull shit I fucking LOST IT lmaooOOooo   I love this so much and I love how you write their dynamic!  It’s funny how this fic plays into a lot of romantic clichés but also subverts them—gives them a twist that knocks the reader right off their feet. It’s honestly incredible

I loved the way you brought in winter into this scene too.  The image of it, the feel of it, the terrible, lonely tone.  It suits the entire mood of it all.

This is going to sound super dumb but I genuinely love how much agency you give Sakura btw.  You probably know I’m a raging, batshit feminist by now and I gotta say, her dialogue is consistently powerful and reeks of someone who knows who they are, and their worth, even when in the fallout of a relationship where they are getting the short end of the stick.  Like I’m just sitting here reading “Sasuke, you dumb jackass, what are you doing” lmfaoooo LIKE GURL I WOULD TREAT U SO GOOD…. SAKU BB IM SO SORRY BUT ALSO TRUST I KNOW HOW IT BE

I really do love it.  And I love how you wrote Sakura as an orphan too.  It really flips the script on the canon material (eat shit, kishimoto!!  Women can have trauma and real backstories not centered around men, u misogynistic pile of adskjfhsklhfalkd)  I just feel she’s very well written, and tangible, and powerfully human.  I’d be just as smitten as Sasuke tbh

The last scene is so upsetting… it’s also strangely warming too though.  It’s terrible Sasuke’s been broken down like this, but there’s something about this scene where he feels raw, and expresses his pain in a very infantile way, literally crying out to his mother about how it hurts.  I really feel he’s been stripped of not just his life, but himself, under the weight of Itachi’s death and all that’s come with it, and it makes my heart ache.  I loved this chapter, in all it’s infinite sadness.

Part II

He closed his eyes and thought about his talk with his father earlier, “We’re okay now. He called me while I was with Itachi.”

Love the ease and depth of this single line of dialogue.  How Itachi is not alive but is still with him, and how it speaks to the way we humans grieve and the continuity and strength of relationships even after someone leaves.  It’s just very simple and human, and it popped out at me.

He couldn’t even remember the last time they talked on the phone, or the last time he heard Fugaku as a father, not as the Uchiha patriarch.

Uggghhhhhhh this is exactly how I felt Fugaku was like in canon too.  This fic is just full of brilliance, I really adore the way you describe all the relationships, but the complexity between Sasuke’s and Fugaku’s is really striking to me.  You nail it perfectly.

And this whole intro where Fugaku apologizes to Sasuke and tells him he is proud…. I feel as if a major levee has been broken.  While he’s in front of Itachi’s grave too.  This Sasuke really has that same parallel with the one in canonverse where I feel he is held back by his family trauma, family obligations, the weight of blood.  And this scene feels like a breaking point.  Where Sasuke can be a man instead of an Uchiha, in the same way Fugaku gives him this moment as a father instead of an Uchiha patriarch.  It certainly feels like a cleansing of sorts.

Once you thought you’re over it, one pink-haired beacon of spring will bloom in your eternal winter and blow all your progress into next week. What a woman. He will never find anyone better.

AaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA !!!! this IS what I mean!!!  His inner thoughts of her ugh….i’m so weak…Sasuke you lovesick fool…. And the return of the beautiful seasons motif.  I love this so much

 You can say they were drunk — with liquor, with each other, with love.

I just adore this line. It really emphasizes the vibe of their past relationship and the picture as a whole, and just that electric feeling of being consumed with someone.  The description and cadence of it is just really catching, and I love it

 God, this entire scene. Damn, maren.  It’s criminal how well you write the tension of such a casual conversation.  It feels as if an interrogation of sorts is occurring, and yet it’s still a heartwarming kind. Sakura is not vicious or mal-intentioned in inquiries and yet it still leaves Sasuke weak and defenseless if only because of his feelings for her.  There’s so many ways you assert it too.  It’s in every line, every detail.  This one in particular stood out to me:

Sasuke clenched his fist under the table and scoffed, “I hope my mother didn’t tell you how miserable I was.”

'Still am,’ he corrected in his mind. 'How miserable I still am.’

I remember you used this particular tactic when also describing Itachi’s feelings from Sasuke’s POV. (Something along the lines of how he does became how he did because he is gone)  In this fic where time is moving back and forward in a non-linear fashion, these details are especially striking.  Despite the changes and pushes and pull, this one fact is consistent—Sasuke loves Sakura.  And we, as readers, relearn it with every line.

Also I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOvE that Mikoto saw Sakura off, and that there is this undertone of a bond. Like ughhhhh I’ve so been there, where there’s that depth of understanding between women and relationships that men don’t always know about or know how to grapple with it.  My ex resented me for it lmfao

Adkjfasklfalsjdkfakls SASUKE CAN RELATE TO HIM APPARENTLY AHAHAHAAHHA B SNAPPEDDDD I totally get it though, it’s a little intrusive of Sakura to ask for that, but we all also know why she did.  Poor saku bb is in love with this emotionally constipated idiot lmao.  Oh I love the endless pining and miscommunication of it all !!!

“I thought you’d be here,” a voice came and knocked on the closed door of his heart. He turned his face towards it, he saw her and suddenly his doors came opening again.

The winter sun was directly behind her, giving her this eerie glow. Like a nymph; a spring nymph being born in his perpetual winter. He shivered inside.

Back at it again with that seasonal motif !!!! ugh you are killing me.  I also really loved the phrase “knocked on the closed door of his hear.”  You really have such a way with these metaphors and images, it’s so striking and makes the narrative of this piece so brilliant

and silence is a comfortable companion back then. When they became lovers, it was like their platonic third-wheel aside from Naruto.

Ngl I busted out laughing on that one.  “aside from Naruto” hahaaaa I love the way you include him in this fic tbh.  He’s not a very big focus, but he still feels like an integral part of this story, not just as Sasuke’s best friend, but also as another device to unite Sasuke and Sakura.  Also he’s pretty fantastic comic relief, probably just as much for the two of them as for the reader.

I really love the way this convo goes down, and the change of scenery from the coffee shop to the playground.  Considering the way their love at this point is founded in nostalgia (and perhaps something else, but let’s ignore that for a second) it’s so fitting for them to finally stripping away the masks and cloaks and being genuine with one another—Sakura talking about how she knew all along, and Sasuke finally admitting he still loves her.

I also loved that Karin broke off the engagement!!!!!!  And how she did it and how you described it ughghhghg I love this.  You really spoke to her character growth and development in canon too.  It’s trivial compared to everything else that’s going on, but I love it.

…the pink of her hair, the green of her irises and the gold of the sun slowly setting down behind her.

Sasuke couldn’t see her clearly anymore, only the faint glow of her weeping eyes and the halo on her head made by the sun.

You think you’re slick don’t you…you think you’re some kind of mastermind with these subtle references/images…..well guess what bitch….YOU ARE

  I looooove how you tied the music back in.  Ugh this departure!!  MY HEART!!! Also I’m seeing a handful of songs I love including OUR BOIIIII !!!! rex orange county uhhghhgjak maren this is the romance of a lifetime I AM WEAK

Ughh the forehead kiss…..that was so sweet.  I loved Sakura’s choice to give him that bit of affection.  This scene is so beautifully intimate, despite their positions.

Omg I FINISHED HOLY SHIT!!! And Sasuke doesn’t get back with her! Wow!  Honestly, as much as my shipper heart is like, violently frothing at the mouth and saying “okay they totally got back together down the line tho like THEY HAD TO THEY ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER WHAT IS TH—" I actually have such a deep appreciation for this ending.  Their relationship in this almost feels dream-like, and with the way the story unfolds, even if they still loved each other in the end (and I really don’t doubt that they do.  We don’t have Sakura’s perspective, but we also don’t need it.  the affections are clear) it doesn’t mean they will end up together or are even really suited for each other in such a way.  

Their love in this actually really reminds me of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  Have you seen that movie?  I just really get that vibe at the end.  This entire romance cuts very deep and is very passionate and leaves me feeling so whimsical.  I really loved this story, Maren…  thank you for sharing it with all of us.  thank you for writing it.  You’re really one of a kind and you and this story has my whole heart <333

Also I’m sorry this is so late, but when I said I am going to write you a review, what I meant was I am going to write you a review.  This English degree is good for nothing but sending elaborate love letters to friends and writers in the form of literary analyses and stupid overreactions and BY GOD I WILL NOT LET THIS CRIPPLING COLLEGE DEBT GO TO WASTE !!!

#sasusaku #ss fanfiction #ik its been like a year im sorry #but ily and ur my fav 5evr pls marry me maren my love

[bironism]

Continuing my translation log with Byatt’s Possession, specifically one of Ash’s letters. {intro: the book follows two literary researchers’ discovery of correspondence between two 19th century poets, Ash and LeMott, modelled after the correspondence between Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett}

{1} diction

 The letters emulate the Victorian style of Browning, so obviously, does one emulate target language’s 19th century variety? I chose not to.

 First, I just really don’t know the principles of 19th century Czech well enough and one afternoon spent reading about it could hardly aim for authenticity. Second, I’m not sure the two are really analogous -- Victorian English is structure-wise much closer to its contemporary variety than 19th century Czech is to the current language -- the differences are more varied: morphology, syntax, fsp -- so I honestly feel it would alienate the reader -- while the whole point of the letters is to showcase their author as profoundly human.

So I translated into contemporary Czech with a more bookish diction than I’d normally use. Although I honestly think the best solution would’ve been an early/mid-20th century variety. (I was pressed for time, not to mention the whole archaisation business is tricky with me being non-native etc.)

{2} capitalisation

Lyrical Verse and Impulse and all that. I thought it an emphasis tool and so I mostly kept it, compensating for the times I didn’t by capitalising You (as is the local convention).

{3} oh strike me with a glancing shaft

“... always certain that I cannot appreciate your next striking thought or glancing shaft of wit.”

This evokes quite an image, you can almost see the two minds dancing around each other like two fencers – I kept it as best I could – “vždy jist, že nedokážu docenit Vaši další údernou myšlenku nebo letmý výpad důvtipu.”

{4} of hounds and firedogs

“But poets don’t want homes – do they? – they are not creatures of hearths and firedogs but heaths and raging hounds.”

Two corresponding couples here: “hearths”/”heaths” and “firedogs”/”hounds”. And I’ll be honest, I’m straight up dissatisfied with how I handled these. I tried to keep to both the associative opposition and an alliteration at least (since I could not find a word so close phonetically, or close via the words’ root), and ended up with a weaker, diluted version of the original image’s unwavering strength. “Poets aren’t made for sitting by the hearth with firedogs but for roaming the heath with hounds.” Weak. Like using the same teabag twice.

{5} the general(ized) and the particular

“You know, all poetry may be a cry of generalized love, for this, or that, or the universe – which must be loved in its particularity, not its generality, but for its universal life in every minute particular.”

I’m not dissatisfied per se, though my prof was right to remark that the word I chose for particular (“konkrétní”) could be jarring and a less modern and technical one is probably the better solution (“jednotlivost”).

Later, there’s the abstract versus the particular in Ash’s description of other poets’ love in practice:

“.... this state of being in love, which they regard as most particular, as inspired by item, one pair of black eyes or indifferent blue, item, one graceful attitude of body or mind, item, one female history of some twenty-two years (…) – I have always believed this being in love something of the most abstract masking itself under the particular forms of both lover and beloved. And Poet, who assumes and informs both.”

So yeah, I used the same word for particular as above and since there’s no other way for expressing the abstract than “abstraktno” I kept to that. No choice so far. What’s more interesting is the various ways people translate the “item”s – repeated this way, it’s an enumeration, but no matter what I did, it came off as rather unnatural. So I emphasised the ‘oneness’ of the items that followed and simply named them.

As for “particular forms”, perhaps I could’ve avoided the clumsiness of my particular’s, as above, yeah, still, I’m def not dissatisfied with my “forms”. I was forced to gender both lover and beloved – eh – and for a brief second I thought about translating these as just “lovers” – but hey, I can’t let personal hangups prevent me from accuracy.

The Poet part is funny. I translated that as “the Poet, who imagines and creates both”. And I don’t think I’m off the mark there, though I did interprete more than necessary.

{6} impaling my own head

“You see the fork I have impaled myself on…”

Attemps at Vlad the Impaler imagery are going out on a leg, I guess, and my prof didn’t like this one, either. The rest of the paragraph I got right – only I impaled myself on grammar’s fork in one detail.

{7} partial and partial

“something restless and myriad-minded and partial and observing and analytic and curious” (Ash describing the ‘source’ of his writing’s conception)

On second thoughts I see the partial, following the “myriad-minded”, as “divided into parts”. I didn’t on my first reading and his being “observing” right after “partial” swayed me to view it as “non-objective” and translate it as what could mean either “non-objective” or “interested”.

{8} Balzac and English female gentility

Can I admit I did not entirely get the sentence? Because I do. Admit. To that. I got the individual words. And the phrases. And like, what he’s on about. I just didn’t get why, and why he’s saying it in this manner. The Frenchwoman bit was plain confusing, I first thought he’s suggesting it’s Balzac who’s the Frenchwoman, or maybe I was getting tired, I don’t know. Either way, the weakest part of my text.

{9} Par-Is

“The city of Is, the reverse of Par-Is…”

The trouble here was TL’s slightly different spelling of Paris, so I went for a little bit of explication here: “Město Ys, protějšek Paříže neboli Par-Yse” Some people in my class went for just the “counterpart of Paris” or just Par-Is, but like idk.

{10} feeling one’s way into a glove

“I shall feel my way into your thought – like a hand into a glove –”

Why ruin a good image? So I kept it – 

(P.S.) though I’m not half as fond of Ash as the novel’s researchers are – he’s a bit of an asshat – I mean, the whole letter goes like: let me express how I may not be enough to keep your attention, let me tell you what love should be, let me tell you how poets do it wrong, haha now that’s self-sabotage so hello, I’m different from other boys wink wink, I’ll get into your head I’m getting there already wink wink wink please write back. Pathetic little twit. Sorry.

#texts d'outre-tombe

[sveasauvageon]

Nothing happened to me. I happened. || GW

☾♔; March 19, 2018 ☾♔; sotd: idk yet ☾♔; comedian otd: JOHN FU.CKING OLIVER ☾♔; GW NPC Audition II ☾♔; {G} https://goo.gl/XSTtMc ☾♔; mod(s): @themadmonarchist @maybones et moi

Preamble Ramble: finally an opportunity to write for my favourite psychopath (also probs my fave out of all the characters I've ever made. soz everyone else)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀Dominika Grigoryevna Vororina, (approx 460)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I'm a cool girl ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I'm a, I'm a cool girl ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Ice cold ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I role my eyes at you, boy ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀-⠀Cool Girl by Tove Lo

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ THE BASICS

Nickname: Nika, Professor Vororina (generally addressed as such, rather than as a nickname), Khalessi (self-applied), Professor Khaleesi (makes students call her that, mostly first and second years as a joke, somewhat, older students whom she is "fond" of may continue calling her that, or people trying to be a teacher's pet), Rurikovna (literally; "daughter of Rurik", it's a self-applied title as well) Gender: cis-female Date of Birth: Vaguely winter (it was a long time ago) Place of Birth: Moscow Kremlin Nationality: Russian (she's held a bunch of citizenships over the years, but she's gone back to Mother Russia recently)   Ethnicity: Eastern Slav Accent: Russian   Blood Status: muggle-born/half-breed (of sorts)  

Profession: Potions Professor at Hogwarts (also Head of Slytherin House)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: Rebecca Ferguson

Hair: She's had an array of colours over the centuries, always long, but the styles have varied over the centuries. She currently favours fiery red or slivery-gold/platinum, changes it on a whim. Could be Russian witch stereotype red in the morning, and then Khaleesi coloured in the evening.

Eyes: Blue-green, occasionally they seem to flash red, though she claims that's just a trick of the light (or is it? tun, tun, tun!)  

Height: 1.7m

Weight: idk, but also what does it matter, she's immortal and basically undead, her body doesn't change.  

Body: lean, lithe, unnaturally attractive

Any Scars/ Marks?: none

Any Tattoos/ Piercings?: just her ears, triple pierced or whatever for ear cuffs.

Quirks/ Mannerisms: - eerily silent, she doesn't make any noise when she moves, no matter what she's wearing.   - some may notice her smirking to herself in the corner now and again when chaos is erupting in the foreground (did she 'cause it, is she approving of it? Who knows)

Style: expensive. She likes wearing dark and/or vivid colours, as well as sharp and elegant clothing. Her style can best be described as "instilling fear in the hearts of men". Well, that's her wardrobe's goal, anyway.  

Additional Information: - wears a f u c k ton of heels, like, always, and yet they never make any noise - always seems to have a little box (or whatever) of fries/chips (whatever you wanna call it, as a north american, I call 'em fries) in her hands - likes wearing crosses, mainly as an inside joke with herself

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ PERSONALITY:

Head cannon: Nika has a slightly complicated reputation, well, first off, she's a teacher, so she's not really involved with the hierarchy, she's outside of it. Her reputation, however, runs as either the coolest or scariest teacher. It really depends on how "interesting" she finds a student, she will spend time with them (positively or negatively), if she finds them to be "dull", however, they literally look like furniture to her, she will speak without ever hearing them. She's both a chill and strict teacher, if you get the work done, you can do whatever you want, if you're goofing off without doing anything or proving to be a nuisance whilst she's speaking, you may find your cauldron spontaneously exploding. She can also be chilling with the nuisances, if someone is speaking whilst she is, the cauldron will go "boom" whilst she continues on with the lesson as though nothing dramatic is happening. She's not an all together bad teacher though, if she finds people interesting, she'll spend time with them and actually attempt to pass on knowledge and throw questions at them during class, and even ask about their problems and whatnot if they're looking down (though it has been observed that her "advice" does not lead to the best result, and more often than not results in more difficult and complicated situations for the person). Additionally, whilst she does not actively hide that she's a vampire, she also does not go out of her way to confirm that. But does make nerdy "full moon tonight, don't be out too late" type jokes.

Theme Song: Khaleesi by Ramin Djawadi

Personality (+ 5, - 5): Psychopath. like, a real proper psychopath, not just as a word thrown around at homicidal maniacs or selfish dovchebags, she feels literally nothing, and not in a "cool girl" way, she can't feel anything, her brain's just not wired for it. She generally displays herself as a confident, intelligent, classy, and elegant, well-educated, proud European, and is seemingly easy to befriend and get along with so long as you like clever things and/or sarcasm. However, she's faking all of that. She doesn't really "feel" anything, and one could describe her as being "empty". Her entire personality has been meticulously built by herself over the centuries to best and most easily fit in with society and not draw unwanted attention to herself. All of her emotions and personality traits are things she's mimicking from people she's met, and she was doing so before she even became a vampire. Having been born a psychopath, she doesn't have the same emotional range that normal people do, she just can't feel anything, she's incapable of it. She has a complete lack of remorse and guilt, she doesn't even have the same "biological imperative" impulse that the rest of us have when it comes to blood relations and their safety. A majority of her relationships are superficial, based on physical attraction and/or mild amusement, but genuine and deep relationships is a struggle for her. Next to impossible, it's not that she doesn't want to care about pretty boy 57, it's just that she can't, also who cares about such disposable people anyway?. Having said that, it's not impossible for her to actually care, it's rare, extremely, but not impossible. In her entire life (which is nearing 500 years and including all potential plotting), she only formed a genuine bond with (up to) three people, and her own family is not on that list. So when she does genuinely care about a person, she's extremely protective of them, given how rare it is, and is excessively aggressive towards any she deems has or may harm them.

Nika is genuinely very logical and rational, and has a rather scientific mind. Or more one of a mad scientists'. She's extremely curious about the nature of humanity, and one can even say that she "enjoys" experimenting on them by forcing them into complex and difficult situations and observing how they react. She also has a tendency to experiment on herself, as a child she would harm herself, not out of a sui.cidal desire, but to see how much pain she could tolerate, if she would feel fear when she got close to death, if she would/could cry, etc. (she didn't cry, or get scared, but her heart rate went up sometimes, which was fascinating). When drugs became a thing, she took literally all of them at various doses and mixes just to see how it would affect her as a witch and a vampire. She also experimented on animals, she's stopped now, except with dogs, she kills them after the third annoying bark (I'm sorry, but she's a psychopath, that's what they do! TT_TT). She's never grossed out and probably too okay with blood and guts, and too good at dealing with it. Highly organized, and punctual, she displays a reckless and complete disregard for the safety of herself and others (with the exception of those whom she has a genuine bond with). She's a pervasive liar, deceptor, manipulator, and is quite narcissistic, and superficially charming. Whilst rage is not a common "emotion" she experiences, irritation is one that she can genuinely feel, and when genuinely irritated by something, she has a tendency to cause it immense physical pain before ultimately killing it.  

Any mental health issues: she's a genuine psychopath, whilst she doesn't think there's anything wrong with her, according to society, she's messed up.

Favorite Quotes/ Sayings that your character would use: - "Nothing happened to me. I happened." - NBC's Hannibal, said by the titular character, and definitely something Nika would say because I'm a nerd who makes references. - "I have what used to be called an axis II personality disorder. So you can scream and cry, and beg all you want. You can tell me about your spouse and kids, all about your happy little life. When I kill you and them, I won't feel a thing." - okay, there isn't much context for her to use that now, but she totally used it before, or a version of it.   - "It's amazing how easily the human brain can be manipulated." - "You think I was damaged? Some childhood trauma? That's so sweet." - said by Root from Person of Interest - "You should know torture almost never produces good information. Well, almost never." - also said by Root, she has the best quotes tbh - "I bleed like everyone else, but I don't feel. My heart rate won't  even go up. Cut me open and let's see if I scream." - again, not something she has much opportunity to say now and days, but defs something she's said in the past. - "How arrogant of you to think that any of us are anything, but irrelevant." - said by greer, also from person of interest "You don't take over the world with gaudy displays of violence. Real control is surgical, invisible. It interferes only when necessary. " - also said by greer

Additional Information: - animals naturally fear her, some even go to extremes to avoid her, and dogs tend to bark at her whenever she passes by (part of why she hates them so much, also, should mention, they've been doing that since before she became a vampire. It's the psychopath they instinctively fear, well, now, the vampire too) - Seems to know every language there has ever been. - piano and violin (she had time to kill) - quite good at video games (where as I am trash), enjoys open-world/high fantasy games like The Witcher and Dragon Age

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ BIOGRAPHY

Relation to your OC: professor

♣️ Family Background

Nika is from a mainly muggle family, her father was Ivan IV aka Ivan the Terrible, first official Tsar of all the Russias (later Russian Empire) and her mother was Anastasia Romanova of the House of Romanov (later became Tsars themselves until the Bolshevik revolution and establishment of the Soviet Union). Her father had multiple wives and mistresses, resulting in numerous siblings and half-siblings.

Through the union of her father and mother she had 6 full-blooded siblings, many of whom died in infancy; Anna Ivanovna, Maria Ivanovna, Dmitri Ivanovich, Ivan Ivanovich, Eudoxia Ivanovna, and Feodor Ivanovich (later Feodor I). She had two half-siblings from her father's later marriages, Vasili Ivanovich, born to her father's second wife; Maria Temryukovna, and Dmitri Ivanovich, born to her father's seventh and final wife; Maria Nagaya.

Nika maintained a mostly positive relationship with her father's numerous wives. Her mother died less than two years after her birth, so she didn't know her well, but a maid later admitted to Nika that the Tsaritsa was somewhat off put by baby Nika's lack of crying. With her step-mothers, she was well-behaved and polite, but she never cared for them. They provided no interest to her, and by the fourth wife, she began viewing them the same as mistresses or as toys, to serve a purpose and be quickly replaced with they failed in their purpose. She found his fifth wife; Anna Vasilchikova, enjoyable and even endearing to an extent, however, she didn't remain long and was quickly forced into nunnery.

As for her father, they had a somewhat contentious relationship. It was the 1500's, so there was the whole "women are less than men" thing going on, something which Nika never understood as a logical concept. She was always smarter, stronger, and more able than Feodor (her elder brother by just a year)since infancy (oh, also, she didn't like Feodor. She considered him weak, and a pointless existence who would've been better off as furniture). Regardless of that, however, they did get along on certain things, especially when it came to the Oprichnina and Ivan's darker habits, which she shared and initially some would say she inherited from him, until later seeing acts that outweighed anything even Ivan would dare to do. Their relationship later completely deteriorated when he killed her brother, and his heir, Tsarevich Ivan.

Ivan was always her favourite sibling. Of all the Tsar's children (excluding Nika herself, or rather Vasilia as she was called then), Ivan was best able to handle the Tsar's moods and behaviours, and similarly best able to handle Nika's psychopathy (the Tsar wasn't a psychopath, fyi, from what I've read, he was definitely paranoid, I would say paranoid schizophrenic, but they're not usually violent, and Ivan IV was super violent. It could've been due to the time period and the power he had, but meh. I'm not a professional, just a bad student). Anyway, back to little Vasilia and big brother Ivan. Out of all the others, he was the only one not immediately terrified by her darker tendencies, and even convinced their father to allow 11 year old Vasilia to join them during the Massacre of Novgorod, thinking (correctly), that she would enjoy it (she loathed when they retired to church for prayer though). Although he never fully realized how different she truly was, Ivan was the one who taught Nika to mimic her emotions and behave as a proper Tsarevna, and allowed her to express her displeasure and dislike, and every other "abnormal" emotion she experienced in private with him (some stuff which did freak the fu.ck out, especially, what she admitted to doing to the pet dog of a courtier she found annoying). Following Ivan's death and an argument with her father, she left Russia, but not before taking the cane Ivan IV used to kill Ivan with and burying it in the latter's tomb with him.

♣️ Family Affiliation: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Slytherin House, Russian Ministry of Magic, Rurik Dynasty, House of Romanov, Russian Throne, Koldovstoretz, The Bolsheviks, The Society for the Tolerance of Vampires in London (she joined jokingly, but they still haven't grasped that),    

♣️ Socio-economic status: confusing. She seems to have a lot of money, but her pay from Hogwarts is not enough to cover all her tastes and material objects. Few dare to question her, but for those few who do, her answer for where her money comes from is simply "history"

Quick facts:

Born in 1558 (February 3, though she claims she's forgotten the exact date), she is the last daughter of Tsar Ivan IV with his first wife; Anastasia Romanovna. At birth, she was given the name Vasilisa Ivanovna, and was an odd infant from the get go. Whereas her numerous other siblings cried, she never did, even as an infant, which unsettled her mother, though her father was pleased by it. As she aged, she began to realize she was different than her peers, and not just because of her position. She was indifferent to their fears about wars, and was not easily distracted by shiny things or "cute" animals as they always were. Some maids would joke behind her back that she was "undead" child, as she never displayed any joy or interest, or any emotion really. She would only animatedly chat with her elder brother, Ivan. However, Vasilia truly came alive upon her father's creation of the Oprichnina. She was only a child when it was formed, less than 10 (between 6-7), but would attend every execution, and was noted to have had a chilling grin on her face as the "traitors" (as labelled by her father) were killed one by one.

Nika discovered magical abilities at age 5, when a playmate brought over her new puppy to show Nika and the other royal/noble children. It's barking was driving Nika mad, and it suddenly lost it's voice. She later developed more control over her abilities, using them to slow down blades as it moved through someone's neck, framing annoying maids and servants for theft, sometimes setting them on fire. Ivan was the first to find out about her magic, and out of fear that she may be burned, did his best to hide her magic. They were found out by their father's third wife; Marfa Sobakina, whose mother was a witch (making her a squib). Instead of being ratted out, however, Marfa was able to convince the Tsar to send Nika to a far away boarding school, excellent for girls of "her" nature, and refining her into a lovely young woman, instead of the oddly, blood thirsty child people feared her to be.

Although beginning at Koldovstortez, she flourished there, particularly when it came to the dark arts and dueling, she had an uncanny knack for using any potion and/or spell to cause harm to others, both physical and emotional. After completing her education, she never pursued a career in the magical world, she was a vital piece on the chessboard of royal problems, and instead fell in line with her siblings, marrying a muggle boyar of her father's choosing (she has forgotten his name at this point though. Nikolay? Dmitri? Viktor? She can't recall), however, she was simultaneously engaging in an affair with a woman named Maria Dolgorukaya (regarded by history as an entirely fictitious wife of Ivan IV), who was secretly a vampire, drawn to muggle court games. Together they disgraced and ruined many nobles, a number of whom lost their heads to her paranoid father. Whilst their relationship was passionate and explosive (especially for other people), the true extent of Nika's care for Maria remains unknown, she was more than expendable to her, but she certainly did not "care" for her in the way that she did for her brother. They engaged in an argument, which eventually grew physical and resulted in Nika's turn into a vampire and Maria's corpse floating in the river (it's unclear how she died though). About a year later, her brother died too and she left Russia.

Before 1692, Nika spent a lot of time in the muggle world, particularly in royal courts, and "played" various roles, including; advisor, mistress, royal mistress, seductress, assassin, tutor, governess, maid, agente provocatrice (a female who entices one to act criminally and/or against their best interest), noblewoman, damsel in distress, and damsel doing damage. After the International Statute of Secrecy became law, she left the muggle world for a while, engaging with the newly cut off wizarding world, and she found real joy in settling into their small tight-knit communities and stirring up drama (ala desperate housewives). However, that thrill only last for so long, and she turned her attention back to the muggles.  In 1888, she ran about Whitechapel, in London, England, as the infamous and still unidentified (to the rest of the world) muggle serial killer; Jack the Ripper. Masquerading as a nurse at the time, she killed only the canonical five, and her spree was initiated by interest in police procedure and behaviour. Following the thrill of the chase, she ended up back in Mother Russia, where she took part in Bloody Sunday, also known as Red Sunday, Jan. 22, 1905, and fired upon the unarmed demonstrators as a member of the Imperial Guard. She later changed her identity and became a member of the Bolsheviks, and took an active role in the Revolution of 1917. She became an informal member of Lenin's cabinet, and was the original person to set the Romanov execution into motion, though, it was never traced back to her, and they were also distant cousins of hers.

During Soviet Russia, she based herself in Sverdlovsk (present day Yekaterinburg), where she created a sort of cult of vampires, dark magic, and murder. Whilst the humans made Sverdlovsk an economical powerhouse, she made the city a hub of supernatural superiority, deviance, and debauchery. It was impossible to walk two steps without running into one supernatural being or another, most of whom were vampires and/or dark wizards. She spent the longest amount of time in Sverdlovsk, as compared to the rest of her vampire life, living there from 1925 - 1989. Having grown bored, she allowed hunters and whatnot to enter the city and "cleanse" it, whilst she escaped and moved elsewhere in Europe. After acquiring the identity of "Dominika Vororina", she accepted the offer of a position as a professor at Hogwarts, mostly of out renewed boredom with the muggle world.  

Additional Information: - despite having lived for nearly 500 years, she's never stepped foot in the united states.   - most of Nika's life is defined by involvement with muggles, she's never really had any close ties to the magical world, which also allows her to more easily hide the nations worth of bodies and mayhem in her past

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ HOGWARTS INFORMATION

Hogwarts school stats: n/a She never attended Hogwarts as a student, however, Nika is an alumni of Koldovstoretz, where she held a dark reputation, even as a Russian in the late 1500's. She was rumoured to practise dark magic (of the illegal and murderous variety) and consort with a displaced group of dark wizards from the recently sacked Novgorod Republic (ironically, it was her father that sacked them anyway). Largely, she was a solitary student, though in later life she would claim that's because they were scared of her station (whether or not this is true is up for debate, as she uses a wistful tone and has an expression of "struggling to hold back laughter" on her face).  

Any Pets?: none, animals fear her. Especially dogs. And she in turn loathes those grimy mutts. She does like dragons though, and they're the only known creatures not to instinctively fear her or attack on instinct.

Reputation at Hogwarts: (mixed in with the headcanon part, meh, she's a teacher and not a student anyway, so her "rep" doesn't really matter)

Additional Information: n/a

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ INDIVIDUAL MAGIC

Wand: Vine Wand Core: Thestral tail hair Wand Length: 11 ¾" Wand Flexibility: swishy

Patronus: Dementor  

Boggart: it appears in it's true form before her or simply takes her shape, as she is a genuine psychopath who does not feel real fear. She's never disclosed it's appearance to anyone though, originally it was out of a need to keep her psychopathy hidden, later, simply "just 'cause", and a desire to forever leave the suckers (everyone else) guessing.

Amortentia: Amortentia potions don't emit any scent for her, as a psychopath, she is incapable of emotions like love. Whilst it's not completely impossible for her to form a genuine bond with someone, a lot of that is dependent on what that person does for her, like an uncle teaching her to hone her abilities or explore her psychopathy. Those genuine bonds are always selfish on her part, and exceedingly rare. She can't feel love the same way as normal people, she didn't even form a bond with her parents, and doesn't experience attraction (of the romantic and/or sexual kind) in the same way that regular people do.

Affinity to any particular magic? - wandless magic (she's quite proficient with it, and rarely uses a wand at all) - nonverbal spells - whilst talented with dark magic in general (she's a psychopath, how else will she magically experiment on living things), the cruciatus curse is probably her favourite, and she can perform it both nonverbally and wandlessly.

Additional Information: - although many things about Nika have changed over the centuries, including her name, her wand is the only thing that remains unchanged from when she first obtained it in 1571

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ USER INFORMATION

Username: @drownedinmoonlight Activity Level (Scale 1-10): 8

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ OPTIONAL Playlist: https://goo.gl/hgLGub Moodboard: https://goo.gl/CVY1pY Social Media (instagram, facebook, snapchat, twitter, etc) : Storyboard: Aesthetic Collection: https://goo.gl/8qDwce Wardrobe/Style Collection: Plotting Set: Story:

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

When you have completed the audition, please tag the mods: @drownedinmoonlight @themadmonarchist and @maybones and use the hashtag #GWnpc

#polyvore #audition #template #mine #nika vororina #gw

[shrubforhire]

Asks 1-50

i rly Alright strap in i guess,,

What’s your favorite thing about yourself? uhhhhhh,, Im v proud of my ear for music

What’s the best joke you know? Def the one from who’s line "Our top story today: Convicted hit man Jimmy 'Two-Shoes' McClarty confessed today that he was once hired to beat a cow to death in a rice field using only two small porcelain figures. Police admit this may be the first known case of a knickknack paddy-whack." Colin Mochrie is a fucking god

If you could only have one of your non-canon OTPs become canon, which would it be and why? I want Elanor and Tahani together so bad bitch,,,

What’s your dream vacation? New York!! Seein a bunch of shows and just chillin in the city :)

If you have a girlfriend, what’s the cutest thing she does? If you don’t, what’s something you do that you think is super cute? Oh my goSh theres so much to choose from fuck,, def one of my favs is she will add like tons of disclaimers to stuff before she says it. like if shes asking a question in class she’ll be like “so this is kind of a weird question, and i totally understand if this steps beyond the boundaries of what we’re talking about, but i figured i’d just ask anyways just in case...” oh my god shes so cute 

How do you prefer to spend your free time? MUSIC,, if i can just dick around and cover songs i like,, i am free

What’s a random fun fact that you learned recently? Bamboo is a grass!

When you play truth or dare, do you tend to choose truth or dare? Why I choose truth because I get nervous and once I was playing truth or dare and i had to kiss each of my friends, one on the lips, one by their cleavage, and one on the inner thigh. I did the first 2 and i was so nervous,, prolly cause i was gay as fuck, and right as i was about to put my face right by the vargooba i was saved by god because my nose started bleeding and i had to go inside,,,,,,,, lmao

What’s your favorite thing about being sapphic? That people assume im not so i can rly surprise em!

Who was your first lady crush? Hayley Williams. Hands down,, bitch

If you’re out, who was the first person you told? The last? (If you aren’t out, who is the first person you want to tell?) I didn’t rly come out ever super officially, so I guess my friend amulet when i told them i had a crush on Hayley Williams like right as I realized it lol.

What scares you the most about the future? The fear that I won’t be happy

Do you have a type? If so, what is it? C o n f i d e n c e also when ppl are really smart and responsible and just have a really good handle on their lives. That sounds rly fucking nerdy. Also when people just go for what they want.

Funniest childhood pet story? When my gerbil died I didn’t realize he was dead, and i was so surprised that he didnt run away when i opened his cage like usual. and he even let me pick him up!! i was like wow!! he’s in such a deep sleep. then i didnt feel his heartbeat and i was like oh fuck. this story isnt really funny oops.

What’s your aesthetic? gay shit,,, either v feminine in a rly hippie portland kinda way

What’s your idea of a perfect date? Have you been on it yet? not 2 flex but i planned the perfect fuckin date. first we went rollerskating and hungout at the arcade that they had there and played games. Then we got lunch at this rly cute market, and then we went on a walk that was strategically timed by me so we would get to this giant hill with a perfect view of the sunset. and i had planted a secret backpack in the trees with a blanket to sit on and another blanket to keep warm. and we got to snuggle & watch the sunset together (and our first kiss was right when the sun hit the horizon eeeeee)

What does your favorite color remind you of? playing the og nintendo ds

Quiet studier or loud studier? loud studier cause i talk to myself lol

Coffee, tea, or energy drinks? tea bih!! coffee and energy drinks make me anxious

What’s your stance on glitter pens? fuckin,,,, love

Do you believe in love at first sight? no, i believe in attraction at first sight, but love is a 2 way exchange

Who knows you the best and how did they get to know you? oh gosh,, its a toss up between stevie isaac and shay. they just fuckin,,, get it. stevie gets it cause we’re almost the same person. and shay and isaac,,,,, i still have no fuckin idea how they picked up so much info abt me so fast,, they both scary observant holy fuck

What’s your favorite question to ask? To answer? I love asking ppl about their partners and just seeing them gush hehe. Uhhh idk, im a whore & i’ll answer any fuckin q ppl ask me cuz it means they’re actually interested in what i have to say which is wild

Do you like camping? I LOVE CAMPING. Ive only gone fake camping where your car is right next to the tent,, but its still so fun!!!!!!!!!!!

Cats or dogs? (Hamster is an acceptable answer) Cogs. Dats

What does your dream house look like? A house that I can afford. And maybe w a balcony and a secret room that opens with the pull of a specific book from my bookshelf

What’s your random, useless superpower? solfeg. i can usually figure out a song in solfeg p fast 

Tell me about the most beautiful thing you can think of right now. my girlfriend

If you could only hear three songs for the rest of your life, what would they be? Masterpiece Theater III Haunted House  She’s a handsome woman

What’s the most stereotypical gay thing you do?? (Besides being attracted to women) keysmash

If you could time travel without any negative consequences, would you? Would you change anything? I would retake the SATs lol

What were you most afraid of as a child? Are you over that fear? Dying. not rly lol,,,, what happens to ur brain bro?? will all my memories from this life be gone???? wtf bro

Favorite mythical creature? i rly love mermaids,,,, and sirens

Have you ever dyed your hair an “unnatural” color? Would you? i havent,, if i didnt do theatre my hair would already be lavendar lmao

What’s your favorite book? invisible man

If you could live inside one fictional world, what would it be? pokemon

Most embarrassing story? theres so many,,,, oh my god. prolly when i was chillin in bed with this girl i was dating and then i got super bad period cramps and threw up in her bathroom and my mom had to drive me home in case i fainted,,,,,, i have not seen her since

Proudest moment? making my boss double over laughing 

What’s the most comforting smell you can think of and what does it remind you of? garlic,,,,, it means moms cookin :’)

Do you like fluff or angst more? oh my god i love fluff so much,,,, hhhh

What’s the last thing that made you smile? this short lil dog i saw at work,,,,, so kind

What’s the first thing that draws you to a person? (Romantic or platonic or both) c o n f i d e n c e

Your favorite place to be kissed? fuckin,, anywhere,,,,,,,,,,,,,im a v sensitive person

What’s your opinion on zoos? they’re kinda boring tbh,, 

Do you have any siblings? Are you close? i got 2 bros,, we have a good relationship but we dont hangout a lot

Did you have a favorite movie that you would watch over and over as a child? What was it? the year without a santa claus just for the miser brothers

Do you have any tattoos? If not, do you want any? If so, what are they?

What’s your go-to hairstyle? spaaaaace bunsssssss

What’s your favorite flower? it’s not a flower,, technically its a flowering shrub,,,, but i love hydrangea. the color changes based on the pH!! how fuckin cool is that shit??

Are you the first person to fall asleep at a sleepover or the last? Or somewhere in between? somewhere in the middle lol,, never first.