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mermaidgirl30 · 3 months

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✨ Dancing With Fire Part 4: Keep me from drowning, don’t let go, never let go ✨

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A/N: I love writing this story so much and hope you all are enjoying it as much as I am 🥹 This soft, protective Joel is everything ❤️ Comments and reblogs are always appreciated 😊

- Chapter Summary: Joel takes you on a date, the best date of your life. But will reality crash down and ruin the moment? Will you lose sight of what’s in front of you and focus on the brewing storm back at the theater? This chapter has some angst 🥹

- Word Count: 11.9k

- Tags: No outbreak!Joel Miller, protective Joel, angst, fingering, oral, cream pie, abusive dance partner, tension, longing, porn with plot, smut, dom! Joel (reader mid 20’s, Joel in his early 40’s) No use Y/N, reader’s nickname is Sunshine

- Rating: Explicit (18+ Only MDNI)

- Pairings: Joel x fem! reader, Joel x you

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

You awoke slowly to the soft hum of Joel’s slow breaths and the trickle of sunlight that crept through the top of the window. You were laying across his broad chest with your arm hooked around him, not willing to let go. His strong arms held you close to him as his fingers slowly went up and down your scalp, putting you in a lull somewhere between sleep and wakefulness.

His scent was all over you, covering your hair, your body, and the sheets smelled exactly like him. Mint, mahogany. And there was a faint hint of coffee. It wasn’t sweet or sugary smelling, it was just like the smell of a fresh pot of black coffee. And somehow you knew that’s how he took his. For only knowing him a short time, you felt like you knew him for years. Just like an old friend who came back into your life unexpectedly without so much as needing an introduction because you already knew them.

It was strange really. How close you already felt to Joel. This wouldn’t end well if you were already getting this attached, but maybe he’d stay. Maybe this one wouldn’t get away. Maybe he’d choose to stay.

You rolled over and faced him as a huge smile spread across his face, sending crinkles around his sleepy eyes and messy curls that stuck to the soft pillow. He looked flawless, happy, and so pretty.

“Mornin’, sunshine,” he drawled in a half asleep low rasp that sent butterflies through your lower region.

“Morning, handsome,” you beamed.

He took his hand and ran it across your cheek affectionately as he pulled you and in and brushed his lips against yours, hanging there for a few seconds before he pulled away, still caressing your face intimately.

“You hungry?” he asked as his thumb danced down your jaw.

“Starving,” you replied.

“Want some coffee?”

“Yes, please,” you said eagerly.

“Okay,” he laughed. “Why don’t I start a pot then. I can get the shower ready for you.”

A shower sounded absolutely amazing right now. You were still laying in last night’s ruined sheets, and his scent was all over you. Something you wanted to hold on to. You would remember exactly how he smelled because that was now your most favorite scent. Something you wanted to keep with you forever.

“Sounds perfect,” you smiled.

He gently uncurled himself from you and hopped out of the bed, pulling some black boxers on and headed for the bathroom. You laid there and took in the sights of his bedroom in the glow of the sunlight. His walls were creamy white with a poster of Pearl Jam hanging above the dark brown dresser. There was a large walk-in closet next to the master bathroom that could fit piles and piles of clothes and shoes. The wooden floors were spotless as if they’d been polished recently, and a car magazine laid against the small nightstand next to the bed. It was a cozy room, and he definitely kept the place clean.

Joel came out of the bathroom a couple minutes later with a grey fitted t-shirt on, with his bulging biceps hugging against the sleeves. He was so ridiculously hot. How did you ever get so lucky?

“Shower’s ready for ya. I put a washcloth and some towels on the counter. But take your time gettin’ up. It’ll be ready when you are.”

“Thanks, Joel,” you said with a smile as you rolled over to look at his perfect dimples.

“No problem, sunshine. Oh, how do you like your coffee? Black, sweet, sugary?”

“Sweet and sugary. If you have creamer, just go ahead and put in a lot. I like it almost white with how sweet I make mine,” you responded with a giggle.

“So, what you’re tellin’ me is that you're sweet just like your coffee is?” he asked as a smile tugged across his face and his eyes lit up with crinkles pulling at the sides of them, making him look extra adorable.

God, he’s so cute.

You laughed at him and nodded. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“I usually just take my coffee black, but I have plenty of creamer and sugar in the fridge, so you’re in good hands.”

You were in the best hands. You were in Joel’s hands.

“Now how did I know you took your coffee black?” you asked as you cocked your head at him.

“Guess you just know me so well, sunshine,” he smirked. “I’ll go get some started. I’ll leave ya to it then,” he said as he headed out the bedroom door and into the kitchen.

You laid there for another minute until you dragged yourself out of the comfy bed and headed for the bathroom. When you stepped in, you gasped at how large it was. There was a massive jetted bathtub in the corner. Next to it sat a big, tiled shower with a sleek glass door that connected to the inside. The white countertops had an embedded sink and a spacious mirror. Decorative soaps sat in a blue dish and a soft, velvety bath mat sat in front of the shower door. It smelled like lavender and mint in here. It smelled like Joel.

You opened the glass door and turned the shower knob to hot as water cascaded down the shower head and poured down the drain. You grabbed the crimson washcloth and headed into the shower, letting the warm water cover your messy hair and run down your body as you washed the sweat and stickiness off from last night.

As you started to lather the shampoo through your hair, you thought of the events of the previous night. Of how Joel had reached out and pulled you in for a kiss. Of how soft and delicate his lips felt against yours. Of how good his thick fingers felt as they explored every part of your body thoroughly and articulately. Of how his rough tongue felt against your center, how it lapped up the slick that he made come from your body, of how fucking good he felt inside you as he worked your body over and over again as he set off fireworks inside you, making you explode more than once. That man was a menace, and you wanted to experience it again and again and again until your body was fully his. You’d give everything to him, anything. You were his to take. Fully and unconditionally.

As you rinsed your hair out, you saw Joel’s outline through the shower door. It looked like he was putting some clothes on the sink. Maybe a hoodie and sweatpants? You couldn’t see clearly through the fog of the glass. It was too muggy.

“Hey, I put some clothes on the counter that you can put on after your shower. I didn’t know if ya had anymore clean clothes with you, so I thought these would fit ya. Just want ya to be comfortable,” he said over the noise of the running water.

He was such a sweetheart.

“Oh, thank you, Joel. That’s really kind, you didn’t have to,” you said through the shower door.

“It’s no trouble, darlin’. Well, I’ll let ya finish up. I’ll be out in the kitchen.”

Something pulled at you as you saw Joel standing in the bathroom. Something deep and churning inside you that you needed to push down, but you couldn’t. The pressure was already building inside you. Up, up, up until you couldn’t stand it anymore. You wanted him in here with you. You wanted to see him in all his glory, in all his massive muscles under the glistening hot water as he hugged you to his body and devoured every part of you that he could reach.

You were being selfish. You’d already had him last night, but you wanted more. Needed more. He was like a fresh spring of water in a dry desert with nothing else around for hundreds of miles. He was what quenched your thirst, what made you thrive and feel alive. And you needed him. Now.

Before he could step out of the bathroom you called to him, almost desperate like as you whispered his name. “Joel.” It was just loud enough for him to hear because he stopped in his tracks and slowly turned your way. He must’ve heard the need in your voice, must’ve felt that pull that he had on you. Must’ve known that you needed him right here, right now. Must’ve heard you calling him in your mind. Touch me, hold me, kiss me, devour me, love me.

Love me. That was a new one. That was uncharted territory. It was too soon, too much, too fucking quick. But you felt it. You felt the way he was pulling at your heartstrings, felt every single bone in your body calling for him like he was the one. But he was the one. The one that had come to your rescue, the one that had saved you, the one that truly cared for you. He was everything you had ever wanted and more. And you were falling hard and fast for your knight in shining armor, Joel Miller.

You saw him take a few steps back into the bathroom and stare into the foggy glass door as if he could see right through it, could see you staring back at him as you coaxed him in with your mind. Touch me, touch me. After a moment of silence, you saw him rip his shirt over his head and pull his boxers down to the ground. He then opened the shower door and stepped in, quickly closing the foggy door and turning towards you as he towered over you.

He looked directly at you as he took you in from head to toe, his eyes sliding up and down your body slowly. He was feasting on you, tasting you with only his eyes before he hungrily devoured you with his mouth and hands.

You drank him in. Starting with his disheveled messy curls, his warm brown eyes, his smirk that raised at the corner of his mouth, his broad shoulders that towered over you, his massive biceps, his veins that spidered down his thick arms, his big hands, his muscles that expanded around his abdomen, his built thighs, and oh. His thick erection that was planted hard against his stomach. Already firm and ready to take you.

He cupped your chin and lifted your eyes to his as you stared into warm, chocolate pools. They made you feel like putty in his hands.

“You called?” he asked as a smirk played on his lips.

“You came,” you said as you breathed out a breath you had been holding in.

“I’ll always come when you call, sunshine.”

Oh.

There was a thick cloud of tension in the room as the fog got heavier, as the steam spread over the glass, as your heart was beating a thousand miles per hour just from Joel looking at you with those deep brown eyes.

Another second passed and he wasted no time. He pulled you in as he grabbed the back of your neck and crashed his lips down on yours. He backed you up to the wall, and you opened your mouth wide for him, inviting him in. He slithered his tongue into your mouth and twisted around yours as you caught the taste of fresh brewed coffee. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in closer as his body connected with yours. He drank you down as he continued kissing you over and over again as his hands slid down to your waist and stopped at your hips. He placed his large hands around them and dug his fingers into your hips which caused your center to throb for him.

Please, please, touch me, taste me, love me.

As if he could read your mind, he broke the kiss and skated one of his hands down your thigh. He slowly, slowly inched it up your inner thigh as he teased you, tormented you. You’d have to beg for it.

“Please,” you begged, already on the verge of coming undone.

“Please what?” he asked with a devilish smirk on his mouth as his eyes started turning darker shades of coal.

“Touch me, pleaseee,” you pleaded.

“You don’t have to beg, sweetheart. I was already planning to,” he teased.

He took his hand up higher and higher until he was trailing his thumb up and down your folds, gently spreading them and gathering slick around his thick fingers. He had barely touched you and you were already falling apart around him. The effect this man had on you was scary, horrifying. He was a lot, but you craved him. You were rabid, starving, thirsting for him and only him. So you’d let him take you in any form he wanted. You were his to take.

Take me, take me, take me.

“Christ, you’re dripping for me, baby. All this for me?” he asked as he took his thumb and popped it in his mouth, sucking all your slick off as he smirked down at you with black blown pupils.

Fuck. He was a menace, an absolute savage. He’d be the death of you. You just knew it.

Your mouth dropped open as you watched him taste you on his tongue, as you watched him lick his fingers clean nice and slow. He was building you up, making you drip even more for him. Another wave of slick pulled from you, and you licked your lower lip slowly in anticipation of him touching you again.

“Joel, I’m so wet. So wet for you. Please,” you begged as you reached out for him and grabbed his flexed bicep.

“So needy, sunshine. Don’t worry. I’m gonna take good care of ya. Gonna work ya nice and slow, show you just how good I can make ya feel,” he purred.

He took a step forward and cupped your chin, pulling your eyes up to his. “Eyes on me, sunshine. Focus on me,” he instructed as he took his other hand and started sliding up and down your soft folds as he spread them wide and trailed the tip of his thumb up higher and higher until he was right where he needed to be. He took the pad of his thumb and began slow, meticulous circles over your throbbing clit, starting up that building heat in between your legs.

You moaned as he worked you nice and slow, building up the pressure in the back of your spine as you watched his dark eyes become primal. His black pits hungry for the taste of you. “That’s it, sunshine. Tell me how good I’m making you feel. Wanna hear those pretty moans,” he groaned as he sank two fingers into you, sliding up and down, up and down, making you want to lose yourself right there to him.

You heard the wet, sloppy noises as he brought his fingers in and out of you as your slick coated his fingers, heard the sloshing of your throbbing clit as his thumb continued circling and circling your sensitive mound. It was the sound of him claiming you as you poured out your everything to him, and it was so fucking hot.

You moaned out a low, guttural sound as he worked you over and over, up and down, up and down, feeding your pooling arousal, feeding your hunger for him. “Fuck, Joel…” you moaned as you hooked your arms around his neck, your breathing ragged and muddled.

“That’s it, baby. Say my name. Doin’ so good. Such a good girl. Now let go. Come for me. Almost got ya there,” he grunted as he curled his fingers up inside you, hitting that soft, spongy area that had your legs trembling.

“Joel…I’m gonna…I’m…” your voice trailed off as you couldn’t finish your sentence. You were too fucked out, his fingers were too much. He was too much.

“That’s it, sunshine. Come for me. Let me see that pretty face when I make you orgasm,” he growled from deep in his throat, making your eyes go wide at how dominant he was being.

He pressed deeper into your spongy walls, grew more meticulous with his thumb pressed against your clit. You couldn’t hold on anymore. It was dragging you under, threatening to combust at any second.

You felt the slow tingle start to take you down. The pressure in your spine broke as you clenched around his fingers and felt that white, hot sensation start to take formation all over the entirety of your body. You felt your mouth drop open into an O position and felt your wobbly legs start to crumble beneath you. Joel made sure you stayed stable as he held you up as he wrapped an arm around you, wanting you to ride it out for him safely.

You felt your walls flutter around his fingers as hot liquid started pouring down, covering his fingers, his hand. You moaned his name as you let the orgasm take full effect on you. You were breathing hard and throwing your head back as you kept your eyes barely open, keeping your eyes locked on his pitch black eyes.

“Oh, that’s a good girl. That’s a good fucking girl,” he growled as he curled his fingers up again and again, sliding his fingers deeper and deeper until you could barely take anymore. You were so sensitive right now, it was almost too much.

“One more, give me one more, baby. I’ve got ya. Come for me one more time,” he demanded, talking you through your next building orgasm as you were already so close, almost there.

You cringed up as you felt your eyebrows cling together and your eyes on the verge of tears, but it felt so good, so fucking good. He hit the spongy part over and over again as you felt the white heat return. One more hit and you were gone. You felt your entire body become full of bliss as your orgasm washed over his thick fingers, felt yourself surrender completely to him. You were now his and his alone.

“Fuck, Joel,” you moaned as you scratched your nails down his neck.

“I know, baby. I know. Did so fuckin’ good for me, my perfect girl,” he praised as he slowly took his fingers out of your aching cunt and eagerly licked the slick into his mouth, watching him swallow it all. It was so fucking hot, so intimate, so feral. You loved it.

He caressed the side of your face and placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head as he held your tired body against him. He was so…good. The perfect combination of dominant, sweet, protective, and caring. Oh, so caring. You were head over heels for him, lovesick. And you needed more. Now.

You waited a couple minutes until your breathing slowed down and then placed your hand on his rock hard chest. “Joel?”

“What is it, sweet girl?” he asked with warm honey eyes staring down into yours.

“Need you,” you breathed out as you stared into his searing eyes, watching them turn darker, more carnal.

“Need me inside you?” he asked as he backed you up against the wall, caging you in as his broad shoulders shielded you from the water.

“Yes, please,” you begged.

He took his hand and stroked it up and down your jaw as he slid down to your chin and pulled your mouth up to his, hanging just under an inch from meeting his inviting lips. He ghosted his lips across yours as he slid a hand behind your thigh, picking it up and hooking it behind his back.

“Gonna take ya nice and slow, beautiful.” He pressed his lips to yours and kissed you deeply as he picked you up and wrapped your legs around his waist. You felt his erection press against your aching cunt, and then he slowly plunged into you as you felt his thick cock spread you open and split you in half. You were so sore, but he felt too good inside you as he gently started thrusting in and out of you nice and slow, working up another building orgasm.

You moaned into his mouth as you squeezed your legs around him. From this position you could feel all of him, feel every single vibration in your body as his cock drove in and out of you faster, bottoming out at the back of you as you scratched your nails up and down his back as you kissed him harder, more passionately.

He broke off from your lips and trailed kisses up your neck, sinking his mouth down on the most sensitive areas as it sent a wave of slick down your center. You moaned for him, letting him know how good he felt. “Feels so good, Joel. More, give me more,” you begged.

“You want more? I’ll give you more. Hang on tight,” he demanded. He started thrusting deeper as his cock hit the back of you over and over again. He crushed you against the wall as he angled your hips higher as he sank his cock into the spongy, soft part of your walls. It immediately set off the start of your orgasm as you felt the building sensations around your spine start to slowly disperse to your lower regions. He pressed his thumb to your pulsing clit as he rubbed careful circles around the over stimulated area.

“Oh fuck, Joel, I’m gonna come, I’m gonna…” you moaned.

“Go on, come for me, sunshine. Let go,” he whispered against your mouth.

All it took was one more press to your clit and one more thrust to your spongy insides, and you were done for. You felt yourself clench around his thick cock and let yourself spill all over him. Your head went foggy as you moaned his name loud as you hugged him tight around his neck.

“Such a good fucking girl, took me so well. My little ray of sunshine,” he praised, making you dizzy from the name little ray of sunshine.

He thrusted in and out of you faster, harder, and then he was clenching his jaw up and knitting his eyebrows together as his dark pupils expanded over his eyes. One more thrust and he was spilling his seed all inside you as he painted the inside of you white, claiming you as his own.

“Fuck. Feels so good inside you, sunshine. Never felt or tasted anything quite as sweet as you.” He pressed his lips to yours and slowly pulled out of you as his seed spilled down the inside of your thighs. That last line he said to you had you swooning. As sweet as you? Fuck. You were in trouble.

You stared up at him and ran your fingers gently through his salt and pepper scruff as water cascaded down his now slicked back hair. He groaned and leaned into your touch as his eyes turned to warm, honey eyes. Your favorite color eyes.

“So what you’re saying is I’m the sweetest girl you’ve ever met?” you asked flirtatiously as you batted your long eyelashes at him.

“Mhm. The sweetest thing to ever land in my arms. You’re such an angel,” he purred as he ran his thumb affectionately against your cheek. You placed your hand over his and squeezed. You never wanted to let this man go. He was yours, just as you were now his.

“Now, let’s get you cleaned up. I’m sure you’re starving now,” he replied as he took the washcloth and ran it up and down your back, cleaning your soaked inner thighs and center gently as he made sure you were clean from head to toe. He was so caring, so thorough, so gentle. You couldn’t get enough, you’d never get enough.

After you both got cleaned up, he wrapped you in a soft, warm burgundy towel before you stepped out of the shower. The mirror was encased in fog, and steam covered the entire bathroom. It smelled like lavender, sex, and him. It smelled delicious.

“You like pancakes?” he asked as he looked you over as you brushed out your tangled hair.

“Do I like pancakes? Absolutely!” you giggled.

“Good ‘cause I’m gonna go make you some breakfast,” he said as he ran a towel through his hair, making it stick up in all directions that left him with a head full of dishevelled hair. You smiled as you ran your fingers through his wild curls as you smoothed them down to perfection.

“Not without me you’re not,” you smiled.

“Deal,” he replied back with a crooked smile that lit up his dazzling brown eyes, making your insides flip flop from how pretty he was. “Well, I’m gonna get dressed and warm up the coffee. Don’t worry, I’ll make yours extra sweet, just like you are.” He kissed your forehead and walked out of the bathroom, closing the door carefully behind him.

You sighed and leaned against the counter as you internally screamed, not able to get the ridiculously huge grin off your face. This was the happiest you’d ever been. He was what made you happy. He was what you’d been missing. Joel Miller. The man of your dreams.

You quickly dried off and went to grab your clean pair of yoga pants from the other room and threw on the grey hoodie that Joel had left for you. God, it smelled just like him. The coffee stench was all over the warm material. You wanted to keep it for yourself, revel in his scent until it was clinging to your skin.

You dried your hair and brushed out the now smooth, clean locks of long hair as the waves tumbled down your shoulders. You took one more look at yourself in the mirror and nodded. Good enough.

When you walked out to the kitchen, Joel had a fresh cup of coffee waiting for you on the counter, along with ingredients to cook the pancakes. It smelled fresh like cinnamon and apples in the room, and it made your mouth water. You took in his figure as he leaned against the kitchen island. His broad shoulders filled the button-up plaid shirt, and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows like usual. Veins corded his lower arms and wrapped around the backs of his hands. His dark jeans fit him just right as they hugged his muscular legs. His curls were tousled, and he looked ridiculously handsome in the sunlight that was basking from the kitchen window. He must’ve heard you come in because he slowly turned and smiled up at you.

“There you are. I put your cup of coffee right there. Why don’t ya try it and see if ya like it,” he nodded to the porcelain beige cup on the edge of the counter.

You picked it up and smelled French vanilla and cinnamon, your favorite. You took a sip and let the sweet flavor run down your throat as you swallowed the warm liquid. Your eyes lit up as your taste buds hit the super sweet flavor. “This is the best cup of coffee I’ve ever had! What did you put in it?” you almost yelled as you took another big gulp.

He smiled and spun the spoon around his cup of black coffee. “Just some cinnamon, milk, French vanilla creamer, and some sugar. It’s not too sweet is it? I put a ton in.”

“No, no. It’s perfect! Really,” you expressed fervently.

“Oh, good. Glad ya like it, sunshine,” he smiled. You blushed at the nickname.

“So, pancakes?” you asked as you looked at all the cooking materials on the counter.

“Mhm, got everything we need. Let me get the stove goin’,” he said as he moved over to the clean, black stove and turned it on. “You want some bacon and eggs?”

“Sounds good to me,” you nodded.

“Alright. Well, I’ll get the bacon and eggs goin’ and you start on the pancakes. Sound okay?” he asked as he grabbed the carton of eggs out of the fridge.

“Sounds like a plan.”

He smiled and got to work cooking. You started reading the back of the pancake mix directions and then went to mixing all the ingredients together. After stirring the eggs and batter together, you poured some mix in the metal pan and placed it over the stove, keeping an eye on them while they cooked.

Joel brushed up against the back of you as he reached for the butter, gently gliding his hand over your hip as he went back to finishing the scrambled eggs. A small smile crept over your lips as you decided to do the same to him. You went to grab a plate from the cabinet above him and slid your hand up his exposed lower arm, grazing your fingertips along his broad shoulders as you turned around and pulled your hand away from him. You heard a quiet hum come from his chest as you could feel a warm smile encase his lips, and it just made you smile more.

You continued the back and forth, the slight touches, the gentle caresses, the flirtatious acts. It was exactly like how you’d picture a happy couple in a romance film. That’s how it felt with Joel. It was so easy, so natural, effortless. It was like you two had been dating for months. It was strange how easy it was, so carefree.

When everything was finished cooking, you grabbed a plate and fork, but there was only one thing that would make the cinnamon pancakes that much better. “Do you have whipped cream?” you asked Joel as he raised an eyebrow, a smirk on his face.

“Whipped cream huh? You really do have a sweet tooth, don’t ya?” he laughed.

“Sure do,” you beamed.

“‘Course ya do, darlin,” he chuckled. “Here ya go.” He grabbed a can of whipped cream out of the fridge and handed it to you. When you took it, you grazed his fingers as you swiped the cool metal from him.

“Thanks,” you said. When you opened the can and sprayed some out on top of your pancakes, you were feeling flirtatious and wanted to try something. You sprayed some on your finger and rounded the corner of the kitchen island. When Joel turned your way, you spread the creamy whipped cream across his cheek as some dripped down to his salt and pepper scruff.

His eyes went wide in surprise as he stared down at you, a shocked expression lit up on his face. “Oops,” you replied innocently, putting the whipped cream behind your back on the counter.

“Oops?” he mocked as he wiped the whipped cream off with his finger, cleaning off the cold substance from his cheek.

“It was an accident,” you replied as you broke out into a laugh.

“Mhm, right. C’mere,” he smiled as he hooked his arms around your waist and pulled you to him as you squealed at the playful scene. He smeared the whipped cream on your mouth and pulled you to his broad chest.

“Got ya back,” he said with a low chuckle that rumbled through his chest. Before you could respond, he pulled you in and crushed his lips against yours as he cleaned the whipped cream off with his warm tongue. “Mmm delicious,” he smirked as he pulled back.

Your cheeks went crimson as he caressed your cheek and kissed the top of your head in a gentle, affectionate way. “Go on and eat before your food gets cold, sunshine,” he said as he grabbed his plate and went to sit on one of the barstools. You followed after him and took the seat next to him as you took a bite of the pancakes. The sugary goodness slid down your throat as the hint of cinnamon and whipped cream mixed together. It was delicious and super flavorful.

“You did good on the pancakes,” Joel smiled as he scarfed down another bite, nodding up at you.

“I did my best,” you smiled.

“I could get used to this. Cooking with you more often…” he said quietly as he trailed off, digging his fork into a crumbling scrambled egg.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that too,” you beamed.

After finishing your food, Joel took your plate to the sink and rinsed it off as he put it into the empty dishwasher. “So, I was thinking. Maybe we could drive down to the beach today. I know this amazing seafood restaurant that I think you’d really like. Since you told me how much you love clam chowder, I know the best place for that. And if it gets cold, I have a blanket in the back of the truck. Maybe we could watch the sunset, if ya wanted.”

You watched him wash the last dish with his back turned to you, his broad shoulders hugging the red plaid shirt, making it impossibly tight over his massive muscles. You sat there with your elbows on the counter and your hands under your chin. You were admiring him in full. Admiring the thoughtful man that planned the entire date out with things that you’d like to do. You were swooning at how thoughtful and kind he was. He was really trying to impress you and he had passed with flying colors. You just couldn’t get enough of listening to that deep, southern, charming lull of a voice. It was completely hypnotic and soothing, a voice you’d never get enough of. You got lost in your thoughts, and Joel had to pry you from the hypnotic trace you were under.

“What do ya think of that, sunshine?” He looked over at you as he wiped his hands off on a beige hand towel and laid it back on the counter.

“Sounds absolutely perfect,” you said dreamily, a slow smile curling up over your lips.

Joel smiled at you and nodded. “Perfect. Well, let’s try to head out in half an hour. Go on and finish getting ready. I’ll finish up in here.”

“Okay.” You gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before you turned back towards the bathroom to finish getting ready.

The red Chevy quietly hummed on the highway as you headed to Brighton Beach. Journey played softly through the speakers as Joel gently trailed his hand up and down your thigh affectionately, making tingling sensations run through the course of your body. You brought your hand down on his, and he smiled up at you as he squeezed your thigh softly.

“You miss Florida?” Joel asked as he looked at you from the corner of his eye.

“Mmm yeah. I do. I miss home. The sunshine, the white sandy beaches, my family,” you replied in a quiet voice.

“I’m sure ya do. You hear from your family often?”

“Sometimes. They know I’ve been busy, so they don’t call too much. I kinda wish they would.” Your voice came out lower than you wanted it to as you looked out the window, watching the fall breeze blow past you as a pair of seagulls flew by high in the bright sky.

Joel must’ve felt your somber mood because he tightened his grip on your thigh and looked over at you. He had a concerned look on his face as he flicked his eyes over you. “You alright there, sunshine?”

“Mhm, I’m fine,” you said with tight lips.

Joel hummed under his breath as if he didn’t believe you and turned his eyes back on the road. It was quiet for the next few minutes as you gazed out the window, watching the tall buildings and cars go by in a blur. The only thing that was keeping you grounded was Joel pressing slow circles with his calloused thumb against the top of your thigh. It was soothing and peaceful. The calm to the storm that was churning inside you.

You watched the beach come into view as you saw the gentle, blue waves roll in and out as they lapped in and out of the shoreline. The sun shined down on the boardwalk as people walked up and down the way with dogs on leashes and couples strolling hand in hand. It wasn’t too busy, just the right amount of people out on a cool, breezy day.

“I was hopin’ takin’ ya to the beach would bring you a little peace. I know you’ve been missin’ home, so I thought this might help and make ya happy,” he confessed as he turned down the narrow street, only a couple miles from the beach now.

“Oh…” You turned your face towards him and gave him a sincere, heartfelt look as your eyes started to water. “You did this…for me?” you asked barely above a whisper.

“That’s right, sunshine. I love when your face lights up when you’re happy. Just wanna see that glow shine bright over that beautiful face.” He brought your hand up to his lips and gently kissed your knuckles, grazing his lips softly over the back of your hand. Your breath hitched in the back of your throat as he brought your hand down in his lap and held it tight, his fingers curling around yours as he stroked his thumb across the top of your hand.

Oh. He was doing this all for you. For you. To see your smiling face, to make you happy? What an incredible man…

Your entire body was tingling from the gentle caresses he was stroking across your hand. Your heart was so full, beating only for the man that held you close, for the man that would do anything to make you happy. He was so…wonderful. Joel was sensational, amazing.

Joel found an open parking spot right next to the beach and parked the truck. When you hopped out, you hugged the hoodie closer to you as the cool breeze ran through you. Joel locked up the truck, and you followed after him towards the beach.

“The restaurant’s just a couple blocks away. You gettin’ hungry at all?” he asked as his shoulder gently brushed your arm.

“Actually, yeah.”

“C’mon then, sunshine. Let me show you the best seafood place in New York.” He took your hand and guided you forward, leading you to the restaurant. It didn’t take any convincing at all. You’d follow him anywhere.

Joel was right. The food was amazing, fresh, and the best clam chowder you’d ever tasted. It made you miss Florida even more. After the delicious meal, Joel took you back over to the beach, where you spent the rest of the evening.

He took your hand in his and entwined his fingers into yours as you walked along the shoreline, each wave lapping closer and closer to your feet as the waves blew in nice and slow. You focused on the soft crashing of the ocean waves, took in the salty, breezy air, listened as the seagulls sang their songs to each other, focused on the calming serenity the ocean always gave you. It felt heavenly to be back at the beach. You didn’t realize just how much you missed it.

“It’s so beautiful here,” you smiled as you looked out on the shining, blue waters, feeling Joel’s hand clasp around you tighter.

“Yeah, it sure is,” he answered with a sigh. You looked over at him, but he wasn’t looking at the water. He was looking at you.

Oh. You blushed and continued walking along the warm, smooth sand. Your free hand tugging at the strings of Joel’s hoodie and then stuffing your hand into the fleece pocket.

“You cold?” Joel asked as he eyed you up and down carefully.

“A little,” you nodded.

“Let me grab the blanket out of the truck real quick. You okay right here for a minute while I go grab it?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” you replied.

“Alright, be back in just a second.” He turned and walked up to the truck, kicking up dirt from the back of his heels.

You turned and watched the waves come in and out to the shore. It was quiet here now. Barely anyone around. It was like you and Joel had the entire beach to yourselves which was actually really nice. This date had turned out perfect. And now you were going to watch the sunset with Joel Miller? It really couldn’t get better than this.

When he came back, he wrapped the tan, fleece blanket around your shoulders and guided you to a dry patch of sand in the middle of the beach. When he sat down, he spread his legs and folded you into him as he brought you back to rest against his broad chest as his arms circled around your waist. His right hand found yours as he entwined his fingers in yours and leaned his head against your shoulder.

God, it felt good. So romantic, so right. Being in his arms like this made you feel so protected, cared for, seen. You never wanted this day to end, never wanted your time to be over with Joel. And you hoped it never would have to because that would break you into a million pieces, and you were already broken. A shattered vase that kept cracking every day you had to step into that theater. Into that dark, cold lion’s den as the hyenas circled you, waiting to drag you down without a fighting chance to make it out alive.

“You know, I don’t make it out to the beach that often. Haven’t actually been here but once before,” Joel replied as he looked out into the blue horizon.

“You not really a beach guy or what?” you asked as you dug your feet into the soft sand.

“No, no. I like the beach. Guess I just don’t like goin’ by myself. It’s always better with company.” He slid his thumb over yours as the calloused fingers dug into yours, the perfect combination of rough and soft.

“When I was back in Florida, I’d go out to the beach every day and just sit there, taking in the sun and crystal clear water. It was my happy place. It always calmed me down, brought me peace after a hard day. So thank you, for bringing me here. I really needed this.” You shifted your weight and leaned back into him as your head leaned against the crook of his neck.

“Anytime, sunshine, anytime.”

The next few minutes were silent as you focused on the muted lapping of the waves against the sand. The sun was starting to set in the far distance as the sky turned a murky orange and red hue as sunlight painted the vibrant canvas in the sky. A pair of brown pelicans flew off in the distance as they disappeared behind the tall, lit up lighthouse that was off to the right of the beach. It was just like you were in Florida. Almost. Not quite as pretty, but it felt like home away from home.

Home. You missed home so badly. Your family, your friends, your dog, Sandy. You didn’t quite realize how alone you really felt in this state until you were cast as the swan queen. Didn’t really know the true meaning of loneliness until you felt extremely isolated and cast out at the theater with your strict coach and your back stabbing dance partner. It was all weighing heavy on you all of a sudden, crashing down on you like a tidal wave.

You took a deep breath, taking in the salt water air and listening to the water in the distance, focusing on how it lapped at the edges of the sand as it gently rolled back into the ocean gracefully. You closed your eyes and focused on each calculated breath, pretending you were back home, pretending that you were in the presence of your mom and dad, remembering how proud they were that you were following your dreams out in New York.

Dreams. Those dreams felt like nightmares now, just like a cold, sharp knife that drove down into your back, starting at your shoulder blades and working nice and slow all the way down your spine as the blood pooled down your body, emptying you of every ounce until you were washed up and dead to the world. That’s how it felt at the theater with all the fakes and demanding instructors. You felt picked apart, unalive, and wasted. And it was tearing you apart completely.

Your dream was to be a star in a huge ballet, one that you’d been dreaming about ever since you were a little girl. You swore to your mom that you’d get the part when you were older. You’d show all those other dancers who was the best, who was worthy. And that’s exactly what you did. You got your wish, so you should be grateful. Instead, you felt like your feet were chained to the floor and your arms were tied behind your back, unable to escape, unable to do anything of free will but dance until your feet bled and your body broke down from exhaustion.

This wasn’t what you wanted anymore. At least not here. Not with this company. It might be different if you had a less strict instructor, maybe a different dance partner that didn’t threaten you for not giving them what they wanted. Maybe if you had some nice girl friends, ones that were supportive. Not ones that tried to take your place and laughed when you fell or got yelled at.

But you wanted to dance. You wanted this more than anything. You wanted to be the swan, but it was getting so hard. Every day felt like a nail to your ankles, the metal slowly pulling you apart piece by piece. And the anxiety, the depression, the weight of the entire show. It was getting too much. It was too much. Too wearying, too demanding, too crippling. It was getting too heavy, and you knew it. But you pushed through every day somehow, always finding the will to go back in that auditorium and dance your heart out. But where was your heart now? It was long lost at sea, adrift in the murky waters of the dark depths of the ocean, lost to the void.

“Do you ever just want to run away? Go someplace far away, just for a little bit?” you asked quietly as you kept your eyes on the calm, salty water in the distance.

Joel shifted behind you as he brought you closer. “Sometimes,” he replied in a subdued voice.

“I think about leaving all the time…” Your voice tainted off on the last word, your voice barely above a mere whisper.

“Where would you go?” he asked as he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, making your insides shiver against his touch.

You thought for a minute, letting your racing thoughts calm a bit. “Somewhere far across the ocean. Maybe back home. Maybe someplace where it was quiet and I could hear clearly inside my own mind,” you sighed as you sat forward, just barely out of Joel’s grasp.

One more day. Only one more day until you had to go back to that god awful auditorium. Back to being chained to the floor while they threw you to the wolves, screaming at you as the wolves tore you apart, ripping you to shreds as you screamed bloody murder without so much as a single hand to save you. You wanted it to be over, needed it to be over so you could breathe again. Instead, you were suffocated day after day in that theatre of horrors.

Only one more day. One more day. You tried to focus on the calming waves that lapped at the sand, but the hurricane was coming down on you hard in your mind. Your insides were being ripped apart by the shrouded winds, the riptides pulling you under as the waves crashed over you, sinking you into the deep abyss with no way out.

Stay in the light, keep your head above water. Swim, swim! Harder, faster, keep afloat, keep your head up. But the tsunami was closing in on you, the voices completely drowning out any comprehension you had just seconds ago. Instead, it was all taken over by voices from the theatre. Carlotta, Pierre, all the other dancers.

Faster, sharper arms, point your toes, practice longer, again, repeat it a second time, be vigilant, no breaks, you don’t need to eat, keep your head up, smile. Where are you going, little swan? Don’t leave, let’s have some fun, come on now, don’t be shy. Swan!

You shook your head and tried to drown out the voices, but you couldn’t. You were losing the battle fast as your mind turned dark, and then suddenly you were pulled under the deep depths. Drowning and sinking as you ran out of air. A wave of anxiety hit you so hard that it felt as if you were underwater. Suffocating and screaming for help. No one could hear you, no one except for Joel…

You bit your lip hard as you held back a choked breath as you focused on the calm water, where there was peace in front of you. But it didn’t work, it didn’t work. A silent tear escaped your eye and slid down your face slowly as you felt the cold moisture glide down to your chin. You discreetly wiped your eye with the sleeve of the hoodie, but Joel noticed. He always noticed.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” he asked as he tried to get you to look at him as he reached out for you, his hand soft against your shoulder.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” you lied in a clipped tone, your eyes focused on the damp sand just feet from you.

“Now I know that’s a lie. C’mon, baby. Talk to me. What is it?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” You sniffled a little as you held back tears, not wanting to dump your problems on him.

“It’s not nothing, I hear you tearing up. Now look at me,” he said as he reached out his hand and grazed it against your cheek.

You shook your head and said no, but he tried again anyways. “Look at me,” he demanded in a soft, lilty voice as he cupped your chin and turned your face towards him. You kept your eyes down on the ground as you felt the tears building again, almost threatening to spill if you gave in. You couldn’t, you just couldn’t.

He called your name softly and it hit your heartstrings as they pulled and split apart. “Look at me, baby. That’s it,” he encouraged as you pulled your eyes up to meet his gaze, and that’s when you broke. When you saw those deep, concerned eyes staring down at you, you couldn’t hold it in. Couldn’t pretend anymore that you were okay because you weren’t. Not in the least bit.

You crashed into his arms and wrapped your arms around him tightly as you let the tears spill freely. Let the weight of everything crash over you as the panic set in. Joel enveloped you in his arms and stroked the back of your hair in slow, gentle strides as he tried to soothe you of your breakdown.

“Hey, it’s alright. You’re safe. You’re with me. I got you, I got you. Shhhh.” He soothed you as he kept his hand running through your long locks as you quietly cried into the plaid material of his button-up. You stayed like that for a few minutes, tucked into his side, trying to compose yourself again as you washed away all the tears before you could speak again.

Joel’s warm embrace and his gentle touches against the back of your hair were so soothing, so peaceful. He was your anchor, pulling you out from the dark depths of the sea and back into the light where you could breathe freely. He was like a fresh breath of spring, the one thing that could calm you down and ground you back to earth.

You were like a willow tree with low hanging branches getting pulled every which way. Carlotta, Pierre, the other dancers trying to drag you out of the ground, take all your dying roots and rip them out of the soil. But Joel was the one thing that could keep you rooted. The one that could tether you down to the ground and keep your roots alive with water and special care. He was like oxygen to your lungs, keeping you thriving and vibrant. A life spring of water just for you, to keep you alive.

As you brought your face out of his chest and looked up at him, he cupped your chin and wiped away the last remaining tear on your cheek with his calloused thumb. He was staring down at you with warm, honey eyes, his eyebrows knit together as his forehead creased in concern.

“It’s the theater. Ain’t it?” he asked with a knowing look written all over his face.

“Mhm,” you hummed out.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asked as he caressed his thumb gently over your cheek affectionately.

You nodded slowly. “I just feel so overwhelmed. It’s too much. They’re demanding too much out of me. And everyone is so unkind, and I just feel like an outsider and no one wants me there. And I feel so alone, so painfully alone. Like I could cry out for help and no one would hear me. Nobody heard me but you…” you said in a tense, hushed voice. Your breathing coming out shallow as you stared into those brown pools of honey as they melted into yours.

“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry…” His voice trailed off as he stroked up and down your back soothingly, taking away your panic slowly but surely. “I’m sorry they’ve made ya feel that way, that they made you feel so small, so fragile. But listen to me. You’re a rare gemstone. A delicate, beautiful dancer. You are so special, so fucking special. And you deserve the world. You deserve to be treated right. You deserve much better than how that sick, twisted ballet company treats you. You deserve so much more, sunshine. So much.” His knitted brows relaxed, but he was staring at you so passionately, so intensely that your mouth was slightly agape at the words that just came out of his mouth. You were speechless, didn’t know what to say. All you could think was how wonderful he was and how had this man ended up in your life at the perfect time.

“I wish I could take it all away from you, all your worries, all your tears. I don’t like seein’ ya cry and definitely don’t like seein’ ya hurt. If ya want to walk out of that theater, then I will gladly support you in that decision. They’re breaking ya, sunshine. And I don’t wanna see you broken, baby. I wanna keep you in one piece. Wanna see you shine like I know you do.” He gave you an encouraging smile as he pulled a lock of hair behind your ear as he gently grazed your jawline with his thumb.

“How did you stumble into my life at exactly the right time I needed you?” you asked in disbelief as your eyes got watery again as you ran your fingers gently through his salt and pepper scruff.

“Guess I was sent there for a reason and that reason was you. To find you, my sweet girl.” He continued to graze his thumb over your jawline and cheek, sending bursts of serotonin through your racing heart, silently calming the hurricane in your body.

“Joel, you saved me. If I wouldn’t have met you, I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done at this point. You pulled me back into the light, showed me that I’m not truly alone here. You’ve been so very careful and gentle with me, and I just can’t thank you enough for keeping me afloat when I was constantly getting dragged under the deep end. You’re so…important to me.” You kept your eyes locked on his as he pulled you in closer. He picked you up in his lap and held you against his chest as his arms wrapped around you, blanketing you with warmth.

“And you are important to me, sweet girl. Such a little ray of sunshine when you smile. My pretty girl.” He pulled you in and softly kissed your lips as he hugged you to his body. You kissed him back as you wrapped your arms around his neck, taking in his mahogany scent as you drank him in. When the two of you pulled apart, he kept you close to his chest as he held you securely. You’d never felt that safe in your entire life.

“What are you gonna do?” he asked as he looked over your shoulder at the setting sun, watching as purples and pinks swirled together in the orange, amber sky.

You sighed as you answered back. “I’m going to stay. I need to see this through. I just need to get through these two months. I need to, for my own sanity. I want this part. I want to dance. I’m just afraid I’m losing my passion for it because this company has been the absolute worst experience of my life, and it’s doing everything in its power to drag me down.” You cringed up as your eyes turned somber and your insides felt hollow.

“Hey, look at me.” Joel cupped your chin and turned you to face him. He kept his eyes directly on you as he spoke. “You are the swan. You are powerful, passionate, beautiful, graceful, and a force to be reckoned with. You are so talented and gonna knock ‘em dead on opening night. Use that gift of yours to light up the stage. And if you’re ever doubting yourself or thinkin’ you’re not good enough, just think of me. Because I believe in you. You are more than good enough, you are perfect. I’ve never seen anybody else dance quite like you do. You’re one of a kind, sunshine. And you’re gonna go big places.”

“Oh, Joel, that’s…that’s…” You couldn’t believe he had just said those beautiful things to you. God, you were so head over heels for this man. He was so good, too good. “You’re amazing,” you finally breathed out, finishing your sentence.

“Nah, I wouldn’t say that. Just wanna make ya happy, wanna take care of ya,” he smiled as his brown eyes flashed your way.

“You do, Joel. You do,” you nodded.

He smirked down at you as he planted a quick kiss to your forehead. “Don’t focus on your instructor or any of the other dancers. Just try to keep your mind cleared, relax your body, take some deep breaths, and think of me if you start to panic. Let me demonstrate. Okay, look at me. Eyes on me,” he instructed. You followed his instructions and kept your eyes on him.

“Good. Focus on me, only me. Nice deep breaths,” he said as he inhaled and exhaled nice and slow. You followed his lead and did as he said. You instantly felt better after about a minute, but looking at his soft features really helped. Being in his presence and his arms helped.

“Alright, nice job, sunshine. That’s what I want you to do every day. Just focus on the music, on how your body is feeling, then focus on me. I can calm ya down, make sure you’re not drowning in all of the chaos. I’ll keep ya in the light. I always will,” he promised as he grazed his thumb over your bottom lip, sending electricity through your spine.

“Is that a promise?” you asked with hope in your eyes.

“Yes, it’s a promise,” he nodded.

“No one’s ever cared about me the way that you do…” you whispered, overwhelmed with emotions that were stirring like a tidal wave inside you.

“Well, I care a great deal for ya, sweetheart. I’m really glad I met you, my sweet girl.”

You smiled up at him and he returned the same warm grin. He slowly pulled you back in and locked his lips with yours as he gave you a passionate, steady kiss. He tasted like coffee, honey, and your future. It was etched in the crease of his lips, a promise to be yours forever. You could taste it, feel it. And you knew, you knew then. You were in love with him. You were so deeply in love.

You spent the next half hour safe in his arms as you watched the sun gracefully go down behind the fluffy clouds. The sky was lit up like a paint canvas. Extraordinary colors encompassing the clear sky as shades of purples, pinks, oranges, and reds danced together, mixing into a beautiful ray of water colors. The water gently lapped at the shore as you heard dolphins whistling at each other offshore in the far distance, barely seeing their tails leave the water as they slapped at the surface gracefully. The salty air filled your lungs and set a wave of calmness through you. And it was almost like you were back home. Almost, just almost.

You were almost at peace, the stirring storm inside you calmed for now. And it was all because of Joel. Your undying light in a sea of darkness when you could barely find your way out. He was your peace, and he saved you. Again. And he’d continue to save you. For as long as you needed him. Your gentle, brooding savior. Your rescuer.

Yours.

As you drove back to the city, you let the evening lights fade into view as you rested your head against the cold widow. Today had been absolutely perfect, the best date you had ever been on. Joel was such a romantic, a sweet southern gentleman. And you were a complete hopeless romantic for him and his brown syrupy eyes. Never wanting to forget this day as it was grounded into your brain for eternity.

As the glow of the tall buildings came into focus, you realized just how close you were to being back at your apartment. That’s where Joel was taking you, back to your place. Back to that empty, lonely room where your mind would slowly eat you alive until you were a puddle of anxiety on the floor.

“I hope ya had fun today, darlin’,” he drawled as he turned a corner, stopping at a red light as he looked over at you.

“I had the best time with you. Thank you for doing that. For taking me on the best date, for taking me to the beach, for everything.” You smiled at him as you pushed a hand through his messy curls. He groaned at the response of your touch, a deep sigh running through his chest as he hit the gas pedal when the light turned green.

“Anytime, sunshine. I’m glad ya had fun. I’d like to uhh do it again sometime, take ya on another date. If you want to, that is,” he said with a blush flushing his exposed neck, his nerves driving the rest of the sentence out of his mouth.

He was so cute when he was nervous. Especially when he was acting all shy. He was absolutely adorable when he was like that. “I’d love to go on another date with you,” you beamed at him, your smile meeting your cheeks as your wide grin spread across your glowing face.

“Good, that’s good,” he smiled as he focused on the dark road ahead of him.

You were just a few blocks from your apartment now, almost time to say goodbye to Joel. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want to be alone in that quiet, empty place. Didn’t want to be alone with your thoughts because that’s when the racing anxiety would crowd your mind and take over, sending you into panic attacks and hysteria.

Three more blocks, two more blocks, one more block. You didn’t want him to leave, you wanted him to stay. Don’t go, don’t go. Stay, stay with me. Your mind was a mess, you were a wreck. You wanted to go back to his place with him, wanted him to wrap you tight in his arms again under his warm sheets where it was safe and sound. Wanted him to take away all your worries as you got wrapped up in him completely, wanted his calloused fingers to explore every crevice of your body again as you fell apart again and again under his touch. You couldn’t ask him any of this though. You were being selfish. It was too much, you were being too much.

The truck came to a complete halt as he parked right next to your blue painted door, the engine humming softly as the background noise of the radio faded away. You didn’t want to get out, you just wanted to stay. Stay with him. Stay, stay, ask him, ask him.

Joel turned towards you as he put an arm across the back of your seat, taking a moment to breathe before he spoke. “I had a really great time with ya today. You’re pretty good company.” A warm smile encompassed his lips as his pretty brown eyes honed yours.

“Yeah, I feel the same,” you smiled back. “Joel, thank you again. For being there for me, for showing me I’m not truly alone here,” you said quietly as your voice trailed off.

“Oh, sunshine.” He hooked a lock of hair behind your ear as he grazed his calloused fingers down your jaw, sending vibrations buzzing through your body as it drowned out the anxious thoughts. “You’re not alone, not as long as I’m here. I’ll always be here for ya, whenever you need me. I’ll always come to your rescue.”

You could feel a tear trying to break free behind your eyelids, but you choked it down. Now was not the time for tears. You just smiled and nodded at him, mouthing thank you in response. He pulled you to him and your lips locked together as his fingers gently entwined in your hair, feeling every smooth surface of his lips against yours.

When the kiss ended, you had a hard time pulling away. You wanted to stay where it was warm, where it was safe. But it was time to go inside. You couldn’t keep him here in the truck all night. Even if you wanted to.

You hesitated to grab your practice bag that sat underneath your feet, but you slowly fetched it as you brought it up to your thighs unhurriedly. It felt like the biggest weight on your chest as you knew you were about to get out of the Chevy, leaving Joel and entering that lonely, miserable apartment that only reminded you that it was almost Monday.

Instead of throwing a sad, muted expression, you gently smiled up at him as you said your goodbye. “Well, goodnight. Today was perfect.” You put your hand on the cool metal handle and barely pulled, opening the truck door the tiniest bit.

“Goodnight, my little ray of sunshine. Can’t wait to see your pretty face again.” Little ray of sunshine. You loved that nickname. He grazed the side of your upper arm as you felt the slow burn all the way through the thick fleece material of the hoodie. It pulled low, and you could feel it in the back of your spine.

You sat in place as you looked out the tinted window, staring at your pale blue door with the number four staring holes into your eyes, taunting you to come back into its empty, hollow abyss while it tore your mind apart. You stared absentmindedly ahead of you, not wanting to get up, not wanting to leave the comfort of Joel. But you had to. You had to.

It’s like Joel had a sixth sense around you, he could always feel when something was wrong. He could read your emotions, feel your racing thoughts like he could hear them in his mind too. Maybe he was just so in tune with your body now that he could tell when something was wrong, when something was off. But before you overstayed your welcome, you opened the passenger side door fully and scooted to the edge of the leather seat, almost jumping down onto the concrete.

Before you could get far, Joel shot his arm out and latched his hand around your wrist, stopping you before you could walk away. You slowly turned and you could see his gaze steadily on you as he ran his other hand through his wild curls.

“Do you wanna come back with me, stay the night again? You don’t have to if you don’t wanna, but I just figured maybe you’d want to. Don’t really wanna leave ya alone in there tonight. I’d feel better if you came back with me so I could hold you in my arms again. Right where you belong…” He trailed off as his words came off quiet and calm, the air around you thick with tension.

He wanted you to go back with him so he could hold you in his arms? Oh…

You felt your eyes widen as the realization set in. “Oh, uhhh actually, yeah. There’s nothing else I’d rather do,” you said earnestly as you stared at him with glistening eyes.

“Alright, go get your stuff then. I’ll be waitin’ out here.”

You nodded as you pushed yourself out of the truck, grabbing your bag as you searched for the keys at the bottom. You grabbed them up and placed the key in the lock, twisting and pushing the door open. You were welcomed with the cold air and dark room. You flipped the switch on and got busy gathering up clothes, toiletries, and practice clothes. In case you stayed Sunday night too.

When you finished up, you locked up the apartment and climbed back in the truck as you slammed the door and buckled your seatbelt up.

“You have everything?” he asked as he watched you place your now full bag on the ground.

“Mhm,” you hummed.

“Good. Let’s go home then,” he smiled as he put the truck in drive and pulled out of the parking place, taking his place on the road again. He gently grabbed your hand and kissed the back of your knuckles, grazing his plush lips against your soft skin as he brought your hand down into his lap, entangling your fingers with his. It felt so good, so right. So very right.

Home. He just said home. It wasn’t your home, but it felt like home. He was your new home. That’s exactly how he felt. He was your sanctuary, your safe space, your light.

He held you so tight that night, his calloused fingers trailing up and down your body as they soothed you, comforted you into a gentle lull of sweet dreams. This was what Heaven felt like, what having a guardian angel felt like. And he was home. He was your home. Joel.

Tags: @amyispxnk @burntheedges @dugiioh @ladamari68 @shmaptainshmerica07 @blueseastorm @joelalorian

Part 5

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