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pink-dust-kitten · 7 years

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If You Have Dieties, Listen To Them

So, my recent ex (1 month), who I broke up with but have still been on good terms with, lives/works in the area of the Napa/Sonoma fires. Yesterday he contacted me to let me know he was okay, and we stayed in contact throughout the day. I was INSANELY worried, because he told me the flames were only a mile from his house, and due to traffic there was no way to evacuate. He promised to keep me updated, then disappeared for an hour, then gave me just a short text that he was okay, then another hour of nothing. I broke up with him because I need to follow my own path, but I still loved him because our relationship wasn't -bad-, it was just holding me back.

In the time between messages I went to my altar and perform the strongest protection spell I have ever cast on anyone ever. I used literally all the strength I could muster, and in my spell told my deities that I was willing to sacrifice whatever was necessary to ensure his survival. To my surprise, my sacrifice was declined, and I was told it was not necessary. I was devastated because in my state of panic I took this to mean that whether he lived or died was out of my hands and no sacrifice would change it.

The day dragged on and I spent most of it crying, freaking out and completely incapable of working. A few hours later I got a short phone call from him where he gently soothed me and said he was okay, that they were ready to evacuate if they had to, that they knew the back roads well enough that it would be no problem to get out, that where they were was safe. Through this whole ordeal, I found myself missing him more than I had through the whole breakup. The thought of him dying made me realize how much I still loved him, and I wondered if the trials he's endured over the past month might change him enough to make us able to get back together. This was the first time that thought had even crossed my mind. I wanted him to come stay with me so I could hug and comfort him, and over the phone he was sweet and caring with his soft, soothing voice.

He promised to keep me updated, but I didn't hear from him again until about 8:30 pm when he texted me to say the fire was retreating and he was safe and he'd keep me updated the moment anything happened. 12 hours of paralyzing fear. 12 hours of keeping my phone within arms reach, too panicked and drained from my spell to work, and it ended abruptly. I passed out hard.

Around 4am I woke to the smell of smoke and realized one of my roommates had left the kitchen windows wide open. The panic began again because the night before the smoke had mostly cleared, so I looked online for any updates. What I found was a map of the fires.

The nearest fire was 20 miles from where he was.

I reread the texts, I thought through the phone call again.

I can't believe how stupid I was. He totally played me. He had me on edge, worried sick about him all day, parcelling out tiny comforts with a hook in every one, catching me further and dragging me along. On the phone I almost said I loved him. I wanted to beg him to come home, even though I was the one that broke up with him.

Moral of the story: I should have taken the hint when my deities said I didn't need to make a sacrifice because he didn't need it.

He didn't need it because he's a lying, manipulative little shit, and apparently I'm even better off without him than I realized.

Also, be careful when you offer a sacrifice like that. Once -his- spell broke I realized that I could have gotten myself into deep shit begging openly like that. I'm damn lucky nothing nasty dove in to accept my offer anyway.

#witch stories #witch #fuck boys #breakup

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