#countryhumans czechia | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

minimag1c · 1 year

Text

GUESS WHO'S BACK WITH ANOTHER SHITTY WRITING

C'EST BIBI AAAH

Ahem sorry.

Also not a cookie run one-shot this time, it's countryhumans. OK. Outrageous.

It was Supposed to Be a Rendez-vous At The Cinema But Oh God What's happening

Characters :

🇺🇸Usa |He/They (Questioning afab/panromantic asexual)

🇨🇿Czechia |She/They (Genderfluid afab/aromantic asexual)

🇵🇱Poland |She/Her (Cis female/bisexual)

🇩🇪Germany |He/Him (transgender ftm/unlabeled)

Request by Ambery101

➪Disclaimer :I don't know how to write chaos so I've just tried to make it at least interesting so uh yeah sorry in advance-

___________________________________________

"what about the roller-coaster? Apparently a new one just opened recently and it seems cool" Czechia said as she sipped a little bit from her Malinovka drink while Germany looked at his phone, trying to find anything places who were still open for this hot Sunday. The two alongside with Poland and -surprisingly- Usa just decided to hang out together since they didn't do it that much.

But it seems like the date was really a bad idea.

Of course, it was Sunday and that's means not a lot of buildings and other places for entertainment and other things such as restaurants, karaokes or swimming pools were closed. There wasn't a lot of people as well outside because they were in their house resting from the rough week while other can't even work like Tonga because it was against her country's rules.

At least they were lucky that this one was open for some times.

Poland took a bite of pierogi and looked at the Czech girl. "Mmh I'm not really into the roller-coaster thingie, I'm not a fan of height to be honest" she shrugged as she put down her fork and wiped her mouth with a small towel.

Czechia frowned a little but just let it pass, maybe there would be more places to go. "Alright then. let's see something else..." she checked the other places who were still open while Ame kept drinking his cranberry juice, still looking at Germany's phone who seemed to struggle a little to find one as well.

"Mmh... What about this karaoke? I've never been there but apparently it has a lot of positive reviews" he suggested as Usa finished the last drop of his drink and shrugged his shoulders. "sounds good to me! " Germany acquiesced too but the Czech girl seemed to hesitate. "Uhm... I don't know, I'm not really found on singing and plus my voice is not even that good." she added sheepishly. Usa was about to protest but Poland spoke first before him.

"Alright then, let's skip karaoke. After all, we just want everyone to enjoy this afternoon, right?" she said. Usa was about to say something but quickly shut their mouth and crossed their arms nearly like a pouting child while Germany chuckled a little, covering his mouth.

The German kept scrolling through his phone until he found something that caught his attention.

"What about this cinema? Apparently it's still open" he proposed while the three looked up.

"It's still open ?"Czechia asked, curious.

"uh Apparently?" usa said, leaning onto the German to have a better view of the site. "It close at 5 pm". Poland hummed and looked at her watch. "It's actually 4 pm. We still have time."she said and looked at her friends. "You guys are fine with this or no?"

"Mhm seems like a good idea. Sure. Why not?" Czechia said, smiling, looking over the two boys who nodded their head as well. The polish girl put her fork down and stood up a little bit dramatically, much to Czechia amusement.

"Then it's settled."she announced but hesitated a little." Uh who pays the food this time? " everyone looked at USA who looked at them back, a confused look but sighed in defeat and pulled out his wallet while Germany laughed a little.

Soon, the group left out the restaurant and walked away, chatting there and there as Czechia pulled out her phone from her pocket.

"Okay so, what movie should we watch?" She asked, looking at her friends. They both thought a little bit about it before suggesting some movies... Maybe a little too much for czechia to follow.

"Alright alright. Seems like you have a lot of suggestions." they added with a soft chuckle in which Germany responded by shrugging his shoulders, smiling.

"Maybe you should take notes?" Poland asked.

"Oh yeah you're right!" The Czech country said, and was about to look for their bag not knowing that their phone was in their hands.

But suddenly, czechia's blood ran cold and stood still like a statue, an horrified expression on their face.

"Czechia? You okay?? What's happeni- oh kurwa." Poland said, a frown starting to get on her face. Germany and USA looked at each other with a mix of confusion and concern.

"Hey what's happening?" the American asked, raising an eyebrow at the two girls. Germany was about to ask the same thing until he finally realized.

"You didn't took your bag." he said, his eyes widening as Czechia nodded. Usa seemed to notice it too and exclaimed with surprise.

"You didn't took your bag?! How didn't you notice???" he asked as Czechia looked at them, holding her hands up.

"I-i don't know how, but I was sure that I had it!" she stammered.

"Czechia, calm down! Maybe we just left it at the restaurant! No need to panic" Poland tried to reassure the Czech girl by putting her hand on her shoulder as Czechia inhaled and breathed sharply to calm herself down. "Alright, alright sorry.." she apologized.

"Maybe we should check at the restaurant, just in case?" Germany suggested, trying to ease the situation a little as Czechia though about it and slowly nodded.

"Y-yeah maybe we should do that." she said, still in shock.

[...]

The group went back to the restaurant, a little bit panting because they have run all the way back and it was probably not a very good idea since people kept looking at them in a weird way, maybe because it wasn't everyday that you see four persons with flag on their faces running like crazy.

But hey, at least they arrived. That's all matters.

Unfortunately, their seats were already taken by a small family and Czechia's bag was nowhere to be seen, in which the Czech girl was starting to get desperated.

"Don't panic, Czechia." Poland tried to reassure. "Maybe we can ask the waiter or someone like that?".

"Me and USA would ask them. Meanwhile, you two should probably find another solution in case if this doesn't work." Germany added as he took Usa's arm and dragged them inside the restaurant.

On the other hand, the two girls tried to check the surroundings, asking each person who came across the area if, perhaps, they've found a hippie bag somewhere around there. Unfortunately, they've all said no. Czechia was about to lose hope until a woman told them something different.

"I'm sorry I don't think i've saw a bag hanging around but maybe you two should check if there's another way to find it?" she suggested. Czechia though about it and Poland thank her, a little bit disappointed as the two came back where they left Ger and Usa, disappointed as well.

"I guess you two didn't found any clue as well" Poland stated as the two shook their head.

"no but we have found a random Karen yelling at the waiter so me and Ger thought that it would be better to leave them." Usa said bluntly, earning a confused look from Poland. Czechia sighed.

"we found nothing either in our sides but apparently we should find an other way to locate it. Usa, didn't you told me that the airpod you offered me as my birthday gift were real?"

Usa blinked in confusion. "w-what ? What does it has to do with your bag being stolen??" he asked but Czechia insisted. "the airpod you gave me. Are they real?"

"uh yeah but why tho-"

"if they are real than we could probably tell where are they located since I have already connected to my phone and they're always in my bag!" they realized. Poland and Germany both exanged a confused look.

"So you're telling me that there's a chance to find it in this way?" the polish girl asked.

"Yeah! You! Come with me" Czechia said as she grabbed the arm of Germany, earning a small yelp from the man.

"W-warte ab! Why ME-" Too late, he already got dragged away, leaving Usa and Poland awkwardly in the middle of the street.

The polish girl looked at Usa raising an eyebrow before shrugging and following the path the two have went. "let's hope that your gift would be useful"

Usa rolled his eyes.

[...]

It was 4:45 pm and Czechia as well with Germany was next to the lake where a lot of crowds would go usually. At this rate, the Czech girl was a this close of losing her self-control because of how much she was angry but tried to remain calm.

Well. She tried, much to Germany's concern.

When the two arrived at the police station, Czechia directly tried to find a free post that can take her the fastest way possible. At first, she stayed calm but eventually started to panic with the thought that her bag would be stole from across the city. Which was something she didn't really want to.

After all, who would want that.

And after 5 long minutes of waiting, they finally got received but the police was so annoying that they just decided to tell her with the most deadpan face that her bag was near the river and that's it, they kicked them and closed their door.

"Calm down Czechia I'm pretty sure that the robber who stole your bag isn't that far away? Poland and USA are already searching in their own!" he tried to reassure them but Czechia was still doubtful, knowing how sometimes, there will be still a lot of crowds forming near the lake and if karma decided to get mischievous today, she wouldn't be surprised if she found her bag floating on the water.

The two were about to go on the other side when the Czech girl got startled by someone who suddenly put their hands on their shoulders. Turned out it was Poland with widening eyes, as if she witnessed an horrifying sight, which seemed a little bit true with her constatation. USA was trailing behind, a small weird smile on his face.

"We found them."

"Excuse me what?"

The American designed with his knuckle, next to the other side of the lake, two men who were both taking pictures of themselves. They were quite far from the group but Germany could see that one of the men wore dreadlocks and a yellow shirt while the other a blue hat and a red one. At first, Czechia didn't knew why their friends pointed these two until they noticed that the one with the red shirt had something in his hand and held it as if it was a new item he bought and that he was proud of it.

And it was her bag! Well, she tough.

"What?! Wait wait wait, how can you two be sure that this is mine???" the Czech girl said, trying to not get too hopeful because she didn't wanted to make it awkward.

"Come on Czechia, this is litteraly your bag! Look, it even have the small mark that your knife pocket has done accidentally inside!" Poland whispered-yelled.

"Poland, you're kilometers away from them! How can you even te-" they got cut off when the polish girl suddenly turned their head to make them notice that the bottom of the item got a small stitch with a red string.

"Oh."

"See now?" Poland said in a mocking tone, making the Czech country rolling their eyes.

"Soo... What are we gonna do?" Germany asked, looking at his friends.

"what do you mean "what are we gonna do"?? Don't we just need to corner them, take the bag and report them to the police? "USA asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. "Czechia said, a little bit worried about how Poland seemed to be on Usa's side.

"and I'm pretty sure that a plan is pretty useless at this rate. These two are literally taking pictures with YOUR bag inside the photo. Do you really think that they would realize that the girl that they have stolen the bag is just behind them, plotting to report them to the police??" the polish girl asked, earning a thoughtful "Mmh" from Germany, making Czechia sigh in exasperation.

"Alright, if y'all insist but we can't just bring ourselves to show up like that! Probably we should go two by two and corner them and-"

"Czechia. They are just as high as the burg Khalifa at this rate. First, they take pictures with your bag as if it's theirs then they don't even realize that four people who are standing in the middle of nowhere are watching them from afar, without being discreet."Poland said, deadpan. Czechia sighed once again.

"Alright then, but still Germany and USA you two stick together while Poland and I will follow them a little closer. Alright?" they instructed. Usa shrugged. "Alright then but can we at least jump on them when they have their back turned??" the American asked, oddly getting a little enthusiastic knowing the context.

"You know that my pocket knife is still in my bag right?" czechia constated, a little worried about how her friend was getting excited about having to fight with people because they have stole their bag.

"To be honest, I agree with Poland for once. They don't even seemed to be sober enough to know that they have an actual weapon even tho they had YOUR bag for, like, 2 hours already? Maybe? " Germany said, earning a surprised but energetic nod from the polish girl.

Okay probably that made Czech felt that the three were actually unhinged and it was a little disturbing. But hey, at least it's not that much chaotic even tho the author actually wanted to write something in this way but doesn't even know to do proper grammar so t

he gave up and made it at least bearable for the readers.

Anyway, the group of friends finally decided to go with it because not only the sun was about to go down but also because the two were starting to go away and they didn't want to lost them.

After they split up in two, Czechia saw that Germany and USA were in the other side, surprisingly cautious as well, following the two men. Seems like Poland was right after all, the thieves were litteraly being followed by four litteral countries but they didn't seem to realize that.

"Okay, how many minutes should we follow them like dumbass as if we're discreet even if we're not until we can grab your bag and report it to the police?" Poland asked, earning an exasperated sigh from Czechia.

"Look I'm trying my best to not panicking right now but knowing that I'm this close of either getting my stuff back or finding it in a mysterious car or thrown out in a dust bin." Czechia said out of reflex, feeling the panic back. Poland shrugged.

"sorry." she apologized.

"that's fine." Czechia replied.

"Guys?" USA said, gaining the attention of everyone. They've noticed the weird path of the two person who stumbled wobbly while completely ignoring - or maybe too much high to notice - the four.

The man with a red shirt was the one holding the bag while the one with dreadlocks held weird papers and keys that he kept swinging around his fingers while wobbling around with his friend.

Czechia wondered why did one of them had papers and keys until they found out that it was probably theirs. Czechia panicked even more.

That reached the point when the two thieves suddenly went apart, going into opposites directions.

Out of instinct, the Czech girl yelled.

"GET HIM!" Czechia said as Poland and USA didn't wait another second and launched at the guy who wore the blue hat and red shirt who seemed to barely react - or even understand - what's going on. However, the one with the dreadlocks knew exactly what was happening. Out of panic, he frantically looked around, trying to find a way to get out of this situation.

The man who escaped directly ran away while Usa still yelled at him to come back, leaving the red shirt one with Germany and Poland. On the meanwhile, Czechia automatically took her bag and frantically started to check inside, getting scared that it wasn't actually her and the red string was just a false proof. They felt their heart sink when they saw that there were nothing inside the bag. Poland was trying to calm down USA who was making sure that the thied with red shirt wouldn't escape and noticed how the Czech person was at this close of crying of stress until she nearly screamed in joy when she saw the airpods that helped her to track it. But soon, her joy was replaced with concern. Yes, it was her bag and her aipods were inside but aside from a handkerchief and pills, there was nothing else. Her Identity card and keys weren't there. That's when she noticed another thing as Poland got closer to her.

"Co. Polsko, where's Germany???" they asked as Poland also seemed to notice it too, even USA perked up, still making sure that one of the thief doesn't run away.

"Didn't he followed us?" the American asked, ignoring how the man he caught tried to bite his arms.

That was until they heard police voices and a booming one who gave commands.

It wasn't that far, in fact, it was 3 meters away only, so the three could at least see what was going on.

Then they saw three police officers, one of them pinning down the one with dreadlocks as one of them took the papers, keys and other stuff that he had in hand while the third one said something inside his talkie-walkie. During this scene, Germany just stood awkwardly a few inches away from them, his eyes widened and his arms crossed over his chest, saying nothing.

"I think those are yours m'am" one of the police officers said, going into Czechia's direction and handing the rest of the item who weren't inside the bag. The countryhumans didn't hesitated and took them, inspecting them and sighed in relief when she saw that her ID card and keys were actually hers.

Poland went to Germany and asked, a little bit confused. "uhm, care to explain how the fuck those guys found us?" she asked as the German coughed.

"Well, while you two were dealing with his partner, I noticed that the one who stole Czechia's belongings was about to run away, hoping inside a random bus. I didn't really wanted to fight him so the best that I could do was to call the police that we have found the culprit. To be honest, I thought that they would never come until they suddenly appeared behind the trees and bushes. "he tried to explain. The polish girl just let out a surprised "ah".

"Uhm... Sir? Could you please let us arrest the other culprit?" the other police officer asked to USA who was still holding tightly the man.

The American blinked a few times and gave like it was a simple item him to the other. "Sure, there you go." they calmly said, destabilizing a little bit the officer.

Czechia looked at the watch on her phone and widened her eyes, seeing how much time has passed and it was now 5:10 pm. And to think that it all started because they wanted to hang out together.

"M'am" one of the police officer said, peeking the concerned girl's attention. She turned her head to look at him.

"Ano? What's the matter?" she asked as the man seemed hesitant to tell about the thing he have noticed.

"we need to tell you something about the thieves" he said as Czechia blinked a few times in surprise, feeling a little concerned.

"uh okay, tell me please"

[...]

"CO?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WAS A MINOR??!" Cezchia asked, well more like yelled to the police officer who widened his eyes a little and coughed awkwardly.

"Sorry m'am but as we saw his identity card that he is only 17 years old, we can't therefore perform a proper arrest." he explained.

Both Poland and Germany seemed to be confused. "Uh since when minors have an identity card?" the German asked as Poland shrugged her shoulders. On the other hand, Czechia was boiling in rage.

"HE LITTERALY HAVE A BEARD AND FUCKING WRINKLES!! HOW THE FUCK IS HE A MINOR??? AND A MINOR ON DRUGS WITHOUT SUPERVISION??" she resonated, still yelling, gaining the attention of a few people who were still there. The police officer still stood awkwardly but he still maintained his argument.

"as much as we want to invest in m'am, it clearly said that your thief is a minor and according to the laws, we can't perform an arrest."

Oh you don't know how angry Czechia was right now. Even USA seemed to notice it and joined Poland and Germany, who both also knew that it would end well.

Germany was about to stop the fight between Czechia and the police until he felt his phone vibrating inside his pocket.

[...]

It was nearly 8:30 pm and Berlin was sleeping on his desk, snoring loudly, as numerous papers scattered on his workplace while one of them had a small puddle of saliva on it. He was sleeping peacefully with nothing that would disturb his slumb-

"AY AY AY AY I'M YOUR LITTLE BUTTERFLY! AY AY AY I'M YOUR LITTLE BUTTERFLY! AY AY AY-"

Berlin suddenly woke up, more like got jumpscared in his dreams at the sudden ringtone. He grumbled a German curse word as he rubbed his eyes in tiredness and checked who the fuck was calling him at this hour.

To his surprise, it was Vienna.

Confused, the German picked it up and before even having the time to understand why did Austria's capital called him, he got yelled at, well in some way.

"DID YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED AFTER?? CAN YOU TELL ME??" the austrian yelled through the phone, making Berlin flinch from the sudden noise. The German capital waited for him to calm down and responded, with less energy and more confusion.

"Okay, first, what the fuck are you even talking about and second, what IS the thing that makes you yell at midnight??"

Vienna didn't talked for a small second before clearing his throat.

"okay, sorry from yelling but weren't you with Germany??" he asked as Berlin got more confused.

"but what are you even talking about??" the german asked.

"... Oh" was all austrian could say but upon hearing that, Berlin couldn't help but feel worried.

"But why, what's happening to him?" he asked as Vienna seemed to hesitate a little.

"uh I suggest you to see germany's story if I were you-" he quickly said as he hung up, leaving the berlinois even more confused. Hesitantly, he checked what Vienna has told him and looked what Germany have published.

To his surprise, the first thing he heard was someone yelling at a police officer in Czech.

He noticed that USA stood awkwardly, not really knowing what to do as sometimes checked the camera while Poland tried at least to calm Czechia down a little while the officer started to lost it too.

Indeed, he understood why Vienna wanted to know what happened.

Without any second, he composed Germany's number and waited for the other German to answer. Finally, he answered, his voice loud but only to be heard, not because he was confident right now.

"ja...?" he hesitantly said, still cautious about how Poland tried to make sure that the argument doesn't go too far by holding Czechia.

"Ger, can you actually tell me what happened?" Berlin quickly said as the concerned one coughed awkwardly and cleared his throat, laughing nervously.

"W-well you see it was supposed to be a rendez-vous at the cinema and- oh god what's happening" he interrupted himself as he saw that USA was also trying to calm her down. Berlin just blinked in surprise.

"maybe I should ask tomorrow" he though as he hung up, not really knowing what to do.

Well better sleeping to forgot what just happened, I guess.

----

Archive of our own version

Wattpad version

___________________________________________

AAAAH- *explode*ahem.

I came back from the dead to haunt you again with my shitty writing.

Anyway.

Ambery, I hope you still enjoyed even if it was trash I tried my best- if you didn't like it as well, I understand it's horrible-

(there's no beta read as well so yeah a gazillion of mistakes there, plot holes that-)

Peace. Well, I guess lol. *go back in my grave*