#copying pasting a huge message i sent to a mutual because i will never word it better | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fxcklore · 7 years

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Hello everyone! A week or so ago I received a message here on Tumblr from a person who claimed to know information about a certain model and her involvement in bearding/secret gay relationships. After exchanging some emails, this person shared all of their information with me but asked that I used code names so that no one gets in trouble (as they believe much of this could be traced back to them or others mentioned). If you have any questions about code names please feel free to message me privately and I will be happy to share a little more with those who ask nicely. I would just like to be respectful of this person’s wishes.

This info concerns a model we all know (Model 1) and her past relationship with another model we all know even better (Model 2). It was requested that I simply copy and paste the information in full. The person who sent me the info didn’t disclose their identity so I’m unsure how trustworthy they are. However, my impression was that the info wasn’t outrageous enough to change anything we don’t already know so I am leaning towards trusting this person. It is up to you to make up your own mind.

“You must know something about me: i have a very very good & detailed memory (since i was a child) i always remember what people don't, + very specific dates & conversations + the little things.My doctor says that it's certainly unusual but it does not completely fit as idetic memory per say (i'm considered smart+ but not a genius).I tell you this because it's very important in this story, it will help you understand why i remember so many details and things :) (even though i had to check a few things up with my 2 friends before writing this to you, just to be 100% sure) Before i tell you this story, i want to make something very clear: i do not know Model 2, i've never met her.i've met Model 1 only once, in early 2013 in Paris, it was before she started to "date" that Famous Actor. Both girls are not from my "models generation" (i'm 38, French, i worked as a model from 96 to 2000, no big covers but some very high profile fashion shows in haute couture & prêt-à-porter in Paris & Milan), it was still the golden age, with all of the worldwide famous supermodels around). Anyway, this is important because of someone i have worked with a few times back in the day, who now is a well known Actress (& a good one), we are not friends, we haven't seen each other in a few years, but we still have 2 good mutual and trustworthy friends: i'll explain later). i won't give you photographs of our past works together, even if i quit modeling a long time ago, i don't want to be identified, i hope you'll understand.On the other hand, i'm pretty sure if some specific people read this story, eventually they'll find out who my 2 friends are (but they're both ok with this, they don't really care). Ok, so my good friend is under 35, also French, she recently retired as a model, she was never famous but she has had a few high profile campaign in Europe, but was never a VS model.(i don't want to give more details about her). She's bi, (i'm a lesbian by the way), and we're both the lipstick kind. The only female model she's dated was Model 1, it didn't last (just for a few weeks), it was a rebound, for both of them.She introduced her to me in Paris in early 2013. we had diner together (with a few other people).i didn't know who she was, i remember thinking "her face looks familiar" i thought she was gorgeous, natural, surprising not too shallow, nice & kind of shy.During diner my friend mentioned that Model 1 was walking for Victoria's Secret, and it hit me "of course, ok now i know where i saw you before, got it" Before meeting with her, my friend had told me on the phone, that Model 1 had recently ended a long & complicated relationship with another model, Basically, the break up was mutual but they remained good friends.My friend didn't name the other model or said anything specific about her (but it was a "her" for sure).i remember asking her "are you ok with her still being so close to her ex ? " she answered: "i don't care, after what she said about their relationship, it's ok" Anyway, a couple of weeks after that diner, my friend called and said it was over..it was never serious, just a fling, so no big deal. A few months later, i was checking a french tabloid magazine at my doctor's office, and saw this article about that Famous Actor's apparently new girlfriend and i clearly recognized Model1.I called my friend right after, i remember asking her: " what the hell ?? that's Model 1 with Famous Actor, right ? she said "yes, i saw the pics yesterday too, a bit of a shock to be honest, Z & Y (2 friends who were with us at that diner) also called about it" i asked: "so she's bi ? sounds weird to me"(after the diner i was pretty sure she wasn't bi, but maybe i had understood it wrong, you never know (and to be honest my female gaydar is not always perfect ;)she had a little laugh: "you're kidding ?? she's as straight as jodie foster" (her exact words, i swear, it made me laugh)"ok, so..... bearding contract ?" i askedshe answered: "looks like it to me,i think there's no way she'd sleep with a guy, even for publicity" i have to explain that beardings contracts were already very much known & used during "my time", it was also a good boost for a model's career...So it didn't shock me when she agreed it was highly probably that, and it didn't shock me about Famous Actor either: there were already very big rumors about him back when i was modeling, so... part 2:Some time ago, we talked about it again (we were with a longtime friend of ours: (let's call him B), who is a quite well known in Paris, he works on many fashion week shows, he's gay and super cute (he dated a famous Male Singer in the late 90s/ it still makes us laugh because back then, we'd tell our friends that the Famous Singer was gay, but no one'd believe us !! (who's laughing now ;) All of a sudden, B asked my friend if she was still in contact with Model 1, she said "no"we both asked him :"why? have you seen her recently, how's she doing ?"he said "oh, yes, i worked with her a few months ago; she's doing fine" and that was it...it was strange because he always has something else to say about people (whether it's nice, bad or funny, always an anecdote,especially with famous people in the fashion industry) We both asked him "and ?? that's it ?? does she have a new boyfriend ? (winking at him)he laughed, and he hesitated, and after a few seconds said: "well, let me tell you something ladies, between us, she must have been asked to shut up recently" My friend & i asked him what he was talking about, B said "well, last time i worked with her, i asked her how things were going between her & her friend, because of what she had said at X's birthday diner party (i won't use the real initials for privacy) we were both at, the year before" he continued: "because she had been acting strangely that night & talking about some stuff"he said: "her reaction was very weird, she tried to convince me that she was sick & because she had had a few drinks that evening, her medication had made her say crazy things that weren't real" i told him "well maybe it was about Famous Actor ? did she reveal stuff about the beard thing" (it made sense to me) & my friend agreed.he replied with a little smile: "oh no no, she wasn't talking about Famous Actor that evening"... To explain: A bit more than a year earlier (which is about 2 & a half years ago), they were both at X's birthday diner party in Paris (a french designer, not very famous to people outside the industry, but quite known, also someone my friend and i had worked with in the past: + our friend (B) is good friends with)he said: " At some point in the evening, she was clearly tipsy & was chatty in a weird way about someone"i told him "so what ? Did she say mean stuff about someone ?"he said "no, more like she wanted to talk about something, without directly talking about it, because she couldn't or somethnig like that".My friend and i looked at each other, with the "what?" look on our faces "what are you talking about ? we don't understand" He added: "at the end of this diner party, just a few of us stayed (that's where the former model well known Actress comes back), he said "M was there by the way (the actress, i won't use her real initials either), (he mentioned her to us, because he knows i like her and that i have worked with her a few times back in the day) Apparently there were 7-8 people, a few of them (including the Actress) were on their phones while chatting, and started to make comments about Famous Actor's new "girlfriend"...Model 1 had left the party earlier (i must precise). He continues: " We were talking about how f***ing pathetic & crazy the whole bearding situation had become, we couldn't believe that after all this time,tabloids were still selling that shit to the public...", M said "yep,but a straight relationship sells more & studios would lose a lot of money if people knew about some very closeted stars...the more famous,the higher is the risk for them to lose their career over it"..."but it brings good paychecks to a few models, so.. you know , win-win" He continued: "someone added (another person): "yep, look at Model 1, it works for her"M said "i know right ?" then he said M added "and what was wrong with her tonight ?", the other person answered "apparently she knows stuff and she's struggling not to talk about it, because it's huge"..that person continues "i tried to make her talk,but it didn't work, then she left" Then B said to my friend & i : "Most of all thought that night that it was about another famous closeted actor she knew about, but i found out a few weeks later that it was in fact about a very famous closeted singer she has direct connexion with" we said "are you sure ?? for real ??"he confirmed it, but he didn't say male or female though.we asked him a few times, we really begged him to tell us.. but he just said "no ladies, not this time, this is way too hush hush for now, i'll tell you in a few years, if it's not out yet..ok ?" That's the end of my story. The reason why i talk about it only now: i didn't really give it much thought after that conversation, not knowing who that was anyway (or not knowing about the connexion), it wouldn't change my life, i like gossip like anyone, but i'm not the detective type, i didn't really care to be honest; i just felt bad for that person and for Famous Actor for being closeted, wondering if they were really happy that way.+ i had to take care of other things in my life, that were way more important.. BUT, a few weeks ago, the 14 years old daughter of a friend of mine and her best friend were having a loud argument in the next room, while we were having diner.My friend's wife asked the girls what the problem was : the friend said "she thinks the kaylors are right and i think she's an idiot to believe it"We laughed because none of us had any idea what they were talking about, then my friend's daughter explained briefly the "kaylor thing" to us....i laughed but i was intrigued (my gay curiosity was picked i guess), so after diner, i asked her to show me the proofs she had..She showed me a bunch of stuff on tumblr, including the detailed time line while explaining things to me at the same time, she showed me a few interviews and videos...she was very excited.i'll admitt i was intrigued.To be honest i vaguely remembered Model 2 from her VS years, but nothing more, and i didn't know much about Female Singer (except for her many boyfriends reputation, her 2-3 big hit songs and her few cat videos on IG that i find funny (loving cats as well), and i definitely didn't know about the gay or beard rumors. But when she also showed me the various elements about Model 1 & Model 2 , within 10 minutes pieces of the puzzle started to fit together, and i thought about meeting Model 1 that evening, and of course about everything my 2 friends had said....i asked her to show me about the time line, to see it the dates could fit, and they did, + she also showed me the little saab video of them together, and my gaydar really buzzed (i showed it to my girlfriend, and her gaydar also buzzed)i was mind blown, i couldn't believe it, i laughed, thinking "holy shit, if the other thing's real too, now i get it why he didn't tell us". i didn't say anything to my friend's daughter though....i told her i believed there were indeed very interesting elements, but that she couldn't be sure until it was confirmed (i know i feel bad, but what was i supposed to tell her ??) The day after, i called my friend,and asked her if Model 1's ex back then was Model 2...she said she didn't want to talk about it, that it was the past, and that she didn't care about that anymore...i didn't insist, but the way she said it, i'm pretty sure (knowing her for so long) that it was her way to somehow confirm it... As a conclusion, i do believe that you Kaylors are probably right,(knowing Model 1 & Model 2's "close friendship" was right, why not the rest ?) but i have no direct proof that Model 2 & Female Singer are actually dating. All i know is things that can not be proven directly unless my friends & i are called in to testify.i hope i won't get sued over this :( Anyway, i wanted to share this with you because after all the hard work and research some of you apprently did, i felt that at least you deserved to know what i know :) “

As the person mentioned at the end, they were really quite impressed with us and the amount of diligent research on Kaylor and other fake relationships we have collectively gathered. Again, feel free to message me with any questions and take this all with a grain of salt for now. I am only a vessel for the info this person was willing to share.

#kaylor

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emily-jared-zoe-benjamin-blog · 7 years

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TW: Abuse, rape, toxic houses, abelism, additction. text heavy post below the cut. Please read. Do not comment with anything that is unsupportive. x x x x x x x x x x I ususally dont have the energy or am too ashamed to tell people whats actually going on with me. It has felt very isolating and put me in a bad mental place for a long time. This time I am speaking out. It's hard for me to put this in words without being emotional. I have reached out to some folks in my community. I have direct support from members of MBAC, TWAC, NLG, SURJ. Three or four years ago, I and others started a rad community house to center marganilized folks. I have been the primary person holding down this house (as in emotional labor, physical labor, and financial labor). Awesome friends have lived here. So have alot of shitty, abusive assholes. I've been fucked over beyond anything I feel like going into. Things have deteriorated. The people I currently live with have worn me down to nothing and have turned the house into a toxic environment. They were all friends before moving in and reinforce and enable each others problematic behaviors. They are abelist and abusive. They aren't paying bills or rent. We are getting shut off notices everyday. One of my roommmates raped someone in the house and the rest have enabled this behavior thru appoligism and denial. JARED HUNSAKER BENJAMIN DONOLON AKA JOHN SMITH EMILY KAYE WARNER ZOE SNIK OR ZOE JENKINS TOXIC ENVIRONMENT Since this summer, I have consistently been woken up by rowdy partying every night from the hours of 3-9 AM. They will sleep or drink through the day. There is a culture of drug and alchohol use on a nightly and daily basis. Personally, I dont care what drugs people do as long as it does not negativly affect others in the house. That is the case here. The drugs they are using makes them highly aggressive. Often what wakes me up is barking dogs and sketchy-and-drunk, agro-white-cis dudes getting into fights or raising their voices. People and their dogs have literally stayed at the house for upwards of two months. Typically this is without discussion. Most of them have been physically violent and aggressive and verbally abusive. Most of them have been kicked out after multiple incidents of violence and agression. Most of these incidents arent communicated with other housemates. I finally find out once it's really bad that, oh, they knew this person was agro all along and had expierenced it. Many times these are people my roommates later claim to 'barely know' or just met. All are white cis dudes. I realize a lot of this behavior is deeply imbedded in their community. I have been in a constant state of exhaustion due to lack of sleep. I have chronic pain and I get exhausted everyday just from living and have explained this to them many times. It's disorienting being woken up from a deep REM sleep consistently. And I cant function/think. The last fucking noise I want to be woken up by is either a barking dog or the sound of a white cis dude who probably has dred locks. This is not a punk house. When I reached my limit and asked that we not host folks for a few weeks (especially white cis dudes) they did so anyways and lied to my face that no one was there (even when I saw them). I've also asked for specific people who have been agro not to be back at the house. This has also been ignored. When neighbors began coming to me, they finally took the noise seriously. ANON ROOMMATE - RAPE/ABUSE It is in this toxic culture that one of my roommates raped someone in the house. The entire house apparently knew/or was involved and didnt tell me, nor did they hold this person acocuntable. Why? Because they are denialists, appologists, and enablers. They shamed the survivor to their face as well as blamed them for the abuse because they both had drank. In addition, Emily screamed and violently reacted to the survivor when the survivor went to them for support. The rapist literally said things such as, "she is only saying I raped her because her feelings are hurt." They shit talked the survivor and said they were out to ruin them and not to trust them. These conversations took place in a Facebook chat which I am no longer in and copied and pasted to email form. *some screenshots included.. I reached the limit of pictures that could be posted, however, there is much more* I learned about the rape when rent was due (one month after the abuse) when the abuser didnt have money because he had to pay for part of the abortion. I immediatly reached out to the survivor and offered support. The survivor told me they reached out to everyone in the house to try to hold the abuser accountable and asked that I be told. No one in the house did that. I then sent a Facebook message to the entire house calling out the abuser and the other people's appoligist, enabling behaviors. I asked for accountability. I set up ground rules for this conversation and said I would end the conversation if they were broken (for example, no gaslighting, no survivor blaming, shaming, no aggressive personal attacks, etc). These rules were broken repeaditly as were boundaries the survivor set. They seriously triggered the survivor. I was unable to continue speaking with them because of how disguisting their comments were. I then reached out to the community for support. I arranged for a neutral mediator to meet with us in an effort to hold the abuser and others accountable. At first they were receptive. Then they never responded when the mediator reached out to them. We made more attempts and waited longer. Then said they refused to engage in mediation. I've made many efforts to hold them accountable within the house. This has failed. JARED HUNSAKER white cis male. Jared got in my face while I was in my chair, yelling when I asked him to be quiet at 4 am. He then refused to move out of my way and blocked my path and continued yelling at me until I came back out of my room to talk to him. He says that any request I have is either overreacting or petty. Usually, after I make a request to Emily (as the noise is coming from her room and I dont want to enter a room of people partying at 4 am, especially not after being attacked) for the entire group to be quiet, I will get a nasty text at 4 or 6 am from Jared saying "the whole house thinks it's time I move out" or calling me "petty." This has happened multiple times. Only two of those times are included. It's at a point where I know asking for them to respect basic boundaries or to do things around the house wont happen. I dont feel comfertable talking to them in person, so I have been talking to them over Facebook. At this point, I dont feel talking to them in any form will change anything. BENJAMIN DONLON AKA JOHN SMITH Benjamin is a poc cis male who recently moved here from Denver, Colorado. He used to organize and live at R2D2 and was briefly active in dont shoot. I found out that Benjamin basically fled Coloroado to escape accountability there. He was kicked out of his last house. Benjamin did not inform people in the house any of this information. I found out thru someone else in passing. When I asked him about this and for the name of the facilitator in Denver, he told me he was involved in a mutually abusive, co-dependant relationship where he was being mentally abused and he was physically violent. I asked him for the phone number of the facilitator of the process he went through. I asked four times. He never gave it to me. I thought it was a huge red flag that he didnt tell anyone about his past. I found the number myself. I learned that he was kicked out of a community house in Colorado for being violent towards other people and his former partner. He went through a process and was staying in the house. However, after that process, he chased his former partner into a room and she had to lock the door and trap herself in. He had punched walls before this and this time punched other folks trying to hold him back from punching the door more. It was at that time that he left Colorado. He has exibited the same behavior with me (chasing me into my room, yelling and banging the door down and trying to open it, refusing to leave). When he found out I spoke with the person in Denver, he became aggressive with me. Towering over me in my chair, yelling, blocking my path, hitting walls and counters, he accused me of "talking shit about him to people out of state" and then gaslit me, saying I never asked him for the phone number. Another time he did this to me, he ripped down a bill (in close proximity to my face and body, as I was literally in the act of putting up a shut off notice under the heat control when he ripped it down in my face). I told him to stop touching the heat unless he intended to pay, because it was about to be shut off. He then told me he would continue turning the heat on and to try to stop him (he hasn't paid bills since he moved in or paid full rent - as Emily told him this was okay). He began yelling at me and accusing me of stealing mail (???) and I quickly went into my room and held the door shut (my doors are french doors tied by a rope knot). He continued yelling and tried to break open the door. He left only when I blasted music to drown him out. Every encounter I have had with him since has been super aggressive. I later saw him and Zoe emptying the trash bins outside in apparent attempts to look for mail (?) it was gross and aggressive intimidation. He has harassed me while I was in the bathroom by yelling and threatening me (through a curtain door). He has waited outside my room in the dark for me to come out and mess with me on several occasions. EMILY WARNER: Emily works at Sam's Billiards as a cook (NE Sandy/42ndish). She's friends with people who party alot. She works most nights and parties afterwards until 9 am. Emily recently moved here from Michigan. I dont know where she meets her friends and would often later find out that she "doesn't know them" or just met them. She will also say that she doesnt know who's in her room and she isn't home when they are there. Both her and Zoe will say things are missing from their rooms all the time. Recently, Zoe has accused me of stealing from them, which is a baseless accusation; it clearly is the people they are bringing into the house. Emily has a pattern of abelism and creating conflict when asked to follow thru on basic promised responsibilities. Emily's dogs are dogs that bark at everything and destroy everything unless there are people around. They have been completly neglected. They almost never stop barking. Emily has barely been home these past few months. They may be cared for once a day if that. When she first moved in, she (like many before her) assumed that I would provide free animal care because I am disabled and at the house more than her. I told her after it was becoming apparent that I was not able to do this. She then paid others in the house to do this. My labor is always a free and exploited thing, of course. Then she stopped paying others and the dogs for months have been locked away in her room. Deficating and urinating in there and making a huge mess. They are so unhappy. Most of our conversations are about the dogs or being woken up. I have tried so many times, begging Emily to do something. The non-stop barking and wining every hour on a nightly basis is a nusance. She will say she is sorry and has done nothing to remedy this. She continues to neglect them or have the dogs in the presence of rowdy people and new dogs who rile them up. Others in the house have expressed the same sentiments. Emily generally has not followed thru on the things she has promised to do, and the same goes for most people in the house. Thus, house meetings continued to cover the same things that werent getting done until I finally told them that I refused to participate in house meetings. It was another drain on my labor to facilitate and plan the same meeting without follow through. So I did all the "to dos" and projects myself. Most of this involved physical labor, such as removing large objects, forming a gate, and cleaning the yard of large pallets and their party trash, clearing matresses, and so on. They did nothing to help. Finally, two months ago, I passed on the responsibility for paying rent and bills to Emily because I was at my breaking point. Most of the time people dont pay rent or bills. It's fucking not okay. I'm not a fucking bank. I exist on disability income while they all work/can work and spend their money on alchohol and molly. I've been dealing with this ontop of organizing and ontop of having almost zero will to exist. So Emily was taking our money and didn't pay any bills the entire time. If they took it, if they didnt have enough to cover bills, if they didn't communicate to us they need more money. I dont know and I dont care. I am facing shut off notices everyday and sadled with over $800 past due bills because of this. She continues to lie about paying them and does nothing. The bills she has said she paid are actually not paid. I have actual copies of the bills reflecting that as well as all her texts claiming that she paid them. She enabled the abuser by covering his rent and survivor-shamed by hiding the abuse from others in the house (along with other housemates). Last month, when rent was due, the money I gave her was missing. For 24 hours she wouldnt give me a straight answer as to where it was or if she had it. She strings me along saying things are paid and then I call the utilitiy the next day and find out she hasn't. This pattern has been going on for awhile and is exhausting. She will then spin elaborate stories to create conflict and to confuse the issue (not just about this, but everything). This is something all the folks in the house have been doing. They have been banding together to defend and enable an abuser and their own abusive behaviors. Sometimes I doubt my own reality. Lately I have been refusing to engage in their webs of lies. I've cut off all contact with them. ZOE SNIK- Zoe is someone I know from mutual friends in twac and also from shows. I had the most hope for them and am truelly sorry they are not seeing things clearly. They seemed somewhat supportive initially, but since I have taken action to kick Benjamin out of the house, they have been spreading actual lies about me online. They are best friends with Emily. They told me about the rape. When they did they did so, however, it was in a denialist way of shaming, dismissing, and denying the survivor's story. They and others said, "they were there" and thats not what happened. Or that the survivor was drunk at the time. After one or two initial conversations, Zoe refused to engage in further discussion about the abuse. Zoe has brought over many agro white cis dudes who have stayed for months. They continue to bring over folks who I specifically asked them not to, due to their aggressive behaviors toward me. These folks are always drunk when they are here. It makes me very uncomferable. They continued to bring groups of people over when specifically asked not to on a temporary basis because of how rowdy the house had been. I am the only one in this house who cleans or constantly picks up after the entire house and their beer cans, clearing other people's huge mattresses and yard couches. We havent had any spoons in the kitchen for many months. The past weeks, I've stopped cleaning up after them and no one did anything. During one telling incident (with past people), after we got an eviction notice, I cleaned the entire house and mowed the whole yard by myself as they sat on the porch smoking cigarettes. That literally happened. I've had to post desprate CraigsList ads. I trade my houseless friend weed in exhange for labor now. Recently Zoe dumped a moldy matreess that I specifically asked them not to dump in our yard/freepile, because I knew I'd be the one dealing with it, along with the others, right next to an actual no dumping sign that I made. After asking several times, I of course had to be the one to get rid of it. I empty the trash and do dishes. They virtually never contribute. I've explained how recylcing works a million times and im still having to sort thru our trash constantly because they don't care. With them having so many people over, I've never seen so much trash in the house. In the end, it is me dealing with it all and cleaning up after them all while being told that I'm being 'petty'. I maintain all the basics - I'm the sole person for years getting tiolet paper, soap, staple foods, ect. I have paid rent and bills and been in the constant state of being owed money. At times, two thosand dollars. It has taken me months to get repaid, only to have someone else not pay rent and me have to cover. Why is the one disabled person cleaning up after abelist messes? The air quality got so bad in here that the day has finally come. I am empyting bob myself (aka carrying up huge buckets of water from the basement upstairs). Fuck every last abelist bone in their body. Folks who support me have offered to help with this but asking someone to come do that seems like more time than it would for me to do it. This alone caused me alot of anxiety, then during this Emily felt entitled to take the dehumifier to her room. After spending days of trying to get outside help just to empty the thing, she has made it impossible. I texted her over the span of two days letting her know nicely that it needs to be returned, that it belongs to the house and I am having a real bad pain flare up because of her actions. First she didn't respond, then finally was snippy, and eventually moved it after the point where I lost my calm with her. Community members served a Restraining Order (RO) on Benjamin and are trying to find Jared. We went to great lengths to keep this within the community and not involve the police. If we did involve the police this would have been over already. Emily and Zoe will be evicted thru a community eviction. After serving an RO on Benjamin, both Zoe and Emily made posts on housing forums targetting me and attacking me for supporting survivors and making up lies about the situation. They have refused any accountability for their actions as to why they are being asked to leave. I am extremely worried about the past due bills that Emily has not paid on behalf of the house for months and making rent by April 1. I was planning on giving Zoe a second chance, despite their behaviors, because I saw hope in them working on this stuff. However, due to their lack of accountability and smear campaign against my name, that will no longer be the case.

#tw abuse #call out #emily warner #jared hunsaker #zoe snik #benjamin donolon #aka john smith #portland abusers #abuse #assault #rape #portland #community house

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minnievirizarry · 6 years

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Bad Template: How Not to Sabotage Your Outreach

Outreach is a key element in your online marketing strategy.

Influencers can help you broaden your reach exponentially with a single tweet or backlink.

Making connections, spreading influence, and maximizing your online visibility through amazing content can boost your brand quickly.

However, bad content will sabotage your hard-earned outreach efforts, eliminating any progress you made.

Here are 10 instances of bad content that will sabotage your outreach efforts and what you should do instead.

#1—Awful first sentences

You have around one-tenth of a second to make an impression. A lame first sentence will cause most to click away.

For example, Hubspot says starting an outreach email with "My name is…" or "I work for…" is not only boring and unoriginal, most people aren’t interested, frankly.

Other phrases like "Did you know…" or "I’ve been thinking…" put a reader off immediately because they don’t really want to know what you’ve been thinking about.

Awful first sentences are like a huge neon sign blinking on and off that reads "I’m trying to get something from you."

Unless, of course, you’re representing a large, internationally-known corporation, which could be a door-opener.

Instead, start your email with "[Person’s name] recommended we get in touch" or "You posted a great article on X in the Y group on LinkedIn yesterday."

The trick is to personalize the first sentence, which means you should begin your sentence with "You" rather than "I."

You’ll have a better chance of catching someone’s attention if you dive right into your message.

#2—Awful endings

Much like first sentences, ending your outreach efforts can make a difference in response rates.

The average person gets over 200 emails a day; you need a way to stand out from the crowd.

An ending can keep you top of mind for a variety of reasons—make it a good one.

Neuromarketing quoted a study that found safe-bet endings are "cheers," "kinds regards," and "best," which range from 14.5%, 13.5%, and a 7.8% increase in response rate, respectively.

But you can do better.

Your email’s closing should give context to your outreach. In particular, thankful closings prompt the best response rates:

Thanks in advance—38.3% increase

Thanks—32.6% increase

Thank you—21.9% increase

Gratitude is always good for boosting positive emotions between you and your recipient, and it sets an expectation of cooperation.

#3—Focus on benefits

Don’t focus on presenting every feature of your product. Going on ad nauseam is the swiftest way to get your email deleted.

Instead, tell them a story about how others have benefitted from using your product.

People respond to stories according to Harvard Business Review, especially stories about others just like themselves who have succeeded or overcome obstacles.

Give your reader an idea or a mental image of how you can help him and make it worth his valuable time.

You want to show how your recipient can benefit from responding to your email.

Always offer something that is equal to or more valuable than their time.

This is a great example of an outreach pitch that made me want to collaborate (even though there is a typo in the first sentence!):

#4—Average ideas or content

Build your outreach efforts on solid, fresh, and original ideas and content.

Asking someone you don’t know to share average ideas or content will never get you the outreach you need.

In fact, the person on the receiving end will likely never look at another email from you.

Take the time to be creative and original.

Put forward your best ideas or content, no matter where or who you’re targeting.

In fact, the more you create targeted content for outreach, the better your response rate.

The Daily Egg has an excellent post on how to make it so good that they can’t say no to your offer and will be inspired to share your link or article.

Perhaps the worst thing you can do is copy and paste your outreach content.

You get in trouble when you forget to remove copy targeting other influencers or target markets from your content, proving that your campaign is staged and impersonal.

You don’t want influencers to think that they’re part of a cookie-cutter outreach operation.

#5—Sloppy communications and content

Nothing makes you look more amateur than poorly-written, error-filled content.

If you can’t be bothered to take the time to edit and proofread your writing, then don’t bother sending it.

They will hit delete before they even reach the end.

You need to use an editing tool to strengthen and polish every piece of writing before you push send.

Even the best writers and editors make technical and stylistic gaffes that take their content from outstanding to mediocre.

An editing tool like ProWritingAid will capture multiple ways to improve your writing that you’re just too close to your work to catch.

#6—Divergent target markets

Let’s say, for example, you are working on an outreach campaign for a company that offers custom-made holidays.

Don’t direct your outreach efforts at a website that specialises in shoes.

While some people might like to have new shoes before leaving on holiday, most will not see a connection.

You need to find the communities that share your target market.

Make it very clear in your outreach emails how and where your communities overlap online.

The best outreach campaigns will have a well-thought-out marketing plan in advance of reaching out to influencers.

If you want a great response, show influencers how everything is laid out in front of them and the interconnections between their audience and your target market.

It will help them make their decision quicker and easier, saving time and helping to deliver awesome results.

#7—Mass emails

Sending out generic mass emails is spam, regardless of your intent.

Good outreach practices do not include the scattergun approach of sending vague emails to a lot of individuals you don’t follow or found at random.

Especially with influencers, give them credit for being able to tell that you have merely replaced the name at the top of a mass email and sent it to them.

If your business or content doesn’t mesh with the content they produce, you won’t connect or get a link back.

This is an example of an email I received this morning (I’ve blocked the names and specific websites):

They haven’t bothered to find out my name or mention anything about our product.

The example content has nothing to do with our area of expertise.

I didn’t even bother to respond.

Instead, carefully target people whose work you know and follow and who have similar interests or expertise.

Any good outreach program relies on a mutually beneficial relationship, so make sure you’re being deliberate and strategic with your outreach efforts.

Let them know what you can offer that will be beneficial to them.

To compare, I receive the email below on the same day. It’s clearly been customized specifically for me:

It’s not perfect but I will definitely reply and see if we can work together.

Personalizing your communication and including relevant links to content on an influencer’s website will help show that you are familiar with their audience and what they like to see.

#8—Too many (or not enough) options

It’s always good to give your readers choices for calls to action.

What can sabotage your efforts is giving one terse call to action or so many that they have analysis paralysis.

Go for somewhere in the middle such as a 2-3 item limit.

This avoids the hard sell of a single call to action (such as "Let me know the date that works best for a phone call").

It also avoids offering them so many alternatives that they put your email aside to think about later.

#9—Clickbait subject lines

Gimmicky subject lines that are nothing more than clickbait will sabotage not only your outreach efforts, but also any future campaigns.

For example, you may get emails with a subject line like:

"RE: ____________" where the subject leads you to believe it’s part of an earlier email thread

"Your copy is enclosed" with a link to a standard opt-in form in exchange for your personal information

An astonishing statement that doesn’t relate to the email’s content

You want to honestly and transparently grab readers’ attention.

If you think your subject lines may sabotage your outreach, send your emails to team members, peers, or colleagues first.

Get their feedback on subject lines and body content before sending out emails.

#10—Making it about social media instead of the relationship

Influencers are not in the position to simply collect a paycheck for helping out on a media campaign.

They want to create relationships with brands and people.

That’s generally how they became influencers in the first place.

So an outreach campaign with any influencer must benefit both your brand and theirs.

The only way to accomplish that is through a relationship.

The beauty of developing a relationship is that an influencer is more likely to talk about your brands in real life, beyond merely posting about it.

A relationship can drive an influencer to go above and beyond, especially if they feel a connection to what your brand stands for.

Get influencers personally invested in your vision and mission, and they’ll feel compelled to live it and promote it.

Conclusion

Remember, outreach—if it’s done thoughtfully— is beneficial to your prospects.

You are offering them something that they can use in their marketing efforts.

Think about what they would make their jobs easier and offer that.

If you follow the tips above, you will be less likely to sabotage your efforts with bad content and more likely to increase your open and conversion rates.

Lisa Lepki is the Editor of the ProWritingAid blog. A word nerd, she loves the technical elements of writing almost as much as the writing itself. Her work can be found on Writer’s Digest, bookbaby.com, The Write Life, and DIYAuthor.

The post Bad Template: How Not to Sabotage Your Outreach appeared first on NinjaOutreach.

from SM Tips By Minnie https://ninjaoutreach.com/bad-template-outreach/

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